Suicide Prevention Saturday - Mental Health

Poof, here I am, live and in person. Unless of course you're watching the replay, which for the most part is most of you. However, I know DJ is already out there, so he's actually watching the live from the very beginning because that's what DJ does on a Saturday night, because why not? So he's out there, so he's actually watching. Oh, from the very beginning. And I I didn't realize I still had YouTube open in the background. Awesome. Let's see, what was I saying? Well, now I know how much of a delay there is from when I talk to when y'all hear it. So there's a little bit of that. My son has been sick this week with a cold, and sadly, I think I have his cold. So me and Ginger Tea here, we're going to get through our 15 minutes or so of Sew Something Saturday. Um, let's see. Uh, all right. So, um, DJ and I were having a little conversation over on YouTube and he gave me a hashtag of #IDontThumbTilDone. And I had no idea what that meant. So I asked him and now I know the answer is, um, until an upload or live is over.. And, uh, and so that's that. So DJ is here for the entirety of however long I ramble on this evening on Suicide Prevention Saturday. So hi, welcome any new viewers. Uh, my name is Brooke Cheney. I am the owner and instructor here at A Great Start Shooting School. And no, I don't have anything on my shirt. It is just a hole in my shirt. So if any of you knit or know how to fix holes in knitting, let me know because I love this sweater. I don't want to lose it. Uh, Suicide Prevention Saturday, because 2 out of every 3 gun deaths you hear about when you're— they're talking about gun violence are suicides. So if we're really looking to save guns— save guns, let's try again— if we're really looking to save lives, then we need to focus on the problem of suicide and how to help prevent that. So Suicide Prevention Saturday is to raise awareness and the idea that it is important for us to talk about suicide and not to be afraid of it, or, well, all right, not be afraid to talk about it. Yeah. Okay. Sorry. Unfortunately, I get distracted. My friend Larry is in the, in the chat and making the world a better place. Now, I think he's saying that about me, but we can also say that about him because Uh, shoot, I'm gonna get it wrong. He just got some new, um, he just got some new credentials for what he does, and I forget what they are, but he's an EMT. He takes care of people, stuff like that. Um, let's see. Uh, hi DW. Um, and yes, DJ is weird like that. Um, but Gun Web says, I was actually thinking about you today. Just because DJ had actually given me a comment on the production value of all of this getting better. And I wouldn't be here if it weren't for good gun websites. So, all right, so here we go. Facebook is the devil. Yes, there's a little bit of that, I'm not gonna lie, but it's where I started Suicide Prevention Saturday. So it would be I, I just have to, you know, try to stay with the original thing, right? So Suicide Prevention Saturday, because 2 out of every 3 gun deaths you hear about. And the reason I always make a big deal of that every Saturday— I know you guys who are here every weekend, um, have heard it a million times, but for the person who's never heard it before, the amount of people who say, oh, I didn't know that, and I'm like, yes, it is definitely a challenge because you hear violence gun violence, gun violence, gun violence, when in actuality we are talking about mental health problems. Because if 66% of the problem is mental health, we really should be focusing on that if we're truly trying to save lives and not just take guns away from law-abiding citizens or making us gun owners even into felons by changing the laws on us all the time. We always have a moving goalpost as gun owners, especially here in Connecticut. We have a horrible legislative session currently. All right, so let's get caught up on Larry. So he's working for a psych mental health nurse practitioner. Um, so thank you. And I have to tell you all who don't— Larry has got to be my oldest friend. Like, he's the only person I remember from my childhood, like really young, and he introduced me to important things like AC/DC. So that's why Larry is near and dear to my heart, because one of the first things my husband and I had in common was AC/DC. So, all right, mental health. What is important to you? I mean, what's really important? I don't know about you, but I do my best to not watch the news because it's never any good. It's always about death, destruction, dying. And I think, oh, this one's dead on the side of the road, this horrible thing happened. And you watch the news and you wonder why people are all distressed and upset. And it's because it is just, they repeat and give you bad news over and over again. So it's super important that you ask the question, what's important to you and what's really important. And I'm sorry, the comments are cracking me up tonight. So I was talking to Guns and Barbecue earlier and I was like, you are going to be here tonight, right? He said yes. So he made it. One of my students, Fiona, AC/DC. I'm glad that she likes AC/DC. She's truly, her heart is Metallica, however. So, and sadly, gun websites, news equals programming. And it's true. And here's the thing, people tell me, like I tell people, I have stopped watching the news. Since 2005. And the reason I can tell you when is not because it was like, oh, I had a big day where I'm never going to watch the news again. It was I was emotional and pregnant. And those of you who are women out there, or have been married to women who have, have been pregnant, um, there is nothing necessarily more emotional than a, a pregnant woman. So when I was pregnant I, uh, realized that there's nothing good on the news. It is all bad and it always makes you sad. So the question of what's important to you and what's really important is about choosing what you're going to focus on. So by turning the news off, you can decide what information you actually need because if there's something you're interested in, you will find the information around that thing. A lot of people think that they have to watch the news in order to be updated or know what's going on, and the truth of the matter is no, not really. We are on currently on social media, whether you're watching on YouTube or Facebook, it's, it's, there'll be information out there for you. You don't have to sit and watch the news cycle because if you notice the The news cycle repeats and repeats and repeats. So you could watch one episode of the news once a week and probably get caught up. Barbecue, stopped watching news in 2017. 2017, I can talk today. When, get rid of cable. My cowboy, Harding Dyes, one of my DC Project members here in Connecticut, is, um, is watching, and Fiona believes that MSN News is one-sided. Now here's the thing, I am blessed with having people from all sorts of walks in education, and it's really funny to me listening to Republicans and Democrats talk about the other side, and it's always the same. They say the exact same thing about the other side that there is being said about them. So one side, it just depends whether it's your side or not your side. So let's talk about what's important now that I've blabbered on for a bit. So here we go. Ready? Ready for some education tonight? I hope so. And oh, and just so you know, Fiona, barbecue agrees with you. So I gotta push the right button and then you will see this. All right, this is called the Eisenhower Box. It's, "What is important is seldom urgent, and what is urgent is seldom important." And that is a quote from Dwight D. Eisenhower, our 34th President of the United States. Oops, now if I put my cursor in the right place, I can actually move this properly. And unfortunately it made it small again, so let me go bigger again. All right, wow, that got a lot bigger. So here is what you need to think about when you are trying to decide what is important and what you're really focusing on. So here we have important, and here we have not important, then we have urgent, And then we have not urgent. Now, I didn't know anything about Dwight D. Eisenhower the first time that I, um, I, I learned about this box. I'm gonna make it a little smaller so you can see the whole thing at the same time. So I was at Tony Robbins' event the first time I saw this. So urgent, not important. Wait, sorry, urgent. I can read, I swear. Urgent and important, something that do it now. Let's say, oh, I don't know, like when I jumped off the back of the truck and I blew my knee apart, going to the emergency room became urgent and important because I was in pain. So what is something that's important and not urgent? Schedule a time to do it. So one of the things that I got an email yesterday from my web designer who was looking for some credentials. So it was important because I need to get my website done, but I didn't have to do it immediately as soon as I saw it. Although I do try to get stuff done as much as possible when I get it because I don't always remember to schedule it. If something is urgent but not important, um, those of us with children might think of as we are currently cooking dinner and our 3-year-old comes screaming in the room because they need to watch Teletubbies right now. That's urgent because you've got someone screaming at you, but it's not truly important necessarily at the time. And then not urgent and not important, that would be me sitting at the, um, on the couch watching multiple episodes of NCIS. So the idea is simple, right? When you're choosing to focus on stuff, or when you notice you're focusing on stuff, think of these 4 squares in that. Is it in the urgent and important box where you really have to do it now? Is it some bad planning on someone else's part that's urgent but it's not really important? Or is it not urgent but it is important, so you need to make sure it gets on your calendar? Or is in the not important, not urgent thing. So this is how you can decide what you're going to focus on. So let me get caught up on our handy dandy conversations. Let's see, you're gonna talk about what's important in case you didn't get my last comment. Wait, we're gonna talk about you cuz that's what's important. Are you urgent though? That is my question, John. All right, um, great for time management because you have to put stuff in a hierarchy, but in order to, um, put that hierarchy in there, you have to have something to measure it against. Uh, Mr. Ballinger, one of my longest running persons who's been watching this Saturday night, they are actually literally out in the woods camping right now with the Boy Scouts and chopping firewood and fun stuff like that. It's supposed to start raining tomorrow while they're sleeping. It's not awesome, but nice to see you, Mike. What you think is urgent and important isn't necessarily urgent and important to someone else. Yes, especially at work. I used to work in corporate as well. Fiona's in corporate, and it's really, it's really interesting. There is a book that I'm reading, and I wish I had it to show you because it's but it's up next to the couch because I'm reading it, and it's called Stillness is Key. And it talks about many leaders like Winston Churchill, JFK, even like Tiger Woods, people who have crazy stuff going on around them. So one of the ones I read was JFK and the Cuban Missile Crisis and how important it is to really figure out what is urgent and important, what is actually important, to have that quiet that you can say, hey, what's the most important thing to do right now? For him, it was, you know, let's try not to get bombed. Um, and the greatness is finding the quiet in the chaos. I'm currently working on meditation skills, and this morning's attempt at meditation— there's a reason it's called a practice— is because we're trying to meditate and my dog— well, my daughter's dog Hawkeye, the German Shepherd— is being like a toddler. He can't sit still, he's moving around, and the whole purpose of the meditation is to be calm and quiet and just focus on inward towards you. So what is important? It's different answer for each of us, and it can change day to day. It's not like there's a single always, this is the most important thing ever. Important and urgent, do it now. Important and not urgent, make sure it makes it onto the calendar or onto your checklist or however you manage your stuff. And make sure it gets done going forward. Uh, not important but urgent. Well, if there's someone else that can do it for you, let them. I'm getting a little better at that, having been on crutches for November, December, January, February. Yeah, 4 months, you get really good at the delegation thing. I forgot to turn off my, my thing. All right, so DJ says this combined with Deming management model are fire. So you'll have to drop a link or something, DJ, 'cause I have no idea what you're talking about. And G-Webs, yes, I find it's very helpful because it's very simple. It's a box, right? Urgent, not urgent, important, not important. So it makes it really simple to think about just like right now. Is it important that you are here on Suicide Prevention Saturday supporting me? I think so, right? Oh wait, here, wait, wait, ready? I think so, because I love seeing your guys' faces and comments and everything else. So for me, showing up every Saturday is not urgent, but it is important because every Saturday for the past 3 or 4 years— I still forget how long it's been— this is my thing, my 10 or 15 minutes devoted to at least talking about Um, what it— just bringing up the simple fact of 2 out of every 3 gun deaths is actually suicide. So that is not urgent, but it is important to me, and that is why I'm here. And I totally lost my train of thought. I just clicked on something that DJ said. Um, all right, so DJ says all the Facebook fans join us on YouTube. It's much cooler, just saying. The cool clubs, kids, cool kids club. Yeah, I was never part of the cool kids club. I was the one getting smacked in the back of the playground. But anyway, relinquishing control. Yeah, we are in general, many of us are not good at the delegation thing. I know when I was complaining about having to ask the kids to do stuff all the time because I'm on crutches, I can't carry stuff, things like that. Be like, oh, we have children. I'm like, it gets tiresome asking people to do other things for you. But I am getting better in that my school, we're upgrading this year and I'm getting a big like 12 by 12 pavilion. I don't know what you call it. It's a, it's a, it's a roof on 4 sticks. But, um, people have offered to help me put it up. So I'm actually taking names and phone numbers and saying, okay, I'm really going to ask you to do this for me because I really do need the help. So, uh, like DJ was saying about relinquishing, delegating can be one of the best skills that you can learn for yourself. I'm like trying to circle it and it's in the wrong thing. So delegation is one of those things that it's hard and Part of this is you need to be able to— ready, those of us who are control freaks— your way is not the only way. And I know it's hard to believe that, but when you delegate something to someone, like doing the dishes, maybe they fill up the sink with water in one side for soap and rinse with the other. You're like, oh no, I'd never do that. It always has to be running water and this and that. If you're going to delegate something, realize that your way is not the only way, because that makes it a little bit easier on both of you, whoever it is you ask to help you, as well as, um, you know, as well as making it easier for people to want to do things for you. And then the not urgent, not important. Here it says delete or eliminate it. When I went through this with Tony Robbins, he said everybody needs that downtime. So like I said, sitting on the couch and watching NCIS for an hour is not something that I'm gonna eliminate because from time to time I want downtime. It's really that simple. So, uh, this is what I'm leaving with you guys. Urgent, important. Not urgent, but important. Make sure it's on your list of to-do stuff. Not important and urgent. Who can do it for you? And can you let them do it for you? Because Fiona says to me, I am a control freak, and I understand in that I am too, and I'm trying to let go of it simply for the fact that understanding that my way is not the only way is definitely more helpful for me. Because if I can let stuff go and allow people to do something— matter of fact, who was it? I think it was Jake on our bonus session towards the end, and we were talking about me not being able to, or getting tired of asking people to do stuff for me. He's like, let people have the gift of helping you, because all of us that are control freaks, we want to help you, we want to do something for you, but oh no, no, we don't need any help, we're fine, we don't need anything. So it's better for us control freaks that the open hand thing— and I did this with Mike Sodini, uh, what, 3, 4 weeks ago. So if your hand is open, you can receive things and things can be taken away from you. If your hand is closed, you can no longer receive anything, nor can you give anything away. You can keep what you have, but that is all that you will have. So, um, learning to let go and learning to flow, uh, a little bit of that is also in the meditation stuff is like people think meditation is this calm and it's not. It's trying to let go of expectations of what meditation is supposed to be. So, all right, let's see what Harding says. I was one who kept the bullies at bay and I'm available to help build your shelter. Awesome. I will, I, I will keep you on the list. I'm like literally making a list for the shelter thingy. Um, what else we got? Enough mansplaining. Everyone can do things the right way. Yeah, well, see, that's just it. The right way for you is not necessarily the right way for me. Uh, it's actually one of the things I talk about with my students all the time. As far as when they say, what's the best gun for me? I'm like, the gun you like shooting the most. Um, I have definitely had students come to me, go through my class, and they come back with the gun that they chose based on what we went through. And I told them, oh yeah, I hate that gun. Like, why didn't you tell me? I wouldn't have bought it. I'm like, no, no, no, the whole point is— actually, Fiona is one of mine, she got a Glock, and I'm like, I don't like Glocks, but that's okay, she loves her Glock. I like them better now that she taught me how to take them apart. So My way is not the only way. Your way is not the only way. And if we can let people do stuff the way they want to, even though it's not the way we want it done, it still gets done. All right. Barbecue. People help me fold clothes and they ask how I like stuff folded. I said, you are helping do a miserable task. Do however you want. Oh, see, and barbecue. I gotta tell you, when people ask, you know, for me, I really want my towels folded in thirds. I'm not gonna lie, if you came to my house and folded towels, I'd be like, if you do it in thirds, that'd be great, because that's how my grandma taught me. And she explained to me why, and it was so that when you fold them, there's just one fold versus multiple. So, but see that we have our reasons why we want it the way that we want it. But like Barbecue just said, right? They're helping you. And yes, sometimes it's nicer if I come to your house and help you, that you tell me what you want, because then I can do what you want. But, um, it is, it is a challenge. And I'm guessing Larry's talking about being guilty of being a control freak, because I think that was the last Facebook thing too. But it's, it's not that we're control freaks. Honestly, I think it's a lot more of we're comfortable with the things that we understand the way that we understand them. I'm not trying to make excuses for us control freaks, but we're only control freaks over certain things, right? For me, um, that third fold thing is just like, it makes me happy. Um, yeah, gun websites, I'm sure that you would be folding barbecues closed for him if you lived close enough. I'm not sure I want to drive to Pennsylvania to do it. All right. Oh, you guys are going so fast, I can't even keep up. So my way or the highway, towels get triple folded. Thanks, I'll fold my own skivvies. Yeah, actually, one of the jobs I had, um, in college was folding and doing laundry for a friend of mine. Yes, Fiona. Cheers for meditating at the range. I often tell people, um, that shooting is definitely the most zen sport I've ever done, because when you have a firearm in your hands, it really should be the only thing you're focusing on. So range time is often meditation time as well. Uh, bougie. Yes, barbecue. I think you're correct. Bougie. All right, I'm gonna get— I'm gonna get caught up with you guys, and then I'll let you all go. If you let go into a juggle, then it's like you're holding 3 things with just 2 hands. Okay, I suppose there's that. Hello, Miss Gina! Hope you're having fun, um, back in California, and, uh, hope you're doing lots of things to build your brand and everything else you just learned at— oh gosh, I don't even know the right word because I want to call it Tactical Disney World because that's what we call it, but I don't know what WOFT stands for. Ambassador Academy, though. Yes, bougie, we like that. I've only heard that recently. Oh, but DJ's gonna get all fancy on us and tell us where bougie came from because it's from bourgeois, um, if that's even how you say that because I don't do French. All right, yes, Larry is a control freak just like the rest of us. Fiona is correct. Oh man, don't be picking on my girl. She's allowed to like whatever she likes, man. Uh, thank you, Craig. Uh, hope all is well on your TV shows. All right, you guys are just too much. Gun yoga, actually, for real, on the range, every time I have a new student, we do gun yoga, uh, because one of the things we focus on is breathing. So take a shot, figure off trigger, come back down. Take that breath, have that pause in between. Um, holy moly, you guys are all chatty today. Freshman years, I did ironing. Yes. Harding, domestic peace was kept by asking my wife how she wanted it done, even if I disagreed, because my way wasn't that important. Right. And this kind of goes back to everybody's other point, like barbecue and gun websites. It's like, there are times when, yes, you want it your way, Like when you come to me as a student, there are certain safety things I will absolutely make you do my way, but it's not just my way. It's the NRA way and it's Cooper's way. And it's all the people who want to, um, do things well. And yes, Ambassador Academy. It took me a little while, Gina, but I did get there. Uh, love you too. Oh, and you know what? I want you on the show, by the way. We're going to talk about that at another time. Gun Zen is a real thing. There is Brian Enos. Brian Enos is actually one of the first books I read on Gun Zen about the importance of your mindset before shooting. And there's another book I read, Zen Bow, Zen Arrow, and I can't pronounce the author's name properly, so I'm not even gonna try. But just look up Zen bow, Zen arrow, and it talks about the mentality. And I think it's part of what I love about— um, oh, wait a second, I missed Fiona's because otherwise, um, Barbecue's message won't talk, won't make sense. But the Zen of it, it's being calm, intense, and centering because you have this thing in your hand that's about to explode. Or you're holding it however, whether you're doing handguns, rifles, whatever. And, um, you're going to be safe about the whole thing. So you're focused on the things that are important at that moment in time, which is why the short version of what Zen is, is being present in the moment, sort of with the same idea of what meditation is theoretically going to be. And, um, we're not— we're gonna, we're gonna continue on with the folding of towel conversation because that's what we're doing tonight. Ah, and, um, oh my goodness, hey Bernie, how are you? Um, yeah, I've actually had 3 students in the past 2 days who showed up to my class like, I've had a really crappy day, this is just not my day, and by the time they leave, they're happier and they're smiling. So I think it's true for most people, it gives you that. Oh, so Aokienzo is the, um, author of Zen Bow, Zen Arrow. And it's— I read this book long before I ever started shooting. Um, the Tao of Gun. I don't know if that's a thing, but if it is, DJ, let me know for real. No, Bernie, it's not just you. It really is lots of people. Uh, I know when people like, oh, you like shooting? And I'm like, oh, that must be a great way to get rid of your anger. And I'm like, no, but it is a great way to center and and calm down. So Senior Sanchez. All right. Well, that's, you're just, you guys are just talking to each other. I don't have to throw that up there. All right. So anyway, final reminder, here you go. Choose what's important to you and what is really important. Use the Eisenhower box to help you figure out what is urgent and important, what is not urgent and important, what is not important, but yet it seems very urgent. Perhaps someone else can do it for you. And then not urgent, not important, I don't agree with the delete it. I definitely think that you still need downtime. The other thing, I was stressed the other day and my husband said to me, me and the kids are what's important. And I'm pretty sure that that's true. Whoever it is that you love the most, and hopefully you fall into that category because we've had the conversation about loving yourself, um, and, uh, who do you really love? Who's most important to you? I just went to a fundraiser and left my family behind, and it's to not impact them, but my husband said on the way out, oh, the Republicans are taking you away from us again. And so it's like, as I'm driving, I'm like, all right, what's important? If the world did end tomorrow, that is another way to decide what's important. It's not planning that the world of end of the world is coming tomorrow. It's more a matter of sometimes reassessing what is actually important. So speaking of gun zen, um, Mike is out with the Boy Scouts and lots of smiles with the troop. While shooting shotguns. So it is fun. I've gotten to work with the Boy Scouts as well here in Harwinton, and the boys do already seem— always do have— seem to have a good time. So, and I forgot, uh, Fiona also relieves stress, and Fiona tries to go weekly to the range, um, and Oh gosh, how did I miss these? They get to handle firearms. Someone could steal my ice cream. As long as someone gives me a gun afterwards, I'll be a happy dude. And that's it. All right, I'm going to try to end this now because it's a whole half an hour and I tried to do 15 minutes. All right, reminders, housekeeping. Wednesday noon Eastern time, I have Jake back on. I've invited Michael if he wants to come. We're going to be talking about something and the detrimental effects of masking. There's a first part of that we're going to talk about before we get into masking, but we're going to talk about the, the negative side of masking that no one's talked about up till now and developmental stuff. Oh, problem solving. We're going to talk about problem solving and the problem with looking at a single problem with a single outcome with blinders on. And how important it is to break open your skills when it comes to problem solving and not to look at a single thing. So that's Wednesday. And then we will see if we're gonna talk about penguins and what they, what their everyday carry is as well. And if you don't know what Barbecue's talking about, you go back to my last session on YouTube, which was the bonus session with Jake last month. And you'll learn about penguins because Jake does studies on penguins in Antarctica. All right, love you all. Thank you for being all chatty and checking in with me tonight. Uh, hopefully I'll see some of you on Wednesday. If not, by all means check out the replay. As always, if you have ideas or thoughts of things you want me to talk about, go ahead and let me know. I am trying to get a little better about having an idea for for what's gonna happen each week. All right, love y'all. Thanks for everything and have a sparkling evening and make sure you do something important. I don't know what that's gonna be, but whatever it is for you.