Self-Leadership That Actually Changes Your Life 💡 | Christine Münch

Hello and welcome, Christina. I'm really excited to have this conversation with you today, and I would love to start to really show everyone in the community who you are. And I would love to start with the question, who are you?

Thank you, first of all, Julia, for inviting me here. I'm very excited to have this conversation with you, and I love the question, who am I? Because that's probably the one question that I've been asking myself the most in the last years. And I'm really exploring this question. So personally, I'm really deeply curious about what makes us happy and how we can create a meaningful life and impact in the world. And who am I? I'm a creative, I'm a dreamer, I'm an entrepreneur and a coach with over 6 years experience, but I'm also a mom, a wife, a daughter, and a friend. And my, my personal quest is to find ways on how we can combine like what we really want to achieve in life and what brings us happiness. And through my work, I also help women to find answers to this question as well.

I love it. And I love how you mentioned the different roles you're having in your life. And I would, I always love to understand how somebody became the person they are today, right? Because I think a lot of insights in, in that like journey. And I would, yeah, love to understand how did you become the person you are today?

Yes, I love that question as well. So I grew up in the south of Germany with my mom and my dad and my sister who is 15 years older than me. So she moved out already from our house when I was 3 years old. And when I think back at my childhood, I always had this spirit inside of me that was craving for more, like more adventure, more meaning, more learning. And maybe that was because as a kid I watched a lot of TV, mostly superhero series. And I remember, especially on the weekends, I was getting up super, super early in the morning and I was sitting in front of the TV watching these series and I was dreaming of becoming a superhero as well one day. And this craving was part of me, but I didn't have many role models growing up that show me a kind of different life. So my mom, she was working part-time as a secretary and my dad was working as an insurance manager. So kind of very traditional, uh, roles. And like for me, any chance that I could take to bring a little bit of a twist into my life, uh, I took it. So that began when I was 16 years old. I decided to change my school to focus on another main subject on psychology against the advice of my parents. They didn't like that. They wanted me to stay where I was. I decided differently and I went to the school. And after I finished school, I went to England as an au pair, even though all my peers started to study straight away. I studied abroad in Bali for 7 months and I took on one of the craziest jobs I had to help me go through university was to sell donation contracts in the city. And so I was always like curious to bring a little bit of a different kind of twist into my life. And I had this knowing that there is more out there, basically, that you have in fact the ability to shape your life, to form your life besides this beaten track or besides of what you might see in your closed environment. So that was one kind of thing that definitely shaped me. And another key memories that shaped me was when I was 8 years old, we moved from the south of Germany to the north of Germany. And that was the first time when I became extremely conscious of myself because the children there, they were mocking me for my southern dialect, not necessarily ill-intended, but, you know, children. And so I got rid of this dialect like really, really fast. And for some years, even though I had friends, I never really felt that I belonged there. So because I know how it feels not to really belong, I made the decision that whenever you are around me, I want to really make you feel that you belong and that you are good enough. Because I do believe no matter what you sound like, no matter who you are, no matter what you look like, you are special and you have this something unique that you have to offer to the world. Wow.

I love the story. And, um, most often when we are as we are, there's like such a story behind it. And I think that's, um, that's a great example of like really getting aware of it and then saying, hey, you know, I consciously choose to do it exactly to differently, you know, to really, um, to really do it differently. And one, one more thing I would love to understand here on the journey is like, I'm a person who's like really like inspired a lot by, by people. And when you reflect on in your journey, like who are the people that really influenced you?

Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's an easy, uh, question to answer for me because 2 people in my life clearly stand out. So first of all, it's my mom. So my mom, she shaped me in as a positive example, but also, I don't wanna call negative example, but like something that I want to move away from. So first of all, she was the most caring and loving soul that I knew. I always felt completely accepted by her, but she was also a little bit overprotective and overly anxious. So I had to work with that as a child. So I was often told, oh, be careful. Oh, you can't do this. This is too dangerous.

Mm-hmm.

And so, and I believe that part of why I wanted to break out of this traditional life was because I saw that she had moments in her own life where she wanted to break out as well, but she was too afraid. So she never actually made the decision or she never took the chance. So that's one decision that I made, uh, because I saw that was that even though I'm fairly anxious, I will never let my anxiety stop myself from being brave to get out of my comfort zone and to do what it takes to, you know, bring more joy or bring a different kind of life, uh, to me. And on the positive side, my mom also told me that everybody is welcome in our house as long as they're kind and mean well. So I remember actually in my childhood, I can't remember exactly why, but one day the brother of one of my friends picked her up, and from that day on, he was a guest in our house nearly every day, no matter if I was there or not. He was having teas with my mom, he was having conversations with my dad. So I just, when I came home from school or from friends, I just found him randomly hanging out there. And he came from a little bit of a broken, difficult home. And my mom also welcomed him and everybody who was like kind always had a, uh, had a place on our table at home. So that was something that I also, that she really taught me, you know, treat everybody with kindness as long as they, uh, don't prove, uh, that they don't deserve it. We welcome everybody with open arms. So my mom definitely, um, shaped me a lot. And then the second person who shaped me a lot was my husband, or is my husband. I met him when I was 26, and he's— I call him like my missing puzzle piece because when I met him, he was a freelancer. He was starting his own agency from his bedroom. So he kind of showed me this, what I was missing, like examples of how could a different life look like and how could I actually take ownership and create that. Yeah, so definitely he inspired me to leave my job. I was 26. Uh, and despite just getting a promotion and, uh, quit it without having something else and, uh, to start a freelancer.

What were you doing at 26?

Hmm. I was, yes. Uh, so I studied, uh, economics and then after university I started at this company who did online, uh, directories for trade shows. And I was working first in project management and then it started to shift a little bit in marketing. And actually when I, they wanted to promote me into leading the team of 20 people, and that's when I quit because I realized I'm not feeling like, even though I have right now everything that I thought I wanted, like I was getting promoted the 3rd time in 2 and a half years from intern, from an intern to now the team lead, it doesn't feel the way I thought it would feel. So. I checked all the boxes, but I still wasn't happy or fulfilled or thought I was making a big impact. So that was the kind of moment where I was like, I have to try something completely different. Wow.

I think that's also very, a very important message here. And I mean, that's what you're all about, right? Is like really listening to your feeling and really understanding if there's something for you or something that other people expect of you. And I think that's, um, that's why I asked for it. Uh, I really, I really love that. And You know that for us it's a lot about helping our students find their personal mission and find their purpose because we really believe when you have your mission, when you have your purpose, you just have a different energy that you use to go through the world. And what I love to always ask all of you, our dear ambassadors, is like, what's your mission?

Yeah. Yeah. I love that question. And I love also that you have that you have that as a mission, you know, to help others, because I completely agree with that. Once you found your mission, you radiate a different energy and you have a different fuel to really go through this journey that is not easy, even though you found your mission. So for me, like basically leading up, I guess it makes sense that my mission is to help people, especially women, to become the leader of their own lives. And what I mean by that is to create a life on their terms, based on their strengths, on their desires, on their needs, not to follow what anybody else is doing. Because I've been struggling with that. I compared myself for years on the outside world. I thought I knew what I have to do based on what my parents want or peers around me, you know, but really to tune in to yourself, to listen to yourself, and then to take that ownership in, uh, of the life that you want to create. And I teach that in my academy. It's called We Love Mondays, which always starts in March and October. And I guess, how did I find it? Like the key realization that led me to what I'm doing was this, like this realization that kind of was a combination of different experiences that You don't have to do what everybody else is doing. You can do things differently. You actually have the power inside of you to create a life that you really love. But in order to do that, I found that you need 3 key ingredients, and I call them the, the 3 pillars of self-leadership. And that is the first pillar, you need clarity. So it's super important that you actually ask yourself, what is the life that you really want to create? And what life does my 90-year-old self like to look back on? So this is the first pillar. And once you have the clarity, and I talk about the pillars because that's how it was for me. I first found the clarity, then I needed to find the confidence that I actually have what it takes to create my mission, to bring my mission to life. And in order for you to find the confidence, it's really important to look at your limiting beliefs and the stories that you're telling yourself in your head. and to create new stories, more empowering stories so that you actually feel you, you can go for your dreams. And the 3rd key ingredient I found, and I also struggled with it for a while, is consistency. So you need to establish healthy routines and habits that allow you to follow your goals consistently because you need to look after your energy, especially when you are purpose-driven, when you're mission-driven. It's so important. I had a burnout myself. That you look at your energy and that you take good care of yourself. And also at the same time, you are going to lose motivation on your path. It's just going to happen. I have days when I love my business. I have days when I feel not motivated. So you need to do what it takes regardless. For, for example, when I started, uh, as a coach on LinkedIn, I published posts on LinkedIn 5 days a week for 9 months before I booked my first client. And that's what I mean with consistency, you know, like the tiny actions that you do every day ultimately amount to the life that you dream of. And yet I found that it's never as fast or easy as we might, as it might appear when we look outside, you know? So that's why it's something, that's why it's even more important that you find something that you can see yourself doing, you know, with passion and with purpose.

I love it. I love the, the clarity, confidence, and consistency. I think, yeah, I love, I love frameworks and I think it's a very nice framework that one can use. And I would love to understand a little bit better, like when and how did you find the clarity that you have this mission and that you wanna, um, have your own business and help others to find theirs?

That's a great question cuz I've been really struggling, uh, with that. Um, so when I was 26 and I quit my job, I started out as a marketing freelancer. That was just kind of the close idea that I have because I was working in marketing before, but I always had this calling that there's something else. I was really like, I really wanted to find this thing because I know I love to work. I know I love to make an impact, but I still didn't really know how I could do this. So I was for a long time, and I, really, like, kidding me not, for 3 years or so, I was in my head thinking, what could it be? I had different business ideas. I mapped them out. I was excited about them, but I, what I was missing was I never really tested them out. And then one day I just thought, you know what, I'm gonna give myself a year now and the different ideas that I'm having, I'm just gonna go out and test them in the easiest way possible. So I actually started out to only focus on writing 'cause that was something that I was good at, you know? So I became a copywriter and I realized there was still something missing. I thought, oh, I might want to work for an NGO. So I became part of an NGO for free and I helped them and I realized I still love business too much to just work for an NGO. Then I started my own product business, like very lean. I kind of sold postcards to make a positive impact in the world. And then one day I was like, I knew for a long time in my heart that I would love to learn more about psychology and that this whole coaching thing really interests me. But even back in the day, 6 years ago, 7 years ago when I did my training, uh, I thought there are too many coaches out there already. But I thought, irregardless, I, I, I subscribed to this bias to action was my headline for this year, bias to action. So even if I don't become a coach, I'm doing the training. And then I signed up for my training. I watched the first video. I cried my eyes out because I was really, I had this epiphany moment where I was like, if this is what I can do for the rest of my life, I'm the happiest person on the planet. And I hold onto this moment because I don't feel like this every single day now, but I'm holding onto this moment because that is, uh, when I realized that this, this process. of coaching, of helping people is what my heart craves. And at the same time, it's nothing that I would've ever found if I would've stayed in my head. So one key learning that I made is you don't actually gain clarity by thinking. Thinking is good. You need the first ideation phase of collecting ideas and, you know, and have a good brainstorming session. But then you need to go out there like every good entrepreneur, every good startup knows also, and test your different assumption. Is this really what I want to do? Okay. You don't, that doesn't mean we have often this idea that you need to flip it then, and I need to quit my job. I need to go all in. I find this is the worst thing that you can do. Like I did that. I wouldn't do it like that again. Instead of quitting your job straight away, if you are, for example, thinking of being a freelancer, do something on the side, test it, you know, like go for the NGO gig or try something. Try, if you wanna be a writer, start a blog or publish something on LinkedIn, you know, try to find different experiments where you can gain clues if what you desire to do is going into the right direction. I love it.

And I love the motto of Bias for Action and the year you took to literally just build a portfolio of experience and then decide, okay, what experience and portfolio really Um, really excited me and, and really stick to me. And I think, um, and what I love, the framework is like, are you interested or committed?

Right.

And I think we need to first interested and explore different interests to then find commitment.

Mm-hmm.

Um, and I, um, I personally, uh, yeah. Um, loved what you just shared. And one more question about your mission, right? Um, you, you shared what your mission is. Super, super powerful, super strong. You shared your long way towards finding it.

Mm-hmm.

Um, and for me, a huge topic is having a community. And that's what we also put a lot of emphasis on, um, at Tomorrow University, like having people around you who support you. And who are the people and how did you find your community of supporters that really help you do what you love every day? Mm-hmm.

Yes, that's a very good question. And one that I have to say I neglected for many years. I kind of, um, in the beginning had this belief around myself. I'm the strong one. I can do everything on my own, you know? So there was a lot of push, push, push for me at the beginning. And only when I found like-minded people and I surrounded myself with friends, like, I'm very proud to say that now I only have friends and people around me that are that support me, that believe in my mission, that are here to, when I need support and help, to help me find out what's best for me instead of just putting their own worldviews on me. And how did I find this, this support network? First of all, I remember I literally seeked out, uh, and went to places where you can find this kind of community. You know, is it in a program?

Mm-hmm.

like the university, Tomorrow University, you know, or in my program, you know, or in a coworking space that I was going to at a time. And that's where I found some of my connections that proved to be the strongest, where I can actually meet like-minded people that have a similar worldview and then to foster these relationships. So for example, I met this, my best friend now in one of those coworking spaces. We connected and then Now we meet each other weekly. We are our accountability partners. We, we talk about everything. And one key learning that I made also was because I was always trying to be the strong one and to show everybody that I have it figured out, I have it all together, you know, like I wasn't really vulnerable to others. And that's something that I truly learned as a, as a complete game changer to show where I'm struggling so that others actually can help me. And based on that, you can form connections that are so much deeper. And I also see that in my academy, which is, you know, you go through this 8-week program, but then you also become part of, of my community. And it's a safe space where women really honestly and transparently and vulnerably share about their struggles, what works well. You know, we connect also still like every month or, and biweekly with each other. And that is a whole new experience when you don't feel alone in this and when you know others have the same anxieties, the same doubts, the same struggles as you. And that is something that I completely recommend is to be yourself and be open and vulnerable, even though it's scary from the beginning. Nobody has everything figured out. I know I certainly don't to this point, even though I have reached certain milestones, there are still a bunch of things that I haven't figured out. And the more open we are with these anxieties, feelings, worries, doubts, the more actually people are willing and ready and jump into it for, to, to help us.

I, um, I also love that. And I also love that you shared, uh, how you build your community at Wheel of Mondays because I think, um, super powerful to have a community around one topic, which is like really self-development, self-actualization, really finding one's one's mission and one's calling, I would, I would describe it. And, um, also how you personally have it, having an accountability partner. Um, I personally have also, um, one, uh, my best friend. We are our accountability partners. It's such a game changer to have somebody on the side.

Yeah, absolutely.

For life. Christina, we are moving fast here and we are approaching the last part of the podcast. And it's always, um, I mean, I love it all, but it's also my favorite because it's 3 questions I really get always a lot of inspiration from. And the first one of those 3 questions is, what's the best advice you've ever received?

That's such a powerful question. And I thought about it a long, and also reflecting on my own journey, the best advice that I have ever received, and I'm gonna give some context because you've heard it all before, is, focus on your natural talents. Like focus, really find out what you're good at and focus on what you're good at. Because I personally used to believe that work has to be hard to be worth something. So when I started out as a marketing freelancer, I took on many projects that were very hard for me, like analytical, technical stuff that was not in my nature. And one of my best friends at the time, she witnessed how I was struggling. I was working long hours, you know, I was figuring it out, but it was a drag for me. She was like, why don't you just write? You're so good at writing. Why don't you focus on content creation? You are exceptionally at it. You work for, you write for my business. It's the best thing that I've ever read about it. You know, why don't you just do that? And I was so glad that I listened to her because I was having all these thoughts like, what if I just do what I, what comes naturally to me? Nobody's gonna pay me for it. It's not, everybody can do it. it. It's not gonna be worth something, you know? So all these limiting beliefs kind of came into my head. Luckily, I worked already a bit with myself that I was like, again, bias to action. Just give it a go. What's the worst thing that can happen? I didn't earn much as a freelancer. I had a horrible time. I worked extremely hard, long hours. So I was like, I'm gonna give this a try. So again, like I shifted and I just focused on content creation and like fast forward, I became one of the most sought out copywriters for startups and CEOs in Berlin. I was booked out within 3 months. I tripled my income, I reduced my hours, and just by these results, you know, I completely wholeheartedly like challenge everybody to really look into what is your, what are your natural strengths? What are you naturally good at? And also to add to that, as a writer, you can also earn very little, but I combine it with other strengths that I can also think strategically with people on their businesses, that I'm very committed, loyal, that I'm fun to work with. You know, like I combine basically all of my strengths to charge premium for that combination. And that was one of the moments where I realized it's actually okay to have fun while you're doing, you know, your work. So that was one of the best advice that I received. And if people now, I can always hear this, yeah, but I don't know what I'm really good at. One of the things that I challenge everybody in my academy, go and write an email and WhatsApp to 10 to 15 people in your network, colleagues, friends, ideally also colleagues if you want to know your strength in a work context. Hey, could you help me with something? I'm currently working on myself. What do you believe are my core strengths and what do you think is my one superpower? Write it. It's scary. Yeah, you don't want to send it. Do it. You're gonna receive the best feedback in your life. You're gonna look at yourself with different eyes. And that is one thing that I love to challenge everybody to do right now.

I love that advice and I love the challenge you just shared. Super, super valuable. My, the second question is, again, a little reflection on your journey and about one thing you learned on your journey.

Mm-hmm. So one thing I learned is happiness is the foundation for success, not the consequence. So happiness is the foundation for success, not the consequence. Because I believed for a long time, when I find my dream partner, when I make 6 figures, when I can work from the beach, then I'm going to be happy. Only to realize when I was sitting in Thailand zipping on my coconut, like every digital nomad back at the time, and I was crying my eyes out because I was not happy. And I had this realization, if I cannot be happy here, what's wrong with me? Where can I be happy? And I realized that nothing in the outside world can make you happy because what you are after is an emotion. You want to make the 6 figures, you want to find your dream partner because you want to feel a certain way. And you can tap into that, understand how you want to feel, and then give yourself the pleasure of feeling like that on your day-to-day. Because there, it's the little things that make you happy, and especially it comes from within. So it's important on your life's journey if you want to find true happiness. I have millionaires in my friend circle who made an exit, you know, and they're not happy. And it's because they never really got to understand themselves or they still have shadows. that they're too afraid of to look at. So we need to look at both. We need to look at ourselves in the mirror and see some dark parts, some fears that we don't want to look at, some things that we really don't like about ourselves. We need to look at them. We need to find ways to accept them. And then we can also look at ourselves, all the beauty and uniqueness that we carry inside, and be proud of that. And that goes hand in hand. And once you find happiness in your everyday, success is gonna be inevitable.

I, uh, I love a quote, um, a friend, uh, shared with me some, uh, I think it was 2 years ago. Happiness is an inside job. It's work you do.

Yes.

And it's, it's the foundation as you just nicely described it. Um, and not the result of, um, you know, the outside world. And the last question, and I, I think it's also a super powerful one, is If you would be able to create one law, what would it be that everyone applies to?

That is my favorite question. That is such a great question to reflect on and to get to know yourself better. So if I could create any law in the world, it would be that we honestly share how we truly feel. Because I believe most of our arguments, most of our conflicts, most of our misunderstandings stem from hurt emotions. that are not expressed truthfully. And we never learned how to communicate our feelings, so we hide them behind our ego. We lash out, we stomp, or we deem it all to be unfair. And when I'm— what I mean with like showing your emotions truthfully is not that at any given moment you have to share every single emotion that you feel, but instead of lashing out passive-aggressively at your partner, you go and tell them, hey, today's our anniversary and you're not thinking about it. Makes me feel really hurt. You know, or when the colleague interrupted you, instead of showing her the cold shoulder afterwards and talking bad behind her back on the coffee machine, you go and say, hey, the way you just came at me in the meeting made me not feel so good. Could we talk this through? And I believe Um, if we are vulnerable, then we get closer together. And I think there's nothing more that, um, we need in, in our society, in our own, uh, lives where we are all so individual, you know, and the tribe thing is missing a little bit, is that by being vulnerable, that we connect more as humanity again.

Yeah, I love that one. Um, I think there's so much power in like, feeling. I think the first thing is to feel one's emotions. I think a lot of people struggle with this one already, and then to express it. And I think I would wish that we, you know, at school learned how to feel our emotions, like to just name them and then also to express it. But I would also love to have the law. Christina, I really enjoyed our conversation. I personally learned a lot. Just one thing I really loved is your energy. I think you really found the one thing that you're good at, that, you know, the world needs and that you really enjoy. And it's just so great to see that. And I, yeah, I hope to bring you back at one point in time. We definitely bring you back into the community for one guest lecture you're having, and I'm excited for that one. And, um, until then, yeah, I hope you keep doing what you're doing, but I'm sure about it. And I hope we hear each other soon again. Thank you so much.

Thank you. Thank you so much, Julia. It's been a great pleasure to talk to you. You are an incredible host and you have a great ability to reflect reflect. So thank you so much for bringing me on.

Thank you so much, Christina.