Suicide Prevention Saturday - Pain and suffering

And I gotta hit the thingy. Oh no, where's the thingy? All right, so it is Suicide Friends Saturday for anyone who doesn't know who's already watching. Um, let's see, I, I saw some comments out there beginning. All right, so intro. I really got to do a better intro. Hi everyone, it's Suicide Friends Saturday. Why are we here? Oh, we are here because 2 out of every 3 gun deaths you hear about are actually suicides. So if we want to save lives, We need to talk about suicide prevention, and then we can start actually talking about violence prevention. And then we will find out that violence prevention and suicide prevention actually have a lot of things in common because it's all about our mental health and our noggin. So that being said, I'm going to be doing this a lot because I've been outside all day and in the wind and the sun, and for whatever reason, about 20 minutes ago, my nose decided it's going to start running today. So I'll try not to be gross. So anyway, holy smolies, what is happening in the chat over here, DJ? Just because there's so many folks here already, how about we do a short roll call? Because I know Paul Lathrop is currently finishing up the Weekend Bullet and he will be sending folks over. So let's start acknowledging the folks that are already here.

Happy to do that. Uh, Mike White, 2A Advocacy, was first in the room tonight. Lakeview Outdoors, hot on his heels. I see that you're out there, but so is Woods and Michael Dunn are in the room. So is, uh, 2 Live Moves saying good evening to everyone. That's your roll call.

All right, thank you very much. Yeah, I realized, I'm like, oh, I didn't mean to put those things out there. I'm not sure how I did that. So anyway, um, and we got a new one. All right, so tonight we're going to talk about pain and suffering because, you know, that's always fun, right? Said no one ever. Well, no, that's not true. There are some people who love pain and suffering. Um, I believe they're called masochists, but I'm not sure because sometimes my words are not correct. But pain and suffering, this is something that we generally try to ignore, right? Who wants to go through pain and suffering? Said no one. Like, let's go. That sounds like fun. Although, like I said, there are some people that enjoy pain and suffering. I, I've seen things where people are flogging themselves and that sort of stuff. Not my cup of tea. So what kind of pain and suffering are we gonna talk about tonight? Well, the truth of the matter is it does not matter if it is physical pain, or if it is emotional pain. It's exhausting, it's unpleasant, you can get stuck with it for a really long time, but nobody wants to go for it. Generally, most of us want to avoid pain and suffering at all costs. However, pain and suffering is actually the thing that we need to go through versus trying to get around because that is how we learn how to get better. Now, physical pain, there is some physical pain that you're not going to get through because it's just going to be there. All right, so Mike White was here earlier. He came back. And Tara, since you are here, and Saria. So hi guys. DJ did the roll call for everyone else who's already in the room. So pain and suffering. Physical, emotional. These are the two things we think of when we're talking about suicide prevention. When we're talking about anti-depression stuff, we're talking about both. There are things that can happen to you physically. They will absolutely put you in anxiety, depression, et cetera. And you have to figure out how to deal with the physical pain. The reason this week's conversation is about pain and suffering is because last week I could not walk because I have a back problem. And on Thursday and Friday, I could barely move because the amount of pain to try to take itty-bitty tiny steps was ridiculous. Like awful, awful. My, my husband and my kids took 1000% care of me and the house and the dogs because I just sat in a chair with my feet up trying to, trying to actually be comfortable. So my physical pain was high and my emotional pain also sucked because all the stuff I wasn't getting done because I was chair-bound and I had a party that just finished today and I couldn't clean my house and I had to cancel my students because I could not teach because I could not stand for more than 2 or 3 minutes at a time. So I've met lots of people who have lots of physical ailments, and here's the thing, if we have a problem, we usually don't want to talk about it because we don't want to burden anybody with any of our stuff. Our stuff is our stuff. We're going to keep it for ourselves. We're not going to tell anybody about it because we don't want to burden them. We don't want to let them know. Everyone else can enjoy their life while we're in pain. But that's not really true. Everyone else is probably in some kind of pain, whether it's emotional or physical. I've found I have lots of friends who have like physical ailments that you're never gonna see looking at them. They look fine because if you go look at last Saturday's, would you know that I could barely walk that day? Maybe, maybe not. I try not to let you guys know that And I don't know if that's right or wrong, but most of us do that same thing. We put on that face and everything is fine, we're good, and it's not always fine. So I'm looking at my notes so that I don't miss anything tonight. Pain and suffering— we need to go through it, not around it. Here's the thing, you know, um, boxers? And karate guys that like punch wood and stuff, they can punch through really heavy things because they've punched hard things over time and they've created micro fractures in their bones. And each time those micro fractures heal, you know what happens? The bone actually gets stronger where it was once broken. To me, broken bones sort of like our broken hearts, you know, that first love that you didn't think you'd ever get over. I remember crying amazingly for a long time and thinking my life was never going to be the same. I was 14, but, you know, but at 14, you know, that first love where it just rips your heart out of your chest, it's like that was a broken heart. And what happened? Did I get stronger? Well, it didn't last forever, even though at the time horrible things often feel like they're going to be forever because they're so painful. But coming out on the other side that you're stronger for it because you can find the blessing in the pain and suffering. And without it, the whole wanting to avoid it— this is where alcohol, drugs, stuff comes in because many of us will try to avoid the pain and suffering versus going through it. And it might be, huh, I'm an emotional eater. I'm just going to let y'all know, don't send me candy. So it could be food, it could be alcohol, it could be drugs, it could be any type of behavior that you're doing to avoid feeling whatever that pain and suffering is. So understand physical pain often leads to emotional pain. Emotional pain actually has been proven to show up in your body somehow. Like, if you're like me and you have viruses where you get, um, cold sores and stuff like that, if you're emotionally drained and exhausted, the physical side of things will also tend to suck. So that is my, my thoughts on the whole emotional and pain and suffering. DJ, what do you think? Got anything?

I think that the experience— you mentioned loss of a first love kind of thing. Well, there was a second one. For many of us, there's a third, a fourth, a fifth, you know, so on, until we maybe are able to find the one that we are going to be with forever, that, that one true love sort of thing. I don't like to use the word, but it fits here, and that's callous. We build up, as you were indicating, you know, boxers or, or, um, others building up those micro fractures. Well, we do the same with our hearts and with our minds. The thing is, it doesn't always— all those breaks don't have to lead to negative results. Most people think about that, well, that's negative if you broke something. But if you're finding that positive, and by gaining all the experience of those calluses that you develop with relationships, the way that you're able to then protect your heart from being such a tender target is really useful for your future. It doesn't feel like it in the moment, certainly. And additionally, referring back to last week's program, those things that are in your toolbox— well, the Sun being one of them, and the week before we were talking about that as well— you need to keep your tools and your skills sharp. If you apply those dull senses to a fresh situation, there's probably not going to be a lot of advancement from the last disappointment. So making yourself available to be disappointed, to be hurt that early in the game, that's not going to lead to the success that you, that one would hope that you would have. And so taking those lumps as you need to sometimes, getting over that hump that you don't seem to be able to push yourself over the top of, it will come. And if it doesn't, you just got to keep trying. I mean, I tell people to keep banging all the time. You got to keep it, you got to keep up there, you got to stay in the game. Speaking of staying in the game, late arrivals this evening. Paul Lathrop is out there. Misty, Mrs. Wayne, also stopping in to say hello. And the Baconator, the man from the great Pacific Northwest woods, is out there as well with the cute puppy nose.

And yeah, so Paul, just before you hopped on, one of the things we were talking about with pain and suffering is karate guys who punch wood. And create microfractures, and they're stronger after they heal. So you need to have— like, you have to break things in order to make them better. And that's kind of the idea of going through pain versus trying to go around pain. So that's kind of that, the short version. Um, tonight, one of the things that I want to do for you guys is I have a bunch of resources that I want to throw out there for everybody. Now, I, I did know, where is it? Uh, Lakeview Outdoors says, I need this chat. I hope you're still out there getting the chat. And if there's anything you need specifically, let us know. Um, so, uh, that's that. So tonight I have lots of things. So to sum up, like DJ, I just talked about pain and suffering sucks, right? But if we look at what can we learn from this, and if we're using our toolbox of things like empowering questions such as, how can I get through this and enjoy the process? Even if it's something we really don't want to enjoy, but if we ask ourselves that, that's a tool in our toolbox. How can I get through this and enjoy the process? Um, it's something that our mind will find the answer to. Versus the not-toolbox thing, which is, "Why is this happening to me?" Because your brain will also come up with an answer for that. So that is that. So resources for tonight: I've been talking to some different friends as of late. Paul is here, and Carrie Anne actually was just talking about— excuse me— Walk the Talk America. So I was talking to Walk the Talk America not that long ago. Uh, I was specifically talking to Jake. Um, why did I call him? I really don't know. I just called him because we had been talking about it. So over there— oh, let me make that big for those of you on little tiny screens. And it's still not quite big enough. Walk the Talk America is doing a sweepstakes. And why? Well, because like every other nonprofit out there, we are doing our best to help raise some money. They're just looking for $20 and $40 donations and show you the fun stuff. Oh wait, no, it's actually down below. You have prizes and, you know, prizes are always fun and there's lots to choose from. So for a $20 donation, you can get any of this stuff. Oh, well, you could have the opportunity of possibly winning any of the things that you see on your screen. And for those of you who have little tiny screens, I apologize. You can go back and make these bigger, or you can simply go to the Walk the Talk America sweepstakes. Ta-da! It should be popping up in the conversation shortly. Now, There is also, oh, a $40 prize, which is platinum prizes, and that's if you donate $40. And those are your two options. So there's more long guns and more stuff. So we like doing things for good causes. So that is why I want to bring you to that attention, bring that to your attention. I've been at a party all day long. It was a All right, I've been outside all day long because I had a fundraising party for our first selectman today, and I don't know, I started early this morning and set up actually started last night. It was a ton of fun, but my throat is trash right now and I've been forgetting simple words, so bear with me. So Walk the Talk America, more resources, but more importantly, we are asking you guys all of you gun owner types to go and fill out the Walk the Talk America survey. When I talked to Jake, the basic thing is just like Paul Lathrop actually was just talking about Newsom and how great California is because they've got the best lowest problems because of all of their laws, etc. So here it is, the Two Way Mental Health Survey. Tired of hearing statistics around healthcare, the media, and lawmakers that don't accurately represent gun owners? When I talked to Jake this week, he said it's because they really don't have surveys that focus on gun owners. They sort of talk for you when they're saying most of Americans want more gun laws. So Jake and the team are trying to get everyone, all you guys, all gun owners out there, please share this, to take this, um, take this survey. Oops, no, I don't want to sign in to continue. What is going on? Um, that's weird. Escape, escape. Um, so anyway, I don't know how to take this. It'll take We'll close October 2nd. Uh, how do I sign in? I don't know. Oh, there it is. You just click on the thing. Um, I have not taken it yet. I just wanted to share it with you guys. There's 6 pages, probably similar to this, but the whole goal is to actually get gun owners on the books as far as actually having real survey data that's not from—

oh no—

CDC. So I hope that makes sense for you guys. Please, please, please take this link, share it on all the YouTube, all the Facebook, all the places you can think of for where gun owners go, because each one of you can reach a couple places that nobody else is going to reach. So if all of you just take a quick note, just highlight and paste it somewhere, that would be awesome. And I will put these actually in the conversation thing on my YouTube channel, and I put it on my Facebook thing too because I know how to do that. All right, so that was one of the asks that, um, that Jake had for this week is A, please send money and try to win guns for the sweepstakes, and B, the mental health survey. That's even actually more important because he feels— they feel that Gun owners are rarely ever, um, what is that word, represented equally and fairly. And one of the main things they're looking for is basically stuff like why red flag laws are horrible and why we as gun owners fear getting help because of the regulations that are out there.

And 5 minutes is the, the top time investment in filling out that survey. So if you can also pass that along to the people that you send that link to. Hey, 5 minutes can very positively affect not just your future but the future of all citizens. That's a small price to pay in time, just a couple ticks on the clock.

Did you just do it? Is that why you know?

I pulsed through it. Yes, ma'am.

Okay, very cool. You DJ beat me to it. So, uh, but I'll— oh, wait, wait. So last week for my school, I had all this fun and I gave away stuff. So here's the deal. Those of you who are here, those of you who are watching this in replay, go ahead, go fill out the survey, come back, and in my comments section on my YouTube channel, I will put a, hey, if you filled out this survey, let me know here, and we'll do a crazy drawing. But like on everybody else's channel, not everyone's, but you must be present to win. But next week, if you are here, I put your name on the thing and you can win. What do you think, DJ? Is it worth that?

That's awesome. That's very generous of you. You know, take a survey and 2 out of 3 potential responses will get you a reward for your time and your energy. Thanks for that.

And here is a— this is for DJ. At some point it's actually going to get the address on here, and then DJ will get a prize too. So anyway, all right, what else? There's one more thing that Jake was asking about. And let me go back over that screen. The other part is social media. They're asking folks to record themselves saying something about why mental health is important to you and to promote the giveaway and the survey in your own words. So below, he's got a couple prompts. It says, mental fitness is important because, or I care for my mental health by. Doing whatever, um, to stay mentally sound, I focus on blah. So not only posting the link, but also actually doing a short video. I know some of us are great at that sort of thing. Others, yeah, not so much. But again, the idea is again to get people to understand you and I want the same thing that most people want. We wanna be healthy, we wanna be happy because being healthy and happy most of the time helps us get through that pain and suffering stuff that we've talked about. And there's more. Tonight is a resource-rich evening because I've been talking to a lot of people about a lot of stuff lately. So speaking of how challenging getting help can be, or we don't necessarily know where to go. One of the resources I found out just today, 'cause at my party someone— oh, and it failed for some reason, hold on. At my party was talking about this and I didn't know, but there's this place called Aware Recovery Care. And what is cool about this is that you don't have to leave home, and, um, it's an in-home addiction treatment. So my friend who was talking about this happens to have an alcohol challenge, and all treatment comes to you. So you can get treated in your own home by a professional, so no one knows about it, but you're taking care of yourself. So I thought that was a cool resource and I told him I would definitely share that with folks because I thought that was cool. So it's awarerecoverycare.com and I don't know why my link wouldn't drop on the YouTube side.

So, but I have that taken care of for you. It's out there. Aware Recovery is the out there as is the link for the self-assessment that Walk the Talk America org website provides. That's the address out there that says walkthetalkamerica.org/learn. Love.

Oh yes. Yeah. And it's so funny because I go to Walk the Talk America and here, here's what I do. I look at this screen, I'm like, huh, is free screenings under resources? No, it is not. Is it under 2A mental health survey? No, it's not. Oh wait, it's this huge green button right here. And when you click on it, you can get mental health screenings for just about anything. The top of their page simply says, taking a mental health screening is one of the quickest and easiest ways to determine whether you're experiencing symptoms of a mental health condition. And then you scroll down and it's Mental Health America and you've got depression, anxiety, bipolar, PTSD, addiction, mental health for kids, postpartum, ADHD, psychosis and schizophrenia. Eating disorder per parent test, your child's mental health. And in Spanish, they've got tests for depression and anxiety. Not that my Spanish is great, I'm pretty sure. So again, resources heavy tonight because it's been a long week. And if you are dealing with pain and suffering in your life, I do want you to have places to go, whether it is actual— good call, DJ. We forgot that a little bit. Um, so 2-1-1, and actually we need to update our banner here because it says locally call 2-1-1 for someone to talk to. There is now 988, just like 911, but that is a national line. And if you call 988, it will help you find someone. And, um, whether it's you have issues or whether you're trying to find help for someone else. All right, dude, I think we are done.

We have come to, uh, very near the end of another Saturday. Brooke, thanks you— thank you again so much on, uh, from me and on behalf of others gathered here and other places for providing this forum every Saturday evening. Uh, not only was this episode extra, extra resource-rich, but every episode has a richness, and, uh, a contribution to our community that I think is, is better than fair and just brilliant on, uh, on most evenings that we gather. Thank you again.

All right, well, thank you very much. And we're gonna say bye to Misty Mrs. Wayne, um, because she's gotta go. Um, and thank you to all of you guys for popping in here and saying hi and just letting me know you're out there. I truly appreciate it. Like I said, I had a fundraiser today It was from 2 to 6, and our last guest left at 6:30, I think. But it's just such a blessing. And it's so funny because we all have— like, DJ and I've been talking about toolboxes, having tools, and your friends and your family are part of that toolbox. It's like, I could not have held the party I had without friends like Kathy And, oh my gosh, and lots of other people who came and helped. Either they dropped stuff off for me or they picked stuff up or they brought stuff and they shared and they told people about it. So each one of you and Paul, I have to thank you a lot because you also lately, if I pop on your stream, especially on a Saturday, like, oh, don't forget to go over there. So thank you for sending me more people. So Yeah, no, it's okay, hon. So Paul is going to be at GRPC. Am I saying that right? Gun Rights Policy Convention?

Oh no.

Yes. Okay.

Conference.

See, this is why I need people, because I can't know it all and I certainly can't keep it straight half the time. So, but yeah, and he keeps everyone saying you should be there. And I'm like, yes, as soon as I get a sponsor who will send me there. And actually, but next weekend I'm working Live Free or Die, which is an IDPA match, and I volunteer all weekend long, so I can't be two places at once. So, but again, thank you all for popping in today. Uh, those of you watching replay, uh, please help spread the word. I will probably be putting up one of those, uh, mental health is important to me videos sometime soon. Tomorrow, in theory, I'm taking a day off, so pain and suffering Yes. Relaxing, take care of yourself. Yes. Building your toolbox. Yes. Until I see you next week, do all of those things. Well, you don't have to do the pain and suffering if you don't, but make sure you help yourself. So good night all. Sleep well. And for those of you who don't sleep, go check out Hillbilly Nation in, in about half an hour at 10:00-ish, give or take Eastern time, which is 9 Central, because 9 Central is the only time that matters, right, Paul? All right, good night