A parent can say no to ice cream before dinner while still acknowledging the child actually wants it. When kids' desires get dismissed as ridiculous, they learn their feelings don't matter, making boundaries harder to respect later.
You are not giving your child permission to have ice cream before dinner. You are giving your child permission to have her desires. Yeah. And you're understanding that a child's desires don't ever have to be put down. Yes. But if your desires when you were a child were never acknowledged, if you were told What do you think, money grows on trees or something? If you are told, don't be ridiculous, then that's what's gonna come out.
