Suicide Prevention Saturday - Will it continue?

All right, folks, for those of you who were last year— last year, wow, words— for those of you who were here last week, we're going to time the sucker, see how long it goes. So, um, for those of you who didn't know or may not have been here last night— ooh, barbecue is here, shocking. Uh, good job remembering, dude. Uh, so for those of you who were last week, We got about 15-ish, 20-ish minutes into maybe the stream and Facebook killed me. They took me off. And so I got an email from them saying, hey, you're against terms of service because you're talking about suicide live on the air. So we're going to try it again this week since I've been doing this on social media since 2018 and only once before did YouTube actually grabbed me and take me off. And so it all worked out then. So if they do it again, I'm gonna appeal, be like, hey guys, can you just like maybe mark my channel or something? I don't monetize anything here, so— but anyway, hmm. All right, hey y'all, uh, what am I doing tonight? It's Suicide Prevention. Everyone type prevention in the chat, go ahead. Prevention, uh, Suicide Prevention Saturday. Why? Because 2 out of every 3 gun deaths we hear about are suicides. So if we truly want to save lives, then we want to talk about suicide prevention and mental health stuff. So, um, oh yeah, no, so I'm sorry. All right, 2 out of every 3 gun deaths are suicide. So if we want to save lives, we talk about suicide and mental health. Oh, now DJ calls. Now DJ shows up. Nice of you to join me, sir.

Pleased to be here. And Yeah, that's about all I got.

No, no, no, I was good. I'm like, I was getting ready to do the roll call because, you know, people already started in, so— but you're here now, so that's your job. So if you want to get caught up on all that, you're welcome to.

I would love to. Gun Websites is out there, so is Chris Broncato. We got Guns Barbecue out there, Mark Thomas as well, Chasing Ghosts saying hello. Sorry if I'm 93 the Krabby Turtle. Uh, did I say Mark Thomas? Because he's out there. Let's see, Chris from the 740 is also scrolling down to the bottom. We got Hillbilly Up is the last new one in the chat. That's your roll call.

All right, thank you very much. And yeah, and starting the night off giving barbecue a hard time. No. So I saw there was a voice text in my inbox. Did I read or listen to the voice text? No, I did not. I've been teaching most of the day, I'm not gonna lie. I've also been being a good little housewife, and I did laundry today and I ironed things today, so my husband has nice clean crisp shirts for Monday. I feel very, um, not Ward Cleaver, June Cleaver-ish. There we go. Um, for the— oh, Mike Bellinger, sorry, I know you weren't there when DJs rolled it off, but, uh, Mike is there. Uh, everybody congratulate Mike, he's got a new job doing one of his favorite things in the world. He is now working at animal control, and he loves dogs and working with the, the hard cases and all that sort of fun stuff. So, um, there is that. All right, so Suicide Winter Saturday, why are we here? 2 out of her 3 gun deaths. Also, we're testing the algorithm tonight to see whether or not we get through the full show or not. So if I all disappear, if I disappear all of a sudden, I apologize. And it just means that next week we'll call it something different, like Mental Health Saturday Night Chat or something. Hopefully it does not come to that. However, it's Gizzard Gary, otherwise known as Gary Decker. So there we go. All right, so I just talked about real quick, Mike just got a new job doing something he loves, taking care of animals, especially lost animals. And What is better than doing something you know that you love to do, that you're giving back to community? Now there's so many things we could talk about, but the YouTube thing is like the one that's on my head as far as how do I get my message out to everybody if YouTube's gonna pull me when I talk about suicide prevention and they kind of don't notice that. So what can I do about it? These are the things that make us happier when we kind of realize what do I have control over versus what I don't. For those of you who don't know, there is the Serenity Prayer, right? And the Serenity Prayer, I will probably butcher it, but the short version of it is, God grant me the ability to control the things I can, accept the things I can't, and the wisdom to know the difference. I think it's a little more flowery than that, but that's a short version. So with things like terms of service and AI and getting censored and all of those things, it's like, what can I do? To still be happy and content and reach everybody without melting down mentally. Because, you know, I've been doing this since 2018, and it's one of those things I would hate to have to change the name of Suicide Prevention Saturday because it's Suicide Prevention Saturday. Suicide is only one word, prevention is another, and Saturday. I've just been calling it that from the beginning, so hopefully that will be going better. I think Mr. Gizzard Gary thought we weren't recognize him because he came on first as Gary Decker. So anyway, control the things you can, accept the things you— wait, control the things you can, accept the things that you can't, or just let them go. So this will lead to a happier event. For example, last night my phone died. And I was supposed to be running an interview for a friend of mine. We actually had the interview back at SHOT Show, and my audio was crap because I hadn't tested the mics in a loud place before. So I learned my lesson there. So I did something and I failed. I'm like, okay, we got to redo this. Now, after months of planning, literally we were supposed to do it last night, but because my phone died, I get an, uh, a text when my phone comes back on. He's like, hey, are we doing this? Because I totally spaced it. And the reason I'm telling you the story is the reply I gave to him was, well, I totally messed it up. But on the plus side, being flexible is one of the keys to happiness because I could have sat there and beat myself up for how could I possibly have screwed up an interview that I had scheduled for a week. But that interview kept changing what day it was. And then I can beat myself up and be like, oh, how could I? I'm the host of the show. I'm supposed to be here for people. So that's just a horrible thing for me to let somebody down. Or I can look at the fact that life happens, we move on, and we continue on. So where am I going to be happier, beating myself up or realizing we can redo this another time? Anybody? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller? Are you happy you're letting go of stuff or holding on to it? Well, let's see. Look at my hands. If I'm holding on to it, what do I got here? I have a fist, right? So if I have a fist, what am I most likely to do with a fist? I can hold on to stuff, sure, but from time to time fists are used for other things. Now, if I let go, i.e., this hand here that is wide open, stuff can go into my hand or out of my hand, right? So holding onto stuff is usually harder, more draining, and you get to struggle a lot harder if you really hold onto stuff versus letting go of stuff and letting it float off your hand or your mind or your body or your to-do list, whatever it happens to be. We're a little bit happier. We can wave to people with our hands open, right? You may, hey, how you doing? So, oh yeah. And look, two open hands, we can pray. So there's that too. I didn't even think about that. That's just, this is something that I do in class on a regular basis. But if you ever want to come to a Pitzl class, we'll talk about prayer hands. And no, you don't have to go to church to come to my class, but Um, yes, uh, Mark Thomas, you've got me. Uh, it is stoicism without a doubt, and it's being the duck. It's allowing all of those things that can grab at you and bug you and claw into you. Uh, just this past week I took Facebook off of my phone because I want to focus more on getting stuff done. As humans, we like to get stuff done. As humans though, we also overestimate how much we can get done versus how much we really can get done. So there's always a list, but taking Facebook off my phone made it easier for me to get stuff done because I don't have something holding on to my attention. I took it away and I let go, and I can say— I can wave goodbye to it, or I can wave hello to it. 'If I'm looking to attract something else.' What? All right, sorry, this is going to be a squirrel moment, but, uh, Tara here: 'My bike check got a warning for nudity and dude content.' Really? Not nude content? Nudity and dude content? That is hysterical. Hysterical slash not good. Um, so yeah, the censorship that we've got going on. So here's the thing, censorship can be good. Are you ready for this? When I took Facebook off my phone, I am now censoring the content that goes into my head, cuz I have to choose what I'm gonna look for. And to be fair, I come over here more often than not, i.e., YouTube, because I can look for something I want to find versus just lots of stuff. Aw, look at Hillbilly. He's doing a little, he's doing a chat roll call for everybody in case anyone didn't feel like if they miss DJ. Um, so anyway, that's what we've got tonight. What do we do about, uh, censorship? Well, realize that sometimes censorship is a good thing. How do we make ourselves healthier? Well, we decide, are we really holding on to something and it really serving us, or do we let go of it and give up and let it go wherever it is? If you are, uh Christian, most of us will say let go and let God in that we can hold on to stuff, but does it really serve us? Ask those questions. And then when you let go and let God, the nice thing about having faith in a higher power is that you can believe in the fact that something else is better or coming down your way. Now, when you let go, does it always work? Well, no. Do you have those feelings that come back and grab you? Yes. And what do you— sorry, oh my God, I should just hide the chat. Um, it's being aware of knowing that you have a choice, holding on to something or letting go of something. So I let go of Facebook, it's helped me a lot. Then I let go of Instagram, took that off too, because I found myself going to Instagram instead. And we get to curate what goes in here, and that's probably the best thing that we can do for happy lives. DJ, what's some of their favorite things you've pruned out of your life from time to time that they sneak back in, but at least for a moment you consciously, um, realize that you're letting go of something?

Barbecue will know this all too well from back chats and others. When I start to collect something, I tend to jump into the deep end and then figure out how to swim backwards and accumulate.

Did I start a dice collection for you, or was that already something you did?

I appreciate those. That may be the beginning of something.

It is, it is. I did not know that about you, so like, oh!

They are humble in number as it is right now. Check in next year. So on my way to understanding things, I tend to like to surround myself with lots of examples, whether they be the best or the worst, usually somewhere in between, or you know, on the lower end of the spectrum. And I like to learn from what I don't know about those acquisitions sometimes. Well, the ones on that bottom low end kind of thing, they either break or I pass on, or I've fixed or learned all I can about this particular thing. And that's when, when things get too piled up, that's when I know to let some of them go. And Barbecue is an example of that when it comes to guitars. Whereas I once had a couple, now he has a couple more. And that's— yeah. And if I can also, if I can pass things through my experience into someone else's, I really like to be able to do that. You know, the don't have kids thing. Not that I treat people as if they're children, but, you know, someone expresses an interest in music, I'm there. Let's talk about it. Let's, you know, spend hours getting to know each other through those kind of things.

I'm sorry, I'm laughing because I did actually pick up my guitar the other day and tune it, and then I did a couple of scales, but that's as far as I got.

Hey, any progress is progress, right? I mean, it's good progress. I, I'm glad that you did that. And to anybody out there, regardless of— I mean, if it's a guitar or it's any other hobby you haven't visited in a while, what I say to people who haven't played their guitars when I'm trying to chide them and get them, you know, back on the, the straight and narrow when it comes to picking them up is when you're walking by, you don't have to pick it up and play it, but you can just touch it. You make the strings— if the strings make sound, you welcome music back into, you know, your house or, you know, your yard, wherever it is that you're playing. And so that, you know, I do also believe that when we live or enjoy parts of our lives through those kind of creative expressions, too often we think there isn't time for them. Well, a few moments, or even just one, in passing a guitar on a stand or on a wall Oh, actually, thank you for that.

That actually brings me back to something else that I learned last week, um, on Friday nights. I messed everything up last Friday night, but a week ago Friday night— and I might have said this last year, last year, last week— however, um, when trying to figure out where you're spending your time, this guy did this article and it was about time management and how to, you know, plan your week. And on Friday night, 7 PM, that's what I do. I sit down, I sit down with a bunch of other people on the internet, and we plan our week. And there's a formula for going through that. But the guy who puts that together, he sent out a newsletter. He's like, one of the biggest things that people have a problem with is prioritizing. Like, like I said earlier in the cast today, is that we want to do so much stuff And then we don't get it done, or we get some of the stuff done, but then we put more stuff on there and we get some of it done and we put more stuff on there. So there's always more to do than we really can. So he very succinctly said, imagine for a moment you just found out you have 12 months to live. He's like, I know it's morbid. However, what would you want to do if you knew you only had 12 months? And back to earlier when I said I feel like June Cleaver, for real, when I ask myself that question, what do I want to do if I only had 12 months? I'm like, yeah, I just want to be a housewife. I want to wash the dishes, do the laundry, iron the shirts, and put everything away and have my home be a nice clean place to come home to. Dinner on the table, snacks for the kids when they come from school, all of those things. But in all of the time I've ever been through 5 million different types of education regarding planning and all of that, no one ever asked that question of, you know, all right, imagine for a moment you've only got 12 months to live. What are your priorities? And that just made it so much easier. What do you think, DJ? If you only had 12 months, what would you do? What'd be your priority?

Drink Diet Dr Pepper, play guitars, and smoke cigarettes. Now, I don't know how to take that question seriously right now. I I don't, but that's leaning towards the humor that Barbecue has interjected in the text chat. Good to have him out there. I have a really hard time organizing things to the point of satisfaction. So I'm usually pretty delinquent in getting anything started because I see the imperfections before I've even begun. Oh, the—

oh, wait, wait, the analysis paralysis. I am so there with you, dude. I get that.

Right on. And so what I try to remind myself of is there are far more things that I'm, that I can be positive about, or more importantly, that I have some control over. And so that's definitely one of the steps that I take to identify those things that I need to just shunt over to the side, ignore completely, walk away, put on the back burner, whatever it is that I need to do. But there, I think that if, if we all sort of think about it for a second, there are far more choices that we have control over than those we don't.

There is that. And we get to choose what we're focusing on— that imperfect progress versus that perfect perfection. Because perfect perfection doesn't occur, and there is no such thing as having it all done just so. Because no matter what you do, like the Mona Lisa, for example, one of the greatest pieces of artwork in the world that people are at least aware of, and it's just like, someone could make it better. But it's like, yeah, the imperfect progress, that is also one of my keys. That actually, it's been a couple years now, imperfect progress is definitely one of my things. So, all right folks, we've made it to 18 minutes. I don't know, we might actually make it through the night tonight. What do you think, DJ? Are our odds— are the odds forever in our favor?

The odds are up 7, come 11 they're gonna pay the line. Um, uh, somebody— I'm sorry, you read it off and I haven't doubled back to see whom it was, but someone mentioned stoicism. You know, for me, Stoicism is something that I do try to practice. I'm also kind of an ascetic, and so I don't mind riding through the difficulty and frankly pain sometimes in order to have a sense of— not absolute, but a sense of mastery or power over those things. And so sometimes it becomes— it's a little, you know, I slide— it's retrograde when I do that. And so one of the things I try to jump I used to jump out of that is each time I'm grinding on something, I'm ruminating. Usually it's not on the positive stuff. Usually it's not on the stuff that I have any control over.

Right.

Like, like at all. Like someone else's feelings or—

Oh my God, the amount of wasted time you and I and the collective world goes over thinking about what someone thought about something we said. How many times have you had something you said to someone be like, oh, I wonder if they thought this. Oh my gosh, I feel so bad. And then a week later, I'm like, DJ, I'm so sorry I said this. And DJ says, what?

I'm one of those people who continues to be blown away, like, exactly like that. I'll think that there's something, uh, just really seriously wrong with something that I said or, um, how someone feels that I've treated them. And it is a lot of the time Dude, what are you talking about?

Didn't even notice. I mean, it goes the other way though too, because with our communication system the way it is, we've got this, we've got chat, we've got texts. Like, poor Barbecue, he actually sent me a text and I still didn't see it. It was like just the other day I talked to someone who's like, oh, I stopped calling because you didn't respond to my email. And I'm like, dude, I just suck at email. But he thought that I was mad. Or that I was ignoring him on purpose. And I'm like, no, I'm so sorry. So it goes both ways. We say things, do things. Some stuff sticks in here. Like I've said things, I'm like, oh, that came out wrong. I hope she didn't take it this way. And I hold onto it and it doesn't serve me because my poor little brain is going, oh, the horror, the horror, the horror. While the person over there, A, didn't notice what I said. B, doesn't care. And C, they have the freedom because they let it go, even if they did hear it, because it doesn't matter to them. So letting go is the freedom. That's what— that's my— that's what I've realized. And letting go is the challenge though, man. You have to remember to make that choice. So any tips?

Active thinking.

Yeah, yeah.

And being— and being proactive as much as possible. I mean, there are always going to be things that'll sneak up on us or come absolutely out of nowhere. It's not bad to have a contingency plan for days like that, having something you can enact almost last minute or instantaneously. I mean, Brooke has advised, you know, the look up, you know, raise your chin, square your shoulders, look upward, smile. Those are all little quick fixes there, you know, quick—

and take a breath, take a nice big breath in. That oxygen really helps your brain chill.

Straight physiological advice, none better in that, in that instance. So If I'm trying to, if I'm trying to distract myself from that which is, which has got me so distracted— did that make sense? Um, if I'm only— if I'm, if I can't— if I find myself just ruminating, focusing, grinding on the same stuff that's negative, I need to have things in my immediate, you know, reachable, like right the hell in front of me that would distract me.

The squish on—

there you go. Squishy.

Well, Yes, I know. I almost got you. I almost got you.

And as you might guess, there is, you know, within arm's length, you know, 2 guitars and, you know, a Poppy ball instead.

Nice sound effect. It does.

Absolutely. No, that's cool. You know, another thing that I make sure that I have around is I like to have a candle nearby. Regardless of the time of day or time of year. If I can zen out on a flame— I mean, a dancing flame— how primordial is the sitting in, you know, around a campfire mesmerized for hours? The same thing with the clouds or the waves. There is something all around us that can take us away from wherever it is that we might be. Go ahead.

Biggest challenge is realizing that it's there for you to grab and do something with. Because when we're stuck in that not so great thought, whether it's like, oh, what did they think? What have I done? All of that sort of stuff. It's remembering you have something that will distract you and making that change because those ruminating thoughts where you're stuck in them, it's like quicksand. It wants to pull you down. But I think Chris has a good Good question. What if you let go too much? Because we are talking about suicide prevention, and we're not trying to go to apathy. We're not trying to go to where we just don't care about anything and the world is a better place if we're not— no longer here, right? So to me, when Chris asked that question, that's sort of how I feel it, right, is what if you let go too much? Because that is depression, right? Depression is being Eeyore times a thousand. Where, oh, it doesn't matter, nothing matters, everything is horrible, it doesn't matter. And we've lost the ability to reach out, feel, and grab the squishy things that we can play with.

You're holding them up in tandem and you're talking about—

they're different, right? Right. So these guys pop and make noise. This one is just squishy and quiet. It's all right. I'm gonna try to be like Tara and get, um, you know, marked now this time instead of for nude and lewd comments or whatever the heck it was. But yeah, so the what if you let go too much is like, uh, yeah, I mean, not to that point, but when you say let go too much, that's what I think of. Because A, it takes effort to let go. It also takes effort to hold, because like DJ was saying, he's like, even if you have stuff all around you that you can just grab and play with Um, see here. Are you better now? I have a unicorn as well, um, because unicorns make everyone happy, right? Especially when they go to eat you. So there is that. But if you let go of stuff too much and you just don't care, that's not the same. I don't think you can let go too much. I think we worry too much. We hold on to things. We think about what could happen. We think about what did happen that we can't change. So I'm not sure we can let go too much as long as we're not getting to that apathy.

Creatures of comfort, of habit and of comfort. And when either one of those things is interrupted, I think we can all relate. There's a schism. We either, you know, we didn't get the validation, we didn't get it the way we wanted it, we didn't get the way we expected it to be. Someone else got up on the situation, you know, all these things that we can look at, look to or point at and scapegoat a lot of the time. I'll just take, you you know, dependence on that one for sure. I'm always looking for some reason other than— not always, but oftentimes I am looking for a scapegoat for my own deficiencies in something.

Oh yeah, we actually— yeah, like the— because you're not by your— you're by yourself in your own home, right? But for those of us who live with other people, it's always someone else's fault that the keys are missing or they're not the garbage or there's this or that. It's never our fault. We do not like being wrong or incorrect or like we made a mistake.

So, and truly, if there's only an inch of milk left in the carton, there's no one else that I can hold responsible for that. And, you know, that, and, and owning, owning those things is often difficult as well.

It's part of the Stoicism thing. It's the, oh, I know. This is a shaman friend of mine actually said this to me. He's like, you're going to be happiest when you can realize that it just is, when you stop putting it in good or bad and just realizing that it just is. And I'm just like, oof, that's a tall order. I cannot say it just is to lots of things that happen in this world. However, I understand the philosophy be behind it. Whereas like, um, we've talked about the farmer story before where farmer's kid breaks his leg, all the village says, oh, too bad. But then the next day they come to, um, take conscripts for the war and they say, oh good. And, um, or, you know, they say congratulations. And it's just one of those things like we really don't know if something is good or bad. Right? So for those who've been rocking with me for a long time, you know I've got some dark things happen to me as a child. And as horrible as those things were at the time, if those things didn't happen, I wouldn't be here with you sharing mental health and suicide prevention. Just like me being suicidal as a teenager, also not awesome, but if I hadn't been through the darkness, I wouldn't be here to try to talk to people about Suicide prevention in the first place. So just because something seems like it's bad and horrible, it may not be. It may just be. And if you can learn how to just be, you'll be happier. If you attempt to just be, then you're starting to become more aware of what your brain is thinking or what your emotions are feeling, and that's going to make you a better person in general because you're going to realize Okay, I need to take that breath. I need my shoulders back. All right, I have a moment of right now. That's it. We don't have control over what happens next. We don't change anything that happened before. And they always talk about anxiety is looking forward and being worried about what's going to happen. Depression is looking back and wishing you could change it. So the zen of being now and here is where we start, and being aware of what's going on.

So there are two comments that I want to bring to the screen, and the first one is— yeah, wait, here's some laughter, okay? Guns and Barbecue says, I like squishy. And then right, right underneath it, in tandem, we got Mark Thomas's comment. It's on your screen now. It says, it is not happening to you, it is just happening. Yeah, perspective.

And one of my favorite ones is like that, uh, Dean Grazioso says— Tony Robbins says is Imagine for a moment you reframe this in, it's not happening to you, it's happening for you.

Ooh, that's a move up the scale. That's, that's a higher mountain to climb for sure. Self-realization. Oh wow.

So with that, mic drop. Goodbye. Have a nice day.

Wouldn't be bad to, wouldn't be bad to land on there as, as the last one on the way out the door, but I wasn't primed over the end switch, nor have we got, got the final roll call out, but I'm prepared to give that if you're prepared to hear it.

You have to get going because I go— it's Saturday night and I let my kids stay out late, so I gotta go get her. So Hillbilly, love you, have an awesome show. I will not be there. Um, but yeah, all right, DJ, take us out with the final roll call and the final words.

This evening we were joined by G Webs, Chris Brancato. We had Guns and Barbecue out there, thanks man. Uh, Mark Thomas, Chasing Ghosts, Sorry Fan 93, the Crabby Turtle, Chris from the 740. Hillbilly Up is out there, so is Mike Bellinger. Got Chris Brancato. Did I get you twice? Got Gizzard Gary out there, Ozzy Osbourne, the Tactical Fudd, G23 Mike White, and I hope I've got everybody. I'm going to go ahead and check comments one last time before I say hey everybody out there. Um, if you're in crisis or you know somebody who is, call 800-273-8255. If you don't want to call, you can text the word TALK, T-A-L-K, to 74141. 741. Locally, you can dial the 211, the 988. You know, help is out there. Reach out, let somebody know that you want to talk, or it's time for you to get some things off your chest, or it's time to have someone help you to find local resources because you need an intervention, or you know somebody that does. Um, share out this, this stream, hit the thumb up on your way out the door. And yeah, think about joining Hillbilly on the program that follows on his channel coming up. I see that Uh, Chasing Ghosts is also having a program coming up perhaps later on this evening. So we see everybody again. Be safe, have fun, take care of your crew and you, and rock!