Building Better Boundaries

You are built with boundaries. Boundaries with your time, boundaries with your physicality, boundaries with your knowledge and information, boundaries with your emotions. Boundaries are a part of you being healthy. And living well. We live in a day and age where we talk about boundaries all the time, but it's usually, usually related to setting boundaries with people, not being triggered, maintaining your mental and emotional health. It's about people that have been so therapized over the last 10 years. Everybody, if you haven't been to therapy or you've been to counseling, you haven't been in counseling, you still know counseling and therapy jargon because it's so mainstream. We talk about our mental health, our physical health, and our emotional health, and we talk about the need to set boundaries, but it's usually toward people off. It's less about you living with limits. You have boundaries. My husband and I, literally last night— I'm recording this early in the morning with the Inner Circle— and last night in the middle of the night, because I took a long nap yesterday that made me not able to go to sleep last night, he and I in the middle of the night, 2, 3 o'clock in the morning, are talking. And I was expressing to him about some things that I need to work on, some relationships that I need to clarify. Some people that I love that are asking me to do things I don't want to do, um, or that I can't do, or that I shouldn't do. Um, people that I love serving and connecting with that, because they feel a burden to do something, want me to join them in their quest, and their quest is not my quest. And how my capacity— because I'm a fairly high-capacity person— causes people to misjudge what I can actually put on my plate. But I like to do the right thing and I like to serve, and I'm not being manipulated and I'm not being bossed. It's actually me agreeing to do things because I want to be helpful. And my husband said to me, but Chrystal Hurst, we all have to have boundaries, and your problem is you don't need to put boundaries ward people off. You need boundaries to stop yourself from going further than what you know you can go. You know you have the capacity. You know you have the mind. You know you have the strength. You know you have the intellect. You know you have the ability. If you don't have the knowledge, to go get it. You know that you can make the time because you'll rearrange your schedule and make adjustments. Because you have confidence in yourself, in your capacity, in your ability, in your knowledge, you expand your territory beyond the territory that is healthy for you. You need to put boundaries on yourself. You need to put boundaries on yourself. Sometimes we talk about this because we talk about how much sleep we need and how you gotta shut it down. So we get rid of our devices before bedtime, or we make sure we're getting enough sleep, or we'll put boundaries on ourself. We're trying to lose weight, we'll watch our calories. In theory, our clothes should be boundaries because when they start getting too small, we shouldn't go buy new ones. If the goal is to maintain a healthy weight, the clothes can be a boundary. You know, boundaries on work can be 8 to 5, you know, give a little or take a little depending on your jobs and your responsibilities. Boundaries. Are a part of our life except where we don't want them. So you may not want boundaries if you don't want to watch what you're eating because you really love the french fries. You don't have boundaries on your life if you are hungry because you skipped dinner and now it's 9:30, so you just need to drive through somewhere. You may not have boundaries if you don't have a budget because you kind of sort of know if you pay this bill and that bill and this bill, you— everything left you can spend So you don't really have boundaries and you have this nagging ache that I'm supposed to get my finances together, but I haven't had time to do it. So I just, once I've paid my bills, I don't, I don't have boundaries. You are not living with boundaries and the lack of boundaries is killing you. It's killing you literally because of your health. It's killing you because of your time. It's killing your dreams because you're not invested in them. It's killing you. Because you are being raped in your tomorrow of what you are giving away today. You yourself today, by your actions, you're raping your tomorrow. You're taking from your tomorrow what tomorrow is not agreeing to give, but you're taking it today. You need boundaries. Every instruction that God gave us in his word is because he knew in order for us to be healthy We need boundaries. Adam and Eve in the garden were given all of the trees to eat, but they were given a boundary. There's so many reasons why God could have— like, he could have set the whole garden with all the things that they could eat. Why did he bother putting one thing in there that they couldn't choose without consequence? One of the reasons is because without choice, then they wouldn't be freely able to choose him. And freely choosing is a gift. But I think the other reason is because without boundaries, you don't truly enjoy the things you can freely ingest, enjoy, connect with. I can better appreciate the time I spend with the people I love, and they can better appreciate the time they spend with me when it's not on tap all the time. I can better enjoy a wonderful filet bone-in because that adds with the flavor when I don't eat it every week. I can better enjoy the key lime pie I had from Moxie's last night if I don't have one every day. It becomes sweeter to me, better to me, more tantalizing to me when I don't have it all the time. There's a level of enjoyment that you will not experience in your life without setting boundaries. Boundaries are good for you. Not only do they keep you healthy, mind, body, and soul, but they add to your enjoyment of your life. If you have whatever you want all the time on tap, you are missing out on the sweet joy that comes from doing something within a healthy boundary. Sex is the same way. When God put a boundary on it, he did it for our own benefit. Yeah, you'll avoid, you know, unwed pregnancy, and you'll avoid sharing diseases and all that. That's amazing. But you'll also miss out on the sweetness that comes if you are pure when you get married, of exploring in your bedroom and in the privacy of your home all of the wonderful things that you can do with one person who you trust, mind, body, and soul. We taint our enjoyment of our life when we live without boundary. When you don't have to save for the thing that you want, you miss out on the joy of getting it free and clear of sorrow. If you get it because you can get it on a credit card instead of waiting to save for it and getting it when you can you miss out on the joy of getting something that you want free and clear. Boundaries are good for you. There are so many times where we don't set boundaries because we feel like something needs to be done. If I don't do it, who's going to do it? If I don't show up, what are they going to do if I don't help? If I am not a part of the solution, who's going to solve the problem? Do you know that often you choosing not to set boundaries on yourself is the reason why the solution to the problem hasn't arrived? You have to know what your lane is, and then you have to exercise the discipline of staying in it. There will always be a problem to solve. There will always be someone who needs help. There will always be something that you can fix. In your parenting with your children, as they get older, you have to set boundaries. Not only does it keep you healthy, but it helps them to grow. If you always swoop in and solve every problem that they have they will never do it themselves, or they'll do it so delayed that they're going to regret not starting their lives until they were 27 because they didn't have to start it because you did everything for them. You have to look at what are the people in my life capable of doing, maybe with my support, but I don't have to do it for them. It is a good practice that is a part of your life when you think about an new year, or, you know, we're, we're walking into the fall of 2023 as I'm recording this message. And sometimes the new year starts in January. Sometimes we feel a renewed new year with go back to school. We're conditioned all of our lives that new things start in August and September. To not just look at what you want to do, but what you're not going to do, what boundaries you need to set for yourself so that you have room to do the most important thing. Gardens need boundaries. Just because it's growing doesn't mean every branch should stay on. Pruning means I choose to cut something so the most important things grow in the direction they're supposed to grow. Boundary setting is a part of you moving your life forward because you can't push forward with new energy and new, new sight, new strength. If your strength is growing in all different directions, everybody can't have all of your strength. Every project can't have all of your strength. All of your dreams from yesterday can't have all of your strength. Boundaries are hard for me, but so is living underneath my calling. So is living underneath my dreams. So is living underneath my season. So is living underneath my next thing. If it's hard to tell yourself no, that's because you, the soul of you, should constantly be reminding your flesh, your inclinations, your habits Who's in charge? What you feel like doing, what you want to do, is not the answer. Your soul, informed by the intuition God gave you, layered and wrapped in the power of the Holy Spirit, teaches your flesh what is for you in this season. And then your flesh fights back because it wants to keep doing what it always has done. Something in motion wants to stay in motion. It's harder to pull the reins and slow something down or bring it to a halt than just letting it go. But just letting something go often means letting it roll right into disaster. Boundaries. Here's the beautiful thing about boundaries: when you set boundaries on yourself, not only will you see growth in your life in special places, but you will see growth in the lives of other people. And you would never have seen that growth if you said, I'm not going to do it. I'm learning how to say, I'm not going to do it. It's not my problem to solve. It's not my solution to give. I recently met with, um, a group that, um, I'm responsible for at church. And we were talking about capacity. We were talking about life season. And I had to tell a group of women, "This is something that we've done and we've done for a long time, but the seasons have changed. So if we cannot do it and we cannot do it well, and if there's no one else to do it, then it may be time for us to cease doing it." And oh, the horror in their faces. "No, we can't cease doing that because these women love this and this serves this population and this serves this population." And I said, "Then of course, if it's supposed to happen and you don't have the bandwidth to do it, that has no bearing on whether or not you should stop because if it's something that God wants done, there's a ram in the bush." but you will not see a ram in the bush until you raise the knife. I'm willing to lay my effort on the table. I'm willing to lay my energy on the table. I'm willing to lay my dream on the table because I don't have to control how it gets done. If this is something that God wants done, he will provide someone else. And sometimes it's not until you're ready to exit that God actually shows you how he can do it without you. He can still get it done, but he doesn't need you to be the martyr. Now, as I think about my 25-year-olds who are watching and listening to this, I want you to think about the boundaries that God would have you set versus the boundaries that society would have you set. Because what I can tell you right now is there are boundaries that society is setting for you that are killing you. A lot of the boundaries of, you know, that are related to work or that are related to your mental health or that are— I'm not saying don't take care of yourself. I'm saying there is something to say for hard work. There is something to say for you being stretched. There is something to say for all things don't get done in 40 hours. There are, there are lots to say about staying in relationship with people meaningful and not setting boundaries on people who have been for you for your whole life. And now you're hearing all this boundary conversation and mental health and trigger conversation, and you're shutting people down way before you should. I'm not talking about that. I'm not talking about world boundary. I'm talking about God boundary. And those are two different things. You have to go and you have to ask yourself, is this a boundary that God wants me to set? If they're saying, listen, you can't let anybody steal your peace. Okay. But if the Bible says that there is wisdom in the multitude attitude of counselors, that if you have people around you that are older than you who have your best in mind and they're all saying the same thing, then running for your peace is actually killing you because you're missing out on what the wisdom in your life is trying to say to you. If a job well done and doing something in excellence means you got to stay till past 5 a couple of times, and yes, you're going to do more than what is in your job description because we want the job to get done. And I'm not saying let people abuse you, but what I am saying is sometimes that is how you get stretched. And if every time you run from something hard because you don't want to do it, or because it's not my job, or because y'all are stealing my peace, you're not carefully seeing things and asking God, is this an opportunity for me to grow? How are you speaking to me? What would you have me do? How am I supposed to serve? Sometimes you stay in that ministry and you don't get the accolades, and stuff was done late and you fixed it and you saved the day. But the reality is you were doing it as unto the Lord, and God told you to stay. You didn't have peace leaving. So the boundary you set for yourself was to the extent that God asked you to stay. You're in a marriage not because you are choosing to be beat up or choosing to be emotionally stripped of your well-being, but you're in this marriage because God hasn't released you and because marriage is hard. I'm not talking about staying in an abusive situation. I'm not talking about letting him hit you. I'm not talking about him, um, robbing you of all of your self-confidence and all that you are. I'm saying when God says stay, it's hard. The question is not how do I maintain my peace, and you know, I need to set boundaries, and because you're not going to steal my peace. And it's not a self-serving boundary, it is a God-serving boundary that I'm talking about. What does the Lord require of me? What does he want from me? And then staying put where he's told you to stay put and leaving room to raise the knife and to let the ram show up and being okay if the ram doesn't come. Boundaries are good for you. We just recently had our church's women's conference and, um, I was asked about the idea of having a choir to open up. We decided to do that. And then the question became, so Chrystal Hurst, are you going to direct the choir? Do you want someone else to do it? And my thought was, who else is going to do it? My first thought was, who else is going to do it? My first inclination was, I may have to do it because who else is going to do it in a church of our size? I'm still asking the question, who else is going to do it? And then the next statement was, this person or this person or this person? Dr. Juan, Mama Juan, Dr. Wanda. Let me tell you something, I didn't even know Dr. Wanda directed choirs. I didn't know that was in her background. I didn't know that she used to do that at her altar. I didn't know that. But my inclination, my first inclination was, well, who else is going to do it? And before we even got to her telling me the name, my first thought was, I guess I'll have to do that. But I said, oh, somebody else is gonna have to do it. And then she said, well, do you want this person to do it, this person to do it, Dr. Wanda to do it? And I was like, Dr. Wanda does that? I wonder what would have happened if I said 'Yeah, I guess I can do that.' I wonder if the suggestion would even have come. What if there are people who don't even offer suggestions because you'll do it? I love my husband very much, and we've been married for 22 years, so there are a lot of things we've learned the hard way. But one of the things that we have learned is how to say no to each other graciously, kindly, lovingly, but no, um, with the heart to serve, with the desire to support. My mom used to tell me all the time, and I mean, she would say this at couples conferences, women's conferences, and she would say this so much: you have to communicate, you have to tell him what you need. And because, you know, we get that mixed in with be self-sacrificing and be, you know, love means you're uncomfortable sometimes. And it does. We take all things to extremes. Sometimes we're way too self-sacrificing, and they have no idea that you're burnt out and your hormones are out of whack and you're stressed and you need therapy. They have no idea. And then the other part is, is you like, listen, you're not gonna steal my peace. We usually go to extremes because we wait too long to do it the right way. The right way is, what does the Lord require of me? What am I going to do in my life today that brings honor to God and lets me be God's daughter? Lets me— it lets me be in a place where God is reminding me about what keeps me healthy and whole. God is reminding me about what, what he has asked me to do. That means sometimes you can say no to your husband, just in case you needed me to tell you that. And by no, I don't mean mean, and I don't mean rude, and I don't mean nasty, and I don't mean, you know, like, you don't control me, you're not the boss of me. It's like Jesse, I can do that today if you need me to, but it would really be hard for me. So if I don't have to do that today, if we can't do it today, then I'm gonna, I'm gonna bow out on that and do it another day. It means I had planned to cook this for dinner today. I'm running out of steam. So can you, you got it? It means, and this is my husband, right? This is my husband. This means he would love to have a TV in the bedroom, and I'm like, if you make me, I'll probably never sleep in here. I need one room in the house where there's no noise. It means me communicating to him what I need and saying what I don't really want. Like, I— you have to be able to have those conversations lovingly but also clearly. Like, you're two individual people when you get married. And then you have to figure out how to merge. But merging mean does not mean you don't lose your own identity. And it means letting him know how far he can go, like lovingly, but also, yeah, I can't. It's not about how you— it's not about what you say. It's often about how you say it. It's about me looking at my children who come home from college, my children who come home from college, and telling them what they can and can't do in my home. I love you. I respect the fact that you had freedom, but here's where that freedom stops. Here, this is still my home, and these are the rules of our house. So while you're here, this is what I expect. Because you can do so many things out of fear and refuse to set boundaries because you're afraid that if I say no, or if I don't do it, It won't get done. They won't want to come home. My husband may retaliate. He may give me the silent treatment, or we may get into an argument. Or if I say no, what is my boss going to do? Am I going to get the promotion? And that's why you have to ask yourself, what is required of me? What is God requiring of me to be excellent and to be a good representation of the overflow of God's goodness in my life, his glory, the victory that he's already given me, and to be a person of excellence and kindness and love everywhere that I go? How can I exemplify the power of God at work in my life? And where is the power of God giving me the grace to do what I need to do today? Where his grace runs out, or the power that he has given me is no longer available, that's where you have to set a boundary. And say, I would love to, but I can't. I would love to, son, pay for this semester, but if you're not doing what you're supposed to do in school, I cannot. I also have to be a steward of the finances God has given me. I would love to, daughter, but unfortunately I'm not going to be able to make that work today at the last minute. If you can give me some more notice though, Because sometimes the nap that you plan to take is just as important as the emergency babysitting job you're being asked to give. If you don't say, "I can't," you won't leave room for someone else to say, "I can." If you don't say, "I can't," you won't leave room for someone else to say, "Well, how can I support you in that?" If you don't say, "I can't," you won't leave room for other people to grow. And if you're not willing to say, this is where my train stops, this is where I get off, then you don't leave room for your body and your mind to rebuild, restore, renew. You don't give yourself the opportunity to see something different. What this looks like in my life right now is deciding what I'm not going to do. And there are a lot of things that, um, it's not that I'm not going to do them at all, it's that the way I've done them, I'm not doing them that way. Because everybody has boundaries, everybody has limits, and when you go over your limits, that's the point at which you start losing the grace to stay fruitful, to stay healthy. To stay excited about your life. And boundaries, when you have them in your life, it makes the things you say yes to even sweeter. I want your life to be sweet, and I want you to enjoy the things that God has given you, but you have even a capacity on that. When my, uh, youngest daughter out of the two was a teenager. We gave her some money to go to a hotel sundry shop. She used all of her money not to buy miscellaneous small things, but to buy one big bag of Skittles. She ate the whole bag. So it wasn't the little bag that you get, you know, at the little checkout. It was the big bag, like the party bag. She ate the whole bag. Within an hour, she was in the bathroom throwing up. It was Skittle colors everywhere because too much of a good thing makes you sick. It can taste good, you can enjoy ingesting it, but your system was not designed to handle too much of a good thing. Just because it's good, it doesn't mean you enjoy it all, and it doesn't mean you enjoy it all the time. They have a rule often, you know, I've heard 90/10, I've heard 70/30, but most often I hear 80/20, the 80/20 rule. Even even with how you eat. 80% of the time, eat the way you know you should eat. 20% of the time, enjoy yourself. Have the Coke, you know, eat the dessert, but not on a regular. So with 7 days out of a week, if one day out of the week you know you don't need to eat beef or pork or whatever, if one day out of the week or one day out of the month you enjoy yourself, enjoy yourself. I met with a friend last night who— a new friend who has recently had a cancer journey. And, um, but when we got to the end of our meal, she said, "I think I will have dessert." And I told her, "Listen, I'm not any judgment of what you decide to do with your food, but I just want to tell you, I'm so glad you enjoyed the dessert. And I know that when you've had cancer and if you've had recurring cancer, you want to be really careful about certain things that you allow yourself in your life. But I've seen so many people not enjoy things because they're afraid. They're afraid that if I eat this, I'll get sick again. If I go here, I will contract this disease, or I'll get this skin ailment. If I'm, you know, and so they start editing their lives so much so that they edit the enjoyment right out of it. And I said, I'm glad that every now and then you enjoy dessert. She said, I'm traveling I don't normally have a lot of dessert at home, but I did decide a part of life is just enjoying things because you can every now and then. It's the boundary that makes the enjoyment sweet, and it's the boundary that keeps you healthy. I want you to think about your life where you're sick. Where are you sick? Where do you not have health in your relationships, your spouse, your children, your friendships, your coworkers? Where do you not have health in your finances or in your body? Where do you not have health in your mind or with your time? Where do you not have health? Where do you not feel like you are actually breathing deeply, breathing strongly without ailment? Where are the ailments in your life that you wish you could get rid of? And then ask yourself, what boundary have you not been willing to set? Because I can guarantee you, if there's an ailment, there's a high probability there's a boundary issue. Sometimes helmet comes because life is hard. So there are times when boundaries will not be the problem, but in our life we have so many things that take us so far away from where we're supposed to be and what we're supposed to be doing. And the doing of that is us, is us doing more than what he asked us to do, with more people than he asked us to do it with, with more time than he asked us to commit, with more money and finances than he asked us to give or to, or to donate or to spend. We are doing more because in the society and in the world that we live in, we live in a place and state of abundance. I was talking to my new friend last night about the capacity limit on the generation behind us, and every generation thinks that the generation behind them didn't have it as hard as we did. But we were talking about that, and I said, because every generation makes it easier for the generation that comes after, and then the generation that comes after doesn't have to build the stronger muscle. COVID was hard. A lot of us lost people that we love during that time. But here's what wasn't hard. Most of us kept working. We worked from home. Most of us, for the first 3 weeks, we couldn't find toilet paper, and after that we were fine. We didn't have to get creative, innovative to survive. We just switched habits, and we kept doing what we always did. In fact, we developed new habits with all the social stuff and all the YouTube stuff. That's why a lot of y'all are here, because in COVID you found me. When you limit your capacity, you give yourself the opportunity to build stronger muscles. When you just say, I'm just going to fix it, I'm going to fix it, I'm going to fix it, you just keep doing things a new way. You use the same you to do new things a new way. You don't get innovative because you put a stopper on it. There's a door in a building that I was recently in. It's a new building, and I went in to talk with someone, and while we were standing in the doorway, the door kept closing, and I kept opening it, and then it would close, and then I would open it, and then it would close. And I finally just held my hand on the door, and then she said, the first purchase I'm gonna make in my office— because she was moving into the office— she said, is a door stopper, because I can either keep closing and opening, closing and opening the door. I can even keep holding the door, but all of that involves my energy. Or I can set a boundary and put a stopper in it. I'm still fixing the problem. I'm fixing it in an innovative way, but I'm not engaged with it every 5 seconds, keeping it open. What are you engaged with every 5 seconds, keeping it operable? When you need to just stick a stopper in it and walk away. There's another way to do it. What boundary do you have to set so you are not the one holding the door? So I want you to think about that. Where are the pain points where it's just too much? Where are the ailments where it's just too much on you? Where is the recurring pain point, the door that keeps closing and you keep pushing it open and you keep having to solve the problem over and over and over and over again? Where is it? Time out for this. And it's time for you just to put a stopper in it. It's not your job. What job do you have that's not your job? I want you to ask yourself that question because listen, life is too short for you not to live free. Life is too short for you not to actually have the fullest enjoyment possible out of every opportunity that God gives you. You see my hand on my hip now? Y'all got my hand on my hip. What is it that is keeping you busy with your hands so your head and your heart are not actually able to breathe? Where do you need to say no and leave room for someone else to do it? Where do you need to raise the knife so you can see the ram in the bush? And when you say no, the kind of no that you're giving is not a, y'all not gonna steal my peace. The kind of thing I'm talking about right now is, you not paying me for that. The kind of no I'm talking about is not, ain't no man gonna tell me. I'm not talking about a vicious, self-oriented, protective, fearful response. I actually have a daddy who has told me that there are some things he wants me to do, and there are some places and spaces he wants me to be healthier, and there are some things that I've been dreaming about for my life. He put that dream in me, and so in obedience to him and in honor of the soul of my existence, I can't show up for this or y'all the way I have been in the past. So I'm gonna have to step back or step out of the room, or I'm gonna have to put a stopper in the door. It's not my job any longer to hold this open for you, but I want the door open, so I'm gonna stick a stopper in it and I'm gonna walk away. It's not about what you want for yourself as much as it's about what God wants for you. And how do you know? You gotta be talking to God. One of the reasons why I wrote the 28-Day Prayer Journey is because I wasn't writing a book, I was writing Instagram posts, and then it turned into years later a book. It was me saying, I gotta communicate with God, I gotta hear from him, I gotta make sure I'm getting these things off my chest, I gotta make sure that I'm not losing instruction and direction because I'm not making time for intimacy. So I showed up every day and just prayed. 28 days, multiple times a day. That's what I did. I didn't want to miss it. So let me pray for you. God, there are girls watching right now, probably a few guys too, who are missing out on their life because they're busy living the life that they think they're supposed to live or that other people won't want them to live. They're busy, not focused on the things you want me to do, but focusing on all the things that need to get done. And they have the capacity to do it. They are consumed with solving problems and plugging holes and making sure things make it to the finish line. And the point is that as they do this, they are doing this to the detriment of what you want for them. Would you help us to live with limits? Would you help us to see our own boundaries? Would you help us to live with the budget, to draw boundary lines with our kids? Would you help us to not have to be the person who does everything, but who empowers other people and leaves room for other people to do well? Would you help us to love our spouse as well by being willing to communicate clearly about what we need and what we don't need? Would you help us to put the fork down? Would you help us to not pick up the credit card when there's something that we want so badly that we get into debt for it? Would you help help us to be content so that we're not living outside of our means financially, emotionally, or mentally to accomplish and do what other people think we should accomplish and do. Would you help us to realize that we have boundaries to get enough sleep because we are built to need a break from the daily grind? And then would you help the people who are watching or listening to this episode to see clearly where their boundary line be. And as we prune back, would you help the parts that need to grow higher, further, to be more lush, to clearly have growth that we couldn't have planned for, fruitfulness that we could not have manipulated, that the development of things we didn't even know could grow on the trunk of our existence— would those things take our breath away? Would the fruit on the trees that we can eat of be sweeter than the fruit on the tree we have to say no to? Show us our boundary lines and help us to live within the construct of the boundary lines you've provided for us. And then give us fruitfulness, lives that we're excited to live experiences that we are proud to share, and a harvest that we could not have brought about without your sanctioning. I pray for the 25-year-old who needs to know when to work harder and when to pull back, when to lean into her mother's instruction and when to say, actually, God can speak to me. I pray for the 35-year-old that needs to have boundaries on her kids at home, put them to bed, give them naps, not cook every little thing that every person wants to eat. I pray for the 35-year-old who is dating and is miserable because she's lonely, to have boundaries on her body and on her sex life. I pray for the 40-year-old who's trying to figure out what career to operate in now, and would you help her to know whether she should stay or go, try something new or stick with the old? I pray that you would show her whether she's supposed to go out on her own or whether you never ask her to go on her on her own, and so it's time to fold the business. I pray for the 50-year-old who is right now caring for the ministry, and she's been doing this ministry for 20, 30 years, who knows it's time to pass on the baton, but the youngins are not going to do it right. If it's her season to be done, give her freedom to release it, and you show her who the ram in the bush might be. For the 60-year-old who thinks she's out of time, would you please show her how much time she actually has? And would you give her the ability to set boundaries on all the things she's released herself to do because she thinks the season is over from the things you intended her to do? Help her to not believe that it's too late for the 70-year-old. Would you help her to see what she can do in her body as opposed to what she can't do because the season has passed by? Would you help her to celebrate her life and health and strength in this season? And if she's 80 and beyond, Would you help her to see that there's never time that we run out of needing her wisdom? For the woman who's watching, who needs boundaries, show us the boundary lines of our existence. Speak clearly, speak loudly. When we move across the boundary lines, zap us if you have to. Help us to be so undone in our spirit that we know we crossed the line. Help our conscious to work not out of guilt and out of shame, but out of response to a holy God who speaks to us loud and clear. You have the power to speak. You have the power to talk, to let us know in our minds and in our hearts where we're going and where we're not going. Speak now, Lord. Your girls want to listen. Your guys do too. And we want to be fruitful, and we don't want to get to our lives and see all the vines that had small fruit, but had we pruned them, we would have had a greater, long-lasting legacy. If we're here and we don't leave a legacy, if we don't leave our mark, what were we here for? The only reason we'll leave a mark is if we do things your way. It's a bunch of people who are watching this who want to leave a mark, and we won't if we burn out too soon or too fast. So help us to set our boundaries. And as we do and we see the ram in the bush, we'll be sure to give you glory and to tell people how, when we live within our defined spaces, how you provided. Because you're the God who can make a way out of no way. I pray this blessing in this prayer on the people who are watching, God, who need to do more than what they're doing because they're actually not fully inhabiting their territory. They're not taking on the full responsibility at work. They are not engaging with the possibility that you've given them to make wealth. They are not exercising authority in their home. And instead of letting their kids run them, they need to be letting, uh, they're showing their kids that they run the show. I pray for those people who are not meek to the point that you've asked them to be meek, but they're too meek. They're quiet when they should to speak up. They have visions and dreams that they are not going to bat for, and they've been deposited in them by the power of the Holy Spirit, and they are not inhabiting their boundaries. You have expanded their territory and they're not taking it all up because they're ashamed, or because they don't think they have the gift, or because they're not sure that they have the capacity, when you have already given them the capacity. Lord, I pray right now for the person who's listening to this right now, in the sound of their voice, feel it in their body like I feel it in their body, that right now you would give them the sight to see exactly what you have put inside of their boundary that they have been shrinking back from. And I pray that right now, just like the person who needs to know where to put the stopper in the door is going to stop, I pray that the person who needs to go and put their hand on the door and control the flow of traffic will be empowered and set free to do so. And The whole point is, You could have done all that You're going to do without us. We want to engage with the plans You have for us. Show us where to say no, and show us where to go ahead and go. And whatever we're able to do because You guided and directed us, we'll say thank You. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen.