Suicide Prevention Saturday - Filling your Emotional Toolbox

Just go. Second. Oh. Oh man. Hi, how are you?

I'm doing well, how are you tonight?

All right, well, I've been up since 3:50 this morning, and I was up a little earlier than that, but that's when I finally looked at my phone because I'm lying there wide awake thinking it was time to go, and, uh, 3:50 was a little bit early this morning. So anyhow, hi everybody, uh, it is Suicide Prevention Saturday and I'm kicking DJ out. But, um, I've been at the Women's Expo in Bridgeport, Connecticut all of today talking to people about education. And I will tell you, in the row we— across from— let's see, next to my booth was a lawn— a gutter guy. Across from my booth was a psychic. And the other part across from me was, if you want basketball pancakes They are little trays that have your favorite basketball players' numbers and jerseys and stuff. I don't know. But anyway, I was probably the most popular booth in my entire row, and there was clothing and all sorts of stuff. So that's always fun to do something and be well received. So good evening, everybody. Thank you for tuning in for Suicide Prevention Saturday. Because why? Because 2 out of every 3 deaths the CDC talks about are suicides. And if we want to save lives, we need to talk about mental health, which I got to do today as well because I've got my Walk the Talk America bands out there. I had little cards, I had the suicide prevention pamphlets from NSSF and American— who are those people? These people, American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. Yes, those people. So gave information out on that. DC Project also had the new DC assistant Director of Connecticut with me in the morning, so that was fun. So anyway, uh, today what are we talking about? We are talking about building our emotional toolbox. Everyone's toolbox is unique, just like a real mechanic, right? The tools I have in my box may or may not work for you, but I'm going to share them with you anyway because education is the key to success. No matter what we're talking about, whether it's actually plumbing— because I just came from watching the Mario Brothers movie with my kids— or fixing cars or working on heavy machinery or whatever it might be in your life, fixing kids. And Mike White, is he out there? I don't know. But anyway, toolboxes, we all have them. Some are a little emptier and sparser than others. I've been working on myself with tools from people like Tony Robbins. So I am going to drop a link for that because I'm going to try to drop them as I find them or as I talk about them. And I see Fiona is out there asking about the Women's Expo, so I think I answered that even though I didn't see the question until just now. Um, so Tony Robbins, uh, in my 20s, we were in college. My husband— like, the most expensive gift I'd ever gotten was my husband bought me a 30-day CD set of Personal Power from Tony Robbins. And it was just the craziest gift I'd ever gotten because as a college kid, something that cost like $250 back in 1991, '92, somewhere in there, was a lot of money. And it was one of those things I'd seen the infomercials forever. So back then, I started building my, my toolbox. So consistency, learning new tips and tricks that work for you. Hey, oh man, I'm sorry, I just have to say hi to Mario. I do love seeing my Mario. He is not in the office today. Wait, it is Saturday. Maybe he shouldn't be in the factory. I have no idea. For those of you who have not, by all means, check out Mario's latest update. Or latest update I saw was him walking around his, his happy place, which is work and a factory. Let's see. So Fiona— oh gosh, it went too fast. Miss Fiona is going to come to the Women's Expo tomorrow and she's going to be helping me out from 11 to 3. I will also have my daughter there with me. She's going to be there all day because she's going to help me clean up after 3 o'clock. So I saw CNT here and over at the Second Amendment Foundation, which is what that is from. And who am I missing? Oh, G-Webs just showed up. So, and he was just over at the Second Amendment Foundation stuff too. I know Krabby Also, and of course DJ is here, but y'all got to see DJ on the screen for a whole split second before I kicked him out to try not to get all, um, whatever that's called, surprised. All right, uh, now DJ, you can take yourself down because I already went to a different window. But, um, so what else am I doing? All right, building our tool set. So I started building my tool set back in 1991. And listening to Tony Robbins talk about personal power. And one of the first things I had to do was take those 30 days and actually listen to the DVDs, listen to the CDs for every day for those 30 days, and then do the things that they were, they were saying. And did I do all of it? No. Was I consistent? No. Could I still run through it again and learn something? I Absolutely. But for you, you have to find something that makes sense for you. And then I just realized by looking at, um, my list here that I have for y'all, I realize that it wasn't 1991 that I started. When I was in high school, I read this other book called The Greatest Salesman in the World by Og Mandino, and that was another book that was about habits and mindset. What it means to be consistent in what you're putting in here and the things that you say. There, The Greatest Salesman in the World by Og Mandino. The thing about that is there's 10 scrolls within the book, and each one of the scrolls you read first thing in the morning, at lunchtime, and then at nighttime you read it out loud. So my husband has actually heard these scrolls at least a couple times. And so it's, it's the little things. Am I successful? Do I get through all of it? No, I don't, but these are little things that plant the seeds. If you've been here for a while, which most of you have, thank you very much. Um, sorry, this cracks me up, and laughing is always good. Um, yes, Tony Robbins has fabulous hair and giant teeth, and the dude is really large. Um, I've worked at events with him and, uh, Yeah, he's a big guy. So we plant the seeds. I listen to someone like Tony Robbins who tells me how to be a better person or how to train my brain to think differently so that I understand the difference between— if I say, why does my life suck? Why am I so stupid? I will get those answers. If I instead say, how, how can I enjoy the process? How can I do something different? How can I improve my life? I will also get the answers. But the first step of that is paying attention to what I'm actually saying. Because you and I, the person that we talk to the most all day long, every day, is ourselves. That little voice in here, that is the thing that you have to start becoming aware of, because it just happens all day long. Whatever your habits are, some of us are aware of them, some of us are not. Or you might catch yourself with little things, but that why versus how, so huge. Many people are victim mentality, and that's, oh, why me? Why does all this horrible things happen to me? It's like, if that's what you're looking for, that is what you will find. And the how empowers you. The how gives you a choice and gives you power to realize that you can, you can find a way. So, um, that's just an example of where studying with Tony Robbins has helped me. Now, there are other people that also have blessed my life with their free education that is out there. Um, you guys may or may not have heard me talk about Ed Mylett in the past. Last year he released a book called The Power of One More, and it just talks about how when you get somewhere go ahead and do one more thing. Whether it's you're at the gym, you're doing a set of 10, you get to the end, you've gotten to where you're supposed to be, and you just do number 11. Um, Goggins, uh, I didn't pull him up yet, but, um, that is another— like, Mario, you must know Goggins. Well, you not like know, know, um, but, uh, wow, I can't even think Goggins like first name, and I, uh, I cannot find anything because apparently Mr. Goggins does not have a website of his very own. Um, but I'll drop a link for at least one of videos. Um, he's written a book also. He was a really large dude— like, when I say large, I mean overweight and fat— and he'll talk about that, and he will talk about how he's determined to to just keep going. And again, back to what our mental toolbox is. Oh, things like when you fall down, it doesn't matter how many times you fall down as long as you get up one more time. Um, so, all right, but everything he says is true. Uh, I don't know if you're talking about Goggins, but I think you are. But yeah, um, he swears a lot I'm not a big fan of swearing. Um, if BBQ's out there, you know, peanut butter and jelly is one of my favorite things. Uh, it is totally get up and do one more along the same lines. Now here's the thing, my size is not your size. Just because these people help does not mean they're going to be the right tools for you to learn from, but you have to at least start looking. And maybe I'm your tool for right now. That sounds horrible, um, but I mean, just the simple difference of why versus how, it can be something that you can take home and unpack a little bit more. And that are just a couple ideas that I have for you for how to build your toolbox, because we all need new tools. And here's the funny thing, Again, I've been working on this for a really long time, and there are times when you want a new shiny tool, and you will go try to find a new shiny tool, only to find out that really you just have to reach in the back of your toolbox and pull out one of those old rusty ones and wipe it down and grease it up and make it shiny again, because there is nothing new on this earth. You've probably been told lots of things in your life that are how to do things better. I think one of the most interesting things I learned last night, or last night, last week when I was doing the McConaughey training, Road Trip, I think that's what it's called. He had a book out last year or 2 years ago, it's called Greenlights. I read it last year and so I went to a training with him, the free training. If you're on Facebook, you would have seen my invite to go. But here's the thing, so many of us don't believe that we are enough. And I know I've had this conversation with my husband because he said to me, it's like, Brooke, you're so busy, you're so busy, it feels like you're running away from stuff. And I think a lot of things are true, like you're running towards something. But in the Makanae training, they were talking about how So many people don't feel like they're enough, but the truth is they have never defined enough, so they can never be enough. So they're constantly on the hamster wheel of life thinking they have to do more, have to do more. Um, so that is, that is one of those things. All right, so Crabby Turtle, my friend, what thing do you want me to share? Because you know how this lags from what I said to when I see your stuff. So which thing do you want shared? Um, the McConaughey training or something else? So anyway, so these are the things you gotta look and you gotta find and you gotta let go and know that there's always a better version of you out there for you to find. But at the same time, make sure you're happy with who you are right now. None of us are perfect. And we always have things that we can improve on. However, we can be content and we can be filled with joy and happiness. And why does it always come back to bashing 9mm? Why? I just don't understand..45 is the only caliber that real men carry. I don't know if that's really true or not, but yes. So anyway, These are the things our toolbox needs to be filled. Sometimes our toolbox just needs to be oiled or maintained a little bit or actually opened up. Oh, look, it is Mr. Barbecue. So that means he was here. I'm assuming you heard me say peanut butter and jelly either. Oh, Mr. Barbecue, I'm going to throw you under the bus right now. He's going to start saying fiddlesticks instead of other F words because that's one of his new things that he and I are working on together. So that's my plan, Stan. Um, is that the one about make your bed, Mario? I know I have a wonderful one that I love about just getting up and the one thing you do every day is make your bed. And the short version is he talks about if you make your bed, uh, when you— before you leave, no matter what kind of day you have, A, you've already created and done something at the beginning of the day, and B, whether you have a good day or a bad day, you come home to a bed that is already made. Oh, cool. Yes. So see, Mario and I, we're vibing even though I'm East Coast, he's West Coast. It's all good. So, all right, DJ, you said something, you made noises. What do you want to say?

Well, I was about to break in there. It's when you said that you and Barbecue were going to cut down on the language thing. And what occurred to me was Barbecue cutting down on curse words. That's a crock of cheese.

You never know. If you don't try, you don't know. And just because you try doesn't mean you're going to be successful. Again, back with that falling down. It's just a matter of how many times you get back up. Um, so yeah, but the other thing is sharing with people. Like, when you're trying to make a change, telling people you're trying to make a change is making you vulnerable, but it also is going to give you some accountability as well. So that's why I figured right here on YouTube and Facebook, on the interwebs, I just throw him right under the bus because I can. And he didn't say I couldn't because I didn't ask, so there's that.

Well, there's a positivity and a possibility bonus if you do things like start out that day with success with the, you know, the making of the bed. You know, another thing that occurred to me while you were speaking was, you You know, you can complete the verse if you so choose, but it's seek and you shall. Well, you have to go see. So if you don't look, you cannot find something. So just go find something. It can be nearly anything. If you can anchor into any piece of positivity, do it. And for example, just in this chat now, you putting out there that you're going to try, you know, you guys are going to feather back the language a little bit. Well, that puts that out into the universe, so to speak., it can only gain energy. And therefore, in my eyes and view, success because of it.

Exactly. Where your focus goes, the mind— where you focus on, what you focus on, you get more of. My dad was actually a race car driver. And Tony Robbins actually talks about race car driving and learning how to do it because he's also a perpetual, not teacher, but also student. And so in race training and driving, defensive driving, all of that, the thing you are taught is focus on what you want. And the reality of it is, is that people hit the wall because they're looking at the wall, because they're looking at what they want to avoid versus paying attention to the thing they actually want. And so when you're driving and your car is spinning out, you're looking at the wall to try to avoid it, which actually brings you into it. Whereas when you learn defensive driving, you look at the road and you make sure you're staying focused on your road because your brain is an amazing, um, has the amazing ability to help you focus and go where you're, where you're meant to go. But again, we are often not aware of what our brain is doing because it's just what it always does. So that's kind of that.

It's a practice skill to be able to pull in what it is that that focus should be. Often the distractions, they're distractions, right? They get us.

Squirrel. Yes. And my favorite are sparkly squirrels because I like sparkles a lot. And anything that moves. And this is the other thing, our survival techniques are if it moves, we have to check it out and verify it's not going to kill us. That's what our evolution has done to us. Is that if it moves, we got to see. And that thought in your head, whether it's good or bad, is a movement in your brain, and you pay attention to it. And sometimes you're aware that you're paying attention to it, and sometimes you are not.

So, um, to me, that's— that exemplifies situational awareness as well. It really does. If you check the scene and you're constantly aware of what it is that's around you, it's a lot more even though it might be a frantic activity as you bring in all the new things to process, it means that you have an awareness above what the situation is right in front of your face. So, you know, keeping that focus sometimes could be an issue for me too.

Yeah, there's a— what is it? It's when nothing is moving, you can pay attention. Once— as soon as something moves, you have to pay attention. But it's like when we're in training, like when we do self-defense training, What happens is I'm up on target, I shoot whatever it is I'm shooting, I come back down. And in so many training classes, people just turn their head left and right to, you know, check their 360, right? This is what we're taught in self-defense. And when I had my first self-defense class with Tatiana Whitlock, she did something to make you more aware. She's like tell me what you saw. And it's so funny, so I now do that with my students. If I see them doing this just automatically, I'm like, what did you see? Were there any flowers? Were there twigs broken? What did you see? Because we do stuff just automatically without actually taking the mental note of what am I seeing, what did I notice. And so this is again back to when we're talking to ourselves what are we saying to ourselves? Are we saying, good job, I got out of bed today? Or are we saying, oh my gosh, I only did 100 things today, I should have done 105? I know that can be my thing from time to time. So we're good at beating ourselves up, and that's why the self-growth and putting more tools in our toolbox is just so much, so much needed. So Mario put up some other ones. Denzel Washington, um, God first, one of my favorites. So yeah, so I did Mary Kay for 10 years and we had the top 3: God first, family second, career third. And when you put things in order, it does make your life better. Are we always perfect Christians? No. Or whatever your faith is. We are always here to learn and be better than we were the day before. I don't have to be the best person in the world, I just have to try to be a little better than I was yesterday. And again, back to Tony Robbins, because I've dealt with him for the longest, he calls that CANI. It's constant, it's C-A-N-I, and it's constant and never-ending improvement. And It's to be happy with who you are, be content with working on who you are, understanding you are enough. And yeah, you should kind of define what enough is so you can actually truly believe that, because I know no matter how many compliments you get, no matter how much somebody tells you they love you, unless you can truly love yourself and understand why you are worthy to breathe the next piece of air that you're breathing in and having that next thought, you are not going to believe it. So people can tell you that you're pretty, you're strong, you're graceful, you're kind, whatever compliments are the people here give you. A, you have to actually hear them. B, you have to have an open heart to allow that to actually sink in and believe that in yourself. And, you know, there's more alphabet letters, but I don't have to go there. So anyway, we do all of that. Um, you might as well be on vacation. Thanks, Pete, you're so kind. Uh, yeah, no, I try not to count actually, but I, I find back to that McConaughey thing where it's like so many people have never defined enough but they feel like they are not enough, but they don't have a definition of enough. So, um, actually most of us do at least 100 things every day and we don't realize it, right? That alarm clock goes off, you wake up, that's a thing. You did something, you woke up. Some people do not wake up today, um, they did not. Last night was their last day on Earth. So that's just one, you woke up. Two, you put your feet on the ground. 3, probably walk to the bathroom. At least that's what most of us do. And that's without ever thinking about the fact that you're actually doing anything. You got dressed, you might have brushed your teeth, you might have brushed your hair. Poof, there's 5 things within the first 5 or 10 minutes that you are awake. So we do 100 things or more. We tend to take for granted all of the stuff that we actually do. I was at a women's Christian retreat, and I just remember this story that I read. And this, it's from this woman's perspective about she wakes up, she opens her eyes, she puts her feet on the floor, she walks to the bathroom, she brushes her teeth, takes her shower, gets dressed. Well, at the end of the story, you find out that no, she did not do any of that because she's paralyzed in a wheelchair. And that's how easy it is for us to forget how, what a blessing it is that our feet are touching the the floor each day. What a blessing it is that we get to take that next breath just right now. So, so many things. So I could sleep, I could sleep, see, I'm like, maybe this is why it's hard to sleep. So I don't know, actually, I heard, I read, what is it, when your blood sugar drops is one of the most common reasons why you wake up in the middle of the night. So that's just one of the many things. Oh, let's see. When we do situational awareness, I notice everything. I had no choice. You have a bullet coming out of a window or a door. Yeah. So, because Mario is an actual vet who's seen actual combat, his left and right is like a real left and right. Um, you know, we talk about our tactical Timmies from time to time who just do this as if. Um, and so it's again being aware. It's like Mari has big reasons to be aware because for real. And yes, people like Barbecue have very important abilities such as scratching his butt or the dog's butt, you know, that's a thing too. Taking care of your pets, you just feed them and water them every day and pet them and you don't think anything of it because it's just part of your day, but it's something you did. So, uh, and who got outed? I I don't know. Oh, barbecue. Yes, yes, he did. So anyway, that is it. That is my toolbox, uh, conversation for today. There's always more. There are so many different ways, um, to find new tools for you. The tools that I use may be helpful to you. You will probably find tools that are even better for you. Sam Harris is another one. Um, that is— oops, I hit the wrong thing. And that's just about being present. Uh, I just put up all of May's shows, and one of the things we're going to talk about is the Zen on the Range, the importance of actually being present. So if y'all want to watch— oops, that didn't work. Um, if you guys want to check out the Sam Harris thing— oh, look at that! I have Mr. Lathrop over on the Facebook side. So, um, late, but you know, it's nice to have you anyway. Um, oh, and he's got a picture of his beautiful wife because that's always a good thing. So I hope she's doing well. All right, squirrel, right? Yeah, that is life. All right, Mr. DJ, sir, with that— yes, ma'am— a fancy, uh, calm way to tie this all back together, put a little bow on it so I don't just like turn off the and broadcast?

Well, I, I'm going to take away a reminder today to be present in the moment, to, uh, thank myself, um, and those before me for all the benefits and blessings that I have. And, uh, one of the blessings that I experienced tonight was the gathering of people for this video with you. So this live broadcast was also attended by C&T Designs and Arms, Crabby Turtle, Fiona was out there, so was Mario Mosin, Gun Websites checking in, so is Ozzy Osbourne. I've got Guns and Barbecue out there. Hey, Pennsylvania! Vanessa Kitty also in the room. Uh, Mike White. And joining us on the Facebook side, Paul Lather was in the room. It was a great night.

I think this might be his first time here. I'm not sure. I'm sure he watches the replay though, of course. Oh, but with that, I have a thank you card that I did kind of want to talk about a wee bit just before we go go. Um, yeah, ooh, something shiny. Exactly, there's always something shiny. So I have a friend who I just randomly brought flowers to and wrote a little note on, you know, the flower card that says, you are worthy, you deserve happiness, uh, something along those lines. And I'm like, and this is small enough for you to put in your wallet so you can bring it with you whenever you need to be reminded of these things. And I just talked about how she's sweet and kind and that sort of thing. So she sent me a thank you card, and I'm— all right, I'm gonna sit up straight. I'm gonna try to look up so I can actually read this without crying because, you know, I'm such an emotional mess. But it says, thank you, thank you, thank you so very much for the beautiful flowers. I was in a very painful and dark place that day. I have no— it says, you have no idea how much it meant to me. And above all, the card was so thoughtful. It's in my wallet permanently. You're an angel. Thank you. So I did not give my friend flowers because I knew anything was wrong with her. I did not write the card. I know she's had challenges in her life, but it was just a random act of kindness. So here is my thing: do random acts of kindness. No, you may not get a thank you card, but you never know what that one little thing may be where you impacted somebody else's life in a positive manner. So with that, I'm going to encourage you all to take random acts of kindness because it makes you feel better, and it may or may not make a difference in the person's life. You never know, but you might get a thank you card someday. It's hard to say. Ah, yes, so absolutely random acts of kindness, and yes, it's awesome. Like I said, you're not always going to get a thank you card, but when you do, it feels kind of nice. And knowing sometimes your timing is going to be that great, so But most of the time you're not going to hear about it. All right, so with that, we're at a full half an hour. I'm gonna go. I have to get up and go back to the Women's Expo tomorrow. I'll see Fiona there tomorrow morning. And you all have a great week. And I put up all of May's shows, so by all means hit the buttons that give you reminders that it's coming up. And, uh, I will do my best to be safe and I will continue spreading the love. All right, see y'all next week, or at least most of you. Thanks for coming.