Decide Your Destiny

Welcome, empowered empaths, to The Power of Healing Your Energy Show. This show is all about your unconditional love, your light, your intuition, your soul's purpose. And depression and anxiety are a side effect of not living intuitively, not trusting your gut, the lost connections with your higher self and others. Your soul's purpose is here. Hello everyone and welcome to the show. Come on in, say hello. And yes, this is season 2, episode 25. Decide your destiny. You know, it almost sounds kind of— it has that Star Wars, you know, the Yoda, Luke. Yeah, anyways, it's got that feel. Um, talking again more about death and destiny. I have a wonderful guest with me today. Please share, please like, please subscribe, please comment as well and interact if you are on the replay as well. Please ask a question. We're not going to leave you hanging. And as well, if you're on podcast, please leave me a review. This makes it more available to others that may have never thought of the power of healing your energy. So we are, you know, we've discussed death before and we know it never ends. In fact, it is the beginning. So we explore all things sacred in life beyond the veil of what we know. And widening our perspective lens to capture our life moment to moment in full presence. So I have Kyle here with me today, and he's all about self-improvement, commitment, so kind. He has a huge heart. I mean, his grandparents had a big part of it, but, you know, I'm just gonna bring him in, not gonna talk about myself. And the show, because really it's about the guest. And hello, Kyle.

Hello, Christine. Thank you for having me.

Thanks for being here. Um, I think it was a couple months ago that we, uh, connected, and I, you know, it seems like, uh, so long ago, but, um, you know, just, I believe seeing some of your videos about what you're doing, that really captured and encapsulated you know, who you are, uh, as a soul. So maybe just tell us a little bit about yourself and where are you in the world, actually. I always forget to ask.

For sure. So I'm in Perth, Western Australia, on the west coast of Australia. It's about a 5-hour flight to the east coast. So Australia is such a big country, um, you know, I was originally from Sydney, the east coast. And yeah, so I was born in South Africa, Johannesburg, when I was 2. And when I was about 2, I came to Sydney, Australia. So I spent the first few years of my life actually growing up in a pub and my grandmother—

In a bar?

In a bar. Oh, okay.

Bar, pub, gotcha.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, the typical sort of red couch, sort of, you know, red furniture sort of scene, the red bar stools.

Yes.

Or pub stools. Yes. So I grew up, you know, first few years of my life until I moved to Australia, um, my granny raised me as— my South African granny raised me as, um, my mother had contracts with Vogue, um, so she was a model, international model, and she had— she would have a contract, so she'd have to go away, um, for 3 months, and then they'd extend her contract, and then she'd go, um, do a shoot in Tokyo or Moscow and different parts of the world. So it's pretty much my biological dad and my granny would raise me, um, and it was much safer for me to be in a pub. So, so that's, that's what I found out more recently, that, that was my, uh, my growing digs.

Wow, that, that's quite, that's quite the story. Um, and you know, really, I guess your child— so how did you feel your childhood was like? I mean, what, what did you know, uh, to be true, I guess, as a child through your eyes?

I think I had a lot of— definitely had a lot of love in my life from many different people, um, and I was able to socialize with adults from an early age, which I think was, was a great, a great gift for me and has helped me out in my older years. And I also spent a lot of time traveling in multiple countries. So I didn't really have a foundation of home or a sense of belonging until I really got older, so, you know, got much older. So I think that's one thing that whether you come from a torn home, a torn family home, or whether you move around a lot as a young kid, the combination of those factors can, you know, in terms of your identity, trying to work out where you belong can be quite tricky. And you kind of develop that as you're older. Um, but it also frees you up to realize that I don't have to stick to any identities, you know, I don't have to be, you know, chained to any identities or get mixed up in identity politics.

Definitely. No, it— I, I want to say nomad. I mean, I, I call myself a gypsy.

Yeah.

Um, that's just— and I honestly I feel it makes us more resilient and flexible. Would that be—

yeah, exactly. And, and, you know, I resonate with a lot of the, a lot of the things you talk about in terms of your soul's journey and, you know, death not being like the final, you know, you're here once. Like, I believe in the soul, you know, I believe in past lives. I believe that, that, you know, that there is no Death is a new beginning, you know, in a lot of ways. Um, you know, so you've got this amount set of this time set aside for this life, and you know, it's your obligation to fulfill it with, you know, the, the most joy, happiness, lessons, challenges, kindness, and love you can in that amount of time. And then when you pass on, you go to the next realm or the next place, um, you know then you start again. So I don't think there's an end. I think it's continual journeys and you continually arrive in different places and different stages in your life.

Yeah, no, that's beautifully said. I love that. And speaking of journeys, when we talk about death, you have had a near-death experience.

Yeah. Do you want to talk about that? Yeah, so I've had a couple. I mean, the most notable one was about 2 months after I left school. So, you know, graduated out of school, and I was very much into rugby at that stage of my life. So it was all about, you know, building the biceps and getting the beach muscles looking good.

And gym tan and laundry? No.

Yes. Yeah, yeah, exactly, exactly. It was very much about the physical look. Um, and then life had another, another idea for me. So yeah, so I was, I was at that stage of my life and I was coming home from, from the gym one night. So it was about 2 months after school. I went and sat on the couch and all of a sudden I felt really cold. You know, I was sitting on the couch, I was watching Independence Day, you know, the one for all the aliens and the jets. And you know, I was enjoying that, but I started feeling really cold. So I grabbed every bit of clothes I could, blankets, everything I put it over my body and I kept watching the movie. And then I, um, then I got really, really hot and I stripped off and I was basically sitting stark naked on this couch, um, and I was sweating. And so that was the first, I guess, night. The next night I went, went to the fridge to get some ice, collapsed on the ground. So I just fell on this tile floor, hit my head, and I basically laid there unconscious for about 20 minutes. Um, um, sorry, laid there conscious for about 20 minutes. So I was aware of where I was and what was happening, but I just couldn't physically get my body up. So that was very strange. Um, and then, you know, the next day, um, I was taken to the doctor. Doctor said, I think you've got gastro, take some pills, you'll be sweet. Went home, took the pills, vomited them up. Everything was coming out from both ends. Um, and it just started to increase and increase. So instead of, you know, maybe twice a day, it was 3 times, 4 times a day. So I was getting more violently ill, and I was begging the people I was with, like, please take me to the hospital. I know that there's something seriously wrong inside my body. Please take me to the hospital. And, you know, it was a bit delayed, you know, like, oh no, you'll get better, like, you know, you know, we'll take you to another doctor. I said, no, I need to go to the hospital. So they took me down to my grandparents' house Um, and my grandparents, you know, I lived with my grandparents for about 10 years. They were basically like parents to me. They really raised me in my life. So my grandmother saw me, she took me up to my uncle, and my uncle, he's a chiropractor. So I was walking down the hallway in his practice and he looked at me and he said, turn this boy around, take him to a doctor. If the doctor doesn't take him to the hospital, you drive him there straight away. You know, he's got a virus. And he, he would do kinesiology, and, you know, a lot of— he would test the body, like, you know, for viruses and communicate with the body a lot. So he understood that there was something seriously wrong with me. So I went to the doctor, and it was a doctor that I'd been to for many years. He was this lovely Chinese man. He spent about 10 years— you know, 10 years earlier, he spent a lot of time in, in the hospital learning his trade. And he also at one point gave me this book called, um, Hope. The title was Hope, and it was just landscapes, and it had beautiful quotes about hope when I was going through some hard times in my teenage years. So, you know, the doctor you could wish for. So he looked at me and he saw red dots at the tips of my fingers, and he said, Carl, you've got an infection on your heart valve. You know, you've got infection on your heart. You've got to, you've got to go to the hospital. Um, so they called an ambulance, went to the hospital. Now the, the thing is, I was that sick. I don't know if anyone's been that sick where it seems like there's a vignette, you know, around the edges of your eyes and everything seems dark and cloudy and you're not really taking in reality, you know. It's like kind of like a dream, like a dream state. So, you know, none of this really concerned me or stressed me out at the time. I was just going along with it. I was, uh, on the bed and I was trying to go to the toilet. While I was in the hospital. And I said, I can't excrete, I can't excrete, to my, to my family. I said, I just can't, can't pee and poo. And, you know, um, and, um, the nurse came over and looked at my paperwork and said, what the hell are you doing here? You're supposed to be, you know, taken through to ICU. The reason you can't excrete is your organs are shutting down.

Oh gosh.

Yeah, so, so they took me through the ICU, um, And this doctor came over to me and said, Carl, we're just about to put this pipe down your throat, um, and you're just going to go to sleep. And like I said, I was so out of it, I was just like, okay, okay, right, you know. And so he did that, and my, my mother was there, my, my grandmother was there, my Australian grandmother, and my South African grandmother was over as well, um, probably all very distraught at the time. My mother did something remarkable that, that really gave me the chance to save my life and have a better life for myself. And she called, um, my stepfather. So to kind of explain the story a little bit, because it does get a bit complex, I moved over with my mother from South Africa, Johannesburg, to Sydney, Australia when I was 2 and a half. My mother married an Australian man And that's my grandparents. When I talk about my grandparents, my Australian grandparents, that's his parents. Now, you know, so my stepdad, my stepdad, she called my stepdad who was in Ireland at the time, the Australian man. So she said, this is the situation, uh, they don't actually think he's going to make it through the night. Um, you know, it's very unlikely. There's maybe, you know, there's not much percentage that he's going to make it through the surgery or make it through the night. You know, what do I do? And she always entrusted Ward, you know, my Australian stepdad, with natural health because he was a chiropractor as well, kinesiologist, and he had a lot of knowledge and understanding around natural health. And so she didn't know what to do, and he made a call over the phone and basically said he's too weak, you know, don't let them operate, which is pretty wild, you know, for a lot of people. And this could be the controversial turning point in the conversation. What I believe is, and I've seen him do this before, is he pulls his fingers together. And, you know, we're all seeking information, whether we're seeking information whether it's from universities or the internet or books or the ether. And I believe he was communicating with the ether, with, with Source, and trying to work out an answer. Because, you know, a distraught woman come, you know, distraught ex-wife coming to you trying to work out, you know, what, what do you do if you're you know, your son, your stepson. It's pretty intense. So, so he made that call. Couple— about a week later, I woke up, he came over. I remember, um, the first breakfast I had. We, we eat a lot of Weet-Bix over here in Australia. Weet-Bix is our, um, our go-to breakfast. And I remember being in the ICU ward and I had a bowl of Weet-Bix and my body just went, 'Nup,' and just puked it all up on my, on my, on my hospital gown straight away. So that was my my first experience coming out of the coma. And then, and then I saw him a little while later and he said, uh, Kyle, this is the situation. And, you know, that's when reality really struck. Um, I think beforehand I was quite sick, so, so all this information was, was, was not really resonating with me. And then when I came out of the induced coma, he told me, look, you've got a 3-centimeter bug eating a hole into your valve, into your heart, into your heart. Um, if we don't do anything about it, you're gonna die. Um, if you operate, they're gonna cut a big part of your heart off. They're gonna put metal attachments on your heart. Uh, you're gonna have a pretty compromised life. Here's all the paperwork. This is everything you need to sign if you want to go down that route. This is everything. Otherwise, if you want to try something else, there's a thing called the alkaline diet. And what I really respect about Ward is that he, he informed me of both sides, you know. He said, there's this route and that route. I'm not having any judgments and opinions on either route. I'm, I'm giving you the information. I'm informing you, you know, as an individual soul, as a man, you decide. So he told me the alkaline diet, basically you fast the body, um, you, you juice and you have alkaline you know, foods. And basically the theory behind it is that the bug has no sugar to sustain itself. It will drive the bug out. Exactly, exactly. You starve the bug, drive it out of the body. And at that stage, I'll be honest, you know, all I knew was, um, protein and eggs and, like I said, rugby. So, so I, I knew a few other things, but, you know, I didn't know much about natural healthcare. So But I went and I looked him in the eyes. I said, look, I trust you as a man, um, let's do this, let's give it a shot. Which, looking back, it's pretty wild, um, and it's definitely a risk. And, you know, I'm definitely not giving any health advice or telling people what to do with their lives, but I'm just sharing my, my experience. So he got me to start writing out, um, some of my favorite meals. You know, I love triple cheeseburgers. We've got this, this place over here in Australia called the Porto. Um, and it's, you know, creates these lovely burgers, you know, something like Burger King or, you know, um, you know. So I was like, oh great, he's taking a menu order. I was writing all these things out. He said, no, no, I want you to ooze this out of your system, you know. You, you got to get ready, you got to get your mind ready that you're going to be on a hectic juice diet.

Get ready to say goodbye.

Yeah, I found that pretty rough. I was like, damn, I thought you're taking a menu order. I guess not. So, so, um, you know, so then he, he handed me beetroot juice. I had a sip of it and instantly regretted my decision. I went, how the hell am I supposed to drink this for, for, you know, the 6 weeks that I was, I was due to be in hospital for? Um, and so, yeah, so I had beetroot juices, um, spinach juices. I had salads, vitamins. My grandmother gave me— my Australian grandmother gave me tapes All I remember is a lot of, a lot of talk about valleys and peaks. Um, and you know, I was doing visualizations, you know, I was getting educated on the heart, where the heart valves were. Um, and I couldn't have any electronic devices with me. I wanted to have my laptop, have any electronic device with me. So it was pretty rough. It was very like, how do I say, like a Buddhist minimalist sort of, um, yes, going back to source. Exactly, exactly. And really cutting everything out. So through that experience, I, I guess I realized some of my beliefs about the world weren't true. So, you know, the, the naive sort of beliefs— every fireman's a good person, every policeman's a good person, every doctor is a good person. I had some experiences during the, during the experience, during being in the hospital. You know, nurses were trying to throw my vitamins in the bin. They were saying, you know, what do I think I'm doing, trying to take my health into my own hands? Who do I think I am? Um, and for me, I was very naive, and I was like, what's going on? Like, why are they doing this? I couldn't understand, you know, I couldn't wrap my head around it. Um, at that age, I had my 19th birthday in, in the hospital. I had all my, my family and friends around. Um, and, you know, half of my friends, half my family, more than half didn't really believe in what I was doing, you know, they didn't really support me. Um, and only a small group in my family really supported me in what I was doing. Um, you know, I'd have family come up to me, kind of like, uh, having a preacher come up to you and trying to convince you to go, to go down the medical route and give this trying to heal myself up, you know, away. So, so that was pretty intense time. Um, and you know, everything was multiplicative, so it was even more intense being in the hospital and going through that. And you know, you go through extreme depression and anxiety and, and You know, I loved rugby so much. It was so strange. I just, you know, I was— that was the one thing that was kind of, you know, I say to people, if you're struggling and you're going through a hard time, put up goals in the future, you know, places you want to get to, you know, places you can look forward to. And for me, you know, I had this fantasy idea of playing rugby for the South African rugby team, you know. And I just thought, there's no matter, you know, no matter what, I'm going to make it, you know, out of all of this, in spite of this, I'm going to make it. I'm going to, you know, it's going to be a hell of a comeback, but I'm going to be able to play rugby one day. So that was my big goal that I set up for myself to try and get me through. And obviously I was focused purely on trying to get rid of this bug. So to fast-track, you know, we went in and, you know, the cardiologist came in and said, I've 'All right, you know, what are we going to do? We're going to operate, you know, I really want to operate.' And we said, 'Well, hang on a minute.' And lucky I had stepdad there. Um, you know, 'What else can we do? Are there any other options?' Um, and we kept asking, we kept asking, we kept asking. You know, you've got to ask and you've got to ask again and again. And he said, 'Look, the only thing is if the bug gets down to 0.5 centimeters, then it's a non-issue. Besides that, it's at 3 centimeters now. There's no way— it's impossible it's going to get down.' So I looked at what board and we said, great, we've got a goal, you know, get down below 0.5. 3 weeks later he comes in, says, we're going to operate, we're going to operate, you know, you know, it's been enough time now, I really want to operate. Then the bug gets down. Then, then we ask him the measurements, what's the numbers? And he wouldn't give it to us straight away, so we kept that to ask, having to ask. Eventually showed us the, the numbers and, um, the bug was at, uh, 0.2 centimeters.

Ah. Wow.

So, so, so we, you know, I was— we were cheering. We were so happy.

Yeah, that's amazing. That's amazing. I'm just getting chills on the back of my head.

Well, yeah, it's— I mean, it, it, it's, it's one of those things where experiences really are your truth, you know. I believed in him. I believed in the mission we were on, but I didn't believe that it could work. You know, so, so I believed it could work in terms of I wanted and I wished it to work, but I had no idea. It was a long shot.

Yeah. And, and that's the— well, that's part of the, the ego that wants a timeline. It wants— I have to see this to believe it.

Yeah.

But belief means it's trusting and surrendering. It's already— it's already happened. It's co-creation.

Exactly.

Yeah, that's beautiful. Thank goodness. Yeah, thank goodness for, you know, having, um, all these people protecting you and then giving you those ideas and, and helping you. That's amazing. Yeah, amazing story. I just want to say hello to a few people that have popped in. Lynn is here. Hi, Lynn. Hello. And hi, Anastasia, so glad you're here. And Connor— Connor's asking Um, he's excited about your journey and he wants to know what your driving force behind photography is.

For sure, I can answer that.

Yeah, and, and I guess we're kind of jumping over to— it's soul gazing photography. So how did that come about?

So I got into photography, um, by just taking my— taking photos of my phone. I just had this need, this desire to take photos, you know. I'd see a light hit the side of a building in a certain way, and, um, and I just want to take photographs non-stop with my phone. And then eventually, um, when I got a camera and I went and studied— I did a diploma of photo imaging. And you don't have to study, you know, a lot of the greatest photographers, people that stick around, are people that are self-taught. But during that process, one of the great things about the course is that you had to do a, a graduating project. And for my graduating project, I chose portraits, and I started capturing photographs of my family around my grandparents' house. Um, and one of the photos is, um, my grandfather.

I love that. I love that photo.

Yeah, thank you, thank you. It was, it was like, it was a special moment, you know. I came home from capturing landscape photographs, and I saw him, and he came up to me, and he had the beret on. And he's, he, he's an architect. He designed his own house. And so he had light hitting him from side lights, so one from one side, one from the other side. And I just went, Clive, you stop there, I've got to take some photos of you. And from my grandparents, you know, they were definitely well photographed, and, and they're from an era where you're not used to seeing a camera in front of your face. You know, today you are used to it. So, you know, he'd say, oh God, another one, Carl, another one.

It's kind of like with your kids in a way, like you just take all these, and then after a while they're like, no more pictures. No.

Exactly, exactly. So, so I just took a couple photographs of him, and where the name came about and photography came about was I believed if you sit with someone long enough and you take photographs and you talk to them, eventually there's a flicker, um, of a moment where you can see their soul. I believe that they show their soul, they reveal their soul, and this is very much a lot easier in elderly people and children. I also had teenagers in my project, so some of my teenage cousins, you know, it was a 2-hour process, or, you know, so you could get rid of that veil, you could get rid of those, I guess, those identities.

Yeah, or protection system, or—

yeah, correct, correct. Yeah, so, so that's where— I mean, that's where the name came from, was, uh, wanting to capture the soul and the essence of, you know, each individual's, you know, portrait.

So Yeah, wow, profound that he— your grandfather is an architect, and you know, you hear— I hear that a lot. You're the architect of your life.

Um, exactly.

Whatever you vision or goal, that's what you're building, and it's, it's already built. It's the blueprint. It's just, um, inner awakening, inner knowing. It just lights up. And I mean, what you're doing with photography is, is amazing. Um, you guys have to go to his YouTube channel and, and check all that out on his website. I think the pictures are pretty profound. Um, thanks, Christine. You're welcome. And it's interesting that, you know, you're so close to your grandparents. I, I very close with mine as well. Um, you know, and just finding out more and more about them, you know, years and years later. Of course, when you're a teenager, you don't really think about those things, right? So, um, I guess, you know, there was a couple pictures I seen, like your grandfather and, and, um, grandmother were sharing a special moment together while he was— I don't know if he was in hospice or if he was ill. It was in his bed. Can you tell a little bit more about that?

Yeah, for sure. So my grandparents really became my parents in my life. I guess I didn't really have a stable home, you know. I had quite a bit of abuse when I was younger, you know, and found myself on the streets when I was 14 in the middle of the night, nowhere to go. And I skipped a couple trains. Yeah, it was— I think at that time it was just, you know, you Someone mentioned to me the other day, I think it's grit, or you just, you just go very goal-focused and mission-focused and go, okay, I need to get inside. I'm outside late at night on the streets. I need to get inside a house somewhere. Who do I know? Um, and I knew, you know, my grandparents. So a part of my story is I moved to Ireland and spent a few years in Ireland with my stepfather and my mother. And when we came back, um, from Ireland to Australia and my mother and my stepfather split up, his parents said, you're part of the family, you know, you're, you're staying with us, we're looking after you, you're part of the family. Um, and, you know, I had no connection to them. And only a couple months later did, did my mother fall pregnant with my stepfather's son, so my half-brother. So, you know, there was no reason for them to take me in, there was no need, but that's, that's who they were, you know. They, they took us in, we lived there lived with them for about 2 years. So, you know, about 6 years later, when I, when I, when I found myself on the streets, I, um, I knew that there was one place I could go. And I skipped a couple trains. Um, not advising that.

Um, it's not what you see in the movies.

No, no, no, no, it's not, it's not. You gotta, you gotta watch out. And, um, I walked, uh, from the train station about 20 minutes to my grandparents' house, trying to remember whereabouts it was. And then I knocked on the window, early hours of the morning, um, and they opened their doors. They opened their doors for me, you know. They came down in those, in their beautiful gowns, and they opened up the doors. And, you know, during my teenage years, I went through quite a few hard hardships, um, in terms of, you know, a cousin who was like an older brother to me in South Africa was murdered when I was 16. Um, you know, I lost another grandfather, and there's a lot of death kind of surrounding my, my younger years, you know, like aunties and my grandfather in South Africa. And so I was trying to deal with all of that and being in an all-boys school and teenage years and, you know, trying to, trying to fulfill those ideologies of what a man is. And, um, you know, I kind of went into the— they say that I went into the tunnel and I think a lot of teenagers can go into the tunnel. I didn't really like that connotation, but I, you know, I would come home and I would go straight to my room. And my room in my grandparents' place was— my grandfather had his architecture room where he'd do his drawings, and towards the back of that there was like a bed and a little place for me. So I'd call it the dungeon, you know. So I'd say I'd come in the door, I'd, you know, turn left and go into the dungeon. And every time I opened that door my grandmother would shoot up, you know, this 80-year-old woman would shoot up from her seat and come to the front door and ask me how my day was, um, tell me how much she loved me, you know. And she was a counselor for about, um, you know, most of her life. She was counselor for most of her life, so she obviously knew what she was doing, um, and she was creating that space. She was opening up that, that, you know, that kind of valve that I could, um, you know, that I could slowly express to her. And eventually what happened is when I was about 18, I started to express and open up and talk to them. I'd go into their room every night, every morning, and discuss big issues in my life and things that I was tackling, and, and, and, and ask them questions and find out more about their life. And we just built this amazing bond. And, you know, a couple years, a couple years ago, my, my grandfather fell ill. And so I went back multiple times, and that's where those, those time capsule video journals came from, is I was capturing videos and interviewing them and having conversations with them, um, to keep, to keep their story alive. And, you know, I, I heard one day that he, he was in the hospital. And this is a man who, 92 years old, never really had any vaccinations, never had any medications, never had I don't think— I think he went to the hospital once for food poisoning, you know, 92 years old, just scaved by, pretty unmarked, which, you know, you think about a lot of people, you know, you know, in today's day, that's not the case, you know. So, so pretty remarkable sort of man. Um, and he was in hospital and found himself in hospital at that age, and he went downhill fast, you know. He just could not handle it. He did not want to be there. And so my stepfather, he got a hospital bed and put it in his living room and brought my grandfather out of the hospital and had him, you know, staying there. And when I spoke to him, he said to me— and I was, you know, I didn't have a lot on in Perth, but I had a few like work commitments. And, you know, he spoke to me and they put him on the phone. He said, Kyle, good luck with your photography, and, you know, good luck with your life, mate. You know, you know, and like, you know, I'll see you later. And I just broke down, you know, I was just shattered. I was like, God, that can't be the, the end of Clivey and my story with my grandfather. So I got on the plane the next day, flew over to Sydney, Sydney, and, um, and I cared for him. So me and my stepfather, his son, basically did most of the caring for him, um, which was an amazing experience, a very, very hard experience, um, and experience that you take months and years to kind of recover from. And we cared for him for, for about, you know, 2 weeks, and then, uh, then he passed. And we were there towards him passing, you know. Um, my stepfather was coaching him through, through breathwork and breathing, um, and, you know, my Grandmother was there, his wife was there, and I was there, and I was holding his hand as he passed from this earth. And I really do say it's, it's something very special. Um, obviously, obviously it's very hard. Um, and you know, the whole lead-up to it, towards the end he was very lucid. You know, he was talking about, you know, he was telling me how I'm his son and how, you know, that's his mother, pointing to his wife and saying, make sure you look after your mother. Um, he was telling me how much he loved me. Um, how much he was thankful that I came. When I, when I first saw him, he teared up and he said, 'God, Carl, you came over. You didn't have to, you know, inconvenience your life to come over.' And, you know, so, so he was a remarkable man. And, and he, and he told me, you know, 'Oh, I'm so thankful you're here. I don't know what I would have done without you.' And I just thought, you know, 'You've got so many, so much family members. I don't know why you're saying this, but, you know, it means a lot to me.' Um, you know, and I'd be basically sleeping on the floor on a couple pillows, and he'd wake up in the middle of the night yelling Guinness, Guinness, Guinness. Yeah, and he was never a drinker, you know. So this man was never a drinker, but they say, you know, as towards the end of your life, and I think when you're pregnant, you kind of, you, you desire that iron, and Guinness apparently has that iron. So, you know, at 4 AM or 3 AM, I'd hear my grandfather yell, and I'd go to the fridge and get a straw and give him some Guinness. And And he had many lucid moments, you know, family were asking what was he seeing because he was in and out of consciousness. And he kept saying, repeating that he saw Jesus by the river. And, and he, yeah, and he said he saw Jesus by the river. And he said, he said, we said, well, you know, what does he look like? And he just said, love. He's just got this love, you know, he's just got this abundant love, you know, like, and, and he was just so happy, you know, that, that, that's how happy he was. And I think for him and his family— his family, his mother was in hospital, and she was told the next day she'd be going to retirement village. And so the day that she was told, she was playing with her granddaughter, she was up and about moving around, and the next day she passed away. So his family had an amazing, you know, knack for— as soon as they wanted to go, they would go. I don't know how they would do it, but they would just leave. So he was frustrated because he was saying, you know, I've been there with other family members, I've seen them just go and they've just took one breath and they've gone. Why is it taking so long? You know, who do I have to see? Who do I have to still see? Um, but I think he was sacrificing through that pain and giving us a lot of time with him.

Wow. Who— I should have brought tissues with me today. Oh wow, beautiful. No, don't be sorry, this is the stuff we need to hear. I mean, um, profound. Um, it's almost like he was going back and trying to do the things or have the things that he didn't get to have or do in that lucidity, in a way. And yeah, he was waiting because he wanted to make sure you guys were taken care of before he, he left. And talking about Jesus and love, and, and you guys are— you're amazing to do that, um, for your grandfather. Um, to take care of them. That is such a beautiful, sacred gift that everyone should experience. And I so agree with the hospital, um, it should be a place of love and light and not a place of— I don't want to say it— death and destruction. And people just get very anxious when they go in, right? It's, it's usually a place of fear.

That's the word. Yeah.

Yeah, um, so thank you for that. Um, I'm just gonna reckon there's quite a few people that have commented or are saying hello. Lynn is saying, very interesting topic, so happy you're here to speak to us about your journey.

Thanks, Lynn.

Marianne giving you big hugs.

Thanks, Marianne.

And Marsha is saying, being given the task of taking care of your loved ones when they are ready to cross is definitely a gift and a privilege. Very well said. It's an honor, absolutely. Um, and how everyone should be like cradled and— oh gosh, getting choked up. You know, when you first have your child and they're in your arms, it should be the same way. Yeah, when somebody leaves.

Exactly, 100%. You know, you need that. It's, it's a, it's a scary time. It's it's, you know, anxious and, and there's pain and there's a lot of things going through and you need that company in them, you know. You need, you need comfort. And for me, my grandparents were there every single day when I, when I was in hospital. And with my, with my heart story, about a year later I eventually went and had, um, open heart surgery to repair my valve.

You did? Okay.

And, and they were the two people that took me, you know, the two people that took me, the two people I didn't want anyone else knowing. I just wanted to keep it very you know, very positive going into the surgery, and they were there, you know. So, so they were always there for me, you know, and, and there was no way that I wasn't going to be there for them.

Wow, wow, that's such a sacred, you know, bond across all timelines. Um, thank you for sharing that with us. And, uh, Lynn's getting hit in the feelers too.

Sorry, guys.

No, don't be sorry. We need to— you know, these are beautiful vulnerable moments that, you know, everyone needs to, to connect with, right? And to honor you as, as, as a human being, you know, the things that you did and you went through and how you're honoring your soul through telling, telling the stories, right? So, um, yeah, that's a beautiful story. Sounds like he passed peacefully and consciously. Yeah.

Yeah, we're very lucky, very lucky, very lucky. And you know, I just want to say as well, I think, you know, it's a very positive story and it's, and it's, and it's, it's a special moment. Um, and for anyone who's going through this or, or, or who's going through some hard times, one thing that I realized is, and I had other people around me, other people love me, and you might think that because you've had such closure that you're okay But there were parts of me that changed, and there are parts of me emotionally that shut off, and parts of me that didn't fully heal and resolve, you know, even a year later. And close people to me saying, you know, you've changed, you've changed a bit, you know. And so I think one thing that you learn in your life and your journey is you always have to go back and do the work. You have to go back in and do the work and clear, clear, clear, you know, the heartache and, and cry, or whatever it is for you. You know, at the time I was going for a run every day to kind of get rid of some of that emotional angst. Um, but yeah, you know, that we're here to heal, I think, and there's always healing to be done, um, regardless of how much closure you've had. I mean, I, I lost my, my older cousin who's like a brother to me, and I had no closure, and that really messed me up. But then even though I had closure with my grandfather, there's still healing to be done. You know, because we always— you, you can— we can all be affected.

Yes, it's, it's continuous, just like learning. We're, we're a student of the universe.

Exactly.

And it never ends.

No, no.

Um, Lynn is just saying, don't be sorry, I was there when both parents passed and it's just bringing back some memories.

That's beautiful.

Yeah, I remember that too, and I wish I had, you know, had the— I mean, I still, of course um, talk to my grandparents. But to have that experience, that's pretty amazing. Pretty amazing. Um, so what— there's a book that you're writing?

Yes, yes.

And it's called Decide— is it Decide Your Destiny?

Correct, correct.

Okay, do you want to talk a little bit about that?

Yeah, for sure. So the name itself came about from the man of the hour who we're talking about, my grandfather. Um, I was sitting down on the couch in his living room, and how he designed his house, he had lots of glass, so there was always lots of light that was entering the living room space, and it made the, the house seem so much bigger and larger than it was. We were sitting on the couch, and, and he turned to me, and, you know, his sun-kissed face, you know, the light was inside his face, and he, he looked in my eyes, and he just spoke these words, and he just said decide your destiny. And, you know, I was about 18 at the time, and I said, yeah, I said, what would you take? Like he said, yeah, I was like, what? And he said, decide your destiny. And he said, make sure in your life that whatever you do, that you decide your destiny. And, and he had like this boyish smile on his face. I, I don't know what it was. I don't know. I can't go inside of him and what he was experiencing. Maybe he was experiencing, you know, what do I give this boy? What wisdom do I give this boy? What do I share with him that could be be great for his life. But he just shared that with me, you know. And, um, and for a kind of a stoic figure and, and a man that didn't share, that didn't have as many words as his wife, you know, like my grandmother would talk a lot, a lot, and I could talk a lot too, you know. So, so me and her would talk and talk and talk. So I didn't have a lot of words, but those words were very powerful. So in terms of Decide Your Destiny, you know, the book that I'm, I'm It's a book on belief and, you know, inspiring people to, you know, make the most of every single heartbeat that they have in their life, you know. And in every single heartbeat, you have the choice, you know, to succumb to apathy or to rise above, you know, everything that you, you've gone through and inspire yourself and inspire others. And so, you know, the book covers youth, younger years, going through those hardships Um, it goes through to my heroes, people like my grandparents, and then my heart and soul story, you know, healing myself naturally. And then it doesn't end there, you know, because I had, I had surgery, then I had quite a few multiple surgeries, and you know, it's heart management for life, same as mindset management, you know, soul management. You're managing your heart health for life now. So, so everything that I've learned, everything I've been taught, all the wisdom that my grandparents shared with me I'm putting into that book to help other people. So it's a memoir, but it's very focused on the lessons and the takeaways and things that can help other people.

Beautiful. I love that. Every heartbeat, you know. And I just think of heart intelligence. Um, yeah, that's, you know, the, the biggest, you know, the, the biggest and, um, the broadest, spectrum and the easiest thing to tap into. Whereas, you know, the ego wants to go with the mind always, and it has to be scientific, and it has to be it. And the heart's just like bypasses it all and says, I don't think so, you know, I feel so, this is how it works.

Exactly, exactly. And, and the heart intelligence was me of hearing my grandfather on the phone and going, I need to go over to Sydney and be with him. And the, and the head intelligence was, I've got a few things that I've committed to, I can't let people down because I don't want to be the person that lets people down, you know. So, so maybe I'll go next week.

Yes.

You know, and who knows if I would have had next week. So, so that was, that's a pure example.

Yeah, that was a cat, you know, catalyst, like a, a destiny moment, as, as your grandfather would say. You decided, you decided, and thank Thank goodness for that. I'm just looking behind you. You've got, I don't know what that is. Is that a list of affirmations or is that goals or what is that?

Yeah. So that's a list of my non-negotiables. So in terms of some things on there, it's committing 100% to all the relationships in my life. To remain free with creative expression and flowing, um, energy in my life. And, and so there, there are a list of about, you know, 26 non-negotiables that I, that I try and read out every day. And then I've got a list of about 16 affirmations that I read out every day. Um, it might sound a bit funny, but I read it out in the mirror.

No, you need to remember that because again, you know, you start going into autopilot and you forget all those things. So you need to Ah, yes, it becomes imprinted. It's just something you say all the— something you know all the time because you've done the work, done the work, done the work. Um, there's two questions I always ask my guests towards the end, um, just as a surprise.

Okay, cool.

How can we as a collective energy help make your dreams come true?

I guess for me it would be getting more in tune with your heart and soul, you know, really, really trying to understand that, sitting with yourself, sitting with your space. For me, when I started writing this book, I was sitting down and I went, you know, I've been through these near-death experiences, I've had amazing people in my life, I've had, um, incredible hardships that have taught me great lessons. But what can I do that is aligning with my life? What can I do that's going to align with my soul and my purpose and the reason I'm here on this earth in this time? And that's when the book started to come out. So, you know, if you can align more with your heart and soul— and, you know, I'm not, I'm not, you know, I'm not saying get away from the mind, but, you know, having a strong mind and having a correct mindset and having clarity with your mind— I mean, I go for a run every morning to have clarity in my mind. So but just connecting with your heart and soul, connecting those other parts. Because we, we are very physical, we operate in a very physical realm a lot of the time. And I think we're kind of transcending to accepting heart and soul. And you're getting different people and different leaders and, and different aspects opening up. You know, for me to share my heart story, I didn't feel comfortable when I was going through it at that age, you know, because it just didn't seem like it was— it wasn't a welcome truth, you know. A truth nonetheless, but not a welcome truth that you can heal your heart naturally. Um, so now I feel like I can, and the space is there. I think the energy is there. I think the transcendence is there. And I think, you know, these last few years have taught people a lot of things. And having that introspection to go into your heart and soul and, and see how you can connect with other people, I think that's— yeah, that would be my request.

Love it. Thank you so much. And yeah, I agree with all of it. Great message. What does magic mean to you?

Brilliant questions. I'm liking these surprises. Just buying myself some time to think about it. Sure.

Yeah. No, it's all good. Everybody has a different understanding or feeling about it.

Being vulnerable would probably be magic for me. I think You know, when you're vulnerable and when you're authentic, you can become more of you. And when you become more of you as a person and you show up each day more as who you are, you know what you want. So you're not going through in life, you know, programmed by your outer, outer environment. You know, you're, you're self-programming what, what you want in your life. And being vulnerable is a huge thing. And it's a hard thing, I know, you know, trying to be vulnerable. And we, we all want social acceptance, you know, that goes right back to our caveman era when, you know, you— if you weren't accepted in the tribe, you, uh, you didn't get to eat the cow or whatever. So yeah, exactly, exactly. But I think the way the world is today, it's connected so well that you can find your tribes, you can find your communities, you can find your groups of people who are not going to judge you off labels and and, and what your beliefs are. And, you know, I think at the end of the day, you know, you can believe that clouds are really, you know, cows in the sky. I don't care, as long as you're a kind human being and you, you know, you're interested in developing yourself and working on yourself and, and giving your gifts to the world. I think that's, that's the most important thing. So being vulnerable is magic. Um, it opens you up to an abundant wealth of of self-realization, actualization, and, and creativity. And it opens you up to connect to so many souls and hearts.

Love that. That's a beautiful— yeah, exactly. Vulnerability, authenticity, where in a world that tries to make you otherwise or think otherwise or feel otherwise. Yeah, but you already are. I love that. You already are magical. Oh my goodness. Well, thank you so much for being here. I appreciate you, your story. There is so much story, guys. I mean, we just— like they say, you see the tip of the iceberg. What's underneath? Yeah, so much, so much depth.

Thank you.

And I did leave links for your website and all your social media. Um, is there anything else you'd like to share with us before we go?

Yes, I mean, if people are interested, every day I do a, um, the Decide Your Destiny Daily Dose. So I an inspirational message from the day. And I usually take something out of the day that I've learned, or, you know, it can be a challenge. It can be a day where I got up and I didn't get up, you know, jumping out of the bed, and it was a tougher day. And I try and compact that into about a 5-minute little inspirational message. So, you know, if people want to kind of view that or, you know, leave a comment, let me know what you think of that. And I've, you know, this book is coming out in April, towards the end of April. And yeah, I'm really gun-hoing to get that message out and just try and inspire more people and constantly be inspired. You know, I'm inspired by you, Christine, and inspired by the comments today from the people. So yeah, thank you.

I'd love to read. I love reading. So the book, I'd love to have a copy when it's ready.

I'll send you a copy.

I'll be sharing it with friends, obviously, and anyone else. Lynn is just saying thank you for sharing your story today, Kyle, and thank you Christine J Gold for finding this gem. You're a gem.

Thanks, Lynn. She's gonna make me blush here.

And Marsha, thank you so much for being vulnerable today and sharing your story.

Thanks, Marsha.

And Chris, thank you so much for sharing. Wonderful. Thank you for, you know, all of you being here. If you're on the replay, if you have any questions, please ask. I just have a few housekeeping items at at the end. Um, yes, it is March and I did do an energy update, so head over to my YouTube channel and there's about 5 different themes, and then there's some cards that go along with that energy. I'm just tapping into what's going on, what's happening, and there's a lot of insight as well. Uh, every Saturday I do a free Zoom group. It's an hour of Unleashing Your Soul's Purpose. It's a great group for you, us empaths. It's a safe space to connect, to collaborate, to co-create, and to learn something. I mean, we learn about shamanism, we learn about the full moon, we learn about chakras, whatever it is, intuition, you name it, we're going to talk about it. And 2021 Dream Vision Map is coming again because we did in January. Now we're following up to see what's going on in March, if we need to tweak some of your goals, your visions, your blueprint. And, um, again, this is a co-creative process. It is free. So comment, uh, Dream Vision Map if you'd like a link for that. Comment Soul's Purpose if you'd like a link to this group as well. And I am still taking, of course, one-on-one mentorships all year round, and Our group is closed right now, but it will reopen in April. So stay tuned for that. So if you're looking for 6 weeks of mentorship and guidance on how to find your magic, find your soul's purpose, and to unleash your intuition, comment magic. All right, well, thank you so much, uh, again, Kyle. I'm gonna be following your vlogs and your daily inspirations, and you guys should too if you're looking for, you know, a little pep talk, I guess, in the morning and some connection. But, uh, it was so nice having you on, and I'm sure there's going to be stuff in the future that we're going to collaborate together. I already have some things going on in the background I'm thinking about. So, all right guys, take care, uh, stay safe as always, and please remember, healing begins where the ego ends. Sending lots of love.

Thank you.