How are you sabotaging yourself?

Hello, hello everyone and welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome. It is Wednesday and every Wednesday we have a live of some type. Now as I'm continuing to travel across Ecuador, I'm in Canoa, a lovely oceanfront right now. You can't see it, but just take that in. I mean, I've been sharing some videos with you guys. I've been sharing, uh, this on Instagram and Facebook as well, but also on YouTube. So yeah, let us know where you're from. If you are new, say hello. If you want exclusive shoutouts and perks there's emojis, there's the tip jar, there's all of that. So I would absolutely love your support because I am needing to upgrade some of my equipment, you know, the camera, maybe the microphone, but definitely the computer or the laptop, um, as I'm, you know, going to be recording more courses and content and building our community. You can find out more about that on the links below, joining our community however you'd like to do that, whether it's here or on Patreon. Or I'm also building a Soul Healers Club, which is going to have exclusive content, connection, community co-creation. So, and really my ultimate goal, and I never ask is to have a spiritual healing center for all sentient beings so we can all gather together. I can help animals that need help, um, and of course people, but my clients as well, to come here on a retreat, whether it's going to be in Ecuador, maybe it's going to be in Peru, maybe it's going to be in Colombia. I don't know yet. So, um, I mean, where I'm staying right now, Kanoa Suites, you guys have been amazing. Um, I'm just giving them a shout out because exceptional, um, where I'm staying, and, uh, and I'm very, very appreciative of where I am. All right, so let's talk about saboteur. Do you sabotage yourself? Do you sabotage others? I mean, these are two different, completely different questions, but they have the same context, meaning you are diverting your energy in the wrong places. You are splitting off in a sense, you are letting ego take the wheel, whereas Spirit, Source, God, I surrender, takes the wheel. So, and the reason I bring that up, because, you know, I've been traveling for— I can't believe it's been 5 months already that I left Canada, and No, I don't think I'm coming back. I really don't. And why would I? That's a whole nother show. Um, if you ever want to talk about it, comment below. Maybe on the replay this might be a, a private community chat about that. But, um, ah, you know, it's been an adventure, but it's also been lonely. Not speaking the language, you know, Spanish. I'm learning, I'm working on it, poquito, you know, Google Translator, all of that. But a lot, like, some points I'm like, okay, maybe I'm ready to go home. And then I'm like, but where's home? And then home is always here. So So it's a feeling. Um, I've always had a gypsy soul, gypsy heart. So when you talk about saboteur, meaning, oh, you know what, this is too hard, I give up, this is too much, I give up, I don't want to go there, I give up, I'm tired, I want to give up, I'm lonely, I'm disappointed. I mean you know, list of feelings. Um, almost done this book, the Compassion book. I don't know if any of you have read it by Tom Bohn, but it is amazing. And, you know, feelings, feelings, real important here. Um, I've been going through lots, um, especially with the last, uh, powerful full blood moon lunar eclipse. Who, you know, myself, my clients, we're all feeling this. Um, so I guess it's just a reminder to feel, because when you don't feel, that's how you can become your own worst enemy. You can become your own worst inner critic. And my God, there's enough critics out there already. We don't need any more. We need cheerleaders. We need people that lift each other up. We need people to— we just need people. We need each other more than we think we do. So feel those feelings, and if they are overwhelming, let's connect and let's get you back into the body. Because if it's overwhelming, that means you've basically been the saboteur and have disassociated yourself from I hear my mom coming in. I'm not going there. She used to say that a lot. I'm not going there. She didn't want to go there. She didn't want to deal with all of her trauma. She didn't want to unpack all that. I get it, it's heavy. And sometimes it feels like the suitcase is— it has a whole, you know, it's like Santa's sack. How did he get all those toys in there? You know, as you keep taking traumas out It— there's more. It just keeps popping up and popping up. And really, that's why we're here— healing journey. But we are the finder, not the seeker anymore. Find what works for you and stop sabotaging yourself. You are doing this because you don't believe you are worthy. You don't believe that you have grace. You don't believe that you deserve. You have no deservability. And I'm not talking about entitlement, I'm talking about being a perfect holy child of God, and you already are. Can you receive that today? Can you receive that today? Hope on a rope. Hope on a rope. Um, I record, uh, 30— where did this come from? I record 30-minute sessions for my Patreon supporters, and the one today, that, that's what stuck with me, is hope on a rope. Not soap on a rope. I mean, there's a reason there was soap on a rope, that's another discussion, but hope, like finding something tangible and and holding on to it. Because once you have hope, hope turns into faith. And once you have faith, faith is filled and fueled in every fiber, every fiber of your— and cell of your being. It becomes part of your DNA. I mean, Alberto Villoldo says you can regrow a body, you can regrow yourself. I mean, the body already regenerates itself every couple years depending on what part or organ it is. So why can you not do it here? Why can you not do it here? Mind, body, spirit, why can you not do it? Because— and the only— there's a few, but the one that I know of, um, the one that I know of is the cat. Cats love boxes. But on their terms. So, um, the Merriam-Webster's definition of a saboteur is a person who destroys or damages something deliberately, a person who performs sabotage, um, like a demolisher, a desecrator, a despoiler, a destroyer, a ravager, a ruiner, a waster, a wrecker, a vandal, maybe a They even got someone who does graffiti, or a tagger. That's interesting. So do you know, it, it sounds very destructive, but you know what, in our day-to-day lives we do it here and there. We do it by saying yes when we want to say no, going along with it, biting our tongue. You know, always being nice, giving, giving, giving, while people take, take, take. You have to have some boundaries, and then you can recognize the saboteur and where you sabotage yourself, and maybe even have a timeline. Interesting, I'm bringing up a timeline where you have done so, or maybe you felt someone has done to you, but you really— you did to yourself first, and you kind of broadcast that out for others to think of. A narcissist— why do you keep attracting them? And I understand, um, I did the same thing, so— and now I'm— I say no a lot. And what is the opposite, the antonym, the opposite for saboteur? Conserver. Where can you conserve your energy? Where can you conserve your time? Where can you conserve your resources? Preserver. Same thing, preserving. Maybe like a life preserver. When you're going to throw yourself a lifeline. Protector. When are you going to protect this? Protect your time, protect your energy, protect, preserve, conserve. Saver. When are you going to save? Now I'm not talking about saving other people, I'm talking about yourself. Yourself, because no, no, honey, no one's coming to save you, okay? And I'm talking about saving money and, you know, your physical being, well-being, your mental well-being, all of it— mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, financially, and in relationships. All of it. All of it. Ah, and then they have a preservationist Um, again, all of those are, are very relevant. Maybe take one that, you know, resonates with you. And I want to also talk about non-feeling words, like not— we have feelings, but these are non-feeling words: abandoned, abused, attacked, belittled, betrayed, blamed, bullied, caged, boxed in, cheated, coerced, cornered, criticized, discounted, diminished, disliked, distrusted, dumped on— I hear that one sometimes— harassed, hassled, ignored, insulted, interrupted, intimidated, and unaccepted. That's a lot of words. So you can check in with your feelings. Your feelings are attached to your needs, and then you can figure out what feelings and needs are associated with each of those non-feeling words. Those are a lot of non-feeling words. They— we just throw things out. We sometimes don't know what they mean or what we actually need intuitively until we stop and look around and pay attention. And as I was walking on back from the beach, I had a song come in. And many times Spirit— that's how Spirit talks to me. I have multiple songs a day depending on what's going on, and definitely for clients as well, because there's messages in, in the lyrics and the songs to a memory, to a feeling. To a loved one that's crossed over. They're trying to reach you. They're trying— they're saying, hello, is there anybody there? So answer the call. So as I was walking, I kept hearing, follow your heart. I'm like, okay, follow your heart. Oh, I kind of know that song. I think it's a rock song. But then I changed it— hollow your heart. And I'm like, okay, why am I hollowing my heart? What does that mean? That means stop putting putting crap into boxes and compartmentalizing everything. It's time to open them all up. It's time to open everything up and dig and excavate and get underneath to whatever's buried, because that's a true Scorpio trait. It's all the underground stuff, all those uncomfortable truths, those conversations, those feelings there, and the grief and the trauma and whatever else that you've held on to. Because you didn't want to go there. Well, we got to go there to hollow the heart so we can follow the heart. You have to unload whatever is heavy, right, to feel lighter, to feel brighter, to feel more connected to yourself. So follow your heart. First thing that came up was Scorpion's song. I had no idea they did a song called Follow Your Heart in 2017. It's an amazing song. Go check it out. I was like, wow. And, and they put it to this lyric video with swans and feathers. It's very spiritual. They have always been that way. Many musicians are spiritually connected, channeling, psychic, intuitives, mediums. We all are. We all are. And then I was like, no, this song is like rock, rock, rock. So then I'm like, maybe it's hardened my heart. No, that's actually very much a pop song from 1981 by a band called Quarter Flack, Pardon My Heart. So I'm like, okay, keep searching. And that's what I am. I'm a— I'm an excavator. I'm a digger, you know. I— when I go into something, I go all in. I don't just skim the surface. And that's how I work with my clients as well. If you're not ready to do the work I'm not interested. Uh, Triumph, Follow Your Heart, another '80s hair band. Uh, well, no, it was more '70s, '80s, but yeah. And I'm like, oh my God, Follow Your Heart, that's what it is! Because he goes, follow your heart, you know, and like he gets right into it. So I'm like, that's the song, but two other songs that were intertwined into it, so I started with Scorpion's Follow Your Heart, I went to Quarterflash Harden My Heart, and then I went to Triumph Follow Your Heart. I'm like, yay! Anyways, it's the little things, people. It's the little things that matter so much. So I made those connections. So I guess what I'm asking, uh, what kind of connections are you making on a daily basis? How does spirit show up for you? Um, you know, that the saboteur is, is the ego. It's not the enemy. But, you know, I'd say 80% of the time, you know, your thoughts are, are negative, or we're feeling grief, or we're feeling sadness, we're feeling loss, we're feeling all these things. And where are they coming from? Um, and, and collective grief, you know, I read this today. I, I follow You Bible. It's an app on my phone. It's amazing. It's where I get a lot of my prayers and meditations, inspirations from, and scripture. And basically, if you are, you know, in, in grief, in a collective grief, you're actually letting Source down. You're letting God down in a sense, because there is no grief. There is no mental illness. There is— you're detached from your own spiritual self. You're detached from God. You're detached from Source. That's the grief you're feeling because you're not connected. You're not plugged in. From someone that was, you know, had mental illness, yes, I, I will say, I will say that. Take your medications, whatever it is. I'm not saying don't do that. I'm not a doctor by any means. All I know is through my own trials, this is what, what has worked for me, and this is what has worked for all of my clients, because it's spirituality first, not last. It's not last. It should always have been first, but society makes it last. Anyways, so maybe you want to share with me who your saboteur is. Is it yourself? Is it someone outside of you? Is it family? Is it work? Is it school? Maybe it's your friends, so-called friends. Um, just pay attention to the red flags. Hear, hear. Follow your heart. If it feels yucky, something's not right. You need to look into that. And that's how I, I guide my life, whereas I would just have blinders on and just follow everybody else. Well, I'm not following anymore. No more. All right, I hope you have an amazing week. Wherever you are in the world. Share with me below, I'd love to hear it. Share this out, uh, hit of course likes, and as they say, um, do you want to smash the button? I don't want to smash nothing. You can gently tap the subscribe button and share this with whoever you'd like. And if you would like a personal session with myself, if you'd like to be part of the Soul Healers Club and our Unleash Our Souls Purpose Unleash Your Gold community. All the links are below. I'd love to see you at one point. And if not, if you want to— funny— you want to lurk in the background, that's fine until you know, like, and trust me. I get it. I was like that too. So, all right, I'm sending you lots of love. Please remember, healing begins where the ego ends, and let me be your soft landing, because you don't need to hit rock bottom.