Suicide Prevention Saturday - Hidden Stress

Yep, I can just kind of like rock out to that for sure. So, all right, look, magic keyboard. Yeah, so DJ is saying we, that would not be me, but that's okay. He has the power to run the keyboard. All right. Hey everyone. Hey, To Live Moo. And what am I here to tell you tonight? What is it? Oh, it's Saturday. What does that mean? Oh, it's Suicide Prevention Saturday. Why is it Suicide Prevention Saturday? Because as gun owners, we need to make people understand that every gun death they hear about is— 2 out of every 3 gun deaths they hear about from the CDC are actually suicides. And if we actually want to make a difference and save lives, we need to talk about mental health and suicide prevention, because not only could we save those lives, or at least help save some of those lives that are lost to gun deaths, We could also save a bunch of those lives that are other forms of suicide as well. And yet there's still more. It's like a ShamWow commercial. Um, not only could we save the lives of the people who commit suicide without firearms, however funny, when we start paying attention to mental health, we also help prevent violence. We got a win-win-win-win situation here if people would just talk about mental health and actually get something done. About it on a regular basis. So that is why I'm here every Saturday night, uh, 9 PM Eastern, no matter what people like Paul Lathrop say, that the Central Time Zone is the only one that matters. So, um, good evening everyone, thanks for popping in. I said hi to 2 Live Moo. Mike White was out there earlier today, um, waiting in the chat, and G-Webs otherwise known as gun websites. So, DJ, I'm stealing your job. I said hi to everyone so far. You're in charge of anyone else who joins us. So with that, let's talk about stressors. Here we are, the week before Thanksgiving. Does anyone here stress about having family over? Or maybe you're not having family over, but you have to go hang out with family. Or maybe you've got kids and you've got to go shopping and you're getting ready for everything and you got to clean the house or all of these things. These are things that we know are coming. These are things that sometimes are going to stress us out and sometimes they are not going to stress us out. The reason I talked about hidden stress is because I had no idea how significantly stressed I was until the stressor was gone. Now, what does that mean? Well, we just talked about stuff that we know that can stress us out, you know, holidays, family, um, it's colder, we've got shorter days, we don't get as much daylight. So make sure y'all are taking your vitamin D. Not a doctor offering medical advice, however, most Americans are deficient in vitamin D, and the weird thing about that is you can't get a test for that until you've been shown to be deficient in vitamin D. Or at least the insurance company won't pay for it until after you're deficient. Anyway, just a fun fact for you because, you know, insurance is always fun. So shorter days, less light, we need more vitamin D. Now, stressors we know about: holidays coming up, family, all that. Stresses we don't know about— these are the hidden guys that I knew that something was off, I knew that I wasn't quite myself, I felt odd and off, but I couldn't put my finger on it. No, uh, it wasn't until I got over the stressor that I had any idea what was going on. So what do we do? Is there anything I could have done differently to realize that I was stressed? I don't know, but because I just went through this, I'm going to tell you about it, so maybe there's something that you could figure out from my lack of awareness of what was stressing me out. So, um, most of you guys know I do a lot with politics in here in Connecticut. I fight for our Second Amendment rights. I really fight for our politicians to actually do violence prevention programs versus banning something or writing another regulation that is useless and doesn't actually have any impact. So because I've been doing that for over a decade, I've had lots of experience with it. And this is where, oh yes, ignorance really is bliss, because I was much happier before that I knew nothing. So I get to follow all the laws. And so the most recent law that changed, or one of the many laws that changed this year with the latest anti-gun bill here in Connecticut, was the training. Now, I'd been through the bill I knew there's a lot of stuff in it. I knew there was a change of training, but I didn't really know until the end of September when our Department of— uh, DESPP. Anyway, so there's this DESPP, Department of Environmental Something Protection, and then underneath that is our Special Licensing and Firearms Unit, SLFU. Firearms unit, not the other FU, just so we're clear. So I— one of my other instructor friends sent me a letter from the Special Licensing Firearms Unit, and it was like September 27th, letting people know that they needed to get a course plan. So, um, you know, they had to come up with something like this to teach in Connecticut based on the new requirements that the legislation— legislative body had passed. So here it is, September 27th, I get this letter. Someone asked me what's going on. I'm like, huh, I don't know. Um, but what I did was I took this course, which is the NRA Basic Pistol Course, and I wrote the additional stuff that the state now wanted us to teach because they're asking us to teach laws.. And I love NRA because they're like, you're not a lawyer, you're not teaching laws. So I wrote a course that was, what are the laws that Connecticut wants us to now teach new permit holders? And there's only 4 of them. And I did a PowerPoint, I added it on to the end of this existing one, and I submitted that. I did it both for my NRA and for my USCCA. I don't know where my book is right this second. Oh, here it is. Yeah, so I took both of these. Oh look, it's another gun. Who knew? Um, don't worry, when I'm saying it's another gun, it's a plastic gun, not like a regular gun. All right, so I took both these courses, I did the requirements the state wants and added them in, and just sent them off to, uh, DESPP, the Special Licensing Firearms Unit in DESPP. So About a week or two later, I get a call back and they're like, oh yeah, no, we're not going to accept that because we don't want to approve 10 million different NRA or USCCA courses with just a different lesson plan for the law portion. So what happens? Well, now I had to create an entire course, Souped Nuts, to figure out how to do this. Now, how does this have anything to do with stressing, right? My original plan, because this course by itself is not going to be teachable here in Connecticut any longer with our laws— I teach people this course, been teaching it for over a decade. Um, then as a training counselor for NRA, I teach other people how to be instructors to teach this course. So I'm out here trying to save the world. Now, I don't know if you read the description— Facebook up here, YouTube down there— but I said, um, where the heck is it? Uh, tonight we talk about when you just save the world, and joking aside, how much it can be detrimental. So why was this detrimental? Because I was trying to save the world, i.e., my NRA pistol permit teaching instructors. So when I failed the first time, I had to come up with something the second time. So as DJ already knows, I did an entire course soup to nuts. I handed it in on Monday, and I have never felt so happy in my life to do something that I didn't realize how much stress was on my shoulders trying to at least get that done and have something finished. So That was a stressor I didn't know about. I'm not really saving the world, but I was really trying to give other NRA instructors a way to keep teaching what we've been teaching all along and just add a little chunk on at the end for our law requirements. And when that failed, I had to figure something else out. Whether my thing gets approved or not, I have no idea. They have until they're— they get it done because it's the state. I'm hoping to find out in the next 2-3 months. We don't know. But like I said, I knew something was off. I didn't know what it was. I don't know what I could have done different to realize what kind of stress I was putting on myself. But now that I'm through it, on the other side, I'm like, oh, everything is lovely. And it's really actually quite good. I mean, that's not me being sarcastic. And then DJ also knows this already. We also— I also had physical pain in my body. I've got arthritis in my lower back. It's very uncomfortable. And when I say very uncomfortable, it really sucks. So on Thursday, they had large needles and they shoved them in my back and they put medicine in there, and then that made me physically feel better. So this week I've gotten so many things that I wasn't paying attention to. So I know not everyone is out to save the world. However, sometimes we're going to do things that we're focused on doing and our head is down and we're just going, going, going. And I don't know what I could have done to pay attention, but now that I know, I'll try to be more careful going forward. But then when I got the physical pain taken away— so often those of us who have chronic pain, we're in the pain all the time. And we just sit there and we don't realize how hard we're holding our breath. We don't realize how much energy we're using to hold ourselves together. When the doc put that nice honking through big needle in my back and pierced my, my muscles and went into my spine and all of those things, the amount of pain that was released from my back was spectacular. Did I cry? Yes. Did it suck? Yes. Do I feel so much better now? Yes, also. So unknowing stress, the hidden stuff. Do you have chronic pain? When's the last time you actually got something done about it that made a big difference? Those are the things. All right, DJ, I was just on a roll. I see there's like 24 comments that I have not looked at yet. Uh, all right, so hold on, I gotta move this a little bit. Can't save the world a piece at a time, not all at once. And if so, that can help relieve some stress by focusing on the next part instead of the whole thing, right? So I could never save the entire world, and I am absolutely saying that kind of more as a euphemism, but the amount of stress that I realized was released once I handed in that pile of paperwork that I had created I'm like, huh, I'm trying to do this for myself, but I'm also trying to help others. And so it is little tiny pieces at a time. You and I— like, DJ, you have to come on here for a second. What is the thing you always say about smiling?

I try to say that if you're out and about in your day-to-day world and you see somebody who isn't wearing a smile, make one.

Okay, so to me, that one smile, like when we remember to smile when no one else is smiling, that is saving our world a piece at a time and not all at once. Is we have to do— you and I have to do individual little things that make a little bit of difference. So, um, yeah, and like I said, I wasn't even aware how much stress I was throwing upon myself. All right, DJ, we've got other things I need to pay attention to or look at.

Well, this from Chasing Ghosts, uh, saying that been shredding my fingers beating on acoustic guitar. That's certainly a way to take it one piece at a time, take some stressors, release them through a creative outlet.

Yeah, as long as you like doing that, don't get frustrated that you haven't practiced in a long time. And I just know that the challenge with guitar playing is that if you do it all the time, it's awesome because you have all of the, um, calluses. And each time I, I go without and then I go back to it, I'm like, you know, um, breaking in your fingertips again. That's rough. So I understand the shredding part. It's literally kind of like feels like getting shredded. So, all right, sir, anything else?

Well, I wanted to give you— I'll check one last time. All right, you gotta give me more comments and then give you a final roll call. Um, early in the room tonight was G-Webs. Mike White is also out there. Two live Moo was out there. Misty Mrs. Wayne dropped in, so did Zaria Fan 93. Gizzard Gary in the room, as was Michael Dunn. And you just had that comment from Chasing Ghost. That is your roll call for tonight.

All right, so, um, I see on the Facebook side, Mike, uh, cortisone shot didn't work for him, um, and, uh, he has been in chronic pain for a really long time. Uh, it wasn't cortisone. I got something else and no, I can't tell you what it is because I'm not that detailed girl that remembers these things. But yeah, pain is miserable. And again, those of us who deal with it on a regular basis, honestly, I don't know. Everyone's got a different level of pain. They always say, you know, on a 0 to 10 or 1 to 10 scale. And it's just like, it might be a 10. But after you've been dealing with it for 24/7, all of a sudden it's more like a 5 or 6, because you just get used to that 10-level pain. So it sucks.

I can relate to the level 9 pain becoming just the new 4.5 kind of thing. You just get used to it, it builds up, so does your tolerance. And often when I'm asked that pain scale, I say, well, do you mean the clinical one? Or do you mean my personal one? And I can give them that same little digression there. So those who know me, know me well, when I come in, that I wear the number of difficulty or stress on my face more than I do a number that I can say. It's good to have people who know you that well, even if they are just clinicians.

Yeah. Oh no, I want to talk to— yeah, don't, don't click, DJ, stop clicking. All right. So working on gaming videos for my channel, trying to play catch up. Here's the deal, we can never catch up. Start where you're at. Probably the best advice I ever got one day when I was at a scrapbooking workshop thing, because if we try to catch up, we're always going backwards to go forward. If we start where we are right now and go forward, oh, that, that feels a lot better than trying to catch up. So that is my suggestion to you. Um, You already said hide it, Ron Wayne, yes?

Or did you know? No, you, you brought Ron Wayne. And thank you also for bringing up that comment from Michael Bellinger earlier. I had forgotten about the Facebook side, didn't mean to do that. So yeah, Ron Wayne, last in the room. Um, this from Chasing Ghosts saying, I've always had high tolerance, but it's like as my pain tolerance goes up from being in pain so long. Yeah, I can relate to that as well.

Yeah, and it's one of those things, like my dad had a drug addiction and a lot of it was due to the physical pain that he was in. And, you know, also because he liked having fun with drugs, let's be real. That's why I tell them, I warn my kids, I'm like, here's the deal, I know D.A.R.E. says don't do drugs, and they don't tell you that don't do drugs because they're fun, um, at least when you start usually. But so I watched my dad deal with regular pain and then additional pain because he really abused himself quite well. Between getting thrown off horses and race car driving and blowing things up and all sorts of fun stuff. So, um, yeah, I think there's a lot of people that are in a lot of physical pain all the time, and I definitely think that is a hidden stress because we just get used to it. It's like what we already said, not trying to beat the dead horse, but it's just like your pain is absolutely miserable but you get used to it. So now it scooches down on the pain scale. And then when they ask you, you're like, oh yeah, it's a 4 or 5. But which is honestly, when I went in for my procedure, I'm like, it didn't really hurt that much at all until they relieved the pain. Same as when I had appendicitis. I thought I had a bladder infection. I didn't think anything of it. I went into the ER. The doc is like, hey, you want some morphine? And I'm like, nah, I'm fine. And then about an hour later, I'm like, yes, please, I think I'll take that. And once he gave me the morphine and the pain was relieved, that's when I realized how much pain I was actually in. Because most of us deal with it the same way. I know we're all a little bit different, but I just didn't realize we're really holding on to our pain. And sometimes it's physical and sometimes emotional. And this is where it becomes the hidden stress, is because my back is like all crunched up, and then they stick a needle through it, and just having the needle stuck through it actually allows it to relax. It's called dry needling. Even if they didn't put medicine in there, it allows that to break up a little bit. Oddly enough, the trauma of having a needle stuck through you, uh, allows you to relax more. Who knew? Um, So that stress that you've been holding on to, whether it's physical or emotional, um, this is one of those things where, you know, there's so much hidden stress that we have. And like, checking in with your body— ready, we're gonna do a zen moment. You ready? We'll close our eyes, take a breath, right? Check in on your toes, wiggle your toes. Pay attention to your ankles, wiggle those a little bit. How are your knees? You your thighs, your hips. Just a quick check-in. Here we go. Hips, backbone, shoulders, arms, wrists, fingers. Move that head. Just something as simple as that. Give your body that moment of attention to each little piece and part. And this is a way to find possibly some of that hidden stress, or maybe let go of some of that hidden stress. We don't know. So anyway, that's what I got for you guys. Hidden stress. Who knew where it was? I didn't. How do we find stuff, you know, that will help us? And just so you know, I hate needles too. So not my thing. And physical pain tolerance. Here's the thing. It's temporary. As I was lying there knowing that I'm about to have big honking needles shoved all the way through my back into my bones, I'm just like, okay, this too shall pass. This too shall pass. This too shall pass. My body, however, was freaking out. My legs, from my butt down my legs, was shaking like I was a popsicle. I was shivering so badly. The doc's like, are you cold? And at the top half of me, like, no, I am sweating my ass off because my body is reacting to the pain that I'm expecting and I'm waiting for, and it's actually happening. So I would not say that I like needles. I like the effect of what happens after they're done with the needles. And so yeah, so anyway, I don't know that anyone is a Oh, what'd you say? You said, um, a weakling when it comes to physical pain tolerance. Maybe, maybe not. That's just it. Um, I have this funny, uh, analogy. See the pink on my shoulders here? Pink on my shoulders. I look at this, I say, all right, this is— this color is pink, right? We're looking at this as pink. Now here's the reality of it is you and I agree this color is pink. However, we have no idea if you and I see the same color. You understand what I'm saying here? Just like my eyes, right? My eyes are blue, but I have no idea if the blue you see is the same blue that I see. So pain tolerances, all of that— this is why we shouldn't compare so much, like who's bigger, who's smaller, who's better, who's faster. Well, those things we can actually measure, but anyway, The idea is that pain is pain. That scale of 0 to 10 is your personal scale, always. And let's see. Sorry. I'm— see, now I'm looking— see, I stopped my ranting, so I'm now looking at comments and stuff. So prednisone pills, but not good for you mentally. Yeah. And see, this is the challenge. I was actually talking with Jake— Jake? Yeah, Jake from Walk the Talk America today. And we were talking about finding a good counselor. And whether it's a drug or a counselor or someone that can help you mentally, what is right for you is not necessarily gonna be what's right for me. And we have to remember, we have to keep looking for the thing that's gonna help us. Like I said, I just got through all of this hidden stress that I didn't realize was happening, but once it's off, I'm like, oh, I need to try not to get myself into that predicament again. So, all right, sorry, I'm looking at Chasing Ghosts and that's a lot. I'm assuming we're talking about your motorcycle accident. Yeah. And so when was this? Was this a year ago now, hon? Or was it a year and a half? I don't know. Anyway, Chasing Ghosts. Also known as Tara Smith's Kitchen, is she was in a car accident. No, sorry, car accident, motorcycle accident. It was last year, I thought, and it was not good, as you can read from here. Yeah. So I think at that point you get beyond the 10, you get into the out-of-body experience of I don't want to feel anything. And our bodies are actually amazing. Okay. Thank you, DJ. Um, because yeah, so we've been friends for over 2 years. That's what I now know because I just remember that. Um, so yeah, sorry, I got lost again. DJ, you got anything for me? Because my poor little brain just went blank.

Well, I, I think that Chasing Ghosts is absolutely right. It is way too subjective. And having the 'oh, me too' or 'really, but mine was' kind of examples— I mean, we all want a little bit of, um, you tea and sympathy for the pains that we go through, but we never know what someone else is going through. That's one of the reasons we're here, to make sure to remind ourselves and others that where someone else's head is might not be where we believe it to be.

So yeah, all right. Yeah, absolutely. And, and that is— it is like, um, in competition all the time, actually, uh, people are like, oh, I don't want to, um I'm not as good as somebody else. And I'm like, here's the deal. Your goal and my goal, no matter what it is, whether it's competition shooting, just our day-to-day life, it's like, I am not competing with you. I'm not trying to be better than you, whatever it is that you do. I need to be a little bit better today than I was yesterday. And I will say that this week I feel like I've grown by leaps and bounds. Because of finally getting to notice and realize that hidden stress that I like— I knew something was off, I knew something was off. I'm like, I can't seem to get stuff right, I feel like everything is missing, I'm not doing what I need to do, and I couldn't figure out how to move forward from that. So I was kind of stuck, and now that I'm on the other side of it, I'm like, ooh, I need to pay much more attention. What am I going to pay attention to? Well, am I saying my prayers every day? I have not done my morning and evening prayers in a long time. I remember one or the other, but I rarely do both. And I know for a fact I feel better when I wake up, do my meditation, do my prayers, and do all of that before bedtime so that I'm grateful and thankful for what's about to occur this day and then what has occurred that evening. So that's something I'm looking forward to getting back to. I want to make sure that I don't get in bad habits and bad ruts. And so for speaking of ruts and motorcycles, for those of you who do dirt biking like I used to, we know how much we don't like ruts. Ruts are bad. I know Moo said trees will mess you up, but ruts are also not fun. So, um, oh, Why did I said the color of the shoulder is a red light— is a light red? Well, okay, light red, pink, whatever. Ah, you just be that way, G23. And I have to apologize to you, sir, um, it's not up yet because I opened them and I put them down and I don't know where they are right now. So you will get up there, I just don't know when because I'm cleaning my house and the holidays are here. So hopefully I will find them soon, but I don't know. I ever said thank sending me all your stickers and your patches and all of that. But I wanted to show everyone, but I figured I'd let you know I did at least get them. All right, um, back to Tara. I'm like, yeah, I totally get that laughing. I laugh when I am super stressed. I laugh in the most inappropriate times ever. And like, my husband gets mad because I will be laughing and it is the wrong time to be laughing. Um, so yeah, I totally get that. All right, well, you know, D23 is going to one-up us by breaking his back and laughing about it. So anyway, all right everybody, it is almost half an hour, which is longer than I usually go, but it's sort of like the most exciting thing. And this is what happens. And DJ will tell you that we talked earlier, and it's just like he was so happy to hear me smiling and stuff. And it wasn't that I was unhappy all the previous month, months that all of this stuff was going on, but I wasn't as, uh, excited, happy to do everything. All right, sir, anything on our exit?

Uh, just want to make sure you did put G23's comment up there, but I need to say hello to G23 because I hadn't done that yet. So until I see everybody again, please be safe, have fun, take care of your crew, And rock.

All right. And yes, GT3, I'm gonna start going back to getting some, uh, what are they called, interviews on here. So we will go and get a couple 45-minute to an hour, I promise, before the end of the year. Um, but anyway, all right, good night everybody. We will see you next week. And for those of you who are around, thank you, Ron Wayne. Um, and Moo, I'm assuming you just have to like drop a link so we can find out what the hot chip you're talking about. Um, all right, for real, now the barbecue's here, we can all leave and stop talking about him. All right, thank you for the 9th thumbs up, Barbecue. Better late than never. And for those of you headed off to— where are we going?

Uh, the Hillbilly Hub channel for guns, beer, and therapy.

Guns, beer, and therapy. Uh, and I'm not gonna be there because I need some sleep. But love y'all and see you all next time.