Chrystal Hurst shares how she manages screen time across her kids' ages: she keeps parental passwords for her teenage daughters' social media accounts and limits her sons to 30-60 minutes of gaming per day, mostly on weekends. She uses three principles—Time, Talent, and Treasures—to set boundaries that protect skills and family memories.
Hi there, it's Chrystal Hurst, and it's another Ask Me Anything. Bethany wants to know how I handle social media and screen time for my kids. Well, first of all, I have to tell you I'm very grateful that my boys, who at the recording of this video are 15, 13, and almost 10. They're not really interested in social media yet, so that's not something I've had to worry about with them. However, my girls are now 26, almost 27, and 22, and when they were in their teenage years, basically we made the rules for social media the same as any other screen time, and any account that they had, I also had the password to. They knew I was going to be looking, so So that's the first thing. I don't think it's a good thing to always limit your kids from all the things that you're afraid of that they could run into them because at a certain point, they won't be in your house. And a part of living with your kids is teaching them how to handle what they're going to run into when they're not with you. And the best way to do that when they're teenagers is tethering. We do this together. Now for the boys, their current age is screen time, specifically video games, which I hate. Hate. It's a thing. So we do have limitations on their time. Um, in one season of my life I used to let them earn video time, meaning that every day they could earn, uh, 30 minutes to an hour of total screen time, video games, TV, whatever. Now I cut back. Uh, they cannot play video games the majority of the time until the weekend because they'd rather play video games than watch TV. Video games is the thing. We don't really watch a whole lot of TV in our home just because because they're not interested, they'd rather play their video games. We've cut back and made it the weekend because of school and also because there are all different types of things to do with your time. Here are my general principles for how to judge whether or not you need to change or shift what you do with your kids and their screen time. 3 things: time, talent, and treasures. First of all, time is a commodity. We have a limited amount of it. And so when you're looking at the amount of time that your kids are spending in front of a screen, What else could they be doing with their time? Are they taking advantage of other things that they could be interested? Going outside, playing with other kids in the neighborhood, engaging with the family, serving in the family, helping to make dinner, cleaning up. What, what else could your kids be doing with their time? What else could you be doing as a family? And every minute that ticks is a minute you don't get back. And so we want to be careful about the things that we do for pleasure. There's nothing wrong with doing things for pleasure, and screen time for many of us is that. But that are stealing too much of our time because it's the thing you can't get back. The other thing is that time spent too much in front of a screen can rob you of your talents. Now, what do I mean by that? Many people have found that the very things that they practice, um, like for example, my kids, the older two boys, they're into coding. I let them do that because they're practicing a skill, they're practicing something they love, and they're practicing something that they want to get good at. That's different. But if I let them spend all of their time on screen time that's in a wasteful sense, then I'm robbing them of the time that they can use to build out, grow in, and develop their talents. And many people who are really good at what they do, and we admire what they do, whether they're a musician or a filmmaker or an accountant, they spend their extra time doing stuff that they love. If you spend too much time in front of a screen, you lose that. And I want my kids to understand that principle even in their ages right now. And the last thing is your treasures. The gift of time gives you the ability to invest in things that last beyond that season. When my kids leave my home, I don't want them to only remember that we spent every evening watching TV or me with me playing video games with them or watching them play. I want them to remember the walk at the park. I want them to remember us riding bikes at the lake. I want them to remember that we played a game at the kitchen table. I want them to remember that we had our own family talent show. I want them to remember that I worked the puzzle with them. Those memories, those are the treasures that will last not only their lifetime, past my lifetime, but maybe some of the stories they will tell their kids. So what do we do right now? We play on the weekends. But the bigger principle is time is a gift. It's time you can't get back. It's time you can use to develop and grow in your talents, and it's time that you have to create memories as a family. Focus on the value that time brings and then back into how much time you'd let your kids spend in front of a screen. I hope that helps, and if you have a question, you can Go to ChrystalEvansHurst.com/AskMeAnything.
