Encouragement for Moms - Get in the Picture!

So I'm live everywhere this morning. The plan is to, going forward, go live everywhere the first Monday of every month. So I have YouTube and Facebook here, and I have Instagram here. So the only reason, Instagram, that you might want to jump over to YouTube or Facebook, if you have YouTube or Facebook, is because I do have some photos to share. And I do know how to share them on Instagram. But the tech stack to make that happen is just so extra. And then I end up not focused on what I want to say. I end up trying to make sure that I don't screw up my tech stack. And y'all know I am here for the tech stack. But sometimes trying to think about all the things and the tech stack, some days I just say, you know what? Oh, I hit the button, y'all. Sorry. See, this is why. Right here. Okay. Hold on. There you go. See? This is what happens. Okay. Now I'm back. YouTube and Facebook. So here's the deal, I'm gonna, I'm gonna talk really close to the screen because I probably should have, like, I probably should have done something different with the computer. Because see, if I turn like this— nope. If I turn like this, then you can see me better, kind of. I don't know, I think this is good enough. What do you think? I think this will have to work. Why is my hat crooked? All right, so my husband and I are on the road, which is why I'm holding my microphone like I'm in church, because I brought the— I brought the stand for it upstairs from out of the car, but I forgot to bring the little thing that holds it together. What are you going to do? Except hold the microphone, because who wants to go back down to the car? Good morning, good morning, good morning. The sound keeps leaving. Let me make sure I'm all plugged in. Okay, hopefully that stays. If you see women in the chat throwing up yellow circles, that's because they're in the inner circle and they're letting me know that they're here. We do this every Monday morning. I shouldn't say every, 98.789% of the time on a Monday morning, uh, I am jumping on live and we have a little bit of fun and a little bit of foolery. Um, and honestly, I don't think that no matter how crucial I try to make the teaching, 'cause I try to teach, I try to share what I'm learning, share a little wisdom, or a little wisdom learned because I learned it the hard way. I try to share stuff that will help you live life better. It's usually off the cuff, it's usually not that baked, it is what I feel like led to share in a given moment. And then we take the live down, we tighten it up, we get rid of the foolery. Because some of y'all are not ready for the full Chrystal foolery. Not the full Chrystal. Y'all are alright with the some kind of way Chrystal. But if I give you the full Chrystal, some of y'all will be marred forever. So the inner circle shows up and lets me do all the foolery. Then we cut that out and then put up on Sunday evenings the buttoned-up version so that y'all can think I'm wise and that I have wonderful things to say. But the inner circle knows that there's more where that comes from, and they are very forgiving with all the foolery. Last night, y'all, I was not in my right mind. Uh-huh, I was not. This is a little bit of the foolery that was happening last night. So if you're on Instagram, you're not seeing it. I was playing music so loud that I just kept jumping up and dancing. I jumped up so hard and danced so hard that I knocked out my connection. And then we had issues last night, but we fixed them. Last night in the Inner Circle, we kicked off a 21-day journey of habits. Uh, we are going to be working on building habits. So for those of you all who don't know what the Inner Circle even is, it is for people who are like, okay, I want to go deeper and I want to do the work. It only opens up for those levels, the I want to do the work and I want community levels, it only opens up, up to now, quarterly. We might be changing that. In July, y'all, I turn 50 and we are going to be moving our membership to a new spot, a new— I've seen it, it's under construction, it's beautiful. So we may be changing some of those things and in July we're going to kick off a crazy great time because why not? I turned 50. So we're going to do all the things. So if you are not in the Inner Circle, here's what you need to do. You need to mark your calendar. I should put this on the screen. And then in Instagram, y'all can help me out. Just throw up the link. You can put the— mark your calendar because the Inner Circle will open up in July. And we may do some special things for those who are in it in July, like The people that are in it now get like founding member, we built this status. Those who come in in July get the, you get to move into the new home and you are the first arrivers status. What that even means, I don't know, but you better believe we'll figure it out. It also means that you can always join at the coffee tip level, $5. And basically that says, hey Chrystal Hurst, I love what you create. This is just what I can do to say thank you or keep doing it. That's where we started, honestly. And then people said, we actually want— can we do this? Can we do that? And I was like, we can, but that means I need graphic designers and equipment, and it means I need hosting and people to answer your questions. We need people who are answering the emails that y'all send. And so we've got some great girls who are both, some of them are on our ongoing team, some are volunteers, some are interns who are all thinking about the inner circle. So you can come in and at the coffee level, not coffee, excuse me, the co-producer level, you get bonus content from the podcasts. You get behind the scenes from me. When you are in the coaching connection or coffee, you get you get content, like courses that we go through together. So that's what we're doing, 21 days. So last night, this was me last night. Foolery. See, y'all can't even see the foolery, but this is it. That was the foolery. I was dancing. I turned on, I got off of my Jesus playlist a little bit. I got off script. I played some of the running playlist that's mostly holy. Mostly. I try. I try. Ha! Letha Garrison, Inner Circle Queen, said, "We built this joint." You got that right. You sure did. You sure did. Okay. All right. So, I see somebody on Instagram that's asking me about Desperate for Jesus. So Desperate for Jesus is our women's conference at our church. You can find out more about that if somebody wants to throw that in the comments because I don't have that link ready to go. You can find out more about that by going to dfjconference.org. There will be 3,000 women in the room. We have Lisa Turkhurst, Kim Walker-Smith, Priscilla and I are hosting, Naya Cotton on worship, Jada Edwards is teaching. Oh my goodness. But if you can't come, you can also register virtually as an individual or as a group. Maybe you want to have girlfriends at your house, or maybe you want to host a DFJ conference at your church and let us provide the content. The point is registration is open and the house normally sells out fast. So if you're thinking about coming in person, you want to sign up right now. And somebody was asking about lodging. We don't actually— actually, if you go to dfjconference.org, There are FAQs there, and in the FAQs, one of the questions is, hey, what hotels? And there's a link. Follow the link, because if I start talking to you— hey, Britt— if I start talking to you, I'm gonna say something wrong. Okay, so I'm not gonna— oh, dang it. Can y'all hear me now? Okay, can y'all hear me or did you lose me on Instagram? My phone rang. Let me know if you can hear me. Let me know if you can hear me, if the sound is back, because you know the phone rings and Instagram can't handle it. Y'all still can't hear me? Let me know. I'll come up, come, it's good now, yay, and I put it on do not disturb. Thanks, Britt. Okay, so here's the deal. I want to jump into this because I don't have all day. My husband's ready to go. He's like, I thought you said we were leaving. I done changed my flight for the fourth time. The fourth time. Jesus help. Jesus help. I'll probably toss a pic up today so y'all can see. My husband's been smiling and taking pictures because he knows if he doesn't, I'm gonna whine and complain, and so he might as well just do what I'm asking him to do. Alright, y'all, so here's what I want to talk about. I want to talk about you getting in the picture. Now Mother's Day is coming up, and I may do something a little unprecedented because normally we take the pictures down, we take the videos down, and we put them back up after we've edited them. But Mother's Day is coming, and I, I may leave this one up and let you chew on it this week. Then on Mother's Day, we'll give the team off of editing or all the things, um, just so Mother's Day can come and we can all just chill. You know, sometimes you just need to chill. So I'm going to share some things, but this is about Mother's Day, but it's not about Mother's Day. This is about what it means for you to get in the picture of your life. So that's what I want to talk about. Get in the picture. Now I'm gonna talk about motherhood because it is about motherhood coming up. I'm a mom of 5. They are 30 to 13. I don't know how that happened. And I don't know how that's possible because I'm not even 30, but whatevs. I have 3 and a half grandchildren. I don't know how that's possible either, but whatever. What I remember is that I was very close to my grandmother. Grandmothers, particularly my dad's mom. We went to visit them in Baltimore every summer. I remember laying on her bed in the heat because there was no central air and heat. We would all gather around the window fan in the kitchen. The chairs were plastic and sticky. But you know what? Best times. Best times. I remember my grandmother one time, because we sat on the porch. That's what you do in Baltimore. You sit on the porch. You watch the traffic go by. You do nothing. You sit out there and you talk. You read. You chat. You laugh. You sit on the top of the stairs, the stoop. Watch people go by, wave to your neighbors, and it's hot outside. But this is what you do. But I remember one time my grandmother, when we brought her great-grandchildren to come visit, she got off the stoop, off the patio furniture, the plastic sticky patio furniture, and she went down and ran around in the yard with her grand— children and great-grandchildren. She was in her 70s. My sister has that on video. She got off the porch and went and ran around in the yard. Forever, her great-grandchildren will remember that her great— their great-grandmother got off the porch and just for a few minutes chased them around in the yard. And you know what? Forever we have that memory recorded. Because not only did she get up and go in the yard, we had our phones. Was it even phones then? Or was it like a video recorder? It was probably like a video camera. But whatever it was, we had it going. And we captured it. And forever, those great-grandchildren will know that our great-grandmother was in our lives. It's not just a figment of memory, something that happens in the front lobe. It is something we recorded. So we've watched it over and over and over again. And they now remember that. But we only have it recorded because she got off the porch. The other day I saw my son jumping on the trampoline. So I went outside with all of the things that happen in your body when you're coming up on 50, with all of the things that I'm supposed to have right, like the good bra on. And I just said, you know what, he's jumping on the trampoline today. I just want to go jump. And one of the girls in the office came out with a video camera and recorded me jumping. And I thought, I'm so glad she got me in the picture. Because now, forever somewhere on my phone, if I can get it off my phone, Lord help me with the phone organization of the photos and the videos. But if I get hit by a bus tomorrow, Guess what? Not only will he remember that I jumped on the trampoline, even if I leaked a little bit. Can we just keep that real? Praise God for the Always Liners. But it's recorded. He gets to watch it over and over again. Sometimes, y'all, you get up from behind your desk, you turn the food on low, You get away from your phone, you stop folding the laundry, you stop doing the things that are really important that you're doing for them, and you get in the picture. This applies to moms, but it implies to any of us. There are so many things that we're busy doing and you forget to be a part of the moment, to make moments matter by showing up with your presence, just to show up even if it's for a few minutes and smile. I am so glad that I have the memory of my grandmother showing up on the front porch with my great-grand— her great-grandchildren. I remember when she came to our house in Dallas, she sat on the porch and as she would always do, like she did in Baltimore, I laid my head in her lap. She stroked my hair, rubbed my shoulders, and I got it on film at the time. I forever remember in my mind and because of that photo being able to sit in her lap and lay my head in her lap too. So what do I want to tell you today? I want to tell you to get in the picture. Of your life. Stop looking at the fringes of your life from everybody else's vantage point and you get in the picture. Whether that's your children, your grandchildren, your friends, your family, your coworkers, live a little bit and then capture the moment. Why? Because we only pass this way but for a split second. Life is like a vapor, the Bible says. I remember my grandfather on his deathbed saying, as I said, "Do you want me to tell the children to be quiet? 'Cause he's dying and they're loud." And he said, "No, no, these are the sounds that I've lived for." And he laid in the middle of his room, his living room, in a hospital bed. Dying to the sounds of his great-grandchildren. And he said, "It went so fast." So you have to decide here and again to get off the porch, get in the picture, live a little, be present, have some fun. And particularly when you're the mom, sometimes you gotta stop doing and just decide to be. So I'm learning to do that. I'm learning to get in the picture with the babies, even if my hair is not done, even if their hair is not done. Let 'em climb into the bed with me, on top of me, and snap a photo. Even if they're not smiling perfectly. Even if I haven't brushed my teeth. You know what? That was the moment, so I capture it. There are days when we are dressed up and we are having fun and we can capture those too. My husband has a photo of me and my oldest granddaughter, Lois Elizabeth, Miss Ellie. It's his screensaver for his phone. He said, "I just love the way you both are smiling in this photo." Who knew? That that random photo on that random day would be something that he looks at every single day. You never know. Get in the picture. Instead of taking photos of everybody else, focusing on everybody else, focusing on what everybody else needs from you, maybe what everybody else needs is you. And by everybody else, I mean your grandchildren, I mean your children, I mean your friends, your family members, the women in your community group, the women who live on your street. Maybe instead of doing all the things, sometimes you just need to show up and be. What if that's the greatest gift that you give your people? And here's the thing about Mother's Day. We're not just talking about mothers who give birth or mothers who adopt or mothers who are acting as mothers, but are grandmothers or aunties. We're talking about the gift that women have of giving life. That there are people by your presence when you show up with your physical presence, with your words of life, you give life. You have the gift of giving life when you are a woman. And when you show up and you call greatness out of someone, when you say, "I'm here for it, girl. Do you." When you do this as a friend, you're mommin'. Mother's Day is a day to honor your mom. It's a day to honor your grandmothers and your aunties, the women who have been spiritual mothers to you. But it's also a day to think about who along the way has breathed life into you. And guess what? One of the best ways to breathe life into another person is showing up. Showing up. So, of course, you know, it's coming and Mother's Day is bittersweet for me. But I'm so grateful that I still have women in my life who are mothering me. Here's my Aunt Louise showing up for her 91st birthday, smiling. And when we sang, let me tell you something, she enjoyed every single note. She danced as we were singing to her. She stood up and held her hands out and received all the praise. The celebration. She received it. And you know what? When I came and gave her a kiss and she said, "There you are. There's my girl. I'm so glad you're here. I'm so proud of you. Look at your children. Look how wonderful you turned out." Life, my great aunt. And then when I said, "Hey, Aunt Louise, will you take a picture with me?" She didn't say, No! Don't get a picture of me in my wheelchair. My makeup's not on. My hair's not done. Girl, I'm not ready. She just said, "Yes. Yes. Get the picture." Sometimes you're avoiding the photo 'cause you're too fat. Your hair's not done. This is not the photo for today, but don't think that every photo that you take, every moment that you make has to be ready for the world. It's about capturing you. And let me tell you, the photos that you take, the memories that you make are not about what is social media ready, honey. It's about what you capture because you were ready today, living your life. Quit sweating about the crisp, clear photos and just get in it. Just live. Just capture the moment with your presence, whether you snap the photo or not. See, I have so much fun looking at these grandkids having a good time. Fuzzy photos and all. Who cares? Who cares? Capture their faces and you're so glad that you captured the moment. Well, what if they feel the same about me? Who cares that she wasn't quite ready for the day or that her bra was showing or that her hair wasn't done or she didn't have her makeup on tee? We have this memory with her. And I remember with my grandmother, my dad's mom, I now did the math and I realized that when I had my daughter— I'm sorry, when I was born, my grandmother was 40. Young. And this is probably why I related to her so well. And it dawned on me, I'm a young grandmother. If the Lord blesses me with a long life, I'm gonna have long memories with these grandbabies. And they have the opportunity to remember me having fun. What if they don't care? My grandmother, the day she ran around in the yard with her great-grandkids, she had on crew socks and tennis shoes with a long house dress and her hair was not done. We don't care. What if they don't care? What if they don't care about the photo that we took or about that everybody wasn't looking at the camera? What if it just captured a moment that we love? What if my boys hate the fact that every time I turn on the camera, I'm like, take a picture, take a picture. But what if me deciding to jump in the photo is what makes them go, "We had a mom who was with us, hanging out, taking trips, visiting college— colleges, doing the thing." What if the scowls that they make when you make them get into a photo only say later, "Look at this picture I have with my mom. You remember that time?" What if everything in you is jiggling, but you get in the go-kart and ride with them? It's not about the picture. It's about the decision to make the memory and be a part, not just to watch from the sideline, but get into it, to get into the game. Of course, you know, I'm glad that we have pictures of my mom. That she wasn't planning to take. End of a long day, hair not necessarily the way she wanted it to be, but there it is on her Instagram page. One that wasn't planned. And we're glad she was in that picture. There it is, the photo that wasn't a little blurry. But it got posted because she was in the picture. And then there are the pictures that are so very sweet, that are planned. The end of the day, still dressed from work, not changing the clothes because the grands are here now. And you know what? We don't care. That no one was looking at the camera. She was present. What if you decided to get into the picture? So here's some wisdom I want to share with you on the quick. What makes you have fun in life? Do that with the people that you love. You can do what's fun to them, but every now and then, you just get into their world and do what makes them have a good time. I have no interest in video games, but I want to be in the picture when my boys remember that every now and then their mother let them play video games and I was in the room asking them questions about the things they're interested in. What is the overflow of you? Do more of that so they can see you come alive and have fun. And this applies again to your children, your friends, your grandchildren, the people in your community. Where do you overflow and light up? Do more of that with the people you care about. What are you making space for in your life so you're actually living? And how are you making space for the life that the other people in your life want to live? You can choose what you're a witness to in their life. You can decide when you did that, I was there. I have friends that showed up for me when I ran a marathon. There were like 3 or 4 sets of friends that at various points along the route, just came out with their posters and waved and hollered my name. Some of them ran with me for a little bit. Others of them just wanted me to know that they were there. You know what they did? They got in the picture. They took a picture of themselves, selfie style, with me running in the background waving to mark the moment that they were there speaking life into me. You can choose. What you are a witness to. You can choose as a mom, physical, spiritual, emotional mom. You can also choose what you're not a witness to. It's okay as a person who gives life to set boundaries. So as we roll up, if you've been giving a witness to everybody but yourself, maybe this Mother's Day you say, "I love y'all. Can we go to dinner on Saturday night? 'Cause on Sunday, I just wanna sit by myself and do jack squat." What? That's all right. It's yo' business, as someone we all know and love would say. You can say no. 'Cause sometimes the best way to have an impact on those that you love is to set boundaries. You can't do all the things for all the people all the time. Motherhood says, whether you're a mother physically, adoptive, emotionally, or spiritually, what motherhood says is, you're my people for a lifetime. Motherhood. What it says is, "I'm bearing witness to your life, son, daughter, grandchild, for your lifetime. As long as I'm here, I'm here for you." That's what motherhood can say in your life, even if you're not physically a mom. Who in your life are you choosing ongoingly to bear witness to? Whoever that is, get in the picture because you've decided to say, "I'm your people. You're my people." You can choose that. Get in the picture. 'Cause the things that you do for others that are marked by you, they want to remember. It's okay to be a behind-the-scenes person, but every now and then from the kitchen with your apron on, just wave. Be a part of the moment. Listen, Jesus spent a lot of time outside of the picture. He spent a lot of time with the disciples being on the outskirts of town. But sometimes, y'all, he got in the picture. He got— he went into the synagogue and he was right in the middle of it, teaching, being the center of attention, the person who had all the answers. And one point of the scriptures in Matthew 8, he said, the foxes have holes and the birds have nests in the sky. The birds of the sky have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head. I am here about y'all. Like, I'm here sacrificing my comfort and my coziness and my life. Literally, my life is going to be cut short because I have to think about you all in eternity. I'm not focusing on me. But then sometimes he totally became the center of focus. The New Testament records more than 10 occasions in the ministry of Jesus where he was in the synagogue. In Matthew 21, the blind man came in the temple and he healed him. In John 7, in the midst of the feast, Jesus went to the temple and taught. In John chapter 8, early in the morning, he came again into the temple and all the people came to him. He was the center attraction. He sat down, took some time away from running from town to town, and he taught them. Luke 19, he taught daily in the temple. Luke 21, all the the people came early in the morning to hear him. Sometimes he went right in the middle of the picture and got all the attention. He didn't stay there. But the man who came to give the greatest sacrifice for us, who had nowhere to lay his head, who was living without much— so it's all right to be the mom who sacrifices. But he also sometimes said, "Let me come to the temple and teach y'all something. Let me come and be the center focus because I need you to hear my wisdom." Sometimes you need to encourage everybody and pat them on the shoulder and say, "It'll be all right." And then sometimes, guess what you need to do? You need to sit them down and speak wisdom to them and say, "I need to talk to you." I need you to listen to me. They can take it or not, but sometimes they need to not just feel you rubbing them on the back and baking them brownies and sitting there hugging them. Sometimes you need to look them in the face and say, I need to tell you the truth. If you keep going down this path, you're going to destroy your life. I'm here for you. I love you deeply. I am going to be here for you no matter what. But I don't want you to go down that road and then have to spend the next 20 years of your life recovering from it. Sometimes they need to hear you set boundaries and say, I listen, I am here for you and listen, I will always love you. But this debt you're about to get in, you're going to pay for that. I'm not paying for that. Listen, my children, they get free dual credit. But if they choose to make a bad grade, they will take it over. And guess what I'm not doing? I don't pay for that second class. If they withdraw from a class, they don't get to take that class over for free. And guess what I'm not doing? I'm not paying for it. You know what I want them to learn? That some things in life are not worth doing over. Because you're thinking, "Oh my gosh, I had to work for a month to earn that money or 3 months to earn that money." Exactly. So did I. I love you. Take the class over. Because here's the truth that I need you to see. I need to teach you. I need you to pay attention and learn. Some things in life are worth doing right the first time. Sometimes the good thing to do is not to be in the background and quiet and humble and sweet and supportive and you don't ever say anything that's hard. Sometimes you sit them down, you look them in the eye, you can still rub them on the back, but you tell them the truth. For those of you who are sacrificing to the point where your own health is leaving your body, stop. Stop. You need to ask the God that created you, 'cause you're his daughter too, how far do you want me to go? How do you want me to outline the boundaries of my life? You sacrificed. You had nowhere to lay your head, but every now and then you drew some lines. You went away by yourself to pray often. Sometimes you rebuked people. Being a good mom, being a giver of life means get in the picture. Sometimes that means you get in smiling. Sometimes that means you get in stern. But it always means you get in telling the truth about who you are and who they are too. So with Mother's Day coming, if you're a mom of toddlers, teenagers, or 20-somethings, I don't care if you're the skinniest you've ever been or if your gut and your fupa is totally rocking your world. Get in the doggone photo. I don't care if your hair is done. I don't care if your makeup is on. I don't care if your earrings are in. Get in the doggone photo. Make some doggone memories. But more than the photo, be present. Get out from behind the stove in the kitchen. And sit down. Let the grandkids sit on your lap. And even if you have to run huffin' and puffin', run around in the yard a little bit. If you're not a mom biologically or adoptively, the question is, who are you speaking life to? And who has spoken life to you? Because guess what? It's a good time for y'all. In this crazy cake cray-cray season that we're living in, everybody around you needs words of life. And that's what a mother does. She says, "I'm here for you. I'm showing up for you. Even if you don't appreciate it just yet, I see what you need and I speak that into existence into your life." There are things that I believe about my life because my mother said it over and over and over and over and over again until it got locked in my psyche and I believed her. Chrystal, you are persistent. God built you that way. Chrystal, you are a trailblazer. I know that it is hard and I know that you feel like you are running past the bushes and they are scratching you and you're bleeding. Keep going. This is how you're built, Chrystal Hurst Hurst. You have the ability to do that. Stop shrinking back. Why do you shrink back when other people enter the room? Stop doing that. You are wise. You are a leader. You have good words to share. Yes, this is a season where you feel hidden. It won't be like that always. Cultivate your gifts. You are a good speaker. You are a good writer. You are a good leader. Cultivate who you are. And sometimes it's the words that she spoke over me for years that I still pull on and remember. So who are you? Here's what I know for sure. You are a life giver. Act like it. And whoever you are giving life to by your presence, Show up. Get in the picture. Make the memory. Be present. And let the gift of you make an indelible imprint on those who are in your life, who are a part of your life, who you get to mom. So, hope that encourages you. I hope you enjoy your Mother's Day week. If you've enjoyed this video, please share it with your friends. Let it circulate and hit some people before Mother's Day. If you are not subscribed or following the YouTube channel, the Facebook, or on Instagram, then you want to make sure that you are subscribed and followed and liked and all that jazz, because every now and then I do pop up with lives and you want to catch them. So this is me telling you to celebrate the gift of you in this world. And by the way, if the people in your life don't celebrate your mom-ness, celebrate your own mom-ness. Go get your own doggone nails done. Lord Jesus. Go get your own massage. Go for your own walk. Get up early and go for your own breakfast. Listen, sometimes they'll celebrate you later, but in the meantime, you celebrate you today. You don't have to wait on other people to sing your praises. I just sang your praises. If that's what you needed, that's enough. Period. Point blank. Love y'all. And I will see y'all next time. Bye. Happy Mother's Day. Regardless of what season or what kind of motherhood you're making.