In this conversational teaching, Christine J. Gold shares her own childhood trauma—an absent father, a chaotic, codependent mother, and early exposure to addiction and body‑image issues—to illustrate why many adults carry low self‑worth and maladaptive coping patterns. She introduces the concept of inner‑child reparenting as a conscious, adult‑driven process that allows us to choose new, healthier behaviors regardless of past experiences. Gold outlines a practical framework she calls the "Four Pillars of Reparenting": 1. Discipline – a compassionate, needs‑based self‑care toolkit rather than authoritarian control, asking what we truly need emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually, financially, and relationally. 2. Joy – reconnecting with childlike wonder and simple pleasures (e.g., noticing a bumblebee) to counteract codependency and perfectionism. 3. Emotional Regulation – using chakra work, Reiki, energy practices, and a flexible spiritual connection (God, Source, the universe) to learn to regulate feelings and release attachment to past hurts. 4. Self‑Care – a spectrum of nurturing activities (writing, singing, cooking, baths, massages, cold plunges, visualization) that can also be as simple as doing nothing in silence. Gold emphasizes personal responsibility for healing, the importance of daily commitment, and the idea that while parents are not to blame, we must evolve our own awareness to break ancestral trauma. She invites listeners to apply these pillars to their unique childhood wounds and offers community support for the reparenting journey.
Chapters
those feelings of low self-worth. I work with a lot of folks who have worthiness issues, and that includes myself. So some of you might be hearing this and thinking, my childhood's over, there's no reason to go back there, or if my childhood is where I learned most of my coping mechanisms, I'm screwed. And we tend to be very protective, defensive around our childhood experience. But the truth is, we have a unique opportunity to heal and consciously choose different behaviors as adults, regardless of what have, you know, we, we've experienced in the past. And that process is called reparenting. And, you know, my, my childhood was unique in that— well, maybe not so unique. I don't even think it was unique. I think this happened to a lot of people. Um, I don't remember much of my dad other than him leaving when I was 4. So that's where everything changed for me. Because I will ask people, what was, you know, at what age do you last remember something very significant or a big, you know, incident or happening or a trauma? Can always remember. And then there's very— there's a few that don't. I understand that. It's, it's a blocking, it's a shutdown, it's a— you just forget because you don't want to go there. And my mom, my mom had so many jobs, and then my mom met the neighbor a couple doors down. My mom was always looking for love that she didn't have for herself in other people. That's what I know. And my dad, my dad would let people control his life. So that's where that narcissist, sociopath, psychopath comes from. And I understand that. Actually, it's an understanding. I didn't for many years understand why he didn't want to see me. I was very angry. But when I finally got to meet his then wife, I, you know, I pushed and pushed and pushed, and then I realized, oh my God, She is a total sociopath, narcissistic, you know, sociopath and abusive. And my dad put up with it. I— and now I know why. I was, you know, my guides, my angels, my loved ones, my ancestors trying to protect me from this. And I got to see full frontal, eyes wide open. Whoa, okay, that's not what I wanted. But I needed to see it. And my mom was battling, you know, her own issues, her own addictions. She was working all these jobs, and, you know, my mom was distracted. I get it. And I had zero discipline, um, you know, we would just do whatever. Um, and I remember my mom crying a lot, and there was a lot of chaos, and there was codependence. There. So that's where the anxiety began. And not only that, but I started seeing things and hearing things, and I was highly intuitive, picking up all the energies. And I wanted to spend time with animals. And thank God, you know, my mom— we had tons of animals. We had birds, we had hamsters, we had dogs, we had cats. Um, it was the place to go to because my mom didn't really have any rules, right? So, and it kind of manifested as a bit of, uh, a body dysmorphia, meaning even though I was almost 6 feet tall, 120 pounds, and was running 10 kilometers a day, a couple miles, I still, when I looked in the mirror, thought I was fat. Yeah, and then the drinking, and then the smoking, and then, you know, that there was a lot of uh, promiscuous behavior because I was looking for love in all the wrong places. I was repeating a pattern of my mom's, but I thought that was normal, right? So I didn't show up for myself, and I was out of control. I didn't understand how to set or keep boundaries, had no focus on my physical or spiritual health. I was making six figures Um, but I was miserable. I just— I was so— and I was so negative, and I was such a victim. And discovering reparenting was a game changer for me. Anybody else? Anybody else in that discovery of inner child reparenting, anything like that? And it was not my parents' fault. It meant nothing about who they were as people or how much they loved me. They were doing the best they could with their level of awareness. Now it's time for— it's time for us to do the best we can with our own evolved level of awareness. And we are evolving. Yes, we are. And it's our personal responsibility. I, I posted the other day in my Facebook and Instagram group, um, page, group page, whatever, Um, it's the, the visual is there's a little girl in the mirror crying, and there's a grown woman with her hand on the mirror, and it says, you know, the pain is not your responsibility, but the healing is. So that's deep. And anyone can begin the process of reparenting themselves. It takes time, it takes commitment and patience. There's no quick fix. You have to show up every day. But it will allow you to heal and forgive. And I'm speaking from personal experience, you know, being a chain breaker to the ancestral trauma, the wounds. And there's 4 pillars of free parenting. Discipline— gosh, this is something that, you know, I call it a spiritual toolkit. I, I build up a self-care kit And I practice it every day. Now let's, let's say I don't hit every single point because then that becomes my ego controlling mechanism. No, no, no, we're not going there. Let's say I'm, I'm only operating at 50%. What can I do to heal, like to love myself today even though I'm not at 100%? We have to, we have to remember that discipline is not, you know, control and authoritarian and you must do this or else. No, no, no, no, that's coming from a lack and a, and a, and a fear mentality. It's really looking at yourself and going, what, what do I really need emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually, financially, in relationships? And we need— we are choosing spirituality first in everything we do. And then there's the joy. How do I— you know, I ask clients when I work with them, what are your dreams as a child? And I wish I had a cricket sound because I get crickets and I get the blank stare. I get it, I get it, I've been there. I'm like, dreams? What do you mean? They were crushed. I don't have any. I don't remember. Well, in part of the work that we do together and in our community, it's called Soul Healing for a reason. It's a call from your soul because you've diminished yourself for so long, you've ignored yourself for so long, you became codependent, you became a people pleaser, you became a perfectionist. Where's the joy in the little things? Like when I see a bumblebee, I'm like, oh, what a cute— I call them a bumble, bumbler, a bumbler, or a little fuzzy butt, you know. See how my, my, even my voice changes when I talk about it because it's so cute. That's what we need to go towards, because when we're a child, we never question anything. Everything was magical. Everything was beautiful, everything was fun, everything was joy. And then the next piece, the number 3, is emotional regulation. Emotional regulation, regulating our emotions. And that's why I take people through chakras and energy work and Reiki. They're all connected, they're all connected. And bringing in God. Bringing in God, bringing in the Creator, bringing in Source, the universe. Pick something. Please don't get attached to, well, you know, um, I had a really bad experience with some Christian person. Okay, uh, when are you going to forgive them and forgive yourself for being attached to that? And letting that define who you are, and letting that block you from being open to everything— ding ding— and attached to nothing— ding dong. Hello? Hello? Anybody there? All right, and the last one is self-care. Oh my God, you know, and self-care is— it could be writing, it could be singing, it could be cooking, it could be gardening, it could be having a luxurious Epsom salt bath, which is one of my favorite things, and massages. Oh my God, and reflexology. Yes. Those are all beautiful things. Flotations, cold water plunging, having a shower and having a visualization of all the rainbow, the white light, the gold energy just raining over you. That is one way to clear your aura, to raise your vibration, to clear your energy, to align yourself with who you truly are. And self-care, as one of our community members would say, is the act of doing nothing. What? I don't have to do anything? No. If you just want to lay there and complete silence, there you go. So those are the four pillars: discipline, joy, emotional regulation, self-care. Let me know what you are doing about that, or if you need some help. And depending on your unique childhood experience, some of these will be more difficult than
