The Show About Nothing

The show about nothing. This is the Elevate Polk Podcast, and I'm your host, Chrissanne Long. And with me, as always, is Rob Ourturi, the guy who knows a lot about nothing.

The introduction of all introductions.

Yep. Well, thank you. This is the show about nothing, and I'm excited because I have a lot of things to talk about.

Yeah, this is the perfect hodgepodge, kind of a shorter episode about a bunch of little different things that didn't quite fit into one overarching theme of an episode. So we'll see, maybe it'll be great, maybe it'll be awful, which case—

I want to start by asking you, what are you reading right now?

At the moment, or like, am I reading a book?

Are you reading a book? What book are you reading?

Uh, I'm, I'm reading one that I've read multiple times, but it's kind of like my, my go-to.

Everything you need to know you learned in kindergarten?

Uh, it's called Free to Choose by Milton Friedman.

Okay.

And it is a basically a modern treatise on economics that talks about how a lot of things work in around the world and economy and the price system and capitalism. All good stuff. Really, really boring stuff if you're not into it.

So yeah, I can't wait to pick that one up. It's on my list now. Thank you for sharing. For those of you who can't tell via podcast, that is sarcasm dripping, dripping with sarcasm. So I was asked this question this week and it was funny because I had to answer what book I was reading. Or what the most recent book I'd read, or the book I had read this month. But I also needed to answer a fiction and a nonfiction. So the nonfiction's easy. I don't— and then that's when I was like, oh man, I used to be like a book— I mean, as we know, talked about that before, right? But I used to have like piles of fiction that I would read, and I just realized since I've become an entrepreneur, I just am a nonfiction reader pretty much these days. Me too.

Me too.

But I'm lucky because I have friends and those friends are looking out for me. And so this is a shout out to Teresa O'Brien from Help Her because she's helping me by providing me with recommendations for fiction novels. And she even dropped one off in my office. So I was able to answer the question that I'm reading a fiction novel called Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman. And it is one of those Reese Witherspoon book club books. Okay. So I'm super excited about it. And I just thought that maybe everybody else should know that I'm reading a fiction novel and this is exciting.

Should we call it a breakthrough?

It's maybe a re-breakthrough. It's like going back in time. Reading for the pleasure of it instead of the knowledge, uh, that I would be gleaning. So patting myself on— this is me patting myself on the back. I had to do it really hard so you could hear it.

Well, thank you.

I think that you said this was a podcast, the show about nothing, but there's a lot of really important things we're gonna be talking about, like the book I'm reading.

Yes. I'm sure the audience is absolutely riveted by it, but yes.

Yes.

As much about my reading material either. I think we, if we can agree to one thing in this episode, it's that nobody is probably going to read either of those two books.

Oh, baloney! This is soon to be a major motion picture, so you heard it first here, Mr. Arturi. All right, you're gonna— you might not read the book, but you will watch the movie.

The book that I'm reading was made into a 13-part miniseries on PBS circa 1980, '81, so beat you to it.

Yeah, you did.

All right, so, um, in the—

so what's trending? What's trending in social media today? What are you, uh, what are you What are you looking at? What are you noticing? I will tell you my, my, uh, the most, uh, meaningful, memorable post of the weekend, but you go first.

Uh, no, no, please. Cause I think we both have the same one in mind cause we both commented on it.

Well, no, you gotta find something else. You can't talk about the one that I'm gonna talk about.

I posted on it too. You can't claim the post.

I started it. I, I brought it up.

You planted the Chrissanne flag in the, in that post.

Ah. All right. So everyone who's listening probably knows, um, that we have, that I've, with the, I'm the founder of the Bridge Local Public Forum and it's a business-related dialogue that a lot of people ask business-related questions, but also, you know, non-business-related questions. Um, so it's often a hodgepodge of a lot of different things based on the needs of 10,000 different people. We have, we hit 10,000 this month. Um, wow. Just FYI. I don't know if you knew that. So I didn't.

That's awesome.

Um, so someone posted, and we have moderators that make sure that things don't, like inappropriate things don't get put through. And, um, so I started getting notifications and, and, um, like comments that were starting to, to say that this was a popular post. And I'm like, what's going on? And it was, there were jokes and it was funny. And I'm like, what, how did this get through? So the actual post was that there was a, a person looking for quotes for STDs. And I literally thought, okay, how did this get through the moderators? Why are we having this conversation? And I literally had no idea what this person was actually asking for. And of course you and a few others went in the actual direction of finding quotes about STDs.

I'm nothing if not a contrarian.

So for anyone listening who's still wondering what the heck is the post actually about, it's short-term disability. The person was looking for short-term disability quotes, but got a whole lot of extra things that he wasn't bargaining for when he asked for that question. Hmm.

Yes.

What was your favorite comment on the thread? I got to— I got to ask you.

Oh, God, I have to go back and look at it. But just the whole thing in general, because it started out innocently enough. You know, it was a legitimate post. It was about insurance. And they started talking about STDs. And I guess overall, the funniest part about it to me was that it doesn't really matter how old you get, there are certain triggers in life that reduce grown intellectual adults to middle school children. And apparently a post that mentions STDs is one of those things.

Apparently, yes. And, you know, it was funny because I, being the founder of the group, I'm trying to figure out how do I handle this? You know, how do I make sure that I actually show that I do have a sense of humor? Because once I figured it out, I thought it was hysterical. But when I thought that someone was coming in and trying to ask questions that were really inappropriate, I'm like all stern with my mean teacher face, trying to figure out how you know, to nip it in the bud. And, you know, then I'm just laughing hysterically at all the comments and the different things that people thought that they would share. So I just—

can I just interrupt you for one second? And I want to thank you for using the correct idiom. And that's idiom, not idiot.

Oh, did I say nip it in the butt instead of bud?

No, you said bud.

Okay.

But I don't know what it is, but those things drive me insane. There are so many idioms out there that people use incorrectly, and it drives me insane. It's the little things that bother me. I can get along with pretty much anybody. I'm very easygoing, but I have weird triggers. Um, and those, those are, uh, yeah, nip it in the butt, uh, for all intensive purposes. Intensive purposes, that's the one that I mean. That, that makes me— my eye twitch.

Yeah, that one's, that one's a struggle for me too.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So anyway, well, what about, what about I could care less?

Oh, right.

I'm like, I could care less. Well, then why don't you just care less?

Right?

Those are the— sometimes I mean, I am kind of snarky sometimes. The things that bother me, I do have thoughts that go through my head that I should not say, and I don't. I have you know, I practice, uh, control, self-control. Um, another— oh, another one that grates on my nerves, it always makes me smirk, is it's a mute point instead of it's a moot point. Yeah, man, we should do a— we should do a, uh, um, an episode about idioms.

Okay, well, this is the episode about nothing. We could make it somewhat about idioms.

Uh, you know, it's also in the way things are written too, like not always spoken idioms, but When someone says it piqued my interest, it's pronounced the same. It's piqued. It's, you know, it's P-I-Q-U-E-D is how it's supposed to be spelled. But if it peaked, like, you know, like a mountain peak, and I could understand where the confusion would lie. But again, if you are using it properly in the written form, you should probably do it correctly.

You would think. You would think. I think we've been ruined by spelling and grammar check.

Yeah. And then some of those things find their way through because there isn't somebody who's— there's no idiom check. Somebody needs to create software that can give you the correct idiom when you're trying to write, you know, wet your appetite.

Yes, yes, exactly. I know. So we did have the idea of doing some more trivia, although there's only so much Polk County trivia to go around. But, uh, I did have some, just a couple, uh, or one question I thought that was interesting to see, uh, because you know how I love trivia.

I mean, I love trivia, but not necessarily trivia that I don't have the answers for.

Well, that's what makes it trivia, otherwise it's an encyclopedia.

Okay, but just take it easy on me. Make sure you ask questions that I actually have a chance of answering properly.

Okay. All right. So in honor of the hurricane season and our first near miss—

and do you know how to pronounce that one?

Near miss?

No, the name of the hurricane we just had a near miss with.

Wasn't it Iglesias? What was it?

Iglesias? That's church. No, it's Isaías.

Isaías? Isaías.

That's how you would pronounce it.

Isn't that that berry they make smoothies with?

No, that's acai. How do you say that one? Acai?

Açaí.

Açaí. See, I've never pronounced that one out loud. I've only just seen it at the grocery store.

So I know my smoothies and you know your hurricanes. Together we can accomplish anything. Chrissanne?

Well, what I found interesting about Isaías is that every single article I read about it, it gave me the pronunciation.

It's phonetic, just so you can know what you're yelling about, complaining about.

Yeah, but it's a hard one. I mean, could you imagine if you're a child and your name is Isaías? Like, e-sa-ee-yas. That's a 4-syllable word with like name with only like 5 letters. E-I-S-I-A-S. Yeah. 4 syllables, 5 letters.

Yeah, that is, uh, that's a tough one.

Um, well, irregardless of that fact.

Oh God, that's the one I really wanted to say and I couldn't think of it. Oh, yeah, yeah, that.

Trust me, I would never say that other than just to make a joke. It is regardless of the fact that you now have children, we need to— the show must go on.

That or in agreeance.

Oh, yeah.

Now I did look up, I think that they made that a word. Now, if you look up, that's actually a word.

Agreeance.

Agreeance. Hmm, because I was going to call somebody out for it, and then I fact-checked myself, and I was like, wait a minute, what is this? Now, I don't know if it's just some, you know, obscure dictionary or something. It's in Webster's, but not, you know, one of the other ones. But, uh, yeah, apparently you can say that. It's just like cancelled with one L versus two L's. It looked weird, but apparently it's like British versus—

right, yep, yep.

So anyway, all right, so Here, in honor of hurricane season, we're going to, uh, have a couple questions about hurricanes. Okay? Okay. And some of them I'll make multiple choice for you. See?

Do I need, do I need to have like some sort of meteorology background to answer any of these questions?

No, no, no.

Okay. No, no.

Okay. So in the Atlantic and Eastern Pacific, a hurricane is called a hurricane. Outside of Asia and pretty much the rest of the world, they're called cyclones. But in Asia, hurricanes or cyclones are referred to as what?

Typhoons?

Ding, ding, ding. Very good.

I got it right?

Yeah. Very good.

Hey, this is me patting myself on the back again. Two pats on the back in one show.

Awesome. So, yeah, you're right. Very good. Very good. It is a typhoon in the northwest Pacific. South Pacific and everywhere else are cyclones. And then the Atlantic and part of the Pacific.

But ultimately, from a meteorological standpoint, they're the exact same thing. Is there a difference? Nope. Huh.

Exactly the same. Anyway, next up, what percentage of hurricanes hit our great state of Florida? Is it A, 20%, B, 40%, or C, 60%?

Okay, so I need some— I have to ask some clarifying questions here.

Okay.

To understand it. Okay, so of all of the hurricanes and all of the land annually.

This is what we're referring to, all of the hurricanes in America, not around, because I mean, they're still—

we're not counting typhoons and we're not— okay, um, so United States area hurricanes, how many of them hit Florida, right, annually?

Uh, yeah, I mean, I guess it's a running average, but yeah, what percentage?

Gosh, I'd say 20% sounds low and 60% sounds high, so why don't I just go in the middle and say 40?

I'm really not good at this. I should have seen that coming. Anybody with a little bit of test-taking ability could see right through that one.

Always pick C, except when there's only an A, B, and a C, always pick B.

All right, I will start. Randomizing the choices a bit better here. Okay. Of all of the things that people complain about with respect to hurricanes and how they should be handled and disaster and everything else, what is the most ridiculous thing that people ask the government to do when a hurricane is coming?

People ask the government to do when a hurricane is coming. So in advance of the hurricane arriving, right, people are asking the government to make the, uh, suspend tax, uh, sales tax.

Nope, nope, nope, nope. That would be, that would be rather reasonable compared— no, the most Ridiculous thing is people asked, uh, they write letters to the government asking them to drop a nuclear weapon in the hurricane to blast the hurricane apart. I guess that would work.

I, wow. That's like, that's something that like a lot of people write this letter to the government asking them to drop a nuclear, well, weapon into a hurricane or just like that was the one most ridiculous, crazy thing someone's ever asked.

Well, so from my understanding in researching this, it is not like one time that somebody has done this, but it's actually the most common ridiculous request people write to the government and ask them to do. I'm actually just kind of impressed that somebody read this enough to where it made its way into actual trivia somewhere. Like there's actually somebody that's opening those letters hand going, all right, what do they want? Well, suspend taxes. Okay, we'll put that in this pile.

Uh, well, when, when thermonuclear weapons— when it's hurricane season, Santa isn't working, so he probably has the time to open those letters.

So what you're saying is Santa is on the US government payroll?

Maybe.

Well, considering all the things that are on the US government's payroll, I, I'm not in a position to deny it.

So, well, Um, you've seen A Miracle on, um, Miracle on 34th Street, right?

Yes. Yes.

Okay, so in a court of law, it was proven that Santa was real.

Well, the court of law also acquitted O.J. Simpson, so I mean, my faith in the judicial system is, you know, you take it with a grain of salt, Chrissanne. There's a lot of, there's a lot of gray area, and, uh, you know, so that's That's all I'm gonna say about that.

Well, since we're on the topic of The Miracle on 34th Street, which one is your favorite? Would you say the 1947 version, the original, or would you say the one that they did the remake in like the '90s or early 2000s?

No, I'm not a fan of remakes. I don't like— I don't really like them. I would have to say it'd be the original with Jimmy Stewart, right?

That was the No, it wasn't Jimmy Stewart.

Oh, what am I thinking of then?

You're thinking of—

Oh, I'm thinking of It's a Wonderful Life.

It's a Wonderful Life, yeah.

My bad, sorry. No, you know what? I don't know if I ever have seen Miracle on 34th Street.

Oh my goodness. That is— I don't think we can be friends.

That's what did it?

I think that we are going to have to postpone our friendship until you have been able to watch Miracle on 34th Street, the one with Natalie Wood. And I do like the one with Moira. I can't think of the actress's last name.

Tierney.

Tierney.

Is that NewsRadio? Was she on that show NewsRadio?

I don't know. I don't know what her name is. Mara. Mara is her name, not Moira. Mara Wilson.

Oh, then no. Okay. Not the same person. I don't know a lot of Maras either.

So anyway, yeah, definitely Natalie Wood all day long.

Okay. All right. Well, we're on a pause. We can probably get through the podcast and I won't speak to you again until I've watched, uh, do I have to watch both versions or just the Natalie Wood one? All right. All right. All right. I think, uh, I think I can manage.

So, okay. All right.

All right.

We'll be okay. So to all of you listening, if you don't hear us next Wednesday, Cause you didn't watch the damn movie. That he didn't watch the movie. Cause I am a woman of my word.

This is preposterous. Of all the things.

And then I'll ask you trivia questions about the movie to make sure that you watched it.

I will be, if you wanna get together later, folks, I will be at Books-A-Million. And Lakeside Village getting the CliffsNotes on, uh, the Miracle.

It's actually a really good movie and you and your, your, your young lads would enjoy it. So if they can get past the black and white part, because I know a lot of kids these days don't really want to watch black and white movies. Yeah.

Um, I, I, have you ever tried to get through anything with 3 young kids around? I mean, We've tried to watch like a marching band go by and one of them will get bored and start wandering off looking for peanuts or popcorn. So, you know, I'll do my best.

Okay.

But, you know, no promises. Can you give me a little bit longer just to, you know—

Maybe.

All right.

Maybe. You'll have to give me a good excuse.

All right. I'll submit my requests in writing.

All right. All right. So next trivia question.

All right, I'm gonna give you some easier ones. Okay. So, okay. What is the name of the prehistoric town where the Flintstones lived?

Oh, oh, man. Where did Barney Rubble live? Where did Fred and Wilma live? Um, Bam Bam, where were you? What, what's on your birth certificate, Bam Bam? Uh, I don't know, I can't think. You had me on hurricanes and now you're asking me about the Flintstones.

Well, you got all the hurricane ones right. I had to change it up. Haven't you ever seen Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? And rest in peace Regis Philbin, but, uh, you know, you, dude, if you start answering questions right, you You zig, they zag. They gotta get ya. So we had to move on from hurricanes. I see. You've been living in this state your entire life, so sorry, you have an advantage. All right, so—

So what is the answer?

Oh, I'm sorry, bedrock.

Duh! How could I not think of that?

Yep.

Well, you should have asked me what cartoon the restaurant Bedrock Wings was, you know, based its name on, then I would have known it was The Flintstones. The local Polk County trivia— this is Polk County here— we have a Bedrock Wings. Rick Fisher has two. He's one on Edgewood and one in Bartow. One on Edgewood here in Lakeland and one in Bartow. So, um, he's been a long time restaurateur, and, um, shout out to Bedrocks.

And also the name of the Flintstones, uh, where the Flintstones reside. Okay, you should see the look on my face, but I can't because this is audio only. Sorry folks, you'll have to use your imagination. Uh, okay, in the state of Michigan, it is illegal to chain what to a fire hydrant?

All right. This is the Elevate Polk County, Florida podcast, Rob. Why are we talking about laws in Michigan?

Because I said we had to take a break. We exhausted Polk County trivia.

But our audience doesn't need to know anything about Michigan. They want to know about Polk County. That's why they're listening.

There is a tie-in to Polk County. You just have to go with it. Just trust me.

Go with it.

Trust me.

Okay. All right. I'm going with it. All right. Read me the question again. You lost me at Michigan.

In Michigan, it is illegal to chain what to a fire hydrant?

It is illegal to chain an orange tree to a fire hydrant.

Not a bad guess. Not a bad guess. I don't know the logistics behind chaining an orange tree, but I will say that the actual answer is chaining an an alligator.

Oh, hmm. That's a, like, written law in Michigan, the entire state?

Well, okay, so there's— I have a whole bunch of trivia on obscure and silly laws. Okay, so in the state of Florida, apparently it's illegal for single women to go skydiving on a Sunday. Now, um, with a background in law enforcement, I always found these things particularly funny because I could never find them in the abbreviated criminal statute book. That cops are given.

Right.

But apparently in, you know, if you ever see a, uh, like if you're in a lawyer's office, they have all those books. And what those are basically sets of the full state statutes. And what the cops get is basically a digest version of criminal laws. But I never found those obscure laws in that book. But apparently they're in there in that bigger book because sometimes they make laws that kind of supersede, but they never take old laws off the books. That's why that stack of books on the lawyer's shelf never gets smaller and only gets bigger. And there are a whole bunch of these unenforced, essentially moot— not mute, moot— laws that, that exist everywhere. And apparently in Florida, you can't go skydiving as a single woman. Well, you're married now, so you're free to go. But single women cannot go skydiving on a Sunday and you cannot chain an alligator to a hydrant in Michigan.

That's fascinating.

Side note, because you scolded me, I will say I don't believe that it is legal to chain anything to a fire hydrant in the state of Florida or Polk County anyway, alligators or otherwise. So, you know, the moral of this trivia question is don't chain things to fire hydrants. It's probably not safe.

That's a good idea. I like— I like that we're learning things on this podcast. What's your next one?

In Massachusetts—

what?

No, I'm just kidding. I'm kidding. I'm not going to do that to you. What does the average adult do 22 times a day?

The average adult, 22 times a day. Well, if it's during COVID it's probably more frequent than that, right?

I don't know where you're going with this, but this is a family show. I'm not sure.

I was going to say sigh deeply. So I sigh a lot more now than I normally do. So is it sighing deeply?

No, no, it is not. The answer is opening the refrigerator.

Oh, you definitely do that more during COVID too.

Yeah. So technically your, yeah, your, your answer would be accurate.

Okay.

Um, all right. Since we like to talk about business stuff, I'm gonna go to the business trivia section, right? All right. How much was the first 3 minutes of a call? How much did it cost when commercial phone service came out to make a call for 3 minutes from New York to London? Back in 1927? I'll make this multiple choice.

Hmm, this is a good question. I'm curious. I want to know the answer.

That's— we're here to inform and inspire with just useless information. Um, we have— I apologize in advance, this is the kind of stuff that Chrissanne Long and I like, and if you don't, I apologize. Um, but all right, A, $10. B, A, $1. Ooh. C, $100. Or D, $75.

All right, so in the '20s, $10 was a lot of money. So, and I mean, a dollar was a lot more than it is now. So, hmm, I don't think it's $100 or $75. I think that would be like, No, but maybe only the people who could afford it would call New York and— or call London from New York. Gosh, I'm stumped. What is the answer, Rob?

You can't— it's a multiple choice. You have a 25% chance of getting it right on a crapshoot. Just guess one of them.

Okay, I'm going to say $10.

No, the answer was $75.

What? Yeah. Holy smokes. For a 3-minute phone call.

Yep.

How much does it cost today?

I don't know. Do people even pay for long-distance calls anymore?

I think international calling may be a part of your plan, but if it's not and you try and call, does it still connect you and charge you? I don't know.

Well, like, I have a— everybody just uses WhatsApp now, you know? I mean, I have a friend in Mexico I talk to. Same thing. Like, we just talk on WhatsApp. Over the internet.

Right, right, right.

I don't know.

Well, if you're listening and you don't know what WhatsApp is and you wanna call London, I can hook you up. Maybe you should, maybe you should call Rob and he can, he can hook it up.

You can reach me at WhatsApp.

Um, all right. So, so while you were asking that question, I pulled up some stupid laws and I just thought that this one was really, really ridiculous. Um, did you know that in Indiana it's illegal for a liquor store to sell cold Soft drinks, folks.

Do you remember if you were listening just a few minutes ago, a certain co-host being admonished for a non-Polk County related trivia question? I just wanted to reiterate that and, uh, you know, just remind everybody of that. But I'm, I'm sorry, Chrissanne Long, what were you saying now?

What state is this?

Indiana?

Bah humbug.

No, that was Scrooge. That one I've seen. Or A Christmas Carol. I was in both.

So I don't know if you know this, but I think it's in since, um, shoot, since maybe the la— in the last 20 years. And I don't know the, the actual year that it was removed from the Lakeland City of Lakeland. Um, laws, but it was illegal to spit on the sidewalk until, I want to say, maybe even less than 10 years ago.

Well, I'm pretty sure that in the, in the age of COVID it's probably illegal again. I mean, it's not even, not even illegal to exhale in a public building right now without some piece of cloth in front of your face. So I mean, technically, I'm pretty sure spitting on the sidewalk is, uh, we could check with the commission on this, but I'm pretty sure that spitting on the sidewalk is wholly illegal.

Hey, remember when we had Victoria on the show when she was talking about her salon and kind of reopening and all that stuff?

Yeah.

Well, this is for her and for all other women that go to a salon or any other salon owners that might be listening. I did find a statute that is applicable in Florida, and it says that in the state of Florida, women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer and so can the salon owner.

Oh my.

So if you don't want to get a fine, make sure that you're well rested before you go to the salon and get your hair done. You heard that here on the Elevate Polk podcast here, folks.

And does it only apply to women or is it anybody?

You know, I'm not on that page anymore, so I can't tell you. I believe it said women.

Sexist.

Very sexist.

Okay, so, all right, so I asked you about what does the average American do 22 times a day. What does the average person do 13 times a day?

The average person, average person 13 times a day does this. Um, 13 times a day would be too few to look at your cell phone. Oh, God. Yeah. Turn on and off the lights, maybe. Yeah. Turn on. Turning on the lights.

The answer is laughing.

That's it. 13 times a day.

Yeah.

I laugh way more than that. I've laughed more than that on this show in the last 30 minutes.

That's the plan. That's the hope, folks. That is the hope. That's why we're here. Tip your waitress. Try the veal. I mentioned that one because I thought it was funny that it's almost half of how many times we open the fridge. So for every 2 times you open the fridge, you laugh once.

Well, I think we need to do something about that. I think we need to be laughing more. It's so, so good for the soul. So what are some ideas you have?

Many of us opening the fridge less, for sure.

Yes. What are some ideas we, we can come up with for helping people laugh more?

You can scour the Bridge Local Facebook group for interesting posts with, you know, possibly funny acronyms. That's what I do in my spare time while I'm not watching Miracle on 34th Street.

Well, that doesn't happen very often, so you might not be laughing frequently if that's what you're going to do to to solve the lack of laughter in your life?

Okay, so let's see.

Well, I'm going to make a suggestion. You should hang out with Craig Hosking.

I'm always up to hang out with Craig Hosking.

Because he is funny.

He is. That's why you like him so much.

The other morning I was leaving to go to work and he was still sleeping and he wasn't up yet. And so I was giving him a kiss goodbye. But it was still dark. So I said, so where's— what did I say? How did I say it?

Is this acceptable? Will I have to edit this?

No, I was leaning down and I was like, bye, I love you. And I couldn't find his face. So I said, where's your face? And he said, it's where I always leave it. It just cracked me up as I'm walking to the car. I'm just laughing hysterically because—

Craig, whatever you're doing, keep doing it, brother.

Oh my gosh, I'm crying. Oh, that's so funny. So yeah, I think one of the, one of the things people should do is hang out with Craig Hoskin because he really is funny, but don't tell him I said that, okay?

I'm sure he'll never know now. Okay, so where were we here?

I don't know where we were. We were in somewhere in between Indiana and Michigan. No, no, we got, we got away from there. Now we're in Florida.

We're back in Florida.

Okay.

All right. So this next one is about inventions.

Okay, okay.

Um, inventions. Inventions. Now, in which country did they invent the coffee filter?

Uh, country they invented the coffee filter. Um, gosh, it wasn't the United States.

Nope, it was not the United States. It was—

so why are you asking this question?

Germany in 1908. You can talk about Indiana and I can't talk about someplace outside around the world? I love this county. I mean, we both do. But we have to acknowledge the fact, Chrissanne, that there are other places around the world that we could mention, even if they're not as great. I suppose. We invented the Grove Goat in Polk, right? That's something.

I don't know what the Grove Goat is.

Neither did I when I first moved here.

What is it?

They kept referring to grove goats, and I thought they were like, you know, I got like that image of Juan Valdez. I'm picturing like some hardy goat lugging sacks of oranges through the orange groves, but it's actually, it's a vehicle that's used to load and transport big boxes of oranges when you pick them from the trees. They call it a grove goat. Because when I was a, I moved to this county to be a deputy sheriff, and I you know, there were some things about Polk that I did not know and some things about the citrus industry I really didn't know. And so I heard about a stolen Grove goat and I thought, well, who would steal a goat? And didn't, you know, much to my surprise, it wasn't the goat animal, but it's actually a vehicle.

So fascinating. Well, isn't it? It's really the kind of stuff that I really like learning about.

That's what I bring to the party, folks. That's what I bring to the party. Random useless knowledge about goats. Okay. All right. So because we obviously can't agree on what or what isn't appropriate geography for trivia questions relating to the Elevate Polk podcast, I'm going to go— because people watch TV in Polk, we're going to do— we'll wrap up with a few TV trivia questions. Okay. Okay.

So I don't watch much TV. But we'll give it a shot. All right.

Well, all right. So in the TV show I Love Lucy, right, it was Lucy and Ricky Ricardo. What was Lucy's maiden name?

Theobald.

That was her real name. No, the answer was McGillicuddy.

Oh. Okay, you're right. I wasn't really quite distinguishing between the Lucy that married Desi Arnaz and the Lucy that was on the show. Got it. Okay.

All right. All right. So do you remember the TV show Alf from, like, the '80s?

I do. Alien life form. Yes.

Okay. All right, good. We're on the right track.

Okay.

What planet was Alf from?

I don't know. All right. Was it a real planet?

No.

Okay, then I don't know.

It was the planet Melmac. I think it was a planet.

Melmac.

Melmac.

Okay. I will remember that for the next time I have to answer that question, which I hope is never.

All right. And then bringing it all back. It's just a—

but before we go away, I should have said this earlier. Do you know where Desi Arnaz is from?

Uh, he's Cuban, wasn't he?

Yeah, it was Cuban.

Oh, I got that right.

Me and Mano— well, he wasn't really my brother, but you know, we're all related in some way, shape, or form.

Oh, it depends on how far back you go. We're really related.

So exactly.

Uh, all right, so the last, the last question, and I'm going to totally redeem myself for straying outside of the bounds of our county. What— who described television as, quote, chewing gum for the masses, end quote?

Who described it?

Yes. Who called television chewing gum for the masses.

Can you give me like some, like, when this quote might have been said?

Um, I don't have a date. I will say that he had 3 names. So like, you don't have a middle name, right?

I don't.

Okay, so like if you had a middle name like Jane, it would be, I don't know, just go with it.

Chrissanne Jane Long.

Yeah. Right, right. Now, people referred to you by your full name, Chrissanne Jane Long. You like that?

No.

Uh, me neither, but whatever, you know, just for the purposes of the podcast.

Um, and you're saying it's bringing it all home. So like, that, that should— is that throwing— is that throwing me off? Because I'm now trying to think about like somebody local.

No, no, I, I— it's got a local tie-in.

Okay, so does their, does their title potentially provide— was it Sheriff Grady Judd?

No, no, no, no. Oh, I went through that whole thing about Chrissanne Jane Long, like first, middle, and last, for a reason.

Look at—

recognize the pattern. That's all I'm saying.

I don't know. I have no names that are coming to me that are people with their three names as they're known.

Maybe this person didn't like the idea that— maybe he didn't like chewing gum and didn't like chewing gum being on the ground outside of one of his buildings.

And he went by these three names. Huh, you got me. You stumped me.

My apologies to the faculty and staff of Florida Southern. The answer was architect Frank Lloyd Wright.

Oh shoot, I should have known that.

All things I would have said if you didn't. Yes.

Yeah. Yeah.

It was a little bit obscure, but I see how I tied it in back there.

Oh boy. You did. You did a good job.

I went from Michigan back to Lake Hollingsworth and you left with Indiana and Cuba.

So as far as I'm concerned, um, what about your reference to New York and the UK?

That was conversational.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I see. It's a double standard. It's okay. I, I, I'll let it go.

If you need me, I'll be falling asleep under the hairdryer at Victoria's Salon. Perfectly legal.

Take a pillow. Take a pillow. You can do it. I can't.

Absolutely. All right, folks. Well, I had a wonderful time despite the scoldings.

I think we actually did a really good thing today. We talked about some really important, relevant facts and details, and I laughed a lot.

Yeah.

Those are really, really good goals to have.

We're enriching lives. We're enriching lives here one minute at a time. Yep.

All right. Well, we're running out of those minutes, so I'm gonna go ahead and wrap this puppy up. All right. Thanks for listening. And remember, we have a new episode each week, so be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen. And remember to leave us a review. We promise to read every one. You can always find all of our episodes at elevatepolk.com. And if there's something you want to hear about on an upcoming episode, reach out to us on Facebook at Elevate Polk.