When your kid hits someone at school and won't apologize, yelling and threats backfire. Instead, acknowledge their tough day, remind them of the rule, express confidence they can do better, and plan to talk about alternatives at home.
We've gone to pick our child up from school and the teacher says, 'He's had a bad day. He hit another child and then refused to say sorry.' What do we do? We typically feel the need to address this in front of the teacher with something like, 'That's awful, Harry. I can't believe you did that. I'm not at all happy. Right, no iPad for you.' Now, if you're a parent who knows really that telling a child off like this causes them to feel shame and deny they've done anything wrong, then listen on. This response is aimed at helping, not shaming. Hmm, sounds like you had a really hard time today, and although you know we don't hit, you weren't able to use your self-control. We'll talk about this at home, and we're going to figure out ways to help you use your words instead of hitting. If you'd like to learn more about this kind of approach to parenting, just drop a yes below and give me a like if you liked it.
