A mother catches her daughter Anna lying about breaking a toy plane. Instead of accusations, try reflecting her feelings, suggesting why she might have done it, and inviting her to confess. Kids lie when cornered. Gentle inquiry and validation work better than threats.
My client didn't know how to handle it when her daughter lied about breaking her brother's plane. She tried, 'I know you broke his plane, that's so naughty!' Anna screamed, 'It wasn't me, I didn't do it, he did!' I showed her how to go back and address it in a different way. 'I think you broke Joe's plane. Maybe you were feeling angry at him because he wouldn't let you play with it. Is that what happened?' Anna burst into tears and she said she wished she hadn't done it. They then talked about ways to make amends. Kids lie when they feel backed into a corner, and so often we feel the need to jump to threats or punishments to make them admit their mistakes. I teach a different approach. If you want to know more, drop 'yes' below and also make sure you follow me.
