Suicide Prevention Saturday - Hilly Billy Up is our Guest tonight

Hi everyone, it is Suicide Prevention Saturday. Why are we here? Well, because 2 out of every 3 gun deaths the CDC tells you about are suicides. And if we are truly looking to save lives, we need to make sure we talk about suicide prevention, mental health, and violence prevention. Because guess what? They kind of all run hand in hand. If you notice, we've changed colors today. Why? Because it's Christmas time. And so we've got green behind me and we've got red here and I'm wearing white. So we've got best colors of whatever that's called, Christmas. So for my present to you guys, the weekend here before Christmas is I brought on a special guest. And with that, I'm gonna see— there, there he is. See, I keep forgetting this way. So anyway, everybody, welcome, warm welcome to American Hillbilly. And that's about how he says it. Hey, Hillbilly approval now.

Great job, great job. I couldn't have done any better myself. Good job.

You sure you can't?

Yeah, I mean, okay, I'll try it.

Okay, go ahead.

Hello everybody, this is American Hillbilly.

Yeah, see, I forgot the laugh at the end, man. I forgot the laugh at the end. That's one of my favorite things is like the laughter that you bring. So, all right, so for those of you who have not been over there yet to American Hillbilly's, uh, channel over here on YouTube, he has a show called Guns, Beer, and Therapy. And that's all I got, man. What else do you do?

Ain't got a little logo here.

Oh, I have not seen that before. Yeah, I did not know.

You betcha. Oh my goodness. Well, thank you so much for having me on. Um, I mailed that check. You should be getting it for too long. You know, the— I paid you to let me be on here, so thank you very much. I appreciate that.

We're— no one's above bribery around here because we got a big audience of at least 12 or 13 folks here tonight.

Well They're all awesome people, there's no doubt about that. I love watching your show. Um, I have to watch reruns quite a bit of times just because you come on right before, uh, Guns, Beer, and Therapy, my show. And so most usually I'm like back there trying to get, you know, everything all set up. And of course we got the panels, all the guests, they're in the green room, they're just, you know, making a mess. You got to feed them and, you know, clean up after them. So You know, but I always love your show. Um, well, you know, always catch the rewinds every time. So I appreciate all that you do.

Thank you, thank you. See, this is— see, he said that I'm gonna be getting his check, but really I'm gonna be getting a check that I gotta send to him for all the nice things that he's saying. So, you know, it'll be a wash in the mail eventually here.

It is almost Christmas time. I'm excited.

I know. And, and I'm just gonna say this now, I know I said we're talking about at the end, but right after this show, if you just pop on over to the American Hillbilly, uh, YouTube channel, then, uh, he's doing a big giveaway tonight. So that's— yeah, yeah, we'll, we'll, uh, we'll tease people now at Guns, Beer, and Therapy. So Hillbilly here has been doing his show for a little over a year. I kind of— I don't know, DJ. DJ's the reason that I probably found out about you.

Our buddy DJ.

Oh yeah, nobody has the voice. No one has a DJ voice.

Awesome guy. I mean, with a wonderful voice, but I wouldn't care if he sounded like Minnie Mouse or Mickey Mouse. He's still just an awesome guy, you know.

For sure. So, but, um, yeah, so he, he introduced me to you a little bit before you got to your 1,000 subscribers. Yeah, back in September, or is that when it happened? Okay, all right.

Yeah, yeah, we, uh, I had started my, my channel— oh man, it was after the shutdown, um, and I really didn't know this type of stuff existed on YouTube. The only time I went to YouTube is like, you know, when I was trying to fix or, you know, wash a machine or refrigerator. I get on there like, okay, what part do I need? You know, try to watch a little instructional video or something, you know. And because, you know, us guys, or especially around here, we try to fix everything ourselves and then we end up paying more money for some— for a professional to come out and fix it, you know, after that. So anyway, um, after shutdown, I got watching more YouTube and stuff. And of course, I've always been a big gun person, you know, from a young age. I grew up in a gun family, uh, hunting, you know, fishing, all that stuff. And, um, so I started learning, like, man, there's actually content on here way better than what I'm seeing on TV nowadays. So I'm like, I'm gonna be watching and checking out people's channels, learning more about this, you know, stuff. And I like— I just got hooked up and, uh, watching stuff. And I told my wife, I'm like, man, I'm really enjoying this. I said, I think I could probably do a video or two. And she goes, well, if you do a video or something, that means you're not in the house bugging me, so I'm all for it.

But you impersonate your wife. I, I saw that. It hasn't been there. You need to go to Hillbilly's channel and look up the video on the purse. I don't think it's purse carry. I think that's in the, in the, uh, in the whatever that's called. Yeah, no, title thing. So yes, so yeah, so yeah, so it's pretty exciting because I got to meet Hillbilly as he's going up to his 1,000 subscribers. And he set himself a goal for to get from that, hmm, maybe I'm going to do a video to I'm going to see if I get 1,000 subscribers within a year from when he made that decision, not from that first video he decided he'd try to make.

I believe I had 3 videos out or 4, something like that, like spread way out.

And so it's one of those things where it's just like, I always say this. Okay, what does this have to do with suicide prevention? Well, here's the deal. When you set yourself goals, you have something to do. And when you have something to do, you have something to focus on other than whatever pain and suffering you may or may not be going through right now. Because I know I ramble a lot on this show and we never know quite where it's going. And he'll be— I also don't know where it's quite going. We've had some conversation before this, but we'll see what happens tonight. But one of the things is setting goals helps you. The other thing, sorry, I had to reach for my candy cane since we're talking about Christmas and all. So now I've got really red, white, and green going. But we did talk about the fact that Guns, Beer, and Therapy for the most part is a very lighthearted, fun show. And from time to time though, we got to talk about the hard things because it does say therapy in there a little bit.

Yeah.

And so, Hillbilly, if you would please let folks know sort of where the Guns, Beer, and Therapy— like, what's the therapy part? Because most people know what guns are, most people know what beer is, and oh, they have a vendetta against seltzer. That's also something.

Yeah, yeah, I—

that against seltzer.

I'm pretty rough on seltzer over there.

But, um, what, what made you come up with the idea of Guns, Beer, and Therapy? Guns, Beer, and Therapy. And like I said, more on the therapy side of things because I know you like playing with guns and we can see lots of that on your channel for sure, and it's a lot of fun. So the therapy part to me watching you is just the amount of fun that you have doing your videos and listen to that laugh of yours.

Oh, thank you, Brooke. Uh, yeah, I mean, ah, our old noggin, it's always going to be turning. You know. And so, uh, to keep it on the right direction, fun and laughter, man, that's good for the body, it's good for the soul. And so the therapy part is, for me, is having fun. Because if people can watch my videos or be on my, uh, live show, watch our live show, if they can be laughing, if they can be having fun that takes their mind off of all the stuff that's going on in the world, um, to escape for a little bit and just have a good time. And that's one of the parts, you know, about it that I always try to really strongly push is just being able to have fun, to, uh, you know, make somebody's day better. I say that in all my videos, you know. I can't hear you, girl. He's trying to fool me. The little thing was muted half the time, so yeah, that's fine. You had me on here, there's a good chance, yeah, somebody, one of us is going to be muted, probably. No doubt about that.

Yeah, I, I did see a couple of those videos where people are like, hey, uh, however, like, how long is he gonna go before he realizes he's muted? But yeah, so make somebody's day, make your day a little better. And then the way that you close out almost all your videos that I've watched to the end, because I'm not gonna lie, I don't watch all of them to the end. But, you know, if the creek don't rise, the good work— with that good Lord willing, I'll see you again soon kind of thing.

Yeah.

And earlier, before we hopped on here, we're talking about life in general, if we have it in the right order of God first, family second, career third, our lives tend to be a lot, lot better. And it's one of those things I talked about here. It's like, yes, I'm a Christian and I believe in God, but I just know from all of the studies I've done, you don't have to be a Christian. I'm not telling you have to be like me, but you need to have a belief system. Because you need to believe in something that is bigger than you. And, um, so I just love the fact that you even talk about God because so many people don't even mention the G-man, uh, because for fear of, you know, whatever. And so it's one of those things. Of course, we're already talking about guns, so we're already on the fringe. So there's that.

Yeah, and that's something I try to touch on every one of my videos, um, You know, really, a person should try to set, uh, priorities, you know. And, you know, when I talk about, you know, God, family, and country, um, if you kind of keep those in line, you're like, you know, some people's like, man, they're, you know, not much more important than my family. But, you know, if God's leading you, then, you know, it's going to help your family situation. You know, and you have to put those before everything else, you know, your career, whatever. And so, you know, just about lining up those priorities, you know, that's, you know, what helps me personally, right?

I was actually just listening to a, a book today because I was driving a lot today. That's why I didn't get your text until like 3 hours later or 5 hours later, I don't remember. But, um, yeah, it's one of those things, we have moments in our lives And he's like, this may sound morbid. However, imagine for a moment that you're on your deathbed right now and you're about to die. It's like, what are your regrets? Is it working too much? Is it not spending enough time with your family? Is it not going to church enough? Is it whatever it is, you're still alive and you're not on your deathbed. So how do you fix those things? And I think a lot of us think we have more time than we do. I mean, I'm over a half century old over here and I've made it through half a century. My plan is another 70 years, by the way, because in the Bible it says, God said I have 120 years. So that's my plan.

Try to claim every one of those. You betcha.

I'm like, but the reality of it is we never know. We do not. No day is planned. And when we're talking about suicide, Here's our challenge is the person who is contemplating suicide generally thinks the world is a better place without them, and the reality of it is it's not. And they don't realize that, but they're in so much pain and so much suffering that they are looking for the escape of their pain and suffering, but then they will, uh, push it out onto others. As if they're making a sacrifice for the other people. And the reason I know this is because I was suicidal as a teen, and I was struggling with depression. I was pretty sure that I wasn't worth the air that I was breathing, and life would be easier if I were dead. And just that statement alone is like, see how you're not in your right mind when you're thinking about suicide because life would be better if you were just dead? Yeah, life is over when you're dead. So, um, the good news was like I did the deathbed thing and I'm like, my suicidal thoughts were so much of the fact of, hmm, when I kill myself, no one's going to come to my funeral anyway. So maybe I shouldn't kill myself because I don't have anybody come to my funeral. So, uh, it's kind of ridiculous the stuff that we think when we're in that place.

Yeah, because you're not in your right state of mind when those, when those thoughts are going through. Yeah. Yeah.

And, uh, all right, so this is where we're gonna jump in a little bit. You told me that you do have some experience with that. Not you, I don't know. I don't, I didn't ask you that question directly, but you've had, uh, friends or family around you that have died from suicide and Were you okay with talking about some of that?

Yeah, just a minute. It says down here on the bottom of the screen, are you in a crisis? Call the 800 number. Brooke's put me on the spot here. It kind of feels like a crisis. I mean, thank goodness you, uh, post that number there, you know, and the 211. Great, great.

Then 988, 988, that's the newest one at the end. So federally, everywhere in— and actually, I should change that to not say federally because I think people think they're calling the feds if they call.

You're gonna be talking to one of the ATF or something.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure none of us wanted to be doing that anytime soon.

So, but yeah, um, so for my dealing with it is, uh, I have, uh, suffered from anxiety and stuff, and I think You know, a lot of people throughout their life, they'll suffer some, you know, from some point maybe of anxiety or depression depending on what's going on with their life. And, uh, for me personally, um, you know, I have, uh, friends that's from, uh, basically, you know, different families, maybe different incomes. And sorry, cat hair want to say hi to everybody.

All right, wait, wait, hold on, hold on. Let me, let me make you big. Oh wait, so now everyone can see the cat better.

Yeah, ever since she started watching those Grumpy Cat videos, she's been wanting to get on YouTube. So anyway, you're not, you're not a superstar, girl.

You never know, she might have a plushy name.

But, um, you know, I've had several friends that's, you know, I grew up with, uh, um, and they've ended up, uh committing suicide. And, you know, a lot of them had, you know, uh, you know, wife, married, had kids and stuff. But, you know, something, you know, evidently just went wrong in their life that they thought that they just couldn't handle it. Um, and you really— it's so hard to see something like that happening, uh, you know, with people. Um, I think a lot of times people are too scared to say anything because they're like, you know, if I say anything, then, you know, people's gonna think I'm crazy, or, you know, uh, you know, they're gonna put me away, you know, you know, whatever. I don't know exactly what goes through, um, you know, certain people's heads. Of course, we can't speak for everybody. But it's really here because we want to talk about it more.

So people realize, A, they're not alone. Because without a doubt, I know when I went to group therapy, it made a huge difference to me to understand I'm not the only one struggling with this stuff. And so absolutely.

Yeah. And if you're dealing with, you know, anxiety or some type of a mental, um, I, I don't really say— I don't know how to word this, but, you know, it might be a disability, at least for that time, or whatever the case might be.

It's definitely overwhelming without—

you cannot, you cannot see that physically. So if somebody was, say for instance, in a wheelchair or something like that, and they weren't able to do something You can physically see, okay, this person's not capable of physically doing that. And what happens a lot of times is people feel the same way. They might not be capable of doing something or dealing with something, but it's not on the outside. You cannot see it. And so they feel awkward, you know, even though they might be reaching out to a few people here and there, uh, you know, it might— if it might be family or friends, uh, whatever the case might be, uh, most people are, um, not equipped really to handle that stuff. Uh, sometimes they'll be, you know, try to, you know, try to help and might be doing the wrong thing. Um, you know, whatever the case might be, but it's something that you can't physically see, so it's, it's hard to, uh deal with, with somebody else.

And actually, that's why I'm pointing at the number is because here's that— that is the other phone call that I get from people or instant message or all of that on Facebook is someone— I'm worried about someone. What do I do? And even if you're the one who's just worried about someone, call the 988 number, call the 211 number in your state and ask, what resources are available. Because if someone comes to us like, oh, they're coming to me, I have to fix this. I have to figure out how to do this. I'm like, are you a therapist?

No.

Are you too close to them? Probably if they're coming to you. And if you're not, I mean, this is one of the things veterans are, are, I hate to say this, they are the number one as far as they're the most likely to commit suicide. Veterans in America are 2 or 3 times as likely to commit suicide over you and me who are not in this. And I know we talk military all the time, but when we talk about this, we're also talking about first responders. Believe it or not, veterinarians are also really high on the list of people who commit suicide because, you know, they have, you know, the families that go and decide they're going to move and don't want to take their cat, and their cat is perfectly healthy, and they're like, put them down, and stuff like that. So it's, it's all— there's so much in life that is hard and challenging, and I think we're all expecting ourselves to be Superman or Wonder Woman and be able to do it all. And when we feel that overwhelm, uh, we don't want to tell anybody that we're overwhelmed. Because that's embarrassing. And shouldn't we be able to handle it ourselves? Because I'll look at Hillbilly, like, he's got 1,000 subscribers, obviously he's better than me. I suck compared to him. Well, you said have fun, so, you know. But it's just like— or the only time you hear Hillbilly is Hillbilly and his laugh. There you go. And you think, all right, wow, that's awesome. He's got a great life, he's happy all the time. But we all have challenges. Like, um, if I'm allowed to, can I go into your past a little bit? You betcha. What do you know? But I mean, you, you've been through multiple businesses, uh, failed and succeeded and succeeded and failed. And it's just like everyone has that, but people don't usually talk about their failures. And, um, with 1,000 subs on YouTube It's a stepping stone. It's something that is another success. And again, back to the thing I was listening to in the car today about the special moments in your life. It's like, we are not good about celebrating one another so much. And, um, that is another reason why I love going on to American Hillbilly's channel. If all I do is click at the beginning of every one of his videos and it says, Hey America, this is American Hillbilly. And, and that's enough to put a smile on my face and listen to that laugh. And it's like, these are the things, like we're talking about the happiness, but you don't know what you need necessarily when you're in those dark places.

Yeah. And it's all about, you know, I say, you know, all the time and, you know, on my videos, you know, make somebody's day better. Because you don't know what that person's going through, you know. It don't matter if it's grocery store or what, but when you talk about, uh, celebrating, um, things, you know, milestones, or something happens in your life, um, I tell people all the time, you make somebody's day better and it don't cost you a doggone cent, you know. Your buddy, your neighbor, you know, uh, family member, you know, they, they, you know, just got a different car, might not be a new car, but something they're proud of, man, go out there and brag on it. If they got a new set of tires, you know, talk about their tires, you know. I mean, whatever it is, you know, uh, you, you can help people by building them up, uh, and it don't cost nothing, uh, you know. I mean, I don't say you just gotta, you know, lie to them or anything, you know, but there's things you can say you find good about a lot of people, um, if you just look. And it's really hard for us, uh, especially it seems like a lot of times in these days, you know, you always hear that these days, you know, I'm sure our grandparents and great-grandparents is like, oh, these days, you know. Um, but there's a lot of stuff around us, um, you know, it don't matter if you're on Facebook or, you know, the internet, or, you know, just going to the grocery store, you know, there's going to be negative people around us, and because they're not feeling good about their life and stuff. So everybody has that coming at them. So, you know, if you can just, you know, want, you know, every day, one time, once a day at least, you know, try to, uh, make somebody's day better, then, you know, you're accomplishing something. And that might mean something really big, uh, you know, in their life, something they really just needed at that moment. And there's lots of times, you know, I feel like God guides me to text or call somebody and just say, hey, how you doing? You know, um, because you have no idea what, what they're going through, you know. And just a simple little 2-minute conversation might make a difference in somebody's life.

I do try to say that from time to time here, is like, if you all of a sudden are thinking about someone, go ahead and give them a call. Yeah. And it's one of those things, like, I know, like, my high school friends I went back to my high school reunion a couple— I go back often, and I asked them one time, like, most of my classmates, I'm like, did you guys have any idea I was depressed at all? They're like, no, you're like the all-American girl. You play varsity soccer and went off to skiing for Olympics, and then all of this stuff. And it's just like, okay. And this is the thing is like, people are like, well, how can you tell? How can you figure out? Like Hillary was talking about earlier, that he had friends who were husbands, fathers, brothers, sons. And that's the thing I think you forget when you're in that place, but when you're gone, there's this huge void and most people don't see it coming. It's like the jock, the cheerleader, Miss Popular, all Mr. Popular, all of that. It's like, oh, they've got everything they need. And many people are jealous of whoever they are, and they're inside a total disaster, and you can't see it on the outside. You can't see the physical stuff. And, um, actually part of today, as I was at the Wadsworth Atheneum here in Hartford where we donated two Christmas trees, which I think you'll see last week, and one of them is, uh, the It's, it's called a cartridge in a pear tree. And so I, I, I decorated it with pictures of pears and pictures of cartridges because I think the museum would have heart failure if I brought actual bullets in there. So, but on that tree it has Walk the Talk America, a bunch of different services that are available, vets and all of that sort of stuff. And right like 2 trees down is another one that's on mental health awareness. And until we talk about it more, then it's hard for us to think that anything is going to happen positively in that way. So, um, so because you've dealt with this, when the suicides happened, what did you really notice? Like, how did people respond? Because that's the other thing that I think a lot of folks don't understand. It's like, what happens after the suicide? How— it was like, yeah, I'm gonna shut up for a minute and let you talk now.

Well, I mean, most usually what you hear is like, you know, people say, wow, I had no idea. I mean, I think that's the biggest part of it, you know, is like, I had no idea that, uh, he's even having troubles or problems, you know. If I would have known, you you know, I would have reached out to him, you know, or something like that. And I think that as a society, um, people feel like shameful, you know, if they're feeling like that. And they feel like if you're going to reach out, try to reach out to somebody, everybody's going to look at you like, whoa, you know, you're weird, dude, you know. I, you know, you're totally weird, you know, you're an outcast. But that's not the truth, that when people's in these states of mind— because, um, with me dealing with anxiety, there's time like you're not thinking things clear, you know. It's kind of like, uh, I want to call maybe tunnel vision, you know. You're seeing one thing, you know, through a tunnel and you're not paying attention on what all's going on around you, um, because you're so focused on one thing that you can't, um, see or hear other things. And be honest with you, uh, most of the time what you're focused on is yourself. I mean, you know, it's a very self— I mean, in my situation, I know, like, it's a selfish, uh, type of deal because you think you're thinking of everybody else, but really deep and down, you're, you know, pretty much your— all your thoughts, everything's on yourself.

Yeah, we talked about that a little bit a week or two ago. And it's just like, when you're in distress, the best thing you can do is go help someone else. Because it gets you out of, oh, poor me. And at the same time, you can do too much of that, where the only thing you do is help take care of other people. Versus dealing with the stuff that's inside of you. So, well, I'll make you smaller. Oh, now you're tiny. But anyway, yeah, suicide for me also is a very selfish thing. I know from my personal experience that I was definitely only thinking about me and the pain that I was in. I was really sure that everything sucked. I sucked, everything around me sucked, nobody liked me, everyone hate— not that everyone hated me, but no one would notice if I was gone. And that was sort of the big thing for me, um, when I was a teen, because I'm just like, yeah, I just am tired of being alone. And here's the other thing a lot of people don't get. It's like when you see Mr. Popular, Miss Popular in high school or wherever, and then they commit suicide, and everyone's like, oh, what happened? What happened? It's like, there are so many of us out there who can feel totally alone in a huge room of people, and we have a smile on our face, and we're saying hi to everybody, and everyone's saying hi to us. But like, uh, Hillbilly was just talking about anxiety, and I have crazy social anxiety in that I will be invited to a party and I'm like, when I was a teen, all I wanted was someone to pay attention to me and make sure that I felt like I was actually someone. And that made me feel important that someone invite me. Now, when I, uh, go to a party, I'm like, no one's going to want to talk to me. Nobody's— I'm not— it's just, why would anyone want me to go? And I like get all freaked out that I'm like, No one's going to talk to me. I'm going to be ignored and all of that. And it's like, I get to the party and I have a great time and it's so much very fun. So it's, it's like, that's the kind of anxiety I think a lot of people don't understand. I'm like, like I said, once I get there, yay, I have a great time. But getting there, the, uh, the mental gymnastics that occur, it's not as bad as it used to be, but it was really bad in my 20s and 30s. But, you know, there's, like you said, the stuff that you don't see. And, uh, the biggest thing you can do is get out of your own way.

Yeah. Yeah. And I mean, I totally understand what you're saying about being in a room full of people. I know, like, we go out to, you know, the high school, watch basketball game or whatever, you know, I was surrounded by a lot of people, and a lot of them were family and friends., you know, I felt like just focused on myself and what is in my head and my feelings and my anxiety that I forgot to have fun, you know. I mean, you know, it's like could have been laughing and having fun. And, um, one thing I heard a story about with anxiety, and it's, uh, something that I've always kind of thought and it's helped me through, is, uh, a lady that um, she had wrote a book, all the stuff about anxiety, and, uh, she overcame it, is they went skiing one time and she was scared to death, but she's like, I'm gonna do this, I want to do it, you know, um, I know it's going to be fun, it's something I always want to do. But then she had anxiety, so got top of the mountain, you know, they took, uh, you know, the short slope down or whatever, you know, the beginners or whatever., and she was like skiing. Yeah, she was like skiing, and she's like all freaking out, worried about her anxiety. It was so scary as she's going, this and that. And there's this other lady friend that was with her, and she's just laughing and having fun falling down, you know, blah blah blah. And so when they got to the bottom, she actually said, you know, oh my goodness, that was so scary. And she goes, yeah, I know, it was really scary. She goes, but you were laughing and stuff. She goes, yeah, I was having fun though. I mean, and she goes, then it dawned on me, we both had the same anxiety, we just dealt, dealt with it in two different ways. She was having fun with hers and I was having a miserable time with mine, you know. And so, you know, a lot of times that's what happens.

And yeah, no, Tony Robbins actually talks about that. Because if you've ever heard of him, he's a— I don't know, he's a coach. And he deals with lots of people. And he will talk to— like, one of the things he does is help people with stage fright and that sort of stuff. And there are people, and I don't remember exactly who, but like, he's like, he would talk to them before they go on stage. And he'd have one client. And they'd be like, my hands get sweaty, my heart beats really fast, my mouth really gets dry, and I'm just like, I've got butterflies in my stomach and I'm ready to throw up and I need to overcome that. And that's someone that he's helping reframe that. And then he's got people who are peak state and happy to do what they're doing. And I'll say, oh yeah, man, my hands get all sweaty, my mouth gets really dry, my heart's pumping. And I feel like I'm gonna throw up, and I just can't wait because I'm just so excited. And one of the things that, like, the story you just said is like, it's the same darn thing. We, you and I, get to choose what meanings we attach to that. And I think a lot of us have never been told we have the choice, and we have to work that little muscle up there to make sure we're making a better choice that, well, we're here let's do the best we can with it and have as much fun as we can, because laughter is certainly the best medicine, without a doubt. And having fun— I mean, one of the things that bugs me about our education system is that about 4th grade is it. They're done. They're done playing in school. They're done having fun. And it's just like, I don't know how old you are. You don't have to tell me. But it's just like, at some age, we seem to stop running and playing and playing tag and exercising and having fun. And everything becomes a grind. And I'm like, it shouldn't be a grind. We need to make sure we make someone's day. And it's super easy if you make eye contact with somebody and just smile at them. Like DJ always says, if you don't see one, be one. He says it different, but anyway, I still chase my wife around the house. Well, yeah. Okay.

With your broken foot? Yeah, I'm married up.

I have to. Well, but that just is like, it's like you can complain about everything or you can look for the good in everything. And we are trained. Our brain says, what's dangerous? What's going to kill us? We got to remember all the bad things. And so we have to work hard to retrain it to, ooh, what can I enjoy? What can I have fun with? How can I make someone's day super easy, super simple? And how can I make my day better? Because if you and I are in a good place, it's a lot easier to smile and have fun. And so that's, that's what I got for y'all today. That's my brain. That's, I'm like, fun is fun and everyone should do it as much as we possibly can.

Hillbilly helps everybody do that. Well, like, if you don't mind me saying something, um, if you're talking about, uh, being a kid, um, running around playing, you know, you don't have a whole lot of worries in life and everything. And, you know, that's kind of like the natural state of mind that we're blessed with. And then as we get older, you know, we have more problems come on and stuff. I think eventually, um not all of us, but as an adult, stuff goes on, we train— like, we train ourselves, we turn our thought and mind, um, looking on the, uh, the worries and the problems and stuff like that. And I think that, um, the same way as we train our minds to that point, we can also, if we're willing to do it, to train our minds to look on the good stuff and be happy, you know. Um, it's just as— it's just the same thing but just in reverse. Even though you have bills or whatever, I mean, you know, you're always going to have those, but there's so many good times that we need to focus on. And it's really hard as an adult to get ourselves trained back the other way. And one thing the good Lord's blessed us with is We can— it takes less muscles in your body to smile than it does to frown. And what they found out, known for many years, the endorphins and stuff that your body releases when you're happy and you're smiling and you're in a good mood is good for your body. And so, you know, it's just better being happy and smiling and all that stuff um, for you mentally, physically, and everything.

So absolutely.

And ready?

We're going to go to more biology. There is a thing in your brain called the reticular activating system, also known as R-A-T. I call it the rat, the rat in your head. You get to train it like it's going through a maze. And, um, what happens is you do get to train it. You have to decide what the cheese for the rat is. So R-A-S, not R-A-T. Anyway, obviously I can't spell, but that's okay, the idea will still be there. So your reticular activating system is this: I'm going to tell you that Corvettes are my favorite car, and then I'm going to send you a postcard with a Corvette on it, and then I'm going to send you a book all about Corvettes because I love Corvettes because they are my favorite car ever in the entire world. I love some more than others, but basically those are my favorites. And so now, because I just talked to you about Corvettes in 3 different ways, if I actually had a picture of a Corvette to show you, if it were summertime here in New England— down in Florida and those warmer places, you guys have them around all the time— but here's the thing, your reticular activating system now will go forth And you'll notice that the next time you see a Corvette, you're actually going to think of me. And this is not like hocus pocus or hypnotherapy or any of that sort of stuff. We have parts of our brain, the reticular activating system, that we can program what we're looking for and to put something else attached to it. So Joseph McClendon, another guy I listen to, like Hillbilly, if you want to see a fun guy He's over on Instagram, but Joseph McClendon III is always happy and bubbly and ready to go and make you laugh hysterically. And he just, he told a story about his niece and his niece did what I just told you, which was sent him a letter saying how much she loved pug dogs and then sent him another letter about how much she loved pug dogs and then talked to him on the phone and talked about how much he— she loved pug dogs. And then all of a sudden he just noticed everywhere he went there were pug dogs. Now, was there a small explosion of pug dogs? No. Our brain deletes most of the things around us all of the time. And then when we decide to find something like a pug dog, all of a sudden we'll see it, or like a Corvette. So like Hillbilly was just saying, we have to decide what we're going to look for and make sure that we do that. Because if we don't make the decision for us, we have all sorts of stuff like our horrible news media and all of that that will tell us how horrible life is. Or we can choose what we're going to pay attention to. Like here on YouTube, when we get to choose what channels we look at and see what stuff we want to be interviewed with, or interviewed with, entertained with. I know some of the words some of the time. So did you know about the reticular activating system, Hillbilly?

Uh, yeah, I mean, I, I've known it, um, same way like if somebody gets a car, Jeep or whatever, they just start noticing Jeeps, or, you know, um, you know, so that is definitely a deal that happens to your brain. And same way, if you get stuck on something— I'm just going to use the words, you know, dark side or whatever— then, you know, you keep your focus on that, you know, then that's what's going to be, you know, zoned in on your brain. And, uh, sometimes when people, you know, when these numbers running down here below the screen right here. Yeah, right there. Um, yeah, I will tell you this, you can just do this little test yourself. You can think in your mind, uh, just anything simple, you know, pink elephant, pink elephant, pink elephant, pink elephant. Just think that in your mind, in your mind. But then as soon as you talk, you cannot think that because your mind has to stop for a second to think about what you're saying. And so that's one little, like, tidbit that you can get those— if your mind's going in the wrong direction, you can actually speak to break that up, and you can talk about good stuff, um, just like Brooke was saying, you know, about the Corvette or the Pug, you know, and it's going to change your mind in a whole different direction.

Right. So here's the challenge with this, right? When you're in that dark area, when you're not—

I'm thinking about hard seltzer.

Hard seltzer.

Hard seltzer.

No, not hard seltzer. We are not as resourceful as we could be when we're stuck in a bad place. And so understanding what the tools are you can use is part of it. Remembering to use the tools is the other part of it. Because the saying that is knowing is half the battle, like, no, knowing is about a quarter of the battle, because the doing the work to be able to do the thing is the rest of the battle.

But I think I challenge everybody out there that's watching this, or listening. When I say make somebody's day better, set that as a goal. Every day, I don't care what time of day it is or who it is, put it in your mind, in your old noggin right there, that you're going to do something that day to make somebody's day better. You're going to be looking for something to do that day, you know, just one time a day. It can be, you know, a phone call, a nice word, um, you know, you're at the grocery store and all the shopping buggies are out there in the parking lot, you know, take yours and a few others back up there. The, you know, poor guy or girl's got to go out there and collect all them buggies. You know, you're gonna make their day better. So when you start doing that, you're going to be retraining your mind, and before you know it, you're going to be able to do one just real simple, and then you're like, you're going to see another opportunity because you're looking for these opportunities now. And you know, I'm going to hold the door open. I, you know, I'm going to run up there and hold the door open for this person or whatever. And you will start doing more and more and more, and you will get yourself— your mind off of yourself and onto others.

And, uh, it's a good thing. Yeah. And it's like, you can start small. Um, it can literally be making eye contact with somebody and smile. And here's the thing, if they don't smile back, do not take it personally. For real. This, this, this is one of those things. Sometimes they may not see you even though you will think you're looking directly in their eyes.

I have to interrupt you for a second, Brooke, because that all kind of matters. Because if you're with your wife, be careful of who you're making eye contact with because it can get you in trouble.

All right, well, point taken. Beware of your audience. But yeah, so there is a thing called the visual scotoma where you can look at something and you're not actually seeing it. And it happens to me every time I'm in the grocery store. I will be looking for something and I'm going to look for the salt and I swear I'm in the spice aisle and I see pepper and I ask somebody next to me and they reach out directly in front of me and it's like, here's the salt. So just know, just because you try, if you try and fail, keep trying. It's okay. You'll, you'll get someone to smile back. Um, as a woman, I think it's definitely easier for me to look and smile at people in general because yes, dudes get in trouble or you can get in trouble. So yes, I'm not out here to get y'all in trouble, but the grocery clerks, oh my goodness. It's like if you actually watch, I mean, and you stand there at Kroger or whatever food stuff you have in your area, and you actually look at the lines and the people. And here in New England, they all look cranky and mad. I'm not going to lie. Between the clerks, the baggers, and the people standing in line. But it's like you make eye contact with just one person, say, oh, I like your whatever, because that's what I do. I'm like, oh, those are really cool shoes. Or like, if a girl's got her nails done, I'm like, oh, that's really cool color. Or just something simple. It's like the way that most people light up is amazing. Now, I did have one guy run away from me in the grocery store, so I'm not sure, but in general it usually works out well.

My goodness. Yeah, my wife, all the time I'm asking her, hey sweetie, where's this at or that at, you know? So come in there and like I said, it'll be right there or something. She tells me, she goes, one of these days you're gonna be pulling up front, you're gonna call me and say, sweetie, Where's the— where's the house at? You know, and I mean, you know, it's like, got other stuff on my mind, you know, and stuff. But yeah, you're exactly right. You're trying to focus on something and you can't find it.

Well, you're talking about our brain. Our brain does play tricks on us for sure. So, all right, so it— we've been on here for yapping for 50 minutes, so you got a show you got to go do, and We got to invite everybody to it. So with that, why don't you tell everybody all what's happening at 10 o'clock Eastern time on Hillbilly Nation?

Yeah, so every Saturday night, um, right here on Guns, Beer, and Therapy on my channel Hillbilly Up, uh, we have a live show podcast and, you know, side chat and stuff. And so we always have a lot of fun there. Well, anyway, tonight on the 23rd, we're gonna be doing a Christmas giveaway. And so, uh, I always try to give like, you know, you might call it a door prize or whatever. Every show, you know, I give away a knife or something, you know. And but this— but tonight, but tonight we're going to be giving away, you know, multiple stuff. Uh, there's been people, friends of the channel, people on the panel, you know, gonna donate, you know, a few things here and there. And so we're just gonna have fun like we always do. That's one thing about it is we always try to have fun and make somebody's day better. So if you get a chance, jump on over. It's, uh, 9 o'clock Central, 10 o'clock Eastern every Saturday night. On Hillbilly Up Guns, Beer, and Therapy. And we just try to have a great time. Everybody's welcome, and we talk about all kinds of stuff. That's why I named it Guns, Beer, and Therapy, because we'll talk about guns a little bit. We don't really talk about beer much, but every now and then we might talk about beer.

You do hate on hard seltzer though.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, we, uh We mainly, we talk about cars, we talk about music. Yeah, we have a pretty big, uh, topic area, and that's what makes it so fun, I believe. Because yeah, we all might be together in a 2A community, but they're like, oh man, we get talking about cars and it's like, oh, you had this when you turned 16? So did I, or whatever. So it brings a whole nother side together of people, you know. And same way with music, we have so much fun. And every time DJ's on there, you know, especially, you know, I always like have him, like, hey buddy, come up with the music topic, you know. And he comes up with some awesome ones, you know.

So that's his favorite thing after all. Yeah. And then like, and hunting, hunting's another thing. And oh yeah, side-by-sides and, and even the knives that you give away talk about that. Yeah, Hillbilly's got a much longer attention span than I do because he goes on for like 2 hours.

Well, it's hard to stop when you're having so much fun.

I mean, I will, I will let everyone know when I'm a panel member over there, it's maybe for an hour and usually I'm out because I'm around this time. So, um, all right, so yeah, so well, thank you so much for coming on. And everybody runs over to his channel, uh, go check out the celebration of giving stuff away because like we've been talking about in this whole show, doing stuff for others is so much fun. And this time of year is very awesome because you can give the gift of your smile, um, and it doesn't have to be— or a phone call or a text or a note perhaps, not just a like a Christmas card but an actual note. So there's lots of ways to give, um, that doesn't cost you anything, or it costs you just a little, like a stamp or something. So I hope y'all check out Hillbilly's— Hillbilly— oh, I always want to say Hillbilly Nation because you always tell everybody welcome.

Yeah, and, uh, yeah, Hillbilly Nation, and because that's what, um, as a group, that's what we are, you know. Uh, and the reason I chose is because I am an actual hillbilly, grew up in those Ark Mountains. Um, but also we learned to kind of just, uh, live off the land, you know, uh, take care of ourselves and stuff. And so, uh, yeah, I feel like also in the 2A community, you know, there's a lot of the same deal and You know, the reason I call everybody, you know, the— or group, you know, as a Hillbilly Nation is because it's just kind of basically getting back to the roots, you know, of our, our country and everything. And, you know, I think that's something special, and, you know, in my book anyhow.

All right, well, with that, we will remember God first, family second, you say country third, and I was always taught career third because I learned it from Mary Kay. And so with that, I'm actually going to have you close out the show with your Creek Don't Rise thing.

Well, thank you. I, I want to say thank you so much, Brooke, for having me on here. I've had a blast. It's been very fun talking to you. Uh, hopefully we can do this again and get you over on Guns, Beer, and Therapy again on the panel. Because we have a blast when you're on there. But anyway, I want to leave everybody with the saying that I close out all my videos with and my live show. Remember, God, family, and country. And make somebody's day better, will you? If the good Lord's willing and the creeks don't rise, we'll be seeing you again, Hillbilly Nation.

I love you.