Chris Koerner pressure-washes a 4,825 square foot Nashville house in 22 minutes flat. Two-person crew, two 1,000-foot hose rolls, bleach, and a second-story reach. The job costs about $400.
4,825 square feet
May 22, 2024 at 11:33
35 by 85 ft (Chris said this 'equals about 29,000 square foot')
22 minutes
$400
All right, here we are. We're in Nashville, Texas, aka Nash Vegas. We're going to pressure wash a 4825 square foot house in 25 minutes or less, or we're going to look like idiots and nothing in between. This is going to be great. So I've got my chip on my shoulder, in case you missed that. I'm not going to give you the address of this house because I don't want you to come knock on their door. But I did. I used my incredibly accurate size 12ft to measure the perimeter of the house. And it is 35 by 85ft, which equals about 29,000 square foot. And almost all of it has a second story, as you'll see. Let's go. I'm gonna show my watch. It's 11:33. You guys ready in the morning? May 22, 2024. I've got my chips on my shoulder. I've got my mic. Go. Let's go. I know how to turn this dang camera around. Really gotta figure out how to turn this camera around. There we go. Double tap it. There we go. Such a grandma. Still 1133. So we've got a thousand feet of hose. Two rolls of hose each. A thousand feet. We've got two guys, they're each gonna spool the hose out all the way to the street on either sides of the house and then start spraying on their way back. So right here you've got vinyl siding, and right here you've got aluminum siding. That one's not going to look so great afterwards because that's rust that you see. That one's going to look pretty dang great afterwards because that's dirt that you see. I'm not sure what the owners of this house were thinking, but it must not have ever wanted to resell it. See the second story. Oh, I think my testosterone just went up 10 points. How does it feel? I wake up every morning and I just. Nice. How many stories up can that reach? Obviously, if the wind is not. Not giving me a problem. It's been two minutes. Duck underneath. Fever. Smells like bleach. Smells like capitalism. You didn't tell me I was gonna get we. The real question is, can I do it in 25 minutes even though I keep stepping on your holes? It's all in the tip, isn't it? Okay, Look at that trigger finger. Sam Sa. Now I gotta be able to reach up in the corner up in there. I can change my nozzle. It's all in the tip. Be sure to pick A funky house, huh? That's right. Figure might as well do a difficult one. How many watchers right now are just dying to say that you missed the spot? There are a lot more. But you guys trust to let the work. So you're letting it soak first. That's right. We'll come back and we'll rinse it off. And it's just one step. One is a two step process. Okay. Hey, babe. Jesse. Wife. I hope you're not watching this because I still can't do things around the house. I can just hold a phone, You know, So, you know, for those who have doubted our ability to kind of do this, Man, look at those calves. I mean, honest, we'll be honest here for a second with each other. It's just you and I, right? I can already hear you haters now. All right, that third guy in the blue shirt, he's just a local franchise. He's not helping. He's just here to watch. Say hey. He's not helping. He's not helping. No, no. Two man team. Two man team. I'm here to spectate just like everybody else. That's right. They're jumping fences, they're crossing property lines, they're getting arrested. You got to get the job done. Oh, gosh, that technique. It looks like I got wet from the the water, but I'm actually crying right now. Capitalism is a beautiful thing. Even that baby's mesmerized. We're 10 minutes flat right now. That's it. It's up to you. Jeez, how rude. Almost really cool. And Chris has bleach on his roof. Yep. If you hang around a power washer long enough, you will get bleach on. I got lots of these shirts. Yeah. So fortunately, he has lost these shirts. And for those who say the EPA is coming after us. The epa. Just be aware that we do. All right, this the second. Pass. It. Here's a business idea for you. We're gonna open low T centers and charge. We're gonna charge 47 year old men to come work for you for free. Fix that testosterone right up. Hey, every time I'm on, there you go. Sure. Why I'm so happy back in the franchise where I'm actually able to give back a little bit the knowledge I do have. Help these guys, you know, better their companies and I mean, that's what it's really all about. Amen. It's so excited when I see some of these guys, you know, pulling, you know, 30, $40,000 first month. Like, I think it's what our founding fathers envisioned. I agree with you. So tell me about the brick. The brick is not that bad. See that white streak coming down on the brick? Yep. Even more. A different process that we would use. Enough to spray it on. We would normally do it after we wash the house anyhow. How many gallons of water you need to go through at this house? We're going to be close 900. I would say probably 450 to 5. Could be off a little bit, but we're close. I like to over rinse a little bit, but you don't want the chemical that we're using. Yeah, Rinse the top down. As you can see that. While you're rinsing down. I'm going to be rinsing down. That's right. We're at 15 minutes. Yep. Super fun fact for you. Did you know that if there were 23 people in a room, there's a 50% chance that two of them have the same birthday? Called the birthday paradox. The more you know. That's $150,000 truck right there. As tim the tool man taylor would say. At 17 minutes. I don't know why. I just want to see a creek. Like it feels like a very freak moment. All right. I just heard news today. Seems my life going to change. Well, I don't know these words. Standing on who it created a lamp with arms wide open. Oh, If you look closely in that stream of water, you can see a rainbow. Which actually signifies that the owner of this house just paid $400. Honestly. Touching. There. This guy's just watering the plants over here at this point. I'll tell you when to cut mine. It's gonna walk around. Keep it as simple as possible. Wait 20 minutes. Oo. You know what that silence sounds like? Silence sounds like a 400 invoice to me. 20 minutes. Just hit 21. Well, I guess we haven't rolled up yet. We're at 21 minutes. That's it. You should probably take a nap. Look at that form there, man. Let the young guy do like. Is that Oksana Bayul? What am I looking at here? Oh, nice. Look at that. Second Olympic rower. How many minutes? Guys? We're at 22 right now. 22 minutes. Are we done? Give me. Are we done? 22 minutes, 22 flat. Wow. 4,825 square feet in 22 minutes. How much would this job be? When? Ryan Jr. How much did we charge for this job? This was about $400. Okay, cool. So $400 in 22 minutes. I'd say. We used to do this. Yeah, we had a customer. Where we're not there. We time ourselves I think. I don't know what else to say to say at this point. Okay, actually I do know what else to say at this point. I want to talk to the random guy that gave me my only sub five star review on Apple podcasts. It was a two star review. In fact, you left a two star review because my beloved guest Aaron Harper claimed that we could pressure wash a 3,000 square foot house in 20 to 25 minutes. Well, we did a 4,825 square foot house in 22 minutes. So your revision would be much appreciated, my friend. Signing out, this is Chris Kerner of the Kerner Office, AKA MHP underscore guy on Twitter. Love you all. I can't wait. I can't wait to hear all of your comments about how we missed the spot. Yada yada yada. But actually insurance liability. Yada yada yada. We'll see you next time.
