In this interview, Tess from My Parenting Solutions talks with Scarlett, the 18‑year‑old daughter of parenting expert Camilla McGill. Scarlett reflects on the relaxed, gentle‑discipline approach her mother used while raising her, describing it as non‑authoritative, supportive, and focused on calm communication. She explains how this upbringing fostered a close, open relationship where she feels comfortable discussing any problem without fear of punishment. Scarlett details how she now applies her mother’s techniques in her own work as a babysitter, nanny, and teaching assistant—using empathy, putting children’s feelings into words, and maintaining a kind, calm demeanor. She even texts her mother for real‑time advice. The conversation highlights the lasting impact of Camilla’s parenting style on Scarlett’s confidence, independence, and future parenting outlook, illustrating a generational cycle of positive discipline.
Chapters
I'm Tess and I work with Camilla at My Parenting Solutions.
And I'm Scarlett and I'm Camilla's daughter.
And I'm with Scarlett today to find out what her mum was really like growing up. And so now you're 18 and kind of, you know, about to fly. Adults. Yeah, an adult yourself. And you, I hear you've done quite a lot of babysitting.
Yeah.
What did you think about your mum's approach to parenting when you were growing up?
Um, well, it was always very kind of relaxed, um, and I think that's the approach I've put on to— I'm also a teaching assistant at school, so I use a lot of, um, my mum's parenting, um, like tips. Like, for example, I was babysitting the other day and like children— she was having a tantrum before bed, and like she always has always been very relaxed when it comes to that kind of things. And, um, instead of shouting, I use the approaches like being nice to her and kind of, I don't know. So I think that's something that I've learned from my mom, like, and I guess maybe kind of using the positive discipline. Yeah, yeah. Because I know that if I was, you know, like rude back to her or like she could tell that she was annoying me, then it would be worse. But instead I had to just be like really relaxed like she is. And it works. It works great.
And in terms of your mum's approach, what kind of impact do you think that's had on your relationship now?
Well, as I was saying, it's all very like— it's been very friendly, so I don't really see my mum as kind of an authoritative figure. Instead, more like a guidance, because I know like—
that's so nice—
if I was like— if I had acted up or I was in a bad mood and I was taking that out on her, she always knows it's not really got anything to do with her. And so she doesn't get angry at me for that. Instead, she kind of tries to get to the bottom of it. Um, so I know— so I don't really see her as— I'm not like— obviously not many people are scared of their parents, but like, I don't really see— like, I've always come to her with any problems instead of hiding it from her.
So you've kind of got that close connection?
Yeah, like, I know that she'll see the good— oh no, I don't know what I'm saying.
So you'd say you have a close connection with your mom?
Uh, yeah, I would say so, because I'm not, um, as I was saying, I'm not like worried to tell her anything because I'm not scared that she's going to punish me. Instead, like, I know I could talk to her about anything and like she's— I'm not going to be in trouble for that. We can just like talk it out. Um, what was the story I was gonna say?
I think it was just when I get in at school.
Yeah, when I like, if ever I got in trouble at school, I was never like, like if me and my friend got in trouble at school and like she was really worried about telling her mum because she was scared like, oh, like I'm not gonna be able to have a sleepover, I'm gonna get in trouble. I wasn't, I was never worried about that. Instead I was more like upset that she was gonna find out about that, be disappointed. Instead, like, I've really never been punished or like for anything like that.
Okay, so I've heard that when you've been babysitting or looking after other people's kids, their parents say things like, I hope my children turn out like you when they're older. Um, so obviously your mum's approach has kind of worked.
Well, I think that is more like a confidence thing. So parents, when I meet parents, if I'm, when I'm working, it's if I come across confident and kind of, um, like, what's the word? How to say, like, put my, like, how I, how I portray myself. And how I portray myself, um, is like what they would want for their children. I think from that my mum's influence on that kind of side is, um, always being very supporting, um, and gentle parent. Um, and I think that's from her being supportive of me and like the gentle parenting kind of making me my own person and like making my own decisions, um, and being a bit more independent. I feel like that's something different I can tell.
Okay.
Um, growing up, I think I've been more independent.
And I guess that kind of shows that the approach has a lifelong effect. So it's not just the using the approach when you were kind of like a toddler. Yeah, it's like seen you right through. Yeah.
And it's funny, yeah, it's funny, like now I'm using what my mum used on me on children I'm working with. Amazing.
And it really works. What kind of examples? Can you remember?
So I've been like babysitting and nannying and also working in school, and, um, if there's a child struggling to kind of get out their words or like, you know, having a tantrum or half tantrum, whatever you call it, um, I can use what my mom's taught me, which is to like— what I do is I like try and put into their feelings, put words into their feelings. No, put their feelings into words, um, and to help them get that out. And also, instead of like showing them that I'm frustrated, being really, really nice, like killing them with kindness until they get out of this funk. Um, and it's funny, like, whether if I've ever in that situation, I'm like texting my mom on the side like, what do I do now?
So you still text her for the advice as well? Good to know.
Yeah, um, and what I've seen so far is it works. And without making anything a bigger deal, instead of kind of getting to the bottom of their problems and diffusing the situation instead, like, because if I— I know that if I started shouting back at them, it would just make everything so much worse.
I guess it's amazing to see or to foresee that kind of domino effect as well. So yeah, what your mum has done for you, you're gonna then have that same approach for your kids. Yeah, and the cycle kind of continues.
Yeah, it's quite— it feels quite powerful.
Yeah, yeah, amazing. Wow. So hearing everything that you said today as a mum to two young boys, um, kind of gives me a lot of hope for the future and putting these techniques into place now and how they can like carry on through, how they're going to turn out. It's really reassuring and exciting as well, actually. Yeah, thanks for talking to me about it.
