Suicide Prevention Sat - The Power of words!
In this live‑recorded session Brooke Cheney, owner‑instructor of A Great Start Shooting School, leads her weekly "Suicide Prevention Saturday" talk. She opens with a stark statistic that two‑thirds of gun deaths are suicides, arguing that suicide prevention must be a priority. Brooke critiques red‑flag laws as infringing on due‑process rights and highlights the U.S. mental‑health bed shortage, noting a decline from 350 beds per 100,000 people in the 1950s to under 20 today. The core of the session focuses on language as a tool for mental‑health resilience: the "I am" statements (positive vs. negative self‑talk) and the shift from asking "why" to asking "how can I" to reframe problems into possibilities. She explains how the brain’s reticular activating system (RAS) amplifies the focus set by these questions, and shares practical tactics—gratitude lists, movement, music, jumping jacks, scheduling, writing goals, and manifestation—to boost mood and energy, especially on gray days. Brooke also discusses work‑life balance, purpose, and family priorities, weaving personal anecdotes (her own suicidal thoughts, her sister’s death, her husband’s support) throughout. The session ends with DJ reading a 1950s poem affirming "I am somebody," reinforcing the power of affirmation. Brooke wraps up with a preview of upcoming shooting‑range events and a reminder to practice concealed‑carry training and family time.
Chapters
Ta-da! All right, I am showtime. No, it says you're live, it's showtime. All right, hello everyone. Oh, sorry, replay viewers, because, well, actually some of you are like on YouTube waiting for me sometimes, so I guess it's not always YouTube, but replay viewers who get to see the beginning. Welcome to Suicide Prevention Saturday. If you've not been here before, my name is Brooke and I am the owner and instructor at A Great Start Shooting School. Every Saturday, roughly give or take a couple here and there, I come on at 9 PM Eastern and we talk about suicide prevention in lots of different ways. Sometimes we're talking about what the suicide stats are. Oh wait, do you all know? Those of you been watching for a while, go ahead, put in the comments, on the comments, wherever they are. How many? 2? Out of every 3 gun deaths you hear about in gun violence are suicides. So if over 60% of a problem is one single thing, don't you think we should work on that thing? Suicide prevention. So, um, that's why we do this every Saturday. And when I say we, I would not be here. Good job, Fiona. Hold on, let me, uh, you know I told DJ that I was not going to pick stuff, and I'm going to try to not look in the comments until we're 10 minutes in so I can just get through my stuff without squirrel. But I think Fiona needed to know— or needed to get the good job thing. So anyway, oh wait, how do I do that? All right, so 2 out of every 3 gun deaths are suicide. So if we're talking about saving lives, talking about suicide is super important. Uh, I have DJ here with me in the background. He will throw up your comments as he sees fit when we are done talking about the initial 5 or 10 minutes of tonight, which we're going to talk about the 2 most important, most powerful words: I am, and then choosing why versus how can I. All right, so that's the deal. 2 out of 3 gun deaths, suicide. If we want to save lives, we need to focus on suicide. Now, there's been some interesting conversations this week, in the past 2 weeks, and they're talking about adding funding to mental health. Yes, rock on! That is totally what we want— more funding for mental health. Red flag laws? Nope, no interest in that whatsoever. I talked to a reporter this week and she asked me about what I thought about them. I said, here's the simple solution for those of you who are gun owners and would like to be able to have an idea or a suggestion for some of the conversations you can have. Our justice system is set up so that you and I are equals, in that our justice system says you and I have due process. That's our Fourth Amendment right, for those of you who don't know. Wait, so avoidance of search and seizure, all of that. I can't get overly technical, but red flag laws is do not allow us to be treated equally because our rights are stripped from us with a red flag law. So for those of you who don't know about that, after the initial 10 minutes of I am and why versus how, um, we can talk about that a little bit more. But suicide prevention, mental health, definitely key. Our country is in a mental health crisis. It is worse than it's ever been. My husband actually brought up some stats for me just last week, which were in the 1950s, for every 100,000 people, there were about 350 beds available for mental health across the US. The last stat that they looked at was, I want to say 2007, And for that same 100,000 people, there were 17 beds available. And honestly, they don't know what the current count is now. We're just going to guess it may be even less. If you have dealt with anyone who was in crisis, you know finding a bed is one of the worst challenges that there is. Um, if you've seen some of the past ones, Jake and I were talking about that from Walk the Talk America, and he was saying how that no one has enough beds. We need more beds. And what's caused this crisis was the fact that there were asylums that were doing bad things. They were publicized. Oh wait, like school shootings. And then the world decided, the society decided to get rid of them. Unfortunately, like our favorite senator or congressman, Mr. Murphy, says. We didn't do anything to fill that hole, so we have lots of issues. So let's talk about how do we get powerful. Power words are I am. Now here's the kicker: you can use those power words to build yourself up. I am beautiful. I am spectacular. I am kind. I am nice. I am loving. Or we can use those two words and tear ourselves down. I'm stupid. I'm lazy. Uh, sorry, I have a harder time going this way. Um, uh, I am crap. I am ugly. I am fat. I am out of shape. So yeah, sorry, it just took me a little bit. I'm like, how do I go backwards? So we want to go up, right? No matter who you are, whether you feel you're dealing with any mental health issues, we want to have that positive mental image of ourselves. And when I say, "I am," or when you say, "I am," one of two things happens. You are choosing to use words like, "I am beautiful, I am loving," or we are choosing words like, "I am stupid, I am lazy, I am a procrastinator." I am dumb. So those two little words of I am, we need to be fully aware and really realize that we are making a choice when we say I am. Now, why is this coming up this week? Oh, I don't know, because I talk to my students all the time and I have proof, or I have anecdotal evidence that often my students believe they are slow, they are uncoordinated, they are something that's generally derogatory. In that, I say, well, no, here's the thing: you are learning a new skill, you are new to this whatever we're doing. And even in class, I try to get people to understand that What we say out loud and in our heads is the most important thing because we are the people who talk to ourselves the most, whether you're talking out loud or just in your brain. So ready? I got a question for you. Who are you? Double dog dare, all 5 of you who are watching. Yeah, like I'm making it 10 because there's— yeah, write in the comments wherever they are. If you're on Facebook, they're here, I think, and if you're on YouTube, they're there. Who are you? And just use the 'I am.' I am beautiful. I am smart. I am talented. I am amazing with firearms. Whatever it is, I double-dog dare you to give yourself a compliment here on the channel, whichever one you're at, and say 'I am,' because it's hard to give yourself a compliment. As much as I'm like doing 'I am beautiful, I am loving, I am kind,' and then trying to go the other way— 'I am stupid, I am lazy. I am not— as much as I'm pausing to say those things, I'm good at the negative stuff as well. So now, see, now I have to look at the comments because I asked for something specific. So, triple dog dare you. Exactly. I am somebody. All right, DJ. I am phenomenal. Yes, Fiona for the win. Um, ah, PN Woods. I am great at teaching. Spectacular. CloverTac is the greatest Guntuber of all time. And yes, you are absolutely freaking fantastic. And actually, people say that about you. I have heard that from my friends who have said you are just amazing and knowledgeable and all of those things. Now, PN Woods, I am great at sarcasm. A little tongue-in-cheek there, I think, as far as that goes. Yeah, Mike, I am a good person. It is true. And it's like, I just read that. And when I read that, I got goosebumps, right? Because even if you don't type something or write something in here, if you read that, say, I am a good person, even though Mike wrote that, when you read that, you get to hear it in your brain. Whatever, but I am, I am looking good and feeling fine. Wait a second, is he not gonna put it in there? Yeah, you better put that up there. Um, yes, and he does. Oh, Fiona going for the mom thing. I am a great mom. See, I don't even think about that one. I am kind of a big deal. You know who else says that? I know a Charlie Cook who says that all the time. Um, but wait, who said that? You went too fast, DJ. I don't even know who said it. I'm a big deal. Who's I'm a kind of a big deal? Oh, John. Ha! We only met today. Yes, you are. And you're going to be even more of a big deal when you have me on your show, of course. So anywho. All right. So I am, the most important words that you need to pay attention to when they come up in your head. And be careful with the words that you choose. Now, we're going to go on. We can take down that, that thing. Who are you thing? All right. So Next, your choice: why versus how can I? This one's even harder because most of us have this hardwired to ask why. When did we learn that? Apparently when we were toddlers. Why, Mom? Why? Why? Why? Because we were able to engage if Someone says why, or like, I don't know, I have no idea. Why do we bring— why do we give Rudolph an extra carrot with salt on it? Oh, why, why, why, why, why? So why comes naturally because it's the easy way to get answers or get in— what's this? Engagement. There we go. I know words. Why did you do that? Doesn't that sound just a tiny bit accusatory, possibly? Why is the sky blue? When we get questioned, our brain is amazing. It can come up with answers, and it can make some really good stuff up, or depending on what's after why, we make up some really crappy stuff. Why am I so fat? Oh, because I'm lazy and won't pay attention to what I eat. Um, why is my office a mess? 'cause I'm lazy and I don't pay attention. I don't know. However, if I change my why question instead to how can I, all of a sudden asking yourself how can I changes how you feel, right? I know when I'm saying this to you that if I say why, it's sort of like, why'd you do that? Were you mad at me? Were you evil? Are you just being a jerk? So that's what why can give us versus how can I. So, hmm, how can I keep my office clean and enjoy the process? How can I lose weight and enjoy the process? How can I get better at marksmanship versus why do I suck at shooting? How can I gives you the opportunity and it gives you the reality that it's a possibility. So how can I gives you the possibility that there is a possibility for you to do whatever is going to come after that thing. So this is where why— if you find yourself beating yourself up or asking questions that are not making you feel good, because why tends to be accusatory, um, can be just a downright downer. Because once you go with why, your brain's going to come up with something. So if it's, why am I overweight? Well, because— and then we make a list, whether it's shopping, exercising, God only knows why, metabolism, etc. Why gives us a list to create. When we go with how can I, then all of a sudden that opens doors to allow us to imagine how we can do something, and it opens the possibilities. And possibilities are way more fun and empowering than a list of why. So that's it, Mike, just for you. See, I just did like a little— well, 13 minutes. Um, So that we just talked about the things you can do. What does this have to do with suicide prevention? Oh, I don't know, because everything that happens here is where we win or lose our fights when we're dealing with anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts, stress in general. So choosing our internal voices, our internal questions, the things we say out loud, all of those things help. Because even if you are not suicidal currently or anytime ever in your entire life, Good job. However, the happier you are, the less stress you have, the easier it is for you to reach out and help somebody else who may need your help. And sometimes we're the helpers and sometimes we're the help givers. And so that's why we need to figure out these tools that help us either grow ourselves or realize if we're going in a hole, how to get out of it. So I hope that was all helpful. All right, DJ, what'd I miss? Seriously been here though. Why do I feel so yucky? When it rains? How can I deal better with rainy days? Uh, very cool. Um, my mother-in-law actually has that problem all the time, or used to. So your answer to that question is going to be your answer to that question, in that for me, if I want to bring my energy up, because honestly, um that the gray days that we've been having lately really do kind of suck. And for me, I turn on a playlist like we talked about last Saturday. I listen to music. I literally will dance around the house because movement is emotion. Motion is emotion, right? So if you notice it's gray, you're kind of bummed, feeling low energy, check in to find out, are you actually tired and need a nap? And if you are, take a nap, because just because you're low energy and tired does not mean you don't actually need rest. If you're pretty sure that's not it, then we go to what can you do to change your state? Because the feeling depressed, sad, etc. is a state of mind. And this is where we start with our gratitude stuff, or 5 jumping jacks, or something like that. Back to motion is emotion, right? So if I am here and it's grayed out and I start talking slowly, or I'm thinking yeah, it's gray out here, it sucks, it's cold, where's the summer? I will continue down that path. So what we just talked about, right? How can I enjoy a gray day? Because your thing may not be music, your thing might be cooking. I mean, I know a lot of folks come from Barbecue's channel, so maybe you need to go grill something. Um, My daughter, she loves cleaning. Maybe you need to go clean the bathroom or the kitchen or something like that. So how can you— um, sorry, I know DJ already put it down, but, um, I feel better when it rains. Oh yeah, so find something that makes you happier. So when it's a rainy day, ask yourself the question we just talked about: how can I enjoy a rainy day? Because another way I will enjoy a rainy day is It's a quiet time. I can start a fire. I can read a book. I can snuggle on the couch and do something that's relaxing and enjoyable. If I want to have higher energy, I can jump up and down and do jumping jacks. And for me, like I said, I blast the music and dance around the house. So, all right, PNW Woods, who is an amazing teacher, and balance work and home. Nobody balances anything. Just so we're clear, it's totally a, a lie. Um, and since, if I remember correctly, which I probably don't, but you teach, and I believe you teach challenged kids. Yes, maybe, no. Um, so when teaching that's an emotional outpouring because it tends to be a labor of love. And with that job, there's that fine line of pouring out your entire heart and then coming home and having nothing for the family, or being too hard and still having nothing for the family because it's exhausting being hard as well. But Um, balance between work and home. Honestly, when I did Mary Kay, there was an order of three: God first, family second, career third. It wasn't that work was balanced, is that your daily priorities are balanced. Now, um, hold on, let's work— win too much. I'm assuming you're pointing at yourself because that's the dog. Um, yeah, work can be overwhelming. Um, so yeah, talking to yourself every morning with affirmative statements can help. However, you gotta find your purpose. Uh, there is— I don't have it here, of course. Jim Quick is the brain— the Boy with a Broken Brain, and he teaches people how to Learn. And I'm reading his book currently, and the chapter I was just reading was about how you need to know what your purpose and your passions are. And your purpose and your passion are not necessarily the same thing, but they do feed one another. And just like I was talking about, God first, family second, career third— if we have those things in order, so if you have faith For me, I try to pray every morning and every night before bed. And then family, I make sure that I have time that's just for my kids and my husband. So my husband gets time, my son gets time, my daughter gets time, and it's on the calendar so that I know for sure at least once a week they each get one-on-one time with me. And then we have a game night so that we are together. Now ask me how often we have our weekly game night. We managed to actually do it about once a month. However, at least we've planned some time for family. So your work life versus personal family life is a matter of scheduling often, but it's also making sure that you are doing all that you can to support yourself. I'm doing a great job at work because I love what I do. And I love my family, and I remember that they're most important to me because they're the ones that matter the most. Whatever your positive statements can, or what they are going to be for you, is going to be different. All right, so just because Fiona's being funny— well, if you watch Facebook enough, um, you can watch The Secret or any of those things and figure out how to manifest things in your life. Now, I believe 1,000% in manifestation, and the reason being is that when I was in high school, even though I was suicidal, I still had my thoughts on my prince charming, and I knew I wanted prince charming, and he was going to take care of me, and he was going to be awesome. And I planned my wedding. I planned the dress that I was going to wear at my wedding when I was a teenager. And when I was 29, I had that dress that I'd planned for when I was a kid. I had that husband that is my soulmate, that is my Prince Charming. So I do believe very much in focus on what you get, or you get a lot of what you focus on. Now, winning the lottery, I'm not really sure about that, but I've never focused on that because it's not been something that's important to me. I joke about winning the lottery, but I would have to actually play. And CloverTac, I'm guessing you're just going with the— oh, sorry, don't sail for the weekends because my wife is off on weekends. Yeah, well, but so here's the thing, you should schedule something with them specifically, maybe like we're going to the Air and Space Museum next Monday when my son gets back from Boy Scout camp. And, or sorry, on Wednesday. So it's like we have, like for the summer, my Monday, Monday is my day off. So we're scheduling me and my kids cuz they're 14 and 16 and we're gonna do stuff on Mondays. So it's like, that's how I'm making sure my family, because those of us who are entrepreneurs know that we could work 24/7 on our business. And so it's super easy. Um, and, uh, so yeah, but you got to do you. Just because I have to schedule it to make sure it happens, I know that works for me. But if you're ever feeling like you're out of balance, you got to do what works for you. So that question we talked about earlier: how can I balance life at work and at home and enjoy the process? I know it seems super simple, but I can— sorry, I should have stopped looking at the chat. Um, your brain will come up with it, and it's not necessarily— it's not going to be instantaneous. It takes time, just like me designing my, my, my wedding dress when I was a teenager in high school, and at age 29 having that said wedding dress. You know, when I decided who my Prince Charming was going to be and then having my Prince Charming just because you ask the question, your brain, your RAS, your reticular activating system, becomes aware of what you want. Unfortunately, most people focus on what they don't have, and, um, they get more of that, and they don't realize that they're focusing on the cancer, the brokenness, the lack of, and they get more of that because that's all they're focusing on. When you focus on what you want versus what you don't want, you get much closer to that. And yes, positive projection. Try that again. Rocks. I'm like, rocks. Um, so anyway, uh, Clover Tech, schedule work-related stuff. Oh yes, um, for my family stuff. Last weekend was road trip with grads, this weekend moving. But yeah, very cool. But, and again, like, if you're feeling like it's out of balance, that question of how can I, whatever, insert, and enjoy the process is huge. When we lost my little sister to a car accident her senior year in college, my mom and I were on our front porch and we agreed we're going to ask what's good about this. And when I tell people that story, especially like that week, while we're planning funerals and burying my baby sister. Um, they're like, you did what? I'm like, we asked what's good about this. Because when we lose someone and we're burying them, everybody knows what sucks. Everyone says we're sorry for your loss. Everyone, um, is sad and know that you're sad. But by simply saying that question, what's good about this, a year later I could look back and say, oh, Mom got into meditation. Oh, Mom you know, worked on, uh, stuff that she hadn't worked on in a long time. Like, she started doing her art and things like that. And DJ, to answer your question, reticular activating system, also known as your RAS. So the way your reticular activating system works is it's a part of your brain that when you say why, you will get your list of crap because you're not giving it very good direction. But if you say, how can I, and you have a specific thing, um, how can I get that Corvette, right? Corvette's my favorite car. Um, yeah, it really is. So anyway, when I say, how can I get that Corvette, or how can I be around that Corvette more, I see more Corvettes. Um, the guy I was talking about before, Jim Quick, and quick learning, and it's K-W-I-K, just to get you really confused. He talks about it in his book, and his example was his niece wanted a pug puppy for her birthday, and so she sent him pictures of pug puppies. She sent him letters that had pictures of pug puppies, and every time she talked to him, she she talked about pug puppies. And then Jim noticed everywhere he went, he saw pug puppies where he had never seen them before because they weren't something that had been planted in his brain. So your reticular activating system is what is getting your focus. So I don't know that it's going to help you win the lottery, Fiona, I'm sorry, but when you physically write stuff down, And this is sort of, I guess, part of why I get back to the schedule stuff that you want to do, is when you physically write stuff down, you're creating neural pathways within your brain because your hand coordination to physically write stuff down. You can make a list of things that you want or that you want to do, and if you physically write them down, you are 78% more likely to get them done than if you just think about them. When my husband and I bought a brand new house, um, we had a whiteboard and we made what we thought was a 5 or 10 year plan of things we wanted. And the Corvette was on the list, but it was new sink, new refrigerator, hot tub cover, just a whole bunch of random things that we figured would be 5 to 10 years out. By having physically written them and having them on our refrigerator. So we saw them every day. Within 12 months, we had most of the things that were on that list without really, really focusing on them. So, ah, so CloverTac— hold on, I'm gonna grab that. Um, it's not actionable. It's really a list maker. It's an accusation. Generally, people are like, why do you do that to me? Why are you so stupid? What Why, why can't you do this right, right? Like, to me, that's where why tends to go. Um, and back to your other thing about why is this broken versus how can I fix this, exactly kind of the same idea, right? Um, shit breaks, that's why it's broken. And yes, how do you fix it? That's how you fix the problem versus, um You know, why almost doesn't matter, right? Why do people get suicidal? Because shit happens in their life and life is hard, and we aren't given tons of good information on how to deal with our emotional situation, right? The answer is the action, because yeah, you cannot— you need to know why sometimes, right? I'm not saying you can't ever ask the why question, just be really careful about what happens after the why. Um, I'm trying to read what Clover— I can't read it. Why can't I see that? All right, I give— I'm just going to pop this up because I can't read it. I am more likely to lose the thing I wrote them down on, right? But so here's the thing about that though, it doesn't matter. It so doesn't matter because the act of writing it created that neural pathway in your brain So whether you want it or not, whether you physically have it or not, doesn't even necessarily matter. It's that what your brain does. So, uh, that's it. That's what I got. Um, that's what I got for tonight. So I am— whenever you hear yourself saying that or thinking I am, make sure that you pay attention to the words that come after that. Because I am tired of limping because my knee is messed up versus I am healing and on a healing pathway gives me more hope and desire to continue doing all the workout and physical therapy and all of that. Um, so, um, be aware of what happens after I am. And then the question of why. Versus how can I. So why to me is blame, while where how can I is opportunity and options. So that's what I got. That's it, because I'm losing my voice now. And oh wait, I just gotta put the, uh, I'm guessing Clovertack mentor, I am like 99% more likely to lose the thing that I wrote them down on. So because Clovertack— I'm putting words in his mouth— said I am, he is right. And that's the other part that I guess I didn't really touch on that I probably should have, which is whatever you say I am, you're going to be right. Just like when you say why and you get answers, you're going to be right. And this is why you have to realize you're making the choices of the words that are coming after that. All right, DJ, for whatever reason, I can't see like the last couple of things. So is there anything else I can see? I can see under Clover Tact, 0.99%. Oh no, but it's time. That's all I saw.
And there are no further comments. But if there is some time, if there is some time you wish to dedicate, I have a short I have a short poem that I'd love to share.
All right, hold on. We can, we can, we can make it people at least see your, your fancy, uh, icon.
My icon. All right then. So, uh, from the 1950s, this is a poem written by the Reverend William Holmes Borders Sr. Um, he was a pastor and civil rights activist in Atlanta, Georgia. It, it goes as follows: I am somebody. I am somebody. I may be poor, but I am somebody. I may be young, but I am somebody. I may be on welfare, but I am somebody. I may be small, but I am somebody. I may have made mistakes, but I am somebody. My clothes are different, my face is different, my hair is different, but I am somebody. I am black, brown, or white. I speak a different language, but I must be respected, protected, and never rejected. I am God's child. I really like that message.
That is very cool. And it just kind of helps also because like as you're reading it, seriously, how do you feel? No, DJ, don't unmute yourself, dude. So when you say all that word, even though you're reading someone else's word, how do you feel when you're reading that poem?
Emboldened. I do. Is it the efficacy there in those words is that it reminds me of things, though many of those particular points do not apply. It is also the poetic, um, during recitation, the repetition of 'I am somebody.' The thing the poem begins with saying 'I am somebody' twice, it's an affirmation of self and a projection to be, as it concludes, respected, protected, and not rejected.
Exactly.
I dig it.
Awesome. Thank you. Awesome way to close out. Sorry we're leaving G23 just as you got here. That's what you get for having your Saturday night chats on Saturday night. So I did— I was popped in there earlier. So anywho, very well everyone, have a lovely rest of your weekend. I am off. Oh, Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there. Almost forgot. Um, we go to our annual I-CORE match tomorrow with my husband and my son are shooting From there I'm leaving and going to New Hampshire to Sig Academy for, uh, training. I'm doing a concealed carry for women on Monday and Tuesday, come home Wednesday for a day at the museum with my kids, and then Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, that's what I'm working. So anyway, hope you all have a good week and I will see you next Saturday.
