A three-year-old can't control her big emotions yet, so taking away toys as punishment teaches her that feelings are bad. Instead, help her name what she's feeling, model staying calm yourself, and practice talking kindly when she's not upset.
Client was advised by her health visitor to take toys away as a punishment. Her little girl is very reactive. She has big rages, she hits her sister, and she shouts a lot. Is she a bad child? No. She's 3 and she's struggling. We need to help our children to express their feelings in words, not action, but that takes a long time. The brain isn't fully developed yet. Punishing her gives her the message that strong emotions are bad and that she should be able to control them. Right now she isn't able to, but with time, the right tools, and the ability to model regulating our own emotions, children can learn. Taking toys away shames them and makes them resentful. When things are calm, this little girl could be helped to do something kind for her sister or to practice saying how she feels instead of hitting. This takes time and we have to be compassionate. Comment below and tell me what you think, and make sure you follow me.
