Suicide Prevention Saturday - Let's talk about all the lies

Hi everybody. Um, ever since I had that one, uh, what do you call it, thumbnail where I'm like so It makes me think I should do that. So anyway, hi everybody, welcome to Suicide Prevention Saturday. Let's see what we can do to talk about mental health and helping prevent one more person from possibly considering taking their own life and also to throw them a rope to help them not go there. All right, Suicide Prevention Saturday, why are we here? Because 2 every 3 gun deaths you hear about are suicides. And there's many violent crimes in the world, and they are not all deaths and murders by gun, as the media might have you believe. So I believe the sad, horrible truth of it is today, roughly 73 people took their lives due to suicide. The more distressing part of that even is that the number of people who are taking their suicide, that are taking suicide, taking the direction of suicide— yeah, words not easy tonight— are between 11 years old and 14 years old. And I mean, there's older people that are doing it, but we have such an issue with mental health in this world. And so tonight, the schedule and the plan of tonight is to talk about the lies we tell ourselves. And it's just talking about lies is what the— wait, where am I? Yeah, all of both on YouTube and on Facebook, it's going to be down here. Well, we're going to talk about lies because one of the things we talk about often is that we have— I wrote down Lies, Sex, and Videotape, but that's a movie, not what we're talking about tonight. But it kind of helps me get on track. In that we hear lies all the time. And whether it's incorrect information, a mistaken piece of information that we're given, or just the way that we take something, it doesn't actually mean what we think it means. People talk about fake news in the world, and it's really hard because here on the internet, which is where you're watching, there is so much information and it is so hard to verify anything. And this is one of those things where I don't watch the news anymore. I have not watched the news since I got pregnant in 2005. And it's because the reality of it is, is what's on the news is meant to make you feel something. And unfortunately it does not make you feel good. So when we're talking about fake news, which is something we hear about all the time, we have a hard time figuring out what is real, what is not, and what is up and what is down, because something can occur. And whether it's a positive or negative, this is where I love the whole Zen thing, because the Zen thing is it just is. There are— I've told you guys this story before, but it's like, it's a parable. It's not a real story, but it's like, there's a farmer and his mare breaks out and the town is like, oh, that's so bad. And the farmer's like, maybe, maybe not. And then the mare comes back and the mare's got a stallion and a whole bunch of other horses with them. So, oh, you're so blessed. And the farmer's like, maybe, maybe not. And then the farmer's son goes to break the stallion and gets thrown off and breaks his leg. And the, the, the, the town is like, oh, I'm so sorry. That's really too bad. And the farmer's like, maybe, maybe not. And then the next week, the, a war breaks out in their country and the consignment comes and all able-bodied sons have to go off to war. And because the son has a broken leg, you know, oh, good for you. And the farmer's still like, maybe, maybe not. To me, that sums up what Zen really tries to teach, which is it just is. However, with the fake news, with the tons of information, with all of the things that we are fed every single day, overwhelmed by actually with all of the information. I know a lot of you that are here are definitely part of the 2A group. Um, I am not looking at the comments right now to talk to everybody, but, um, I don't know if Coop is out there or not, but hold one moment. Do you need something, sir?

I'm just saying, because I didn't say yet today, happy anniversary.

Oh, thank you. All right, thank you. Wait, you can say hi to everybody. Hello and also goodbye. All right. Yeah, so my husband— my husband, that would be my son. There we go. And that's why over here it says the bride of 25 years is because we just had our 25th wedding anniversary party. So, uh, as I was saying, I'm, I'm not looking at the comments right now. So it's like, I don't know if Coop is out there or not, but all, most of us here are really into our Second Amendment community. We pay attention to so much stuff that is going on at the federal level, at our state level, all of that. And we have all of this information and because of the knowledge that we have on so many of these fronts, What something means to us is different than what something means to someone who's not part of the 2A and doesn't understand the impact of why we're happy or sad regarding something. So fake news may or may not be a thing in that it could be just it's not what we understand. So sorry, I did write notes for tonight about the whole thing. To that point, be aware of what goes in. Uh, I know I looked early before the show started. I know Hillbilly's out there, I know Mike White's out there, um, my Krabby Turtle. And I say my Krabby Turtle is just because initially when we started a StreamYard, every time he would go up, he'd put the little pink hand waving emoji, but in StreamYard it never showed it. It just said dot dot pink hand waving. So that's why he's always my favorite pink hand waving. So, but like, I know you guys, you guys are part of the 2A community. This is the kind of information that you get, you take in. And when we are looking for the information we're trying to put into our brains and the things we're trying to learn, we have a couple questions we should be asking us. Now, Mr. DJ, I know you're partially paying attention and partially not, or My question to you is, can you give us a roll call at this point in time?

I can absolutely do that for you. Crabby Turtle was the pink hand waving and the first one in the room tonight and most nights. 2 Live Moo, also a regular attendee, is out there. So is Hillbilly Up. He's got the show coming up after this one. Mike White is out there. So is Sorry Fan 93. Mike Ballinger is out there as well. Gun Websites, the last fresh face in the room. That's your roll call.

Awesome, thank you very much. Here I can even push buttons and everything tonight because I'm not on my phone, as you all can see. All right, so, oh, so yes, there's the ticker. So, uh, Bride of 25 Years, like I said, this is my 25th wedding anniversary partay. Our actual 25th anniversary is on Wednesday. It's also my son's first year of senior year at high school, so What do we do about our fake news? Well, I know most people when they talk about fake news, they're talking about the stuff that they see on the news, right? The CNN, the Fox, the YouTube live streams, all of that sort of stuff. But because we are here on Suicide Prevention Saturday, what does that have to do with you and me and mental health? Well, the reality of it is We definitely give ourselves fake news on a regular basis, and we need to be aware of the things that we're putting in, and we need to be aware of the things that we let ruminate in our heads. And I realize not everyone is like me. However, I'm willing to bet some of this might resonate with you in that when a thought goes through your head, good or bad, some of them get stuck on a hamster wheel and just keep going and going and going. And my sister-in-law does homeschooling, and she had this great poster in her classroom, and it had some questions— or not some questions, well, it did have questions— and it says, before you say something, ask these questions. And here are the questions. I found them for you. And the first question is, is it kind? Is what you're about to say, whether it's to someone or to yourself, because I think we're very good about not saying kind things to ourselves often, So the first question when you're about to say something, either outward or inward, is it kind? Considering the potential impact of what you are thinking, because that's when you're talking to yourself, or what you're going to say. And then where is it? I tried to type them all out so I could put them on the screen too. So is it kind? Because goodness knows I can sometimes say things like, wow, I am such a loser and I'm so stupid and I can't believe I did that and I I suck. And none of those things are kind. And I'm sure no one else here has ever done anything like that. But this is where I'm like, okay, I need to remember, if I'm saying it out loud to someone else, if I'm saying it inwards to myself, is it kind? And then here's another one, which almost seems like it should maybe be the first one, is does it need to be said? So let's say I stub my toe on the kitchen table and I start saying not nice things to my head and or even out loud, 'cause you know, when we stub our toes or something dramatic occurs, it is very easy to be like, mother of peanut butter and jelly, I am so blah, blah, blah, right? Not necessarily nice words. But does it need to be said? Because I've gotten better when I do something that is less than graceful, I will generally just like, ah, and I may not make any noises whatsoever as I let the feeling of frustration and anger and pain pass through my body without actually saying any of it. Now, Here's another thing before we say something to ourselves or someone else, is it true? Now I'm in politics. I have people say stuff about me all the time. I've been called nasty names. I've also had people say that I am of not nice character who've never met me. And is what you're about to say true? So back to my example of I am a loser because I didn't do something, and I can't think of anything off the top of my head right now. And is it true? Am I really a loser because I didn't get X, Y, or Z done? No, not really. I am human and I get 10 or 13 other things done that day, but just not that one that I'm focusing on. And I'm not focusing on the 20 or 30 other things that I did, right? So is it true? Really should ring home for you guys or for anyone that has issues like I do, where it's like, these are the things that we talk to ourselves the most, which is why we have to ask these questions the most. Um, next one is it, uh, sorry, what's the other thing? Oh yeah, this one is, hmm, does it need to be said, right? I think I kind of already went that one. Does it have a purpose? Is there really a reason to say it? This is one of those things where I don't know if you've ever been in a situation, but someone may do something that distresses you, makes you mad, upsets you in some way, straight way or form, right? And I know I've had that feeling where I want to tell someone right the heck off. And then if I ask, step back and ask my question, does it have purpose? The only purpose it really has is for me to feel better about myself in the moment by making someone else feel not so wonderful. So if the purpose is not good and well-intentioned, then no. So I mean, this question could even be more so, what is the purpose of you saying something? Now, that was the poster that my sister-in-law had in her classroom, and I thought those were some really good ideas for us to try to pay attention to. Now, here's the reality of this. We need to have a poster in our own homes that says these things. Because it's very easy for me to tell this to you when I have my checklist. It's like, all right, which one next, which one next? But it's these, these are sort of things where we have to put them somewhere we can see them, where we actually read them on a regular basis. You could put it on your phone as a backdrop or something along those lines. So with that, I added a couple more things When you say this or when you hear something, like if you go, if you do choose to go and actually watch the news, does this make me feel better? I have yet to find anyone who's watched the news and feels like they're happier after the fact. This kind of goes back a little bit to the, does this have purpose? Does this need to be said? When you're talking to yourself or others. Next is, does this build me up? If I actually give myself credit for the 20 or 30 things that I've already done versus beating myself up for the 4 or 5 things that I didn't get done, what is a better tact? And for whatever reason, I find most of us— and I'm not saying you're like I am, but So many of us will tear ourselves down and see the tiniest imperfection and really make that bigger. And we need to ask the question of, does this build me up? It's like calling myself a loser for not getting something done. Does that give me any inspiration to get the thing done? No, not really. It does not. And then my final one has nothing to do with my brain. It was what I learned through nutrition. And the nutrition thing was we can get really particular about what we put in our bodies, and it can be on any extreme, right? If we are total sugaraholics and all we eat is cake and cookies and candy, then we can be total carnivore diet where the only thing we eat is meat, and then there's the rest of us that are somewhere in between. And when I was with Tony Robbins, the, the, the thing that he would say is, as you're about to bite into something, or before you actually make the action of taking a bite, the question is, does this cleanse me or clog me? And the reason I want to let you know that I learned this through eating, right, through proper nutrition, it's like if most of the time when I pick something up that I'm going to eat and I know that I can answer that question that it cleanses me, then I'm doing pretty good. And if most of the time I pick something up and I ask the question, does this cleanse me or clog me, and it's clogged me, I know I'm not doing so well. And mentally, we can do this as well with whatever we're choosing to watch on YouTube, on Rumble, on Facebook, wherever we go. Is if it's not making you laugh, if it's not making you happier, if it doesn't add to your life so you can make better decisions in your life, if it doesn't give you a new skill set, If it's not something that is going to build you up, then maybe we don't want to spend too much time, or at least be aware of that. We want to make these choices consciously. All right, so with that, Mr. DJ, yes, would you like to— is there anyone else new in here? I see one, I see two. Since you did the last roll call? And/or do you have any questions, ideas that you would add to these kind of, um, this, the, these kind of questions when trying to build yourself up or paying attention to what you were saying to yourself and to others?

Wow. Compound complex question there. So I'll begin with this. Um, Woods and Viejo, joined us. Um, yeah, I began to make some news— yeah, uh, some notes about fake news. Um, external realities. Sometimes it's easier for us to think about our own lives as being the only legitimate thing out there. And I think that even that I oftentimes will get wrapped up in my feelings and that that ends up creating a reality that only exists for me. And so when others don't either see it my way or immediately perceive that I'm experiencing what I am and that my reality is the legit one. I get like offended when most of the time it's just that people are confused or they're willing and able to point out that my perception is not correct. Now, I don't like to get head-checked about stuff like that, but it would be a disservice if the people that I know and care about did not head-check me on those sort of things, because allowing somebody to persist in delusion That's not nice. That's not kind. That's not natural or normal, um, sort of thing. Even though we've kind of been tuned to do that, to not say things that are negative, to allow people to continue, you know, blathering on or, you know, inching closer and closer to the edge of something that we don't want them to approach. But we have to give people the space of their own humanity and their own experience. I don't mind if people want to jerk me by the shirt collar and pull me back from the edge. I oftentimes will need that from my closest, my nearest and dearest friends and folks. So dealing with the fake news within my head is often where a lot of that fake news comes from. It's just generated within me— my interpretations, my misinterpretations or misunderstandings. So internal clarification isn't always going to come easily. It isn't always going to be the natural course. And so I think it's important to have those steadfast examples of reality within us. Um, sometimes I'll even be in touch with something as simple as the weather. I would like it to be nice outside today, but I have to deal with the fact that it's a hot day, even a boring day sometimes, that makes you want to yawn and just go back inside. Whatever, whatever.

Our party started at noon and we started set up at like 9:00 this morning, and my last guest literally left at 8:45. So yeah, there's gonna be a little yawn and it has nothing to do with you, I promise.

Interjecting a little bit of humor, I would hope. So this is what I'm thinking next though. One of the things I wanted to add to that list was, does it make your world or the world at large a better place? Because if we invite things in, if we, um, attempt to make some of the things that we've invited in part of the external reality we're not making a good contribution to the world, to our environment, to our friendships, to our households, our relationships. None of those things are being well served by that. So I didn't have the same sort of strength in the order that you were listing them. So I kind of moved them around a little bit. So the way that—

The order doesn't matter. It's the fake news, usually, like, like you just said, right? It does start in our own heads. And the first step is even being aware of the fact that we're the ones who are usually lying about ourselves. And for the most part, most of us do it in a negative way because we always feel like we should be doing better or more or something along those lines, or worse, we're comparing ourselves to somebody else. But to your last point of, does it have a purpose? Because You know, it's, it's that if what you're about to think or say, does it make you feel better? Does it build you up? It's like, and all of these questions are not in any particular order. I mean, they were on the poster, but it's just like the first step is just even realizing that maybe I should ask a question before I beat myself up kind of thing.

No doubt. So the one that I put up at the top of that list of the ones that you enumerated were, was, does it need to be said? And I have a lot of friends who would point that out as being the one that's most important for me to pay attention to, because often I say simply things that I don't need to. I will go on and on about something thinking that the more I talk about it, the more someone would understand when they got it on the initial mention. And everything else I'm adding to it is actually taking away from the point that I've made, perhaps, and hopefully efficiently or succinctly to begin with. And so the thing that I put in the second place there was, does it have a purpose? So do I need to say it? And then asking myself, what is the purpose? So I'm not always able to do that in the moment, but I'm increasingly doing things like committing myself to notes or at least running through things in my head before I have scheduled conversations. I'm still working on strategies for ones that happen in the moment. And I have a really hard time just knowing when to shut up. And so when I do, and so when I'm around another strong personality, like say Guns and Barbecue, he's one of the people out there that can just, you know, snap fingers, clap hands, you know, whistle, whatever it is, and he can get me to stop. And when somebody does that, then sometimes that's the only point that I get to head-check myself, because otherwise I've convinced myself, because my world is the one that's important or needs to dominate the conversation, that that's what I need to continue doing. I know that there are lots of people in my past, my present, and likely my future that want to be able to give me the proverbial slap across the face and just say, "DJ, shut up." Well, see, I can just do stuff like this.

I don't have to slap you. Like, oh, I'm full screen now. It's all me.

You do have the— you do have executive privilege in those ways. So by the time it gets down to, is it true, you know, is it true? Well, hopefully we're only saying things that are true or that we believe to be true.

And so this is where that whole fake news things make it— it, it's so much harder, right? Is because it's like one person's truth is not someone else's truth, and It's like, and I hate that saying, but at the same time it's true. Because like, we were just talking with a student the other day, I'm just like, here's the deal, the Gaston flag, to me it just screams Dukes of Hazzard. There is no white supremacist, there's no hate, there's no anything. It's a childhood memory, and that's what it means to me. And to others it's like, oh, it's this horrible thing, and it's just like Your truth is not my truth. It's just what you have attached to that, which is why the question of does this make me feel better or not? But we are 25 minutes in, so I want to just pull up a couple of the things that you starred already. So thank you on the congrats, Mike White and Hillbilly and Mike. It was an awesome party today, ended with a bonfire, super fun. And I— and Hillbilly, if you want to take down your '80s poster of TJ Hooker and put up my poster, I will send you a poster. It's going to be small though, it's not a big poster, just a regular size poster, so I can send that to you. But then Surya Fan, the last person called me a loser, I called them some choice words. And so he said rooster, and he says another word that rhymes with rag. And my first word was— no, the word that I think of with rooster rhymes with clock. So I'm like, I'm not sure what the other one is. So that's how delicate I am. So anyway, check out the—

check out the Rejoinder comment though. Sorry, having that self-awareness, not one of my shining moments at work. Yeah, that's the extra cringe portion of that. Sorry. And but Being able to recognize that sometimes we need to take the small rewards we give ourselves instead of beating, continuing to beat ourselves up about having flown off the handle at somebody, having used blue words in mixed company kind of thing, whatever it is. You're only going to be able to get over feeling bad about that if you take ownership of it and don't keep selling it hard sort of thing. Don't keep pushing it out there because otherwise you'll be wrong. Because it's likely that you're wrong to begin with. And that's not directed at Sari at all, that's more again at myself. This is a pretty decent conversation to have with DJ, um, when it comes to these things, because I will be self-deprecating. I will admit that I like to think that I'm well-informed and that I'm one of the smartest people in the room, but I'm usually not that person at all. And so, you know, an ego that, uh, took 5 decades to build often takes just a few moments to knock down. And as long as I have faith and trust in the people who are giving me those, you know, whacks across the face to get me to slow down or shut up kind of thing, then I'm going to continue to improve my game. I'm going to continue to improve as a person, and I'm going to continue to be able to add something of value to the conversations wherever I have them. Now, I know we're trying to get out of the room, but the fake news thing, I think because we are part of the mental health awareness and suicide prevention community, the firearms community, many, many of us as well. We have to be very, very careful with the kind of things that we say and insist are truths. If we don't have those things right, that will defeat the purpose of trying to bring people towards the truth that we know to be real, that we have vetted the process through, whose facts are in line with the reality as it applies to everyone. As soon as emotion is introduced to any of those things, you've already blurred lines. So you best be able to come correct when the time calls for it, and don't bring it into the conversation if it's not going to help advance it. I guess that's sort of where I was trying to go with that, I think.

Gotcha. All right, so here we are, uh, bottom of the hour. 8:30, 9:30, 7:30, depends where you're at. Uh, Gun Websites was in here, so I think it's only like 6:30 where he's at. So short version recap, since people like Coop just joined us. Um, hello, my brother, because I always love it when you say hello, my sister, when I catch you live. So anyway, be aware of the fake news that you tell yourself. None of us are perfect. We're all imperfect creatures. We don't have all of our stuff together ever. Some of us look like we do on a regular basis, and sometimes maybe there's people out there that really do. I know I am not one of them, but make sure that you are patting yourself on the back for the stuff that you do get accomplished. Allow yourself grace for the stuff that you do not get accomplished. Try to be truthful and build yourself up, because when you have that calm confidence within you, then you are more of a joy to be around. You are happier, and those around you are happier. I believe most of the challenges in life really and truly are because we don't have enough faith in ourselves and we expect other people to be better than us, and that's just not fair to the other people who are also just human. So with that, I'm gonna say CNT, my, my brother. I am doing just spectacular, uh, as my little knot thing says. Uh, we're just finishing up my 25th wedding anniversary party, and I am gonna so go to sleep and go to bed, and it's going to be so lovely. I'm really looking forward to that. So with that, uh, at the top of this hour, no matter what time zone you are in, Mr. Hillbilly Campbell— uh, well, it doesn't say Hillbilly Campbell, um, but Mr. Hillbilly has his show And I believe I saw something about fundraising part 2. Uh, I am not going to be up for that. I will be sleeping, and I will see you all. And, um, and that is kind of it. Mr. DJ, if you'll say all the nice things that you say to people and take us out, that would be lovely.

Absolutely. This evening we were joined by the Crabby Turtle, 2 Live Moo, Hillbilly Up, Mike White, Sariafan93, Mike Ballinger, Woods, Viejo, C&T Designs and Arms, and others not in the chat, and those who will catch this in replay. Thanks everybody for joining us again tonight. Be safe, have fun, take care of your crew and yourself, and always, you gotta rock! We're out.