New Year New Me? Toxic Positivity Trap

Hello everyone, new year, new me. No, hello and happy 2025. This is my first live video in the group for 2025, so I'm pretty excited. I just posted my first blog blog, and, uh, first email will be coming out as well if you're signed up for my email list with the Soul Healers Community. If you're not, comment below, because 2025 is, is different for sure. I also recorded my annual vision update for 2025, and if you need a link to that, or just head over to my YouTube channel and find out what I have to say about 2025, what the overarching energy— I mean, there were different themes, uh, why I believe 2025 is the Year of Sound, and why, you know, there is also a card and an energy that was pulled for the year as well. Um, and really that's more to focus on what is really happening for us in 2025. New Earth, Golden Age. There's a lot of activations and shifts, solar flares as well. There's a lot of that, and there's a big one coming January 19th from what I've been reading and seeing and speaking to fellow practitioners for the Schumann's Resonance. So you might want to follow them just if you're curious about what's going on and why you feel a certain way and you know, you're not alone in this. Um, typically when we feel something or an energy shift or we're feeling low energy or high energy, um, and then you go and have a look, you're like, oh, okay. And then you start interacting with others in the group and, uh, realizing that we are all in this together consciously. Um, and really this is about, uh, a lot of us waking up waking up, ascending, leveling up, however you want to look at it. So typically, you know, when the clock strikes midnight, December 31st, there's a wave of optimism that sweeps across the globe and the promise of a fresh start, new goals, and this mantra that we love to spout off, "New Year, new me," fills our social media feeds and the people that surround us that we work with. And You know, I'm all about practical spirituality, so the idea of self-improvement and setting new goals is inherently positive. There's a darker side to the annual tradition that really goes unnoticed, and I'm talking about toxic positivity. Um, anyone here familiar with that? Um, do you happen to fall into that at all? Uh, let me know. Um, I would love to know, but it's happened to me. I mean, it's hard not to. I get that. So you can actually comment whether you're here live or on the replay, how that plays out for you, or what you're witnessing, what you're seeing, what you're feeling in the realm. And I also want to celebrate that we are almost at 100 members. So I believe we're 4 away from 100. And there might be a little surprise party there for everybody this group, um, something offline, uh, private, uh, that we can all connect and get together, whether it's a healing or a special meditation to clear something, cutting cords, um, mediumship, whatever it happens to be, cards. But, um, yeah, if you know of anybody that would love to be part of this group that are on the path, that are spiritually awake or curious at least, and want to develop their intuition their boundaries, their spiritual toolkit, then please send them, send them our way. We would love to have your friends, family, maybe coworkers, whoever, acquaintances, maybe people that you collaborate with, because this really, this is your community. So, all right, let's dive more into this. And there is a lot of pressure of the New Year, New Me. It really is about us. It's our ego that is going to say you're going to transform overnight. And really, social media amplifies this pressure, showcasing perfect lives and unattainable goals. The New Year, New Me mindset can be a breeding ground for toxic positivity, where the emphasis is on constant happiness and success and leaving little room for natural ups and downs. You know, like, ride the wave, like, go with the flow. Sometimes you're on of the mountain. Hey, I've been there. I've been on top of Machu Picchu. I've been on top of quite a few mountains, but there's also the valley. And right now where I am, I'm in the valley, literally where I'm staying right now. And it's— I find it's very sheltered in a way, not hearing a lot of noise. And so this is really a perfect reset for me, because in the past, I don't know about you, but I would hit the ground running. I'd have a list of to-dos and goals, like, so long, almost like Santa's list. It's just, it just keeps going. And it never ends. And then you become overwhelmed, which typically a lot of us empathic, highly sensitive folks are. And then we either have analysis paralysis, I don't know where to start, I feel overwhelmed. I want to do 10 things all at once. It's really about— and, and I saw a meme before I came on here. There was a woman pulling a mountain where if you start chunking off bits and pieces of the mountain, you don't have to pull everything, all your goals with you. Um, and I've even realized that having a digital calendar is not enough for me. I— for me, I like stuff on paper. That's just who I am. So really work with, you know, what works for you. Take what you want and leave the rest. I mean, that's really how I work, because then it takes the pressure off of us, and, and really, that's, that's important, really important. So, and really, we want to focus on the impact that it has, all of this pressure that we put on ourselves unknowingly. It really is unconscious, and it is a program. Um, we get caught in that wave. Um, and I used to talk about happiness all the time and happier-ness and all of that, but it's about being in the present moment. It's about being where you— meeting yourself where you are, not in the future because that causes anxiety, and not in the past because that causes depression. And when you start having a conversation, that is your ego actually firing up, right? So if you can catch yourself, and I just watched a fabulous interview with Oprah and Eckhart Tolle. Um, his book New Earth, I've read it a few times. It's an amazing book, but he really reiterated that. I mean, even Oprah caught herself at a doctor's office. And she was waiting longer than expected. And all of a sudden, this train of thought came up. Do they not know who I am? Oh, I should be in that room already. Oh, you know, what a waste of time. Like, all of this dialogue started. And Eckhart said, that is your ego causing conflict, causing stress, causing anger, causing frustration, causing anxiety. Ding, ding, ding. So if you can catch that and go, no, everything's happening perfectly in this moment. And if I allow these things to unfold and I'm the observer, then I'm no longer caught into the control, right? And they— and the judgment and the fear and all of that. How can I just flip this and go, okay, this It is what it is, and I'm okay with that. I'm okay with that. So the impact on your mental health when we force ourselves to be positive all the time, and I know a few people that, you know, I mean, that's why I wrote this book. I, we, I see their mask. I see it right away. I call BS, like I'm a BS meter. I'm like, no way. No way. And then there are people that are, yes, naturally happy, naturally joyful. You can tell the difference, and maybe it will take practice. So we don't want to deny our true feelings. Now, ego comes up with a lot of emotion, but we're talking about feelings, and feelings move through like thoughts, like cloud. Right? So, we don't want to lead our feelings to inadequacy, anxiety, and depression. It's important to recognize that it's okay to have bad days and feel a range of emotions. Authenticity in our emotional experience is crucial for our mental health, our overall well-being. So, maybe share with me if you're feeling anything. How is Christmas season for you? How are you feeling, uh, so far in January? I mean, it's, it's hard to tell sometimes, right? Um, but I, I do feel it is showing us the, the pitfalls, the holes, holes in our life, holes in our soul, and we're looking for external things to fill them up, whereas You know, if I'm reading a good book, you know, this takes me out of this mind, right? And, and transform me somewhere else. That's really important. Uh, whether I'm lighting a candle, I'm working with sound and healing therapies, I'm meditation, whether it's a sitting, laying down meditation, Or it's a walking, washing dishes, writing, journaling, meditation. I mean, there's so many different ways to meditate. And I, I feel the number one thing is every day I get outside. I get outside because not only do I feel better, it changes my whole state and I'm sleeping better. And I've been seeing a lot of posts about people not being able to sleep. And I know that I have some clients that have trouble sleeping. So how can we find natural ways to help with sleep? And if you need help with that, I have a, like, a tip sheet, a PDF that gives you some ideas, and there's a ton. But right now, herbs seem to be, um, like finding natural ways to sleep without a sedative, to sleep without something that becomes habit-forming, right, or disrupts your natural nervous system. So I'm talking about hops and, and red clover and chamomile and lavender. And clove water was something I just seen recently as well. So those are things— a valerian root, however, That, you know, you have to be— I have, you know, you use it very sparingly. So just be aware. I always say start small and then when you're feeling it, you're like, okay, this is where I'm good. So watch your dosages is what I'm saying. There are other, other things that can help with your sleep. So let me know if you need help with that. And how, how are we going to embrace authentic positivity? So how can we bring in more of an authentic approach to this new year? Setting realistic goals. I mean, goals and dreams. I believe dream is like the overarching umbrella, and the goal is how you're going to get to that dream. Now, we may have many goals, and that's why I have an annual Dream Vision Map workshop where if you're going to see it, you're going to put it down on paper, you're going to add pictures and inspiration and have it in front of you all the time because then it becomes who you are. It becomes a manifestation of who you are. If you're not seeing it every day, if you're not aware of it every day, then it slips under the radar, right? And then we forget. So, um, and really I want you to aim for progress, not perfection. Perfection will keep you running in place, and will— you will become a critic towards yourself, and then you'll just give up. Never give up. So we can embrace a more authentic approach, um, and and break down your goals into manageable steps. Like, say, I want to walk every day. Don't start walking out for an hour. Start with 15 minutes, right? And then build it up slowly. Or I want to eat no meat at all. Sure, you can do that. I did that. I work on extremes sometimes, and I don't recommend that for everybody if that's not who you are. Maybe bring in one, you know, meatless meal a week and then start working from there. Then you can celebrate your small victories along the way. And that's what's really important. We all always tend to focus on the big, look at me, big, big, you know, I got this big huge certification or I got this big trophy. No, celebrate the small victories. Then it becomes an imprint, then it becomes a habit. Habits are formed within 21 days or broken, right? However you look at it. It's also important to acknowledge your emotions. This is number 2. Allow yourself to feel and express a full range of emotions. It's okay to have bad days and seek support when needed. Yes. I think, I feel this group sometimes, maybe I'm wrong, you can tell me, we tend to be ultra-independent, and this is a trauma-formed response. Because when we were children, we didn't get the support we needed. Therefore, we've decided, and it is, and it, you know, it's more of a survival mechanism, and then it just continues. So I, I feel it's really important to feel, uh, because emotion— and that, that's who you are, that's how you're feeling right now, but you are not that feeling. Yes. Number 3: Practice self-compassion. Be kind to yourself, be compassionate towards yourself. Understand that growth is a journey and healing is never finished. We are continually healing and evolving, and it's okay to stumble along the way. We are human having our spiritual 3D experience. Yes. And then number 4, cultivating genuine connections, surrounding yourself with people who support and uplift you. And I will even say people that are smarter than you. You are defined by the circle you are surrounded by. So if you feel you know everything and you don't need to learn anything, red alert, red alert. That, that is an ego construct. The ego wants to keep you comfortable and safe, so that means you don't move, you don't go anywhere, you don't grow. You're running in place. And I get it, I've been on the hamster wheel. It's not a fun place to be. And as you notice, hamsters, if they go too quickly, they start getting wrapped up in the wheel and they're out of control. I just seen that. So, um, so it's really important, you know, to have people around you that, that allow you to be who you are. You don't have to hide, you don't have to put on masks, you don't have to put on airs, you don't have to pretend you're somebody else. No. And this takes practice. And the more that you build yourself up, the more that you will magnetize people who are doing the same, if not more and better. Not saying they're better than you, but you will aspire to be. Yes. That's important. And that will cultivate your spiral because healing is a spiral up. Up, up, continuing up our journey. So I really wanted to jump on today, um, I would— and if you're here live, you have a question, you want to connect, um, yes, I will get you that link, uh, Barb, uh, for the workshops. One is in person and one is online. I also have a bunch of other things at Root to Crown Connection Center in Strathmore. I have a— in February, a telepath Tales. So it's animal communication, communicating with your animal. And you know, why are empaths and animals like this, like two peas in a pod? Because the animal does not judge. The animal does not hurt you. The animal provides healing and support. That's why, that's why there's such a soul connection. All right. So to know, to get to know your animal better, and to be able to psychically, telepathically communicate with them is amazing. Then you don't have to ask other people unless there's something, you know, health-wise, something that you're struggling with. You'll know. You just know, right? And I feel that's important and it's a practice. So I'll leave the links for that. And just remember, it's okay to have setbacks and failure is something that school never taught us. So it's okay to fail. That means you tried. And doing so, you're going to create healthier, more realistic approach to your personal growth and well-being. So here's to a new year filled with genuine positivity and self-compassion. All right, everyone, I love you so much. Until next week, if you have a topic or you have a question that you'd like me to to discuss. Comment below, share this with others, bring in some more members, and I will see you next time. Take care. Mwah!