When kids keep asking for things after you say no, replace "no" with "yes, when" to give them a clear boundary. Manage your own emotions by stepping away and breathing, then use gentle cues like asking "Am I going to change my mind?" while shaking your head to reinforce the decision.
Why do children go on and on and on and just not take no for an answer? And what on earth can we do about it? So first of all, persistence as a character trait is quite a positive thing. If you think about a persistent scientist, that's a great thing. Maybe our children are persistent about solving a puzzle or building something, so that's also quite good. It's just that when it involves buying an ice cream and we've said no, that it becomes really difficult to deal with. So I'm going to give you a few quick tips. Try to think about whether you can say 'yes, when' rather than an instant 'no.' So that might be, 'Yes, you can have an ice cream after dinner,' something like that. We also need to manage our own state, so maybe when they're going on and on, we need to actually just walk away, turn around, take a few breaths, have a drink of water. That That can help because if we are really caught into it, that's when we're likely to just blow our top and lose it with them, and that's never going to help. The other thing is actually asking your child the question in a gentle voice. 'When you go on and on like this and ask me over and over again, do you think that I'm going to change my mind? I think that you think that by asking me over and over that I will change my mind.' And then you shake your head and and you say, "Am I going to change my mind?" Give them the non-verbal signal, ask the question, "Am I going to change my mind?" and they will know that you won't. Now I know this isn't going to solve everything, but it's quite useful to have a few tips like that at your fingertips next time this happens. And send me an email and let me know if it helps.
