Suicide Prevention Sat - The night before a match

I was so close. Uh, so here we are, just like that. What did I just do? All of a sudden my whole thing changed. Um, all right, what did— where did that go? Sorry, so technical difficulties because, you know, I am technical difficulty person right now. Ah, I was looking for the private chat. So, um, I know it's 9 o'clock and I'm still gabbing to to honestly to DJ. So DJ, quick, so you know, in the private chat I put the link up that I'll have you post up later that may or may not work. So that's what we got going on right now. All right, so new background, it's a hotel. I am not, uh, home. Where am I? I'm somewhere in Massachusetts. I think it's Billerica. Um, and then yeah, because tomorrow I am going to down the street to a competition, math state championships. But anyway, all right, it is Saturday night, so we are all here for Suicide Prevention Saturday. And, um, oh, Barbecue made it, and so did Fiona. Who knew? Um, I knew DJ was here, so there was that. Hey Mario, we gotta get a new reschedule time for you because I know people want that. Um, yes, I will. No, I don't want to kick ass. Actually, the whole point of tomorrow is actually going to be practice with my carry gun because next week I'm going to State Academy and doing force-on-force training because, you know, everyone should try that sometime. All right, so Suicide Prevention Saturday. Why? As gun owners, 2 out of every 3 gun deaths are what? Suicide. Right? Repeat after me because you know this because we're sharing this every week. And that is one of our biggest stats out there. I think that's important because when people say they want to save lives, I say if 60%— wait, do I have this right? 60% of a problem is the exact same thing, suicide, over 60%, um, this is what we should pay attention to. For those of you who are bad at math, 6 out of 10 is 60%. That's why I'm doing 6, because I don't have 60 fingers and that would be really weird. So, um, yeah. All right. So Peace and Calm was the title. And the reason I chose that for this week is because as soon as I'm done with you, I have to calm myself down and go to sleep because I have to get up early in the morning and go to the gun range and shoot all day. And so peace and kind— peace and calm, yes, would be lovely. Um, it's so funny, I see this dot right here and my husband said, "What happened, brass?" I'm like, "Yes, hot brass." This is the problem with being a firearms instructor. Even when you're wearing a collar up to here, brass still gets down your shirt. I swear to God,.22 brass is the hottest brass out there. So, um, to live moo. I don't know what he's saying, "What to." I have no idea. He's just saying what. Maybe he meant to say what up and he entered too fast because, you know, that's always a possibility. All right, peace and calm, how do you do it? DJ, that link that I put up, now would be the time. Um, so for me, I just took a 2.5-hour ride from home to the hotel. I had a slight pit stop, uh, stopped in to see my friend Charlie Cook where he refreshed me with water and seltzer and Ritz crackers because that's always good. And yeah, the ouchie thing for sure. So 2.5 hours on the road where I catch up with a lot of my phone calls. However, my peace and calm is my playlist, and that in theory is what DJ's gonna link down here if that actually works. Um, so listening to music is my peace and calm most of the time. I do lots of things. Sorry, I am laughing because, um, I just said I was, you know, with Charlie and, um, riding shotgun with Charlie is who I was talking about when I say Charlie Cook. And I took all of his food. I stopped in for like 15 minutes on my ride up here and I took all of his food. So, um, so yeah, so that's that. Peace and Calm playlist. There we go. That's what I'm trying to say. So here it is. I'm gonna drop it because I don't know what DJ's doing over there. So there is my playlist to YouTube. And driving here, listening to music is one of those things that calms me down. Just bopping around and singing because no one's in the car, so I can sing when no one's in the car because then I don't hurt anyone. Um, It helps me get centered. It helps me, uh, raise my energy, make me happier, because it's fun to bop around and sing songs that you know the words to. And that's my thing. Um, so, uh, yeah, sorry. So when Fiona looks at my playlist, she'll be sad that there's not a whole bunch of Slayer, Anthrax, unfortunately. I think maybe, maybe Um, there might be one or two Metallica songs there, but you know, to each their own. So peace and calm, what does that mean to you? Some people need stuff like meditation. I totally, 100,000% suggest y'all try meditation. And ready, for those who have not been here before, here's how you can meditate super easy, super fast. Ready? Take a breath in. Pause and let the breath out. That moment where you're in between your breaths, that's actually a meditation. It can be that simple and that easy, and yet hard as heck if you try too hard. Just like when my students come to me and they try really, really hard to get to the, um, only hit the center of the target. I've had a lot of students lately. I'm, I'm getting busier. Yay, thank you all for referring— referring? Sending people to me. Yes, those things. So, um, but a lot of people try too hard when it comes to shooting. We have the same problem when it comes to meditation. If you've read anything about Zen or the practice of Zen, it's about being right here Right now, in this moment, what are you doing? You're watching some chick on YouTube or Facebook or wherever you happen to be watching this. Wait, I'm pretty sure those are the only two places I actually am. And where are you? You're probably in a home. I'm in a hotel. You're somewhere safe and comfortable, I would hope. You have technology available to you. What else is happening right now? Um, Tara's out on a date with her wife. There's that, uh, because she dropped in earlier. So right now is the only moment that actually matters. And if we can bring ourselves to right now, we tend to have that peace and calm. And, um, uh, if we go forward and we think about what could happen, that's usually where we can find anxiety. If If we go backwards and we think, are sad about things that have happened, like, you know, losing my sister, losing my dad, those things, I can also go into depression. So right now, this moment is where we can find peace and calm. And that's it. That's the whole point is that in this moment, as you're experiencing it, is the now and the moment. If you're feeling anxious— wait, that way I think I said— is usually looking forward at what could happen. Like me trying to pack all my crap to get here and make sure I didn't forget anything for the, the range and everything I'm doing. And did I forget stuff? Yes, yes I did. I forgot my cover garment for, um, IDPA. I forgot my knee brace. Huh. So as soon as I'm with you guys, I'm going to CVS to go see if I can find a new knee brace. Because I was rushing. I was trying to get to somewhere, so that was the anxiety, which I'm gonna blame my anxiety of trying to get here faster and doing things quicker made me forget stuff. Um, and then, you know, get here to you guys on time because there was a little bit, um, a little bit worry about that. But here I am. So peace and calm, what is yours? I know you guys all have said a whole bunch of stuff and I have not been reading it all because I want to try to get done quick, like Um, all right, what in the world did I miss? Uh, so very much stuff. Um, I got nothing. Um, I speak to myself in, in the cat when I'm alone. No, it's not stupid. Actually, animals are totally like one of the best stress reducers ever. You don't have to talk to it if you can just pet it. That brings your blood pressure down. It, uh, releases melatonin— serotonin? I don't know, I forget my, my neurochemicals. But, um, just petting an animal actually makes a huge difference. All right, DJ, what else you got for me since you've been paying attention, actually replying to them? If we're anxious in the moment, that's only once to be anxious, not 3 times past, present, or future, right? So actually, to Dean's point, I actually have a very, uh, Ooh, sad, gross story. Um, I was driving and there was a squirrel on the road and it looked like it was hit and dead. And then as I drive by, the poor little guy has a broken leg, broken back, and he's just scurrying off the side of the road. And that made me very sad because I'm very sad and I hate to see anything suffer. So knowing how much it makes me sad, I have to really think about it. And it's like, A, I can't do anything. I can't kill the squirrel because he's already gone. I can't— I'm not going to find him. I can't catch him. I can't fix them, all of that. But I know if I think about the squirrel, I will cry and I'll be sad, and it'll be very sad. And I have to realize that moment happened and then it's over. To Dean's point, one of the sayings is, a coward dies a thousand deaths, a true hero only dies one. Because if I'm afraid to do something because I'm afraid I'm gonna fail, or I'm afraid that someone's not gonna like what I do, and I keep thinking about, oh my gosh, Fiona's gonna hate the fact there's no Metallica on my list, so I can't share with anyone because Fiona won't like it. Um, I, I, I'm like, oh, but Fiona accepts me for who I am. I don't have to have the same music likes and preferences to be friends. But I can get in my head and think that, oh my goodness, I can't share this with anyone because I might offend one person. So yeah, the whole, um, what do you call it, um, sorry, I think I just saw Mario's thing. He doesn't talk to himself to the cat, he talks to himself in the car. But, um, it's when we think about what could happen. So to Dean's point of before, after, and again is definitely we have to pay attention to where we're at. Um, yeah, exactly. Um, I am so not for pain and suffering. And whenever I see dead animals in general— because on the drive here there's a dead deer, there's a dead wombat, I don't know, I don't know, big black thing— I have— I say wombat, I don't even know what a wombat is. But it's just like, I just hope it was quick. I hope whatever animals are dead on the road went quickly, unlike that poor little squirrel that had to scurry off the road. And I'm just like, okay, but I'm working on me to have that— yeah, wombat, I don't know. Um, I'm working on me to find that happiness and not get stuck in the horrible things, because the squirrel was horrible, but in true reality life can be really horrible. Because one of the things I'm thinking as I'm driving up here to get you guys is just like, I'm driving along and I'm like, you have no idea who's on the highway with you. I could be driving next to a serial killer. I could be driving next to someone who's trafficking children for sex slaves. I could be traveling next to someone who's going to their wedding. I could be traveling next to someone who's going to their funeral. We don't know, right? So, um, what we do know is how we feel. If we pay attention to what we focus on, then we can be more aware of what makes us happy, makes us calm. Notice if we're stuck somewhere, like Dean said, early, later. Um, wait, what'd you say? All right. Oh, hey Rita, nice to see you. Um, yeah. Anxiety is worrying about what's ahead. So hard to retrain our brains. And yes, serotonin. Okay, yeah, like, I'm like, I forget which one. Petting the animals gives you more serotonin. But, and most of us don't realize, and that's kind of why we do this, right, have this conversation, is that so many people will say bad things to themselves and not even realize the stuff they're saying is bad. So like that little mini conversation about, oh, I can't put my playlist up because Fiona won't like it because there's not enough Metallica. Again, Fiona doesn't give a crap. Um, but we get in our heads. Like, I've had conversations with people where I will say something and I, I'm like, I don't know if that came off wrong. And then I— it goes around in my head, and like a week later I'm like, hey Susie Q, last week I'm really sorry, but I said this and I didn't mean to offend you, but I didn't— I just wanted to let you know that I didn't mean anything by it. And Susie Q's just like, what are you talking about? And this is the other thing that we touched on last week, is that, that horrible bike cab dude that we had that was totally a jerk. But if we do care about our heads and what we're paying attention to, we don't want to give our time and our energy that's in our heads to some jerk Because that jerk that you're all mad about doesn't give a crap about what's going on in your head. And that hate, that anger, that frustration, that anxiety is just a poison that you're taking. So what does this have to do with suicide prevention? Oh, I don't know, mental health. And what does mental health have to do with suicide prevention? The stronger each one of us are, the more tools we have in our toolbox that get us to pay attention to what we're saying first. Because in the Bible it says, physician, heal thyself. And it's one of my favorite quotes in the Bible because so many of us want to point at somebody else out there and say, you need to fix this. Because in actuality, we have to be the light. I'm sorry, I'm laughing at that because I immediately go back to scripture of the light and the way. And but anyway, Um, sorry, trying not to quote the Bible all night, but not that it's a bad thing, but I know sometimes I get it wrong, so there's that. And yes, I'm glad that DJ and Fiona are, you know, gonna become friends now because DJ is mad that I don't have Metallica on my playlist. Um, all right, so I gotta put this one up though. This is why I take private helicopters, so I don't have to worry about who I'm traveling next to. All right, Elon Musk, not all of us can do that sort of thing. Um, no, and oh wait, yes, well, that was what I was saying, DJ, that you do care about the absence of Metallica on the list. Well, you know, we all have our lines in the sand, so there is that. Oh, so all right, where are we at? And yes, I do have Paul Abdul, it's true. Because I think that video with her dancing with the cat is totally rad. At least I did when I was in my teens in the '80s. So, but anyway, all right, so where are we? We're at 9:16. I still have to go get tape for my knee. I hope that I've given you enough things to think about. I'm sorry I have not seen everything in the chat. Um, And, uh, let's see what else. I don't know, I'm scrolling up. It's, uh, what, what else do I have to do? I saw that. I see, um, no Metallica on the playlist. All right, well, so that's only one of my playlists, just so we're clear. I have, I have my AC/DC and Metallica playlist, um, as well. What else? Oh, I know Barbecue said something. So, sounds like such a rough day tomorrow. I sent my condolences. Wish I could go. Nice. Yeah, dude. Um, so yeah, it's a 200-round match, roughly, uh, 13 stages. I think that includes chrono. And, um, it should be fun. It may or may not rain, or it's going to be like 85 degrees out and I'm gonna melt because I don't have my cover garment, which means I have to wear my my raincoat because I wasn't sure if it was gonna rain or not. So, and yeah, and so what Mario said was Metallica songs reminded of Iraq and no bueno. For those of you who missed it or haven't seen it, Mario, uh, and I did a, um, what do you call it, we did one of these last time I was at a competition, is one that aired, and Mario suffers from PTSD, so, um Yeah, having songs trigger you in the opposite direction also does not help. Uh, when I was a teen, I was actually very suicidal, uh, depressed, and still, um, I realized listening to some of the songs that I used to really listen to all the time, I was like, I would use some songs to go even deeper and down and further, and some songs bring you up and higher and that sort of thing. So, um, be aware. I guess that's the biggest thing is pay attention to what's up here, um, and pay attention to the words. With my students today, some of them were talking about their lack of knowledge regarding firearms, and I have to remind them, I'm like, the reason you are paying me to spend time with me is so that I can expand your knowledge in firearms because you don't already have all of it. So they were using less than kind words when they were talking about that though. Stupid, scared, not— I don't know how to explain it, but it's just we have to pay attention. It was focusing on why am I so slow at learning this, and I said, well, the why is always a horrible question. We always want to go to the how, in that how can I learn this and enjoy the process? How can I do this and enjoy the process? How can I do this quicker or faster? Because whatever questions we ask ourselves— bleh, I can talk— our brains will come up with an answer. If we say why, why am I dumb? Why am I fat? Why am I slow? Why am I whatever it is, our brains are going to come up with an answer. So when we talk about why versus how, remember that you're programming your brain with the words that you say, and the words that you say are super important, and you have to start becoming aware of what's happening in your brain. Um, all right, I gotta put this one up because, you know, we gotta let people know that Fiona thinks I am a kick-ass teacher. So And Fiona is a great student, so I can say that too. And she's also one of my unicorns because she's got the quickest, fastest growing collection of iron of any of my kids— any of my kids— any of my students. She's not my kid, although I believe I am still older than her. I think we had that conversation. So it's hard to show confidence sometimes in front of a teacher, let alone peers. Right. The challenge is you need to make sure that you're not looking for that, why am I so dumb? And that's the other reason to change it to how can I be better? Well, so we're not solo creatures. We are 100%. Wait, sorry. We're not solo creatures on a solo mission. We are social creatures on a mission. And yes, we're alone sometimes, which is good. We all need our alone time. That's why, like, when my husband traveled all the time, I didn't mind having the house to myself from time to time. Those days are gone. But it's like, when you're alone, it's even more important to pay attention to what words are going around in your brain. This is something Mario and I can talk about. Next time he comes on, because we're definitely going to do this again. And, um, oh yeah, sorry, I was giving Charlie a hard time about whether who was older, me or him, and Charlie Cook is older than me by almost a full year, actually 10 months. And, uh, yeah, Fiona and I have a difference of age by 6 months, but I won't tell anyone how old I am because, you know, I don't know if Fiona wants to share that. So, all right guys, it is 9:20. I gotta run to CVS. I gotta go tape my knee or find a new knee brace so I'm ready for tomorrow morning. I also need to get my little head to be put down on a pillow so I actually get some sleep tonight. So as always, thanks for checking in. Thanks for the likes and the shares. Let's see, let's see, likes, shares, I don't know, depends on if you're— let's see, so wait, if it's Facebook, it's like and share, and if it's YouTube, it's like and share. So, um, yeah, I, I think I corrected to 10. I don't— I think, but, um, yeah. So yes, I will do my best to have a good time at the gun event. Like I said, my main goal really is to practice with my carry gun and see how it shakes out, um, because that will make my, um training next week at SIG Academy that much better if I've got more time behind that one. Oh yeah, and yeah, 100%, 1000%, you have to be your best cheerleader always. Don't get me wrong, we love having the outside cheerleader saying go, go, go, because to me that's what you guys are. Um, and, uh, finally, yeah, thumbs up, not like. But it's all good. All right, good night all. I will see you next week. Who knows, maybe I'll pop another live up. I'm doing those a little bit more randomly, uh, usually when I'm teaching because I did one this morning. I don't know if you all saw it, and I know DJ did because he commented, and I think G Webs did as well. And I will see y'all next week if not before then. Have a great weekend or whatever time you're watching this the rest of