Suicide Prevention Saturday - Anything Goes :)

I'm just about to start. Would you like to be a co-host? Oh wait, it says I'm live. Okay, yeah, the voice in the background. Um, yeah, I hit the button twice apparently. Hi everybody, Suicide Prevention Saturday. Uh, my name is Brooke, if you did not know. And, um, I have to make sure that's— I'm quiet. Okay, so you're taking your dog? He just got out though when you guys got here. All right, enjoy. All right, sorry guys, we started a half an hour late because I've been out to dinner, my family's been out to dinner, no, not at the same dinner. So Suicide Prevention Saturday, why? Because 2 out of every 3 gun deaths we hear about from the CDC are suicide. And if people were really going to be serious about preventing death and violence with firearms, we would be talking about mental health all the time, not more gun laws. Hence, I was repping a DC project with my Educate Not Legislate t-shirt at our local 2A group, which is called CCDL. For those of you who are not familiar, Connecticut Citizens Defense League. One of the things that G-Webs, when I first met him, talked about is what do we need to do as Second Amendment advocates to move the wheel. So I want to tell you a little bit about our CCDL because it's our statewide Defense League against all the crazy stuff that's happening here in Connecticut. So at the dinner tonight, we recognized the legislators that were there. We talked about the current ATF ban, which I don't even know— I want to call it a ban. I guess it's a rules change, right, with the pistol brace stuff. Those of us who have firearms are probably affected with it, and here in Connecticut, we're extra special affected where a ban on a pistol brace makes us a felon if we record it, because here in Connecticut we're not allowed to have the rifles. So anyway, why am I telling you all this? Well, because I just spent 3 hours with a whole bunch of other gun people, and it's so much fun to be around gun people because gun girls are fun girls. And that was one of the many conversations we had tonight. So what does this have to do with suicide prevention? There is no one thing that any of us can do that will make a difference. But if all of us do something— because like here in Connecticut, we have a Wednesday we have to show up for testimony. So if everyone in that room— there were like 300 of us or so in that room— were to show up and write testimony saying, yes, one gun a month does not save a life, it's inconvenient for someone like me who is a competitive shooter. And I have to close something real quick. And because when I go buy a gun, I buy two because I need twins. So I have my competition gun, I have my practice gun, they are twins. I have my backup gun, right? So there's lots of legislation that are coming. Back to why does this have anything to do with suicide prevention? The more you know, the more you contribute to our society, whether it's because you have a passion for Second Amendment, whether you have a passion for helping people with mental health. One of the things we all have to remember to do is step up. And tonight, being in a room full of people who stepped up with their time and their money to come celebrate our Connecticut Citizens Defense League— I think it's our 20th No, I don't even know. Anyway, it's many anniversaries worth, makes stuff fun. All right. So I chatted with DJ when I first got on, because I'm literally sliding into first base right about now. Because we already pushed this back half an hour. DJ, would you be so kind to say hi to everybody? Because I've purposely not been looking at who's here. I know you are here. Who else should we say hi to?

Well, those who joined early include G23 out there. Good to see him. And Mike White, one of our usual listeners, is joining us as well. And then there's me, of course, and a couple others who have not self-identified out there in the text chat.

Well, you know, now that we're calling them out, maybe they will. You never know. So, all right, DJ is going to sing for us. Come on, DJ, go ahead and sing.

Now that we may have discussed some said in, in the, in the pre-show, I'm not sure that everybody needs to hear that right now. Well, and here I'm going to distract you. Fiona says, I'm here. She's out there on the stream right now.

Yeah, and Fiona's going to be spending a lot of time with me next month because we're doing our instructor course. So that is Fiona and I've spent a whole lot of time. Matter of fact, that might be another Saturday where I do a 9:30 Suicide Prevention Saturday because those are long days. So, so all joking aside, DJ and I were discussing what else we're going to talk about tonight. And I said, I don't know, I'll make it up as we go. So his idea was that we do a lightning round regarding Anything Goes. For those of you who are not musically inclined, there was a musical with the song Anything Goes. And DJ does actually know the lyrics. He doesn't have to sing them though. But since this was your idea, DJ, I'm gonna make you come on and tell everybody else, how do we do a lightning round with Anything Goes?

Well, let's see. Well, one of the things that I— on the spot, I'm not gonna— I think I might be able to come up with something. And here's, here's what it is. You know, when anything needs to go, That's kind of when, when some people are like, like on the edge or at the end of something, just like, okay, anything that can solve this problem, you know, I'll take it, you know, any ideas. And so maybe the lightning round should be ideas kind of thing. And when someone's in crisis, it isn't always the same old thing that will get to, you know, to the point where you're actually feeling like you're helping someone. And it's the same from the other side. I mean, I have lots of personal experience where I'm struggling with something, and I can tell that people are offering me their best effort, their level best still isn't getting quite to the point where it's making that click, that connection is being made. The human connection is there, but that solution can sometimes be more than difficult to achieve. So maybe lightning round with suggestions on things that might be uncommon ways to make someone bump loose from the rut that they're in. And since we started off with song, maybe I'll go with that. Now, I'm not going to sing anything to you, but I found that I can draw lots of smiles from people with music itself. Standing in a grocery line and things get a little boring, you know, every once in a while, I'll just start humming. You know, you don't have to actually use your full voice with vocals, with lyrics kind of thing. Humming is a really positive thing. It's the presence of, well, I don't know, there's a certain distraction in it for others, but it is often in my head at least the time where I am at most ease. So just, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. And I can think—

so there's that as well.

You know, which is another thing, we're using humor right now, and oftentimes I'll use humor in those kind of situations too. So maybe I like I've gotten the first and the last of the lightning portion of this, and I need to pass it to you. So like singing or humming and using humor— those are ways that people often don't think about contributing, right?

And I will absolutely say that— well, sorry, so now I'm laughing, speaking of humor, because G2/3, who is probably being very sweet and sincere with just offering to take them for a drive, And unfortunately, my snarky brain goes off the side of a cliff to finish the rest of the statement. So it depends on where you want to take them. But yeah, so reaching out to anyone to say hi, we've talked about that a million times. If someone's on your mind and you just want to do something, pick up the phone and say hi. Fiona and I, you know, I will randomly text her or call her, that sort of thing. Same with you, DJ. But I actually had a really challenging week and I was cranky, I was snarky, I was generally disagreeable for the week, and I recognized that I was being that way and I had a hard time pulling myself out of it. No matter how many things you know, whether it's music, humor, watching a funny movie, something along those lines, because sometimes you have to be the one who pulls you out. But Mike White says humming is relaxing for me. So when DJ was talking about that, part of this is meditation, because when I was a kid, 8 years old, we learned Om. And I don't know all the stuff behind it, but just that that the monks make, like, there is something about getting your entire vibration because that humming is just your whole body vibrating and it changes your state. Because when we talk about wherever you're stuck, like you were just talking about— um, no, no, Woods, you didn't miss it. I started late. We've only been here for like 9 minutes, so you did not miss a thing. Um, so the humming thing is really a physical change that you're making for your body, so that does make a huge impact. Humor. What is the funniest movie you've ever seen, DJ? Since you just muted yourself, I'll make you unmute yourself now.

The funniest movie I've ever seen? Animal House. The first time I saw it, I thought it was the most funny thing on earth.

All right.

For me, it was a little racy too, and it was a little racy too kind of thing, so it piqued my interest because I was an early adolescent. Yep, yep.

Gotcha, gotcha. For me, it was definitely, uh, Caddyshack. Um, also somewhat bawdy, a little bit on the lots of sexual pieces of it, but also just really funny. Bill Murray sort of stuff going on and the little dancing gopher.

All right, completely over the top with that. Yeah, it took— yeah, you're like giving us the musical and the dance. That's awesome. See, this is a great way to break out things. I wanted to let you know that Vanessa Kitty has, uh, joined the crew out there, and, and, uh, Woods, of course, you brought up on screen. Well, and you know, Brooke, when you said— when you— when we had the G23's comment up on the screen and you go for a drive off a cliff, you know, sometimes that kind of short sharp, shocking humor is a good way to break out of things. It's such an exaggeration. There's no way that that's where you want to drive them. But the idea that you would offer something so absurd— absurdity is a good way to do that. Humor's— a lot of humor is based on that, as a matter of fact. Go ahead.

Right. No, um, I was gonna say Vanessa Kitty's favorite part. Now the question is, Vanessa Kitty, is that your favorite funniest thing? Sorry, I'm like It's her. I want to figure out how to switch us so I can point at stuff because it's way more fun. Um, can I do that? Oh, it doesn't move me anyway. So Vanessa Kitty, do you like Animal House? Is that the funniest movie you've seen, or just specifically the donut scene? Uh, Woods brings up a good one— Airplane. Still quote it. Kids have no idea. Yeah, um, it is hysterical. Um, yeah. So throwing the pencils in the ceilings. Yeah, there, there are— there's lots of schools I know that have lots of pencils up in them. And yes, G23, something along the lines of A Long Walk Off a Short Pier. Oh my goodness, everybody, we need to have a movie weekend for Mr. Mike White. He's never seen any of those movies.

Wow, there is— there's some good laughs coming your way.

Yeah, what do you find funny? And please tell me you've seen funny movies at least, or at least movies that you think are funny. And shoot, I had some— oh, so yeah, so as far as jarring and surprising, that's one of the things my daughter and I were talking about because she and I were both having challenging weeks. Like the other day I was crying because I'd ruined her life because we were talking about something and it was, it was all challenging. I didn't really actually ruin her life, but as a mom for a moment, I felt as though I did. And the thing of it is, is like, you've been around the people who are truly depressed. Then you have those folks that say that they're depressed, but you know, they're kind of really just doing it for, dare I say, attention. One of the things that I've found works well is like, If DJ were to say to me right now, he's over here, this is all very hard to do. Oh, I'm going to go kill— no, that's a horrible joke to make. I'm all sad all the time. Like, that's all they ever do. I'm like, okay, great. What are you going to do about it? So DJ, what you were just saying about sometimes the shock is all that you need, because most people are used to if you say, oh, I'm having a really bad day. Oh, I'm so sorry for you. But when you turn that around on them and be like, hey, I'm sorry, you have like— all right, DJ, go ahead, you unmute yourself, say it. I'm having a bad day.

I'm having a bad day.

Awesome. What are you going to do about it?

Hmm. I mean, immediately it makes one think. It is, you know, and giving someone pause, I mean, just putting in that break. Someone's like so been so involved in their head, they're so like, they're morose, they're crying, anything, the emotions have now taken over the logic that may exist. And if you can make that interruption, and like we're saying, with, with— it's damn near anything. But while we're dealing with the laughter tonight, and that's such a good thing, right?

And I mean, and it's like, people want to help people and be consoling and, okay, I'm sorry, what can I do for you? And that is the worst question ever, because if I am depressed and I can't get out of my own way and you want me to be resourceful, it's not gonna work. There's just no hecking way that it's gonna work. Because if I was— oh wait, sorry, Vanessa came out with a good one. Oh my goodness, Mike White, please, for the love of God, tell me you've seen Police Academy, at least one of them. Not all of them, but at least one, because that is some funny stuff right there. Um, anyway, sorry, I digress. But yeah, so breaking, um, If I'm depressed, anxious, upset like I was this week, even though I have so many tools, if DJ had called me and said, "Dude, what are you doing?" And I said, "Oh, I'm having a rough day." And DJ simply asked the question, "Really? What are you going to do about it?" It gives me the opportunity to realize there's something I could do about it. Like, "Huh, what do I do about that?" So anyway, all right, DJ, got anything else? That's what I got.

I do. I'm gonna, I'm gonna have to go up through the text chat here. It'll take me a second to get there, but I, I will bring this up. I went out and I grabbed it. Those are— that's the proper spelling for the following: Om Mani Padme Hum. I mean, I've done that before, obviously, and just like, you know, getting in, getting your mind out of its current status, anything to make that break. And I'm glad to have this break every Saturday with you. They make us think. And so there's some appreciation, and, uh, passing it back to you.

Very cool. All right, well, I'm glad to see that Mike White hasn't entirely lived his entire life under a rock without humor, since he's at least seen parts of, uh, the Police Academy movies. So I feel better. But at the same time, like, maybe we do have to have a movie night. All right, so with that, what do I have left? I don't know. Sorry, wrong one. I was going to actually take you away for a minute. How do you interrupt your pattern? How do you interrupt your own pattern? Like I said, this week I was mad, angry, upset, and not as sweet as I could be. And it's one of those things where anything you can do to help someone else usually will help you get out of that space. And when you're stuck in that space, you have to remember to reach out, right? Which I didn't do, which I should have done, because even I can just go ahead and call— this is very hard to do backwards— the crisis line. Even if it's not that I'm suicidal, even if it's not that I need to go to an ER to get checked in or anything, I can call 211 and talk to a counselor and be like, hey, I'm stuck. What do you have for me? And just the act of calling 211 will probably get me out of my rut, as TJ referred to it before, because depression, anxiety, all of that stuff really is that rut. It's that story you've been telling yourself. 'Oh, I'm so stupid. I'm such a failure. I suck. I don't deserve this,' or 'Why is the world doing this to me? How come all of these things keep happening to me? Why can't I get ahead?' Because your brain is going to come up with answers to that thing. So when you're in that situation, you're like, 'All right, everything sucks. Awesome. What are you gonna do about it?' So I believe in the comments down below at YouTube, up above on Facebook, I put the link to one of my favorite Jocko Willink videos, which is Good. And he just talks about when something goes wrong, good, gives you more time to fix stuff. And there's a whole thing. It's, it's, it's like less than 2 minutes, but I would suggest that you click on the link and watch it if you've never seen it because it's really kind of cool. Um, let's see. Fiona was grumpy, asked her to leave me alone. No one left me alone. Yes. Um, oh, so wait, that was— oh, ready, DJ? Ready? Songs. Here we go. You can't always get what you want, and I will never—

Rolling Stones.

Yeah, because You can ask for whatever you want. You can require, wish and want that you have it, but you're always going to get what you need.

And the following line is, but if you try sometimes, you just might find, you just might find you get what you need. Yeah, you have to put the efforts have to be made. Otherwise, the rut persists. Yeah.

Um, so I see, I knew I had ideas for today. And I'm sorry that I am so behind from rushing in. But the other thing that this made me think of, and I gotta pull this up because I gotta read it to you guys, but, um, the farmer, the farmer's story. So you don't always get what you want, but you do get what you need. Um, so there is a story that I put on my wall, and I gotta read it. I'm gonna read it to you guys because the whole point of this is There are so many times in life where I am not getting what I want, like really badly not getting what I want, like breakdown, miserable, everything sucks in the world because I'm not getting what I want. And then fast forward 3, 5 years, that thing that turned me from what I thought I wanted or needed at that time, if I had gotten that, I wouldn't be where I am now. So, the farmer's story. Ready? It's story time, ladies and gentlemen. Once upon a time, there was a Chinese farmer whose horse ran away. That evening, all of his neighbors came around to commiserate. They said, we are so sorry to hear your horse has run away. This is most unfortunate. The farmer said, maybe. The next day, The horse came back bringing 7 wild horses with it, and in the evening everybody came back and said, "Oh, isn't that lucky? What a great turn of events! You now have 8 horses." The farmer again said, "Maybe." The following day, his son tried to break one of the horses, and while riding it, he was thrown and broke his leg. The neighbors then said, "Oh dear, that's too bad," and the farmer responded, "Maybe." The next day, the conscription officer came around to conscript people into the army, and they rejected his son because he had a broken leg. Again, all the neighbors came around and said, "Isn't that great?" Again, the farmer said, "Maybe." So no matter whether something is good or bad and how you feel about it, it may or may not be. And remembering that things are not always as they seem means that you can take it in stride. So give you an example: I got into the college of my dreams and my family lost the letter, so I never got— never knew I got accepted until after the fall season had started. So I was mad, upset, pissed off that I didn't get to go. I called them, they said, don't worry, you can defer for a year. So yay me, deferred for a year. Get all ready, I've got my roommate picked out, I've got my classes picked out, my books, everything else. It's August, Now, those of you who know about college, uh, it starts. So they sent my, um, my bill, tuition bill for the, the college, and my dad said, oh, sorry, not this year. So now I'm just devastated and so mad, and I'm pissed off and angry at 19, 20 years old. And it's the best thing that could have happened to me, but at the time I thought my world was going to fall down at the time. I thought everything sucked because I was not getting what I wanted. And if those things that at the time seemed like they were horrible hadn't happened, I would not be here with you. I would not have the husband I have. I would not have the children I have. And I don't know where I would be, but it wouldn't be here because I would have never met and gotten on this path. So that is my maybe story. And with that, DJ, do you have anything else other than that we've got to say something to Gunmetal Guy USA since he's the last person to show up?

Yeah, glad that GMG USA dropped into the room. Um, here is not where you will be tomorrow. Whatever, where, whatever moment you find yourself in, whatever crisis is there there's a maybe. Well, maybe this is, but it doesn't have to be. So stay motivated.

There you go. There's always another way, and we don't know what it's going to look like. All right, with that, um, sorry, I'm just noticing that Vanessa is going fishing tomorrow. So, all right, um, That is it. I'm off and running. DJ, say good night.

Good night.

Good night. We're actually going to end just like that.