Welcome to Season 3!

Hello empowered empaths and welcome to The Power of Healing Your Energy Show. I'm Christine J Gold and I'm a spiritual medium, intuitive energy coach, and old soul healer. This is a live show and podcast all about unconditional love, your light, your intuition, and your soul's purpose. Welcome to Season 3, and this episode kicks off with Tamara Zohner. She is a certified life coach, Passion Test facilitator, Mastery of Self-Love facilitator, and Happy for No Reason trainer, and a dynamic speaker, which I'm sure you'll see, an ordained minister. And this episode is really about how to create a life you love living a life that feels joyful and fulfilling. Depression and anxiety are a side effect of not living your life intuitively, not trusting your gut, the lost connections with yourself and others. And I truly believe healing is the end of conflict within yourself. And that healing begins where the ego ends. Replays can be found on my Facebook and YouTube pages. Please like, please subscribe, please share, please follow, and please rate and review wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts.

Hello everyone, welcome! This is Season 3, Episode 88. You know me, I love numbers, so everything happens for a reason. Come on in. I know you're probably wondering, you know, when is the show coming back? Well, here we are, here we are, and it's officially the first day of fall as well. Um, let me know how you're celebrating, uh, what you're looking forward to. I mean, really, what do we got, 3 months left until 2022? All the twos. Twos are about inner balance as well. All right guys, so nice to see you. Come on in, share this out, let us know if this is the first time you're— you've been here or you're listening to this podcast, or if you're on the replay, say hello. We're not going to leave you hanging. And you notice in the intro as well, I use please a lot. So can you tell that I'm possibly Canadian? Possibly. We're just, we're just so nice, aren't we? Anyways, anyways, enough about me. I'm going to bring on our beautiful guest Tamara, and gosh, I think I'm just gonna bring her on because I'm trying to remember when we actually, you know, met and got together. Hi, Tamara. Hello. Yeah, all good. Yeah, I was trying to— was it a couple months ago?

Yeah, it was a few months ago. You were booked out and taking your hiatus, so it's exciting that I'm at the start of your third season, and 3 is my favorite number.

So there we go, everything happens for a reason. Everything happens for a reason. So I guess, you know, this show is really about creating the life that that you love now. And, you know, I think about presence. So how did you, I guess, create the love that you— or the life that you love? Look at that, I'm tongue-tied already. Because, I mean, I'm looking at everything you do. I mean, so many things. But if anything that really step— or, you know, sticks out is, is self-love. And hey, I'm all about that. So how did your journey start? Because, I mean, if nobody read the bio, you're a single mom of as well. So to me, that says, that says a lot.

Yes, and happily single mom of 3. So I— it's all about our relationship with ourselves. For me, every single thing that I do starts there, and it's where I had to start to get to where I am in this work and believing that I was capable of doing this work and worthy of reaching out to other hearts and souls to, you know, reach out that hand that says you're worth it too, and you can create something different for yourself. And if you're not loving life, then you can take some actions, and it's not, it's not that hard. It's not that easy either. It's simple, not necessarily easy, but we can all do it. And I just I have a deep drive to let people know that and to help them get there.

Yeah, I know what you mean. You know, people always ask, what, why do you, you know, do what you do? Because somebody 4 years ago told me exactly what you just said, but in a different way, obviously. And I thought, oh my goodness, no one's ever talked to me like that before. So I want to impart that to others that are maybe feeling stuck, feeling lost, feeling scared. And there's a lot of fear out there right now, and there has been for way too long.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, I think we've been raised for generation after generation to be fearful, and that way people in power can stay in power. And it really— it was a similar journey for me is when I recognized that I was only stuck in my own mind. And I really felt stuck. I had little children. I was in a very unhappy marriage. I thought I had to stay in it forever. I thought I just had to deal with it and get through it. You know, my parents have been married for like 56 or 57 years now, and I just, I, I wanted that. And yet I didn't want the toxic relationship that I was in, and I didn't want to be the person that I was being because it didn't feel good. The way that I was responding to my life and to my children didn't feel like me. It didn't feel like truth. And so I just started exploring all these different, you know, whatever was a podcast 10 years ago, all of these different teachers and lessons and really listening to myself about which ones hit home for me, and home being like that place in your body where you have knowing, you know. And, uh, I, I was writing about this today for a class that I'm teaching. I met a woman at a networking event when I was doing something completely different. I was doing in-home wine tastings at the time, and that was fun.

That was fun.

We traded business cards and hers said Certified Passion Test Facilitator, and I didn't know what that was. I'd never heard of it, but my body knew, my soul knew. I just felt tingles and something come over me, and I just knew that that was a part of my path. And that process is what brought me home to myself and helped me get honest about my life and about what I wanted. How I was actually showing up right now. And then I learned how to take the steps toward where I am now, which is living this amazingly beautiful life as a single mom and a speaker and a coach and doing these amazing things and getting to talk to cool people like you.

Oh, thank you. And you were talking about, you know, uh, you know, authenticity. That's what I was really hearing. It did not feel authentic. It almost felt like how Dolores Cannon Christine J Gold talks about what it's like watching a movie and you're not part of it, but you're seeing it play out and you're like, I don't want to be part of this.

Yeah, there's like this part, like the true you in the back of your head watching this movie going, this is not what I meant to create. This isn't what I thought it was gonna be. This isn't what I meant. And, and yeah, actually one of my very first number one passions, uh, when I took my certification was to live authentically from my heart and soul because I'd come so clearly to realize that I had not been doing it for many, many years. And that was all I wanted in that moment was to start living authentically, finally, as me.

Just the way you are. I'm hearing Billy Joel sing that. We love you just the way you are. And yeah, and when you said you started listening to podcasts and videos, you were— and the word that came to me was sponging. It just— yeah, you're just soaking and absorbing as much as you possibly can. And I know what you mean, like, it's interesting. I mean, I started my journey with Wayne Dyer, still, you know, to my heart, but as you go along, you start picking up other things because As you learn, of course you integrate that, but you're ready for the next level, as they say.

Yes, yes, yes, absolutely. Yeah, Wayne Dyer, you know, I remember when I was still married, uh, we watched The Secret.

Yes.

And, and that was, that was a moment, you know, it's such a 101, right?

Yeah, of course.

Creation. And it introduced me to all these amazing teachers. And then I went on and I read like every single book and I absolutely was a sponge. And then I listened to any interview that any of them had done, and then their teachings led me to other teachings, and Wayne Dyer and Marianne Williamson, and, and, you know, so many different teachers. And somehow, um, you know, Michael Bernard Beckwith, who's amazing. Have you ever heard his music? He has a musical CD.

No, I haven't. I just, I just watch his Sunday sessions and they're dancing and singing and I'm like, this is great.

He and his wife did a whole album. It's on Spotify, I believe. And I somehow came across that and I loved it. I would listen to it in my car, taking my kids to and from school. And it was all, it was really about just like, you be you, like you're awesome, you're beautiful, you're amazing as you are. And I just soaked all that in and let it resonate and let it bounce around my cells awhile until I started to realize and believe it. But yeah, okay, I can just be me. Some external things need to be changing for that to really feel good, and it's possible.

It is, and you don't need permission.

No, but isn't it interesting that people feel like they do? Mm-hmm. I think people feel like they do to take better care of themselves, to to say yes to themselves and no thank you to others when it feels right for them. And often we just don't listen to ourselves and we say yes to others and no to ourselves for the comfort of other people. And, you know, so I am often just putting out blanket permissions. You can say yes to yourself. You can honor you right now in this moment. And they're not your responsibility, but you are.

Yes. Yeah, that's important, especially, I mean, we talk about people pleasing all the time, and that's a form of codependency, and then it's also another form of, well, I bring in past lives, I talk about that, but it's also another form of, yeah, the codependency piece, but self-sabotage.

Sure, absolutely, self-sabotage, and also, you know, it's a trauma response. It's like making it okay for everybody else so that you can stay feeling safe and, you know, not being able to handle conflict or being unwilling to even experience it. And, and just— I, I did that. I'm a third child, you know, even though my parents are still married after 56 or 57.

It's amazing.

It wasn't always sunshine and roses for sure. And I witnessed and experienced my fair share of marital conflict, and that was scary as a little person. And as the third of four kids, I was very much taking on that role of, let's make everything okay so it can be quiet and peaceful.

We have something in common. Yeah.

Yeah. So we have to work our way out of that. And that comes through a practice of self-love and appreciation. Appreciation and coming to the point where you can really look in the mirror and say, I love and respect this person.

Yes, yeah, absolutely. I know I've got a few folks watching. I'm going to say hi to Tara Lynn. Thank you for being here. And Marsha, she's just saying hello to Miss Tamara and Miss Christine. And Marsha is actually one of my— well, she's a graduate through one of my courses, Unleash Your Magic. So, and she's also, you know, quite the cheerleader, and she's got an amazing journey going on as well that was, you know, sparked basically by her own, just finding her own magic within herself. So, I mean, you talk about that spark, right? So the whole premise of this show is You know, at the beginning of the year I start a dream vision board, which, you know, I need to actually schedule for the last 3 months because I know what happens halfway through. I mean, we have checkpoints every quarter, but I'm feeling somewhere in the summertime things kind of go south in a way because, you know, you're on vacation, I get it. So it's almost like we need to reel it back in. So what would be, I guess, your tip, like your number one tip to create a life you love?

My number one tip to creating a life you love is, um, gosh, to really get honest with yourself about the life you're currently living and then the life that you want to be living. And so to start, instead of keeping that dream or those desires in sort of the dark recesses of your mind, let them come out, let them see the light, play with them a little, imagine what that life might look like if you felt good on every level. And that doesn't mean all the time. We all have days, we all have moments, cycles where we're more contracted than expanded. And knowing that too matters. So but let yourself get really frank like you would a good friend if you see them BSing themselves. You know, get honest with yourself and take stock at the different areas of your life. Most of us aren't miserable in every area. Most of us are like, "No, this one's okay." Like, work might be fine, but relationship isn't, or opposite, right? And so really looking honestly at where you have joy and where you don't, and then taking one baby step at a time. And I say baby steps because we don't make giant leaps. It's really a daily practice. I say happiness is a practice of daily action and creating new habits to move from where we are to where we want to be.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, I love that. Getting honest, and then there's some responsibility ability too. Oh yes, but being kind as you're going, ouch, ouch, ouch.

Oops, oops, oops. Yeah, self-compassion is the biggest. And I think we, we can more easily feel self-compassion before we get to the point where we can say, I have self-love, I love myself. We can practice self-compassion along the way and go, oops, I messed up. I didn't, I didn't move through today in integrity. But I'll start again tomorrow and I will— my actions will match my words like 10% more tomorrow, you know, until you keep going and going. But that self-compassion is so vital because just like any person, you know, trying to make any positive change in their life with better eating habits or maybe more exercise or reaching out to their loved ones more frequently, if we fall off the wagon, so to speak, and then we beat ourselves up about it and go into guilt cycles and shaming, well, we're not gonna succeed. But if we fall off the wagon and we wake up the next morning and go, "Mm, that's okay, that's alright, I'll do better today, that's okay," and each day we try that, then we get better a little every day until we wake up and go, "Yeah, I like me." I'm doing these things I said I would. I've earned my own respect. I'm forgiving of myself when I don't do what I say I'm going to do. And each day becomes better until, you know, a ways down the road you look back and go, "Oh no, dang, I did all that stuff and here I am now and I'm really— life is good and it feels good and it feels good to be me." So I talk about, you know, daily habits, like building.

I always ask, you know, my clients to keep at least a gratitude journal and to practice meditation. I feel those are— and then play. There has to be some incorporation of play.

Oh, those are good ones. All of those. Yes. The actions and habits that we do we do each day are really that foundation of everything good in our lives. And gratitude is such a powerful tool. I always come back to gratitude because that practice changed my life. You know, it's amazing. People think, oh yeah, I can think about what is good in my life. But if you actually practice gratitude and you get real specific, not just, oh, I'm grateful for my family, but I always use my son as an example. Oh, I'm grateful for that moment he hugged me and he pushed his cheek up against mine and it was soft and that hug was so warm and I just felt, you know, flushed with oxytocin and the joy of our relationship. And so you get really specific in that gratitude. And I like to do it at night so that no matter what kind of day I think I had, when I sit down to write out my gratitude, I'm like, ah! This was a great day. This was an amazing day. And it strengthens our neural pathways in our brains toward the positive. So not only does it feel good in the moment to practice gratitude, but it also is actually changing our neurology toward the positive because we're programmed, we're wired toward the negative, just evolutionarily-wise. And so we have to kind of work at it a little bit to rewire ourselves toward the positive, and gratitude is amazing at that.

It is, and I mean, those are beautiful things to practice in the morning or any time during the day, but especially in the evening because we tend to forget. We're very forgetful that way, or we dismiss or bypass things. As well. So, and prayer. I mean, I think, you know, I always know that we're going to make mistakes in the past and we'll mess up in the future, but we're very forgiving. And many times we feel like we don't deserve it, but if anything, you know, if we can show the love and compassion to others, we can actually show it to ourselves too. Yeah, yeah.

And it's so helpful in our happiness. It really, it's so It's vital. Practicing self-compassion and self-forgiveness is just a vital piece of developing a more beautiful and loving relationship with yourself.

Mm-hmm. I feel like I have to do it daily, if not multiple times a day, just to catch ourselves. Yeah, depending on what's going on.

Yes, absolutely, because we all get into sticky situations. Yeah, that's just another practice that once you practice it, it becomes a habit, and then it's— it just happens very naturally. Just like if you get on your exercise machine every single day, within a few weeks it feels like a part of you, and you miss it when you're not doing it. So all of those habits of happiness, you know, which include exercise because we need— we need our bodies on board to support our minds. That meditation you mentioned is vital, and meditation in many forms. I'm sure your listeners have a good understanding of how varied meditation can be, you know, and it's not all just like, oh, for 30 minutes, 2 hours.

Yeah, I, I know, I, I will admit it, I don't have patience for that. I, I really don't. I'd rather be walking. That's my walking meditation.

Yeah, in nature, I'm sure.

So getting outside outside is vital too, especially if you're susceptible, which, you know, because the seasons are changing, the seasonal affective disorder, you have mood disorders that are linked to having less sunshine and winter. And yeah, so just being mindful of that too, guys and gals.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, that's, that's lovely. Um, so this, what, what is this passion test? About?

So the Passion Test was kind of the first thing that put me on my path, and this is a process developed by a woman named Janet Bray-Atwood. And there's a book, but I don't recommend people take themselves through a Passion Test. Okay, the preface, uh, and it is this process of identifying what matters the most to you in your life right now, the 5 things that you want to be, do, feel, or have in your life And we start with a longer list, "When my life is ideal, I am..." and we fill that in like 10 to 12 times, looking at all the areas of our lives, our environment, our spirituality, our physical comfort, our relationships with others and ourselves, overall health and well-being, just any area you can think of. And you write in what you want. When my life is ideal, I am this. And then I take clients through their list, asking a very specific kind of questioning until we get to their top 5. And if, if they're hesitating, we go a little deeper in the questioning. And if they hesitate again, we go a little deeper. So it's really getting to the heart of the matter. So if I see them hesitating or thinking, really, I will stop them and say, all right, let's step into the heart for a moment and ask this. And then we get to the top 5, and then I teach you how to align your life with those things so that each day becomes more joyful and fulfilling. And it's in choosing those things each day over everything else, because you've identified that they matter the most, then each day becomes more fulfilling, each day feels more on purpose, each day has more meaning. And we know from the research on happiness that meaning is vital to our happiness. To feel like we're bringing something to the world, to feel like we're on purpose, uh, it's really, really vital for our happiness. The happy— happiest people in the world are living on purpose or finding purpose within what they're already doing. So you don't have to like change your whole life and go live, you know, the career that would be your purpose. There's purpose and meaning in small acts each day.

Yeah, you don't have to be a Buddha.

I always tell people that you can, you can be on a mission each day to simply make make someone smile. And if you've made one person smile, you fulfilled your purpose that day.

Yeah, that's beautiful. I love that. It reminds me of a guy that walks around the park, the local park. Every time I see him, he says good morning to everybody on the walk, and there's got to be at least 50 people that he runs into. And he's so happy and so cheerful, and he just inspires me because I'm like, you know, I ask, how may I serve? That is the question. And how it comes through is none of my business, really, because that's the ego wanting to— oh, well, if it comes through this way, then it's a— it's no, it's not.

Yes, perfect, perfect, perfect. That is exactly— whatever we're already doing, we can be living our purpose just by our being.

Yeah, I try, and for me You know, I try and donate time or money. It could be anything, a cup of coffee even. Because I think that's part of your— is it Spirit Cafe?

Yeah.

Am I getting that right?

Spirit Cafe, yeah. That's my podcast, Spirit Cafe. And we have these kinds of conversations, and usually with a cup of love, as I call it.

Cup of love.

Cup of tea, whatever you're drinking. And we really talk about spirituality without the guilt or dogma of religion and really letting love be the theme in our lives.

Yeah, I love that. I love that because I, you know, I talk about the unholy trinity and it's always been politics, religion, and science because they're ego-based.

Yes, yeah. I love what's your line? Your line at the end that you say about the ego in your intro.

Oh, healing begins where the ego ends. Yeah, that's what I believe. That was my journey. And everywhere I go, even this morning I was getting coffee and the girl goes, "Is that your company or is that an organization?" I said, "Sure, all of it." You know? Yeah. Because when she read the shirt, that's the thing. Not everyone's going to get your message, but the ones that are looking for it, yes, boom.

Yes, yes, absolutely. And that's why we're doing Spirit Cafe. You know, I was just having this conversation. He was inviting me to be on his Corporate Action Hero podcast, and we had such a great time, like, on the after side of the interview, talking about how we were both recovering Catholics and, you know, our different experiences being raised in the church and with Catholic moms and how we don't really subscribe to that at all anymore. We both took kind of the core messages of love from our upbringing and then made it into our own eclectic versions of our spirituality. And we were just so aligned. He said, "We should do a podcast together." And I said, "I don't know." Yeah, okay, that's great.

That's divine. That's divinity.

Yes, it was absolutely divinity. And now, you know, we're, we're talking to amazing people and we're having these fabulous fun conversations, and it really is just like two friends over a cup of coffee. And I love it. It's, it's really beautiful. And it's in fact what I do locally with the group. I have a meetup group called Create a Life You Love, and we have coffee connections once a month. And we, well, we used to meet in a coffee shop. Since the pandemic started, we met in parks, in my parents' seasonal greenhouse when it was empty over the winter, so we could, you know, so that we could physically distance while socially connecting.

I love that.

Yeah, so we, because we all just need that, and we There's a lot of human beings in the world right now craving those deep authentic conversations and to be seen and loved and accepted exactly as they are without the version of themselves that people expect them to be just because they've known them a while.

Yeah, or yeah, there's no history. It's just seeing me as a human being.

Right now is however I'm showing up in this moment. And it's so gorgeous because I've seen the most incredible friendships form in this group because each person shows up as a stranger, but it's a friend by, you know, an hour into the 2-hour meeting. And we all show up vulnerable. And I always joke it's not Coffee Connections until somebody cries because these deep things will come up and people will be able to be witnessed for maybe the first time. And it's just, it's so, so beautiful. I'm so honored to have these platforms to reach people and let them know that they're okay.

I love that. I love that. And where are you based out of, by the way?

I'm in the Detroit metro area.

Okay, Detroit. I've driven through Detroit once on the way to Quebec.

Oh yeah.

And that was in the '90s. And I was scared.

Not such a scary place anymore.

I know, but back then I was like—

My mom wouldn't let me go into Detroit when we were kids. Oh, you froze.

Yeah, we froze a little bit. That's okay. Gotta love it. I was just saying Detroit has done a lot of work. I know I've been following their stories and cities and such. So yeah, it's amazing.

Spent the weekend there and it's just absolutely beautiful and a wonderful place to walk around now. So I mean, some areas, not all.

Yeah, you got to start somewhere, right? Right. All right, so I always ask, uh, two questions of my guests. Um, so the first one is, how can we as a collective energy help make your dreams come true?

Oh, what a beautiful question. Oh gosh, I love that. I would say if something in this conversation has, you know, hit your heart, then share it with someone who you know could use it. And come and visit me on YouTube, on Facebook, on Instagram, and And follow along and help me get my message out to more people because that's really what I'm here for. And I can't reach the people who don't know I exist.

True enough, true enough. And I don't know why I'm hearing Jerry Maguire, "Help me help you, help me help you." No, sorry. Anyways.

No, movie references are enjoyable.

Definitely. And last question, what does What does magic mean to you?

Magic. Magic means to me what life feels like when we are living our own truth on our own terms with love and respect for others.

Love that. Love that. Because, you know, magic is everywhere. We are magic. We are alchemists. We create everything we see. Absolutely. And yeah, thank you for answering those questions.

Oh, thanks for asking.

Those are fun.

I'm glad I didn't know about them before.

It's like, yeah, it's kind of like surprise. So you are also— there's a giveaway, guys. There's a contest, whether you're listening or watching or catching it on the replay. Tell us a little bit about your Happiness Primer video series.

Okay, so for my private Facebook group, I did a week full of lives on the basics of happiness. So what makes up our core happiness, these 7 main areas of happiness, and what we need to do to be living those, and what actions and habits and practices go along with them. So it's about I guess 80 or 90 minutes. It's basically a free workshop. And it is going to get you started on this path of knowing what concrete actions you can take to support your happiness, body, mind, and soul. And it's just, it's so good, it's so juicy. And then you know what, just for fun, Christine, I'm gonna throw in a free 20-minute call as well. So once they've watched that, they can jump on the Zoom call with me and we can really get to what they gleaned from it and where they need some help.

Wow, that's amazing. Thank you so much. You're welcome. So yeah, guys, if you want to, you know, be entered, uh, for this, you know, amazing prize I mean, why wouldn't you want to find out a little bit more about happiness and then connecting with Tamara? So just comment happiness, uh, uh, to win. Yeah, and to win. And, um, we're, we're probably going to keep it open for about a week, uh, maybe 5 days or so, and then we'll announce the winner. And away we go, away we go. All right, so is there anything else you would like to share with our guest before we say Goodbye.

Just be kind to yourselves and really devote yourself to yourself and know that that is not a selfish act if you're doing it with love for yourself and others.

Beautiful, beautiful. Well, thank you so much for being on the show. And of course, if you'd like to connect with Tamara, I have all of her links Everything's in the comments. All of your social media, website, everything is included. And I look forward to connecting with you again. Everyone take care, enjoy your fall, and please remember, healing begins where the ego ends. Thank you.