I Came Back to God and Everything Changed

Hello, happy Easter if you celebrate. Definitely a time for resurrection, and really that's different for everybody. Um, I guess I would love to know what it means to you. But really, I wanted to talk about something I don't share often, is my journey back to God, back to Source, back truly back to myself, because really it's nothing outside of me. It's already been, it's here, it's always been, just many times We are not paying attention. We are lost. We're in the desert, as they say. But I believe that at any time we can choose to rise, to resurrect, to begin again. To take one small step forward, whatever that happens to be. So if you're here, let me know where you're from. Let me know if you celebrate Easter. Maybe share a little bit of your story as well. I mean, really, that's— I feel that we're here for is everybody has a story Everybody has a voice. Everybody has something to share. And I feel it's really important to feel that you're in an authentic space, place, relationship with others and even yourself to be able to share that, to be yourself, to feel comfortable, to not feel judged. And I grew up in a family where we just, we just didn't talk about religion or God or Jesus, Yeshua, the Bible, whatever it happens to be. It wasn't part of our world, and it almost felt atheist. And I'm not knocking anybody who is, honestly. So I came to faith The long way around, you know that there's been so many artists that have created songs about the long and winding road, and really that's what life is about. Sometimes you're on top of the mountain, sometimes you're in the valley. Squiggles all around. Hello Potato, I see you. Thanks for being here. And when my son was younger, like I'm talking he wasn't even a year old, I was going through something really hard. In fact, I was leaving a narcissistic relationship, an abusive relationship. And I found it really hard. So I found myself in a church and I don't remember the dominant, you know, the nomination, denomination, whatever. And I got baptized. But what I thought was really interesting was they said I had to know who Jesus was before I was baptized. But then if you talk to other people, they say, no, you get baptized when you're a baby. Do you see how, um, it felt real until it didn't, right? It didn't stick. Why? Because I went to— I'm like, well, why would you say that? I thought this 'we love everyone, we welcome everyone.' It wasn't— 1 1 doesn't equal 3. The math wasn't mathing for me. So I feel that was part of it, and I walked away again. I did this many, many times because I would find people who claim to love God, to know God, and then to judge and to criticize and to be hurtful and to be shameful. And it was all based in their fear and judgment. Unfortunately, that's what I've come to know. So for years I kept that door closed. And then about 8 years ago, someone started talking about God, but the way he talked about God didn't feel outside of me. God is me and I am God. Yes, are we not? And about Christ Consciousness— now people lose their minds over that word, those two words together as well. See, anytime you're living outside of what the Bible talks about, or about just love in general, you know that you're not actually living in alignment with love, with Source. And he talked about it in such a way I could finally receive the message. It permeated my soul and something finally cracked open, and this time it stuck. And here's what I want to say today, on this day specifically. We spend too much time focused on the cross, the suffering, the blood, the grief. And yes, that matters, but today it isn't about the cross, people. It is not about the cross. Today is— it's about the empty tomb. Today it's about resurrection. Rising, risen. And that's what mean— that's what it means to me. Every day, literally, you get out of bed, you're rising, you're resurrecting a new day, a new chapter, a new self. This is your day to shine. Like, yeah, rise and shine. Literally rise and shine. Thank you. Um, yeah, and unfortunately Unfortunately. And you know what, I don't have a label. I don't use— for me, religion, it doesn't— I don't even like the word religion. It's about love. And I really make people angry when I say God has no religion, because what was religion based on? Scarcity, lack, fear, judgment, shame, killing, death. I mean, everybody loved Jesus until they didn't, right? So I'm sorry, that story, yeah, there's truth in that story. I recognize a lot of it, but the parts of the judgment and the fear and the darkness and the negativity, I don't. Not at all. And really, what does that mean to me? What it means for all of us is just when you think something is dead and done, it never is. It never is. The dream that you buried isn't dead. The joy that got crushed, it's not dead. The version of you that you left behind, you can rise too. That is the miracle of this day. And if you want to take it into every day, even better. And really, what does it come down to? It comes down to choice. What are you choosing? Are you choosing fear? Are you choosing lack? Are you choosing control? 'Cause guess what? You're not in control of anything. And nobody has the power or the authority to take and make you angry or fearful or less than. You choose that. So where's your focus? Is it on the inside? Because it's always been an inside job. You can turn around and blame the economy, the politicians, religion, family, other people, circumstances, the chaos of the world. We are not meant to see the chaos of the world, by the way. How could it not be triggering for people? But that's part of it. You're, you're being pulled into the fear narrative, and it is a narrative. And if you get hooked here in the mind, then you just keep ruminating and ruminating, and then you start going down this spiral. Down. Healing spiral is up, up, up. So wherever you are in your journey, whether faith is something you're just brushing up against, or something you've held for decades. I want you to receive this today. Rising is always available to you. Always. Not just Resurrection Sunday, but every Sunday, every day, every day. And these days, these special days, whatever you want to call them, are just for you to remember who you truly are. Who you truly are— a beautiful soul with so much power, with so much abundance, with so much grace. Don't forget that grace. And what does grace mean to you? Yeah, belief, belief. Do you believe what people tell you you are, or your family? Um, if you're not successful, then you're nobody. If you're not a doctor, you're not allowed to live in our house. You know, I hear these things from other people, and I couldn't— I cannot imagine how devastating it is to not be yourself. So I guess this is like your space here right now. Maybe you can share something with me. Where you are in the world. How did you grow up with, um, not even religion, I would say more like tradition. And you can start a new tradition at any time. And I know that there's a lot of people that don't celebrate Easter. There's a lot of people that are estranged from their family. Or they're going through death, a death in the family, grief, things. You're— you— when a death happens in the family or somebody you know and love, or maybe you didn't know, it really strips away at what isn't working in your life. I truly believe that. And in the ordinary Tuesday mornings, in the quiet decision to try one more time, I guess that's what I'm leaving for you is the moment you choose against all evidence, against the grief and the exhaustion, the very reasonable arguments for staying small. I hear that a lot. I used to do it. If I stay small, then they won't notice me. I won't be attacked. I won't be shamed and blamed and abused. I think that's another one, um, because that's what they want, whoever they are. And it really goes back to claiming your power, remembering who you are. Remember that you were born perfect, perfectly. There is no imperfection. The imperfection is thinking that you are not. And going to the thinking mind again, we got to live in the heart. You really have to live in the heart. And I get the ick factor when, like, for example, I'm in a business cohort and they say, well, you have to rely on data and numbers and the plan. And not intuition. So that, to me, that's very dismissive because we're all intuitive. The fact that they're trying to just use logic is not logical. How about that? Hello from Bangladesh, beautiful place. Have not been there. Although I spent some time in Asia, in Bali, I do travel around the world. I actually have a retreat in Japan coming up in September. So yeah, Dr. Temple Grandin is an inspiration for us all. For somebody that was born, was told that you're— I don't like the word— not smart and always will not be smart. She turned that into a superpower. Don't you just love it when people win? Don't you just love it when people say, oh, they'll never amount to anything, and then they rise, they resurrect? That— those are the kind of stories I love, people winning. Whatever that means to them. And really, it's none of my business other than to support people. And I want everyone to win, whatever that happens to be. So what are you allowing to stay dead? Because I think about the women who came to the tomb, you know, the tomb where Jesus was that morning. They came to grieve. They came prepared for the end. They bought— they brought their burial, burial spices. For heaven's sakes, they were ready to tend to something dead, and the tomb was empty. Can you imagine a miracle? I wonder how many of us are still carrying our burial spices. We're still grieving the dream we buried years ago, still performing the funeral rites for the relationships, for the career, for the version of ourselves that we decided was too broken, too late, too far gone to come back. But what if it isn't? What if the thing you've already eulogized— that's a word— is still alive? It's there, it's waiting in the dark. It's like the seeds you plant in a garden. Do you dig it up to see if it's growing? No, you tend to it, you nurture it, you love it. That's you. You are the seed. How can you embody that feeling? You're just getting ready to walk out into the light. You are the light. And I'm not being dismissive about real grief. Some things do end, and there's a reason for it. I always feel that a closed door is protection. And redirection. Stop knocking on the wrong door. And I've watched enough people, women especially, who lived enough of my own story to know that we are far too quick to pronounce that things are dead. We mistake dormancy for death. We mistake a tomb for a grave. Think about the mighty mushroom. It grows and thrives in the dark, does it not? So 8 years ago, my faith rose from the dead. From the dead. I buried it, said my goodbyes, and I moved on. And then something or someone called it back. I love that. Don't dismiss that. When things come back to you, there's a reason. Most times you're not done with it. So, and, and 5 years ago I got sober. No more drinking. That was resurrection too. A self I thought was lost coming back to the surface, blinking in the light. So my business, my voice, my sense of belonging in my own body after a lifetime of running from it. All of it has been, in its own way, a resurrection story. And I want that for you. So whatever is sitting in the tomb right now, whatever you have wrapped up in burial cloths and said goodbye to, I want you to consider just for today that it might not be finished. You're not finished. The stone can be rolled away. Rising is always available to you, not just on Resurrection Sunday, but— and not just in the big dramatic Hollywood. I mean, Hollywood kind of ruined a lot of things for people. In the ordinary Tuesday morning, or maybe for you it's Monday morning, whatever it happens to be, How can you rise? Honestly, a new day, I'm so thankful. Thank you for this day, because I received a gift. I'm alive. But a lot of us don't see it that way. We're just, we are just like this. And you miss so many things when you're like this. You have no peripheral vision. You cannot rise above whatever is going on here to see the big picture. I think that's the most important thing. So I just found it very interesting at the beginning of this live, which I don't go live very often. If you enjoy lives, let me know. Is there a topic I have not spoken about? Although I have over 1,000 videos, so you might want to go back and have a look. At the beginning of this, people were asking me, well, what religion are you? That's not what this is about, and we have to stop asking people what their religions are. We have to, we have to reframe that. What do you believe in? Who are you as a soul? Those are the questions we need to be asking. What do you do for work? What's the weather like? No, sorry, those are surface questions. How can you ever get to know somebody at a deeper level if you're asking those types of questions? Doing a compassionate inquiry, like, when I meet somebody, how would I like them to ask? How would— how am I letting people know who I am? What kind of questions would I want to be asked? That's where you need to go. And then you start practicing that. Not— I mean, I used to do this with my boys. I wouldn't ask them, "How's your day?" because I'd get a "uh." I'd be lucky if I got a word. You ask open-ended questions, then they have to think. So like, "What was the best part of your day?" or "What was a win for you? What was a loss for you?" What's the best way to support you? And a lot of, lot of us, we don't know. We're not sure because no one's ever asked us that. I, I've never been a surface type person, and I, I feel that's why I walk alone a lot of times, and that's fine. I mean, Jesus had tons of people around him But he really was alone. He really was. So on this Resurrection Sunday, I would just love to know what's rising for you. How can we look at resurrection rising above, coming out of the tomb in a different way. What does that look like for you? What are you struggling with? What questions do you have for me and for the community? I brought my loving rose quartz with me today because it's really about compassion and love and joy. I mean, joy is in the small things. Joy— I mean, if we— if you have no joy in your life, again, a compassionate inquiry would be really good. Why is that? What's going on in your life? I mean, doctors need to ask, start asking questions like that too. You know, when someone comes to you that's depressed, you don't just write them a prescription for medication. You start asking, what's going on in your life? Are you working? What has changed in the last few months? What's going on, right? Doctors need to think that way, but unfortunately they've been trained and ingrained and repressed and suppressed to just follow follow the medical model. Well, I'm sorry, but you're failing. Medical model doesn't cover the emotional, the spiritual, the financial, the relationships, right? It does not. And if you're not getting the answers you want and you're feeling dismissed by doctor, go keep going. Until you find the doctor. Until you find the doctor. Hi, Carrie Berry, thank you for being here. Hi, Kay. Yeah, we're just talking about resurrection and what that means, and I'm taking the whole religion piece out of it, and that might just offend some people. But don't go looking for ways to be offended because there's lots of ways in this world. Instead, be curious like a child and wonder how people come to know God, Jesus, Yeshua, Christ, whatever the label is, whatever the name is, it doesn't matter. What matters is, are you living the resurrection? Are you embodying everything that Jesus stands for? Practicing non-judgment, love, peace, connection, bridging, service. Are you practicing that, or do you just do that when you're in church? Because let me tell you, I've been to a lot of churches And they're all shiny on the outside, but once you get to know them, unfortunately, they start judging, they start shaming, they start labeling, they start excluding. And that's why I've never found a church I liked, because they do not walk the walk and talk the talk like Jesus does. Just think about him at the table with Paul and everyone around him and other people that, you know, they just, they're just regular people and they're at the table. And that's what authenticity is, not being like, I welcome all except that person. No, not that person because of this. Sorry, eh, eh, you are not living, you are not embodying love. Somewhere along the way you have, I call it an ego snag, and those tend to come from fear. And then you can just start spiraling. How about you just see a person for who they are? The light in me greets the light in you. That's what namaste is for. So let me know, how do you celebrate Easter? Do you have anybody to celebrate with? Because right now I'm alone on an Easter Sunday, and you know what, I'm fine with that. It gives me a chance to watch the birds. It gives me a chance to read. It gives me a chance to rest, digest, reflect while I get ready for a new week. And you need that. You need that. Yeah, so I'm going to leave you with that. Again, let me know if you happen to miss this, if you have any questions, if there's a topic you would like to— for me to discuss. If you're struggling with something, you're not alone. This isn't just a get-by community. I have been on YouTube for almost 10 years. I don't know how many people have been on for that long. A lot of people go on, oh, I'm gonna get on YouTube, I'm gonna be a YouTuber. Let me tell you, my friends, it's a lot of work and it takes commitment. I think the biggest piece is it takes passion. I know God has put me on this earth to invoke, provoke, and activate people. Whether you're activated in a "Wow, that's inspirational!" or 'Oh, she's so terrible.' Like, 'No, I don't agree with what she says.' Great, we need more of that, because what comes from that will start to challenge maybe your narratives and your way of thinking. Lead with your heart, it's never wrong. Never wrong. It will never lead you astray. All right, well, I'm sending you guys lots of love. Have an amazing day wherever you are in the world, and until next time.