All Ways Home

Hello, empowered empaths. I'm Christine J Gold. I'm a spiritual medium, intuitive energy coach, and old soul healer, and this is The Power of Healing Your Energy Show. This is all about your lost connections with your higher self and others, and depression and anxiety are a side effect of not living intuitively. Not Trusting Your Gut. Your Soul's Purpose Is Here. We are a live, unscripted show, and this is all about our soulful, intuitive journey to healing at the 360-degree level through Christ consciousness. Thank you for watching, sharing, subscribing, listening on your favorite podcast. Please rate and review, and also live on soundsugarradio.com. Happy St. Patty's Day, everyone! Welcoming Graham Hill, a spiritual counselor and poet and author of many poetry reads. So stay tuned, he's going to share how he didn't feel he belonged in this world, and I'm sure many of you will resonate.

I—

yes, hello! Thank you, thank you everyone for waiting and being so patient. We are here. It is Wednesday, March 17th, 2021, and this is episode 27. And 2 and 7 reduces to 9. 9s are all about, you know, the God code. This is the wrap-up, so we are wrapping things up but ramping things up. And today I have a very special guest He is a brother of mine, patron saint. I will call him that as well. I met him last year, all about, you know, Christ consciousness. He has a beautiful energy, and I'm going to bring him on and stop talking about myself. And please, everyone, if you are here live or even on the replay, say hello. Let us know where you're from. Share and subscribe. You know, share this out if you really care and you want to share the good blessings and luck of the Irish, as they say. Come on in, share it away. And here he is. Hello, Graham. Thank you for being here. Thank you so much.

You're welcome, Christine. Yeah, I know. And thank you for your, your, um, support get me connected today. So I know there's one second, so we're late. So thank you for everybody's patience.

You're welcome. We're just lucky. Like, lucky is good, as my shirt says, but blessed is best. So we're blessed that you're here in your presence, and everyone's going to— you know, when I met you, there was just something about you. I was very drawn to you, uh, your light, your presence, um, and I knew you were doing amazing things in the world. And that's why finally— and I left March 17th open for a reason, because somehow I knew either, you know, it was going to be about St. Patrick's Day, it was going to be about the, you know, the blessings and everything. And then you came in and here you are. So thank you again. And I always ask, I'm in Victoria, British Columbia, Canada. Where are you in the world?

Christine, I'm in Glasgow in Scotland.

Scotland.

Yeah, beautiful.

Yeah, wonderful, wonderful. And maybe just tell us a little bit about yourself. I mean, uh, your bio is quite extensive. Um, I mean, you've done a lot, but at least just share a little bit about maybe your childhood and, um, who and what you're doing now.

Okay, yeah, um, just want my connection— it might be a little bit delayed. So, um, I— well, my name is Graham Hill. My nickname is— you'll hear it in the middle— Gabriel. Anyway, um, I was going to name my daughter Gabriel, so it's another, uh, story there. I was born in Dublin, and I was born into a family of about 7 children, and Not a bit exactly, 7 children. It was busy, it was very occupied, you know, very, very busy and challenging to make a connection with mum and dad. But we spent a lot of time outside playing and a lot of, actually a lot of time going inside because I didn't really enjoy extend the external world and something going on. I loved, um, I love my connection with, with, with Jesus, you know what I mean? Was when I made my whole communion, um, uh, when I was 7, I had a great impression upon me. And a few other things happened for me where I had these— I had a bit like a vision, um, of a golden angel when I was a young kid and And, um, something about these, they kind of scared me a little bit, and that opened up for me a need to understand, which has stayed with me for the whole lot of my life. How— why, um, do I have a sense that I don't belong here, you know, I mean, and where do I belong? Who am I? And then that sent me on a journey for the whole lot of my life. And I would say I found myself in God. I haven't got any problems with saying that anymore in the past, you know, 'God!' But now it's just, I see it as part of us all. We are one with God. And that led me to a lot of, I'll probably finish here, it led me to It sent me down the road of problems, you know, addiction in the younger, in the early ages, actually addiction to achievement as well. I did a lot of qualifications and couldn't really find it. It's only when I went into more spiritual counseling that I actually started to make that real, clarified, real connection. That has given me this back now. And if that's all I want now is to be in communion with God and to share that love and peace with other people, even in that connection. I hope that answers.

Yeah, well, no, I mean, it's— there's so much more, you know, there's so many, you know, layers to who you are, right? And I think a lot of people can resonate that they didn't feel like they belonged. I know I didn't. I always felt like I was the black sheep, the outsider. But you know what, we're not meant to fit in anywhere. And I just want to welcome Dawson to the show. He's saying, can't wait to hear you guys' poetry. Well, this is mainly Graeme's poetry, and, and you'll also talk about the collaborations you made with people as well. But he's been inspired lately to write his own, and then it popped up. So this is fate, as they say. And welcome, Jeff. To the show. Jeff Schlitt, thank you so much for being here. And Julian Mann, hello. Uh, Jeff is coming in from Sedona where we have a lot of friends, um, and our mentor is there as well, Michael Murdad. Joy Woolford, hi all, glad to be here, currently in Missouri. Nice. And, and Julian is in Wellwyn. Okay, well, when UK Nice. Thank you all for being here. I appreciate you all. Um, so a large family of 7. Wow. Um, but then you had, you had a lot of struggles. Like, your mom had passed away at the age of 16, and, uh, bless her heart. And your dad left when you were 11. And, um, then of course you somehow— well, I think we all do when there's a lot of trauma we fall into addictions. So what, what was your— I guess, was it drugs and alcohol in your, in your teens? Was that mainly what you struggled with?

Yeah, um, it was more like, um, with like, uh, weed, weed, um, hash.

Gotcha.

And when I was— I grew up, you grew up in the '90s, so, ecstasy, and I've got no problem with this, it's a way of coping with pain. And latterly, just like in my early 20s, alcohol. So I discovered very quickly that it didn't alleviate— well, not very quickly, I discovered eventually that it didn't alleviate any pain at all. It just left this horrible emptiness inside. Which I avoided. And it's only when I became, you know, so consistently enough and found, you know, decided to do psychology and got close to the end, like anybody's found connection, they go through a dark night. And that was when I was 18, 19, that was my first experience of Everything in my entire life falling apart, but I see that as a great gift because really what fell apart is my desexualization of life and what I thought it was. And so it was good falling apart, and I found inner beauty there. So I remember one time, maybe this is kind of exemplify it, you know, giving some flesh and bones to it. When I moved to London, I was very, very suicidal actually, and It was very difficult, um, and I remember actually contemplating taking my own life. And then I came back to my mom, who gave me a lot of care and support. And then I remember I had Radiohead, Radiohead song on, Don't Leave Me High and Don't Leave Me Dry. And then, um, that song finished, and then there was I decided, you know, I'd contemplated loads of different ways of ending things and I just, it was really quite obvious, I actually thought, well, if I do end up doing it, you know what I mean, because I contemplated doing all these manner of things, one was to jump in front of a tube and then, well, because I was Catholic, you know, born Catholic, you know, born and, you know, from a Catholic area and family And I actually thought, oh, I can't do that. What's going to happen? They won't be able to see and my face is going to be all mashed up and nobody's going to see me in the grave. It would be such a shame. It would be terrible. And it was ironically, it was that shame that actually stopped me in my tracks in this constant cycle of thinking to end things. And when that happened, I realized I actually don't know. I can't actually do it. I don't want to end. I don't want to end up, I don't know another way, I don't know what to do. So I was just looking for help. In that moment, you know, if you imagine there was 6 months of intense sort of rumination about my life, everything went quiet and it was the first time in well over 6 months, maybe even a year that I had some quietness and it was so attractive to me. Me and that quietness and I just thought, what the hell? And then I got this message which I thought was just my own thought. Go have a shave. That was strange. Go have a shave.

Go have a shave. Okay.

That's something different. Yeah. Yeah. Literally.

Yeah. Go have a shave. And that's how intuition works because that's not what you were thinking about. So that was a divine download.

No, it was a divine download. And then so go have a shave. I went in and I went in my bathroom and I was just having this shave and I was actually just feeling this real kind of still okayness around me, just falling over me. And then I was feeling also this sense of feeling beauty inside. I was like, oh my God, what's happening here? And I was looking in the mirror and I could see that beauty reflecting back at me. Not only, you know, it wasn't an aesthetic thing, but I was experiencing the beauty that was shining out from my insides onto the mirror. And I thought, wow. And in that moment, my insides came together and I just felt beauty. And then I declared, I went like, Diane, you know, come beautiful, you know, come I don't know if I am. And I just, in that moment, it was literally turn around empty for me overall. I just thought, I'm not going to kill myself. No way. You know, man, I'm going to, I'm going to do something about it. I'm going to help myself. Um, and then it just, from then I was off here and like, just went on a, well, that was the beginning of the, of the life, you know, and from there went into counseling, to every form of counseling you could think of, went on a journey. Personal therapy, reading, did the psychology degree, did not do the mental health training as a mental health professional. So it was— yeah, yeah.

Wow, that sounds like a movie moment. Sounds like a movie moment, you know, where it's just like, ah, here comes the light, the light beams. You're here for a reason, Graham. Just like I say, everybody is here for a reason. So, um, and, and thank goodness you're here. Thank God. Yeah, we're so lucky and honored to have you here. Oh gosh, and look who has showed up here. Raluca is saying, hi Jeff, hi everyone. So good to be here with you all for this meetup. Thanks Raluca for being here and showing your support as well. Now I want to talk about, you know, it's funny, you already talked about your addictions, your life, voices that came in. So maybe talk about your poetry and your books and how did that come about.

Okay, well, poetry was always— well, writing was always a thing for me. I used to write on scraps of paper when I was fucking thinking. Very dense, unescapable thing, for want of a better word for it. I couldn't get out, but I found a relief earlier on, early in life, to just write, and that relief helped me move on and stop the rumination cycle of stress. So I did a lot of academic, I did quite a bit academic writing, so I did undergraduate here and and masters. And it was only when I did— when I went to study my maths degree, I think I was leaving the National Health Service, and that was what was the topic of my maths degree dissertation. And I had a very wonderful, amazing tutor called Joanne Brown, and she did her PhD in love. So, you know, it would give you an insight to what it's like. I was trying to express how, what it felt like for me to move on from my career and also how to express, you know, leaving the National Health Service after a very long time working there and also how to express my feelings of working in, you know, in close contact with a lot of people enduring mental health difficulties. And I couldn't find a way, and she just said, "Why don't you just write your results in poetry?" I was like, "What?" I was like, "Wow." So I did what's called a thematic analysis. So you do a reflection of your reflective practice methodology, and you just reflect in your practice. And the reflections that came out, you just look at the results of your reflections. Actually, you just gather many themes. I was gathering these things and these themes of my experience of working with people enduring mental health difficulties, the effect on me and the effect on them, and working in a service that was very, very under-resourced and unsupported. It was very, very difficult. And then I actually just speak fluent just came to me of just— I actually saw as I condensed down and just looked at the themes more and more, which ones were poems. And then it was a poem about love and just where— and in that poem I actually saw how I was judging not only myself, the people I was working with, and also the system itself. So really all that was was just an extension of my own ego. And and I was able to see that it was only through my own non-judgment, loving myself and loving other people, that I could actually support and be able to support other people. The whole poem was about love and coming to reconciliation with everything around you and within you. So then after that, I just um, I'm classic Irish, I like that story. And so the— after that I met— really the thing, you know, I know Julian's on here and he's probably watching these. I met Julian, um, about 4 years ago on my friend Michael Mirdad's site, it's a Facebook group. He just wrote— was right, he was talking about poetry and another guy, Roger Blake, was They've got a poetry group called Oracles of Song. I was listening a lot to Christ Consciousness and teaching from Michael Murdaugh, which is, you know, to me, he's an amazing mentor to me. And the main mentor of my life, yeah, the main mentor of my life currently. And there was something about when I connected with Julian, it's just, and then it went on to for the song, I wasn't writing poetry. I mean, I wasn't writing any poetry. When I went in there, you're talking a couple of weeks, I start writing these poems that were like filled full of wabi, just Christ consciousness feelings. You know what I mean? I sense that consciousness. And it's because I was listening a lot to Michael's teachings and services from Unity. And I was absorbing that somehow and reflecting through my poetry. I was hearing this inner voice and then they were becoming lines of poems and then I'd connect with Julian and we could just, it was really unbelievable actually, we could just connect on Messenger, on Facebook Messenger and we could just write instantly. He'd write a couple of lines and I'd write a couple of lines. Now I could talk about poetry all day long but then that just, I just got an idea with one of the people that were on Forest of Sound to do a book. And they wanted to do a book. Her name's Val Mullins, and she made an inspiration in my project life. And she says, why don't you do a book? And I said, yeah, why not? So just invited people, just very straightforward. Let's do a book together. And then a year later, we had the first book. I'm not actually plugging it. I'm just saying—

Yeah, plug it.

Beautiful cover by Linda Whitten Perry. Look at Forest Song. This is actually not just about people. This is the forest spoken, and all the poems are just about the experience being in the forest song and being together and sharing a singular message of togetherness. And we just— there was a lot of care and support there. Just, it blew from there. Then there's another book and then another book.

So another book and another book.

I think that's— how can I leave?

No, that's amazing. I mean, nothing— it is not— yeah, the synchronicities. I mean, your soul brother— when you talk about you and Julian and then Roger and all that, I think of Simon and Garfunkel. I mean, artists, they're channeling their— basically their trauma. They're also channeling the divine. So It's just beautiful how, you know, you recognize that and it came together. Um, I just want to— oh gosh, everyone's having a nice little chat between themselves. Hi Julian and Joy. Hi Jeff, Joy, and Raluca. Looks like you got all your fans here, Graham, all your supporters, which is amazing. Thank you guys for being here. Uh, let me know if you have any questions, um, even on the replay. We will, we will answer them. Or if you want to get in touch with Graham or myself, um, are you able to share a poem from one of your books just randomly?

Yep, I can, I can do that.

Yeah, should we just go with numbers or you have you got one in mind?

You say again, sorry Christine.

No, I'm just saying just pick whatever jumps out, go with it.

Yes. Okay, okay. Um, I, I would say I'd like to, um, if I'd like to dedicate this to Chelsea— sure, I, I always— not very good at pronunciation, and she's a, she's a host on Edenshire. It's like, yes, to her. And she, yeah, just, she'll, she'll know why anyway.

Okay, this is for Chelsea.

Yes, I got this one. Okay, this one's called Heaven. I think that the world needs a bit of it at the moment.

Yeah.

Okay. Look, sky clear, singing bright, and now it's covered. Being new arrival one by one from all corners of Karma, fleets of golden carriages converge rolling on diamond wheels of glass. Greetings, my own. What a sight! Demons, demons, starlit highways everywhere, all hearts expand and welcome the rush of golden fear. And this— staying for good. Precious Taurus cargo is here. Awak— an everlasting feel. Golden melody of the Messiah. The golden red here. Oh, and now delivered onto us alive. All our crowns of golden promise now open wide. Flow of light pours directly into I surrender. Jump. Dance.

Dance.

Dance. All done. Receive every immortal drop of pure and limited divine worth now. Look left and look right. Each one all a mirror, a Lord, only able to witness another living miracle. For you are a luminous angel too, univine, unified, a universe of angels. Everybody is perfect, a royal family princesses of life in robes and gowns fit for heaven on earth. All gates open to everyone, golden thoughts are enchanting. Growing wild everywhere. Warm, golden, harmonious bubbles. Trees brim with lovely, sweet life and force. Oh, oh, everyone grow up and come forth to great peace and joy. The pano. Yeah, everywhere it shows the overflow, the resounding music of life, the plants. We all have those blood again. We all are of God's blood. We all are God's children, all committed to living in happiness. God, Christine J Gold. Gold, pavement, road, book, Christ, nation of light, sadness, all dreams of light, pure light. We are having Home, living lightly, warm, forever.

Wow, that was powerful and beautiful. Thank you so much. I mean, that's just one of the many poems, and then all the people that have contributed into the book as well. Amazing, amazing. Um, so where you, you talk about always home, and I guess what, what is the work that you're doing now that is your purpose?

For me, it's simply a recognition that we are already, part of us is already home. This understanding comes to me vividly through Michael Meade's teaching. I didn't see it, but we didn't conceptualize it that way. For them. And we are home already. We are in— and that place is where all our gifts come from, and they're already there, and we can share them. But there is still journey to turn in full consciousness together, full aware, you know, the wind that we are. Freely connected, that we are, we are together. There's, there's no separation, um, and we are actually brothers and sisters and family. So really, my work is, is, is trying to convey that message because I feel it's reality. And it's a reality that we're already home, but it is a reality that we're coming back to constant remembrance of that fact. And I know it's been challenging because I forget a lot myself, and that's the process for me of identification. We call it like, 'Chi identification.' So really supporting Connecting to that space, that place within which is, to me, very simply, a lighter feeling of love, peace, joy, and abundance. Being able to let that, let my words come from that place. And I really can't say anything else. I've tried to actually do that through chanting, through my poetry, and what I found is by doing that often enough for the people things shift and change. They start to recognize a place within themselves that we have a normality, which is the connection to spirit and connection to aliveness. And so really, I just, I want us all to help.

Exactly.

Just here on planet Earth.

Yeah, to be in service for others. That's really, that's all it is. And you're definitely walking and Walking the walk and talking the talk. Um, yes. So we also talked about possibly giving away a copy of one of your books. Did— is there one in particular that you'd like to give away on the show today?

Yes. Well, what I would say is that Always Home is my, my first individual book. It's just, it's not finished yet. Finishing very soon, but I'm happy to give a copy of that way when it's done. I'm happy to give copies of, um, The Forest of Song Anthology too, as well. Okay, all right, anybody who wants—

all right, so I'm— yeah, I'm just gonna get them to comment. So we're gonna— and Always Home as well. So there's a chance to win 2 books. All right, Forest of Song and Always Home. So here we go. I'm just going to put that up there. So if you want to win a copy of Forest of Song and Always Home, comment forest and always home. If you want to win both, chance to win both, go for it. If you just want one in particular or you want the other one, then just make your comments known. And even if you're listening on podcast send me a message and I'll get you in the draw. We'll make the draw on Sunday, so at least it gives you some time to listen and catch up. And, uh, yeah, good, good luck to everyone that participates. And, uh, yeah, thank you so much for, uh, donating that. We much appreciate that, Graham. Very generous. Oh wow, it looks like, uh, hold on here, I've got Yeah, I've got to delete a few things here. Um, let's see. All right, so yeah, we've got that up. And, uh, thank you so much, uh, for all of your time. Is there anything else you want to share with us? I always ask two questions of our guests as well. Um, how can we collectively help you realize your dreams?

My own personal dream.

Mm-hmm.

So I'm just getting that question clear, Christine. When— how can—

how can we collectively help you? Yes, realize your dreams.

Help you. So help Graham.

Graham. Yes, Graham Hill. You bet, you bet. Yeah, I know there's a bit of a delay, but thanks everyone.

Okay, um, thank you, God, for being with me. I appreciate that. And so how can you collectively— be yourself, just be yourself, please. When you're near me, just be yourself and say you can possibly help me, because, um, in my troubles, I feel like developed an awareness that when people are being true to themselves, I can be— it's quite obvious to me that they're, they're open, they're, you know, they celebrate their life. So that helps me every day as well, an open conversation, an act of goodwill, anything. Just, but just be yourself, please. Just know inside. And for me, what is your For yourself, know your own natural desires. Don't force yourself to do anything. Um, and that requires, in my sense, a lot of trust because we're very programmed in the world. We need to, yeah, affect the illusion. But, um, we're very programmed and we're not to do what we want because really our natural will inside, for me, is what Source wants for us. God wants for us. The universe wants for us. So it's one with the same world. So just please be yourself around me. Give me the right gift. Yeah.

Just be yourself. That's why you're here. You're not to be— I'm not here to be someone else, and neither are you. So authentic. When you're living authentically, you'll know. And then the other question is, because I love magic. What does magic mean to you?

What was the question?

What does magic mean to you?

Oh, magic. I'm living connection with God.

Ah, that's very simple but beautiful. I love it. Uh, yes, and thank you, Jeff. Blessings to you all as well. Thank you so much for showing up and supporting us and waiting so patiently. Is there anything else you'd like to share with us, and how can we get a hold of you if, say, someone wants to, uh, get some counseling, spiritual counseling, maybe some assistance with poetry, whatever it happens to be?

You can get me on alwayshome@outlook.com. You get my email. I'm very happy to be in contact with anybody. So it's just A-L-S-W-A-Y-S-H-O-M-E@outlook.com. I'd just like to say thank you to anybody that has ever shown me any kindness at all in life. You know, the reason why I just feel I can help other people is just humorously and how you've helped me. So thank you. And then thank you, Christine J Gold, because you're an inspiration in my life. I love your work and you're a bright, beaming soul. Please continue doing what you do because you're amazing. So I really appreciate being here.

Oh, thank you, Graham. You're so sweet. And I, you know what, I love the work that you're doing as well. You're always shining your light. I've never actually called anyone brother, but I can— I told my son last night, you feel like a brother to me, always. The brother that I never had, but now I do. So thank you so much for all the beautiful work you do, guys. If you're not sure and maybe you need help, please reach out to Graham. Please reach out to myself or someone else you know if you're really struggling. Please, you are not alone in this world. And all it takes is just, you know, leading with your heart, trusting and having faith, and, and just asking. Because if you don't ask, you know, they don't know, right? We, we don't know unless you ask. But, uh, thank you so much for being here, Graham. I really appreciate it. And guys, don't forget to comment if you want to win a copy of the book. All right, I know that I'm going to get my hands on the book, all of them. So, and I really appreciate it. I just have a few housekeeping items. If you're not sure about the March energy, I, I kind of tap into the global pulse. You can go and check that out on YouTube. Follow me on Facebook as well. Every Saturday I have a free Unleash Your Soul's Purpose on Zoom at 10 AM Pacific. You can sign up for that. And the 2021 Dream Vision Map is happening April 10th at 10 AM. It was rescheduled, so I will send out the links for that. If you're curious, just reach out. Otherwise, have an amazing St. Patrick's Day, have an amazing week, and, uh, please remember, healing begins where the ego ends. Take care.