Suicide Prevention Saturday - because 66% of gun deaths are suicide.

Um, sort of, kind of. So, all right, so I have two. I have Facebook and I have YouTube. I'm trying to do stuff, get all science— sciency? No, social networky. That's an official term, I'm fairly confident. Um, but I'm also curious. I've got like 3 screens going on here and I'm wondering Oh, I can. I wonder— I don't know how this is going to work exactly. So anyway, hi everyone, it is Saturday. It is Suicide Prevention Saturday. I am Brooke Cheney and I'm coming to you from Harwington at a Great Start Shooting School. And I'm trying to make it so I can do things easily, um, because life is hard. And that's always one of my, my themes, because if you were having a hard time it's good to know that everybody else thinks life is hard too. It's not just you. And I have a whole list of things. I'm gonna still try to keep it to like 10 or 15 minutes because, uh, one of the feedbacks— one piece of feedback someone gave me was, you realize people only have like 2 to 3 minutes. And I'm like, yes, but, um, if it's important enough, you'll stay, I'm guessing, is the idea. And I never know what helps and what does not help. And I don't know why my, my camera keeps readjusting. So anywho, what am I doing? Suicide Prevention Saturday, here we are, live Facebook, live on YouTube, all that fun stuff. So let's get into it then. Who would you guys like to see on here? I have some very cool friends, and, um, it was a lot of fun when I had Chris Tessier on here. Because we were working with Aiming for Zero, which for those of you who don't know, Aiming for Zero is a veteran suicide prevention program. And as a competitive shooter, we volunteer— well, we shoot matches to raise money for Aiming for Zero. And Aiming for Zero provides free resources to vets who are in need, whether it's And they've got like all sorts of stuff, like one size never fits all. Um, so there's one guy who knows, maybe I can talk him into coming back on and we could talk about it because it's a holiday season and holiday season is hard for lots of people who are dealing with loss and depression and things like that. So, um, here we go. Life is hard. All right. Said that already. That's, and marked off my checklist. 2, no one is coming to save you. Uh, one of the previous, uh, titles to one of my Saturdays is Happiness is an Inside Job. And I know when I was struggling with depression and sadness in my life, I really wanted someone to come save me. I really wanted my knight in shining armor or a mentor or someone who just kind of reached down, you know, pick me up. And take care of me. And the reality of it is, is there are tons of people out there that want to do that for you. But if you are struggling and, um, they don't know, they can't save you. No one is coming to save you. You have to reach out to them and ask for help. I know for a lot of us that's hard, but for me, when I was stuck there, I didn't realize no one was coming to save me because I'd read too many fantasy books and, you know, Black Beauty and all of that. And eventually the tanker came and saved them, but Um, go read the book. It's not Black Beauty, it's Black Stallion. My bad. So anyway, no matter where you're at, you might be someone's savior too, because I know not everyone I'm talking to has, uh, significant problems with anxiety, depression, any of that. But, um, remember that no one's coming to save you. However, depending on who I'm talking to, you might be the person who needs to go help someone. Hope that makes sense. Uh, upcoming things. The December— hold on, hold on. I have this on another screen. Yes. Saturday, December 7th, 9:00 AM to noon in Bantam, Connecticut. There is a 3-hour suicide prevention training course, which yours truly is going to go to. And for Facebooky people, I will be posting that down here in the links again. And for those of you watching on YouTube, I already have the link in the description box. So, and I don't know how you see that, so there is that. Uh, so SafeTalk training, social anxiety, holidays. Yeah, uh, who here gets invited to parties once in a while? I do. I get invited to some parties. And they can be super crazy hard because, um, not as much as it was in my 20s and 30s. I am now currently in my 40s, um, not for long though. Next year I'm gonna be 50. But anyway, social anxiety. A lot of people have social anxiety and nobody wants to talk about it, sort of like suicide, because we want to be included, we want to be invited places, but then when it comes time to actually getting dressed and getting out the door through the roof as far as distress. And I can, for those of you who have not had it, I can sort of explain it to you in my experience, which is simply this, that I have amazing friends and they would invite me to their homes and I'd be all happy that I was invited because, you know, We all like to feel included. And yet when it came time to go to the party— now these are all my good friends, not like a party full of strangers— I would get all anxious. I'd be afraid, I'd be upset, I'd be like, "Oh, will anyone talk to me? Should I even go? Do I look okay? I just don't even know." And the amount of self-doubt that just fills up your brain— well, filled filled up my brain was totally nuts. And I don't mean like, ooh, you're just a crazy person. It was just the social anxiety portion of being afraid to be around people that I actually really do know liked me. But the anxiety pops in because it's all false. And this is where we're going to talk about the God and devil real quick, simply because to me, God is love. And truth. The devil is the, the lies, the anger, the frustration that when you're in a depressive state that you have to deal with. Basically anything that is bad. So the words that were in my head, the questions that were in my head of, well, no one will care if I don't show up, I won't be missed if I'm not there, 'Oh, maybe I just don't really feel good,' and I would make excuses last minute and not show up. Or I would force myself to go, I would have an amazing time because I do love my friends, but no one ever knew how hard it was for me to actually get out the door. So if you suffer, suffer from social anxiety and talking, um, fear not, I understand, at least my version of it. And just go anyway, because people didn't invite you because they don't like you. And I don't know why I thought that. Actually, um, I had the same roommate in high school for 3 years, or 2 years, 2 years, 3 years, something, 2 years. And, uh, I don't know, at one point I'm like, yeah, I don't even know if you really like me. She's like, Brooke, I've been your roommate for 2 years, or I requested you, what are you, crazy? And the answer is, yeah, kinda. No, just crazy insecure, that would be it. It. My lack of confidence was overwhelming. So that goes on to my next, next thing. Like I said, I'm trying to get through a whole bunch of bullet points here. Lack of confidence. Again, back to the devil. The, you know, the devil on your shoulder, the angel on your shoulder sort of thing is kind of what I'm going for here, is that the devil or the bad thoughts you have are just that. They're undermining. They're not building you up. They don't help you in any way, shape, or form. Now, am I suggesting that you're perfect the way you are and you don't need room for improvement? No, of course not. However, ladies, I don't know, I really think it's a girl thing more so than a guy thing. Um, it is super hard for us to take compliments— or sorry, it's super hard for me to take compliments. And, um, And I find a lot of other women have that same issue. But when someone is building you up, you have to actually let that in. Because again, as a kid, people told me I was smart, I was so mature, I was good at whatever things that I was doing, whether it was soccer or skiing or education, all of that. But I didn't really hear that. I would be told I was pretty, and I didn't really— I heard it but I didn't feel it. So that is me holding everything out and just wallowing in pain. And that does not serve me or anyone else. So why do I tell you this? So if you're dealing with the same stuff, you can realize that you're in control of this here. You get to decide what your words are going to be. What are the godlike uplifting things that you believe that you say to yourselves? What are the negative, not-so-spectacular things that you say to yourself? Actually become aware. This is why meditation is such an awesome thing. So I just want you guys to know. Sam Harris, thanks. Oh gosh, I'm like, oh look, there's, there's comments and stuff. A little bit of an airhead. Hello Vinnie. Hi Jason, thank you. Um, So, um, Sam Harris, Anxiety. YouTube it, it's awesome. It's about anxiety and just focusing on the moment. He also has a free meditation, um, app you can put on your phone, and you get the first 5 days for free, I think. And you can just listen to those first 5 days over and over and over again, because the beauty of meditation is that it makes you aware of what you're thinking and makes you aware of what's actually really happening right now. Because in his anxiety YouTube thing, it talks about what's really happening. So if I had listened to that before I went to a party, I would have realized I was making up all this stuff in my head about people not wanting to talk to me. I was worried about stuff I was worried about as if I could tell the future, which I could not, but I drew the darkest future for me possible which did not build me up. So make sure the words that are going on in here, you're first aware of them, because you got to become aware of them before you can even evaluate if they're good or bad. Two, let's talk about physiology, because I think that was the best one I did so far. So here you go, ready? Sit up straight. Shoulders back, expand your rib cage. Do you know why? Because it allows more oxygen into your body. Do you know why that's a good thing? Because your body needs oxygen. So sitting up, shoulders back, feet planted on the floor. You know, this is sort of like a yoga thing a little bit, or tai chi, or various other things. Feet planted flat on the floor, legs uncrossed so that you are centered. Just do this. And you're gonna feel better. Because yes, I like talking to you guys, but I remembered what I'm supposed to be doing physically. I'm like, oh yeah, physiology plays a big thing into it. So unless you have a migraine and you can't be around light, if you are sad and depressed, turn some lights on, look out the window if it's daytime. If it's night, hop in the car, drive around right now because it's Christmas and there's pretty Christmas lights everywhere. So do something fun and enjoyable. And even if you're not feeling fun, enjoyable, I totally believe in the fake it till you make it thing. So physiology, pay attention to your body. Awareness is kind of my theme today, um, which I didn't know because I'm just making stuff up as I go. Oh yeah, disclaimer time. I am not a therapist. I just have gone to lots of them. I also make sure that I'm constantly and always learning more because the more that you learn, the better you feel, because it gives you confidence when you know more. So this is why there's going to be all these sorts of links, at least on Facebook, because in YouTube I think they're already there. Uh, that's why on December— what'd I tell you guys? December 7th. Yeah, yeah, December 7th, I'm gonna go to that suicide prevention talk so I can learn more. And let's see what else. Keep learning. Go visit Sam Harris. Jordan Peterson's another one. Jocko Willink. Dean Grazioso. Oh, speaking of learning, I am currently doing a 30-day challenge with Dean Grazioso, and it is itty-bitty things. Matter of fact, when I'm off this, I have to go do that. Um, it's literally a 2-minute challenge each day. You check your email, you click on the link, you watch a minute or 2-minute video, and then you fill in 1 question or maybe 2, and then you're done for the day. But it's about focus, paying attention to what you're doing, how you're doing, and so on and so forth. So that link will go down too. Oh, so be aware, physiology. Guess what else helps? Music and smells. We can smell so much more than we can taste, and smells absolutely can bring you back to whenever. For me, uh, rose. The smell of rose always reminds me of my grandma and her dressing room when I was a kid. Music depends on your mood, which music is going to be best for you. But if you're sad, do not listen to sad music. Listen to something that makes you want to get up and dance. And I don't care if you don't dance, no one is watching. Just get up and do it anyway. Um, smells. Go buy some flowers. Who does not love— well, okay, unless you have wicked bad allergies, but for the most part, all of us love walking into a florist and that smell. Um, I got plenty of oily friends out there, so find your favorite oil. Get into, um, essential oils. That helps uplift, uplift your spirits. And different oils work at different times, like Right now, one of my favorites is tangerine because it's just citrusy and it's lovely, um, and lavender for going to bed at night. But I can still put that with tangerine. So lots of smelly things. Uh, let's see what else. No matter where you are, everyone can do better and everyone can do worse. My suggestion tonight is do better. And it's sort of like, I really hated the Nike commercial that says, just do it, because, um, that's kind of obnoxious. So I'm going to be obnoxious and say, just do it. You can be a little bit better today than you were yesterday, and then the next day you can be a little bit better. Now, do we always grow every day? Heck no. Should we always try to grow every day? Yes. Yes, we can, and yes, we should. So I think no carnations though. I know carnations— oh, funerals. Yeah, well, and that's just it, is you got to be careful which smell you're going for. Um, obviously I'm trying to get you to get uplifting smell. Like, it's Christmas right now and we just got our Christmas tree, so guess what our house smells like? Our house smells like a Christmas tree. And so that's a positive one in our house. So yes, you are the only one who knows what smell is going to make you happy. You are the only one who knows what music is going to make you happy. Like, sometimes I'm thrilled listening to Beethoven, other times I really need Metallica or AC/DC, and other times I need bluegrass or whatever. So you know what you need, but the awareness is what you need to figure out. So there you have it. And I'm at 16 minutes, I'm so sorry. I'm really trying to keep these shorter. So here we go. Your ex— your Christmas tree smells like plastic because it's— so go get some essential oils that are evergreen, throw those on your plastic Christmas ministry. You can fake it, you really can. There's always a way. So, um, goodness gracious. All right, so I could probably go on all night, and I keep slowly seeing that the chat and all of that, but I don't want to keep you all here forever. And I want to thank you for tuning in as always, and thank you for giving me encouragement, and I do appreciate that. And maybe those of you who are local in Connecticut, I will see you on the 7th at that suicide prevention talk because that would be really cool. And I will be posting on the bottom of my Facebook feed, and I guess I have a couple things on YouTube because I didn't— I'm gonna put up the 30-day challenge. So, all right, I think that's everything. If I missed any comments, I apologize because for some reason it's not showing up on my phone because I don't know why. Anyway, have a great Christmas season, uh, happy almost December.. And I'm going to say congratulations, this is at least one year of doing this. Light box in the winter. Yeah, those are good too. Oh yeah, when you go shopping for, um, light bulbs in general, get actual daylight light bulbs. That helps as well. So there's— we could go on all night, and I really don't want to do that to you guys. Like I said, I do appreciate you stepping in, popping in, all that sort of stuff. And for those of you watching the replay, you can fast forward to wherever you want to go, but we're at the end now, so there's nowhere to fast forward. All right. 9 o'clock seems to be working. I can try to get here more often at 9. I, um, and it helps you not have to crawl out of bed at 11 o'clock at night when I've forgotten. So I'm going to try to keep 9 o'clock, uh, all done. And, uh, I will see you all next week. And I'm gonna post up— oh well, I've got on Facebook, I already have my pictures of my Christmas tree and all that. And if I forgot anything, let me know. And I'm gonna try to turn these all off now. Good night everybody, have a most spectacular week until I see you next week. And that's it, bye! If I can turn this off, I think I did. I