You Were Never Broken—Here's What I Wish I Knew

Welcome. You're listening to a space created for sensitive, intuitive, and neurodivergent nervous systems. This is a place for empaths, cycle breakers, healers, and anyone who has learned to survive by staying quiet, staying small, or staying strong.

Here we move gently.

We don't rush healing. We don't bypass the body. You're invited to listen in the way that feels safest for you. You can pause, breathe, move, or come back later. Your nervous system sets the pace here. Let's begin.

If I could sit down with my 25-year-old self over coffee, I wouldn't tell her to hustle harder. I tell her to stop apologizing for existing. Thank you so much for being here. I'm Christine J Gold, and this is the Heart Led Soul Fed Podcast. Of course, I want to thank all my listeners from all over around the world, especially in Japan, and of course, the younger listeners as well. And we're just going to dive right in. Imagine writing a letter. Dear Christine, I know you think you're behind. You're not. I know you think everyone also received a manual for adulthood. They didn't. I know you're exhausted from trying to be who everyone else expects. One day you'll stop performing, and that's when your real life begins. Absolutely. And I would like to say, this is your life. No one else is running your life except you. This is your race. No one else is running the race, whether you're walking or you're running. It doesn't matter. You know how they always say, stay in your lane? Why? I mean, you're driving, right? On, let's say, a 4-lane highway. Are you going to cut all 4 lanes across to get to that exit? Most likely not, because you're going to put yourself in danger and a bunch of other people. But people do it. People do it. So if you stay in your lane, you just— the noise, the distractions, the, oh, do this, do that, you need to do this, you should be doing this. All of these things that people place on you, they are not in your lane. They are not living your life. They are not you. So I always smile and I nod and that's, that's about it. I mean, and then, you know, as well, I mean, I try not to put my coach hat on. It's hard not to. Rather, I would, I just listen. And as well, I think it's really important to ask people for permission. Is it okay? I just had a really awful day and I need to I just need to unload. Are you capable of doing this for me? If not, that's fine. And I don't want you solving my problems. I don't want advice. Or you could say, and I would appreciate feedback and advice. So you're kind of setting up a premise here. So I'm going to give you 6 pieces of advice. Stop apologizing for taking up space. That's really important. I hear that, oh, I'm going to stay small. I'm going to stay quiet. If I don't make a lot of noise, I won't be a target. That's a big one. I was told I was nothing. I was told I wouldn't amount to anything. No, take up as much space as possible. And I think that's why I love yoga and Qigong. I love those somatic practices because I'm expanding my space, my energy, my aura, my layers of my physicality and my spirituality. So take up space, please, please. And never apologize, ever, ever.

Forever.

I think they say, don't explain, don't complain, and I'm going to throw in, don't apologize. You have every right to be here. Number 2, being productive isn't your purpose. Yes, you don't need to do more. You don't need to keep producing. You don't need to keep shining and showing up and masking your humanness, your beingness as a human being having here in this 3D Earth. But you're a spiritual being having a human experience. Yes. Okay, so I used to think being productive meant I was, you know, you always hear people, oh, I'm busy, I'm busy. Busy doing what? We do a lot of busy things that really do nothing, except, you know, especially when you have ADHD, busyness is productivity, but productivity makes it look like you're doing something. And you know, and you don't want to start every week. That's the other thing with ADHD. You feel like you're starting over every week, starting something new. Let's try that 30th idea that I had. I call it SOS, shiny object syndrome. And I have people around me that will call me out and say, okay, that is, that's something that needs to be done now. Or is that going to be put on your SOS list for something later? Please remember that we are human beings, not doings. I've said this so many times, and it's almost like we're guilty if we rest. So let's rest and rest really well with no guilt. And you're not lazy, you're taking care of yourself. What's lazy is someone who does the opposite. Number 3, your sensitivity is a superpower. Yes, it can be a gift and a curse. I've heard that, I've felt that, I've lived that. But when you learn to discern where you're placing your energy, your time, very important. Maybe it's money. It's all energy. Wherever you're placing your energy, you need to remember how you felt in that. Was it, was there a lot of wincing in the stomach and you're getting headaches and you just, you feel tight? Then you know that you're overstimulated, you've overreached, you've overproduced, you've overmasked, and it's time to pull that back and go, wow, thank you for that lesson, that teaching moment. And as you do that more, you will be able to pick it up faster, faster, faster, faster, and it just becomes part of a rhythm. And being sensitive in a world that is the opposite, it can be very challenging. So it's so important to ground yourself, take care of yourself, focus on your breath when you feel— and there's the knee-jerk reaction too, meaning, oh my God, I need to make a decision right now. No, you don't. Who says? Are you in danger? Are you feeling pressured? Is someone threatening you? Those are different, right? So please be aware of that. Number 4, this is the biggest one, I think. The people who truly love you won't ask you to become less, won't ask you to shrink, won't ask you to mask and produce and just overextend yourself. Like, you become a doormat, and then you become dormant to who you actually truly are. Yes, I remember making a post years ago and it was a picture of a doormat at a door and it said, just because I'm sensitive, just because I'm spiritual or a healer or a lightworker does not mean I'm a doormat. Yes, and I had made a video a couple years ago about 5 steps to stop a bully and it works for children. And I will also say family and even friends are the worst offenders that want you to stay small, shrink, not do well, not succeed, because it triggers something in them that you're changing, and then they're— this unknown unspoken agreement, this energetic exchange is no longer going to work for them. Yes. And when it comes to energetic exchanges, do the people around you, you surround yourself with, are they doing better than you? More, you know, are they going exciting places and you're inspired, or are they dragging you down and stuck in their victim stories, their survivor stories? And are they an energetic vibrational match or vibrating higher. Because when I do mediumship— interesting segue— I need to clear my energy and go through all my chakras and do an energetic cleanse to get rid of whatever was going on, ego aside, so then I'm a clear channel. And because I'm working with ancestors, I need to raise my vibrational level higher, as high as possible, depending on who's coming through. Yes. 5. Rest is not a badge of honor or something you earn or that you have to do more of. And it's very honorable to rest and to rest well and to say, okay, you know what? I did a couple things today, or maybe I only did one thing today. I think that's really important. It's not about the things and how many things you do, tickety-boo, checking your list. It's whether you've done it really well and followed all the way through, not a quarter, not halfway, not three-quarters. Yes. And rest is a thank you to your body, to your mind, to your soul, an appreciation. And your body will be reciprocal and give it back. See how this works? It's very symbiotic. Thank you. Thank you. Energy in, energy out, replenishment. I mean, I love sleep. I'm, I am like screens off by 9:00 PM, whether it's a phone or a laptop or whatever, and going outside just to, you know, wow, look at water the flowers, do human things to get ready for the next day, to prepare my day, and to also shut this down, this thinking mind. It is so important. I hear so many people who cannot sleep, who have insomnia, and maybe you'd like an episode just on sleep. If that's something you want, let me know and comment below. And number 6, trust your intuition sooner. Yes, but it's not for you to play back and go, I knew it, I wish, I shoulda, woulda, coulda. I have many stories like that, and it's not about being wishy-washy. It's again discernment and practice and the art of surrender and trust and letting go. And then you have those practices, which are part of the work that I do with my clients, is about trusting your intuition. And speaking of that, I am having a half-day mediumship intensive, and Everyone's welcome, beginners, doesn't matter. Let me know if you're interested, you can comment, you can reach out, but it will be up on my website and socials very soon. I actually had posted that to my Soul Healer Sanctuary group first because here's the thing with ADHD as well, or neurodivergency, I, I kept creating all these programs and all these things and nobody was showing up, signing up. So I posted, I said, you know, I create all these things, so you're going to put your money where your hand is, meaning you're saying yes, but now you're going to put a deposit down because I'm serious. I'm not going to go and create something if no one's going to show up. Yes. And for me too, because I sign up for a bunch of stuff and then I'm like, oh, I start talking myself out of it. It's a real thing. So with this, with anything, if you see something and you're like, oh, that's exciting, and then kind of lean back a little and go, okay, why is it exciting? Where does this come from? Is this familiar? Is this me avoiding something? Is this me procrastinating? Is this me shaming and fearing and guilting? Those things are very important. So one day everything you are ashamed of will become the work and the life's work you're known for. I'd love to hear from you. What's one piece of advice you'd give your younger self? Leave a review, a comment, send me a message and tell me where you're listening from so other people can find me and join the community because I know there are people looking for for exactly what I'm talking about, what I'm sharing, what my wisdom, the community, and maybe it's like, yes, I know I'm a healer. Yes, I know I have ADHD. Yes, I'm so overwhelmed. And I know it's this and something greater. So thank you so much for being here. I'm sending you lots of love. Take care.

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