The Lakelandist Speaks!

The Lakelandist Speaks. This is the Elevate Polk Podcast, and I'm your host, Chrissanne Long. And with me, as always, is Rob Arturi. And I am super excited to bring our guest on today's show.

As am I.

Rob, do you want to take the honor of introducing our guest?

No, I'll let you do that.

I might You might get a little too excited. So we have Joe Cruz, and for anybody listening, that might not really resonate just yet, but if you have ever read an article by the Lakelandist, you are speaking— or no, we are speaking to Joe Cruz, who is the Lakelandist. How'd I do? Is that a good— yes, exciting enough energy in my voice?

Yes.

Okay, well, I'm going to tell everybody listening that this is the most excited that I have ever seen Rob doing a podcast because he's extremely, extremely happy to meet Joe and talk about The Lakelandist.

Well, because first of all, the theme of this podcast is kind of an uplifting treatise on Polk County and where things are going, and it's optimistic and productive, but it's also fun to laugh at some stuff. You know, we're very defensive about the county. We both on a on a regular basis, spend a lot of time trying to find the good and the great around us. So it seems antithetical to this podcast to simultaneously laugh at a lot of this stuff, right?

We have to laugh at ourselves.

We do.

But I also, in a previous episode, I've talked about how self-deprecating we are as Polk Countians, and it sometimes is not— sometimes it's not to our benefit. Sometimes we, we talk down a little bit too much about, hey, I'm from Polk County. So I, I want to make sure that on the front end this, we explain that the Lakelandist is pure satire.

Yes, exactly, in the purest sense, which was that, you know, the original stated purpose of satire is to, to point things out to try to make a positive change. You know, that's always what you would— it's not like parody where you're just aping something for the laughs. It's something where you're trying to point something out in the hopes that it will change. Now, I will say, not all articles are that high caliber, real, you know, highbrow satire, but That was the intended purpose of it really, was to point out those things that everybody sort of knows about.

It's like the elephant in the room.

Yeah. Everybody knows it, but nobody wants to talk about it and they just want to gloss over it in the hopes that if they don't talk about it, it'll get better. But you sort of have to address those things to really move on.

I had a conversation with someone recently about that as far as, well, I don't want to talk badly about a situation. I don't want to be negative because I kind of have a reputation of always wanting to think about things in a positive way.

Right.

But I also believe that you do have to call it out. You have to. What is the problem? Problem. Let's talk about it. So I think it was a really creative way to do that. And you were inspired. Give us some of the background of like, how long did you think about it?

What, what? So it's one of those things. So I'm originally from the east side of Polk County, Poinciana, or basically in Osceola County, really live right next to the line. And so I didn't really have much exposure to like core Polk County, like the real, until my oldest brother went to IB in Bartow. And so as the 4th, the 5th, that was just the path. You just went to IB in Bartow. And then, and from there I met people from Lakeland and, and sort of got to know it better, which is part of where the humor comes from. Because when I was growing up, I'd never heard of Lakeland, never heard of Polk County. This is like all I knew was Tampa, Orlando, because we would, we would spend our, you know, afternoons and after school in Orlando. And so when I got to Lakeland and just like my first exposure to other students who were telling me stuff like, that Lakeland was the third biggest city in the state of Florida and like all this stuff, I was like, uh, what? Like, I've never even heard of this place before. And so, you know, and that's, that's been the running joke with my group of friends, you know, throughout this time is that especially me coming from outside and I think IB draws in a lot of those students, right? Because they were pulling— this was before they had Ridge and things like that. So they were pulling from all over Polk County. And so you got a real sense of like, oh no, Polk County is way bigger than just Bartow and Lakeland. It's, you know, Polk City and all these other far-off weird places that, you know, I never heard of. And then as it was going, and then when I turned 30, I had made a resolution that I was going to try to finally actually do something with comedy because I've always been sort of like, you know, the funny guy, but I'd never really applied myself. And so when I turned 30, I was like, okay, I'm going to do something this year. And I was born October 13th, and October 1st of my 30th year is when the Lakelandist came out. So I made it just in the cutoff.

That's awesome.

And so, you know, I'd just been collecting these little, you know, one-line things. And so eventually I just published them and put them up. And I honestly was not expecting anyone to care or notice. And then we had, I think the big thing was like Grady Judd, his office retweeted something and then it sort of blew up from there. Yeah. So what—

His office has some people who are, let's just say, like-minded.

Right.

So for what it's worth.

Well, what I love about knowing— and so I love surprises. As an adult, you know, you don't get a lot of surprises in life, right? So everybody was like really wanting to figure out who it is. Who is it? Who is it? And I was kind of just enjoying the ride. Like, I think once we know who it is, it won't be as fun because it was the mystery of not knowing. But that's what intrigued me about the stories because I understand satire. I can appreciate satire. I appreciate that it's an art in and of itself to be able to take fact and, and meld that with some sort of really cool line and, and tie that into a story. And so I just find it fascinating that The Lakelandist and the idea of The Onion was right here in Polk County. And I don't know if our audience knows anything about The Onion, but you probably were a big reader, so maybe tell them a little bit about The Onion and other satires.

Yeah, so I love The Onion. I've read The Onion since I was in high school. But basically The Onion is just— it's, you know, satirical headlines about everything that's going on. And so I think the biggest one they ever did was Kim Jong-un elected Sexiest Man by People magazine. And which is, you know, a joke. But the, you know, and it's sort of the precursor when you see like, you know, the spread of misinformation, because then North Korea actually took that and printed it out and said, look, they elected him Sexiest Man or whatever. And so But yeah, so The Onion, that's what they specialize in. But and theirs is really general. And so when I was trying to come up with something to do a comedy because I'm extremely nervous all the time, so I can't do standup or anything like that, I was like, okay, maybe I could write something. And so that was sort of the natural— this is easy, you know, I could just do this or whatever and put it out there.

Very cool.

I think, yeah, two things. I think it's easy to read some of these and think, boy, this guy's really ragging on Polk County right now. I spent in my prior career I spent time all over this county. And in fact, the area I was in the least was Lakeland. So I've seen the edges of Laughlin up there near Poinciana. Okay. I spent a lot of time out in Poinciana. I've seen those, those edges of the county. And there's a lot of character and not necessarily negative. Right. But I look at this in a little bit of a different way. To take the time and the energy and the effort into setting this up and to doing this like this. There's, you know, if you really don't love the county and you don't love this place, you wouldn't do that, right? You would just say it on the sly. Like, this is something where, you know, like, we all make fun of each other. But if anybody on the outside does.

Yeah.

You know, so if you have an 813 area code, I can talk about my mom, but nobody else can.

Exactly. Yeah, exactly. So, you know, if you had an 813 area code, but mom, I have only great things to say about you.

Just an example.

But yeah, that goes, that really goes into it. Cause when I, when the article came out with Barry where, you know, it was revealed who I was and what my motivation was, one of the things that I told to Barry that I hope really gets across is that I also really love Polk County. I grew up here. I've lived here my entire life. You know, I could have moved elsewhere, but I didn't want to. I wanted to live in Polk County next to my, friends and family and stuff like that. So, and that was one of the things because I had a lot of people basically every day I would get hundreds of submissions from people who didn't quite understand the tone of it. And that would just be something really mean. Like it would just be horribly attacking somebody that they didn't like.

Right.

And I had to try to very delicately like sort of be like, oh, that's not, that's not really what we do in terms of like, you know, that's not the focus. It's not attacking. It's supposed to be something that you saw and would laugh because in your head, you know, oh yeah, I've seen that before. It's familiar to me. I get it. Like, it's not supposed to be this thing of like, oh, now I should really hate this person or this thing that's going on.

Being a troll is easy. It's far easier than coming up with—

There's nothing creative about trolling.

No.

Period.

No.

But you know what is creative?

What?

This list of some of my favorite Lakelandism.

All right. Well, before we go into your list, I want Joe to talk about his favorite episode that he— because it's kind of the connection that Joe and I actually have. Getting started. And I don't even know if you and I have talked about how I know Joe before you know Joe, before The Lakelandist even existed.

You see, you made this like this was my episode.

It is your episode.

You pitched this.

But there's always a connection.

I was just extremely receptive to doing it.

So talk about your favorite episode and why it was your favorite.

So the first headline that I ever wrote for The Lakelandist—

I'm calling them episodes, and I'm so—

okay, I know what you mean.

This is my chance to say, by golly, I'm a dumb-dumb. So your favorite Lakelandist article.

So, so, uh, the funny thing was, just a really quick side note, and I actually had this text with my friend who's, uh, Mayor Wiggs's daughter, Kimber Wiggs, who's been my best friend now for like 20 years, um, because she was one of the people that I floated this idea with.

She's getting married. Yes, this year or next year?

Uh, I don't know. I should know, but I don't, and that's bad.

I feel like I should know too, so we'll check the date. But yeah, Kimber's getting married.

Yes, Kimber's getting married. Um, but, uh, I had texted her like, I've got all these headlines, but I'm too tired to write the articles. Do you think I can just get get away with just posting the headline. She's like, yeah, that's fine. I'm sure if it takes off, you could just add the articles later. And it's like, literally the day that it posted, people start posting, where are the articles? I just see the headline. I was like, oh. But, uh, uh, my favorite one that I ever wrote was the very first one that I wrote, which was— do you have the list there? Is it on there?

It's not on the list.

Okay, I'll have to sort of summarize it, but it was, uh, I love Lakeland, declares woman who's never been north of Memorial Boulevard. And that one, I particularly like a lot just because knowing Mayor Wiggs so well, and he is Mr. I Love Lakeland, and I love him to death. But whenever anyone says love Lakeland, they're always talking about downtown and South Lakeland, stopping at Mulberry. That is like the extent that they're willing to love.

Right. And it's a true challenge from a demographic standpoint. And there is a divide, if you will. It's not like a polarizing divide, but it is like a, well, I haven't been to North Lakeland in so long because I'm on this side of town and vice versa. So it's something that comes up a lot in conversation. And you just, like you said, you found it, you pulled it out and told the story about it. And now we're all talking about, yeah, I haven't been to North Lakeland in a long time. But it's a real thing. It is a real thing.

It's not like we're the Hatfields and the McCoys and we're going to start, you know, going after the Northsiders with pitchforks. But there is a tangible barrier.

I would love to see us roll out like, "When you're a Jet, you're a Jet all the way." Some sort of really cool—

South Side Story?

Yes!

Well, that could be the next thing for the Lakeland Writes folks, the next theater.

Oh, that's right. They have a nice play that they write, local kind of locally inspired stories.

There you go.

Check them out.

Yeah, if you're listening.

All right.

You know, give us a—

I know Wade, he's involved over there, so I will—

Yes, that's true.

I will plant that seed.

You know, it's funny, there's actually a slight backstory to that too, because I had no idea that there was a difference between the north side of Lakeland and the south side of Lakeland. But I was in a band in high school and we played with another group that I think they changed their name to Terra Terra Terra, but for a long time they were known as the north side. And I was like, what's the north side? And they're like, they're like, you know Lakeland? This is the other Lakeland. And I remember like being like, what? Like, I don't understand. And then like, gradually getting to know that, oh yeah, there's a whole other part of Lakeland I've never been to before that was, you know, had a Target. Like, you know, like there was a Target, the other Target.

Well, wait, way back in, in the day, there wasn't a Target on the south side. There was only a Target on the north side, and therefore it was the— it's the side of town that has a Target.

Wow.

I lived in Winter Haven. I don't, I don't know if I—

I don't know when they built the one on the south side, but Anyway, it was, it was, it was not back in the day, a little bit more recent.

Really?

Yeah. Um, because there wasn't always a Lakeside Village either.

Yeah, I remember that when I went in and that was a big deal because then you no longer had to schlep to the north side, right?

See all of this negative connotation about going to the north side?

Yeah.

And all of you northsiders, I love you. I think that you're all amazing and I want you to all feel welcome and part of our podcast. We are not isolating you and pushing you out, but it is true conversation that I'm sure you've all— if you could be honest, you've all had the same conversation on the other side.

Yet the storyline was the West Side Story. No switchblades in one park. None. Promise.

So that was your favorite article that you shared as the Lakelandist. Rob, you have a very long list. You might want to, for the sake of brevity—

This is the abbreviated list.

Well, I just wanted to share a few of them with people because they're funny. I think they're funny. And that's all that really matters to me.

Of course. Well, we get to be the leaders of this show. So what we want to talk about, we get to do. That's right.

But the reason I wanted to go through some of these was also to kind of get the backstory, like what was in Joe's head thinking of some of this, right? So like, if you know that Junior League building downtown, that cirrhosis building. It's like engraved in the stone.

Yes.

I went to Mayfair and we're walking around and I look at this. I said, cirrhosis, it's a horrible disease. Why do they etch it onto a building?

I mean, of all the names, you know, and I'm sure most people seeing that would probably have the same thought. And then I will take it one step further and I'll say there must be something that I don't know. So I'm just going to keep my mouth shut and not ask the question because I don't want to be stupid and say, why is that building called the Cirrhosis Building?

Maybe they did. I'm coming up with nothing. I got nothing.

Right. Well, there's a history, I'm sure. Well, we'll have to have somebody from Junior League.

We'll go with that.

Reach out and tell us exactly the history behind this.

Yeah. Leave us a comment. Why is this Cirrhosis Building?

So what was the article?

Tired of explaining the difference, junior league changes building name from cirrhosis to liver disease.

There you go. So, Joe, what were your thoughts on that one?

So I was married in the Cirrhosis Building. That's where I had my wedding.

And try explaining that to family members.

Well, that was what it came out to, because every time you would like look at someone and say, oh, it's going to be at the Cirrhosis Building, everyone would be like, ugh.

They are spelled differently.

And so a little backstory of me, my undergrad. So I work as a as a software engineer, but my undergraduate degree is in Greek and Latin. And so I know what cirrhosis is. Like, it was always clear to me what it was. But any time that you would say cirrhosis to someone, it was always like, ugh, like bad taste in your mouth. And so I know because everyone has that first reaction, that's what they must do all day long is explain to people what cirrhosis is like, like Sisterhood or whatever. They must have to just constantly. And that's what I was thinking, like, If you're really fed up with it, let's just change it to what everyone thinks it is and just get it out of the way.

Right, right. So let's, for the sake of educating the audience, let's talk about the way that the Sorosis building is spelled, the correct spelling of the disease, and what the Sorosis that is not the disease actually means, since you have that information.

Yeah, so Sorosis the building is S-O-R-O-S-I-S, which I don't know the specifics because my Latin is really bad, but I believe means sisterhood. And so it makes sense for a junior league building. I don't know.

Yeah, that makes sense.

I don't know what the, what the full backstory of the building is, but cirrhosis, the disease is C-I-R-R-H-O-S-I-S, which is totally different. Yeah. Which is the liver having to do with the liver.

So I'm taking Joe the next time I'd go to a spelling bee.

So, okay. Yeah, that, that's it. And that's what makes to me this whole thing fun because I love language. I love words. I love writing. I love all of these pieces. And now it's like the inside scoop on the story. And you had to have done some research before you did some of these, I'm sure.

Yeah. And to be honest, some of them I didn't even particularly write. Christopher Roden, I don't know if you guys are familiar with him.

Okay.

Yeah, he's an old friend from high school. We ran in the same chorus circles, but he's a really good— you know, I've reconnected with him recently and he's a really good friend of mine. And he— once he found out that I was Lakelandist, he pitched a lot of headlines and a lot of article bodies.

Shout out to Chris. Way to go, buddy. Yeah. Yeah.

He does the real radio model.

Yes. He probably doesn't listen to our show, but he's getting a shout out.

That's like putting a Coke machine in the Pepsi, you know, break room. You can't do that. I wouldn't ask him to do that.

So which one's next?

Winter Haven Holiday Boat Parade. So I lived in Winter Haven and I witnessed this boat parade through the chain interrupted by renegade Festivus kayak. Now, I am an unapologetic Seinfeld fanatic. I love that show. To this day, I still think it was the best written comedy show ever.

I would agree. My brother would probably agree too, because that's why I watched Seinfeld as a kid.

Yeah. So Festivus, it was particularly exciting because I have a story. Jerry Stiller, who played Frank Costanza found my luggage once at Newark Airport.

Really?

Yeah. Like 30 seconds, 60 seconds. So I was—

He's going off script, everybody, just so you know.

Yes.

I was flying to New York to visit family. We were late getting to the baggage claim area and I missed, you know, on the little belt. So they had all the bags lined up from my flight. So I'm looking, no bag, it's not there. So I go to a little office where you could tell them that they've lost your bag. And behind me, my father taps me on the shoulder and goes, "That's Jerry Stiller." My dad's pretty gregarious. "Hello, Mr. Stiller." So he's a, you know, "Hi." I'm a big fan of your work. My father's thinking of like Stiller and Meara with his wife. I'm thinking Seinfeld. But I got his autograph and Nice guy. Nothing like George Costanza's father, Frank Costanza. But when I was done, I'm back out looking in this sea of luggage. So here he comes. He's a tiny little guy. And he bumps into me. He says, "What's your bag look like?" I said, "Well, it's kind of like an olive drab with a brown strap." He says, "Mine is a red one, like matches this." I said, "Okay." Right?

This is how it works.

I'll help you find yours if you help me find mine.

Well, wouldn't you know? A minute later, he's all the way down the opposite end, and he says, he kind of waves and motions. I was hoping he'd do it in that Frank Costanza, you know? But he says, "Is this it?" And sure enough, it was. He found my bag.

Wow.

So, I don't know if he ever found his bag.

Now that is a claim to fame.

You had already stolen his bag and were already legging it out of the airport.

I got the story. I mean, Frank Costanza found my luggage.

That's awesome.

You know what it is? It's a Festivus miracle.

That's what it is.

That's why I love, That one.

Okay. So the Winter Haven Holiday Boat Parade is a thing.

It is.

Talk about the chain.

Yeah.

About some of that fun stuff.

You know, in Winter Haven, I actually used to live in Winter Haven, but I recently moved back to Lakeland. But yeah, the Winter Haven Boat Parade is a huge thing they do on the Chain of Lakes, and it's this big, nice festival thing where everyone like puts lights on their boats and it, and it goes around the lakes. And so we've gone maybe the past 2 or 3 years to it, really enjoyed it. But I always thought it was really, would be really funny if it was, because they always show like in James Bond movies where he like jumps on a Ski-Doo and goes through like some kind of festival that's going on. If suddenly he was just going to the Winter Haven boat parade, but trying to get that distilled down to a visual, trying to get that distilled down to a headline didn't quite work. So I just had to keep massaging it until I could get something going. But that was the original joke was just seeing like a spy thriller going like in and out of these old people's boats on the, on the channel.

Like, I'm here to air my grievances.

That could happen. I think, you know, if, if Karen and, uh, if Karen John, I think it's Johnson— Thompson. If Karen Thompson is listening, maybe we need to orchestrate that for Main Street Winter Haven. They also have this— I will help build that float.

Yeah, Chain Life.

Yeah, I will help build that float with my beer.

I'll be the skier.

Sure, you got it. You got it. I'll be George. I have the haircut for it.

I grew up on those lakes, so that's kind of a fun, like, piece of That was one of the ones that I really enjoyed too, because it was, it's a little piece of my hometown.

Yeah, I lived in Winter Haven and I had a boat and we'd go out in the chain. I loved it.

Yeah.

You know, it was, it was fun.

It is great. I, 'cause I've never been one for water 'cause I always get motion sick almost immediately. But one of our friends has a, like a pontoon boat.

Mm-hmm.

And they took us out maybe a couple years ago and it's the first time I've been on a boat in years. I had a blast. It was awesome being out on the Chain of Lakes. Yeah.

So anybody listening, make plans, find, find the way to get that on your calendar during the holiday season. 'Cause it is a fun time.

And kind of going off that same Winter Haven theme, I knew it from years in law enforcement, but there's a definite moment when you start seeing the out-of-state license plates. And everything changes in Winter Haven. Traffic completely changes overnight, seemingly. So the one of snowbirds complete migration by parking diagonally across Cypress Gardens Boulevard. That is so true. They might as well. I mean, 'cause that boulevard becomes like—

A parking lot.

Yeah.

Yeah, and this actually happened. This was not a joke that I wrote. This actually happened. Even better. We were trying to go from First Street onto Cypress Gardens Boulevard, and there was literally somebody parked diagonally and trying to get out of their car and do something. I don't know what. And people are whizzing around her and trying to honk 'em horn and everything.

And I'm like, "Oh my God." Did somebody step out and help her?

Well, it seemed like there were quite a few people few people out there trying to help her, but it didn't seem like the issue was the car. There was something else going on or something. But that, that was like something that literally happened where someone just stopped in the middle of Cypress Gardens Boulevard and just pulled up like, like, I'm done.

So as Cypress Gardens Boulevard is getting to the big curve, um, right before Lake Roy— so as you're, as you're going down Cypress Gardens Boulevard, you'll curve to the right and then you'll curve to the left and you'll go around Lake Roy— there used to be a shop. I don't remember what it was. It may have been a fan shop. There was something still there. Yeah, fans.

Yeah, fans. Fan City.

When I was a girl, we had a station wagon and my mom was parked there. And I can't imagine what we were doing at the Fan Shop. That's why I'm not sure that that's what it was, but we were doing something.

There's also an IHOP if that's—

No, it wasn't that. It wasn't the IHOP. No, it's further, it's further, uh, towards 17. But there was a slope in the parking lot. And so apparently— No, we weren't at the shop, we were driving. That's right. That's my memory is starting to come back. So someone had parked in the Fan Shop. We'll go with that. And there was a slope in the parking lot. I guess they didn't put their emergency brake on or their car was still in, in, in drive or in reverse or neutral, and it rolled down the hill and into traffic. And that was the very first car accident that I've ever been in. And we live— we, like I said, we drove a station wagon. My brother and I had our space, right? Like, we didn't like each other. We were 4 years apart. So I had my space, which was the, the bench facing backwards, but I would like to hide underneath the, the compartment when the bench was down. So what ended up happening is the compartment was up in the air, but when we got into the accident, it closed on me and I was in the little compartment there. Oh, God. And I don't know what's going on. And I'm banging on the door like my brother needs to let me out because it was just a— it was just a fender bender. I mean, it wasn't a horrible accident, thank goodness. But it's a memory that will never leave my mind because somebody sort of parallel parked on Cypress Gardens Boulevard.

That's like the Naked Gun. You just a little tap here and fall in, then closes. Next thing you know, there's a cement mixer dumping in the car.

Right.

God, that's terrifying. I'm so sorry.

Scary.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Wow.

I almost feel bad for putting that one in, but I'm over it now. And I had to put this one in because I used to work for the guy and—

We're going to have him on the show.

Yeah. Yes. Coming up soon. Buoyed by Ron DeSantis, Grady Judd, Florida rises to the most press conferences per capita. Yeah, yeah, that's—

go ahead. So I was gonna say, the origin for that one is actually, uh, is actually kind of— is funny because that one was one of the very last ones that I did, and it was actually because by the time, uh, The Lakeness rolled around, a lot of the people from The Ledger, a lot of journalists and stuff, had really liked it and had been sharing it. And so I've gotten to know a couple of them, not, not very well, just through social media and stuff. So I thought, I'm gonna write one that's gonna be funny for them. Because like following their social media, like every week was like, all right, going to Ron DeSantis press conference in the Villages or going to Grady J press conference in Eastern Polk County. I was like, is this all they do? Like all day long is just put on these press conferences.

Yep.

Cause it's like, and also you see like all of the graphics that get produced for them. I'm like, this must be just like some—

A lot of work. That's a full-time job.

Yeah. Somebody's gotta be a full-time job just printing out graphics for these, for these press conferences.

It is. He's a good friend of mine.

But well, and you know that the joke, I mean, you can't talk about this and come so close to it and not tell the joke, which is the most dangerous place in Polk County is the space between Grady Judd and the video camera.

Now, let me qualify that. That joke was told for years at every single promotional ceremony at the sheriff's office. It's been said multiple times in front of the sheriff. He does not— He's not shy about it. He doesn't, which kind of illustrates the whole point of all of this, right? Like, he laughs about it.

Right. He has a good sense of humor about himself.

He does.

As a sheriff.

He also has a good reason for doing those press conferences too. And it's his style to be completely open, transparent, and he wants everybody to know everything. Now, he may take that to the nth, but that's the reason for it. So he really doesn't care. He's not insulted in the least. And it's not an embarrassing thing.

But it's a funny joke.

It is, very funny.

Made, to me, funnier by the fact that he finds it humorous as well.

Oh, yes.

It's not offensive. So you can say it freely and laugh and joke and have a good time because he's not gonna catch wind that you said it right, come and hunt you down.

And that was one of the things, uh, you know, because I did address, you know, not a ton, but a few political figures and people in the community, and I never wanted it to come across as being critical of them. It was always a joke about something involving their persona, their public persona, right? Because I didn't really want to get into the politics of it, A, because to be honest, I don't really follow politics all that much, so I would sound like a dullard trying to talk about it, but, and having a point. But, uh, it was one of those things where I didn't want it to instantly become you know, someone not being able to enjoy it because they disagree with my politics on it. Because, right, you know, it's one of those things that was supposed to be— it wasn't supposed to be about that. It was supposed to be about the jokes about, right?

Like, it kind of goes into cultural sensitivity, right? We have a culture in Polk County. We don't want to necessarily poke fun at Polk County, right, to a point where people are offended.

Yeah, exactly. And so like, there was a joke about Neil Combee, which did not go over very well, but it wasn't, it wasn't a joke about him. It was a joke about the fact that so much time and energy was being spent on the debate of whether to remove his name from the administration building?

I remember that one.

So it was like— it wasn't the joke about Neil because I know nothing about Neil Comey. I've never met him or anything, but it was just the joke about how much energy was being put into this argument back and forth whether to take his name off.

Yeah.

So there's a couple of Grady Judds, and it was one of those things where I'm like, once they started retweeting them, all right, he's game. I can just make fun of his public persona.

He's okay.

They're not going to break through my glass window and start taking me down.

They're not researching my IP address to figure out who I am!

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Grady's got an A pretty thick skin when it comes to that sort of stuff. And I like your attitude about the political side of things. You should probably teach a class to every late night host. Because I'm a big fan of comedy and politics. I'm also a big fan of politics, but I don't think the two things have anything to do with one another. And they're better when they're not.

Right.

You know, my favorite comedians are apolitical. I don't care what their personal politics is, but it's better that way.

Well, and I find generally like that kind of stuff is usually like a smokescreen for weak jokes. Like anytime when you have to fall back to people are different as the joke is the worst kind of joke. Cause you're not really saying anything. People have been making those jokes since the beginning of time. So if you're going to try to do something new, don't just point out that people are different because people are different. It's always been that way. And there's not really a lot to be mined from that. So in terms of like, you know, if that's the joke you want to make, I think you need to— that's me saying as an amateur comedian who's never done anything, any kind of comedy. Well, but you're right. You're right.

I mean, you may not be a seasoned comedian, but your premise is right.

And you've done some research on comedy because you have a passion for it. So sometimes being a teacher is as good as or better than actually being the person doing the show.

Yeah. People have done political cartoons and lampooned political figures for a long time, and then it morphed into making fun of people who voted for those people. That's the line that you really shouldn't cross. In your comedy, it's, "I'm poking fun at the different elements of living here, but not really the people who live here." Right. And to me, that's how I— the note that I had was, edgy, you know, sometimes a little controversial, but not, not malicious, right?

Yeah. I never wanted to be malicious. That was always the thing.

So let me, let me do one more because it actually has some significant meaning in my world. So this is going to shout out for my hubby, Craig. The Mulberry man can't decide between gray and black cargo shorts for his wedding day. Craig and I got married in April and full-on Craig style was his shorts. And it's funny because we were going somewhere recently and it was, it was semi-formal, but it wasn't really something. And one of the, one of our friends called, was like, hey, you know, we're going to do this, we're going to do that, whatever. Is Craig wearing shorts? And I was like, no, he's actually wearing slacks. This is gonna be a little bit more formal than our wedding.

I love the Hosking style. He always looks like he could— you could just take him anywhere, drop him into a nice tiki bar.

Yep, he's ready.

He'd blend in.

He'd be happy with that.

It's marvelous. I mean, he could be like the James Bond of the Caribbean.

Talk about not putting on airs. That man is just— he is who he is who he is. And that's what I love about him. Absolutely. So love you, babe.

Nice.

And he has a nice tan.

I actually have a funny— sorry, I have a really funny story about that article. So that one was because I used to live near Mulberry and would go to like the holiday parade and see people wearing— everybody wearing cargo shorts. But so in the article, I always try to come up with a fake name to have a character. And there was— I just picked a random fake name, like from a generator, fake name generator. Yeah. Just put it in. And like literally the second comment on the article was somebody with that name from Mulberry.

No way.

Being like, And someone sent it to them and he was like, "Yeah, so what?" I just remember laughing hysterically that I had managed somehow to pick someone from Mulberry with that name who wore cargo shorts all the time. Wow.

Now, given the total population of Mulberry, did you play the lottery?

Did you go play the lottery that day?

Yeah, right? Or did you buy a scratch-off, or as I like to call them, the Polk County IRA?

So I think we could do this all day. We could have been super fun. This has been— I'm glad we did this episode and it was sort of my idea, but it's actually— it was Joe's idea. Then I had to pitch it to Rob because, you know, that took 10 seconds. He's like, yes. But I do want to ask a couple of questions. So the first question is, is there a chance of a revival of The Lakelandist?

I could say definitively no.

Okay.

So it's definitely over. I had a couple offers. Of other people wanting to take it over. But I felt a little funny about that for some reason. I don't know. I kind of just wanted to keep it for posterity's sake about this, like, cool thing that happened in 2018 or 2019.

Right. You'll be like in the time capsule.

Right, exactly. Yeah. Remember when? Yeah, I remember 2018.

And are the articles still published online somewhere that people can read if they're interested in learning what we're— what the heck are we talking about?

Yes. So the Twitter is no longer there. The Lakeland— the original Lakelandist Twitter, but the website, the Lakelandist is still up and running. So you can always go back and see old ones.

Awesome.

That are there.

And then I think what we'll do in the show notes is maybe reference a couple of the articles we mentioned and, you know, do a little link back to the links.

Definitely check it out because there's, there's a lot more. I had to decide.

Well, how long did you actually do it?

So I did it for like in before I gave it like a semi-permanent rest, it was 30 days. So it was October to November.

Okay, and that was it.

Yeah, that was it.

All of that in a month.

Wow.

Yeah, at one point towards the end, I was doing 3 a day was the amount that I had paced, but then was like, I can't, I can't keep doing this, this is crazy, right?

So even if there were a sponsor or something?

Yeah, no, and I think a big part of that was— so I would say 99% of the people in Polk County got it and were very supportive and super nice, um, but there was that 1% that sort of sent nasty things when I was anonymous, and then they sort of picked up again when it came out what my identity was. So I don't really have a lot of—

So that's a perfect reason to kind of pass it on to the, to like the Masked Ranger, right? And so, so I'm gonna— we'll talk about this off the show, but I'm just gonna say I have this idea brewing in my mind after this conversation. Well, maybe it was before, but, um, where, where to protect the anonymity of the Lakelandist, it could kind of pass on. Like, it could be like a— you have to meet a certain criteria of some sort. We have to get some writing samples and make sure you can decently put some words together, right? But then as soon as the identity of the Lakelandist is discovered— or maybe we change it to the Polkist or whatever, but the Polkist, that sounds like the best accordion player that you've ever seen.

Joe Cruz stole my joke.

Well, it was in here in the show notes, so I had to say it. But But then it could pass on forever, or as long as it wanted to. It's kind of like the plate that you make a cake on and you hand it off to somebody and then they have to make a cake and pass it off to the next person.

Can I make a non-cake baking analogy?

Sure.

Joe, have you ever seen The Princess Bride?

Of course, the Dread Pirate Roberts.

See, see, Joe and I are simpatico.

We don't need to hash it out because Joe says it's not going to happen, but we're going to talk about it after the show and maybe we'll arm wrestle him for it.

We're going to take Joe to the yard en masse.

And I think it's important to mention the reason behind it is, is there's a negativity that comes with having, you know, some sort of an online presence that people start to listen to and hear. And the lack of understanding and the lack of education behind what, what this purpose is, is a reason why it didn't become fun. It wasn't fun anymore. And when you lose the fun and the reason why you did it is kind of taken away from people who don't quite understand aren't willing to even take a second to think about it beyond just like, this is dumb, or I don't agree, or you're, you're, you're insulting me. It does cause there to be no sustainable opportunity for, for creatives to carry on something that's fun for so many people. So maybe if we, if we make a point of realizing that, you know, as Polk Countians, we can also do a better job of celebrating art and celebrating creativity and new ways of bringing out ideas we could make it a lot more fun for everyone.

Well, you need a scaffold, right? You need, you need a framework because those trolls are there. They've always been there. They're always going to be there no matter what you do. There will always be some naysayer. And for a variety of reasons, maybe they don't get it. Maybe they're jealous. Maybe they're just miserable, you know, souls sitting at home in front of a computer that would never dare say this to you in front of your face. Right.

Right. But you need a buffer between between you and the angry public.

Right, right. But I, you know, so much of why we do this show is to talk about all of the great things that are going on. And it's, you know, you want to have a little fun along the way too. You know, there's a lot of serious, great things that are happening. And we can laugh a little bit along the way. And we can poke fun of kind of where we came from too. Right, right.

And then we can also identify ways we can be better and not at the expense of others, you know, not stepping on others and also not taking away from what someone— so we just celebrate your creativity, that you brought something fun, even if it was a short-lived project. Um, and I celebrate, you know, the opportunity that we were able to have you here today. And congratulations. I'm going to do a plug for a friend of mine because Joe just got a brand new position at QGIVE as a software developer at QGIVE, which is a locally run software development program that serves nonprofits all over the country. So I'm giving a free plug to my friends at QGIVE because the Lakelandist was so generous in being on our show today.

Yeah, what kind of a lousy person do you have to be to troll somebody whose job is it to write software for a charity company?

Right.

You know, you're just a bad human. Sorry.

No judgment.

Go Lakelandist.

Go Lakelandist. Hashtag go Lakelandist.

Hashtag Polkist.

So I'm going to wrap up if you guys don't have anything else to add at the end here.

Joe, thank you.

Yeah, thank you for having me on. It's been wonderful.

This has been really fun. Thanks for listening and make sure to subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts and don't forget to leave us a review. You can find all of our episodes at elevatepolk.com. And if there's something specific or someone specific you want to hear from on our show, reach out to us on Facebook at Elevate Polk.