Camilla McGill explains why kids repeat the same bedtime complaint every night. Authority and sarcasm trigger power struggles. Instead, ask an empathetic question, pause to let them feel heard, then offer physical comfort like a back rub.
'It's not fair! Why do I have to go to bed now?' If you struggle with this kind of thing, keep watching. Now, we could easily respond with, 'For goodness' sake, what's wrong with you? You know it's bedtime now!' But what happens when we speak like this? It turns into a power struggle. 'I'm not going to bed.' 'Yes, you are.' 'No, I'm not.' If you want to break free from this way of communicating, try a gentle question. 'Ah, it feels so unfair that it's bedtime right now and it's light outside, so that feels really strange too.' Then wait and connect. 'Hmm, I know you like a back rub to help you relax. Do you think that that might help?' If you like this approach, remember to use the bookmark so that you can refer to it later.
