Courage to Leap & Lead with Becky Robinson, part 1 - Episode 152

You've got courage to leap, courage to lead. Be brave and be bold. Whoa, let it roar. Welcome to the Courage to Leap and Lead podcast, where each of our guests share the stories of courage that helped them become powerful leaders. Before we start today's show, please remember to visit courage-consulting.com. Where you can find all the episodes and other excellent resources, all at courage-consulting.com. Now here's your host, Leadership Courage Coach CB Bowman.

Hello everybody. It's Tuesday. And so, you know, it's courage to leap and lead. I never test you. What do you think of my new intro song, which was designed, created by myself and a songwriter? So please drop me a note at cb@cbbowman.com and let me know what you think. I want to hear from you all. Hey, today we have a rock star, a rock star. Her name is Becky Robertson and If you're writing a book, you want to get to know this person because she is a genius at helping people with their book launch and marketing their new books. So I am really looking forward to hearing about her life and the challenges that she's had and how she's overcome them. By the way, her book I don't think I have it downstairs because I still am reading it because I am absorbing every word. Becky, do you have your book available?

You know, I don't have my book handy either, but it's Reach: Create the Biggest Possible Audience for Your Message, Book, or Cause. I think I have a copy up in my loft, but I don't have one down here with me either.

This is not good because it's You know what? If you go and look at my newsletter on LinkedIn, I think it was last month or the month before, you'll see I did a big thing about it. And you know what? I want to tell you, this is a good book. And I don't say there are many really good business books because, you know, you read the first chapter and everything else is repeated and dissected and it's like, I get it. I don't need to read anymore. This book, and it's also available on audio, is riveting because what it does is it teaches you how to— what's the word that I want? It teaches you how to take what you've done and break it up into pieces and use the pieces for marketing to make a cohesive whole. And there are so many tips about that, like writing a book. She tells you that you could take each chapter and make that into a newsletter. You can make it into posts. You can do a LinkedIn newsletter. I mean, there's so many ways that you could use your information without starting from scratch. It's mind-boggling. I love it. Repurpose. That's the word that I want. She teaches you how to repurpose your material so that it always looks new and fresh, and you're giving your audience new information. And she teaches you how to acquire new followers. And you know what? I better stop because I want you to read the book.

Yeah.

So it's called Reach. Okay. Um, and it's got an orange cover with like a big white circle in the center, so you'll spot it right away. Becky, welcome.

Thank you, CB. It's so good to be here with you, and I love hearing you describe my very favorite chapter of my entire book, chapter 7, where I do talk about all the different ways that you can repurpose your content over time to add value to others.

Thank you. And I might have to drop for a second because the terriers that I just let outside now wanna come inside. You guys, you know, we keep it real here. This is just part of life. Becky, tell us about you as a young girl. How did you start to become so well-known?

Oh, well, um, oh, it hasn't been a straight line by any stretch of the imagination, CB. So I would say that, you know, when I look back at who I was as a small child, there were all the threads of who I would someday become. But even when I I was graduating from college in the early '90s, I didn't have a really super great vision of what I would want my career to be. I was more focused on, at the time, like, the life I wanted to build. You know, I had always wanted to have a family and kids and all of that. And so I would say that during my 20s, I was very focused on not building a career at all, but more about, like, I had a job, and then my husband and I were in ministry together. We started a church. So in my 20s, that was what I call like the ministry years. And then I had my first child at age 30, and I was blessed.

Wait, wait, wait. Going too fast. Let's go back to the ministry.

Sure.

What pointed you in that direction?

I think my upbringing as a whole. I would, you know, in college, I was fortunate enough to be surrounded by a bunch of people who had faith as a central part of their lives.

And—

Was that your parents?

Was that important to your parents?

Um, I was raised in a Christian family. I was raised in a pretty conservative home, although my parents did divorce when I was young, so it wasn't exactly like, you know, your traditional intact family experience. But I did grow up, you know, going to church Sunday morning, Sunday night, Wednesday night, um, and, you know, kind of in a way that, that people don't really do today. You know, Wednesday night was the fellowship dinner, you know, or where my mom would drop me off at church and I would go and eat dinner with all these, you know, adults and families, and then I would go choir and, you know, all of the kind of church things that you did back then. I don't think it quite exists that way today, but that was the way that I, that I grew up. And faith was a central part of my life and a central part of my husband's life when he and I met and married in the early '90s. So still a part of my life as well. But that's why, like, I call my 20s the ministry years, because I was really more focused on supporting my husband's career as a pastor. We were partnering together. to build a church. And, um, and even though I did have a job at that time, it wasn't like the driving force of my life in any way.

You actually built a church from scratch?

We did. We started a church in the later '90s, I guess it was. Um, we met in a theater, so we didn't have our own building, and we were trying to create an approach where people who maybe weren't comfortable, where everyone could feel welcome and included. And so we, at that time, it was kind of cutting edge. My husband had long hair, he had a ponytail. We had, you know, a rock and roll band. My husband is an amazing, like, creative writer also, and he would write, like, skits and dramas that we would have actors perform to help bring out the truths of the message. And it was, it was pretty fun. It was a lot of work, but we met a lot of great people and it was a really It was a fun ride while it lasted.

I want to know, how did you get people to come to your church? Well, did you just knock on doors like a salesperson, or did you hold a webinar, or what did you do?

Oh, well, that was way back before the days of webinars, CB. But, you know, we started with a core group of people that came from a different church where we had all been. And so we formed a core team. You might call it a launch team, just like you would for a book launch.

Yes. Yeah.

And obviously this is before the days of social media. And so I think as a core team, we invited friends and neighbors. We might have been covered in the newspaper with, you know, like a new approach to church. It's a great question. How did we get people to come in? Like, I don't think that we went door to door, but I think it was a lot of those of us in the church just inviting people. that we met along the journey. And it grew pretty fast. I remember in the early days, I would always greet people at the door, and maybe the first week we had like 60 people, and then the second week we had 100. And, you know, in the day we would have like 200 to 300 people coming.

Wow. Wow. And how did you handle people that were against what you were doing?

Huh, that's an interesting question. Um, I, I mean, I'm sure there are always detractors, CB, but I don't really remember there being a lot of people against what we were doing. Um, you know, it was a long time ago now. It feels like a different lifetime almost. But, you know, it was a lot about just building relationships with people. We would have small groups like in our home, or we would have people over for meals. We just really wanted to get to know and care for people just right where they And, you know, provide help and support. And, um, you know, we were pretty young, the church was pretty young, um, and, you know, trying to be relevant and address issues that people really needed, uh, guidance on and support with.

I love that statement of meeting people right where they were. That's a very powerful statement because I think today that's It's a lost art. I mean, that's the only way I could think to phrase it.

Yeah, you know, my husband said something early on, which I've always remembered, and I admire him for. He talked about the flinch test. And what he wanted was that there isn't anyone who would walk in the door that you would flinch to see them, that any person, no matter who they were, or, you know, where they had come from in their life, that they would, you know, feel welcomed, that they would feel like they would fit in. So like, we didn't have any kind of dress code, or, you know, you didn't have to be a certain way or be a good person. Like, and, you know, anybody could come. Um, so I, I've always—

That was your mantra, and so people went with that?

Yeah, I think so. You know, he would talk to those who were leading in the church about this, like, flinch test. Like, you know, you, you have to be prepared to, to welcome, you know, anyone. And our, our church at the time, we were in New York State, and it was in a downtown area Although, like, not a big downtown. And, and so people would wander in, you know. We did some kind of unique things, I think, at the time. The job that I had at that stage of my career, CB, is I worked for a nonprofit that served people with developmental disabilities and traumatic brain injury. And so through that group of relationships, we started to have people from the group homes who would come to the church.

Yeah.

And so it wasn't unusual to have the people from the group home, you know, getting out of their wheelchair vans and kind of rolling on in. And we wanted them to be welcome. And then, you know, we had a few individuals from that setting who were deaf. And I at the time had learned to interpret sign language.

Mm-hmm.

And so, you know, I don't think it was very common back then, especially in a church of our size, to have a sign language interpreter. And let me tell you, I'm not like great at it, but I would, you know, do the sign language. I often would sing on the stage. And so I would do the sign language for the songs while I was singing. And then when it came time for the spoken parts of the service, I would like sit down near the edge of the stage and be able to interpret for the deaf individuals who are part of our congregation.

I'm learning so much about you. It's incredible. How did you learn sign? That's something I've always wanted to do.

Hmm. Well, so because I was working for this nonprofit that served families and individuals with disabilities, I think there was Back at that time, I remember I was like a trainer, and so I would help to train new staff as they were coming into our organization. And there arose an opportunity to be trained on— it's not ASL, like in terms of the kind of certification you could get at the university level, but this was more— it's called Signing Exact English. So whatever words I'm speaking, I'm signing the words, whereas American Sign Language is a language of its own with its own grammar. It's way complex. You know, most of the time when you're working with a disabled person, you're like, their kind of vocabulary is lower or, you know, they haven't had exposure to that either. And so we learned more functional sign language to help people communicate where they needed a chance to be able to communicate more fully. So I was part of like a train-the-trainer and we had a curriculum that we were able to go through and then From there, I taught others in our organization how to use sign language as well.

Can you still sign?

I can sign some stuff.

Can you sign part of our conversation?

I mean, I could. Like, I feel self-conscious, but like, so when I— after that kind of ministry phase of my life, I had kids. And so a lot of young moms or moms in general, I guess you don't have to be a young, young mom, will use sign language with their children before they can speak. So one of the first signs I taught my kids is a sign for more. were like, this is a sign for mama. Um, and, and I have used that even, even to this day in, in different ways and places as I've worked with kids.

Okay. I would love for you to sign part of this. We've never had that opportunity.

Uh, uh, all right. This is just signing exact English, CB. So like, you're, you're signing like the exact words you're saying. So like, I will try to sign Our conversation today. Okay, so thank you for welcoming me to your— so this is the sign for show, but it's like to show me something. Show me. Okay, I don't know if you can even see my hands. I don't know if I mean—

Yes, we could. Okay, so show me. Okay, do it slow.

Show me.

Your.

Show me your name. So see—

Wait, do name again.

Name.

2 fingers.

Yeah, name.

Name. Oh wait, 2 fingers.

Name.

Name. Okay.

I will try.

I. I.

So this is the letter I. The first thing would be to learn the alphabet. So yeah, I, you put it on your chest. I, with your, with your pinky finger out. I, I, I will, just an open hand will. And this is the letter T, try. I will try. You know, it's something that your body remembers, but it's not something that I use a lot. I will try.

Will.

Try.

Try. Fantastic. I'm so excited.

Yeah, a few years ago, I wrote a blog post about this, about how quite often there are parts of ourselves or talents that we might have that we don't utilize in our day-to-day life. And I was thinking about how it could be very powerful to rediscover some of those latent abilities or skills. to see how you might use them to add value.

Like what?

Well, like my sign language, for example.

And give us another example.

Um, this is kind of an odd example, but, you know, back in the day, I was fairly good at planning out meals in advance and, like, cooking them and freezing them so that at really busy times, I would have healthy meals for my family. So that could be like a latent skill of, like, spending a whole day You know, shopping and cooking and prepping. I know a lot of people do that still, but that might be one. Or, you know, sometimes we have something that we're good at, like, oh, poetry. When I was in college, I was a creative writing major and I wrote poetry. I haven't read poetry as an adult. So that kind of creative poetic side could be like a latent skill that's just waiting to be rediscovered.

You know, you're right, because I used to write poetry too. And then for some odd reason, I stopped. And then with the killing of Floyd, I sat down. I said, I'm gonna try to write again. And I wrote what I think is a beautiful— what I think is a beautiful—

Think.

Think is a beautiful—

Poem.

I don't think I know the sign for poem. Sorry. Maybe I did at one time.

And I actually put it in my new book that's coming out. So yeah.

I'll have to look for that.

Yeah, I couldn't get it published in a magazine because it was too, uh, was— it's a very deep poem. Um, and I said, okay, well, just put it aside. And when I wrote my book, I There's the place for the poem. So, um, I'll have to send it to you.

Um, it's amazing.

Okay, now, so you left the ministry. Why'd you do that?

Well, so my husband, uh, decided that he wanted to look for something that would be a little bit less stressful. You know, the people side of leading a church can be pretty stressful at times, and Overwhelming. And he had started to have stress headaches on a daily basis, and nothing was really touching them. So one day he said, I think I need to look for a different kind of career. And the day that he decided that, the headaches went away.

Isn't it scary how your brain just says enough is enough? I mean, your mind thinks, okay, I want to continue to do this, I'm happy, and then The body says, not so fast. I mean, I learned that recently by seeing a functional doctor when they told me— I've never heard of this— that the stomach has more emotional neurons than the brain does. And I said, what are you talking about? And they explained it to me and I thought, well, now that's really interesting. Because I have, and I'm not a chocolate eater, but I had been dousing the chocolate. I got into the Hershey's nuggets, the dark chocolate with the almonds, and I blame it all on my beautician because she would have a bowl of it when I walked in, and I just started eating them so much. I would go to grocery store and buy a bag, and then when the functional doctor said, "Not so fast. Let's eliminate chocolate." And traditionally, I only eat chocolate around the holidays, but understanding that it's now June, it's no longer holiday season. And I stopped eating it and I've gotten so much better.

I would have a really hard time giving up my chocolate, CB.

I hear you. Trust me, I hear you. But your body doesn't react to it the way my body did. So, you know, it's all about what the body is used to and what the body will tell you at certain points in your life. I'm learning this. I feel like I'm telling the whole world about it, but it's just, it's incredible the things that we don't realize, right?

So you gave that up and then decided Well, so it was about the same time, about the time my husband was leaving the ministry is when I found out I was pregnant with our first child. So I ended up leaving my career, my job that I had had working with people with disabilities. And it was really all like right around the time that my husband was leaving the ministry. So we had 3 children and I was able to and felt fortunate to stay home with my children from the time the first one was born and then through about 2009 when my youngest was about 3 years old, and I, um, was a full-time stay-at-home parent, and I also homeschooled our children— our oldest until 3rd grade, our middle until kindergarten.

And then— Okay, stop.

My little one, not at all.

Stop. Another segment, ladies and gentlemen, homeschooling.

Yeah.

You've got to be kidding me.

No.

That is tough work.

You know, I will say to this day, CB, that homeschooling my kids, particularly homeschooling my oldest when I had a couple of toddlers and an infant, it was way harder than running my company. Just the amount that I was trying to juggle and the competing demands and the, like, feeling like the work was never done or, you know, always wanting to, like, do more or be better or— yeah, it was hard. It was a lot.

So I understand, and I don't know if this existed back when you were homeschooling, that there are actually clubs that exist for parents who are homeschooling?

Yeah, I actually started some. So when my—

Of course you did.

When my oldest was starting out, we had a preschool with 4 kids, and we would rotate the houses for the preschool. So in 4 weeks, the kids would be in a different home, and each mom was responsible for planning activities and crafts and cooking and whatever it is that we did with the kids when they were at our house. And I did that also when my second one was preschool. And then by the time my kids were starting to get a little bit older, a group of families joined together. I think there were maybe 5 or 6 or 7 families, and we created a co-op. And we would— at that time, more of us had more children of different ages. So we, we used a history-based curriculum, and we were like going through history, and we would divide the kids by age, and then different moms would teach the different age groups. And we got together one morning a week for that co-op. It was amazing. And the women are to this day dear friends of mine.

So— I've never heard of a co-op school.

Oh yeah, it was— I mean, there are plenty of them that exist still today and probably existed then as well, but it was just other families who were also homeschooling kids similar ages. And we actually met in a church, um, that we were able to use for free, and it had, you know, multiple different classrooms for us. And we would kind of bring all, all the families together. We would take turns bringing snacks. And like I said, each of the moms would take responsibility for teaching a different, like, age group of kids.

Well, I remember when I was in New Jersey, they were building a co-op school, but it was— but they were actually building a school. It wasn't, you know, like in a church or homes, and I never quite understood the mechanics for it, right? I mean, it's, uh, it's an interesting concept because in a specific space you have people, you have children of different ages studying different things.

Well, we were mainly studying the same topics but at, you know, different activities for each age level.

Okay, okay. So for the younger kids studying history, you might be drawing pictures of different characters in the historic past. Older children, you would have like a textbook that was more intense. Yes.

And I think like, so for all of us who were joining together, if I remember correctly, we had kind of this core book that we were using. It was called The Story of the World. And so for those who were old enough to read, they would read it themselves. For the young ones, we might read them stories stories, or we also would pull in like related literature. So whatever the topic is, like say I remember we were studying like the Egyptians and the mummies and the tombs and such, and so we would get age-appropriate picture books from the library and request the books. And so the little kids might be looking at a picture book about the mummies, and the older kids might be looking at something more advanced or doing their craft that was more advanced. And at the time that I did the co-op, I lived in the city of Chicago, And what was amazing about that stage of my life is when you live in the city and you have a library card, the library has these free library passes to museums. So whenever we could, we would— like, for example, when we were studying the ancient Egyptian history, we would get a pass to the Field Museum and we would go with the kids and just spend a lot of time looking at all the exhibits to really bring the learning from the curriculum to life. And we might do that in a group, or we might might, you know, take the whole co-op. But, um, it was, it was a lot of fun. It was one of the most satisfying times for sure of my life to, to be able to spend that time with my kids when they were young.