Challenges of the C-Suite with Howard Prager, Episode 31

Hello everybody, guess what? This is your favorite podcast live streamer. You are tuned into CB Bowman Live Challenges of the C-Suite, and you know I always have a secret. Well, I'm not sure what my secret is going to be today. So let me think about it. I'll come up with something really good. Okay. Hey, how do you like my hair? I went to the beauty parlor yesterday, but she didn't curl it as tight as I'd like to have it done. But I think I'm still rocking it, don't you? Hey, we have Howard Prager on the show today. So let me just tell you about my dear friend. We met through Marshall Goldsmith in his MG100 group. And Howard— Howard is the kindest person I have ever met. Even his voice sounds kind. It's so soothing. You just feel relaxed. And you know what? Here's my secret. He's written a book. He's written a book called Make Somebody's Day, and wouldn't you know it would come from Howard, because when you talk to him, he always makes your day. He's just loving, he's a teddy bear type, right? But don't get him wrong, he's smart as a whip, I am telling you, right? And he comes up with some incredible ideas to support his friends and colleagues, not to mention his clients. So I want to jump right in today. Let's find out a little bit about Howard. What makes him the man that he is? What does he see as the biggest challenges for those in the C-suite today? And how will his book help all of us, including those in the C-suite? So without further ado, I'm introducing my friend Howard Prager. Howard, thank you for joining us today.

CB, I am delighted to join you and your audience. I am— it's just a pleasure.

It's a great audience. I, I tell you, when I don't do this show, I feel like Something is left off. But you know, I'm a high introvert. I have to recharge every once in a while. But then I come back and wow. And during that recharging, I miss the audience. So starting, I think, the week after next, we'll be back consistently on Tuesdays and sometimes on Thursdays. So Howard, Tell us, how did you grow up? What makes you such a kind individual?

Wow, what a beautiful question, CB. I love that. So it's who I dedicated the book to. I dedicated it to my grandmother and my parents because they were such great role models for me. Between that and the community, the very integrated, diverse, liberal community of Southeast Evanston. I think my values and beliefs got set there and established, and I'm just so appreciative of that. And here it is, my— a lifetime later, and I still can look back and appreciate what I had growing up.

So I know that you're a very religious Do you think that that helped your kindness towards others?

You know, do unto others, our Golden Rule, is so important in life. You know, it's not just a religious slogan, if you will, or rule, but it's something that I think we all need to live by in how we carry ourselves off. into how we approach other people. So I want to approach others the way that I'd love them to approach me as well.

But is that something your grandmother taught you, or would you say that your religion taught you that?

Um, you know, my grandmother modeled it. Ah, she modeled it. She'd walk down the street in, um, just outside of Harlem in New York Really? Yeah, yeah.

In her day?

Yeah, yeah.

Tell me, tell me.

Yeah, so this is the '60s. You can imagine Harlem in the '60s, right? Just think about it. We've got the Jackson 5 blaring on the speakers, and, and, you know, people are walking around looking tough, and here's this little kid with his grandmother trying to make me look a lot bigger than I am. And with her, and she, everybody would just stop to talk to her.

Really?

She would do, she would listen. She would give them a kind ear and a kind heart and a kind attention. And, you know, that's what people look for. They look to be heard because imagine New York with millions of people, right? And no one giving each other the time of day because we're all busy rushing to Where we need to be next. And she would, she would take the time for whatever people needed.

Now, I hate to sound silly, but what the heck was she doing in Harlem?

Just outside of Harlem. That's where, you know, these older people were in rent-controlled apartments. And that's where the apartment was. So she was on 109th between Broadway and Amsterdam. Just a few blocks from Harlem. So, you know, 110th Street was named Addie Clayton Powell Street.

Yes, yes. And what did your grandmother do for a living?

She was a homemaker. She did not, she did not work. She took care of— her mother died young, and she was, was the oldest daughter. and ended up taking care of everyone. So in fact, they lived with her, and when she got married, her husband just kind of took them all in and became a, you know, a big family. And as the others got married, they moved out of the house, but— or apartment, New York, right? It was a small apartment, and that's, that's what they did. So, wow.

How many siblings did she have?

7.

Whoa!

Yeah.

Wow. So he, he took on a lot.

He did. He did.

And what did he do for a living?

He, he had a shoe store and worked 7 days a week.

Wow.

Yeah.

So you started to get your work ethics and your people ethics When you were quite young.

Yes, yes. And my dad was also— he was a salesman. We moved from, from New York to Chicago when they asked him to transfer. And, and I just saw the, just the, the love, I would say, the love and adoration he had for his customers. They weren't just like people do business with. These were people who were like family to him. And especially because we had no family when we moved out, we were like the years in the West. We took our covered wagon from New York to Chicago. That's what our relatives thought, is that you're going somewhere far west, right? Not that far, but for them, anything over the Hudson River was far.

Yes, exactly. Oh, I love this story.

You're in Colorado. I can't— but they probably think you're in another country, you know.

I am. And you know, my husband is from Chicago.

I didn't realize that. Oh my gosh. Yeah, I was at your wedding on Zoom and I didn't even know he was from Chicago.

You can't hear it in his voice?

No, just I think about the Italian in him.

Yeah, yeah. And he actually— it's a fun story. John, who we both know, right? Yes, uh, Baldoni. And he were raised right near each other.

No!

Yes, yeah. So John wondered if my husband knew his mom. He didn't know him, but he knew the area, and so they have a good time talking to each other.

Oh, that's great. I love that story.

You just never know.

You never know. No, you don't, right.

So Tell me, Howard, what did you do after you grew up? What did you study in school? I want to understand you as a personality.

Sure, thank you. And CB, the thing is, I think you could talk to people from school age all the way on up, and one thing I— they've said is I've been consistent.

I'm not surprised.

No, thanks, thanks. So I studied psychology as an undergrad.

Of course.

Yeah. And then went to get an MBA, but with a concentration in organizational behavior.

Of course, that makes sense.

Yeah. Yeah. So it was with that that I said, well, I want to make my career— I want to probably— I thought I would start in HR and make my way to learning and development. But I was fortunate enough to get into learning development right away. And so my whole career has been in Learning and leadership development and coaching.

Fantastic. No wonder why you said to me that if I needed help in WE, which is Workplace Equity and Equality, my company, that you would be glad to help. I am going to tap into this knowing more.

Okay. Good. Well, I'm also on that. My local Scout Council— I've been involved in scouting my whole life as well, so maybe that's where some of those values came in too, right? Yeah, and law, and do a good turn daily. And, and, uh, we have the very first DE&I committee in scouting, and of course I'm on that. No!

Yeah, I didn't know this. Yes, Howard, you and I have to talk.

We do, I know. So hey, hey listeners, you have to know that CB and I, for I don't know how long, 6 months, a year, we were on the phone with each other every Saturday talking about our books, our ideas, and providing really feedback and help with another colleague or 2, Doug Winnie and Nankande from Zambia, and together The 4 of us became a real support for each other as we moved through the stages of whatever we needed at the time.

We did. And Howard, you got your book out. I do have the chapters of my book, actually. I'm waiting for one more chapter.

Okay.

Yeah. And so I think next year will be my year.

Excellent. Well, See, here's the difference. You're doing it through a committee. You've got a group of people who are contributing to your book, which is you've got to play den mother, if you will, and trying to round up and get everything and get it in the right format. I just had to deal with me and talk to me about that.

You know, I thought it might be easier. Other people could write the book and I could put my name on it. Right. And, and God, it is so hard. Like, maybe I better restart this whole venture. But, but I have such great people that are on the team, and, and our book is about— oh, I can't tell you. Well, you know what it is, but I do. Yeah, that's a super secret for the audience.

Okay, you can't wait. You can't wait to see what CB is gonna put out, audience. I really love it.

Thank you. Hey, so, uh, we'll definitely have to talk about the DEI because I just changed the whole platform for our company, and, um, I'm doing something that has never been done before.

I love it.

So, but now I want to talk about— so you had all these wonderful people skills to start with, then you went to school and you Further developed them, right, through psychology and organizational behavior. And then that led to what next? Led to learning and development, right?

Starting my career, I spent 10 years in the insurance industry.

No, I did too!

Really? How do we not know these things about each other, CB? This is too funny.

And all the time we spoke, I know.

Every weekend, folks, every weekend, CB and I would talk every weekend.

Oh my God. I was head of learning and development, VP of learning and development for an insurance agency.

Ah, yes.

So what part of insurance were you in?

I, I, well, learning development, but I worked at the home office of one of the Um, largest, uh, companies, uh, and, uh, you know, property and casualty. Uh, they also have a life business.

P&C.

Right, right. Oh my gosh, one of the— one of my early projects was rewriting basic homeowners insurance.

Oh my God.

A 600-page manual. You can only imagine how, how exhausting that was.

Well, who'd you work for, Chub?

I worked for Allstate.

Allstate? Yes, we had agreements with Allstate. That is really funny.

Okay. All right. Well, I have— let me pull from my bookshelf. So as long as we're talking about this, here's my claim to fame at Allstate. I created a program called Being Your Best: A Guide to Career Planning. And if you want to know where the coaching came in, it was a 2-part program. The one part was a guide to career planning. The second part was the manager's coach.

You know, I wish I had seen that because I was conducting a school and I hired potential salespeople. And that would have been so great For my school. So I had an internal university.

Oh, great.

That is—

well, folks, this is why CB has guests on, so she can learn, so we can each learn the things that we didn't know just in, in conversation with each other.

Yeah. And my first job was with MetLife. Ah, a competitor.

I know, I know. And I have a good friend who, uh, was, uh, Underwriting manager for Met.

Wow.

Yeah.

Okay, we'll talk offline because I wonder if I, I know the person. All right, so listen, so then after the insurance biz, what happened?

So I moved in, left the insurance world, went to, uh, Waste Management where I created a sales training department.

Wow.

And after that I said All right, I'm gonna—

The company that has those big turquoise trucks?

Yes, yes.

Oh my God, they're all over the United States.

They are.

Massive company.

Yes.

Oh my God, I had them do my garbage when I was in New Jersey. What else do we have in common? I know.

Oh my gosh. So then I went into my own business and I did that for 5 years doing coaching Leadership development and consulting. And from there, I was recruited into higher ed. And so I worked in executive education for 18 years at Lake Forest Graduate School of Management and at the University of Notre Dame.

Wow, Howard, you come with some heavy street credit.

Oh, thank you. Thank you. It was great experiences.

Yeah.

So now I understand why it was so easy for you to write this I wish it was easy, but you could see where my experiences come from, right?

Yes. How many books have you written now?

So this is, this is the second, but this is the first solo book. The first was a group book that's on ATD and Infoline. But this is the first full-length solo book for me.

Okay.

Oh, and the other thing, I've contributed chapters before. So there's a Workplace Learning Performance Handbook, I was one of the, uh, contributors to that for the first edition. So I've had lots of writing, but I've never taken it and put it in a complete and full book by myself before. This is the first time for that.

Okay, well, you still had it easy compared to me who's dyslexic, right?

I know, I know.

Right, right. Okay, so now we have the history of what credit you had to write this book. Now tell me the idea behind it, because when I first heard it, I thought, huh? But I, I don't consider myself— I thought, well, this is one of those touchy-feely books. I know. But after I met you, I said, this book is needed. To be on everybody's shelf after they read it as a referral guide, like the Bible or whatever religious readings you have, because it reminds us to be human in a way that supports other humans positively. So tell me what took you down the journey after all this learning and development and education that you shared with people and help people with to write this book. And I'm purposely not saying the name of the book or what it's about yet.

Yes. Well, let me tell you the story that ignited it. Okay. And the story happened after my first weekend in New York with Marshall Goldsmith and the MG100. And I'm meeting all these fabulous people who you and I both have the distinct pleasure of knowing and talking to. And so many of them were New York Times bestselling authors and had amazing books out there. I thought I was just coming to hear Marshall. Little did I know that I'd be meeting this, this array of fabulous, brilliant people. And I was coming home and thinking, all right, well, if I'm part of this group now, I've got— I got to get a book written. I got to get, get with the program, right?

Yes.

And I've been thinking, matter of fact, I've got a file, it's probably 30 years old, where I put book ideas, right? I do too. Okay, there we go. So I had all these ideas, but nothing, like I said, Nothing that said was, well, this is really unique or this is different and needed right now. Then this incident happened and I was working downtown as an OD consultant and I was taking the train, the early train commuting downtown Chicago. At like 6:15, 6:20 in the morning, this young woman comes up to me with a clipboard asking me to sign her petition. I said, oh, okay, what's it for? So I asked her and she said it's to get someone on the ballot for the upcoming election. I said, oh, okay, I know people need signatures for that. Can you tell me a little bit about who it was? And she did. And I said, great, I'll sign. So she gave it to me, I signed the petition. I believe I was the first one. I gave it back to her and she looked at me with the widest eyes Like, almost like you do, CB, when you're excited, right? With the beautiful eyes. And she said so sincerely, you made my day.

Wow.

And I realized, first of all, what did I do? I signed the petition. That's all I did. But I realized how powerful those words were because they left me just thinking about Why she said that and how she said that and what that meant. And I said, I think there's something here. I've got to learn more about this because I believe in this philosophy. I believe in trying to make someone's day. But I didn't put all the parts together till that very time. And so going down, I sketched out all 14 chapters. I think it was 16.

16.

when I sketched it, but it's 14 chapters now. And then came the work of really researching and writing and getting the confirmation that yes, there is science behind this, there's neuroscience behind this. Yes, there are stories. Yes, it can be done for even the most introverted introverts can make someone's day. And so I have chapters on all those things. I have chapters on people who have made our lives, people who we've just— who've taken us under their wings. You know, we could call them mentors. We can call them, you know, various phrases that we've used to refer to people who really help us out and take a keen interest in us. And so it's with that that I said, I've got to help and share this with others so they can take advantage and learn and produce the same type of practices as well. And I thought, if we can just get more people to make someone's day, we're going to have much better organizations, we're going to have much happier and committed workers, and we're going to have better communities that we live in. So that's where it came about. And for your CEOs who are listening, CB, I know one of the key issues you're focused on right now is retention. How do I retain my most valued workers? And guess what? It's through this concept that you're going to retain them. Because if you're— you and your leaders start making someone's day, you're going to find people who are going to be extremely loyal to you.

Yeah. You know, I was thinking as I was listening to you just now, there's another part, and maybe this is book 2. After our Saturday meetings, and we hadn't been in touch for a while, I was helping somebody. And well, you know, I'm always in that mode of helping people. But this particular day, This person said to me, you've really made my day. And I stopped, and you flashed in front of my eyes. And instead of the normal reaction that I have with people who say, thank you, you've made such a difference, etc., etc. I stopped and I thought, what does that feel like, CB? What does it feel like to make a difference in somebody's life? You need to just stop and think because we're so quick to say, yeah, okay, no problem.

Yes.

Or some people say, okay, I'm going to call on that favor later. But I never thought to stop and think, how does that make me feel? And Howard, I felt so good. I was elated that I helped make someone's day. And I realized that I had never taken the time to think about how I feel being on the giving end. So I want to thank you, Howard, because now when people say thank you, I hear it.

Yes.

I didn't hear it before.

Wow.

I hear it in such a way that it touches my heart and makes me want to give to others.

That's great. That's a great story, CB, and such a beautiful example of something that I have called the boomerang effect.

Oh, yes.

And, and the neuroscience behind it is we have mirror neurons that reflect back what others are experiencing. It's the same type of thing that helps when you go visit someone in the hospital or who's someone who's ill and you're there to cheer them up. And it's your cheer that they reflect through their mirror neurons and actually helps them to heal. There's studies about that that says, yes, we do help people when we visit them and they're sick or not doing well. Doesn't mean that we're going to cure them, right? But we're certainly going to provide some positive energy and endorphins that they need to be able to help heal better. And that's exactly what happens when someone says, you made my day. They— your mirror neurons pick up on that and they reflect back to you.

So I have to ask you, have you been in touch with Dr. Richard Boyatzis? about your book?

Oh no, I haven't, but I certainly have some of his textbooks in my, uh, in my bookshelf here.

Well, I interviewed him on this show.

Really?

Yes, so you'll have to watch the interview.

I will.

I will be glad to introduce you to him. He's an amazing force in studying neurons and What the effects of emotions are on us.

That's great. That's great. I have not kept up with his recent research. That's terrific to hear that.

He is awesome. He was actually a speaker at our last, um, ACEC. That's my other company, the Association of Corporate Executive Coaches. We had— we just had our conference, and he was one of the He just— everybody was riveted to their seats.

Wow, that's excellent.

Great guy. I would love to introduce you to him.

Thank you.

So now, okay, first show us the book now. Okay, ta-da!

There it is.

Over, move it over a little bit. Make Someone's Day. I— oh, so exciting! I love it, I love it. And it can be found where?

It can be found wherever you like to purchase your online books. Amazon, Barnes Noble, Target are the ones that I know offhand, but I imagine that there are other, uh, e-tailers and retailers that have it as well.

It's in Target?

Wow! Yeah, it's on Target, online on Target. Yes. Wow.

Fantastic. Congratulations. So exciting.

Thank you.

And tell us really the, the whole framework from the book, because I know from working with you, and you had a lot of chapters. Tell us what's the chapter that you feel is getting the most feedback? And by the way, everybody, This was just released. So today, today, today, it's star on the show. Whoa, okay.

I can't, I can't think of a better place to be than with you on your show on my book launch day, CB.

Oh, thank you, thank you. I feel like I have— I'm impressed that I have such a star on. So tell us, you know, there's been a lot of pre-reading. I know that you send out— what's the chapter that people are— and this is probably putting you on the spot— what's the chapter that you feel people are pointing to the most?

You know, it just got released today, so it's hard to say. Um, and believe me, I put lots of thought into every chapter, and it's Kind of builds the practice. But I would say managers and leaders making someone's day is kind of what I feel is like the pinnacle of the book. So it has an arc of going up and growing your skills till we get to managers and leaders using it. And then I wouldn't say necessarily comes down the other way, but then starts focus on other things such as rudeness and incivility. And how do we deal with that? How do we make someone stay in a crisis? And we've certainly been living through that the last couple of years. How is that?

Stop. Tell us about that chapter.

The crisis.

How do you make somebody stay in a crisis?

There's so many beautiful stories in here. So let me tell you one that just pops to mind right away is that is Many of us know a lot of kids came home from college a year ago, a year, year and a half ago when the pandemic started and colleges, like so many other things, shut down and kids came home and they might have had some online classes and such, but, but, you know, they're bored. They want to figure out what to do. And there's this one, one individual in a suburb of Chicago called Orland Park. who decided, I'm going to create a service that is going to help those that can't get out. And he recruited a whole bunch of his college buddies to help out. They would not take any money. And if someone couldn't get out because of the danger of the drug or didn't want to get, you know, danger of the COVID or didn't want to get out, they would do their shopping. And especially they would stop at the pharmacies for them and get them their life-saving medications that they needed. He was so successful with that, was on the news in Chicago and everything else, that there are now 35 chapters of it around the country.

Like, what is it called?

What is it called? I've gotta— you know what, now, now you've stumped me, so I'm gonna go in here a little bit. And I'm going to try to see what it's called because he was remarkable. His name is Michael Arundel, and he was in college at the University of Alabama. Leave It to Us—that's what it's called. Leave It to Us. And in the early days. He would just call his buddies and say, hey, I've got an order, who's got time to go run and get it? That's truly how it started, as simply as that. It has grown so successfully and so beautifully that I say bravo, Michael, and all those who have helped. I talk about vaccine angels, those people who are able to— when appointments for getting vaccines first came out and you needed to have Omnipresent computer skills and knowledge of when these things were going to happen. There's some young people, including my stepdaughter Annie, who were able to go out and do that. She got thousands of appointments for people who couldn't get them otherwise. Just tons and tons of examples. People who said, I'm going to share my professional expertise for free, who were like movie directors and music teachers and other ones who were just trying to help as remote learning was getting started and everything else. We had food safety companies offering to the public at large free food safety training because we're all doing so much more cooking than we were used to. There's a group of singers who came about and said, we're going to create the Sofa Singers and we're going to figure out how people can sing online so they can bring some joy into their lives once a week. So many stories of, of what people would do to learn, to grow, to support one another, to provide the positivity that's so needed. There's something in Chicago called the Love Fridge. They went to neighborhoods that were— that didn't have the fresh ingredients, the food deserts, I think is the term that's called. And people populated these, they call them Love Fridges. And people could just go in and take things out of the Love Fridge that they needed, and they were in food deserts. There is story after story of things in a crisis that people did to make someone's day.

Oh my God, Howard, you're— that's a tearjerker of a book. Wow. I, I remember hearing, and I don't remember the details, during COVID there was a woman who needed to have the COVID shot and couldn't get it.

Yeah.

Desperately needed it. I couldn't remember what the health condition was. And her neighbor heard about it and was scheduled to get the shot. I think the neighbor was a first responder, so she was able to get it earlier. And so she gave her spot Wow.

Oh my gosh.

Yeah. As a first responder, so she exposed herself to the potential of having a potion, but gave the shot. I think the neighbor had heart disease or something and absolutely needed the shot and could not— after calling all around, all around, everybody said no. this neighbor. She put it out on— what's that app for?

Nextdoor.

Nextdoor. She put it on Nextdoor and her neighbor saw it and said, take my spot.

Oh, that's so stunning. That's such a beautiful story. You know, CB, this country— when I was watching the 9/11 tributes like a week or two ago on the anniversary of 9/11 and all the stories about people coming together in support supporting and helping one another. It was a beautiful thing, and I think a lot of times in the pandemic we've experienced some of that same thing. I just would, just would love to have seen that grow even, even more. But, um, yeah, people, people want to help. They want to do the right thing.

I think so. And I think it is— when you said I'd like to see more, I think there's lots and lots of it. But for some reason, and I don't know the answer to this, human nature focuses on the not so good.

Yes.

And we don't hear enough. And then we wonder why everybody has this inner anger, upset from hearing all this negative things that are on all this, all the negative things that we see on TV, watching Uh, Fox News and CNN, and, and people are addicted. My husband is one addicted to this. We— I remember there were shows on TV because people complained there was so much violence, and then they had shows that talked about good things and nobody would watch them.

Yeah, yeah.

So the question is, what are we doing to ourselves as humans, right? We're setting ourselves up to be unhappy, to not celebrate good.

So here's what I learned from the neuropsychologists, CB, about what you just said. Yes. And that is we can train our brain in one of two ways. One way, and the easier way, the default way, is to be negative. That is much easier to do. It's much easier to complain. It's much easier to be negative. To be positive, we have to train ourselves. I don't know. I don't know why that's the default, but that's the default button. So we need to rewire our neurons to be positive.

You know, I heard this on the, on the radio, actually listening to the radio. Yesterday, um, there's a channel called Cozy, I think, on— it's 101 in Colorado.

Yes.

And on the weekends, um, yeah, it was on the weekend, uh, there's this guy that plays music, but he inserts it with points of knowledge. Like he said, they have found that the 3 best foods for nurturing the brain In terms of memory. Okay, you're not gonna believe this one. Well, we all know about walnuts, right? Right. Avocado.

Well, my wife will be happy with that.

Yes, eating one avocado a day. Now you're going to gain weight, but you'll remember that you gained the weight, right?

No pain, no gain, right?

And the last one you would never guess in a million years. I'll give you one guess.

Oh, I'm gonna, I'm gonna say some one of those miracle berries, right? No, antioxidant-rich berries. No.

It's chicken.

Really?

Yes.

Oh my gosh. Well, I'm good. I've got to remember everything. You must have chicken 5 nights a week.

New research that's just come out, and all I could think about is, God, I won't be able to get a roast chicken at Costco for $5.99 anymore. It'll be sold out.

I, I don't think Costco believes in sold out, so I think you're still gonna be okay.

Well, you know, I love the store. I really do. It's really sad. I think I'm addicted to it.

But we all are.

Um, you know, you know the stories of the story about the chickens at Costco, right?

The story about the chickens? No. What about them? I know they're like bigger than any other store you go to.

Yes. Right. So Costco used to get all their chickens from companies like Perdue, et cetera. And Costco set the price. Was it $5.99?

$4.99. $4.99. $5 to get a whole chicken roasted.

And so you think I'd have it in back of my head. I think it's the ribs that are $5.99.

Oh, okay.

At any rate, um, so the chicken companies that they were dealing with said, we have to raise the price and we, we can't guarantee you the same size all the time. And Costco, Costco in its inevitable way— this was in the news— said, uh, I don't think so. So, and they went and they opened a chicken farm, a chicken producing farm.

Oh my gosh.

Millions on so that they can have the right size and keep their pricing. And it just— I mean, who does that? And there was some odd statistic about they will make up the money that they use to purchase this. I mean, it's acres and acres in less than 2 years just on the sale of chickens.

I'll bet, I'll bet. Oh my gosh, that's too funny, too funny.

You've gotta love it. Yeah, their whole philosophy— talk about make someone's day.

They do. They, and they grab you. You walk in there and all of a sudden you've got all these things that I didn't know I needed this, but all of a sudden it's in your shopping cart.

So, you know, Howard, I'm so excited about your book. I'm hoping that there's somebody out there that knows Oprah, because I think that this is more powerful than her endorsement of The Secret, the book. This is a powerful book that we so need in Especially today. I mean, 5 pandemics at once? Who would have thought?

I know.

That we would measure ourselves in terms of resilience with something like this.

Yes.

And I think that your book talks to resilience, right?

It really does. It really does. And, you know, as you're talking about that, and I think about— because I mentioned Oprah in the book, Because in my chapter on introverts, I said— and we all have a little introvert in us, right? All of us need some time to recharge, and even the most extroverted people need some time. And so I said, what are some ways of making someone's day? So I talk about 5 different charities that you can donate some money to that will have almost that same type of an effect. And one of them is Oprah's favorite charity, and that's DonorsChoose. But there are a number of ways you can do this as an introvert, just doing it online. And Ted Koppel interviewed the— there was someone who actually created the like button. I didn't know there was someone who created it, but there was.

Wow.

And so I talk about, about him and how he created the like button. And then I thought that was him. It wasn't Ted Koppel. It was— he interviewed the person at Facebook who created the like button. Okay. Yeah, yeah. And then, and, you know, and then of course it became the thumbs up, right? The famous thumbs up. And then, uh, they moved into comments and how comments are even more powerful because they're more personal. And yet we're still able to do it online and not need to be face-to-face. And so I share other examples of what are ways of making someone's day online. And darn it, it works. It works. Someone said to me, I've had this happen twice already, that they texted to me, you made my day. It's like, really? So, so there are ways of doing it if people feel a little hesitant to try it, uh, in person. The other thing is that I create— I created this simple model, this VIP model, to be able to have people learn how to do it and how to turn it into a skill and then how to make it a habit.

And I'll Yeah, I'm sorry, go ahead.

Yeah, yeah. And I, and I named it the VIP model because we all want to feel like a VIP, have that same type of treatment. And that's what— when, when someone makes your day, that's how you feel. You feel so special. So it's, it's really the simple 3-step process. It's not a— doesn't— it's not rocket science. It just takes some, some work, some dedication, some practice to do it.

Well, we won't tell people because that'll be in the book.

It will be in the book, the VIP model.

Yes. You know, I also want to share with you that it doesn't take a lot of work to make somebody's day. And, and you may not hear those exact words, and I want to give an example. I was in— and trust me, I'm not an angel, so don't I'm not putting myself in that category. But I just want to share with the audience one of the things that I was very proud of myself for doing. I was in a garden store just shopping. You know, the summer is my demon because I have the plants and the vegetables and everything. I just harvested a cucumber 2 days ago from my garden that was 2.5 pounds.

Wow. Oh my gosh.

No, no, I lied. It's a pound and a half. It was a pound and a half.

That's still huge. That's still a huge number.

Yeah. So I was in the store and I noticed that there was a woman using walking sticks to walk and her daughter was with her and her daughter was just kind of like looking around like she was ashamed Of being with her mom. And I was watching this interaction. I mean, she spoke to her mom very respectfully. She was the model daughter, but I could tell that she was probably a teenager and a little, you know. And so I went over to the mom and I said, you know, it's interesting to watch you use your walking sticks. My husband gave me a pair 2 years ago and I did not know how to use them. And she said to me, oh, it's pretty easy. And she started to show me how to use them. And I said, huh? And she said, the reason why I'm using them is I received a flu shot a number of years ago that I had a really bad reaction to. And I became paralyzed. And so I had to learn how to walk again. The doctors thought I would never be able to walk again. And these walking sticks helped me keep my balance. And I said, well, they look really cool because that's— isn't that what hikers use also? And she said, yes. And they now found it really helps in training your system Again, to walk independently. I said, well, I am really, really happy that you shared this with me. I'm gonna go home and get my walking sticks out and try using them. As I'm talking to her, I'm watching the daughter's face. Her daughter's face started to light up.

Oh.

My mom is teaching somebody how to use walking sticks and telling her about it. She— you could see her move to uncomfort to being so proud of her mom. And I just said, thank you, so I really appreciate this. It'll make my husband feel good. I'll be able to use his gift. That daughter, the difference. Now they say thank you for making my day, but I saw it. And I think if we take the time to see the pain that somebody else is experiencing and to speak up in support of them not feeling the pain, that makes somebody's day.

Yes, yes, that's a beautiful story, a beautiful story. Thank you.

And I saw her. We were driving the other day and I recognized her, and we drove by too fast, but I saw this woman walking with walking sticks and I looked, said, that's the same woman. So she was out exercising with her walking sticks.

That's great.

Wow. Yeah. So now I could use my walking sticks because now I know how to use them because I said Well, do you put them out in front or is it one leg with it? She was just showing me the motion.

Yes.

I think we can all make somebody's day.

We can. Again, I think that managers and leaders need to— it's a business imperative, CB. It really is.

I'm glad that you moved us back to that before we have to end. Because right now, leaders in particular and managers in particular in an organization are struggling with how do they express empathy, how do they help their employees feel better? Because now, right now, we are in the height of people resigning.

Yes.

Because they don't feel a connection with the organization. And what an opportunity for a leader or manager to read your book to understand how to do this. Because until now, the law has said we can't get personal with employees. It's a no-no. How do you bridge that gap between bringing empathy, not getting personal, making somebody stay so that they want to be with your company?

Yes, absolutely. It's so much more important as we have workers either full-time remotely or hybrid remotely to be able to connect because we don't have those water coolers if they're standing by our copy machines where you'd have some chitchat or a coffee break where you go to. It doesn't happen anymore. We've got to find the ways. By being able to do this effectively online, as I say, you are going to not only inspire and increase the productivity of your workers, but you're going to be able to retain some of those valued workers because you're concerned about Absolutely.

I think it's a real opportunity and it's a different approach.

Yes.

For retention.

Yes, absolutely. So, um, give you a very quick story. I know we're running late, but Doug called my audience.

They're used to me.

Oh, good. Okay, so let me get a few stories because that might help them see how this happens, how it works. really works. Doug Conant actually was a CEO of Campbell's Soup. We all love Campbell's.

Before you start, we're getting in comments from the users in LinkedIn. I so much appreciate it when you do that. No name is given, but 2 comments, that's empathy and that's synchronicity. We're, we're being heard.

Oh, good. Oh, good.

Tell us, Campbell Soup.

Doug Conant took over as CEO. Campbell Soup was not just in the red with their tomato soup, they were in the red financially, and he had to figure out how to turn them around. And here's what he— one of the things he did, and he writes about in his book Touchpoints, he would write 200 to 250 thank you notes a week, a week, to people who made a difference at Campbell's. Can you imagine how the loyalty you would feel if you got a thank you note from the CEO? That would be front and center on my desk if I got that. And I would certainly want to continue to do things that would stand out for him or her as a leader. That's a very simple story of how it could happen. Here's another one. This is with another CEO that you and I both know a little bit, and that's Hubert Joly, who just wrote his own book, which is beautiful. He took over Best Buy. Most CEOs, when they take over a company, that's struggling, what are they going to do? They're going to slash people. They want those numbers to go up. They want better numbers, better financials. Well, he didn't do that. He donned a blue Best Buy shirt, went out to the middle of the country to St. Cloud, Minnesota, and worked on the floor with his name tag saying CEO in training. And he worked in sales for a week. Absolutely. Uber said, I want to learn what's going on, what the problems are, what the successes are. And he heard from the employees and heard from the customers because he was there with them. What a great example of someone who said, I'm not just gonna preach it, I'm gonna do it. And so he lived it, and that's how he learned and then was able to turn around through his humanity. Best Buy. Tons of stories like this that really show how just paying attention, by giving attention to others, they can really benefit. Here's another example, but not from a CEO, just from someone like you and me. She was a marketing manager for a consulting company and went to make a sales call in a downtown building. So she rode up in the elevator. And as she was getting out, Lisa was hearing some sort of shouts. And so she pushed like the hold, you know, the button to hold the elevator from closing and said, you know, what can I do? And she said, I've been stuck in this elevator. And for some reason, the emergency button is not working. And so she said, I've got a choice to make here. I want to be— I want to be on time and even early to my meeting at this new company that I'm trying to get into. But I also have the value of wanting to help others. And so she said, I knew what I had to do. I went to get help. I went to find the management of the building to let them know that this elevator shaft, the reason you're not seeing it working is because someone's stuck in it. And it stopped working. Well, she got to the place and she apologized to receptionist. They said, oh, no worries, your host isn't here yet anyway. Let me seat you in the conference room. And she's gonna be a little late, she's been detained. And she thought, okay. And so Lisa's sitting there kind of twiddling her thumbs, and 15 minutes later, in walks this exasperated executive. And she said, you won't believe this, I was stuck in an elevator for And someone was kind enough to let me— help me out. And she said, that was you? Well, you know that she walked away that day with a new contract, right? Wow. And a new client, all because she did the right thing to try to make someone's day.

Have you seen that show Undercover Boss?

Yes.

That's what reminds me of when you, uh, talked about The Boss Writing Thank You Notes. Yeah, that is absolutely one of my favorite shows.

It's a great show. It really is a heart— heartful when you see, especially because you're seeing these people and you're hearing their struggles, and the CEO's hearing their struggles, and they want to do something about it. They really do.

Yeah. Howard, I am so appreciative to you writing this book. I— and I'm so appreciative that you invited me to be part of your launch team.

Thank you, CB.

It has provided another dimension of us getting to know each other, and, um, I'm just fortunate. To know you.

I feel equally blessed, and I feel equally proud to be able to share, uh, this time with you in this format, with you, with your listeners, with your, uh, fans who appreciate, uh, the genuineness. You're not just someone here to do interviews. There's so many places that do that, but you're here to really kind of get the story behind it and get to know, um, the person, what makes them tick. And that's so, uh, so much more valuable because people could say, I could do that, that's how I was raised, or that's what I've learned. So good for you for doing that, CB. Thank you.

Well, I know, Howard, you asked to be on the program many times, and I just felt the timing wasn't right. But when you came out with your book, I guess I, I was just waiting for that. Yes. I said, now I can make my move and grab him for the show. And what a perfect day, the day your book launches.

Right.

That was just phenomenal. So, audience, I hate to say goodbye, but you know what? You have some work ahead of you. I am actually giving you a homework assignment that I hope you'll accept. You know what it is. Make somebody's day. Thank you so much for tuning in. I'll see you, I believe, next week, but check it out on LinkedIn and you'll find out where to find me. Have a great day and remember, make somebody's day. Bye now. See you soon.

All right, thank you.