Suicide Prevention Saturday - Have you given yourself credit yet?

Hey everybody.

It's Suicide Prevention Saturday. And why are we here? Because 2 out of every 3 gun deaths we hear about are suicides. So if we actually wanna save lives and help people, we need to talk about suicide prevention and mental health. 'Cause you know, there's that bonus in there. When we actually address the issues that have to do with better mental health, we actually help to work on reducing violence as well. So anyway, hope y'all having a lovely Saturday night or whenever you replay viewers are watching this. Um, thank y'all for popping in and saying hi, for those of you actually say hi in the chat. And that— and thank you for all of those who just voyeuristically just sit there and watch without saying anything so no one knows you are here. But I do always run— love running into you guys in the streets, in the towns, and people like, oh, I've seen your show, I just never say anything. I'm like, okay, cool. So anyway, um, I don't know, there's some bumping and thumping outside of my little building here, and so it gives me pause simply for— it's like, I don't— I'm not sure, but sometimes the bears will decide that they're going to use the building as a scratching post. But if I go to open the door, they usually run away, so that is a good thing. All right, so I am gonna let my co-host DJ do the thing that the DJ does, and he's gonna watch the comments, and then he's gonna say hi to everyone for me, um, so that I can try to stay on target for the next 15 or 20 minutes that we are chatting. So I'm not looking at the comments right now for all of you said hi. I did see early on, well, I don't know, DJ, I know there's a couple of people that I know you've said hi to. Do you mind popping on here and just officially welcoming everyone that's here already and has said hi?

I would love to do that. And I also wanted to let you know if you didn't see it on your screen that we had a group come over from the Gun Websites Live that was just happening. So thank you to G-Webs for that. Out there on the text chat tonight. We've got Crabby Turtle who arrived early. Mike Ballinger is out there, so is Sariafan93. Chasing Ghost, we got Gizzard Gary out there saying hello as well. 2 Live Moo, good to see you. Simon Says Train, if this isn't the first one, it's a second or a third one, and it's good to see him out there as well. Patriot in the Dark saying good evening. Aldo Schmendek, you're gonna have to help me out with the phonetics on that one, brah. And Fiona is in the room. Viejo just joined up, and I'm gonna work on pronunciation of Aldo's last name. And that's what I got for your roll call.

Awesome. Yes, thank you very much, G-Webs, for, uh, letting folks know. Uh, DJ and I were actually just this week having the conversation. It's like, do we post up the pre of this announcement like a week ahead, the day of, all that sort of stuff? And, um, I know G-Webs, you've asked before that we get it up sooner so you can at least help us, uh, build our audience. So thank you for that, do appreciate it greatly. All right, um, super happy you guys are all here. Hi Fiona, we really have to clean guns someday, you and I. We're gonna have the dirtiest guns in the northeast-west corner of Connecticut, but that's okay as long as they still run. Um, so anyway, have you given yourself credit for getting through whatever it is that haunts you? Now, you don't necessarily have to have anything that haunts you. Uh, have you given yourself credit for going through all the stuff you've gone through? Now, I'm gonna go with the age-ish of my audience is above 20. And some of it's above 30 and some of it's above 40 and some of it's above 50 and so on and so forth. We're not talking, it doesn't really matter. But if you've gotten past 2 or 3 or 5 years of your life, like from birth to 5 years old, chances are you've gone through something. And we do not give ourselves credit for the things that we think that we should just be able to do. So when we're talking about mental health, the number one person that we have to worry about is, all right, this is where I actually will have, who is the number one person that you have to worry about with their mental health? Who is the number one person you have to take care of when considering mental health and all of that? I'm like, I'll play some Jeopardy music. Do, do, do, do, do, do. All right. For those of you who are answering in the side chat, thank you very much. I'm still not looking. So DJ, if anyone's answering, you gotta let me know. Otherwise I'm just gonna let them know that I have the answer for them, but oh, DJ took his mic off. So did someone answer? There it is.

The first one in by saying ourselves. And I was saying yes, yes, yes in the background. So there it is.

Awesome. Awesome. Thank you, sir. Yes, absolutely ourselves. DJ and I were talking a little bit earlier, and it is so easy for us to want to help people, fix people. Oh, especially Fiona and I are both moms, right? So boy, do we want to make our kids the best that they can be, and we want them to be better than us. Well, I shouldn't talk for Fiona, but as parents, moms, dads, even brothers, sisters, you know, if you're the eldest, often you're kind of taking care of the youngest, but not always. So, um, we've always— we have all gone through stuff. Like when you're a baby, you cried, someone took care of you, good. Uh, then you learned how to walk, which means you fell down a lot, and then you had to go to school. And so every moment of our lives, we are going through growing and going through something new and different, and new and different is stressful.. And whether it's learning how to talk or learning how to walk or learning how to shoot, since a large majority of my audience here are firearms enthusiasts, none of us learned anything in a moment. So when I say giving yourself credit for what you've done, think about all the skills and talents that you have that you take for granted, right? So It can be anything, uh, Tara's cooking, for example. I don't know if Tara's out there. I forgot, I already lost the list that DJ gave me. Um, but Tara and I've been texting a lot lately, and she's— her cooking, her driving, um, any job that you actually have, like G-Webs, for example. Pete is out there, and oh my goodness, the amount of content he's created and that sort of thing. But just simple things like taking care of the puppies. So much of our expectation is, well, anyone can do this, so it's not a big deal that I can do this, whatever it is. Taking care of animals, it's a big deal. You have to have the ability to do it. You have to have the desire and the will to do it. And we just— it amazes me how easy it is to take for granted. We had— my son said to me earlier this week, he's like, Mom, you go online every Saturday night and talk to complete strangers to try to help them with their mental health, but in actuality, I have to remember to help me with my mental health. And my epiphany that I had this week is just what I'm talking to you guys about. It is that whole, I can't help anyone else I can't fix anyone else. I can't do anything for any of you is the reality of it. I can do my best to help myself and for me to be a better person so that hopefully the things that I learn as I fail forward, that will then help you along your journey, possibly. So DJ Sir, um, Any thoughts? Any ideas?

Well, I've got some coming from the text chat out there, and there's a little— there's some humor, but some people are taking it serious, and I'm glad to have things either way. After Fiona said ourselves, um, Aldo, who said I could call him Paul. Okay, so Paul says, the older you get, the more you go through, and that is hashtag facts, no doubt. Uh, Viejo is saying, I'm in the so on and so forth group.

That's where I stopped at 5, is just for Viejo. So, you know, right on.

And I have this from Diamond Says Train gives credit to his wife. His life depends on it. So there's some of that sense of humor coming out in the chat tonight. Here's— sorry, Fanhead.

Go ahead.

I was just gonna say, sorry, Fan93 had this to say myself. That's why I'm in therapy. So it's not just knowing who to give credit to, but it's making sure that you take care of the person, and that person is you. The better that you take care of yourself, the more you're able to help not only yourself but others.

Check that out. Exactly. And I mean, it goes back to like, I went to a women's retreat back in my 20s for a— it was a Christian retreat. But one of the things I was talking about is you cannot fill from an empty cup, right? And it talked about— it was a story about a pitcher, and as in the kind that you pour water out of pitcher, not a picture of something. And it's like, you can't fill up anybody else's cup if your pitcher is empty, and you have to take care of your pitcher to make sure it is fulfill. And there is no end to the amount of love that you can have for yourself. And when you love yourself fully and thoroughly without being a sociopath or whatever— what are— there are some other ones that are, uh, egotistical, but it's— it's— you can truly love yourself because the sooner you love yourself, the more you can love on others, and there's more overflow. DJ, what are the words I'm looking for, man? I know you know them.

I'm gonna go ahead and just push this over to Bubba right now. He's got some words for us, and what he's saying out there in the text chat Because I think in life it's good to keep in mind the victories you have and what little or big goals you make, to take pride in it, but to also be mindful that pride does not overcome what is warranted. Yeah, putting ourselves in the head check like that, especially after we're starting to puff out our chest and have some success in the go-me kind of thing. Well, if you do put yourself at the top of that, you know, at the top of that list, the others behind are kind of like, what's going on with, you know, what's going on with DJ? He's awfully full of whatever it is that he's doing, or himself, kind of deal, as always.

Yeah. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. And I mean, I know, like, for me, I was picked on like crazy as a kid, and I thought the girls were mean, and I thought they just thought they were so much better than me. Later on in life, I actually listened to what my mom said, which was, no, they're just jealous of what you have, and so the only way they know how to do anything about it is tear you down. And so perspective also matters a bit as far as, you know, I was always afraid of being boastful and it's like Bob was talking about, he's like, you have to find that happy medium. And I find often, and I don't know if it's a girl, just a girl thing, but I talk to girls more about it than I do with guys. So guys, you know, forgive me if this is incorrect or too stereotypical, but I find us women tend to be very good at beating ourselves up, expecting ourselves to be better than we are, and constantly berating ourselves. And I think this is why girls are so mean. But I don't know, um, Fiona's not mean, of course. Yes, DJ?

Well, I don't think that it's exclusive or, you know, even indicative to one sex or the other. And one thing that I just wanted to toss out there— this is not to be contrary, but I think a lot of dudes do as well, and maybe an equal number just don't talk about it. That's one of the, like, one of those social burdens with males. Like, if you aren't out front with your emotions, and most males do not want you to do that on them, near them, around them, nothing, then yeah, you're kind of screwed in that. And, and I do, I will admit that I am one of those emotional dudes. I am somebody who is affected by what goes on around me in ways that I wish I could have in better control sometimes. Does that make me a little girl, as some people have called me? Yeah, sometimes. But, you know, like, go ahead.

No, no, I mean, exactly. I'm just agreeing with you. It's, um, it is funny how it's just like, like I said, I just talk to more women than I talk to men about this sort of stuff, um, just because when we're talking about things that have happened to us, because like I said, the theme of tonight is have you given yourself credit for getting through whatever it is that haunts you? And for most of us women, it's sexual assault of some sort or another. And it still happens to men as well. I do know that without a doubt, but I think that's often where we come up with too many of the conversations that are like, oh yeah, me too, in that we're trying to be more and better. And well, we should just be able to suck it up, buttercup, and move on. But we've gotten through and we're not dead yet. So there's that.

Well, and neither is Mike Ballinger. He's out there saying, bring it to your screen now, I give myself credit for the 180 I did growing up from a jerk to an awesome person that helps anyone. I'm relating to Mike on that one. I am still working through it. And the 180 that he did growing up, well, I'm still growing up then because it hasn't been as recent as all of that. We need some humor in the moment and G-Webs can provide it. He says, I've given myself a lot of credit car debt. Yeah, gee, a lot of us can like relate to that one. Here's what Chasing Ghost had to say, and this is almost exactly what I was saying earlier. So Tara and I are out there having, um, having an agreement at least. My advice to my neighbor: take care of yourself first. You can't take care of yourself, you can't take care of anyone else. Easier said than done, but it is. She's right about that.

I agree. Oh, absolutely. Yeah, but well, because I— and I'm not sure, but like the way I see it is it's like It's just so much easier. Um, one of the stories I heard when— again, back to my Christian retreat, uh, the ladies thing— there were lots of different stories that were that day, that weekend. But it was just like, it was the, the, the Cellar Door was the name of the story. And there was a cellar door in this house, and they walked by it, and they could see that it needed painting, and it went on the list of things that we're gonna do. And they didn't do it, they didn't do it, they didn't do it. But then they went to someone else's house and they saw that their cellar door needed to be painted, and so they could easily say, oh well, I can paint that cellar door for them, because it was one thing at somebody else's house made it so much easier because it was a single task. But when we're in our own homes, i.e., our own minds, and we have the cellar door and then we have the screen door and then we have the rip curtain over there, and then there's a leak in the attic, and, and, and, oh yeah, we need to get this done, that done. All of a sudden, we're in our own home. It's a lot harder to stay focused on getting that one thing done, whether it's a cellar door or making sure that we're taking care of ourselves. So I think that is often why those of us who want to help others but also need to take care of ourselves it is easier to help someone else because you and I do not have the same knowledge of ourselves, right? It's like you guys get to see me on Saturday nights for 15, 20 minutes, 30 minutes depending on, um, and DJ. And I have been with me all of my life and I know all of the stupid things I've done. I know all the amazing things I've done. I know all of the questionable things I have done. And this is, I think that's the house, right? Because that's everything we know about ourselves. And some of it's true, some of it's partially true, and some of it's just straight up lie because they've done lots of research on memory and they're actually not as good as you might think they are. But when I look at somebody else's house, like DJ, for example, I'm going to pick on you since you can talk back. But it's like, I'll look at DJ and I'll just be like, oh, he's so amazing. Why is he amazing? Oh, well, because he can play the heck out of guitar. And I think that is so amazing because I've tried and I failed and I suck. So this is the other reason why looking at other people can both make us feel better or worse. And DJ has tried to help me with the guitar thing, but in general, he can't make me play. And that goes back to that whole beginning thing of he can tell me to go pick up the guitar, but As a coach, the only thing that will happen is if I decide that I'm going to pick up the guitar.

And like, what I have to offer to almost everybody in that kind of regard, and it doesn't have to be guitar, is encouragement. I'll check in with you kind of thing. And that's, I'm basically dovetailing into what you said and what other people are saying in this chat. You got to take care of yourself. You need to develop self. You need to have reliance on self. Before your help to others. And Sariafan93 is out there saying, I had to forgive myself for the things that I blamed myself for. I had to learn to love myself before my partner found me. She accepts me for me. Finding that you are the you that you are always going to be is not always the easiest thing. And Saria, I'm glad that you're able to find a partner who is not only open but fosters that kind of confidence, that kind of What is like pride, I guess, might be a word that people don't, you know, Bubba's out there saying boasting. It's not quite the word that I want to use there. I think I'm conveying the effect though.

Go ahead. But that, but that, that what to Bubba's point and to what you're saying is like pridefulness, right? Is, oh, look at me. I'm so awesome because I show up here every Saturday night. That's not it. We can, I can be proud of the fact that I do this consistently regardless without being prideful. So context matters. So as far as I think pride is still an okay word to use, because you know what we're talking about, we're talking about the actual pride of doing something well, right? When you pick, like, when you pick up a guitar and you just destroy that lick, does that not give you pride and happiness and joy?

It does, but I'll do it through hooded eyes if anybody else is around, and I'll diminish whatever it was that I did, even though I might be jumping up and down on the inside. It's hard to take— it's hard to celebrate those kind of things. And there's a comment coming in from Defense Dad. He says, I'm of the generation that if a man showed feelings or vulnerability, then he was chastised or made fun of.

Absolutely. Yeah. And everything changes, no doubt.

And Gun Websites, again with some humor in there, I was born before dudes had feelings.

Gun Websites was born before dirt was born. So, you know, there's that. I don't think dirt has feelings, as far as I know. My garden never screams when I dig it up, so I'm gonna go with that.

So, and like, kind of dovetailing into what, uh, what— pardon me, Defense Dad was saying— have this coming to your screen from Bubba Triclops Ballistics. He says, so on that, I feel as men we should be empathetic and not apathetic, but not too empathetic. We have to reach that balance of the in-between, and it's hard. It's not going to be easy, but Nothing in life is worth doing that it's easy. There we go.

Yeah, no, absolutely. And again, back to the main purpose of today, right, is giving yourself credit for what you've gone through, what you've done. Even getting out of bed in the morning, right, is that there are times when there are plenty of us who are just crushed by depression, anxiety, and just have zero desire to actually put two feet on the floor. And everyone's like, well, of course you get up in the morning, you have to go to work, you have to do stuff. And it's like, no, not of course. Um, you choose to do those where there are people out there that cannot get out of bed. I was wicked sick, uh, a couple months ago where I legit could barely get out of bed, and it was the strangest sickness ever. And I'm like, I don't think I'm depressed, but this is kind of what depression feels like because you just can't move. And it, it, it's crazy. It's one of those things where getting up in the morning, putting your feet on the floor, taking a shower, brushing your hair, it sounds like it should be such, oh, well, of course everyone does it. It's like, no, not everyone does it. And if we can start to give ourselves credit for the little things that we do every single day, or at least most days, 'Cause God bless you if you're someone who does the same thing every single day. I'm jealous. I really am. But it's like, you have to give yourself credit for the stuff you do and you have to appreciate what you've done without being boastful to Bubba's point earlier. And Bubba, so nice to have you here, by the way. I don't know if I'm ever getting another one of your shows, 'cause my course is finally in, by the way, which is the only reason I was up that night. But anyway, there is just, it's so easy to belittle ourselves. It's so easy to not give ourselves credit. Yes, we are absolutely our own worst enemy. What Fiona said, yeah, that we are our own worst enemies because just like I was saying how you and I are the only ones who believe we know what we've done all of our lives. We show ourselves to different people in different ways. Oh, my favorite thing. When my husband and I were in college, we lived together, and he would pick up the phone, and by the tone of his voice, I could tell, hey, what's up? Yeah, okay, he's talking to one of his buddies. Oh yeah, hi, Mom. You know, and I could tell he's talking to his mom or sister or something like that. Even before social media, where people really get to choose what they show to people and what they don't, we always have that face on for whoever it is that we're spending time with. There are people that we are more honest with than others. There are people that we're always just happy every time we see them because we're happy to see them for real. But the reality is none of us are happy all the time, but we can always work on that.

So, and here's some work that Defense Dad is putting himself through lately, and I want to read this to you. He says, yeah, work is really stressful the last several months, and there's quite a few mornings I sit on the edge of the bed and have to convince myself to just get up and get going.

Life happens. Absolutely. And I think more people than not don't realize that so many people have that struggle on a regular basis. There's actually one of the things they say about your job satisfaction absolutely makes a difference in your life. And the way they came about this was that if you are unhappy in your job, you are most likely to die on a Monday because they said more people die on Mondays than any other day of the week. And so you best be happy with your job or at least do your best to appreciate it as much as you can, I guess. So, all right, upcoming information for you guys before I go. Um, I am on vacation next week and the following week, so I have the candle lady, uh, we're pre-recording an episode for you guys for next week, and it is Shorty's Candles. And, um, Jake Wickerstein from Walk the Talk America introduced me to this lovely lady. You'll get to meet her next Saturday. So that will be an interview. So for G2-3, uh, this will actually be probably closer to a full hour next week, as well as the following Saturday, which is the 13th. Sorry, I have to look at the calendar because I really don't know. Um, there's a gentleman I met in my training counselor class for USCCA, and hopefully I can get Cody on— not Cody, oh, what's his name? Anyway, dude from Louisiana. He also does a bunch of suicide prevention. He owns a shop down in Louisiana, and we're going to talk suicide prevention and what we can do in the gun community. So candles, guns, Louisiana, good food, all of those things, those are what you have to look forward to in the next 2 weeks. And then I will be back live with you all on the 20th, just like that. All right, Mr. DJ, play me a song. No, sorry, that's the wrong thing.

I, I do like, uh, Bubba's been out there and he's at, he has had He has had a couple of quotes, and one of them he was riffing on a Ben Folds Five lyric. So thanks for that, man. I always like when people include music in their commentary. Uh, Brooke, it's been a good show tonight, and we have been joined by the Krabby Turtle, Mike Ballinger. Sorry, Fan 93 chasing ghosts. Gizzard Gary is out there, so is 2 Live Moo, The Barnyard Is Covered, Simon Says Train out there saying hey. So was G-Webs with some much-needed humor. Thanks, man. Um, Aldo Call Me Paul is out there, so is Patriot in the Dark. Fiona Rock is out joining us tonight. Viejo is also here. Bubba Triclops Ballistics has been giving us some great quotes and interaction. Thanks for that, man. Mario Mosin, uh, came in a little bit towards the end. Defense Dad is out there as well. Thank you for your contributions, Defense Dad. Here, Billy Up, who has got a show coming up right after this one, is out there. And so was Jamie JH586, who has a show on Friday nights, and he's going to be at the one this evening, and he's here in this one and whatever, and the man has church in the morning. So we had a great Had a great crew out there. We, we topped out at about 20 people out there tonight, so I'm glad that everyone is tuned in. What do you got up there?

Well, I, I gotta throw this up there because I too have a teenage daughter, and I agree 100% with Patriot in the Dark. And then I try to stay away from feelings. I have a teenage daughter and she has all of the feelings. Um, so yeah, without, without doubt. And, uh, yeah, I, and I think, you know, the levity of life gets better without with pie, and that is also very important.

Agree, agree. And you know, we have—

that's where we should end on that one.

That sounds good to me. So thank you everyone for joining us. Make sure that you tune in next week and see what kind of interesting things we might have to talk about. Feel free to interact in the comments. Brooke and I encourage you to do so because we might get an idea for a future show from those comments, and reading and responding to them is always something that we're going to get done as soon as we can. Um, got a show coming up by Hillbilly Up on the Hillbilly Up channel right after this one, so I'll try to drop a link to that in the text chat. Until we see everybody else again, be safe, have fun, take care of yourself and your crew, and rock! We're out!