Suicide Prevention Saturday - Happy New Year's Touch Stone

Good evening, Vietnam. No, just kidding. Hi, everybody. Um, what day is this? It is Saturday. And what are we doing? Oh, it's Suicide French on Saturday. And why isn't my camera on? Well, because I'm in a hotel and I'm walking all over the hotel and, um, I don't want to give you the Blair Witch thing. So anyway, happy almost New Year, post-Christmas, all of those things to y'all. Uh, let's see, Michael Dunn is out there, Saria Fan, who is a dude, not a girl. Hi, Misty Miss Wayne. Oh my goodness, that's hard to say. And I don't know if Mr. Mike White came back or not, but he was here 5 hours early, so I figured that deserves a shout out. So anyway, Suicide Friends Saturday on the road. I'm on my phone and I'll warn you all now, it's always a possibility that I will hit something and DJ will have to take over and finish the show for me, but he's got a good story for y'all tonight, so there is that. Um, my daughter and I have been traipsing all over New England and New York and Pennsylvania, and so I hope y'all have had time to spend time with friends and family over this holiday season. And, uh, thank you, Misty. I will just say Misty because that's way easier. Hey, it's Gwebs! Third, third thumbs up. Happy 2024. Yes. Oh, and Gun Websites, I will actually get to hopefully maybe meet you at SHOT Show this year. I am not sure. Um, all right, so yes, I should make DJ do the roll call because I'm currently almost choking on the piece of, uh, meatloaf I tried to eat before this all started. Anyway, all right, so holidays, awesome, spectacular, or miserable and painful depending on who you are. Um, I hope everyone could find the joy in their holidays. Starting the new year, what does everybody do? Oh well, they say, ooh, I'm gonna make this year the best year ever. And do we do a good job of that? Usually for about a week or two, maybe three. So I don't know, I considered doing the show today on how to keep your promises to yourself, but I figure maybe by the end of February I'll try that one instead. So, um, so tonight, Nadia, what was the— what was the title? Um, Variety, or what— which was it? Don't trap yourself, meaning be flexible. Yeah, okay. Yeah, so I have a co-host sort of-ish, um, who just got her chipotle, so she's super happy that she's currently eating. So Anyway, where are we now? Pennsylvania. I know we're in Pennsylvania, but you remember what? Um, oh, Fiona says hi, Nadia. I don't know if they can hear you from all the way over there, but I was trying to get away from your tinfoil. So anyway, all right, so flexibility, don't pin yourself in, all of that. So why is that our theme? Well, because that is what we have been doing since Thursday. My dearest sweet daughter is working on her permit, and she needs to get 20— sorry, she needs to get 40 hours of drive time. And as of Christmas, she had 1— 4. 4. Sorry.

Uh-uh.

Um, and so she had 4 hours. So the goal was Thursday through Saturday, Sunday, we're gonna do as much driving as we could so that she could get a couple hours on there. So first thing we knew we're doing for sure was go 4 hours north to see the grandma. And from there it was kind of, let's see where we go. So from New Hampshire— from Connecticut to New Hampshire, we then decided to go west. And so we ended up in Niagara Falls on Friday, and then we drove straight down to Pennsylvania. We saw barbecue. Yesterday and this morning and brought him to a wrestling match. And then I have another friend in Pennsylvania who drove across and we stopped there and they're like, oh, where are you going next? We're like, we're not sure. And so we then went to— we happened to see a sign for Punxsutawney Phil. So we ended up in Punxsutawney and got to see the Punxsutawney Phil and his girlfriend, apparently. And we went to Knob Creek and all that. So anyway, what is the point of all this besides me rambling on and on? Is that at each stop, we really didn't know for sure which way we were going. We gave ourselves options. At one point when we got to New Hampshire, I thought, well, we could go north and go to Canada, or you could go east and go to Maine, or we could go west and go to New York. We were never going to go backwards all the way straight down to our town, but it was just like, so our first stop, we decided west. Our second stop, hmm, We kind of knew we're going to go see barbecue, so it was whatever was on the way. So the flexibility in our lives and everyone we've told the story to so far is like, wow, that's a great way to take a trip. And it's been a lot of fun because we were driving towards the East Coast again today. We're like, we could go see the Liberty Bell, but Nadia and I have decided that no, we're ready to go home. So we're home for most of the day on New Year's Eve. So that is our flexibility model as far as wait and see, do what suits you for the moment and give yourself all of that wiggle room so you can have fun. All right, because I'm on my phone, I can't not look at your comments. So I will answer the question. Oh, wait a second. Let's, let's, oh, I almost forgot. So you know what yesterday was, dude? I'm just calling you out right now. Everybody say happy birthday, DJ, because DJ is going to pop on and not only is going to say hi to all of y'all, but he's going to tell you his birthday story with his mom.

Right on. Well, thanks for that. I'm glad to have everybody join us here on another Saturday night. I'm keeping track of the folks that are in and I'll make sure to reference you. When you do, if you're new. And on the way out the door this evening, glad to be joining somebody who's out on the road. Jack Kerouac, one of my favorite books from the Beat Generation, and you guys are out there experiencing it turn by turn. How envious I am of you, as well as the opportunity to meet friends far flung from where you are, and to be experiencing that with your daughter before she's about to make those kind of journeys into her own individual life and take things on the road.

The clock is certainly ticking on how often she's actually going to bring me with her on any of these road trips. Once she gets her license officially, this is all over, man.

Hey, I don't think you should have any other expectation than the opportunity to explore and have adventures on one's own in those early, you know, late teenage years and 20s and on through the rest of your life. Great stuff that's out there. Puck Satani, Phil, are you crazy? I've never even thought about visiting that guy, but the opportunity you had to join others and barbecue What a wonderful thing in the holidays betwixt the New Year and Christmas itself. Also, betwixt baby Jesus and baby New Year is baby DJ. Yesterday, actually, was my birthday, and I was able to celebrate that with my mother today. So, touchstones are important things in our lives. And I think for most of us, our parents, our siblings, our family really create some of those benchmarks for the rest of our lives. Certainly, the example that my mother has led is one that I don't have that easy a time keeping, but certainly the finer portions of it have rubbed off on me more than just a little. So one of those reference points that I've always had when it comes to my birthday and its celebration is my mother's preparation of my maternal grandmother's chocolate cake recipe. So if you really wanna know what the secret is to this thing that always has people turning their heads a little bit and saying, What did you add to this kind of thing? Hit me on Instagram. I'll hook you up on that. Chocolate cake is also almost a universal thing. It has one of those appeals that few people would turn it down. Well, that's part of how I celebrate. So, it's not just the family part of the celebration, but also the fact that my family is dwindling. We're a really small family. I had one brother, now deceased, and so, it was just my mother and I. Now, my father lives in a different city, but he and I don't see each other that often. And this year, That was something we weren't able to do. Mom has some eccentric aspects to her personality as well as I do. Maybe that was also rubbing off between the generations. She always makes sure that she's able to bring this cake to whatever restaurant it is that we celebrate. And that's the kind of politeness and consideration that my mom has for almost everything that she does. You want to talk about a hard act to follow. Not only can I not make the cake, but I don't ask permission for a lot of things. So, Lest you think that all of this is going to be about my mom and chocolate cake, it's about sharing. We share memories of my brother because he's not here to share new memories with us. That's always an important thing for us to do. And I really do like, now that my mom's memory has started to fade a little bit from what 1977 was all about when it came to her kids, she remembers big things, but I like to add some of those small observations, things that I remember. Tonight, one of the things I shared is a particular scene. I see Misty Mrs. out there. Ron might be listening as well. Little thing about a movie that has a red Ryder BB gun in it. There is one part of one particular scene early on in the movie that my younger brother used to imitate. It's when the elf is pulling the kids up the stairs towards Santa, and she says, like kind of an aggressive, with a mean face, "Come on!" Mom never knew that that was one of my brother's favorite lines. Besides my sharing it with you tonight, maybe nobody else will know about that little individual part of a personality now past. So I'm glad to bring that kind of light, and I'm glad to bring that kind of— what's life and light? I'm sorry, life and light. Pardon the twist of the tongue. And I like to share these things. So the cake is a really special thing. It comes to me once, you know, once a year, and it is from a recipe that is not reproduced by anybody else on the planet. Mom's the single one. I always make sure that my server gets a slice, and it's a generous slice. We go like 3, 4 inches on the back for this one because I want them to be able to— and if I ask them if they have family members, I cut another couple of smaller slices for them to take for their family. Our server tonight was having an incredibly difficult time. Her name was Soro, and she actually was on the verge of tears when she got to our table. And so I took a moment. This is the kind of thing that I really like to do. Forget about my birthday, forget about the extra celebration. I had to chance to make a contact with someone who was in such stress and in the middle of a work shift where they are in service to others who are expecting in the holiday rush that everything arrive on time by their estimates and exactly as they wish it. Now, we've all been to restaurants, or likely all of us have been to a restaurant, had our order goofed a little bit kind of thing. How did you treat the server? Were you unhappy?

Oh no, I always give them extra tips. Like when they're having really crappy days and they're giving me crappy service, I totally like double or triple their tip. And sometimes I even do the just tip them the however much the check was. So that's totally the way to go. But yes, having been in the service industry as well. So you didn't tell me this part of the story, dude. You told me this story about the cake and the sharing, not like the 10 other things you've been going on about. So get to the story you told me already, would you?

All right, I'll cut it quick. I gave this server a piece of cake. It helped to make her day, it helped to make her evening. Actually, I will have people in service industry like that who need a moment but can't take one. I'll create one for them. A bit like the closing that I offer these days. If you're walking about your day-to-day life, you don't see a smile, make one. It'll be returned kind of thing. I told her she was going to stand there for the next 60 or so seconds with no other thing to think about than breathing. I said, I could ask you a couple of dumbass questions about the menu right now, but I'm not gonna. I'm just going to talk, and if you don't want to listen and zone out, that's fine. Grab your breath, grab some energy, refocus. It's almost— and I started to go into, it's almost New Year's, everything gets to change at the end of this shift and at the end of the year in just a couple of days. You will make it. I rolled tears along with her. So, I'm sitting at the table with my mother for my birthday celebration. We haven't even put in our order. And I had the opportunity to help somebody slow down, take account of their situation, and have another human being to say, hey, I am here and I see you. The cake at the end was just kind of a bonus. She did stop by the table and thank me a couple of different times. Now, one of the things that will shift away from that, I promise, and we'll get on to the last one about I've made these observations about sharing and about paying attention to others. There was another celebration in the dining room this evening. There are 20-something people gathered around a series of tables that are pushed together. I'm DJ, right? What am I going to do? I'm going to walk a piece of cake over to that person. So, I walked over and I just like, I did the DJ voice and I said, "Who's the birthday?" And this woman identified herself and I sat the cake down, I gave her a quick little, you know, explanation like I gave you too long. And I said, did you hear my voice singing happy birthday? Because anytime I'm in a restaurant, somebody else is singing happy birthday, I just jump in. You know, I like to sing. And a couple of people who had been at that table, she thanked me, everybody was like, oh, that's so cool, that's sweet. You know, people are like, you know, praising me on my way back to my own table. And a few people stopped by the table and said, man, that was good cake. I'm like, she shared? They said, "Yeah." So, look what happened there. I mean, listen to what happened there. And please, thank you for your patience and indulgence as I ramble on about this, but she shared that cake after I shared with her. There were people who were able to experience Grandma Brown's cake and had smiles on their faces because of it. And you know what? Without a lot of extra pride or pomp or anything, I did that. But all I did was create the opportunity for people to experience something other than drudgery, distraction, annoyance, the bustle, the hustle, and everything else. Breathe. Take a minute if you need to. Take a minute. So, light, life, hope, smiles, sharing— if you're able to do that at any point in your day, do it. And that's about that, Brooke. Happy birthday to me.

There you go. Happy birthday. Oh, are you gonna tell everybody how old you are now too?

Um, 37. Wait, 23. Uh, wait a second. No, I'm, I'm somewhere— oh, I'm somewhere in the 50s. Yeah, I'm somewhere in the 50s.

Oh, all right. Yeah, well, you act like you're 18. What? I'm sorry. Um, um, all right, so thank you for all of that. I hope you all like that. But yeah, see, I can't do anything with this because I'm on the phone. So that's also why I'm just a little bunny right now. So while DJ was talking, I actually did pay attention to the comments. So I am now going to get caught up, but I missed the part where Fiona did say hi, Nadia, but then she's going to do more range time. And Fiona, my sweet, you can also do some more teaching January 13th. Hint, hint, nudge, nudge. Uh, Michael Dunn asked me whether or not my daughter shoots as well, and the answer is she knows how to shoot. Um, she does not like it as much as the rest of us. She doesn't compete like my son does, but she understands that she will be getting her permit when she turns 21 because here in Connecticut you can only have a taser if you have a permit. Oh, I've still yet to get my temps. I don't know what temps are. I mean, are you talking about your her, uh, driving permit, Surya fan? Um, because I'm only a little bit— best friend lives in Harleysville. Where the heck are we? I forget what town we're in right now, although I should know. Hold on, give me a second, I'll tell you where we are and then you can tell me where we are. We are in Moosic, Pennsylvania. So anyway, that is where we're off to. And then everybody said happy birthday to DJ on his 18th, 13th birthday, or whatever it happens to be. And Mike White did come back after 5 hours. Uh, she Fires, hello sweetheart. I am totally looking forward to seeing you at SHOT Show. Gotta figure out how to connect. Who else here is gonna be at SHOT Show? Speaking of sharing and caring, I'm actually looking forward to seeing more of you. Hello Chris from the 740. And I think I— oh, G23, how are you hun? And I think I finally caught up, I think, I don't know. Oh, Michael Dunn, one guy, one night. Oh, you were talking about your daughter being a waitress, a server, bartender, all of that good stuff. Um, um, wow, so she's at a casino. Very cool. All right, so Chris from the 740 will be at Shot. That's cool. And I know for a fact that She Fires is going to be there because we already talked about that. But anyway, Suicide Prevention Saturday. So what is it? What did you learn from DJ's story? It doesn't take much, right? It can take a moment. It can take a, a like, like he was saying, take a beat. It's like, just take a deep breath, one of those things. And as far as Nadia and I driving all over the countryside, not really knowing where we're going, uh, having that flexibility in your life where it's like normally they would give a single piece out to their server, then they shared it with the table next to them and all of that, and being aware of how others are feeling. And here's the funniest, oddest thing I think about anxiety and depression that most of us don't realize is that if we are struggling with it at that moment, moment in time, the best thing we can possibly do is help someone else out. Because if you can get out of your own head for a moment and help somebody else out, then when you come back to your head, all of a sudden things aren't as bad. Oh yeah. And one of the Nadi and I have come up with some sayings over this trip so far, and, uh, the most recent one we came up with was, "And nobody died," because she had a sort of close call on the highway, and it was scary, and it was not fun in the darkness of the Pennsylvania highway, in the dark, in the rain. And sometimes you have to remind yourself, "And nobody died." So, um, I am looking for— oh, sorry, Kristen 740 said he'll be at SHOT Show, and Gun Websites is 80% sure that he's going to be there. Very cool. All right, Nadia, anything else? Turn around, we'll get shot. Oh yes. So we're, we're— Nadia wants us— so we were going to Punxsutawney Phil, and she's navigating and I'm driving at this point. And we're not sure where to turn, and there's this really not quite a road but maybe a road, and it might be where we were supposed to turn but we weren't sure. And she made me turn around, go back to it, and I'm like, I start going down, or I just before I turn, she's like, well, we'll go down it and either we'll get shot or we'll get to turn around. And so that had her laughing for so long. And yes, Michael Dunn, I have to tell you, Pennsylvania has the dumbest deer in the world. They like getting hit by cars. I swear they jump out in front of us. But so far, yay, not for Nadia. All right, anybody got fun exciting plans for tomorrow? We're having dinner with the fam and doing a movie night, and that's how we're starting the day and the new year. And I know everybody makes, um, a big deal of making New Year's resolutions, but everyone says— suggests against that and just Do a little better today than you did yesterday. Don't compare yourself to everybody else. Just do the best that you can. Know that none of us are perfect. We can all strive to be a little bit better. And we never know whose life we are impacting. So with that, DJ, any other ideas? Yeah. Oh, so Michael Dunn responded, Thelma and Louise, if we're going to turn around or get shot, which is probably realistic-ish. Um, oh wait, G23, nice. Um, quit smoking 2 weeks ago, that's awesome. And, uh, sorry, DJ and I are hitting things. I hit the wrong thing. See, I'm not good on the phone. DJ, I should make you in charge of it always. All right, hon, what else do you have as we go into the new year?

Well, I'm going to take G23's comment off the screen there. Thank you, uh, for the assist. To say congrats, bro. That's a really difficult thing to do. Keep up the good work. Last entrant into the room, hello East Coast and the Krabby Turtle. Also joined tonight by Fiona, JH586, that's Jamie to you and I, Gun Websites, Misty, Mrs. Wayne was out there, the Mikes, Michael Dunn and Mike White are out there, and, uh, SorryFan93 as well. So I— it was a great show. I was glad to be able to share that story. I don't speak too much on the program. I hope— thank you again, everyone, for your patience and your indulgence. I was happy to be able to share that story. It's your birthday.

We'll let you do anything you want, man.

I say it's my birthday. It's gonna be my birthday every Saturday then. So here's my gig, everybody. The New Year is a couple of days away. Maybe not make those promises to self, but maybe make some movement toward others the same way that Brooke has suggested that we do. Opportunities abound. Um, Hillbilly's coming up, the Hillbilly on the Hillbilly Up channel. Guns, Beer and Therapy is coming up. That is a well and wealth of laughter, lightheartedness, joy sometimes, and it's casual. Check it out, it's a good time. Tomorrow on the She Fires channel, she's out there, go check out her channel, I'll drop a link to it. Um, she has a fireside chat That is also a great positive crowd. There are opportunities all over the place for you to indulge yourself in places and spaces with faces that aren't necessarily familiar but are welcoming nonetheless. That's what I got.

All right, well, I appreciate that. I realized when you said she fires tomorrow, I'm like, no, that's not till Sunday. And in my brain, I thought today was Friday. So that's, that's, yeah, that's what happens being on the road for like 4 days in a row. So I'm glad tomorrow's actually— wait, is it really Sunday tomorrow? Awesome. I don't know about everybody else, but the holidays definitely mess up my timetable. So, all right, well, DJ, thank you so much. Are you going to be on Hillbilly's show tonight?

I may indeed. Um, I think I have an invitation. I'll check and see about that and also some of the other plans. I mean, it's a Saturday at the end of the year. I'm going to try and cram as many bands' performances as I can. Before I started all over again in '24. So glad that the cough— yeah, so glad the cough is over and we get to do that. Take advantage of opportunities, get out there and do it, folks. Rock!

Yeah, go play, go play. All right, y'all, you have an awesome New Year's Eve and everything else. Of course, stay safe, enjoy, and, uh, see you all next week.