Suicide Prevention Sat. What made you so insecure?

Ta-da! All right, so what is today? It's Saturday, unless you're watching a replay, then I don't know what day it is, but hopefully you do. Unless you've got a concussion or head injury, in theory you should know what day it is. So Suicide Prevention Saturday. Why? Because 2 of every 3 gun deaths you hear about are suicides. If you and I want to make a positive impact on on our world, we need to start addressing the issues of suicide prevention, mental health, that sort of thing. So I pop on here every Saturday night, 9 PM Eastern, to say a couple words here and there about our mental state. Why our mental state, like yours and mine? Because you and I need to be healthy mentally first before we could help anyone else. Or at least that's kind of the idea of it. We have to become aware of what is wrong with us, what challenges we have, so that we can then help ourselves. And that way we can be a better example to others, or at least be able to help others get out of the hole, because most of us are in some kind of hole one way or another. So how's your week been? Happy New Year. Uh, it is currently 2023, and I had a coaching call on Thursday, and we talked about lots of things on it. And one of the things we talked about is what made you so insecure? Where did you lose your faith in you? And my answer was, well, as a kid I was picked on, and I thought the girls who picked on me were were super mean and stuck up and really thought much of themselves. And I never wanted to be that really confident, like, oh, I can kick your ass because I'm awesome kind of person. And I didn't want to think that much of myself. And then of course that gets you to thinking, so what makes you feel good about yourself? See, how often do we ask that question? And, but more importantly, having had been asked the question, what makes you feel so bad about yourself? What makes you feel so unworthy of the love, the praise, the acceptance that other people have of you? And none of that matters. I mean, in that if someone says you're beautiful or someone says you're ugly, does it matter? No. What matters is what you believe. So if you believe you are beautiful, you will, will hear the person who calls you beautiful. If you believe you are ugly, you're going to believe the person who says you are ugly. So whose thought matters? Whose thoughts matter the most? That would be yours. So when we talk about suicide prevention, when we talk about making the world a better place, so often we want to see the world get better, when in actuality it is us. We are the ones who have to make ourselves better. There are many crappy things that happen in the world that we have no control over ever. There are other days or other things that we do have control over. You know what that is? Well, when we start paying attention, we get to pay attention to what is up here. Because it's very easy to look out around us and be like, oh well, this happened, or that happened, or well, I'm sad because of And then there are some of us who just are sad all of a sudden for no apparent reason whatsoever. Why do I say that? Well, because that would be me. I have that happen to me from time to time. So we have to take care of us. I know this is a broken record. For those of you who check in here every Saturday night, God bless you. I appreciate that you show up here, um, even though this is not live. Um, I'm willing, willing to bet there's a DJ out there. Um, there is probably gun websites out there. There's probably a G2 there is a Tara, possibly there is, uh, let's see, Fiona. So I'm very blessed that you all show up, and I just want to say that even if I'm not here, that you are here. So that's really kind of cool. All right, so what else do we need to work on? How do we make the world better? Here in Connecticut, we just started our legislative session. What does that mean for me? That means a boatload of stinking stress. Why? Well, because I actually pay attention to our legislative session here in Connecticut, not only me, but then all my DC Project Girls that I'm trying to help understand how to become part of the process. If you are not one of my DC Project Girls, that's okay too, because I still want to help people get into this. That being said, why do we do stuff like this? Why do we put ourselves through stress? Why do we do stuff that we know is going to be challenging and hard because we know it's worth it. Whether we are working on self-improvement for ourselves, whether we are figuring out how to deal with our emotions or the stuff that the world puts out to us, learning is always better. Having one more tool in your toolbox for what do I do when something makes me sad: 1, recognize it. 1. Realize the understanding that you paid attention to the fact that you are sad versus accepting it as just how you are, right? 2. Now that you've recognized that you're sad or upset, what can you do about it? Not will the person who pissed you off die somewhere, but what can you do about it from inside? 3. Ready? This is the hard one. This is the one that's super challenging. When you know what you should do to make yourself better, what should you do? The third one's the hardest. Actually stinkin' do it. And the reason I say that's the hardest thing is because I've talked to you guys about this before, but it's like, if I'm super sad or upset about something, I know if I remember to turn the music on and start dancing I will feel better. But going from 2, knowing what to do, to actually doing it, number 3, is super duper hard. And the only way that you get better at doing it is making yourself do it over and over again. So I know I'm still practicing. I'm still working on getting better at doing the thing that I know will make me happier. Movement is the simplest thing in the world. I know I talk about turning music on and dancing. Honestly, for someone, someone out there that's watching right now, if you are sad, it could be as simple as instead of looking down, pick your chin up. That's it. It doesn't have to be dancing around the room with 1,000 decibels of music going on around you. It could be something as simple as picking your head up. So, double dog dare you. Ready? So put your head down, everybody. I don't care if you're depressed or not. Go ahead, put your head down. Look down, look down at the floor. Notice how you are feeling right now. Notice when I slow down, I'm a little bit softer, not quite as exciting. All right, ready? Pick your head up. Okay, your chin is now parallel to the ground. Put your shoulders back. Shoulders go back. Put your scapulas together a little bit. Take a big breath, right? Whether you're stressed or not, in theory, that should make you feel better anyway, right? You don't have to wait to employ something that makes you feel better. You don't have to wait to feel bad to feel better than you currently feel. Now, ready? We're gonna go one more step. Look up at the ceiling. Yes, that's it. What does that feel like to you? Here's the deal, one size never fits all. Maybe it makes you feel better, maybe you don't notice anything. That's okay, but try stuff. Figure out more things that make you feel better about who you are. It may be doing something. Another one of the coachings that I was in was talking about do the thing you say you're going to do. Because that lovely question of why don't you have confidence in yourself, or why do you feel bad about yourself, often is, at least for me, is I'm going to get that laundry caught up today, and then I don't. Oh well, I'm going to start tomorrow, and then I don't. So what have I done? I've lied to myself twice. How can I have integrity if I'm lying to myself about what I'm going to do? Tony Robbins always talks about set the game up to win. Do what you can to make sure you're going to win the game that you are playing, because guess what? Your life is your game. You get to write the rules. If you want to stay in a crappy, miserable relationship with someone That is your choice. And if you're like, no, no, no, no, no, it's not my fault, I don't have a choice in the matter, I can't— you're right, you're absolutely right. However, if you realize it's like, hmm, how is this serving me? Why am I staying here? Do I like pain and suffering? Some people do. Acknowledge the fact that that is you and you are content with that, and this is your choice. If you do not like pain and suffering and you believe truly that you are worth more, then you have to start really believing in yourself by doing the things you're going— you say you're going to do. That's just one example of how do we get better about who we are, how do we have more faith in who we are. Um, again, if this sounds like I'm talking about you, I'm really not. I'm mostly talking about myself. Now, to be fair, I have a spectacular relationship with my husband. Could it be better? Probably. I'm pretty sure everything we do, there's another level of better. This is why, again, back to Tony Robbins, because, you know, I've been following him the longest. Um, perfection is the lowest standard. Because know how per— getting too perfect doesn't happen. Because right now, whatever I think is perfect, when I get there— because, you know, I've tried— what happens is then you realize, oh, but wait, there's this little tweak. Oh, that's a little better. Okay, so now this is perfection. Oh wait, but wait, there's another tweak. Oh yeah, but now this is perfection. So this is why perfection is the lowest standard. Constant and never-ending improvement. This is what you and I have to look forward to. No matter how we get good, how good we get at something, we can always be a little bit better, a little bit faster, a little bit more efficient. All of these things. This is why when I have one of those spectacular days where I get so much done— I got the laundry done, I got the clean kitchen, I've got my students' paperwork all set up, I've got my guns cleaned, I've got everything— there's always one more thing. There's always more. So 3 seems to be the theme for today, so let's go with 3. Pick your top 3 things that you want to get done on a daily basis. Maybe pick 2, or more likely, do what Tony Robbins says— pick one. Pick one thing to do consistently. Last week I mentioned the make your bed video. Do one thing consistently. Uh, that one thing is make your bed, and you can go watch the video from last week because it talks about why that one thing can make a difference in your life. Do one thing consistently, then build on that one thing. Set the game up to win. Make it so you can win your game of life because you are the only one in control of it. I know it's hard to believe sometimes because it's like, well, I just got laid off, this just happened, so-and-so left me, so on and so forth. But the truth is you don't have control over what happens around you. The only thing you have control over is how you react to it. So with that, I leave you to think about one thing that you can do. I don't know what it's gonna be. Could be make your bed, might be read 10 pages a day like in the 75 Hard Challenge. Um, it could be brush your teeth. I know there's so many people out there that think everyone brushes their teeth every day, right? No, your normal is yours, yours alone. What people expect of you is not what matters. What you expect of yourself is what matters. So you all have a lovely week. I swear, now the holidays are over and this birthday weekend is done, I will be back live and in person next Saturday. And until then, I look forward to reading your comments because I will come back here later. So leave them there and there, and, uh, I'll talk to y'all next week. Have an awesome rest of the weekend, and, uh, see you soon. Oh, and I always forget, number 2.