Coffee with Chad

Foreign welcome to another edition of Coffee Chat with Chad. It is Wednesday. I'm going to try to come to you every Wednesday and just do a little bit of coaching and mindset work with you. And no matter where you are in life, whether you're trying to start a business or whether you're trying to get better in your relationships or whether you're just trying to get better as a person, our conversations each and every Wednesday should help you. Today, what I want to do is I want to talk with you about starting. Okay, starting. In fact, if you're watching this live, I'd like for you to put the word start in the comments below. Because this word start is the difference between you being successful and you failing. And some of you do not start because you feel like if you do start, then you're ultimately going to fail. But as Michael Jordan said, he's missed every shot that he never took. Well, the same is true in business. The same is true in life. The same is true in relationships. If you don't start, you cannot be successful. So I want to talk with you a little bit about starting now. If you're anything like me, you have a few things that keep you from starting. Okay? It may be starting a relationship, it may be starting a business. It may be starting a hobby. It may be going on vacation, it may be doing a project around the house, whatever. There are so many things that keep us back. And one of the big starting killers is a thing called perfectionism. How many of you struggle with perfectionism? How many of you say, chad, yeah, I struggle with that. And sometimes perfectionism holds me back. Some of you also may feel the crunch of time. Like, you may have time pressure. Like, where, okay, I don't have enough time to get this done or when am I going to find time to do it? So time sort of just, you know, because we don't ever feel like we have enough time, that time pressure causes us to not start. Some of us impulsivity, where we have an idea or a concept for something and we're very impulsive. We may go get the materials, we may get the idea, but it never really gets past the idea point. It never gets past impulsivity. Some of us, we're just too disorganized. Some of us, we don't start because, like, honestly, it's just chaos, right? We don't know where to start. We don't know what to do. We don't know exactly what our next step should be. We're not really organized. Some of us, we don't start because we are self monitoring. So in other words, we're our biggest critic, right? And so we just sort of know we're going to fail, we know we're going to suck or we compare ourselves to so many other people and, and we don't feel like that we can quite accomplish what they're accomplishing. So we just stop, we don't start. And so what happens is it doesn't matter whether it's one of these issues or another issue. Psychologists tell us there's typically about nine things that keep our brain in froze mode that do not allow us to take the necessary steps to start. And so what I've learned is you have to have a thing called momentum in order to bust through that perfectionism barrier, or to bust through the procrastination barrier, or to get started, you have to have momentum. And so I like to give this illustration sort of like this. If you're in a car and you want to go, you got to push the gas pedal. No offense much about it, you got to get in the car, you got to turn the key, you got to start it, you got to push the gas pedal in order for you to go. Well, in life and in relationships and in business, if you're going to accomplish what it is you're trying to accomplish, you have to get behind the wheel of that, you have to turn it on and you have to push the gas pedal and you have to go. But so many of you guys are just paralyzed. You don't know where to go. So I know that when I first got into the coaching business, one of the things that kept me from pursuing my dreams at the beginning was I just didn't know if I had any experience. I didn't know if I was going to be good. And I wasn't quite willing to risk my reputation to, to figure out whether I was any good or not. And what I learned was that in order to achieve my dream, I had to go for it. I just had to go for it. And the little phrase or the bottom line that I want to give you today is that growing always requires going. Okay? Growing always requires going. If you're going to grow your bottom line, you got to go after your dream. If you're going to grow your self worth, you got to go after it. If you're going to. If you're going to grow a relationship, you've got to go for it. Growing always requires going. You can't ever grow and stay stagnant. You can't ever grow and Backpedal. Growing always requires going. You literally have to go for it. And sometimes going forward is not the most easy thing in the world because, you know, sometimes in order to get to it, you got to go through it. You. And sometimes you. And I don't want to go through anything. So what I want to do is I want to take a couple minutes and see if I can encourage us today and see if I can help us start. Once again, just say start. Okay, I want you to start today. Okay. You need to know what procrastination is. Okay? A lot of times I'm the king procrastinator. A lot of times we sort of believe that procrastination is almost like a disease that we have. Some people have it, some people don't have it, and this disease keeps us from being successful. That's not what procrastination is. Procrastination is not an involuntary response to something. In fact, I want you to write this down. Procrastination is literally making a choice not to. To start. That's what procrastination is. Procrastination is you intentionally making a choice not to start. It's not some involuntary emotion that just overcomes you. It's you making a conscious choice. Not a subconscious choice, but a conscious choice not to start. So in order to overcome procrastination, the first thing that you have to do is you have to make a conscious choice to start. Come heck or high water, I'm going to launch it. So here's a couple things that I help my coaching clients with in order to start, and maybe this will help you. First thing is what I want you to do is I want you to put a launch date or a start date on the calendar. And I prefer that that start date be between 24 and 72 hours. You heard me right. Not next month, not October 1, not January 1, not next quarter, not next year, within 72 hours. But, Chad, hold on a second. Now you know, Come on, We're not quite ready. No, no. Within 72 hours. Throw the excuses away. Put a start date on the calendar. Make sure that start date is within 72 hours, and do something to get started. You say, well, Chad, you know what? I'm not quite ready. I don't care. You start. Do something today that you can do to help you do tomorrow what you can't do today. You may not have it all figured out, but you got something figured out. You may not have the entire game plan, but you can start and you can figure it out as you go so set a deadline, a start, launch date within the next 72 hours. Number two. And this may sound a little counterproductive, but I want you to dream small. I want you to dream small. You say, what kind of coach are you telling me to dream small? Yes, I want you to dream small. Because what happens is sometimes we dream so big that the enormous size of our dream keeps us from starting. And because we don't feel like we can accomplish all of it, we ended up not accomplishing any of it. So I want you to dream small. I want you to create yourself an instant win. Because momentum is simply forward motion fueled by a series of wins. I remember I have a buddy of mine, Dr. Bob Orr, and Bob's an old guy now, old codger, and he used to take me golfing. And I'm not the greatest golfer in the world, not the worst golfer in the world, but not the greatest golfer in the world. And he was trying to show me how to putt. And if you've ever played golf, you know that putting can be difficult. I remember we had like a 40 foot putt one time and he goes, chad, he goes, you're never going to make that. I said, why? He goes, because you're trying to make a 40 foot putt and 40 foot putts are nearly impossible to make. What I want you to do is I want you to find a spot within 4 inches of your ball of exactly where you want that ball to be 4 inches from now. Not 40ft from now, but 4 inches from now. Where do you want that ball to go? He said, the reason is, is because a 4 inch putt is nearly impossible to miss and see. So many of us, we have our eyes set on the 40 foot putt that's nearly impossible to make. And instead what we need to do is we need to find a 4 inch putt that's almost impossible to miss. And so what he taught me was if I can just line my ball up to where I want it to go four inches from now, I, I can make that. I can make that 4 inch thing. And as long as I hit it, as long as I hit that 4 inch putt, so to speak, that ball will be on the right trajectory to go where I want it to go. And now all I have to do is just judge the speed and see. So what he did was he gave me an instant win. I knew that I could hit a 4 inch spot. I wasn't sure that I could hit a 40 foot spot, but because I knew that I could hit a 4 inch spot. Then my mind shifted, my mindset shifted and I knew I could go for it. And that 40 foot putt didn't seem so, so intimidating to me because he lowered the 40 foot putt from 40ft to 4 inches. And this is what you need to do in your business. You need to learn to dream small. You need to set an immediate goal within 72 hours and do something today that you can do to help you do tomorrow. And go out and hit that 4 foot 4 inch putt. Go out and hit it. Okay. Do something today to launch your business. What does a quick win look like for you? Go out and get a quick win. So for instance, you, you may be wanting to start a coaching business and you're like, chad, I don't have it all figured out. And maybe you're trying to create websites and you're trying to create sales and marketing funnels and you're trying to create landing pages and you're trying to create emails and you're trying to create Facebook ads and you're trying to create a blog and you're trying to figure out your podcast and then you get your logo and then your brand slogan and more copy and you're like, ah, crazy. Well, that's enough to drive anybody crazy. Stop. Don't dream big, dream small and accomplish it. And then what happens is see some of us with our mindset, like we dream really big. Okay? And so like some of you, you know, you guys come to me to coach you and you want me to help you make a million dollars in your business, right? And I can, I've helped multiple people create millions, millions of dollars in their business. Okay? But some of you guys got million dollars aspirations. And then I'll ask you, well, how much money did you make in your business last year? And you're like, nothing. Okay, well guess what? If you have million dollar aspirations but you've not made anything in your business, what kind of mindset do you think you have? You don't have a million dollar mindset, no sir, no ma'. Am. You got a broke mindset. So broke minded people can't get to a million bucks on their own. So what you have to do is instead of having a million dollar aspiration, you can, you need to say, I'm going to make my first thousand dollars online or I'm going to make my first sale. So let's say I'm going to make my first sale. So I go out and I just increase my action a little bit and then what happens is When I achieve that goal, then my mindset catches up. And then, okay, I made my first sale. Now I'm going to make my first thousand dollars. And then you set a goal for 1000 bucks, and you do everything you can to do it. And then what happens is, as you take action, then your mindset catches up. Okay, great, now I'm going to hit five figures, and then you set a goal to hit five figures, and then you work your tail off, and then your action. Then you do it, and then your mindset catches up, and then you say, okay, now I'm going to get six figures, and then your mind catches up, and then eventually you hit seven figures, and then your mind catches up. See, that's what happens. Okay, you need to learn how to dream small. You've got to give yourself permission to dream small when it comes to launching businesses or when it comes to launching relationships or when it comes time for whatever. Like, if you're in the dating world or whatever and you see somebody lunch small, okay, go get ice cream, go get Starbucks, ask for a phone number, ask for a name, that type of thing, you're not getting married right now. Calm that thing down. Bring it all the way back. Launch small. Okay, maybe you are in the church world and you're trying to start a ministry and you get these big endeavors. Well, you know what? You're not Joyce Meyer. You don't have to have a thousand people in the seats, okay? Start small. Go help one person. Maybe you're trying to create a new hobby, or maybe you're trying to lose weight. You're not trying to lose £40. Stop. You're not trying to lose £40. You're trying to lose £1. Okay? You got to start and dream small. Okay, so I've been on a little bit of a weight loss journey, and I've lost about £17 now in the last month. And I set a goal for myself that I was. Was I wanted to lose one pound. I wanted the scale tomorrow to be at least £1 lighter tomorrow than it was today. Because I dreamt small. I could do everything I could to make that one pound disappear. And then I got it. And guess what that gave me. That gave me a win. And then tomorrow I did the same thing, and then it gave me a win. And so momentum is simply forward motion fueled by a series of wins. And some of you, in order to start your business and start to launch your career and sort of start a relationship, start losing weight, and whatever you're trying to do, you got to Stop thinking big, you got to start thinking small. Don't try to hit a 40 foot putt, hit a 4 inch putt, OK? And then do something today that you can do to help you do something tomorrow that you can't do today. And you will get a big, you'll get a big win. The third thing that I want you to do is when it comes time to starting and to shatter this procrastination bug is I want you to be cautious not to get caught up in busy work. One thing that I've learned over the years of managing people is that there's a lot of times some people have this mindset where they equate busyness with productivity and there's a big difference. Have you ever known people that are incredibly busy and they're always moving, always doing something and at the end of the day they never accomplish anything? Have you ever had somebody like that on your team? Of course, you're like, you just worked for seven hours, like what the heck did you do? And they're just being busy, but they're not being productive. And so what happens is when you're busy, when you just do busy work, what that does is it gives your mind an excuse to not be productive because your mind is equating busyness with productivity. But at the end of the day, you didn't do anything. So what I want you to do is I want you to make a list of everything that you have to do and then I want you to pinpoint three items on that to do list that you just have to knock out today. And I want you to remove the busyness, remove the busy work. And I want you to laser focus on doing this one thing. And I want you or these three things, I guess, and I want you to pinpoint two or three things that you can do, okay? And what happens is when you do those two or three things, your mind then has a sense of accomplishment, you get more momentum, you begin moving forward, your mindset is increased and you're gonna find productivity will follow. Okay? You have to be able to do that. Okay? And then finally, I want you to give yourself some grace. I want you to learn to give yourself some grace. I want you to be okay with not putting out something perfect. I want you to be okay with what you launch being a total disaster. I want you to be okay with you failing. And I want you to give yourself some grace. Because even if you launch something and it doesn't achieve to the heights of success that you were hoping, you still launched it and give yourself some grace, pat yourself on the back, give yourself some kind of reward. Because what we know is what's rewarded is repeated. And if you can begin rewarding yourself for the little things, you'll continue to repeat that until you find momentum. And ultimately you will find success. So remember, in order to get to it, you got to go through it. And growing always means going. So you got to get up, stop procrastinating and go after your dreams, go after that relationship, go after that business, go after that whatever it is you're trying to go after, go after health, and you will find growth. Because growing always requires going. I hope these conversations that we have with you each and every Wednesday are helpful and beneficial to you. I'd like for you to comment if you're watching this on social media, I'd like for you to comment down in the chat room below, whether you're watching it live or on replay. And I'd like for you to just simply get used to saying the word start. Just simply put the word start right in that. And then what I'd like for you to do after that is I'd like for you to tell me what it is that you're trying to start and what is your big hurdle? Like, what is your big obstacle that's keeping you from getting going? And then I'm going to go in the chat room over the next couple days and I will see if I can help you get unstuck and help you get going. Because growing always requires going. God bless.