What are you digesting?: How to Protect Your Mind From Bad Input - Episode 19 w/ Coach Bryn

Would you eat poison if it was going to make you die? Would you eat something that was rotting if it was going to make you sick? I think you'd say no. Therefore, let's be more conscientious of what we allow to come out of our mouths, because as they say, you hear it first. It had to be conceived of in your mind, so ultimately it is affecting the host, the speaker, more than it's going to affect the person it's intended for. I'm excited for you to see this week's episode, but before we get to that, I have a message for you. If you're a parent of an elite athlete or a coach of a high-performing team and you want, you're looking for some help or assistance with making them more mentally resilient, perform with more confidence, be more consistent, anything like that, then this is for you. I have an 8-week program all designed to address exactly that, to help your athlete be at their best on a more consistent basis and not get tripped up by those little voices in their head and getting down on themselves for mistakes, but performing like we know they can. So what I want you to do is don't delay, schedule a— just grab a time on my calendar through this link and let's set up a time to talk about your specific situation and how what I'm offering in my 8-week program can help. Okay, so it's Brynn Drescher, www.brynnewood.com/freeconsultation. So click this link, grab a time on my calendar. I look forward to talking to you. And now on to this week's episode. Hello everybody, welcome back to another episode of the Mental Advantage podcast. This week it's just me, Coach Brynn. I hope you've been enjoying all the amazing guests and episodes we've brought to you thus far. And if there's anything you want to see, let me know. Because this podcast is for the listener. Want to make sure that you're getting value out of it. In today's episode, we are going to be talking about some actionable steps on how to be more conscientious of developing the right mindset, supporting that mindset so that you can rocket yourself to success. We'll be discussing some of the traps that you fall into and different things that you're not even aware of that might be holding you back that just seem like simple things. So definitely stay tuned to today's episode, which is called What Are You Digesting? Before we get into the main part of the episode, I do want to send out my condolences to mental skills coach, author Trevor Moade. He lost his battle with cancer this week. He was particularly close to Russell Wilson, the quarterback for the Seattle Seahawks, as well as many other names in business. He wrote a book called It Takes What It Takes. I personally read it, thought it was very valuable, and was really looking forward to having a great conversation with Trevor about that book. Unfortunately, that won't be happening, but I'm— this is why we write books. This is why we touch lives because your signature will be left in the lives that you've touched. So thank you, Trevor, for what you've done, and I hope that I will be able to continue some of the work that you've done in the field, as, as well as just keep your work alive through sharing your work with others. So thank you, Trevor, and my condolences to the Mo'ad family, as well as Russell Wilson and anyone else that was affected by this loss more personally. All right, so today's episode is all about what are you digesting? What are you digesting? Now, I'll be honest, I know the first thing you think of when you hear digesting is food, right? I mean, they say that the first parts of digesting a dish is your eyes and then your nose and then, you know, like the actual taste, right? So presentation is everything. And it is no secret that it's important that you eat certain foods to support healthier thinking and just even cognitive function, right? Your brain, your mind, getting the proper rest— all of these things are really important. I do want to talk about, however, digestion apart from food, in that we're talking about mental skills, right? We're talking about the mental space, how to support the right environment to have the best mindset for success, for taking on your fears, you know, overcoming mistakes, lots of those things. So we will be talking about digestion on 3 levels: the mouth, the eyes, and the ears. So first, we're going to talk about with the mouth. Most of us are having A lot of conversation. You probably have conversation on a regular basis. Those out loud, those with other people. Notice I made a distinction there. Go ahead and put a little comment below and say me if you have conversations with yourself out loud. Tell me I'm not the only one. It's okay. I understand. Secondly, obviously sometimes we have conversations with other people and then we have the kind we just have in our head, not out loud. There's lots of conversations happening. We want to talk about the quality of that conversation because as you're talking, you're digesting those words. Now, when I was younger, I read a book called The Phantom Tollbooth. I don't remember much about the book, but there was one particular scene that has always stuck out for me, and it was about a dinner party that the main character had been invited to. From my recollection, the main character was a boy, a young boy, but he was at this dinner party and they said he had to make a speech before they could eat. So he said a bunch of words. I don't know what he said. And then other people spoke up and said a bunch of words, but their words were all food. And then they brought in the words that they said, and his were all these you know, bland words that he had said in his speech, and everybody else had these delicious dishes and things that they had mentioned. This is significant because it's all about would you want to eat the words that you're saying? So let's just talk about the quality of our words when we're saying something like, you suck, you're terrible, you're the worst, or we're gossiping about someone or we're, you know, complaining or blaming. Technically, as it releases your— as you're saying it, it might fall off the tongue, but I'd be willing to admit it feels differently, you know, even in a physical sense, than saying something like, that person's amazing, I love it. As long as you resonate with what you're saying. So being aware of the type of words that you're allowing out of your mouth, would you want to eat them? Would they taste delicious? If we imagine that the words we're saying, negative, are disgusting, putrid, rotting, and the positive words are delicious, delectable, delightful to eat, would you want to eat a good portion of the conversation you're having with others, the conversation you're having with yourself, whether it be out loud or in your head. That's something for you to think about. When we start to sort of make our teeth the gatekeeper of what comes out of our lips or our mouth and say, wait a minute, let me pause. Would I want to eat this based on the criterion that Brynn has just suggested? If the answer is no, then as we were all said as kids, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. And that is to yourself as well as someone else. It's very important that we start to notice the content of our conversations, because if words are just energy not even just talking on the digesting of the, the delicious kind or the disgusting kind, then what if all the energy you put out comes back to you? So if I'm putting out nothing but negative energy, and like they said when we were kids, I'm rubber and you're glue, everything you say bounces off of me and sticks to you— and this is obviously the person who's saying it— then do you want that to bounce back to you energetically? Do you want a bunch of people complaining blaming you, speaking ill of you, those type of things? I'm willing to bet the answer is no. So if that's the case, then I think we need to change the content of our conversation. Now, some of you may be watching this and say, but what if it's true? What if they really are terrible? What if they're a mean person? What if, you know, that may be some of your objections. The question is, Do you need to be the one to say it, to speak it? Because in my opinion, when I'm speaking negatively about someone— in my experience, I should say, not just opinion— if I'm speaking that, you know, with a lot of energy and negativity about someone, it starts to affect me. Maybe get a little bit uneasiness in my stomach, maybe feel a little bit tightness in my chest. So what I'm digesting in even having to conjure up these words is not feeling very good with my spirit or my system. So just because we can find facts to support the evidence that I'm saying, is it worth the cost of how it's making me feel? Would you eat poison if it was going to make you die? Would you eat something that was rotting if it was going to make you sick? I think you'd say no. Therefore, let's be more conscientious of what we allow to come out of our mouths, because as they say, you hear it first. It had to be conceived of in your mind, so ultimately it is affecting the host, the speaker, more than it's going to affect the person it's intended for. Particularly because they don't even know that you're feeling that way. Now that we can talk much about the energetic lower levels of things, but I do want you to be conscientious about that. So first step, let's be more cognizant of what's coming out of our mouth, what we're allowing to escape, and what we're going to leave for someone else. There's plenty of people out there that will complain and blame. You don't have to be one of them. Plenty of people that will talk ill of other people. You don't have to be one of them. Decide today that that's not one thing that you want in your system. You're not gonna— because you're gonna keep this system clean and pristine. All right, so that's step number 1. Now we're gonna go to step number 2, where we're going to talk about what you're digesting with your eyes. With your eyes. I'm going to ask you right now, what do you watch What kind of television do you watch? What kind of movies? What are you reading? Now, I am very much into movies and entertainment and things like that, but I submit to you that— did you know that your brain doesn't know the difference between a murder or grave injury on screen as it does in real life. It doesn't distinguish between the two, especially since movies take you on a ride. You're emotionally attached to the character and you have a visceral response to their loss, even though it is a fictional made-up story. So if you're watching a lot of TV shows that have a significant amount of violence, or you're watching TV shows that have a lot of killing, murder, and you say, well, I don't watch stuff like that. Okay, well, we'll get to you in a moment, but let's stay with this— murder, killing, things like that. One thing that happens through repeated exposure, we become desensitized to it to the point that we feel like it doesn't affect us. Well, let me give you an example. Have you ever heard of gravity? Technically, right, as you're sitting in your chair, do you feel gravity right now? I'm going to be honest, I don't feel gravity right now. Now, if I threw up a ball, it's going to come back down, but I don't feel it, right? Maybe if I'm hanging out of a tree, I feel the blood rushing to my head, but I don't feel that sitting here. I'm like, Oh, I feel the force of gravity against me. Or air, oxygen. We know it's there, but we can't necessarily see it. We can feel it as we take it in in our lungs. A lot of times we mistake the fact that we don't feel some immediate impact of something to the fact that it has no effect on us. I want to let you know, just because you can't necessarily feel the direct impact of something, it is absolutely affecting you. Your brain, your system, all those things. You've— have you ever felt stressed during a movie or gotten really wrapped up in a character and cried when the love story didn't work out or the couple broke up or, God forbid, something happened to one of them? I have. I don't know about you. I want you to remember that everything you're consuming with your eyes is affecting you on a physiological and psychological level, whether it be conscious or unconscious. It's important that we're more cognizant of what we're consuming. The interesting thing about television is— I don't know if you know this, but let's take the news for example. You watch this on a regular basis. The news is very negative. I've talked about this on a previous episode, I believe. I do want you to be aware of is that The news's job is to keep you tuned in, just like every TV show. They actually call it programming. A program. Are you programming yourself around death, destruction, loss, sadness, breakups? All the things that these shows take you on this ride. They give you some joy, right? At the end of a newscast, they always have a feel-good story, but there's a lot of negativity to get to that feel-good story. But they tell you about the feel-good story early enough that you won't tune away because you're going to need some good news after hearing all this bad news. I want you to be more conscientious about what you're consuming with your eyes. What are you watching on a regular basis that is helping shape a worldview that gives you hope, gives you peace of mind, gives you a sense that the world is working out for you versus the deck is stacked against you, the little guy always loses, the guy never gets the girl, or only the good guy gets the girl, the best looking person. All of these different love stories and situations, or every— I mean, there are certain shows where you're just like, nobody has this amount of bad luck in their life in one particular weekend. It's enough for a lifetime of terrible things that happen to some of these people. I want you to think about how is— while this is entertaining, I want you to ask yourself this question: what does it cost versus what is it worth? Watching this movie or this type of programming or series that kind of leaves me leaving like I'm almost like, oh, I'm so drained from the emotion I went through with that character, or now I see the world differently, or I feel like love will never work out, or whatever thoughts that might come to you as a result of watching these shows, how it either affirms or reaffirms, you know, it either affirms your worldview, confirms some fears or thoughts that you may have had, or you develop a new thought based on what you're seeing. Is this something that is actually going to move you towards or away from your goal? Now, I'm not trying to demonize television watching. Believe it or not, there's actually some really quality programming out there that doesn't have a lot of death and destruction, doesn't always have drama in it every step of the way with things blowing up and relationships blowing up every 5 seconds. Now, I don't want— like, again, I'm not demonizing you watching things. However, I'm going to encourage you, for the sake of the environment of your mind, to maybe not consume so much negativity with your eyes, even if you think, oh, it doesn't affect me, I can watch that stuff. Listen, the thing is, I'll let you in on a little secret: most of us are not strong enough to avoid the allure and the psycho— psychology that these people put into to keep you watching, to keep you watching. I mean, Netflix has to check on us to see if we're still there. That's how many episodes we watch in a row. Remember, we had to wait a week for a show to give us a resolution to the previous show. Now we don't have to wait but a few seconds. So how is that training us around focus, training us around realistic expectations, or even getting us to a place where we're able to deal with the delays more, you know, healthily? Be more mindful of what you are consuming with your eyes. There is enough drama and real-world situations, but I want to remind you, more people are safe than are in danger right now. More people are alive than passed away. More people are actually healthy than are ill. Yes, the numbers are great in some of those other scenarios, but they never outweigh the amount of people that are good that are healthy, that are alive, that are in love. It's not as many as the world, the TV and the programming will project to you. My advice is take a little bit of a hiatus from television. Tell a lie vision, right? Tell a lie vision. It basically gives you a vision of the world that may not be true and it had a deep impact on your mind. My advice: take a little bit of a hiatus, a vacation, and see what happens to your life. I'm not, you know, just maybe go on a 1-week fast, go on a 1-month fast, whatever you can stomach, and then see how much more productive you are, how much more optimistic you might be, Pay attention to the results so then maybe it encourages you not to go back into that thing. And notice when you watch television, when you are wanting to avoid something, or you flip on YouTube or certain things, what draws you to that is a compulsion to not have to maybe be present in this moment of discomfort. I know me, I'll turn something on when I'm feeling like, oh, I don't know if I can do that thing, but I can always watch this video that's going to entertain me to take my mind off the fact that I'm not doing the thing that I don't I don't know if I can do it well. Let me know if that's true for you too. Then we want to be more conscientious of what are we digesting with our eyes. What are we digesting with our eyes and our mouth so that we can again protect the environment that is this pristine mind that we want to accomplish our world's dreams with. And the last one is our ears. Now, obviously we have to hear the television. We have to hear the different words that we say. So those two still count because the ears are still involved. There's no one part of it, right? Your ears are taking in the television show as much as your eyes are. But I want to talk about one way that you don't necessarily take it in with your eyes, and that would be music. Music is beautiful. Oh my gosh, the lovely tones that can come out of a person's mouth. Of an instrument. I mean, there is so much beauty that comes through the, the medium of music and sounds, even the sounds of other people's conversations. But I'm going to talk about music first. Let's think about some of our favorite songs. Let's talk about Adele. I love Adele, great voice. She has not had success in the love space. Most of her songs are all about how, you know, never mind, I'll find someone like you. You don't forget me, you know. I, I, uh, you know, like, we didn't work out, it's okay, I'll go on. I thought you were gonna love me forever, but you didn't, but that's okay, you know, these type of things. Or all by myself, I don't want to live all by myself. I'm not going to subject you to my singing voice. I know you want me to, but you think about all of these songs that are about loss. I mean, country music, for example, it's like, you know, a lot of people talk about how it's like, you know, my dog died, my girl left me, and my car broke down. Now, not all country music's like that. We still got a lot with rap. We got a lot about, you know, the terrible injustice, and there's a lot of activism through music. So again, I'm not demonizing at all But as you are working to cleanse your mind of impure thoughts, as far as, you know, negativity, hopelessness, you know, uh, punishing yourself for things— when you add the weight to it when it's not ready, it's sort of like, you know, like trying to put something on something that can't— it's not load-bearing. Well, right now, unless you have the mind where it's in a place, you don't want to add a lot of this messaging to it. Because your mind is taking it in. Your subconscious just accepts. It cannot reject. So when you say, like, you know, like, yeah, you know, relationships never work out. Oh yeah, when he cheats, like Before He Cheats by Carrie Underwood, or, you know, even guys talking about hoes and girl gold diggers and all of these terms, then we get a worldview around it. We start to develop opinions. More money, more problems. People like to say that. Different things that we just say because You know, it's cool. It was in the song. I'm just saying the lyrics. I just like the tunes. I like the melody. I don't know what they're saying in the song, but my mind does, because my mind, my brain can take in lots of things. It filters things out, but it's still taking in. Garbage in, garbage out. So when it comes to your ears, you have to protect them. That's the funny thing about the monkey that's covering its eyes. And then the ears and the mouth. These are 3 ways we need to protect. We need to protect. So we look at it as it's telling them, you know, blind, deaf, and dumb, but it's like also like protect not just what, you know, is coming out, but what you're seeing, what you're hearing, and what you're saying. Okay, those different things. We need to be in a place where we are constantly monitoring what we are digesting. Other people's conversations? Are you around a bunch of people who love to complain? Not just what you're saying, but what you're digesting from other people. Are you allowing people to dump all their stuff onto you? Are you listening to the world's problems? But are you becoming like a little trash receptacle for everyone else's problems? It is difficult to have a positive, you know, worldview around a bunch of people that believe in complaining. So again, we've got to protect what goes in our ears. What kind of songs are we listening to? What kind of movies are we listening to? And what kind of people are we listening to? What is the content of what we're digesting in all these different mediums? If you become more cognizant of what you're digesting, then you set yourself up for success. It's simple. I want to have better thoughts, I want to have better feelings, and I want to have better actions. Well, the first thing starts with input. What are you taking in so that you can have a better inner environment? Protect your inner environment. Make it like nothing, you know, like Gandalf— ye shall not pass. You cannot come through here because I don't want to be ill. I do not want to make the inside of me ill because right now I'm thinking life is good, life is great, I'm amazing, and then the world comes and reminds me that there's disease and pestilence and robbery and, uh, you know, poverty and, uh, breakups and death and dying and all of these things. And I am not suggesting that you put your head in the ground. This is not about ostriching. This is about having compassion and empathy that those things exist, and you can still thrive and be happy even in the midst of the fact that there are things that are not the way that we wish they all were all the time. But there is no sadness everywhere all the time. There's also happiness and joy and thriving and success. And notice how often the news reports on that. Today, 1 story for every 10 bad stories. The interesting thing is, if we had a news channel that had only positivity, they believe we wouldn't tune in. We wouldn't want to hear it. But yet I find myself looking for positive stories. Let me know if you feel the same way. So what are you digesting? And if you don't want to have digestion problems, then just change the content of what you're putting in, what you're taking in, what you're allowing out. What are you— what's your exchange with the world, and how can you be more conscientious of that? That is going to be one of the biggest steps you can take to shifting from a negative to a positive mindset, or negative to positive worldview, or to at least seeing optimism and hope and, and, and good where other people see nothing but bad. You want to cleanse that, those eyes. Stop putting so much garbage in there. All right, it is easy to change with a little bit of conscientiousness. I know you can do this. So what I want you to do, here's your challenge: let's try one week, one week of becoming a gatekeeper with the mouth becoming conscientious of what we're allowing ourselves to read and to see and what we're allowing our ears to hear. And then come back and tell me, what was that like? What happened to you? I can tell you, from stopping watching negative TV, stopping reading the news and watching the news, and from listening to songs that are nothing about sadness, I find it easy to go to the positive, to see the good. Now, am I perfect? Do I never have negative thoughts? Absolutely not. That is not what I'm suggesting, but it's gotten a lot better, and I want the same for you. So that's been this episode of the Mental Advantage Podcast. What are you digesting? Please leave a comment below. Let me know what your thought was. Subscribe, share this with someone that you know needs to hear it, and let me know who else would you like to see on the show to bring another powerhouse episode to you. And any other topics you want me to cover. As a mental performance coach, I'm here for you to talk about the topics you want to so we can get better together. All right, I will see you next time.