3 Simple Ways to Declutter Your Life

Hey, it's Chrystal Hurst, and before I get into the great content that I have for today's video, I want to make sure that you know about something that's extra special that only comes around every once in a while. I have a membership called the Inner Circle. It is a place where women can get connected, work on their goals, see how God is at work in their life, and get connected in community. It only opens once every quarter. The doors open October 1st and they close on the 4th. As we go into this last quarter of the year, preparing for the next year— can you believe 2023? 2022 is almost here. I wanted to make sure you knew about it and that I told you what to expect. In October, we will have self-paced courses so that you can work on caring for your body, fighting for your future, and just being intentional about having fun. In November, we're going to talk about boundaries and how to live within your limits. And then in December, we're going to have a lot of fun, including a Christmas party that's just for our membership, virtual, of course. So if you're interested in hearing more from me, more from my friends, and being intentional about moving the needle in your life and achieving your goals, check out the Inner Circle. Go to chrystalhurtz.com/innercircle. I know that you know that sometimes in your life there are things, people, places, expectations that you simply have to let go of. We know that there are times where you've simply gotta let loose things that no longer are a part of your life or should be a part of your life. But do you know how to do it? Well, today I want to talk about exactly how you decide what you keep, what you share, and what you give away in your life. My name is Chrystal Hurst, and I am coming to you every week with conversations that will encourage you, teach you, and empower you to live your life well. You're probably watching me on YouTube or Facebook, and I want to encourage you to follow me on Facebook and subscribe on YouTube so that whenever videos like this are uploaded or when I go live, you won't miss out. Today I want to talk about the practical steps of letting go. On the last video from last time, I talked about when you need to let go and what are the signs that it's time to make a change in your life. But today what I want to talk about is the practical 1, 2, 3. The practical steps of letting go, because sometimes we just get bogged down. We just get bothered by what's around us, but we don't know where to start. And I know that I'm a hoarder of certain things. I'm a hoarder for memories and pictures and paper and things I want to save because I'm a very, um, a person that is very attached to memories and information, and I don't want to lose information. And often before I know it, things are piling up around me. Uh, I make excuses for what still serves me, even though I barely use it. Uh, I tell myself that I'm gonna get around to certain things and then I never do. And then as I am not intentionally operating in a state of what do I need to let go of, and as I do not, uh, intentionally take steps on a regular basis to let go of what is no longer serving me, what piles up around me is chaos. There are times in your life, mine included, where you're simply gonna have to exercise the discipline of letting go, because without exercising that discipline, your life becomes full, it becomes chaotic, and you will realize that you are serving your stuff and your stuff is not serving you. But I am not a productivity expert when it comes to, uh, cleaning up your house. I am not an organization expert when it comes to getting rid of all the things, but there definitely are people who do this, and many of you know who I'm talking about, probably, I share with you, uh, what I want to share with you today. When you think about House Beautiful, that magazine I found, you know, that magazine you used to get in the grocery store with your, with your people, maybe with your mom in the store, and she'd be looking at that magazine when she was getting groceries, uh, maybe it's a magazine that you take a look at. They highlighted some shows that are going to be airing, and maybe some of these shows you watch, uh, Marie Kondo, where she's talking about getting organized, The Home Edit, And then another show called The Dream Home Makeover. Do you know why we're addicted to organization? We want these TV shows to teach us how to clean up our space and how to make sure things are all nice, neat, and tucked away is because we crave order. We crave cleanliness. We crave not being in a state of chaos. This is why if you go to a hotel for a stay or two nights, three nights in a row, there's something magical when you have been gone from your room in the morning and you come back in the late morning or afternoon, and housekeeping has been in your room and straightened things up. You walk in and you go, ah, there's a feeling of order that what you left is not what greets you when you return. So we do crave, even if you're not an organized person and you're not OCD about your stuff and everything having a space, there's, there's something that we can all acknowledge about not having the chaos. But not having the chaos in your life from your stuff, from your things, means you have to regularly declutter. If you have read any of these books, if you have paid attention to any of these shows, there are some steps that they have in common about what you do to get things out of your space that are no longer belonging in your space. You decide what you're going to keep, what you're going to give away, and what you're going to throw away. You make 3 piles. Recently we moved. We have been in our house just a little over a year, but before that I moved. I'm one of those gals who could have gotten married or bought my first house and stayed in it for the rest of my life. I don't like moving. I like stability. My parents, the house that they're in is the same house that they've been in for 40 years. And I like the stability of home and coming back to home and having the familiar sounds and smells and sights. Um, but I have to tell you that in moving 4 times, I realized I'm not a good mover because the moving process so stresses me out that instead of decluttering, which takes the time away from moving, I run out of time because I'm struggling to decide what to do with my stuff. And then I just throw all the stuff in boxes that I haven't really decluttered and move it. And so in my garage right now, are there boxes that I need to go through of things that I knew not to bring in the house, but I still have to go through to figure out what stays and what goes. And with 4 moves, every house, my box collection grew. So the last time I moved, I did attempt to do that, at least with my closet, with my clothes. I hate shopping, which means I accumulate things and then stop wearing them. But my closet is full because I don't want to throw things away. 'Cause who knows, I may need it. Who knows, I may be that size again. Who knows, I may need that to coordinate with something that I don't know that I'm going to buy in the future. It's all of these what-ifs and thens. But I was intentional. I'm not going to move with all of these clothes because I know they don't all serve me. So I went through these 3 steps: what am I going to keep, what am I going to throw away, what am I going to give away? I had 3 piles, uh, that turned into 3 bags of clothes, 2 bags of clothes, and 1 box, the box that I was going to take with me. So the question is, how do you decide what to keep, what to give, and what to toss? Well, I wanted to give you some things to think about, and that I want you to take this and think about how this relates to people, things, or situations in your life that you need to declutter. Because one of the worst things that you can do, one of the worst things that I can do to go through life, is to go through life with a weight we were not designed to carry. It slows you down. It, it keeps you from getting to your desired place, your destiny, God's purpose and plan for your life. When you don't actively edit your life. It's a life edit. So none of us are going to do this perfectly. Some of us do this better than others, but I want to encourage you to look at your life to say, what is weighing me down? What do I look at that causes me consternation or chaos on the inside? What is, um, I do I look at and think I gotta get to that, but you haven't been making time because you actually don't know where to start. So let's talk about these 3 areas and let's look at what they— what the signals are that you need to put something in your life in one of these piles. Let's start with what to keep. You got to keep things that are your responsibility. You have to keep things that are a part of you living life well, not playing the victim, but taking ownership of the things that belong to you. So there are obvious things. You've got to keep your kids. You know, you've got to keep a job, some job. You've got to keep an income. You've got to keep the lights on. So you're gonna keep the things that are necessities in life. The problem is, is that we don't always do a good job of deciding what are actually the necessities. And so there are things that we work to keep that are not necessities that weigh us down, but we have to do all of the extra work to keep them going. So yes, you do need a roof over your head, but do you need that roof over your head? Absolutely. You do need food on the table, but do you need that particular meal on the table? So organizing the things that you keep by what you actually need, or what are the things that are important to you, the pillars of your life. Do you wanna keep time in your schedule for family dinner? Because 3 or 4 times a week, you wanna look your family in the face. Do you wanna keep that getaway that you do for, uh, your girlfriends once a year? Because this is the way that you stay connected, even though you live in different states. So the decision to keep certain things in your life, whether those are people, activities, or things are: does this serve my end goal? Does this serve a need? Does this serve a desire that in the long run, if I don't feed that desire, I'll regret it? Does this serve God's purpose and God's will for my life? Like, it's really that simple. Um, what do you give away? The things that no longer serve you but could serve or be served by someone else. So literally worries and concerns, things that you keep ruminating over in your head, you don't need to keep that. You can give that away. You may need to give it away often because the worries and concerns come to you often. But that's why, uh, the Bible says to cast all your cares. It says, cast all your cares on him because he cares for you. So literally even your worries are things that you can give away. What can you give away out of your house, out of your things, that you don't need anymore, but you can give away to someone else. You found a new set of plates, for example. They had plates on sale at Costco one day. I got a set of 4, um, a set of— no, a set of 8. 8 plates, 8 saucers, and 8 bowls, and it was $15.99. So I bought 3 boxes because I know the kids are going to break them, and they were this nice porcelain. I bought them, right? So that means all the other mismatched plates, I don't need those. There are some of those mismatch plates I don't need because all of those things won't fit in my cabinet. And if I can give them away to someone else, they can be blessed by them. And maybe if they don't have any plates at all. So giving away things that weigh me down, but that could bless somebody else. They're still in good condition. We have a thrift store at my church and they say, listen, give us the stuff you no longer need. Give us the stuff that no longer fits your space, but don't give us your junk. If you— if it's not good enough, if you don't need it anymore, that's fine. But if you know you don't want it anymore because it's torn, because it's dirty, because it's messed up, don't give it to us to give somebody else your trash. So the question is, is it good enough for someone else, or is someone else capable of doing something with it that you can't? That means that thing still has to be usable. It still has to be good for something. It still has to serve a purpose. So giving something to someone else. You know what, I was dating a guy in my early 20s and we were, he was having some challenges, we were having some challenges and we ended up breaking up. And I was really sad about that for a variety of reasons. Y'all, his mother was such a gift. She came to me and she said, "I love my son. I think you are phenomenal young woman. He is not for you. Let him go." Here's my phone number. Call me anytime. I think you are phenomenal. What you need, he doesn't have yet. Let him go. She didn't throw him away. He was her son, but she didn't ask me to keep him either. She said, not for you right now. You don't need this. Trust me, you don't want this. And he wasn't— I think he's a phenomenal person still. But he wasn't for me. What if the guy that you're holding on to, the job that you're holding on to, the ministry position that you're holding on to is not for you now or anymore? And by holding on to it, you're actually robbing someone else of the opportunity that they have to enjoy what you have been hoarding. And then there are the things that you toss. You toss them because they actually aren't any good for you or for anyone else. They no longer serve a purpose. So let's talk a little bit more specifically about what this looks like in your life, because I'm really not— of course, things, of course you could do this with your clothes in a pile, and I'm going to continue to use my clothes as an example, and I want to walk you through what this can actually look like in your life. All right, so let's talk about my clothes. So I have clothes of all sizes in my closet, right? I have a writing sweater. Y'all have seen me wear it if you follow me on Instagram. My sister hates that writing sweater because it is worn thin on the behind area. And so she's like, you need to throw that away. I don't want to throw it away. I still love the sweater. She would not advise me to give away. Why would you give away a sweater with holes in it? I'm like, it's a perfectly good sweater. It keeps me warm. I know you don't like it, but I love it. And it actually serves a purpose. I feel connected when I'm writing. It grounds me when I'm writing. Your definition of what serves you, what you should give away, what you should throw away may not fit someone else's definition. How you know you need to get rid of something in your life is because it's causing chaos in your mind, chaos in your soul, or chaos in your body. Chaos in your soul, chaos in your mind, or chaos in your body. It stirs you up in a negative way. It is cluttering up your thought process, cluttering up your emotions, or cluttering up your physicality— what you can do physically— because something is in the way. So that is the trigger, okay? But then you have to analyze what is serving you or not serving you. By analyzing that through the lens of God's will for your life. Because truth be told, there are things and people and circumstances and responsibilities we would gladly toss, but God said not so. He's commanding us to keep it, right? So let's just tell the truth about that too. So in my closet, I have clothes of various sizes that I keep because maybe one day I'll swing up the scale, or one day I'll swing down the scale. But I have to tell you, there was this outfit that I bought in my early 20s because I needed to go to work, you just getting out of college. I went to Foley's at the time and I bought a bunch of clothes, bought a bunch of high quality clothes because I wanted to go to work and I was just decking my closet. I figured if I'm going to wear these clothes and spend the money, I want to buy things that are quality. Y'all, I don't like spending money, but when I do buy the things that I need, I like buying quality because I don't want to have to come back and get it again. So I wore this black suit. I had this blazer, I had these pants and I had this skirt and I wore them. For a long time. And let's just say my sister finally came to me and said, Chrystal Hurst, it's time. It's time to get rid of it. I was like, why? It still fits. It's still— she was like, ma'am, ma'am, we can tell that it's worn. It's worn. You have used the life out of it. And she said, because unlike my writing sweater, this is something you wear in public. This is something you wear to work. They can tell this has been dry cleaned a million times. It's like slick. We can't even see the fibers anymore. Like, it's like shiny slick. Get rid of it or pass it along to someone else who can use it. Sometimes the things that we are holding on to, there is nothing wrong with them. They have served their purpose with you. So you have to look in your closet and say, okay, is really like, you know, there's times where you throw away a size because you commit to never being that size again. There are times where you know because of your health challenges or your struggles. There are certain things you are going to keep in your closet. You're the only person who can make that decision. What I can tell you is that your closet— if your closet is full, you need to make some decision. Okay, I'm not saying that it's wrong to keep one size or another, that it's— I'm not saying that it's wrong to keep things just in case. What I'm saying is if it's cluttering and causing chaos in your mind, your soul, or your body, then you need to shrink your collection of what you've been keeping. Okay, now the things I'm going to keep are the things that are in response to God's voice in my life, God's will in my life, God's glory in my life, God's purpose in my life. It's my marriage when I don't want to be married anymore. It's me being obedient to God's word because I want to serve, serve him and work according to his purpose. It is me understanding what he has asked me to do and being excellent on my job even though I hate it. So while I'm looking for a job, I don't throw away my responsibilities on my job not showing up, not being on time, not being respectful to my boss, not getting my work done, not responding when I'm called upon to respond to an issue or a need. So you have to say there's got to be a framework for what you keep and what you don't keep. What is God asking you to keep? What does virtue require that you keep? What does integrity require that you keep, that you own until you can pass it off well? There are people that are responsible in ministries that know that it's their time to move on, that it's their time to share the reins, that it's their time to, to, to let someone else handle something, but they stay focused and they stay on task and they stay responsible until they can effectively hand it off to someone else. There's a difference between moving on and abdicating. And many of us decide what to toss because we're abdicating. We throw up our hands and we say, "Well, I'm not doing that anymore." And there's a way to move away from something. Okay? So what you keep, what are you responsible for? What do you need to take ownership of? What belongs to you no matter what? Choosing not to, not to throw things away, but to keep them because you choose to not be the victim. You choose to be the victor and you allow God's voice to direct your steps. And we'll talk about that more in another episode, what it looks like to hear God's voice and find stillness when there's chaos all around. But this is why you need a relationship with God. And this is why you need a relationship with yourself. You have to know at the end of the day what you will regret releasing. You have to be able to think forward to the day when you're 70 or 80 years old, and what will you be glad you did now when you hold your tongue, when you keep things under wrap? Because you know, if I let loose right now, this will not be good. You keep the things that are, that are worth keeping because they're your responsibility, because they serve a purpose bigger than you, because you're trying to be obedient and because it serves you in the moment. And the problem is we often think about what we keep and what serves me right now. It's not about just what serves you right now. It's about what serves greater good. You're a part of a fabric of more than what's just about you. What do you give away? The things that God has asked you to give away, the things that no longer serve you, but can serve someone else. So your cares do not serve you. But God can take and handle it. So you don't keep that. You take on the— you give away the things that are no longer your responsibility, that it's someone else's responsibility to care for. You give away by setting boundaries and saying, "I love you, but it's not my responsibility to take care of every single bullet point in your life. I care about you, but it's not responsibility." This is what we do when we cut our kids loose and we say, "Listen, adult children, I love you, but you're going to have to figure this one out on your own." It's what we do when we have coworkers that are codependent and that leave us to finish the project. We say, okay, I've done my part and I'm gonna do even a little extra, but I'm not gonna keep doing your job for you. It's what happens when you have to move from one position to another position. It's what happens when you say about that guy that you're dating, he's a great guy, he's a great guy, but he's not for me. And actually every moment that I hold on to him because I don't wanna be alone is a moment that I'm keeping him from the woman that's supposed to be his wife. And it's also a moment that I am plugging up my space for the man who's supposed to be my husband. It is the opportunity to give away away what you could do but you don't need to do, what you could wear but you don't need to wear, what you might use next season but you don't need that next season. It is an opportunity to release something in one hand so that you can open and receive in another. Often the things that we don't want to give away, y'all, because we love them, because we've had them forever, because we're used to them, because we're familiar with them— people, places, or things— they're clogging up your receptacle. So think about what do you really want? What do you really want? If what you really want is your closet, in your closet, are clothes that you love and clothes that fit, get rid of the ones that don't. Remember sunk cost? Just because you spent money on them— sunk cost is from our last video— doesn't mean you have to keep them. They served you then, they do not serve you now. But make sure when you give it away, it's in good condition. If it's not in good condition, then you toss it. You literally throw it in the trash. So pandemic pounds, you picked up some pounds. Okay, we're not gonna give those away. We're not gonna keep them. We want to get rid of them. And you wanna be ruthless of getting rid of the things that don't serve you. You wanna be focused. And this is why you have to let go of other things because you can't focus on what you need to throw away because it takes energy to get rid of the things you don't need if you are constantly operating in a full closet. The reason why sometimes you don't have the focus to develop a new habit, the focus to develop a new strength, the focus to change your environment or change who's around you, is because you are constantly wrestling with the things that you don't need to have. And your focus and your energy can't deal with— I mean, it takes focus to declutter. It takes energy to declutter. It's a lot of decision-making. It's overwhelming. Do you want to know why you can't throw away the things that are no longer serving you? It's because you're overwhelmed by all the things you've kept. Now, my riding sweater, I'm keeping it, okay? It serves a purpose. But there are other things in my closet that I wasn't wearing because they did— I'd worn a hole in them, or there were loose threads in a sweater, and they were so loose that, I mean, you know, I just kept wearing it because it was there, and I tossed it, you know, because who's gonna pick this up? It doesn't serve me, and it doesn't serve anyone else. You can check your attitude that way. If you're like, "Well, I just like to speak my mind." Well, is that worth keeping when the Bible says, "Speak the truth in love"? Is it worth giving away? Because if you give away your words and your opinion, it can hurt someone else. Is it worth you throwing away? Probably. Getting rid of the habit, getting rid of what no longer serves you. So I want you to think about Marie Kondo, The Home Edit, and The Dream Home Makeover, the basic decluttering steps. What do I keep? What is my responsibility? What is worth serving me in multiple seasons? What does God say? This is for my glory and your good. Keep it. What do you give away? It's no longer serving you, but by releasing it, it could serve someone else or provide a pathway for someone else. And what do you throw away? You just say, it is not doing me or anyone else any good, and I refuse to hold on to it even though it's been here forever, even though I'm invested in it. So that could be words, That could be your habits, that could be people, that could be things. If it's no longer serving you, figure out how to ruthlessly get rid of it. Because every day that you hold onto it, that person, that thing, that habit, it is not only cluttering your life, but it is keeping you from living your life. Think about this seriously. Cast your cares, for real, because I know a lot of us are cluttered by that. Cast your cares because he cares for you. So if what's cluttering up your mind and your heart are your concerns and your worries, keep casting them. People say, how do I cast it? Just keep, keep doing it, keep doing it, keep telling them, you got it, you got it, I'm giving this to you. And then, you know, there was a scripture Paul said, what is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. In order for you to grow in grace, in the knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ, you have to be willing to continue looking at your life and saying, "What do I need to count as loss?" Because if I can count the things that are not serving me as loss, that's not a sunk cost, I'm willing to let it go, then I have room to receive the surpassing worth and grace of what Christ Jesus wants to bring my way. This art of letting go is a gift. Because every time you choose to release, you are choosing to receive. Receive what? You may never know until you take the leap of letting go. I hope this has been helpful to you. Think about your life, make a list, look at where you're feeling chaos and say, what can I do to reduce the chaos by keeping what matters, giving away what doesn't but could to someone else, and throwing away what actually isn't serving, isn't serving me or anyone else. And then ruthlessly edit your life. If this video has been helpful, share it for me, why don't you? And I'll see you next week.