Suicide Prevention Sat part 2 - Death & Faith

So I would totally be bobbing my head to music if I could play music, but no, if we play music then Facebook says, oh, you are bad and you are using copyrighted stuff and we will not let you do that sort of thing. So, uh, just so you all know, How do I do this? Yeah, no, it's not. Come on, come on. How do I do this? Holy heck, look at you, Guns and Barbecue. Um, I don't know, I was trying to make it so that I could look at Facebook and then also see what you're saying. So anyway, maybe this will work, maybe it won't. Uh, yes, you are first, by the way, um, if it makes you feel— what the— all right, sorry, I love and hate technology, really I do. Um, and I wish that— oh, wait a second, what the heck? All right, maybe it's fixed. Maybe I can actually pay attention to you guys and the tech will actually work this time so that, uh, things Well, see, all right, so I gotta tell you, sir, so seriously, I came on like 5 minutes early so that, you know, you'd have a notification, you'd be able to get here in time. Unfortunately, I was on the wrong channel, so I'm sitting here chatting, I'm like, hmm, why isn't it showing up on my Facebook feed? All that. Hey Chris, um, and hey DJ. Sorry, I'm like, yeah, thanks DJ. Um, Yeah, the technology is cool and challenging all at the same time. So, uh, tonight we are talking about death and joy and faith. So I have a friend of mine who is going to be dead by this time next week, and he knows he's going to be dead by this time next week. And so I asked him, like, is it okay if I talk about you? I won't use your name or anything, but it's just got to be sort of a surreal feeling. He's been ill. He is dying. It's, it's, it's really rough. The doctors can't fix him or make him any better. And so, hey Mike, nice to see you today. Um, and it's just, it's hard. We talked about a little bit last week with Chris. Um, and, uh, just because when we're talking about dementia last week, and if you didn't see last week, you should go back and watch that one. That's like an hour and 15 minutes. But I think it's worth it. So when people have terminal illnesses, it is so hard to deal with because it's weird. It's like, we think that we are immortal. We don't worry about us dying, but we get upset over other people dying. Or at least that's where my point of view was for the longest time, especially— get it— while I was suicidal, because, well, if I leave this earth, it doesn't really matter. Um, third thumb. Wait a second, I'm so confused. But anyway, hi DW, how you doing? Um, I'll be over to your, your, your channel after this. So it's really weird in America, for the most part we don't really have any good death customs. Uh, for me, I have a very limited knowledge, and I think my favorite death customs come from the Mexicans and from the Jews, because I remember going to one of my friend's wedding— or weddings. I also have this challenge with weddings and funerals. I call funerals weddings and vice versa. It's a Freudian slip, they say. But in the Jewish tradition, what limited knowledge I have of it, one of the things that would happen is that at the gravesite, everyone was invited to help bury the departed. And it's like, part of me is like, wow, that's crazy, because I've never been anywhere like that, and I didn't know about it. So it's sort of like you're standing at the gravesite like, oh yes, you can throw, you know, you were here to help him live through life, now you can be here to help finish off his final moments. I'm on earth. I'm not— I don't understand it. So those are my Jewish friends who can explain it better, feel free to make a comment and explain it a little better or give us a link for that. But it was about community. It was, you know, we're around that person all of their lives and now they're gone, and now we're helping finish the job of burying them. And I just kind of thought that was, I don't know, a cool thing to do, a way of sort of finishing that, um, the circle of life thing. And yes, I've been watching Lion King with my kids lately. So then let's go to Mexico. Day of the Dead. Um, I don't know if that's specifically a Mexican thing or if that's just parts of Mexico, but I love the Day of the Dead thing. Um, and, uh, sorry, I'm gonna get back to Mike in just a second because we're gonna talk about faith and stuff like that and energy and all of that. But, um, the Day of the Dead thing I think is also very cool where it's like they're gone. Actually, this is perfect for Mike's, Mike's, uh Who's it? What's it? Thumbs up. Okay, third thumbs up. All right. Yes, all of you that are on YouTube and Facebook, do the like thing, which I think most of you have done. But, um, oh my goodness. So back to Day of the Dead. The whole idea is that they're gone, but they're not gone. They're just on the other side, whatever the other side is to you. Everyone has different faiths and that sort of thing, but I just thought it was beautiful because it's like you get to honor the dead. So it's one of those things where we never want anyone else to go, and at the same time, we don't want people to be upset when we go. Or at least I find that's a lot of things. So for those of you on YouTube, not on Facebook, Mike put, it's not the end when you die. I might sound crazy, but I saw my friend leave his body. I see through image of him above his— a see-through image above his body. Sorry, I can sort of read. Um, so my friend Mike, he was camping, and he and his buddy went to bed or went to sleep, and the next morning he woke up and his buddy was gone. And so he was literally there by his side when he died. Um, and then Oh, so Chris also did the, uh, Day of the Dead. Very cool. That's also on Facebook. So, um, what else? What else? So, belief systems, death, and how do you get there? Well, we all die. We all know we're gonna die. We just don't know when we're gonna die. My friend has a unique point of view at this point in time. Because he knows exactly when he's going to die, roughly. He's dying next Saturday because he's, um, that's when he's, he's going to the hospital on Friday and he's not coming home on Saturday. And so he's saying goodbye to all his friends and family. And it's crazy because some people are being gracious about it and some people are being assholes about it, quite honestly. Um, And it's just they're not having compassion for the fact that he's exhausted, he's tired, there is no, you know, quality of life going forward, there is no yes, he's gonna feel better and be able to go play with his grandkids and all that sort of stuff. It's not an option. So it's really hard because it's super easy to judge, and one of the challenges we have is we have to remember that when we judge others it's usually we're upset about something. So it's hard to feel that loss of someone that you know, and fear of the unknown, anger makes us bitter. And when we are afraid of the unknown, we will lash out and not be the best selves we have. And this is where getting into faith really matters, because let's say you are a born-again Christian or a Christian of any— many of the varieties of Christians. Your belief system is that Jesus came to save you and the rest of the world against all their sins, which gave you the golden ticket to get into heaven as long as you accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. So with that faith, you should be a little bit less afraid of death. And I know I've heard lots of preachers talk about it where it's just like, come get me, Lord, I'm ready to go, because we're looking forward to that paradise. But it's easy to say that. It's a whole nother animal for us to really feel and believe that. And this is where that having a faith helps you at least have an idea of what you're looking at. Um, in freshman year in high school, I had like the best English teacher, and she went through all the pantheons of Greek and Roman gods. And we talked about Hades and the, the place in between, Purgatory. I guess that's also in the Catholic faith as well. Um, and then Olympus. And it's funny because I don't know that there was like a heaven sort of thing for for the multi-gods. So knowing and understanding— oh, I know, um, who are they? Thor, Vikings, you know, we've got Valhalla. You can, you can go to Valhalla if you are a warrior and you die in battle, and that is the place that you go. And there's all of these stories around death. Egyptians, again, big when I was in school. Because the pyramids are just so amazing and there's so much. And yet without picking one and truly having that faith, it's just scary. For my atheist friends, I don't know what to do. I say believe in Einstein. You are neither here— well, sorry, matter is neither destroyed or created, it just transforms. Now I know there's some science out there, they're debunking that, but I still like the Einstein thing for all my atheists, is that it may not be heaven or hell or purgatory or any of that, but you're still here one way or another. So faith matters. Having an idea of what you think is going to happen to you. I was lucky enough with my dad for him to finally find peace before he died. And it was amazing to see. He had been afraid of dying for a really long time, and he also was terminally ill. And the family had that meeting and said, we're going to let you go. We're going to try to keep you alive. And, um, and it's one of those things where I, the dad, my dad asked me, he's like, what do you think? Should I change my mind? Cause he was pretty sure he also was exhausted and tired of fighting. And his quality of life was definitely not where he wanted to be. And I'm like, no, Dad, it's like unless there's some miracle that occurs that all of a sudden everything is better, there's no reason to keep fighting and making your life miserable and that sort of thing. And the doctor's like, huh, not many families are that honest. And it's just like, I think it's because we're afraid to say that. We, we don't want to suffer. I don't know about you, but I don't want to go slow and painfully into the night. I would like to be quick and just go to sleep and it's over. But I mean, we don't get to pick that either. We don't pick the day, we don't pick how, any of that sort of stuff. So, all right. So, well, DJ, that's very good of you to be helpful because like I said, some people can be jerks. Hey, Carrie Anne, I owe you an email just so you know. All right. So Chris, what did you just say? Expected death. When someone dies, The first thing to do is nothing. Don't run out and call the nurse. Don't pick up the phone. Take a deep breath and be present. Um, oh my gosh, you wrote a book. All right. I'm probably not going to read that. So those of you on YouTube, you can go to my Facebook page and read it because there's a whole lot of stuff. But the short version of it is be present. Um, because we don't always get the honor of being by someone's side when they go. And my grandmother also, it was a matter like my friend where we're all standing by her. I can click. Yeah, so all right, sorry. Yes, Gun Websites, I know if my Facebook comments would show up here in StreamYard, it would totally work that way. But unfortunately, I'm only seeing my Facebook comments in Facebook. So, um, because yes, see, look, I know how to do it because I can put your stuff up there too. All right, so, um, I was at my grandma's bedside with the rest of the family when the doctor came in and— oh wait, I'm gonna get rid of that now, silly me. Um, and they said, okay, it's time, and they're gonna turn off the machines. And as an 18, 19-year-old, somewhere in there, 18. Yeah, I'm not even sure. It's definitely weird for the first time you get to watch someone die because they're there, and it's sort of like Chris started to talk about, and everybody was just quiet. There was no discussion. There was no, okay, there was just, okay, it's over. And it is a moment of silence, and it is a moment of awe. And knowing that you too shall pass. And it's also, we don't know what to do. We don't know what to do with funerals. We don't know what to say at funerals. It's like when we lost, no matter who we lose, it's always, sorry for your loss. Sorry for your loss. Sorry for your loss. And it's just like, I would love to change the world and be like, I am so glad that you had this person in your life for as long as you did. And they gave you the stories that they gave you. So I've decided I go to funerals now and I celebrate, right? Um, because why are we sad? Of course we're going to be sad, but we're sad because we're not going to have any new stories. And I think one of the best things about funerals is hearing all the stories. Uh, we joked about at my dad's funeral, most of the stories had to do with explosions, fast cars, and sharp things. That's sort of the gist of it. And most people were surprised that my father got as far as he did. So, and it's one of those things, every funeral I go to, I try to ask, you know, what's your favorite story? Because that to me is honoring their life. But again, life is hard. Death is hard. Losing people is hard. Knowing that they're going to go. Like having my friend, he's going to be gone this time next week. He will be no more on this plane. And as long as you have faith that there is somewhere else that you're going and it doesn't scare you, or you're content with that, that definitely helps. And if you share that belief with others, that also helps. And this is where it's like super important for, um, to talk about death. Because I know we're talking about suicide prevention, and that's the whole purpose of this talk, but the truth of the matter is, A, we're not going to save everybody. Doesn't matter how good we get, none of us are getting out of this alive. However, if we can find better ways to honor our lives while we are here, honoring ourselves and understand we're worth saving. There's a reason to stick around. Don't put that gun in your mouth and pull the trigger. It's not really okay, and it's because we need you on this world, and you just don't know when you're gonna make that difference. You're gonna have that story. Like, I'm on here to tell the story of when I was suicidal as a teen, to know that I made it and there's hope. Because if there are any teens watching— probably not, it's not Instagram— but anyway, Life is hard whether you're successful or not successful, it's still hard. It is not easy for anyone and we need you to hang around. Exactly, no one gets out of here alive, James Morrison. I'm like, I knew there was some quote like that. So while we're here, have grace for yourself first and foremost. Try to find that Oh, teens are on TikTok. Yeah, I'm so never going there. But anyway, find— try to find that grace for yourself. And I really suggest you try to find that spiritual connection. I'm not even going to say, oh, you've got to become a born-again Christian, or, you know, you have to know all the pantheons of, you know, Valhalla and who knows what. But it's like, find that peace, find that connection to something more than you. Because we're this little tiny blue marble floating around the universe, and to think that we are all that is here I don't think so. So, uh, I have gone longer than normal. So I do try to keep this to 15 minutes or less, and I'm shocked and amazed I got through most of it without completely crying because it is a hard topic and it does make you want to cry. And it's hard because we miss those— see, I shouldn't have said that— we miss those that are no longer with us. So Call your friends, check in on people, say hi, make that phone call when you have a thought about that person. Because unlike me knowing my friend's going to be gone next week, you never know when you're going to lose somebody that you wished and thought about, but you never made that call. You never actually went and had coffee, all of those things. But more importantly than reaching out to that person, reach in, hey Donna, how's the firewood going? Reach inside and find your peace in here, because happiness is an inside job. Peace is an inside job. Having grace for yourself first is what matters and allows you to be better for others. So find your divine. There you go, Carrie, that's perfect. Good job. So yeah, um, that's it. I will, uh, yeah, thank you, guns. Um, or I should just call you barbecue. I don't even know anymore. So I'm glad you've enjoyed it, and I will be back next Saturday. And by all means, feel free to leave comments of what you'd like next Saturday's topic to be, and I'll give you— I don't know, maybe, who knows, maybe I'll find somebody to interview between now and then. We'll do another like hour. Ah, it's okay, Dean, you can watch the, the, um, You can watch the replay. Thank you, Rita. So anything else you guys wanna know, talk about more, or if you want more on this, by all means, let me know and I will see y'all next week. All right, bye guys.