Suicide Prevention Saturday - How to have difficult conversations

All right, hello everyone. Uh, G-Webs, you already commented, I know you are here. Crabby Turtle, nice to see you. Um, and I don't know, Gun Websites may be slacking if he's only the second so far today. Uh, hi Crabby Turtle, nice to see you. And, uh, I, I'm impressed that you have a crab and a turtle. All right, so hi everyone, you are here tuned into Suicide Prevention Saturday. It's 9 PM Eastern on a Saturday. This one happens to be June 25th, 2022. What are we doing here? We're going to talk about suicide prevention. Why? Because as gun owners, we need to make sure that people understand that 2 out of every 3 gun deaths that there are that they call gun violence in the world are actually suicides. So hello, Miss Fiona, I see you're on the Facebook side. So now I'm curious who's on the YouTube side, or wait, other way around, you're on the YouTube side. So 2 out of every 3 gun deaths you hear about as far as gun violence are suicides. I will continue to tell people that if over 60% of a problem is suicide in a single item, it seems to me that if we want to save lives, we should be focusing on that. So on Saturdays we just talk about various mental health issues. Today it's about having a difficult conversation. There are lots of conversations going on this week. Some of them are lovely and some of them are not so lovely. So I'm going to go through really quick. I'm going to try to stick to my 10-minute, 15-minute, stay on track, ignore all of the rest of the comments. So I'm actually going to go, I'm going to turn them off. So if you say something to me, DJ, is here in the background, and he will clue me in as to what you said when we get to the end of our 15 minutes. So, how to have a difficult conversation. Are you ready? First of all, notice the shirt. Choose happy. We get to choose what we're focusing on, whether something has happened that makes us happy, or something that's happened to make us sad, or annoyed, or frustrated. We get to choose what we are focused on. I wore this shirt just for you guys tonight. These are actually pajama tops for me, um, and it says choose happy because it's way better than the anger, the frustration, um, the general pissed-off feeling that a lot of folks are currently dealing with. So I have my notes. I actually have notes today. Number 1, assume You can learn something from the person you are talking to. This is rule number 9 from Jordan Peterson's Rules of Life. And I have lots of different things for you all to, um, uh, what am I going to say, that I'm going to share with you guys today. It would help if I brought the screen thingy up though, so hold for just a second so you guys know. All right, so So Jordan Peterson's Rules of Life, um, is a book that has 12 rules for life, and he kind of breaks down it into a lot of things. And I'm showing this to you guys because one of the things we have to do in order to be better is we have to expand our minds and what we learn and what we know. All right, so assume you can learn something. That is, uh, Jordan Peterson's rule number 9. 2, actually listen to what they have to say versus waiting your turn. I don't know about you guys, but I know I am 1000% guilty of this. If you and I are having a conversation and you come up on your favorite chocolate chip cookie recipe, and I'm like, oh, but I love my chocolate chip cookie recipe. I can't wait to tell you about mine. And I'm not hearing, you know, the pinch of salt or the vanilla or what the difference is between my cookies and your cookies. And I haven't learned anything. So when we're having conversations where someone has different information than what we do, we really have to listen and really pay attention to make sure we're hearing what they're saying versus figuring out what our response is going to be for what they're saying, because that makes rule number one— or sorry, it's not rule number one, these are just my points, talking points for today— assume that you can learn something from the person that you are talking to. And how do we get ourselves in a mindset that allows us to do this? Well, we need to take care of ourselves. We need to pay attention to what we're paying attention to. What words are we choosing that are running through our brains? Um, how have you been taking care of yourself lately? Self-care used to be considered selfish, and a lot of women— and I don't know if the same for guys because I'm not a guy, and I love guys, and I find that they tend to be a lot simpler than us women women. But, um, what have you done to take care of yourself? So I have more stuff to share with you guys as far as ideas, right? So, um, for me, meditation. I've got my list here of guided meditation, power naps, because I find I need to get a nap in the afternoon. And it can be something as simple as going on YouTube and looking for a meditation that works for you. What are you learning? Are you feeding your brain cool stuff that helps you learn how to deal with any of the stressors of life? This is treating yourself well. This is filling up your brain trust so you have other ways to think of stuff. This is— what is— I think this is Ed Mylett's, although this is just one of my videos. I've got Ed Mylett over here. So this These are— this is literally what I call my better thoughts playlist. And so it's got Ed Mylett, it's got Jordan Peterson. Um, who else is on here? I can— oh, Jerry Michalik. It's, you know, The Art of War. It's stuff that makes me think better. So you can easily go on. What about a new hobby or something? Have you expanded your brain to something like guitar lessons is one of the things that I'm sort of helping trying to learn myself, which music and musical instrument, it could be knitting for you. How can you take care of you? Ed Mylett's totally one of my favorites. I am gonna drop this into the comments because I love how many different types of people this guy has on here. They talk about so many different things and it's kind of cool 'cause like here it's Ed Mylett with Dean Graziosi,, who is one of the other guys I love listening to, because these are the type of people that you want to spend more time with. And this is my fourth talking point. Uh, spend more time with people who want the best for you. People like Ed Mylett and Dean Graziosi are those people, even though they may not be your immediate friends, they can totally feed into your happiness. Uh, Dean is another guy. Who I absolutely adore. One of his— my favorite quotes from him is, "A rising tide lifts all boats." And why is that important? If you and I lift each other up, if I make sure that my batteries are full, make sure that my headspace has had some time out in nature, has done some meditation, has taken some deep breaths, whatever it is that works for you, that makes you feel better. If I can do that, then I can be here to serve you, and I can take care of you and give you these little podcast thingies. And then you can take that and you can share it with someone else. Just like I've done Tony Robbins stuff since the '90s. I was so excited to get my first set of Tony Robbins cassette tapes— yeah, I'm that old— um, and listen and feed my brain cool stuff. So to me Not all of us have cool people in our lives. So I reach out to people like Dean Graziosi, Ed Mylett, Tony Robbins, Jordan Peterson, or maybe it's something as simple as it could be comedy, right? I don't know if any of y'all know, um, this is JP Sears. Uh, if you like parody on current events to try to help you make more fun of it, uh, this is also a reasonable place to go. If you don't like this sort of thing, that's okay too, but I find often he is really, really quite funny. But he's got thought-provoking stuff, health and wellness and comedy, empowering yourself, all sorts of stuff. My favorite video he has up here is actually on guns because he used to be hugely anti-gun, and then he made a new video that showed his old anti-gun video, and then he then took his old anti-gun video and put it with "And Then I Learned." So it's really a great resource for that sort of thing. Okay, we're almost done, honest to goodness. Make sure your house is in order, in perfect order, before criticizing the world. It's very easy for us to see things that are not the way we would do it not the way we want it. And this is true, there's plenty of things in the world that are not the way we want them. So this is rule number 6 from Jordan Peterson's 12 Rules of Life, and we want to make sure that we're working on us because you and I can't change the world. I can make myself a better person so that I can deal with the stress of life around me in a better way. And if I can deal with it better, then whoever I'm dealing with, one of two things are going to happen. A, I might help them, or B, there's not going to be a fight about it because we're coming from a place of love. That's another kind of part of this. Another Tony Robbins thing, CANAI, constant and never-ending improvement. Don't compare yourself to anyone else. Compare yourself to who you were yesterday. Have you done something better for yourself today than you did yesterday? So that is kind of my whole list. Did I do anything else? Yes, I have more ideas and things for you guys to consider. How do you take care of yourself? All right, food and nutrition, right? I don't know how many of you guys have been here with me, but I have done the 75 Hard program, and like it says here, it's not a fitness program, it's a mental toughness program. Having this simple list of what to do every single day is pretty darn amazing. So I will pop this in the chat too. And it gets a lot of knocks, and people say, oh, they love it, they hate it, that kind of thing. But there's always going to be Sorry, DJ, I didn't mean to throw you up there. Oh, apparently I do. I don't even know what I'm doing. All right, so anyway, 75 Hard. Do something physical. We have to do something mental. Doing physical stuff helps us as well. So what else can we do? Something as simple as cleaning. Yeah. Marie Kondo. She cracks me up because she makes it so simple to clean when— I don't know about how you guys are, but I hate cleaning. Finding a new skill. It could be anything. I love this because the other thing my doctor and everybody I know that wants to be healthy says, get outside at least for 15 or 20 minutes a day. Part of the reason why 75 Hard is so awesome is it makes you be outside for 45 minutes of a workout every day. I totally love this. Fun activities in the mud. Literally go outside, play in the mud, throw on old swimsuit, find some paintbrushes, and, you know, paint yourself and then rinse off. Make mud pies, design mud sculptures, create mud casts, role play with toys. There's so many simple ways to have some fun outdoors, and it doesn't have to be hard or complex. So for real, I'm pretty sure that's it. It's 12 minutes, but I just really want to dump into your brain the choose happy. And again, what does this have to do with suicide prevention? The stronger and better we take care of ourselves, the more we guard what happens in here, the more we make sure that we are choosing happy, then we will be able to help ourselves first, and then we'll be able to be good, um, people that can help others. Okay, so that's that. All right, now I will actually go look and see what the comments are. I don't know, DJ, how we doing? Do you have like ones you want to pop up here right away that you can tell me who said what and when so I know how to answer?

I do believe that most participants out there on the text chat, at least those are the ones that I can pay attention to a little bit better. They've been enjoying what you've had to say, as have I. You brought up a lot of really great points, and several times you made me think of ways to incorporate those suggestions into my own life. I tend to try and live a— I'll modify this— a hell yes kind of attitude for things, right? Um, I find, I find that a lot of people, and it mostly in relationships, if you, if one pursues a relationship where there isn't a lot of reciprocity, you don't hear from them, they may take days or a week to reply to a message, I go ahead and I let people know that I'm thinking of them. But if the energy is not met almost equally, then I'm starting to mature in my early 50s to the point where I don't put the same degree of energy in. If you're not receiving it, that contribution that you make, albeit a good one, is going to sort of drain down your own batteries. And you reminded us to recharge those.

Yeah. I mean, self-care has been a big theme with a lot of people. Ed Mylett does an Instagram thing every single day. Although I got to put this up because this cracks me up. G-Webs: Painting yourself in mud is good practice for hiding from thermal vision aliens too. So double win. And for anyone who needs to see an alien battle in the atmosphere, yeah, just go to G Webb's YouTube channel and he's got that on video. Alien battle. You have to look that up. So, um, so he knows how to hide from the aliens because he's videoing them and watching them. So, um, yeah, so comedy, uh, is totally important. Um, uh, Fiona, of course you like JP Sears. I mean, it's— well, I mean, you and I have some things in common, not everything, but it's good. Um, But yeah, I love JP. It's so funny, um, because I was raised as a granola-eating, no-sugar, tree-hugging person, and he does an awesome parody on all the spirituality folks. And it's like, you have to be able to laugh at who you are also and not take yourself too seriously. I know there are a lot of people out there that are just um, totally too serious about everything. Like, we like the way that we like stuff, right? It's like, like I was talking about the chocolate chip cookies. I'm like, I know I like my chocolate chip cookie recipe. Now, I don't know, barbecue is today, but I'm guessing he probably bakes from time to time, doesn't just only, um, barbecue. But it's just like We are very resistant to listening to stuff new. We are not usually very pliable to change. And sorry, the reason I went, oh, is because someone I did not put up on our resources is Bruce Lee. If you read— oh, which one is it? Bruce Lee's, um, it's sort of his autobiography that his wife and one of his friends ended up finishing for him because he died before it was done. But it talks about being um, like water, right? So what does water do if it comes against a rock? It goes around the rock. If it comes to a cliff, it falls over the cliff. The water just goes, and that's the strength in it, and that's how it created the Grand Canyon, right? A little bit at a time, but by being flexible. And how strong that actually is— ah, thank you, sir, I appreciate that. Yes, the Tao of Jeet Kune Do. And I've read it multiple times. I've got notes, I've got highlighter. Jim Quick is another one resource that I didn't give you guys yet, but yeah, he talks about when you're reading stuff, whether it's self-defense for women or maybe it's Zen Bow, Zen Arrow. This actually is another one of my super favorite books because it really talks about how shooting is such a Zen sport in that you have to pay attention right now. And this is the other thing about being happy and being present, is that right now I am here with you guys and you guys are here with me and we're having a good time, as far as I know. So nothing else matters other than this moment. And that's kind of what the idea behind Zen is, is that one of the things he talks about in this book is that you look at the target, you draw your bow, you see the shot, and then you just let the shot happen. And so many of us are totally in the 'I must control everything' I'm raising my hand because, you know, as a mom, as a wife, as a girl, I don't know, uh, all of us have control freakiness somewhere. Some days it's high, sometimes a little lower. I find that the more you let go and let it flow, like Bruce Lee says in the Tao of Jeet Kune Do, the happier you are. Because one of the most important things that I teach my kids is I cannot control what you say to me, how you treat me, any of that. The only thing that I get to control is how I react to how you treat me. So like here, Moo says hi. I can say hi, Moo. Or if I'm gonna— maybe, maybe I'm mad at Moo. I don't know. Not that I can think of any reason why I'd be mad at Moo, But Moo could say hi, and I'd be like, what do you want, Moo? Right? Moo didn't do anything different, right? Moo just said hi. It's up to me to decide how I'm going to react to Moo. And Moo, I'm not mad. It's okay. It's all good. So this is kind of that whole thing. Hey, GT3. And so feed yourself, take care of yourself, get outside. Um, I just took off all social media off my phone. It is not here anymore because there are more important things than me being on social media. So when I'm here in my office, I will check in and all of that good stuff, but we have to make sure that we make decisions that will support our mental health and what gives us free time and that sort of thing. So, oh wait, Tao Fu, yes. So there's the Tao, Tao, Tao, Tao, Tao, I don't remember. I have that book too. So, and just reading, like if you have anything in your house, pick it up and read 10 pages. That's another part of the 75 Hard program was 10 pages a day. And that helped me get back into reading because just sitting down and reading a book I know some people can't read. Not that they can't read— well, yeah, they literally can't read. But I know some people listen to books on tape and stuff. But if you can just sit and actually read, it always makes it a little bit better because you're giving yourself some time. All right, which trigger, Mike? That's what I want to know. Which trigger is it? Oh, and I saw your new sub to my personal channel too. Thanks. Yeah, because I put on the governor's stuff. All right, more stuff. Underdog Advantage, Dean Graziosi. He talks about if everything is against you, you can still win, right? And so many of us are limited by what we believe is possible. Um, so that's another reason why, uh, one of the books like this is good. So there's tons of stuff you can do. Whether it is play in the mud, go outside, whatever it is. And yes, sometimes you go outside not to smoke, but actually just to get fresh airs. Uh-oh. Oh no. So apparently G-Webs has a list of reasons to be at 2. I do not need to get mad at Moo for any reason whatsoever. And that's just it, is a lot of people tend to love to live enrage, because hate and anger are easy. Finding that calm and that peace takes practice. Oh wait, I have more here. I thought I was all done sharing stuff with you guys, but no, uh, there's this other dude, Sam Harris, who helped me and my family through a lot of challenges in that he talks about meditation And anxiety. This is the link I'm dropping right now. He talks about, again, being present. It's like, what's happening right now? And I always keep moving the things. All right, you two, be nice to each other. So, yes, so we know that 2 Live Moo— well, actually, I don't know. I'm going to go with 2 Live Moo and G Webs are just Joking. Um, oh wait, wrong one. Where it is. Yes, so Tao Fu and the Tale of Piglet again talk about how you take everyday stuff and kind of look at it differently as far as that all goes. I know, sorry DJ, I think you already did that one. All right, who else? Who else is interesting? All right, one more. I think this is honestly my last one. Um, oh, Barbecue, nice of you to show up. Oh, sorry, like, wait, I should make fun of him when he's actually pulled up. Um, so one more person I like listening to is Russell Brand, and the reason I like listening to him is because he tells you what he's found and he doesn't say this is the only way to think. He says, what do you Think about this. And he talks about— again, he's, he's more serious than JP Sears, but he's still entertaining to watch. He also gets into Awakening with Russell Brand if you want to get more into the meditation and mental stuff of figuring out how to find something that works for you. So that's kind of that. I keep moving the mouse over there thinking it's going to be here. So, all right, I knew I, I already warned DJ. I'm like, oh, I'm so going long today. So that's it. How do we deal with all the chaos in our lives? We have to make sure we're taking care of us. How do we prevent suicide? We make sure we're taking care of us. Because when I got that phone call yesterday or the day before of one of my friends saying, I just talked to one of my friends from 'Hang themselves, now what?' We need to be prepared to have those conversations, and none of us have all the answers. All of us have some resources, and I hope tonight's show with 5 million resources will be helpful for you going forward. My hope is when— if I'm really smart, I'll put all the different thingies in the, the description And yeah, that's kind of it. Choose and choose happy because it's a better way to be. Hate and anger are just poisons that you're taking yourself. Because if I hate Moo's chocolate chip cookies— sorry, dude, I'm so picking on you tonight— Moo doesn't give a crap that I don't like his cookies. I'm annoyed that I don't like his cookies or whatever. So hate and anger directed outward doesn't actually do anything. And so if you're feeling anger, frustration, any of that, ask how that is serving you. I know we've talked about it a lot. It's like, okay, what words are you using? We did why versus how last weekend. So it's that whole thing. How do we make better choices about what we're choosing to say in here, in our brains, and how we're reacting to what's going on around us? Yes. Oh yeah, thank you, DJ. Oh my God, I didn't even see who put that up. All right, see, G-Webbed, it's like you and I are like mentally connected so that we know the cookies get me so mad. Which means now that, um, now Moo has to actually bake cookies and send them to me. I think that's what this means. And yes, To Live Moo, please don't feel like you're getting bullied today. I just, I don't know, you were just who happened to pop up because, you know, barbecue was late. So, all right, love you all. Uh, questions, ideas, comments, leave them here, leave them there, wherever it is that you want to leave them. I will try to get all of those links that we dropped in the chat into the description. Anything else, DJ?

Just thanks for hosting each week and bringing us a message that we are able to use not only for ourselves but in the service of others.

Brooke Cheney. Awesome. Oh, and, and, uh, Mike White is about to have some chocolate chip cookies, and I love the fact that Mike White is able to spell as well as I do. All right, well, good night all. Please feel this— feel, feel free to share this because I think tonight might be one of those things that we really should share this around a bit. So thanks for popping in. I will see you all next week. And, uh, on my YouTube channel for my school, I'm gonna be coming up with some reviews of my Sig Sauer Academy, um, training that I did last week. It's gonna be kind of cool concealed carry stuff. And, um, oh, all right, G23, gotta give me a time and I will happily put that in, as long as I don't already have students, uh, scheduled, because my work week is Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. All right, y'all have a good week as well. Well, nice seeing you, Rita, and good night all.