Chrystal Evans Hurst and Priscilla Shirer Talk Loss, Legacy, and Trusting God Anyway

Every year I try to host at least one sister circle event where I gather women together to learn, grow, connect, and have fun. But I'm a podcaster, so you better believe on the program will be chats with my friends. And when I chat, I'm pressing record. My favorite conversations will always be the ones I have with my family. So sit back, relax, and enjoy this amazing conversation that I had with my sister, Priscilla Shire. And I'm glad to seal the deal this afternoon with a very special guest that I had to work so hard to get to join me. I had to find somebody who knew someone on her team so that I could even just find an email to send an email to her speaking bureau so that I could see— I didn't tell you, I didn't tell you to come up yet. Lies.

These are all lies. She sent me a text message and said, if you don't get your butt to this event, we're gonna have problems. And I said, yes ma'am.

You did. You never say yes ma'am, ever.

I'm just saying, don't be up here lying on me.

And I was even— I was getting to— I was being lighthearted.

Okay, go ahead.

Thank you. So what had happened was, finally, I got through to her speaking bureau, which is basically her husband, Jerry Shire. And he said, "Let me double-check our calendar." But y'all know Priscilla. She does all the things. And the best thing that she does is be my only sister. She's the only one. We talk every day. She tries— most days. She tries to call me before the day gets busy. What time does my day get busy?

6:00 AM. If I don't talk to her at the latest 7:00, if I get in before 7:00, I can probably catch you. But Chrystal, once she gets started, it is all— every minute of the day she has full with something she's doing. But you're so productive.

I'm going to come back to that. But she calls every day. She is a cheerleader. It's great. It's great. But she is a cheerleader. And even if I don't want to cheerlead, she is going to find something. Silver lining. Miss Positivity. Miss Gymnastics. Like, like if you want real, if you want bottom line, if you want A to Z, how do we get there? If you want every nook and cranny checked in a spreadsheet, call me. If you want somebody to make sure that even if it's not going to work, that she will still cheerlead you and make you feel good about who you are and who God created you to be, I'll be like, girl, that's going to fail. And she's going to say, but God created you in his image. In all seriousness, I am grateful. I'm gonna start hot. I am grateful, for real, that God gave you to me as a sister. For real. And I think we've said it a few times, and probably, I think Anthony says it most often, or he said it more before, but it takes two of us to make mommy. Like, we— my mother was very, very practical, very real, very detail-oriented. But she was also such a great cheerleader to all of us in so many ways that we are still finding out. And Priscilla, you are like a— you like being a cheerleader, like a secret Santa Claus. You delight, delight in getting gifts and delight in making dreams come true and delight in doing all the things.

And The—

there is no fullness of Lois Evans without both of us, without you. So, anyway, so it's fun. We're all doing all of our things, but sometimes we get to share a stage and it's great. I ask you to come today because you are the going beyond person. Your ministry literally is called Going Beyond Ministries. And we are talking this weekend about what it takes to make a mark. And on both sides of— the line. There is how you and I both feel that people wanna leave a legacy or walk according to calling or purpose or do something major for the Lord. And they have decided in their own heads that it has to be something notable, significant, out loud, in front. And you and I both know, because of Mom and Dad, but also, much of marking has to do with things that people don't see and celebrate. But on the other hand, because you are also a cheerleader and you just don't think that it's not possible until we've tried, you also have a, "Well, why is this not possible?" Like, you don't have a limited thinking, naturally. My dad tells the story when we went on family vacation to Niagara Falls and the hotel was full, and we're circling around trying to figure out where we're going to stay. And it's Priscilla that said, Well, have we prayed about it yet? And in that season, which you were probably, what, 8, 9, 10, somewhere in there, a room opened up. And so at that age, you had the opportunity to see, "I prayed and God answered." So that's— I think you have balanced bigness and meekness. And I think when we're thinking about making a mark, we have to consider both because we can either think limited or we can think less of ourselves when it comes to what really matters. So I'd like to start with the big part. If that's okay. Why do you believe— that's rain. Mm-hmm. Why is it easy? I'm going to make that assumption. Why is it easy for you to believe that big things are possible?

Hi, everybody. It's wonderful to be with all of you and to be with my sister, too. To answer that question, the main thing that comes to my mind is basically what you said, that we were raised by parents who allowed us to be in positions where they let us cooperate with them in the process of seeing God bring something to fruition, whatever it was. Whether it was Daddy didn't plan a hotel room for us to stay in.

Is that what happened?

Girl, I think he just didn't plan a hotel. And you know, Lois was like, "No, you didn't, Joyce." She was hot. Yes. And so we got there. I did not know that. And we might have gotten there a little bit early, I think. Like, the drive didn't take as long.

Yeah.

In the month of August, that was Dad's month off, our whole growing up. So we would get in a van that they would borrow from someone.

So the plan was not to plan, because maybe we were going to see how far we could drive or something like that before we—

Maybe. Something like that.

I'm trying to give him some credit.

Yeah. There was no hotel room.

There was no hotel room.

That's all I know. And 4 kids in a minivan, and you've driven all the way to— actually, I think it was the Grand Canyon.

Oh, you're right, you're right.

It was the Grand Canyon. So, we'd driven to the Grand Canyon and then there's no hotel. And so, anyway, my point is there were situations like that where our parents weren't sort of off adulting it and figuring it out. We knew when there was lack or deficiency or there was a need, whether it was in the church or whether it was in our family, even spats we were having amongst each other or whatever. And they brought us into this process of, "Let's trust God together." So all I can say is that I think that was cultivated in the context of our parents letting us see when there was struggle and when there was need, and then us praying together and then seeing, making a record, like they would connect the dots. Like, you see, God did that, right? You remember we prayed about that, and then look what the Lord has done. And so those connections were made in our life. And to me, that was the framework for just believing God. I just believe that God is able to do the thing. Whether he chooses to do it or not, that's his business. My, my business is believing that he can. So I just trust him.

It's so good. So what do you— what, what helps you when he doesn't? Does believing become— well, let me start with this— does believing become difficult? For you, or do you kind of— 'cause I do think there is, based on different personalities, people's tendency, and you are positive, optimistic, you know, and so, what happens when God doesn't do, or isn't doing what you believe he can, but he's just not?

I say this sensitively because I do know that there are personality differences that do make it harder or easier depending upon the way you're naturally wired. But I genuinely believe that That personality trait has nothing to do with whether or not you're gonna believe God. That if he's good on the mountain, he's still good in the valley. That's about his character. That doesn't shift regardless of whether my personality is wired that way or not. I've gotta decide. I've gotta decide that I am trusting him when mom is sick. And that if he chooses to answer by taking her home to be with him, that somehow, that is a better answer than what it was I was asking for. I've got to decide that I believe that when my heart is broken, when my kids make a decision, you know, when your children decide something and you're looking at them like, who raised you? Like, what made you think that would be a good decision? Or they're acting in immaturity, or you're just like, oh man, and you're watching them go a direction that, that is not your preference for them. Even then, Lord, I'm trusting that all things work together for good. And not just to over-spiritualize it, it's just I have to make a decision in and of myself that he is good, he is kind. He is faithful. He loves me. He is omnipresent. He sees generationally. There's stuff I cannot even fathom that is on the mind of God that is beyond what my own comprehension can even begin to, to make sense of. So again, being sensitive to the fact that it probably is easier for some if someone's wired like a pessimist or wired as an optimist or whatever, but, but it boils down to the fact where we have to just choose. We're either going to trust God or not. Because life is out here lifin'.

Life is out here doing the most. Okay, but it's lifin' for you.

Really? Why do you say that?

And I'm saying that because someone would say, "Well, that's easy for you to say." And whether it's you or someone else, we look at other people's lives and we go, I mean, life is lifin', but I mean, girl, you an actress that's been in 17 movies. How can life be lifin'?

She made that up. That's not true.

How many movies have you been in?

Four.

So you're an actress.

No, I'm not an actress.

Who has been in 4 movies that have been in full-blown movie theaters that people all over the world have seen and don't want to say they're an actress?

Because just because you've done something once or twice does not make you an expert in that field. It doesn't make you— someone could say that I have helped my child get better. That doesn't make them a doctor. There are people who have studied the craft of acting. It's a whole industry. They've learned the skill of it. They are actors. I have respect for that. So I refuse to just kind of be in it every now and then and then say, "I'm an actress." Have you ever seen a bad movie? I've seen terrible movies. We've all seen terrible movies.

Have you ever seen a bad actress?

Yes, we have all seen.

So whether she studied the craft or not, she was in them. She was in the film.

She, she—

Bad movie, bad actress.

Don't be up here trying to big sister me. I can decide. No, I get your point. I have acted in films. I'm just saying I have respect for people. But this is their industry.

Can you have respect for other people and yourself be an inexperienced actress?

Yes. OK.

So are you an actress?

Why do you keep trying to back me in a corner about this?

Because I just think it's odd that you won't own being an actress.

OK, I'm an actress.

Very good. OK. Everybody give her a round of applause.

I, however—

Woo!

I want to say, this is a thought that comes to my head though when we have this conversation, 'cause this kind of jokingly happens all the time. But this is the way I feel about it honestly. I feel like I am in ministry. I feel like I am a minister. There are many ways that the Lord has allowed me to do that. So I also hesitate to say I'm a speaker or I'm a writer, anything like that, because actually I'm a minister. And there are scripts that come across our desk, as you know, and it would be fun, and maybe at some other point in life, the Lord will allow me to do that. But I know there are actors who this is their job. They can do the fun script. The one that highlights Jesus as Lord, that's what I feel compelled to do because I don't feel like I'm an actress. I feel like, no, I'm a minister. So, if this allows me the opportunity to minister to people who may never pick up a book I've written, they may never come to Sister Circle Retreat, they may never read a Bible study or something like that, but they will go sit in a movie theater, and that person can maybe be impacted by the Holy Spirit through that film, that's the purpose to me. So I think that's another reason why I hesitate, 'cause I'm just like, "Well..." I just feel like it's a more comprehensive reason why I'm doing it in the first place.

You sound like somebody who once said, "You're not just a doctor. You're God's representative in the medical field." Yeah. So, when the medical field wants to know what God looks like when he shows up and he heals a body—

lawyer, You're not just a lawyer, you're God's representative in the legal field. That's right. So the Bar Association gets to see what God looks like when God tries a case.

Secretary, you're not just a secretary, you're somebody who, when God— people want to know what God looks like when God types a letter, he can say, this is what God looks like when God types a letter.

Social justice advocate, you're not just a social justice advocate, you're God's representative for the underprivileged and the marginalized. So that they can see what God looks like when God levels the playing field.

Mm. And minister of the gospel? You minister the gospel when you're an actress. And it's not just that you're an actress, it's that people want to see what it looks like when an actress who's also a minister shows up and is the lead actress in a movie.

I am an actress. That was quintessential Tony Evans, by the way. That was totally Dad.

We need to make sure he sees that clip.

Yeah.

And he's going to say, y'all always copying me.

Absolutely. Absolutely. Rightfully so.

So many things in what you were just saying, because number one, what you clearly stated was, this is who I am. And this is what I'm supposed to be doing to make my mark. Actressing or a Prince Warrior series, you know, or the many things that you've done either in name or in anonymity to donate to causes or people that are in need. I mean, the list could go on and on. They all sprout from the one thing that you're doing. To make your mark, and everything else is overflow. Do you find that often, because people are shooting for overflow, they miss the mark?

Absolutely. That's such a great question. And I think that one of the negative overflows of social media is that, that we're always seeing what people are posting that looks like this. It looks big and shiny and flashy. And so then that becomes the aspiration. But, and there are a lot of noble people, so I'm not saying that there's a negative reason why they're posting that. I'm saying that what they didn't post was the 20 years of investment before that. So everybody's shooting for that, but there were seeds that were planted, there was character that was built, there was resilience that the Lord was establishing in them. There were relationships, sacred assignments and relationships and intersections that were being made all along the way. So if we miss this process part, if we devalue the part of the process, just headed for some theoretical destination that we think makes our mark and makes it, um, worth the investment, then we've missed out on what I think is the most important part to God. And that's what he's doing in your life, how he's sanctifying us and molding us into his image and preparing us to be kingdom representatives in whatever way he's called us to. So I think, yes, I think that our goal has to shift and be different from what we see on other people's social media feeds or admire about a person that we see in front of us, to, Lord, what is it you want me to do today? What have you put in front of me right now to do today? Would Would you make me faithful in action, but also in attitude? Like, make my attitude right, so that I want to do the assignment in these dirty dishes, and these diapers, and this Bible study group with 4 women. Would you make it so that I find such delight in this right here, and understand, to the extent that I am faithful here, will be the extent to which I am prepared for what you have next?

Okay, so it's March, and if you're like me, 2026 is in full regalia, and you're like, I didn't do what I said I was going to do. I was supposed to be further along than I am right now. It's okay. You're not by yourself. The job that you and I have right now is staying awake. Like, don't stop paying attention to your life. So if you're trying to figure out if you're awake or you want to know what to do if you're not, I need you to go right now to thesistercircle.com/awake. I got quiz for you to take and some things to help you get back on track. 'Cause the year is not over.

We're still at the beginning of it.

And you have time to do something with this year and do something with your life. Thesistercircle.com/awake. Go take the quiz right now. Okay, my brain is going in 3 directions. Number 1, we were— we got diverted just a second ago when I said, "People may not believe that life is lifin' for you, but that they'll see." what God has done in your life, or social media, or when they hear you speak, and they just make assumptions about the rest of the story. What do you do? I know it's a lot. This makes me wish I was at home in the bed. I was like, "On days like this, we supposed to be at home in the bed." You know what I'm saying? Under the covers.

And it's a Saturday, too?

Shucks.

You got us out here in these streets. I mean.

I'm saying, do y'all ever find yourself out and you were like, "Why am I out? I'm supposed to be at home in the bed." I'm trying to ignore it, but anyway. So, people will make that assumption. Yeah, understood. And it trips us up. So, whether it's you or someone else, it's like, "This person is sharing truth with me, but they don't get my life." So, we start disqualifying ourselves from the truth of what they're saying because, "Well, they're saying it's bad, but I mean, they haven't had my stuff. So, what they're saying then doesn't apply." How can we guard ourselves against that or even making assumptions based on people that are giving us truth, whether or not we can listen?

Well, first of all, I can totally relate because I understand what you're saying. I do the same thing. We all tend to put people on pedestals, whatever our perception is of their life. So, So I'm pausing and answering your question because I just want to give a little bit of testimony, if you don't mind. Many of you all know we've lost family members. I don't think a lot of people know we've lost 10 family members. Those 10 family members in the past 5 years, 2 of them passed— 3 of them passed away in our— in my home. My son found his grandmother who just went to take a nap. She was completely healthy. Or generally healthy. She just went to take a nap and didn't wake up. My son found her. Their uncle died in our home in front of them, just collapsed. In the middle of that, I had a health thing out of nowhere that was pretty severe, required a pretty severe surgery. Didn't know what the consequence would be of that surgery and them having to remove a lobe of my lung. So there has been a catastrophe to be honest, over the past 5 years. But beyond just that chronic, or not chronic, what's the, acute, acute moment of pain and crisis in all of our lives, life is out here lifin' for everybody. So I've been married 26 years. Let's just start there. 'Cause if you're married, Life is lifin'. I mean, relating to someone, trying to have connection with them, trying to keep alive what it is that makes a marriage a marriage while you're going through menopause. And the realities of all the things happening in your body and your mind and your heart and the struggles of watching your body, in a way, this sounds dramatic, but deteriorate in a way. Like, your body starts to betray you where you like, What are you doing? What knees? What are you doing? You know, where you start to feel the aging process. And then just, you know, we live in the world and we're all impacted by what we're seeing happen in the economy and how it's impacting all of us, every single one of us. So I just share a piece of that because I do think it's necessary to know that life is life and for everybody and that Even y'all in our closer spheres, the one friend in your sphere who looks the most polished, she's the one. She's the one that maybe is not as open and maybe she doesn't share as readily as everyone else, but if someone asked her, "Girl, how are you for real?" You would be amazed the stuff that's going on behind the closed doors, either of her home or her heart or her mind, and she puts, she polishes it well so nobody Nobody knows. But for all, I mean, because Earth is ghetto. That's what we say to each other when we're talking about Earth. Earth is a little bit ghetto. Have you noticed? Like, it's just kind of like this one thing happening after the other. And we're all struggling and trying to find our way through it. So I was just giving a little bit of testimony there. But your question was— do you remember? I don't even recall what the actual question was.

No, I don't remember. I'm 53. But I— the idea of people don't believe you're going through something. And so, how do we guard ourselves against assuming that what they're saying can't mean something to me because I don't see how it has been a reality? My reality is a part of their situation.

I think it's the same lens that we have to take to the scriptures. When we read the scriptures, it's like, "Okay, these people are not exceptions to the rule." God allowed them to be in the scriptures so they could be examples to us as to what happens when God takes a regular person who chooses to surrender, or through hard things is put in a position where they have no choice but to surrender, Jonah. And you say, "Okay, Lord, this was a regular guy." Ruth was a regular woman who lost and was devastated and was dislocated into a place where, where she was in unfamiliar territory. And yet, at the right time, you brought what needed to be brought into her life to put her in a position she could have never imagined for herself. These aren't exceptions to the rule. They're God's example to us to show us, here's what I do with regular folk. And I think we have to take that same perception into our life as we relate to each other, or we're looking at someone from afar whose ministry or whose excellence in their craft or industry we can rejoice in and blesses us, or we're entertained by if they're entertainers, or we're— you know, encouraged by if they're in ministry or whatever. We have to remember these people are not exceptions to the rule. They are just a person who either, again, is excellent in their craft or who, when we look at ministry, who has chosen and decided to continue to cultivate their relationship with the Lord and allow the Holy Spirit to still utilize them to bless other people despite the fact that they're still wrestling and struggling in the regular rhythms of their everyday life. I'mma tell you something. I don't know, and I've told Daddy this, I don't know that his ministry has ever been more impactful to me, and he's been my pastor for 50 years, 5-0 years. I do not know that his ministry has ever been more impactful to me than after we lost Mom. Because, y'all, I'm telling you that the morning that Mom slipped away, we were, all 4 of us were right around her. Dad was right there next to her. We were all laying in the bed standing around. She was literally taking her last breaths. As she's taking her last breaths, and we knew it was happening because her breaths were spreading out, so we knew it was happening. Dad's sitting there reading Psalm 91 out loud over his family. Here's what we gonna do. Here's what we're going to believe. Tears falling down his face, heartbroken. Can't really believe that God didn't answer our request to heal her because he could have done it. He chose not to. So here's her husband sitting there choosing to still believe that the words of Psalm 91 are true, even in the face of death. And then I watched him— was it the next night? Mm-hmm. Go to Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship Church, 'cause it was New Year's Eve the next day. He goes to Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship Church, stands in front of the congregation, and commences to honor God, to bless the name of the Lord, despite the fact that his wife just went to heaven the day before. And I'm watching him, tears streaming down his face. There was a— all I can describe is there was a— I hate the word moist. I don't like the way it sounds, but moist, it gives me the ick. But all I can— but when I think of Dad in those— the years right after, we would describe him as moist or wet, meaning he always looked wet. His eyes were always on the verge of spilling tears if they weren't. We've never seen that much emotion from our dad in a consistent way like that. And to watch him be in that state and to still honor God with his family and honor God in his calling and ministry, that's supernatural. Like, I'm saying that's supernatural. And I saw— I watched him as a pastor And seeing him in flesh like that, not really wanting to eat much, you know, having trouble sleeping. Like, we knew all that. We on the phone with him. Me and Dad talked like at 3:00 AM most every night in the whole year after Mom died. 3:00 AM, we'd just be on the phone 'cause he couldn't sleep. So watching him in his frailty and yet still choosing to show up at his post in private ways in our family, but also in the ministry the Lord had assigned to him, Yes, it would have been a miracle if God healed mom, but it also is a miracle when he doesn't do what you're asking and you can still show up in your life because he sustained you. That's no less of a miracle. You can still function after you've been through that, sis. You can still get up and put your clothes on and mother your other children when your heart has been broken like that after that betrayal and that Um, divorce after that, breaking of your heart, and you can still function in the capacity God has called you to? That is a miracle. That's a miracle. So knowing and having seen that up close and personal with Dad, um, I, I don't know that I've ever been parented better in terms of my spiritual life and realizing that following God is worth it than watching Dad honor God through this. But that helps me to put flesh on people, is what I'm saying.

Just knowing.

Knowing that people are showing up anyway. It's not 'cause it's easy. It's because God is sustaining them, and they're feeling encouraged and challenged by God's Spirit, that he will be faithful to present them faultless before the throne of grace. So, you watch that enough, and you go, "Oh, you know what? People are out here really hurting and struggling." They've just decided to follow Jesus.

You have— y'all have 3 boys, 20, almost 3. That's not boys. That's a young man. That's a man. That's a man, man. And then JC is 21 already. And then Jude just turned 17. You are so passionate and confident and bold, verbose, positive, and cheerleader-ish about not only all things faith, as you just expressed what you believe, but also their potential. But then they have to choose. So when you have such a deep belief and you want it so badly for them and you've got to let them figure it out. What are you learning in this season of understanding the importance of like, son, toe the line? I know that you say to them all the time, you got to decide who you're going to want to be. And like all the stuff that you're chasing after, don't worry about that. Like, decide who you're going to be. The rest will come, but you cannot do it for them. What is that looking like and feeling like for you in this season?

It feels and looks like letting go, loosening my grip, letting go, which means letting them go to the mistakes and the consequences thereof, letting them go to the joys and triumphs of having figured a thing out and hopefully reaping the benefits from that as well, releasing them to the sadness of when they have worked hard for a thing and they still weren't picked or it still didn't level out the way they thought it would be. And watching them have to toil with that and struggle with, with that disappointment, it means letting them go. And that is hard. But I know that— and I'm saying this mostly from a mother of boys because I got boys— so I know that they will not man all the way up if I don't let them go. They won't man up. I will actually hinder their masculine development if I don't release them to even— the hardest part, again, is the consequences of their actions. So I just stand back and go, "I'm so sorry for you. I can't help you. Figure it out. Figure it out." And it's hard to do that when you know that you could provide a response or a help or resources. But I know they will not man up if I don't step back and let them deal with their own lives.

It's true. Um, she calls me it.

I was about to say I learned that from you, actually. Really? Yeah, girl, you, you are the man up queen.

Am I? I feel like I'm kind of overbearing and meddling.

No, no, those are about things that are a matter of character. You're not that way in terms of making sure they are utilizing their physical bodies to do handy things, to be resourceful. You don't know how to change the light bulb, you don't know how to change the tire.

I know that's true.

Go look it up.

Go to Home Depot. You can do it. They can help.

That's right.

Go ask them. Yeah, they will. Yeah. There are just some times in my brain where it clicks. I have young, capable, smart young men at my house that don't know how to do it, but they can figure it out. So why am I out there with a hammer and a nail if they are here and can do that? But, but, but I also, I also, like you, I'm like, man, I just, I don't— if life would just be so much easier if you would follow the prescription I'm laying out for you. And I do, I feel mentally, so that's encouraging to me to hear that you're like, "No, you back up some." Well, yeah, I mean—

A little bit. I mean, you're doing a good job. You are. You're doing a good job.

Well, what I was gonna say is—

We're all trying to figure it out. We're all trying to figure it out. Like, all do the best we can.

She calls me 6 or 7 o'clock in the morning sometimes because she's trying to catch me before the day gets going. No matter what time of day I call her, What are you doing?

Oh my gosh. This sounds so bad. What you're— the way you set that up.

Ah! What do people think you're doing? This is not the truth, but what do people think you're doing if they call you in the middle of the day? Particularly on a rainy day like this.

What do they think I'm doing? They probably think— you talking about my family, if they call me? Y'all.

Yeah.

They probably think I'm going to be in the bed, and I'm going to be watching something or reading something, but I'm going to be snuggled up in the bed.

Correct.

Yes. And that is correct.

And I say that because personality at work, you're a pretty relaxed, you know, que sera, sera kind of thing. And I'm like, just follow my spreadsheet.

You know, that's too much work. You be doing too much. I'm a very productive person, but I am— I value— to me, one of the biggest luxuries in life is margin. So I create and protect margin at all costs. And you find a lot of joy in being extremely busy.

I don't— is it busy? Is it busy or is it productive? Hey, I don't need y'all helping. I don't need— y'all are not on this show. You're not on the show.

You like to be doing the most.

Well, I asked that because we talked about, uh, we talked about margin last night. Um, often I will say when people are teaching you, preaching to you, sharing with you, they're doing that because they're learning the lesson or have learned the lesson. Did you teach the lesson on margin? I wasn't here last night.

Last night. Was that, was that your seminar, or did someone else do that one? Are y'all— I'm sorry, y'all saying that she stood up here with a microphone and taught on margin? How'd it go? So you're saying what you were about to say was sometimes you're teaching from a place where you are you're trying to cultivate that aspect of your life in that area. Chrystal, do you think that you do well with creating margin in your life? That's an honest question. Do you think that you do well with margin?

So what I was going to say is two things. Number one, I was going to say we each not just you and I, but each of us, we have whatever area of the spectrum we operate on, and we can tend to excess.

Yes.

So, you will say to me, "Girl, I'm not worried about that, but should I be worried about that? Like, should I?" And then, I will say, "Girl, I'm doing XYZ. Should I let that go?" So, there's a tendency aspect. The second thing that I was going to say is, there is a— this is not going to come out right either, but there's a capacity. We can honor each other's capacity. So she will say, girl, that should wear you out. And I'm like, no, actually, I'm having a good time. And she'd be like, I would never want to do that. Now, that said, I do think that I, I do not tend naturally to margin. However, I do enjoy them. I do enjoy margin in ways that are joyful to me. Like, I tell you, every night when I get in the bed Girl, this is my favorite time of the day when I get in the bed. And before that, I am happily doing other things. So I think while I do need to work on it, I do have it. I probably don't desire it, need it, or want it to the degree that you naturally do, because this is how you've always been. I remember when you had that job working as the leasing agent for that guy in Dallas, and Mommy could not understand how you had so much free time. She was like, you went to college because you were supposed to get a job. Like, how are you just available to lunch with me in the middle of the day? And you were like, I met my quotas. I did what I was supposed to do. And she was like, kind of, well, you should do more. And you were like, no, the whole point of this job is I want to do the least amount possible so I can pay my bills and be satisfied with life. And the reason why I'm going in that direction is because we talked about money this afternoon, and sometimes we think that the abundance or overflow of money is an indication of whether or not we're meeting our mark. And often that abundance is not true because of what we have given up to get it. So you can have more. In your case, you were like, I have what I want and I'm living in a small apartment, but I'm satisfied because I have freedom.

Yes.

And some of us are trading our freedom for the money and we're not satisfied. Yes.

I mean, I'm serious that that is such a valuable insight right there that we are— we are so discontent with what we have that we don't even realize we're trading our peace of mind. We're trading the joy of having a moment to take a walk, to read a book, to hang out with friends because we have to work so hard. To keep up with a lifestyle that we're not even enjoying because we never at the house anyway that we bought with money we didn't have. And so we're having to work so hard to keep up with it. We're not even enjoying it. So you're right. I will have to say, and again, I say this in humility, not in a prideful way at all, but I'm saying one of the biggest gifts I feel like the Lord has given me is contentment. I am content. I don't have to do more. I don't have to write more. I don't have to be in a bigger thing. I'm just very content with what is. And one of the— my husband has said to me, one of the biggest gifts I've ever given him was that when we were in, you know, we were in a very small house for 10 years raising the 3 boys. Really?

You were happy to be there?

Oh, so happy to be here. And I said to him, if we move and that means either one of us has to work more, I'm not interested. I'd rather stay in this house on this little plot of land out here in this country for the rest of our lives. And we get to actually have time to sit in a rocking chair. And enjoy the breeze and watch our kids play. I'd rather do this and not have to be busy and grinding and hustling and trying to figure out the finances rather than have more. And then we never enjoy each other or the stuff that God has given us. And that's just been my mentality, period. I just don't want— I don't want the lifestyle that comes with trying to keep up with the Joneses we've created in our own mind. And it used to be that the Joneses were just the people right there. Now the Joneses are on your phone. And our kids are seeing all the Joneses from everywhere across the entire earth. And they're all trying— we're all trying to keep up with an unreachable standard. That's a filter anyway. It's not even they real life.

The people that posted it, it is not even their real life.

And you have no idea the cost of acquiring that thing and the headache that has come with the upkeep of that thing. And then we're trying to do it ourselves. And I am grateful to say that God has given me and Jerry a sense of contentment. Just, we just all right with what currently is. And so, I pray for that, for all of us. I pray for that for all of us, that we will be contented with what God has currently give us. I'm on a little soapbox now, I'm sorry.

Go ahead. I was gonna ask you to get on a soapbox, okay? Take us on out.

This is the thing, y'all. We don't know the beauty sometimes of a season of life until we're out of it. 'Cause we're always longing for the next thing. When you're single, you wanna be married. And then when you're married, when we gonna have the kids? Then you have the kids and oh my goodness, when they gonna go to college? Then they go to college. It's always, we're looking to the next thing. You can look to the next thing, but balance it with contentment so that you don't miss the gift of the thing you're currently in. 'Cause when the winds of change do blow and they will blow and you'll get into the next season. You will look back and realize, oh my goodness, there was so much joy there. There were lessons to be learned there. There was peace there. There was contentment there. But if you don't open up your spiritual eyes, ask the Lord seriously, Lord, would you open up my spiritual eyes to get all the good stuff of the season I'm in before I'm out of it? There's a book I read years ago. I can't even necessarily recommend it to you because I don't remember all the details of this. 20 years ago I read it. But it was called "The Gift of an Ordinary Day." "The Gift of an Ordinary Day." I love that phrase so much now because this woman's point was, if I would have known that some of the last things were the last time I was gonna be able to do that thing, I would have just sat with it more. Like bathing my boy and didn't know that the next time I tried to bathe the boy, that would be when he was like, "Mom, I got it myself." I don't want you to be in here with me in the bathroom anymore. She said, I would have just enjoyed the gift of this ordinary, mundane thing that at the time seemed like, ugh, I got to do it again. But if I would have known it was the last time, I would have enjoyed the ordinariness of it. So when your health fails, that's when you look back and go, I should have enjoyed taking walks. But in the moment, you ain't taking the walks because I ain't got time for that. But then the season changes and you can't. Ask the Lord for contentment with where we are, to enjoy the simple pleasures of where you are, because the seasons will change and you and I might not have the privilege to do some of the things that are small details now but will seem like luxuries later.

Mm-hmm.

So when I had that surgery, they had to take out the upper lobe of my lung on the left side, the whole lobe. And I remember thinking, what does that mean about oxygen? What does that mean about my breathing? And I remember having to use a walker to just— they want you to walk right after surgery. So I was home 5 days later. I'm walking around the house with a walker. Can barely walk. And then after 6 weeks, I remember getting on a treadmill. I got on a treadmill at 2.0, so slow. I could barely walk 6 minutes. And I remember crying, crying tears. And Jerry coming in there and going, "You okay?" And I was like, "No, I can't believe this is my life." 'Cause y'all, walking is my love language. I walk like an hour, hour and 15 minutes every day.

I love it.

I love walking. So I was like, "I can't believe I can't walk." I can't breathe anymore. Gratefully, the doctor had said to me, if you won't let that stop you when you can only do 6 minutes at 2.0, if you'll keep doing 6 minutes at 2.0, it'll get to 7 at 2.1, and then it will get to 8 minutes at 2.2. If you just keep going. And gratefully, 5, 6 years later, I'm back to normal where I was. But the point was, it occurred to me in the moment I could not walk for more than 5 minutes without breathing so hard like I was running a marathon. It occurred to me what a gift it had been all the days before. That I had walked without thinking about it, just walking through the neighborhood, enjoying listening to worship music, breathing normally, having conversations. It occurred to me that I had not appreciated it in the way that I should. So I'm telling y'all, every time now that I go outside to walk, I am just saying, "Ooh, Lord, thank you so much that my legs work today, and thank you so much that my lungs work today." And every now and then when I'm doing a Peloton class, oh my goodness, Lord have mercy, it's terrible. One of the instructors will say in that class, "Turn your resistance up," which means it's gonna be harder to pedal. And then she'll say, "What a privilege." Oh, and every time she says that, "What a privilege that you get to turn the resistance up," man, I crank that up thinking to myself, "What a joy that my body works." Yes. And so, y'all, the simple pleasures, you don't know what luxuries there are until you don't have them anymore. So milk it. Milk every day. Thank the Lord every day, even with the hardship in it. Thank him every day before the season changes.

That was great. I don't know that I've heard that Peloton story.

Yeah.

Oh. You're crying and everything. That was good. The prophetess has spoken.

Are we done?

Why?

Why? Because I just feel the need to pray for everybody.

Very good.

Can we do it?

Maybe that's what I'm waiting on.

Yes. Wonderful. Can I pray for you today? Okay. Lord, I thank you for my sisters. I thank you for this day that you have given them. Father, to sit for a day and a half in your presence. Lord, we don't take it for granted that somebody would have given their left arm to be here over the last 24 hours. They would have given anything to be amongst sisters of like mind, Lord, to be encouraged, to be in your presence, and to be with one another. So we thank you, Father, for this gift and this opportunity. We fought through stuff to be here, and yet we made it. So thank you, Father, for the breath that is in our lungs, for the minds that are thinking, correctly, able to absorb information. Thank you that our spirits are alive, so we didn't just hear the voices on the microphones, we heard your spirit speaking to us so that we could get it. We could get the assignment that you were giving to each and every one of us. Thank you for your Holy Spirit that has given us ears to hear and a heart to be sensitive to what you have called us to. And now, Father, I pray over all of my sisters that are in the room, that spirit of contentment would rest heavy on them. I am praying that you would take away the angst, Father, the anxiety, the worry, Lord, the striving that exhausts us, and that you would replace it with a supernatural blanket of your encouragement and your contentment. I'm praying that hope would replace hopelessness in Jesus' name, and that peace would, would attach itself. The spirit of peace would replace the spirit of fear, and that there would be a sound mind, Lord, and power that would blanket each and every one of us in the different spheres of influence that you have called us to. Father, I'm praying that you would break our hearts for what breaks yours, that you would cause us to love what it is that you love, that you would give us our eyes to see the people that are in our households and in our workplaces the way you see them, and that you would cause compassion to bubble up in our hearts so that we can respond to them in a way that reflects your character character and your words and your responses to them, Father. I am praying that you would make us carriers of your spirit in every aspect of our lives, Father, so that everything we put our hands to do would carry your favor and your grace upon it. Father, I ask you that every scheme of the enemy to discourage your daughters, to distract your daughters, Father, to derail us from doing what it is that you've called us to do— I pray that those assignments would be be canceled in the name of Jesus Christ, and that your blood would cover us, Father, not just for eternity, but for every single day for the rest of our lives. Father, I'm praying the same for every person attached to every woman in this room, for every spouse, for every son, for every daughter, for every grandchild, for every niece, for every nephew. Father, I pray in the name of Jesus Christ that if they do not know you as Lord, they are coming into the saving knowledge of you right now while we're in this room. I am praying that shackles are loosened off of their lives and ours. Thank you that they will walk in freedom and in wholeness and in victory every day for the rest of our lives. And I thank you, Father, that you are taking us out of this place in just a little while with a courage and a confidence and a boldness to walk in a manner worthy of the calling that you have given us on our lives. Father, make us bold, make us courageous enough to be obedient, Lord. And when we are, Father, we pray that you would shine down your favor on us, your grace on us. Be glorified in our lives, Father, for you alone are worthy to be praised. Every breath we take, Father, you alone are worthy to be praised. We surrender all of our lives to You in Jesus' name. Amen.