In this solo, spoken‑word episode, Christine J. Gold guides listeners through the “dark night” phase of spiritual growth, focusing on shadow work and soul retrieval. She first defines the shadow as the collection of disowned emotions, traumas, and even hidden gifts that arise from messages like “you’re too much” or “you’re not enough.” She explains that the shadow seeks to be seen, heard, and loved, and warns against spiritual bypassing that ignores these parts. Christine shares her own journey—inner‑child breathwork, confronting sexual trauma linked to the sacral chakra, and a pivotal moment of holding her scared younger self, which sparked her soul‑retrieval process. She then offers concrete practices: noticing emotional triggers without fixing them, mirror work, writing letters to past selves, and forgiveness rituals (burning, burying, releasing). She emphasizes the importance of building a support team—alternative practitioners, medical professionals, therapists, mentors, and her Soul Healers Community—to hold safe space during heavy work. Throughout, she frames the work within ancestral wisdom, the interconnected crystalline grid of Gaia, and the belief that embracing the shadow amplifies one’s innate light, turning survivors into thrivers. The episode ends with a call for listeners to share which shadow they’re ready to meet and a teaser for Episode 5 on the purge and grieving the old self.
Chapters
Welcome back. I'm Christine J Gold, and this is Episode 4, Shadow Work and Soul Retrieval. So far, We've answered the call, we've broken down, we've floated in the void, and many of us have been there, including myself, going, 'I don't have no idea what's going on here, what's going to happen. I'm lost, I'm scared, I'm a little bit excited because it's the unknown.' And gosh, the ego doesn't like any of that, but the soul does. The soul absolutely does. So now we begin the descent into our deepest truths, meeting the shadow and reclaiming the soul. What is the shadow? Your shadow is the part of you when you were told you were too much, not enough, too sensitive, too bossy, terrible, whatever it was, right? It holds your anger, your grief, your shame, your jealousy, your pain. Trauma, guilt, and self-doubt. But here's the twist: your gifts are buried there too. Yes, they are. Your shadow doesn't want to hurt you. It wants to be seen. Your shadow wants to be loved, and your shadow wants to be heard. And part of shadow work is experiencing all of it. Just like grief, it comes in stages, it comes in waves. It comes up to resurface, to be looked at again. Maybe you kind of— there is such a thing as spiritual bypassing where it's all positivity, all love, all light. We put our heads in the sand, we pretend it's not happening, we put, tuck things away in boxes, you know, all of that. That is all part of bypassing, and the shadow is part of your light. I mean, yin and yang, it is a duality, it is dualism. This is who we are, and we cannot be ignored. My shadow work story, I had to face the parts of me I had judged and rejected and criticized and shamed and blamed. Those are all core wounds, as Brené Brown has eloquently written about. That transform relationships, being bridges and connections, and vulnerability comes out of that. And we are hardwired for that. I was a little girl who didn't feel safe. The woman who wanted to be loved so badly she forgot herself. The anger I buried under a fake smile, or it would come out as passive aggression as well. Now that we're taking a trip back here. Uh, one day during breathwork, I saw my younger self cowering in a dark room. And I do a lot of inner child work. I have done on myself, but with my clients, because that is the piece that needs to be reclaimed. That is the piece where there has been a lot of trauma, and I want to say a lot of sexual trauma has, uh, evolved there from the sacral chakra because that is our inner child, that is our sacred womb, that is our sensual creative space, and a lot of us had to shut it down in order to be safe. I, I do get it. Ah, so my younger self, she wasn't scary, she was scared, she was hiding. I reached out, I held her, I let her cry. That moment began my soul retrieval. Piece by piece, I called myself home. And isn't that what we're all doing in this lifetime, is walking each other home? Heaven on Earth. How to do shadow work. Start small. Notice your emotional triggers. Don't fix. Feel, feel, feel it all. Something my mom avoided, never unpacked her trauma because she didn't want to go there. She always thought she'd end up in, in the crazy house, as she'd call it. It's not true. Mirror work. Look yourself in the eyes and speak truth to your pain. Write letters. This is part of one of my mentorships, my 6, 12, and 1-year programs. Writing a letter to your inner child, to your past selves, to the you, you tried to silence, you tried to shut down, you tried to dismiss, you tried to just go along to get along. Well, no more. This is your call. Forgiveness rituals: burn, bury, or release stories that you no longer need. And I do get this a lot, especially for sexual trauma or something that was just horrid, horrible, awful, disgusting. They don't deserve my forgiveness. I understand, I do. At some point, the first— but here's the piece with forgiveness, it releases you from them. You are no longer bound and connected to them. You are no longer part of the story. You are no longer the victim. You are now a survivor and you're going to rise and be the thriver. You're going to thrive and succeed. And be a vessel and channel and light and guide for others. Yes. So, and also be with guides, gather a team, whether it starts with alternative practitioners, medical doctors, therapists, mentors, and a community where you can hold safe space when it gets real heavy, because there will be some parts where it does, and That is part of my community, the Soul Healers Community. I truly believe we're meant to rise together, to thrive together, to stay connected and interconnected because we are just like the crystalline grid of Mother Earth and Gaia. We're all connected. We— what the problem is, is we have become disconnected, disillusioned. From our sensitive, beautiful, soulful selves. Hmm. This is deep work, but you're ready because the more you embrace the shadow, the more you embody the light that you already are and always have been. You're not just healing wounds, you're retrieving parts of yourself you forgot were divine. And this is ancestral wisdom. We all have the divine inner blueprint.— it's just a matter of being activated, which I truly believe it's happening right now as we speak. We are all accelerators, activators, holders of space, manifestors. We all have that archetype, and some of us develop more pieces of ourselves to fully embody that. So in the comments, or you can privately share with me, Tell me, what shadow are you ready to meet or love back home? What shadow are you ready to meet or love back home? Stay tuned for Episode 5. It's all about the purge, grieving the old self.
