This content was created by Christine J Gold. This content was uploaded by Christine J Gold. This is a YouTube video titled "The Dark Night of the Soul: Collective Soul's Journey Through Despair" (Episode 1: "The Call to Awakening"), published August 19, 2025. It is a first-person monologue by Christine J Gold, in which she recounts her struggles with drinking, smoking, overwork, people-pleasing, anxiety, depression, and two suicide attempts, and describes a subsequent spiritual awakening (references to tarot, intuition, mentors). The episode serves as a spiritual/self-help introduction—framing suffering as a call to awaken, offering guidance and reflection prompts for viewers, and inviting them to continue with the series.
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Hi, I'm Christine J Gold, and welcome to episode 1 of The Dark Night of the Soul. Let me ask you something. Have you ever felt something inside of you was breaking and no one else could see it? On the outside, it might look like burnout, grief, or exhaustion. But inside, it's your soul whispering, "There is more. You are more." This episode is called "The Call to Awakening," and it begins with my story. Before my spiritual awakening, I thought I had a normal life. I smoked, I drank alcohol. I worked way too much. I ate way too much. I basically ate my feelings. I people-pleased. I fawned. I abandoned myself again and again. Anxiety and panic ruled my body. Depression clouded my mind. One day I looked in the mirror and whispered, "I don't even know who I am anymore." That was the beginning. Here's the truth: the call doesn't show up like a golden invitation. It comes as heartbreak, betrayal, sickness, or a complete soul collapse. And like many, I, I read with tarot cards and oracle cards. It's like a tarot, a Tower moment. You know, the Tower, the Tower card, everything comes crumbling down. Um, I hit rock bottom twice. Now you don't have to hit rock bottom I'd like to think of my community and how I work with others as a soft place to land, because don't we all need that sometimes? And twice I tried to end my life, but something in me refused to die. A spark, a whisper, a rumbling. An inner fire. You are not born to suffer. You were born to awaken. That voice didn't save me, it invited me to begin again, to come home, to heal. And it was also delivered via YouTube video where I would meet one of my many mentors, but she said to me, "Your anxiety and your depression are highly linked to your intuition." No one has ever said that to me. If you're watching this, maybe you're hearing the call too. And I want you to know you're not broken, you are breaking open. This series is your roadmap through the darkest places of the soul. I've walked them too, and I'll walk beside you from the first whisper to your sacred rebirth. So here's your first step. Breathe, close your eyes, connect with yourself, and then maybe answer in the comments or maybe grab your journal or whatever it happens to be. What part of you is trying to wake up right now? What part of you is trying to wake up right now? And if you're ready to go deeper, then, you know, I guess save this portion of this video series, and there'll be more coming shortly. And believe me, you're not alone on this path. You are just at the beginning of becoming who you were born to be. I'll see you in Episode 2, The Breakdown Before the Breakthrough.
