The Mindset Trap That Keeps Therapists From Building Beyond Clinical Work

Hello everyone, welcome back to the Thriving Therapreneur podcast. I am so excited. I have a client with us today. I don't do guest episodes a ton, but I always say when I do them, gosh, are they worth listening to. Typically it is a client that I'm bringing on. Sydney is a very special client. We haven't been working together for that long, but you have really impressed me thus far, just skyrocket it and what you're doing. I mean, you really just understand the assignment and you, and you do it. There's, there's no pushback. You've worked through your mindset beliefs, but you're cruising. Like, you just, you're what I call a sprinter. You take action. You don't let any of the life things get in your way. Like, you're literally in the middle of a huge move right now while simultaneously launching. It's just incredible to watch you move and be in action and, and be of service. So we're gonna talk about what this transition was like for Sydney to go from therapist to coach, what she was doing before she came into the coach intensive, what this life looks like for her now. And she's gonna have an opportunity to also share the incredible work that she's doing with women, which is very, very close to her own heart. So Sydney, welcome to the show and thank you. Let's just start there. Let's talk about the work that you're doing. And could you just give yourself a proper introduction of who you are and the work that you're doing in this world?

Sure. Well, hello everyone. My name is Sydney McLean and I am a licensed therapist, um, who has also jumped into the realm of being a coach. And I'm a military spouse and a mom and wear a lot of hats. Uh, and as Carly shared, I do decided to join the, um, counseling intensive program 2 weeks before finding out that we were moving from Texas to West Virginia. So it has felt a lot like, uh, water from a fire hydrant, uh, and at the same time it's also been great. Um, yes, so I've been a therapist for, uh, about 8 years now, and I have loved what I've gotten to do, but I felt, you know, working in different aspects, there was always some form of limitation there. And so I knew in my heart of hearts that I kind of wanted to step into coaching as well. And, you know, I kind of dipped my toe in and I was, you know, one of those, uh, silent followers of, of Carly Hill for a long time, uh, and decided to dive in because I wanted to get the chance to not only like do my work but also make it more authentically me. And even though therapy is still very close to my heart, coaching has just opened the door to a lot more facets. Um, and so in doing that, I'm working with women, specifically, uh, those women that grew up in purity culture and who are navigating their sexuality now, um, as adults, whether they're still far part of a faith-based, or they have stepped away fully, just kind of navigating that, um, helping them return to themselves and connect with themselves either for the first time or coming back to who they are. And so it's been such a beautiful thing. And so thank you, Carly, for the opportunity and like to be in this. And I can't say it enough, and, and I've told you many times, like being a part of this coaching program has given me so many pieces of the puzzle to help me be prepared to sprint and step forward, uh, in this. And so thank you for the part you've had in my story to help me along the way.

Yeah, your story is just getting started, girlfriend. It is, it's just getting started, and it's beautiful to watch it thus far, but I don't know if you know what's in store for you and what's coming and what's available to you. I I try to explain this to you and all of our clients, like, the world is really your oyster. It sounds so cliché and, you know, just general kind of cheesy statement, but it's so true in the coaching industry. Sky is the absolute limit, and you're just starting, like, your toe in the water and what you're implementing, and you're already getting incredible feedback. You know, have a client, maybe a more? I don't know if you have more clients or you just have that one client.

I have one client currently. I have built a Facebook community that has been phenomenal. So a Facebook group that you really— you said it, that in February, that the world is your oyster. And there was a part of me that believed that for everybody else in the room but myself, right? And then it was like, ooh, this is enticing and it sounds good. And then when I started putting myself out there really seeing a lot of these amazing things, like the connections that I've made, um, you know, the, the things that I've walked through. What somebody else might see as like a failure— that didn't work— it was like, no, that was just— that one wasn't for me, that's not for me. But there's all of this over here that is, um, putting yourself in that mindset and then putting yourself in a space to be open it, it just blows your mind. You do have to do the work, but being available is such a huge step that you're gonna be like, you open your hand and all this stuff comes to it. It's, it's amazing. Yeah.

You just started putting yourself out there. To be clear for everybody listening, we've only been working together 3 months. Yeah, 3 months. And you already have your first paying client. And when you came in, you had no LLC filed. Yeah. No niche, uh, no social media presence. No, no, nothing. Right. And so this is literally ground up and already your first paying client, which you've actually had for quite some time. I think you got in like week 8 of the program.

Oh no, like week 5.

Oh, week 5.

Yeah.

I started week 5 of the program and it was like, whoa, okay.

But you know, it was really like. Again, you, you also said it too, like people are looking for what we have. So what our niche is, there are people out there who are needing it and we often limit ourselves because we think, well, this person's gonna do it and this person's gonna do it. You also say this too. I borrow a lot of, of, of Carly's phrases, like you can only do what you do, how you do it. And so by putting yourself out there there are people that are meant to cross your path. Um, and it's not being like salesy in the sense of like you have something that is a resource for them. So for example, if they were thirsty and you had this water, you would not withhold it from them. It is something that is, is going to help them overall. And so I'm not an expert by any means, but, but having a niche that is so congruent with who I am, combined with my love for working with people and combined with like all of the strategies and all of the resources you have is, is really building that foundation to be a success. And I think that's the other part too, is there is so much to get out of the program. And again, I'm not just saying that because I'm sitting here on your podcast. Like, I almost have conversations daily with people, like, when they ask, how's it going for me? And I'm like, it is, it's going great. Um, I've had the highs and I've had the lows and I've had the You've heard my Slack, you know, on my Slack channel where I've been like, oh, I'm so overwhelmed. And oh, but today I'm on cloud nine because this is happening. But because of all of these things in place, it is just positioning myself and so many others who are in the program to be that success. And success isn't a linear journey. And so it's also been this part of the process that like some of it's going to feel like a sprint and some of it's it's gonna feel like a marathon.

Yeah.

And knowing that my timeline isn't someone else's timeline too. And so if, if I have a pause in mine, my growth isn't ending. If theirs is taking off, it just means we're, we're at different paths, we're at different timelines. And so the comparison is where can I learn to grow? Not what am I lacking that they have and I don't, you know? Yeah.

And comparison to yourself. Yes. Where were you 3 months ago with no LLC, no niche, no coaching business? Now you have a coaching client, like you're on your own timeline and wow, look how far I've come in this short period of time. What else can I do? Versus comparing yourself to someone else. I mean, incredible takeaways. It is such a mindset. Journey and learning curve and hurdle. And business development is what everybody comes to me for, right? I'm a business coach.

Yeah.

And that is what I teach, but it is a self-development journey more than most people realize. Mm-hmm. Right? Uh, and that self-development journey is really, and the mindset is really what's gonna catapult you forward in your business. 80% of our business is mindset. So I think that, or maybe I don't think, I know that that is why you got your first client within 5 weeks. You're executing everything. You are what I call a sprinter because you're doing the work not only on the business and the strategy, but on yourself and your mindset. And that's what's keeping you afloat and will keep you afloat as you go through this process and continue to uplevel over and over and over and over and over again. Okay, so Sydney, let's go back to prior to investing in the Coach Intensive, starting your coaching journey. You mentioned limitations. You've been a therapist for 8 years, you've had some limitations, you love the work that you do. I could talk about the limitations that I experienced, but I'd love to hear from you. What did you feel like those limitations were? Because everybody who's listening probably is feeling the same way. Was it income? Was it time freedom and having more white space on your calendar? Did you want to be more present with your family or travel, or what was it for you? Were you burnt out?

I would say a little bit of everything. Yeah, a little bit of everything. But if we rewind, um, to like working, you know, initially I started in agency work, which is pretty common. You're fresh out of school. You know, you're putting in a lot of hours, which, hey, you're, you're closer to getting your full licensure. And, and maybe this was an unrealistic expectation, but I thought, okay, I'm, I'm an associate right now, then I become fully licensed, you know, and then I achieve this freedom, if you will, as far as like my timeline, um, making the income that I want to, um, understanding the business side of it, which, mind you, we don't get any classes on in graduate school. So, you know, you get these, this set of clinical skills that you get to develop. And you're going off of this experience of these people that have been before you. And, and then, you know, you find out, oh, and everything is, is what it's cracked up to be. So finding that, like, when I fast forwarded to being in my own practice, yes, I'm making more money, but my schedule is so packed. I'm leaving work. I'm, I'm a mom. My son is 4 and picking him up and he's ready to have all of my attention. And I'm like, I've gotta take care of this bundle laundry and I've gotta do this. And so, you know, I'm frazzled, I'm not who I want to be and I'm loving what I'm doing in clinical care, but I'm like, what is it costing me on the personal side? So, you know, to be a little dramatic, I remember a year, a little bit over a year ago, sitting in my office and like looking out the window on a rainy day, like, what am I doing? What, you know, have I made the wrong decision? Did I do the wrong thing? And just feeling that restlessness of like, I know there's a way to crack this code and do more. There's got to be, you know, where I'm not seeing 7, 8 clients a day and having nothing left to give. Like, there's gotta be this balance of it. And so that is, that is where I was. Um, and then ironically, when when I saw your post for that, that training that you did in February, I had had a kind of a low week. So then there's the other side of it, the ebb and flow of when it's a little bit lower. So the inconsistencies of the income, uh, when it was great, it was great and I was burned out. And then it was, when it wasn't, I'm, I'm burned out in another way cuz I'm frazzled. So to like jump in and, and hear that training, um, was like, oh, so there's another way, you know? And it was like that question mark that I had, that I knew that there was another way, but I didn't know exactly what that was or how to get there. And so I'm also— sidebar— a military spouse. So making moves and making transitions, the limitation of the process— I'm in the process right now of trying to get registered in another state, and there's hoops you have to jump, jump through, finances you have to put into that, you know? And then the other thing, the drop in my income when we do transition, because that's usually 4 to 6 weeks of transition time, and then you finding childcare and all of those things. So long story long, knowing all of that, it was like, I didn't do all this work to still do all this work.

I didn't come this far just to get this far. Yeah.

Was the vibe. Yeah.

Yeah. Everybody's in the same boat who's listening to this in one way, shape, or form. And what you said, whether it was Being in, you know, agency work and thinking the grass was greener on the other side, then getting to the other side and being like, what? This grass is still brown. And what else is available for me? But you know, I'm curious because you said that you actually were like a silent follower lurker for a few years, but you had that moment where you were looking out the window and you're like, you know what? Something's gotta change. It was almost like a rock bottom moment, if you will. I had one too, and I was in my car and I was crying. And I was writing a poem and I was like, something has to change. Like we, we all get to that point where we're thinking about throwing the towel in. We love being a therapist, but it's just sometimes it's not sustainable, right? What made you actually take the leap? And did you know all along, you just didn't know the nitty-gritty of how to, how to implement? Or what was this transition like for you where you kind of hit your rock bottom? You kind of knew what to do cuz you had been silent lurking, following me for quite some time, but wasn't ready to take the leap yet. Like walk us through that process because a lot of people listening are also in this limbo phase where they have been thinking about it for years. They just haven't made the moves.

Yeah. Yeah. We often see the financial strain of investment. Is something that could be a big thing. And I'm sure you hear that often, right? With people across the board. But for me, it, it, it's interesting. Again, timing, right? A little bit over a year ago, you know, I'm feeling burned out. I'm in kind of a group practice. I transition to my own practice and love it, love the opportunity. But then again, like you were saying, I'm like, okay, but wait, where are the flowers? Where does the green start springing up? And I'm feeling that. And it's like, oh my goodness. And, and so following you and, and hearing the tidbits and knowing, okay, coaching is where I want to expand and I can invest in this certification, but you know what the certification does? It gives me more of the skills that I already have. Right? So what that training did for me is it, it answered all the questions that were really foggy in my brain, if that makes sense. That I'm coming up the business side, right? How to legally protect your license and also do this. It doesn't have to be an either or. Um, and so it was also kind of a point where, if I can be really transparent, and here we go, I'm going to just tell you that there's been this personal growth journey of myself of like knowing I wanted to do it, but not believing that I had what it took to do it and that what I wanted couldn't be for me because I didn't feel good enough. So there's that aspect too. And so when I started saying to myself, self says who? When I had that question, that's going to be for everybody else, but not for you. Says who? Who said you couldn't have it, right? So the weekend before I even saw your ad for the training, I felt this major physical shift in my mind and my heart and my body. Um, that was like, hey, you need to be thankful for your mentor. And I'm like, what do you mean? I had been in the, the, the mentorship groups and the leadership groups and the, uh, self-help stuff for women, which has been amazing and has very much played a key in that. But I'm like, what do you mean? And so then I come in to work on a Monday morning, that Monday morning that your training started, and I was feeling that kind of a pity party for myself. Um, and it was a very low, like I'm looking at my schedule and so I see the training and I'm like, well, why not?

Right? Why not try it?

And if I'm, I'm still where I'm at, if I try it and it's not great, but from the very first part of it. You spoke to where I was. You knew. You've been a therapist, you know. And then you said, hey, I've got this piece over here that I have not only know, but I've poured my heart and soul. Here's where my passion is. So why don't you couple that with where your passion is, and that is going to help you grow. And then I wish I could say it was like, ah, so again, like you said, it has been this journey of like, yep, that's the missing pieces. So I remember talking to my husband and being like, I know that I know that I know that this is for me and that while this is an investment financially, long— in the long run for my mental and emotional state of being and, and my purpose in life, it is going to cost me more by waiting. Yeah. And so diving in and doing that, like it is a steady— it feels like a sprint and it feels like a marathon, right? But it's this steady journey of like you're building a foundation, right? We're not building a tent, we're building a house. And that is a process. And so you have, you are like the Home Depot of resources and tools, and they're right there. You have a question, there's an answer. There's somebody for that. There's that. And it's like, we say, here's, here is the blueprint, if you will. And you're like, okay, great. I have a resource for that. I've got this for that. And so that has been just so helpful. So fulfilling and relieving for me as somebody who's, who's wanting to step into that space, um, and, and do the best that I can do, right? Mm-hmm.

With the resources you have and you, and you're doing it. What I'm, well, first off, that is hilarious. I'm the Home Depot. I have not heard that one before. I'm gonna have to, to take that one and repeat it, but it is true. And I hear that all the time. Like Carly, you have a guy for everything. Like, yeah, you need this done, you got a guy for it. You have this question, and you know exactly where to point me. So that is hilarious. Going back to this transition for you and what this was like in, you know, inside your mind and, and your heart and the mental capacity and, and mindset journey that this took. What I was hearing from you, true therapist in me, was it was really a lack of belief that this was even possible for you, right?

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

And it was possible for other people, but it wasn't possible for you. And it wasn't until you actually owned that it was possible for you and you changed at that identity level, like, you know what, wait a minute, this is possible for me. And if I somewhere decided along the way that this wasn't possible for me, I can undecide that. Like, when did I decide that? Says who? When did I decide that? So you know what, I'm just gonna scratch that decision I'm gonna undecide it, and I'm going to decide something new, that this is possible for me. And that's when you had the identity shift and the confidence and told your husband, this is happening, this is a non-negotiable, here I go. And then of course I came in with the strategy pieces to help you move the needle forward. But more than anything, what kick-started it for you was the identity shift. And that makes sense because we know as therapists everything is the be, do, have model. We have to be the person and change at the identity level to do the action steps in order to have the successful, thriving business that we want. But that was your lived experience and what you walked through. So now you're on the other side, not completely, but you're in the thick of it rather.

Yeah. Yeah.

Of still going through these transitions as you uplevel, implementing, getting clients, putting yourself out there. Hello Visibility wounds that we all have, that you've gone through, right? So what has been the most helpful for you, or how do you feel like this will be life-changing? Because you talk about how this is your soul's purpose and you knew and you had to have this conversation with your, with your husband. I think if I were to answer this for you, and then I'll let you answer, this work is so close to your heart because this is your own story. It's almost like you had to go through the pain that you went through in order to walk others through it. Like, there's, there's purpose in the pain that you went through, and the purpose is tied to your soul's mission to guide other women through this now, which is exactly what you're doing. And you're getting feedback from people just saying thank you for speaking up, you know, thank you for being you, essentially, because this is such a needed thing. Like, you're filling a huge void in the market a huge gap. So I'll let you speak to it. Like, what's been the most helpful for you as you make this transition and how is this gonna be life-changing or is it already?

So that's multifaceted as well. And I think the other thing that another mindset shift was, I have to be perfect before I do this. I've recently been diagnosed with ADHD formally. I've, I've known that I've had it for some time, Um, and so there's this part of me that sometimes that impulsivity and I just put myself out there, you know, and then go live and I throw my phone across the room like, whoa, okay, you did that. You know, but I think acknowledging that people want real, they want authenticity. And like you said, because of my story, it's not, um, highlighting it in a sense of like glorifying what I went through. But it's normalizing the conversation around it that other people that went through things and that have been hurt, we can talk about it and normalizing it being in a space so that other women know that they're not alone. And so I think another shift was nobody's asking me to be an expert. Like, you know, you're asking me questions about my personal life and, and I think like, because it is a part of my story and it, it is so close, integrating that into the knowledge and skills that I have has been so important. And I remember the first time I, uh, went live and then somebody said, you are so brave. And I'm like, what? If they only knew my laptop had been propped up on rolls of toilet paper, you know, just so it was the, the height that I felt that was necessary. You know, and then I just started talking and I didn't have a script and I just started sharing from my heart. And I think sometimes too, there is a suffering in silence and there's a shame that I am the only one. And so if I don't talk about it, you know, nobody else must be feeling this way because nobody else is talking about it either. So for somebody to say, hey, wait, wait, wait, yeah, this happened to me. And that it's like, oh, well me too. Oh, me too. And so there's this like normalcy of like our humanity showing up showing up and to be able to give grace and non-judgment in a space that is so delicate, uh, and raw. It's really a beautiful thing. And, and ironically, Carly Hill, it has also been another step in my healing journey because it's challenged me to authentically bring that out, um, and the visibility part of being seen, releasing myself from like if somebody has negative feedback or somebody has kickback it isn't their experience and it isn't their story to tell. It's my story and my experience, and that's the same for all of us. And so giving space to that, um, and, and releasing what doesn't belong to me and embracing what does is, is, is the, the best, best thing that I could do. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. It's not ironic. It's totally part of it. Yeah. That putting yourself out there is part of this healing journey, right? There's always going to be keyboard warriors and the naysayers and the people who disagree with you, especially the bigger your business gets, right? But you would be doing your people a disservice if you didn't share your story. And so it's self-healing to share your own story, but you're getting the validation from other people. You're so brave. Me too. Me too. Me too. Like I said, you're filling a huge a huge void, and the market needs you. Where can people find you who are interested in this healing? Or is there anything else you want to share to your ideal clients that could be listening to this very podcast? Or perhaps a therapist who's listening to this who has clients who went through this experience who possibly don't know how to deal with it, and they could refer clients to you? What do you see as your perfect ideal client and where can they find you?

Sure. So I am on Instagram, I'm on Facebook. So Sydney McLean Coaching, that is my handle. And if someone, a, a woman is out there, she can be single or married and she grew up in purity culture and she's at a place where she's dealing with a lot of shame or she's dealing with curiosity and doesn't know how to express or know how to have healthy boundaries or have a healthy way of understanding exploration and releasing herself from these teachings that were placed on us at a very young age, kind of trying to let go of that and develop true autonomy within self and also find a space and like-minded women who are navigating the same thing so that they're not alone, mixed with some clinical knowledge and skills to have the tools to work through that. And I mean, I'm living my healing journey, and because I have had healing— it's, it's not a destination, it's a journey— I know how powerful and freeing that is. And so to have others who are longing for that, any therapist out there that has a client coming to you that is navigating that from purity culture and how they were raised and just trying to develop a true autonomy within themselves, come find me and we can connect and talk. And I would be grateful to be a resource for any of them.

Yeah, I'm gonna include all of that in the show notes. As well, Sydney. So for anybody who's listening, just check out the show notes. Sydney's amazing at what she's doing. It's a lived experience for her, so very close to her heart if you can't tell in how passionate she is about speaking about this. Before I let you go, one last question I wanna ask you is what piece of advice would you give to anybody who's listening? I always ask this question and I know it's a loaded question, like one piece of advice, it could be maybe two. They're fearful, they want to add coaching, they maybe already added coaching but they haven't figured out all the floating pieces, they're stuck not yet making their next move even though they want to. Now making the moves, being on the other side, having those same exact thoughts, the lack of belief, having to go through the identity shift, being burnt out as a therapist being scared about the financial investment, peer-to-peer, what would you say to them?

I would say that it's all very valid, right? If I put on my therapy hat and I'm like, wow, yeah, that's a lot if we're looking at it in the big picture, right? And we feel a lot of pressure and we feel a lot of different things, but we're also frustrated and ready to step into that next thing. I would say break it down. Into the right next step, right? Let's look long-term where you'd like to be, but what about that right next step to get me there? I'm not trying to fast-track this. Now it is a coaching intensive and what I've— it's, it's been a love-hate relationship because it has challenged me, but because I leaned into it. So a lot of things, it is a loaded question, but like it's an intensive with a, a purpose. And it's keeping your momentum going. So being lean, leaning into the friction of, of the journey and that asking yourself the question, like if they have the belief, it's not for me, or, huh, how am I gonna make this work? Well, says, says who? And who says it can't work, right? And then thinking about like long-term, the emotional and mental cost like I'm telling you, this has just eased up a piece of my mind for where, like I was telling my husband, like, yes, this roadblock has happened and we're getting ready to make a cross-country move, but I have such a peace about this foundation that I've built that formerly getting ready to move, I would be like, oh great, now I'm gonna start all over. And I'm like, oh no, we're picking up and moving, but this foundation that I built, this gets to go with me. Um, and so, oh, and you're not alone. Like there are you, there are so many areas that, you know, the, the mindset call, um, the copywriting call, like technology, there's somebody for all of that. And so again, long story long, lean into the friction, know that you are absolutely worth more and that this investment is truly that. Planting a seed, right? I won't hold on to the seed, but I'm gonna put that in the ground and see what comes up and grows.

Mm-hmm. Mic drop. I have nothing else to add. Well summarized. Um, you're incredible, Sydney. Thank you for being on the show. Thank you for having me. Everyone reach out to, uh, Sydney or follow along if you have a client to send to her. Or if you yourself are going through this process of healing from purity culture itself. So your dream to work with Sydney, I can't wait to record one of these again soon and talk about all of your success, and we'll just continue keeping everybody updated on what's to come for you. Thank you.

Of course. Of course.

Thank you.

Have a good one.