CB LIVE! Courage to Leap and Lead with Edina Clagett, Episode 111 part 1

Hello everybody, this is CB Bowman with our show Courage to Leap and Lead. And today I have a special guest. First of all, how are you guys doing? Send your notes, you know, communicate a little bit with me, you know, what's going on in your life. Okay, so now we're going to talk I'm sure that you've seen photographs of people, and you go, what was that about? Right? This woman I found online, and what I loved about her work is that she works with women, particularly of a particular age, of a particular And she makes them look glorious. And I said, this is my gal. And so I just want to show you— I think I can do this— how she transformed me into this remarkable person. So I am going to try to see if I can show that part of the film. Hold on. Let's take a look. Look at that. Is that not amazing? But wait, it gets even better. Look at that. That is actually me. And I want to tell you, I was so ecstatic.

I just—

and I'm the type of person that I do not like to be photographed, but I had to show you these remarkable things to lets you know the brilliance of her work. So now let's just talk to her. She has this whole philosophy about photography that I thought was so inspirational that I wanted to bring her to you today. So without further ado, let's meet Adina. Did I pronounce your name right?

Yes, that's perfect. Adina. Yeah. Adina.

Okay, great. You would think after we worked together I'd pronounce it right, but you all know I'm dyslexic, and so I get things screwed up, but it's okay.

And I think most the time I was saying your name, I was guiding you in every pose and everything.

Yeah.

All you had to do is listen that time. So the roles reversed here.

So please tell me, you know, there's a sign in back of it that says love yourself.

Mm-hmm.

And it's really the fundamentals behind her photography. And so, Atina, please tell us about your work. First of all, tell us how you got started, a little bit about you as a child.

Yeah. So my name— and I am from Hungary, Eastern Europe. So I grew up there. I spent the first 20 years of my life there. I had a pretty interesting childhood with communism. And really, like, you know, in my 16th, 15th year, my family— my brother actually opened up a youth hostel. So I had my first introduction to the West. I had a lot of backpackers, travelers coming and staying at our homey family business. So that's where I learned English the first time. And that's where actually I had my first taste into traveling and, and meeting people with different cultures. I actually met my American husband, um, there too. So that's— he is the reason why I actually ended up moving to the United States at age 19, 20. Um, so that's where it all started. But before then, from my 18th through the 25 years old, me and my husband, and before my husband, I have traveled the world. And by that meaning, I put on a backpack, um, because coming from Eastern Europe, you know, I didn't have a lot of money. So my budget was always like $10 a day and really started traveling. My first trip to Africa, to 5, 6 different countries, and just hitchhiked through. And everywhere in Southeast Asia, South America, I've traveled through 50 countries, and a lot of them by myself. Um, and really that's where my passion for photography started. I started to take pictures and, and visiting. My main interest was really the harder the travel to get to places, the more unique, um, the experience was. So my goal was really kind of to keep off the beaten track because I figured the more effort it takes for me to get to, the more genuine, the more remote places I get to travel and the most special people and cultures and tribes I get to meet. So, and my passion for traveling and photographing these people that probably most times they didn't never, never even seen a camera. So yeah, it was really interesting. I remember, and this was back in the film age, you know, I had my little film canisters like, like I guarded them with my life, um, throughout my travels a lot of times months. So I'd like 30 rolls in a pouch, and I just like— I was always, always with me. And I remember when coming home and developing those films, my mom, you know, so excited, and my family and cousin started showing them all the pictures. And my mom was like, Edina, these are so fantastic and everything, but why are— why aren't you— where are you in all these pictures? Because they were all people, portraits of people, of little children with flies around their mouth, or like indigenous beautiful raw people. This is how they lived, you know, and this is what I wanted to capture, you know, the rawness. And really, that was, looking back now, that was my big— that's how my passion for portraiture in general and photography started. And then with my husband, my husband was a chef, so we— my life got kind of derailed. We lived overseas and we ran restaurants, and I got into the hospitality industry in the States. But then, then I got pregnant with twins. So that was, um, that was a big aha moment. I already had a little boy, and then when I learned that I got pregnant with twins, I was like, oh my God. I do not want to go back to a corporate job and have them be raised by, you know, a daycare or something, because all my salary would just go straight out taking care of paying for 2 children's daycare. So that's when I realized, you know what, I'm gonna pick up my camera once again and just see where it takes me, see if I can figure out, you know, learn, learn the craft more in studio photography and start shooting different genres. Um, in general.

Okay, so I'm going to go back a little bit. You were traveling around the world by yourself or with your husband in these very remote places.

Yes.

Did you ever have concern over your life?

Yes, yes, I had a, a, a, a couple, um, hairy, um, situations. So one of my dreams was to travel to Papua New Guinea. So my brother had— my brother who opened up this youth hostel, he was— he's 9 years older than I am. So when I was 16, just getting, you know, working at the hostel, he was 25. And this was his— he's traveled the world. So one year he went to Papua New Guinea, and then I remember when he came back and he brought back those pictures. And he's traveled the world everywhere, so he's been everywhere. He was like, Edina, if you still want to visit a world, a place in the world where, you know, it is still way back then, like the truest form of authenticity, the tribal living, there's no sign of Western civilization, it's like you have to go visit this place within the next 5, 6 years because the little children and everything in these villages, they're already starting to wear the baseball caps. They're already starting to wear some dirty t-shirts that are coming from the West. So they're starting to lose their, their true core of where they're from. So I kept it in my mind and always in the back of my mind. So I knew my husband would never want to travel there because A, he's a foodie, he's a chef, and every time we traveled, he was always more interested in a little bit more— and I'm not saying luxury because he did travel with me for a long time— but he wanted to get the AC in the, in the room, you know, he wanted to go out, dine. And for me, I wanted to sit on a truck or on a bus for 4 days, on a slow boat, getting far away from any touristy place. And for me, so we were kind of on a different— so I knew he would never ever come with me to Papua New Guinea. That's something that was within me. So I remember we were already married in the States and I still had a car back home in Hungary, and I need to go back home and sell this car since I'm already moving. So I went back home, I sold the car, and from the money I got, I purchased the ticket to Papua New Guinea, and I just called him. He's like, honey, I know, I know you're gonna be mad, but I need to do this for myself. So needless to say, I went. He was not happy, and I spent 3 weeks in— so long story short, I thought it's gonna be a lot more touristy than it was, but then there was some kind of internal turmoil with Papua New Guinea and Irian Jaya coming, trying to separate from gaining their independence. Um, anyway, so long story short, there was no tourists whatsoever. There's nobody there. So I arrived in the middle of— I, and I have pictures I can send you. I took, I, uh, put it, got on an airplane that has, was duct taped together. It was kind of like a cargo plane. I was sitting on rice bags Yeah, it was real— it was really crazy, alone as a girl. And I, I landed in the middle of an island, and I looked around, and my hope was to meet some other tourists so we can rent a guide together, and then we can kind of get into the mountains and visit tribes. But there's nobody around. Nobody. There's no tourists. Everybody was looking at me like, this is not a good time for you. to come. And I was like, well, what can I do? So I started looking for a local guide, and I told him— this was arranging a 2-week trip into trekking into the mountains, visiting villages. He's the one, you know, that spoke their language. Um, I just had my little camera, a little backpack, and I told— I gave him, here's half of the money now, and then the other half. And back then there was no credit card there. I mean, I was carrying all the cash with me, you know, and I was like, if I get back over here at this date, I'll give you the other half. So I'm like—

How'd you expect him to give you the other half?

Yeah, it was all with me. So needless to say, but besides all the facts, you know, I had the most incredible 2 weeks of my life. He took me in to visiting, like every day we would hike to the next village, next village, next village. And I met the most incredible people, the most genuine, some local. And they were nothing. Like, I, I, I'll— I have pictures. Like, they were all wearing— they were naked. What they're wearing, like, um, it's called a penis guard, like just a koteka. Like, I've never seen so many naked people in my whole life, you know. So, and me as a girl, and a lot of these villages, they probably A lot of times they've never even seen a white person, not to mention me as a white girl coming up. I mean, it was incredible. So the 2 weeks went by really smooth.

So did the children want to come up and touch you to see that you were real?

Oh my God, every time. And we would stay— I would stay in a little hut, you know, so that's where they would cook for me. We would, you know, I'd play with the children, they would put on my clothes. I have a picture of a Poulos, my, my guy, he turned back around. He was carrying a couple oranges, and he was so mesmerized by me, he turned around and followed, came with us for 2 more days in a totally opposite direction. He would put on my glasses. They would have, they would have the ferns, you know, the hole in between, and they would have tusks in the bit in between, like through the nose, and he would put like, because he He loved the attention. I was taking pictures, you know, a lot of— and I always asked their permission. And he was just mesmerized. I like— it was amazing. So with— so just to cut to the short, I had the most incredible time. Everybody was super friendly. I never felt in danger, not once. It was incredible. Now, when we got back into this village Um, you know, I was— I had like 3 more days before my flight out of there, another cargo plane out. So I did a lot of a little day tripping by myself. As you know, I had a little guide. It was like I knew where the waterfall was. So I took— and I took— so anyway, I had a couple instances where now this village is— was a little bit more advanced now, more westernized. They had TVs. They had, you know, they have definitely watched Western movies and everything. So I think when they saw me as a white woman, some of those local men were definitely were willing to risk a few things. So there was a couple instances I had to fight. And yeah, I was actually. Like this one guy, I was in a very narrow road with cornfields everywhere, and I was walking. I knew where there's a village down there. I was walking, and this guy coming in facing with a big— well, how do you call that? The, the grass cutter that's like, like this?

A sickle.

Yeah. And so he passed me, and I had that gut feeling, you know, when you have that, like something's not okay. And sure enough, I turned around and he turned around and he came for me. He grabbed me, he grabbed me, and then I was like, oh my God, this is, this is it.

This is it.

Yeah, I was like, here's my camera, my, my water. And I knew that the only chance I have if I start screaming. So I make some noise and hoping maybe a, a little like a moped or somebody is gonna come by. And I just start yelling, he hit me in the head. Like, it was, it was bad. I was like, my life was just— this is it. And I start screaming, screaming, screaming, and luckily he got scared and he ran into the cornfields. So, but yeah, so that was, uh, that was scary.

Did you get your camera back?

Huh?

Did you get your camera back?

Yeah, everything fell to the ground. I had a water bottle, I was trying to hit him with it. You know, I was fighting for my life for sure. I didn't know what—

That is insane. Insane.

So yeah, so with that being said, the next day I had my flight out. So I went into my hotel room, went back to my hotel, I locked my door, I was crying, and I called my husband and I told him what he said. And he, and he was almost like, well, what do you expect? That was his kind of reaction. Yes. And so once I calmed down I had some inner monologue going, and I was scared. I was, you know, I just kind of processed what happened. And what was really important to me is that, I mean, luckily this happened at the last day of my trip there and not at the beginning, because I did not want to diminish the incredible 2 weeks that I had with people in this these beautiful indigenous tribes that I met, these, you know, that really, they were so genuine and friendly. And this really happened at a city where I think they looked at the white person as a white woman walking down alone in a different way. So you know what? Yeah, it was, it was, it's still up to this day the most incredible memory of my life and something that I'm so proud of. for doing. And, and I have no regrets for ever, like, making that, because that— I know I had to do it for me. And those— that, that was kind of a risk I was willing to take. And, and, you know, luckily it happened in the end, so, um, I was all good with it, you know.

Wow. And were you upset with your husband for taking his position the way he did?

Um, I understood him. At the same time, I knew he fell in love with me because he knew the kind of adventurous, adventurous soul I was. And, you know, he— I think years later he was definitely— I think he was more worried about me than, you know, it wasn't like, oh, you didn't go with me, or he had no intention of ever wanting to visit that place.

Yes.

So, you know, he was mad. But at that point, I was— it was a trip for me, you know.

Well, I love what you're saying, that this is something that you did for yourself.

Yeah.

I think not enough women— not that I'm suggesting that you go off to, you know, an indigenous company by yourself into the mountains and cornfields and running down the Yeah. But I think not enough of us take the risk to do something for ourselves.

Yeah.

Right?

Yeah.

Where just— and I noticed that since I've gotten married, it's about— I'll say to my husband, well, do you want to drive me or do you want to say— I'm like, CB, you spent X number of years of your life as a single woman. What is this going on here? Get some reality check here.

Yeah. Yeah, and I think it's easier when, you know, before you have the family, before you have the kids and commitments, so it's easier to be— but once, yeah, you have, you have all those responsibilities and people you have to kind of check in with and agree with, then it's, it's really— and my life has definitely not— hasn't been that exciting anymore, so.

Well, I don't know about that, but, but you're right, because I know that I'm so used to being by myself as a married woman. I'd get in the car and just go someplace. My husband would not know where I was going or what I was doing. I'd come back and he'd say, don't you think you could have mentioned that you were leaving the house, one, and where you're going? And I said, why?

Yeah.

I really truly did not understand why.

Yeah.

And his response was, in case something happens. And I thought, yeah, okay, I've done some insane things in my life and nothing has happened. So I don't quite understand that thinking.

Yeah, it's a rewiring of the brain.

Really? Yeah.

You have people who worry about you, who, you know, you need to check in and, and it's natural. It's a big adjustment for sure.

It definitely, definitely is.

And also, I'm sorry, but it also is like not, um, being able to be so big of a risk-taker anymore, right? Because we have somebody depending on me, or like, you know, I have the kids, the husband, and everything. So it— I can't just, uh, oh, I've got an extra $1,000, I'm just gonna buy an airplane ticket. So it's Exactly, exactly.

I remember when I was younger, talking about doing weird stuff, I was in Firenze and there was something I wanted to see and I don't remember what it was, and I hadn't had a chance to see it during the day, and I said, okay, well then I'm just gonna go at night. And I'm walking up this— it wasn't even a street, it was a dirt road.

Uh-huh.

Go and see this in the middle of the night and The next— and I got there, and the next day I was telling a friend who lives there about it. He's like, you crazy? That is the place where most women get raped. You did this by yourself at night? And I said, yeah, what's the problem? I'm from New York. Like, oh my God, that gives me a shield of armor, right?

Yeah, well, it could. New York is a dangerous place.

It's like, yeah, okay, I don't get your concern, right?

Yeah, but these are the— you know, fear can hold us back so much. Yes, it really is. So it's almost like better, as you said, it was after the fact that you knew that information, right? It was after the fact that this happened to me. It was like, it's great, you know. Maybe if it had happened on the first day, I would have been out of there.

I would have been gone.

Yeah, yeah. But a lot of times it's these— when you're going with the flow, when you don't let the, the circumstances or these outside— the fear get to you— is those are the experiences that, that will stay with you for the rest of your life, right?

Yes.

Like, wow, you really were in the moment and you had— you didn't have any— like, you, you stepped outside of your comfort zone and you, you were like, whatever happens, happens.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, I, you know, at that point I don't even think I thought about something bad happening. I was in a foreign country and it was all good, right?

Yeah, you were in the moment smelling the roses, looking at, oh my God, look where I am, look at how—

Exactly.

Yeah.

So, so you did that. Now tell us then, how did you get— so you got back and you— yeah, the babies, and you decided that you were going to do something That you could really be around the babies as they were growing up.

Yeah, so I picked up the camera again. I thought this was a chance. I, I knew I had 5 years until they start kindergarten. My— luckily, my husband gave me the reins. He's like, yeah, just figure it out. Your job is to raise these boys until they get to kindergarten. And, and, and he was very— he was amazing. He gave me everything I needed. So I picked up the camera. I did a lot of online learning because I was pretty much self-taught when I was traveling, you know, taking pictures. So did some online learning, and I started taking pictures of everything. Um, I've taken on, you know, friends' jobs like pets, and I was really conscious. So I started photographing real estate, newborns, family weddings. I was trying everything, but really what I was doing, I was trying to search for something that, that light my fire, something that I, I want to be specialized in. Because I didn't want it to be the, the woman with the camera. I didn't want it to be, hey, I've got a dog, or I've got— I'm renting out my place, can you take pictures of that? Here, I'm doing chocolates, can you You know, I didn't want to have that website where you have everything listed.

Yes, yeah.

So I was doing— newborn photography was out for me very early on. Um, I just didn't care for it too much. It was hard work. Um, real estate, no, it was, it was not working. Weddings, definitely. I did a wedding for a friend. It was so hard, 12 hours. I edited 500, 600 pictures. I was just like, no. So slowly I started to kind of X out the, you know, the things that I— it was not me. And then one day I had a dear friend who just had a baby as well, and she was like, hey, my husband's birthday is coming up, you know, let's do a little bit of a sexier shoot, you know, we can— it was like, oh sure, I was game, you know. And we had a great time. And then I remember she came over and I showed her the pictures on the computer And she— I thought they were beautiful. She was quiet. And I was like, oh my God, what? Like, I thought the pictures were incredible. And so she left. And I was like, oh, she didn't like the photos. That's crazy. And then she calls me that same night and she says, Edina— I'll never forget this. This was like the moment. She's like, Edina, the more I look at these pictures, The more I realized that I'm still a woman inside, and I just can't stop looking at them. So I had goosebumps all up my, like, arms and everything, and that's when I knew. I knew.

What did she mean by that, that she was still a woman inside?

Because she just had a baby, right? So she's been walking around with, um, yoga pants and you know, like bras that she's feeding this child. She's got burp clothes everywhere. She probably hasn't showered for like 3 weeks. You know, she's exhausted. She probably hasn't felt beautiful for a long time, right? Like, it's like all the femininity, everything just kind of, ah, you know, it was, it was all about this baby, right? It was all about— all of a sudden your needs are the last on the totem pole. You're not You're not about being a wife. It's, it's all about being— it's motherhood. So it can be very taxing on a woman's psyche, you know. Um, so, so that's what— while— so when she saw these beautiful feminine pictures of her, her, her body and in a beautiful lingerie with hair and makeup, so she was like, oh, she was reminded of the woman she was pre-pregnancy or pre, you know, like just even a year ago, you know. So that really lit up because— lit her soul up. And I just had little babies too, so I could totally relate to her story. And, you know, it's— so that was— I kind of paid attention to that moment that I was mindful of how it made me feel, how her story connected with me, and how With my photography, I was able to help her increase her self-confidence. And so I was like, this is it. I want to help feel better about them. So I knew that, okay, not everybody's willing to, you know, strip down to their lingerie and everything. So as the months and years go by, I really started to focus Whether that's wearing a ball gown or a beautiful, just a sexy little black dress, whatever is the comfort level of the women. I just wanted to help them come into the studio, have their hair and makeup done, you know, bring their beautiful outfits, or if they needed, I have some in, in the back here. And then I just wanted to give them 3, 4 hours where they can like forget about the outside world and really look and feel confident and beautiful. But most importantly, CB, my goal is to— for the final results, when I show them these images, I want them to be able to look into their own eye and see that beautiful woman that they want— they thought once were, but it's still within, you know, it's still within their soul. They They might be 20 pounds heavier now. We might be 10, 20 years older with more wrinkles, or you know things are not where we were supposed to be or our imagination. But I think when they saw these beautiful images of themselves and they're able to look within, they they can. My goal is for them to to let go of the. the nitpickiness and the harsh critique and the negative self-talk and, and be able to see the beautiful soul within themselves. And I, you know, that's what—

So I, I'm going to, um, interrupt here, and I want to hear more about your thinking, but we're going to make this part 2.

Okay.

Because What you have to say is so important that I want women to hear.

Yeah.

So audience, part 2 is coming up, so please stay tuned. Next week we will talk more with Adina and find out about her philosophy and how does she do all this? How does she make women look so Amazing. It's great talking to you. We'll see you next week. This is CB Bowman. Courage to Leap and Lead.