Finding Joy - Coffee with Chrystal #alittleQC

Good morning, everybody. Good morning. Wakey wakey! I guess you're already awake if you're watching. This music makes me happy. Oh, Instagram, you can't hear the music. I'm so sorry. Hi, New Zealand, Virginia, Indianapolis. I know I'm getting my act together. Facebook, YouTube, Periscope, I'm here. I just haven't turned on my video yet because I'm trying to get Get my act together. Makes me happy. I might have to choose another song soon, but that one's a good one. Good morning, good morning everybody. Y'all, my, my husband, he brought me my drink this morning. This morning I have, um, blueberry hibiscus. Oh. Time to write lyrics to your own theme song. Maybe that's what I'll do. You could do a morning talk show and use that morning— I know, it's a great song. This is Rishi. I don't even know anything about the brand, I'm just— y'all ask me, so. And it's a blueberry hibiscus. Why'd I emphasize the B? A blueberry hibiscus. What was that about? Good morning, Ontario. Mm-hmm. Good morning. Oh, you put sugar in it too, Jesse? You put sugar in it? How much sugar did you put in it? Just a little bit? Mm-hmm. So y'all, good morning, good morning, good morning, good morning. It is Thursday. Today is May the 14th. Praise the Lord, everybody. Praise the Lord. I was up this morning and, uh, it's working on a few things, um, that I needed to work on, that I'm still working on. And then I was frantically like, oh shoot, it's 6:40. I gotta, I gotta get ready. I gotta make a graphic. Pick a topic, title it, download it, upload it, turn things on, hook things up. Hmm. So what are you drinking? I'd love to know what you're drinking. Yes, tea most mornings. I don't make coffee. I don't have a fancy Keurig and a, and Nepresso? Nespresso? Is that what those things are called? I have like an old school coffee maker and it stays in the cabinet. I bring it down when I have guests, but I never developed a morning coffee habit at home. I do say that I miss— Jesse, if I made coffee every morning, would you drink it? Probably not. So the thing is, is I it's, it's another appliance to clean. You understand what I'm saying? I don't, you know, for all of that, if I need coffee that bad, you know, I'll just make instant or something like that. I see y'all drinking water. Um, you need your coffee to wake up. I know, I know, it's a situation. Deer Park water, never heard of that. Plantation mint tea, it sounds good. Old school coffee pot for me. And I do have a French press, and I do have a coffee grinder. So if I'm really in the mood, um, you know, and I want to go through all the steps, then I will make coffee, grind my ground beans fresh, uh, put them in the French press, because then it makes, you know, the perfect amount, a couple of cups, and I'm done. But it's a lot of work when you can just boil some water and stick a tea bag in it, you know what I mean? So, um, I see y'all, green tea with lemon and honey. A protein shake, coffee with Starbucks creamer. Here's the reason why I don't drink coffee, y'all, because if I drink— I like to have a little coffee with my cream, and the cream, y'all, I mean, unless you're drinking like the almond creamer, you know, it's like the healthy version, the coconut version. If you're drinking the hazelnut version from Walmart or Target which is my favorite. Hazelnut. Priscilla drinks butter pecan, so whenever we're together, I'll have that. French vanilla will do, but hazelnut is my, is my go-to. I did try toasted coconut, but from what I hear, that cream, first of all, has so many chemicals in it. And, um, not only that, but it's so sweet because when I cream my coffee, I don't need sugar. I get that if I go to church and they have a— at Our Lady's Bible study, they have a pump, and I will pump, you know, like 4 pumps of hazelnut and be just fine. Don't need any— don't need any sugar at all. Kombucha. What is the deal with my bees and my peas? Kombucha. Kombucha is great. Uh, one of these days I might try my hand at making it when I get into a super crunchy mode. But, um, kombucha off the shelf. Okay, Lady LCR said, that's why I quit coffee in September, because the cream was overpowering my life. Let me tell you what I do if I go to— so, um, the, the hotel that I probably will stay the most in, um, not, not all the time, but if, if I'm, you know, paying for my own hotel or traveling, traveling as a family Hampton Inn. Hampton Inn will work. Um, it's pretty standard. I know what to expect, but here's how I fix my coffee. In fact, Monique, when she travels with me, she knows how to fix my coffee, and it's really not coffee at all. It's just like— I'm ashamed to tell y'all about my coffee recipe. So I take a packet of hot chocolate and I put it in a cup, then I fill it up with coffee. Then I add maybe 3, 3 hazelnuts to it. So it's basically like my own homegrown Starbucks drink, my sugary Starbucks drink, and it's just sweet. I mean, it's just sweet. So I try to not drink, uh, my calories. I've had not a great week. So these Fat Demon Talks were basically for me and just trying to get back in my, in my groove of, you know, drinking all the right things, having those things accessible to me, and staying away from sugary things. I have officially— I thought I had another Oreo thin. I thought I had another one, and I can't find it. So I think I hid it so good for my family. Oh yeah, did you find it, Jesse? My other Oreo Thins? I may have hidden it too good for me. So I went and got Oreo Thins, and it was before, you know, right before the shutdown. And y'all, I had a little bit of a situation picking Oreo Thins. I, I got like 4 different kinds. But I've only— I've discovered I really only like— I like the plain ones. The mint thins are okay. Pistachio thins, nah, you can go without that. There was one other kind that I tried. Really, it's the regular ones, you know. And so, um, but I can't find the last one, so either the kids got to it or I hid it so well that I hid it from myself. And, uh, thank you, Faithfully 27. And I, um, What? Wow. So y'all know I lost my— y'all know I couldn't find my computer the other day and Jesse was trying to help me find it. So I just said, I must have hidden it too good for myself. And he just said, let me look at the bed and see if I can find it. Because that's where my computer was. Oh gosh. Oh, Jesus help me. Okay, yeah, so, um, anyway, that's, that's the thing. But, but I think I'm done. I think I'm, I think I'm, I think I'm gonna let the Oreo things go. I think. Hey, Jesse! I think I'm gonna go and get some— I'm gonna go and get some juices. I'm rolling my eyes because I have a juicer, but I haven't been doing it. So I'm just gonna go and get some. I think I'm gonna do a cleanse for a couple of days, reset my taste buds, you know what I mean? And, uh, see what happens, see what the Lord says. Okay, y'all, I was giving some chit-chat time for y'all to get on. Praise the Lord. Hallelujah. And I'm glad you are here. Good morning. Good morning. Oh, I— do you have something to do today? I'm just saying, if you, if you need something to do, I got something for you to do. I want, I want you to go to the juice bar and pick me up 2 days of juices. You would? You'll do it? Oh, thanks. You gonna get yourself some too? Of course. This is what we do, just holla, holla back and forth. Okay, so this is what I want to talk about, y'all. There's enough— I always forget there's always somebody's first time. What is this, y'all? If this is your first time, it's a little QC. See a little quality control so you could— nope, that's not what it is. It's a little quarantine content so you can exercise some quality control in your life. If you don't know who I am, chrystalhurtst.com. And I'm looking at Instagram and the comments and the camera, so if I look away, it's because I'm trying to pay attention to everybody. So, um, yes, quality control, because it is what it is. We're trying to live with intention and purpose, uh, during this season and not come out of corona the same way we went into it. Listen, Karen, you said he— my husband went looking for the Oreo. That's probably what he did. He's probably like, let me go find— he's always trying to— he's always trying to on the down low be a little funny. I gotta watch what I say because he's watching. He's watching me. Um, thank you, Tree Trees Treesby. Okay, so, uh, that's who I am. And if you're not on my email list, get on it, get on it, because I share all the things first with the email list. Um, okay, so I wanted to share— I shared a link with y'all yesterday. We're still working on some technical stuff, but I do have— this should work. So if you've been trying to figure out, um, if you were trying to figure out how to register for the online event, because that's live and available now, you can go to chrystalevanshurst.com/tsonline, tsonline, chrystalevanshurst.com/tsonline, and that will bring you to the page where all the things you need to know Um, so there are right now, there's like 25 different women who are going to show up to teach, speak, encourage, um, shed some light on your life. Because while I know about a lot of things, I certainly don't know about everything. And I believe that we truly are better together. And so I always love to reach out to women who know something, um, that they are engrossed in it, they're an expert in it, they have life experience in it, they are skilled at it, they have a passion for it, and say, hey, teach us, show, show us the way. So, uh, what this is is an opportunity for you to grow. My goal is, yes, to inspire you and to motivate you. However, however, my main goal is for you to walk away with how to do the thing. How to do the thing. Because y'all, if you get excited about it but don't know how to do the thing, that's not what we're going for. I'm going for how I do it. How I do it. Because we learn— that's what discipleship is. When you're walking with somebody through their life and you get to see how they do it, that's how we learn how to do it. We can hear, okay, you're supposed to eat healthy, but who do we follow on Instagram or on YouTube, we follow the people who show us how to do it. You know what I mean? It's like, okay, I know I'm supposed to eat vegetables, but show me how you fix vegetables. I want to see how you do it. Um, when women would say, uh, to me, you know, from church, or girls that I know, they would say, I need to, um, I need to see— well, let me speak of me. There was a friend of mine named Robin. Robin, uh, and Jefferson. And she came to me back when first got married. She told me I needed to homeschool. I was like, you got to be kidding me, you're crazy. At the time there was only one kid in our home, and I was like, oh, I'm not doing that. Who would do that? I got a good job, uh, she goes her way and I go my way so we can all have peace. What? She was like, I'm telling you, you need to homeschool. And I was like, no, I'm not doing it. So then I started homeschooling. That's a whole other story. Uh, but, but the reality is I was like, now my mother kept— my mother, wonderful, wonderful homemaker. Um, but I— we weren't home all day, so I, I asked Robin, can I— but her home was always meticulously clean, and I was like, can I come over and just watch how you school your kids, keep up the food, and, and keep the house clean. I just want to— she said, well, I don't know what to tell you. So you don't have to teach me anything. You don't tell me anything. I just want to come. Hey, JWL Joy 52, new on board. Good morning. I said, I just want to come and see how you do it, y'all. I literally went to her home, got there at 9. I stayed until like 3. I curled up in one of her chairs with a book and a journal and just was like a fly on the wall. I literally just sat there. I just watched. And then I said, because I'm, I'm crazy like that, I was like, can I go through your drawers and your closet? Like, I want to see how you have stuff organized. Where, where are the kids' school books? Like, where are your cleaning supplies? Which clean— like, I was like, can I just see how you do it, you know? So now if a young woman says to me, how do you do it? Or, or here's the question, can you mentor me? Can you disciple me? Let me, let me tell you the rest of the story with Robin and then the rest of the story with what happens when people come to me. So after a while when I was talking to her and I was sitting there, she just said, here you go. And, and while we were sitting there, she gave me a basket of clothes to fold while she folded a basket of clothes. We talked. So she's like, you can be here, but I'm gonna— we're gonna— you're gonna learn by doing, ma'am. So when women come to my house, I mean, of course I want to be hospitable, but I'm always like, help, we can talk while we make dinner. We can talk while we fold some clothes. You want to, you know, and one of the reasons why we have the internship and the wonderful reason why we're able to even have an online event is because we've got great interns, great team. Some are ongoing parts of the team. Some got specially brought on for this, but then we've got 8 interns who came to Dallas on their own dime in February. I did feed them and I did put them up, but they got here on their own. And they're going to be with me all year. And my hope is that by engaging with me in what I'm doing all the time, you know, and having access to me, that when they need stuff, when they have questions, when they want to see behind the screens, they want to say, how do you do this? That I'm available. Most of them are virtual, but you have to learn how to share what you're learning, right? As you're doing it, because this idea that we disciple over coffee, which is a great concept and it works in some seasons. Y'all, I can't, I can't meet everybody for coffee, you understand? I would never be at home. So, um, I want you to understand that mentoring y'all is not this formal thing where you say I have reached the pinnacle of knowledge and wisdom. And so until I— yeah, yeah, Catherine, I did feed y'all really good. We never stopped feeding y'all. But, um, you know, it's not that you have to have arrived, it's just that You can watch me while I do it, you know what I mean? Jesus modeled discipleship for us, and he said, listen, watch me while I do the thing. That's what we're trying to do in the Facebook group too, is say we're going to ask a question, you know, once or twice during the week, maybe put up a poll and let everybody watch each other as much as you can online and say, hey, this is how I do it, this is what I've learned, this is how I'm growing, this is how I'm developing. And sure, I'll show up, but Y'all, everybody, even if you've learned by making mistakes, there are lessons that you have learned or are learning that if we would just be willing to share, you know, uh, it would be amazing. Some of us just need to quit trying to be perfect and maintain a perfect facade, you know, and a mask, and just say, yes, I was married 3 times, let me tell you what not to do. That's, that's what, you know what I'm saying? Like, we have to say, yes, yes, I— yes, this is husband number 3 or 4. Let me tell you what it took me 2 or 3 marriages to figure out, you know what I mean? Like, just let me be honest about that. And often, if y'all— if we would just choose to be honest about the thing, we would save so many people from making the same mistakes we did And that's discipleship too. It doesn't have to mean that you're Jesus. Now there is plenty of room for the Jesus— the, the people like us who are more Jesus-y, you know what I mean? Like, I always tell my aunt, I so admire her because God said it and she did it. She just didn't go— she— there wasn't a whole lot of hemming and hawing. My Aunt Elizabeth, she's just like, I wanted to please God and I read his word and this is what he said to do, so this is what I did. She said, I just don't understand you people that have to go round and round the mountain learning things the hard way. That would, that would be me. I'm saying there's room for everybody. Those of us who have followed Jesus, who have been good people, made good decisions, not had to make a whole lot of dumb mistakes to figure things out. But there are also those of us who have made a lot of dumb decisions. But you know what? This is what I always tell my kids. I'm telling you the truth. Now you can realize that by learning it the easy way because I said so, or you can learn it the hard way because you discovered it was so. But either way, y'all, it's true. I'm trying to save you some trouble. That's what God says to us when we read his word. I'm trying to save you some trouble. But I mean, Aramaic, if you decide not to believe what I'm saying and just go out there on your own and figure it out, you're still gonna come back to the fact that what I said is true. So what I'm saying is, if you have truth because you have discovered that what God's word is— that what God's word says is true because you read it and believed it and you lived long enough to test it and find out that it was, or because you read it or you didn't know it and you didn't live according to it and you bumbled through life and realized that all the things God already said was true, either way Your knowledge by reading, by doing, by experience is valuable. And so I want you to understand that you, in the grand scheme of life and what you can bring to the table and whatever you've learned and however you've learned it, you have value and the potential to be, uh, of, of, um, value to other people. Do y'all understand what I'm saying? Okay. That's all I'm doing. I'm just saying, y'all, listen, I haven't arrived. I got on the scale this morning and was slightly disappointed because it's not moving the way I want it to. But, you know, it's the juicy. I just need to cleanse the palate. I took a left turn one day and had some fries, probably from Wingstop, and it just— the fat demon was like, oh, you calling me? Come on guys, let's go! She wants us back in the house. We get to move back in. That's what happened. So I just gotta, I just gotta slap it back down. Okay, and then y'all, Inner Circle, basically you're here, you're getting stuff. Inner Circle gets— it's staying up for a little bit. It will finally go to its resting place with all the other stuff that we've pulled down, um, because those are people that have basically said, hey Chrystal Hurst, I actually want to support what you do. Appreciative. There are multiple levels to that, but only the first one is open because the rest of them were on a 21-day journey and we're having a good time. So all the things, all the things, all the things, all the things. Okay, all right, here we go. I want you to think about finding joy. And I was thinking about this morning because I was listening to— I've got book, uh, 28-Day Prayer Journey. Um, in the— for those of you who may have already heard me talk about it or even bought it, um, I self-published that book and then my publisher said, let's, uh, let's get this out to more people. So we redid it, put new content in it, made it better, bigger. Also a Bible study that's coming along with that. That'll come out, uh, later this year, late July, early August. And say, um, but I was watching the Bible study because I— before they send it to its final destination, they wanted me to review it, give my final approval. So I'm watching it, and there was this one section where I'm talking about gratitude and how gratitude frames what you see. And I give this illustration in there about taking our kids to Disney World and how we ended up having to stay twice as long as what we intended to. We had a medical emergency, and my kids don't remember the medical emergency, really. They don't remember the, the, you know, we don't really talk about the ambulance coming to our Disney resort place. You know, we don't want to— you want to know what they know? They remember that we got to stay 2 weeks at Disney World instead of 1 week at Disney World. And that's because I didn't take pictures of any of the bad stuff. I took pictures of you know, the good stuff. I took pictures of our trip to Disney World. I took pictures of, uh, the place that we stayed. I took pictures of, um, you know, us being together. All the good stuff. I didn't frame the bad stuff. And gratitude— choosing what you focus on, it frames what you see, it frames what you remember, it frames how you live. And having something to look at, having something to focus on, having something to um, to pinpoint is how you live not only with gratitude but also with joy. Some of us do not know how to be joyful people because we're always looking for the negative. We are always uncovering the negative. We are always discussing the negative. We are also uncovering the negative in other people, in our circumstances, in us. In our situation, in our homes, on our jobs. That's all you're focusing on. And then you wonder why I'm not a happy person, I'm not a joyful person. I'm gonna pause right now because somebody on Instagram said, uh, and if you have questions, save them to the end, but I saw this one and it's important to me, uh, and she said, do you have any book recommendations about the mind? Now y'all, y'all have opinions sometimes about what I say, So I'm just telling you, this may be one of those things, but this has been one of the most life-changing books I have ever read. In fact, it's not down here, it's, uh, it's upside here in this space. It is in my office and it's on my shelf. I have a— I have shelves everywhere in my home, um, but there's a shelf that are my life-changing books. So my life-changing book is, uh, The Battlefield of the Mind. By Joyce Meyer. It is dog-eared, highlighted, written in. The spine is coming apart because y'all, I told y'all a few days ago about the beautiful mind situation, and, and I can go to some pretty interesting places in my mind. I'm a thinker. I am a, um, I am a, uh, emoter.. And my daddy likes to call me the black hole. That's what he calls me. He says, I'll start discussing something and thinking about something and turning it over in my mind. And he says, girl, you just, you always head into the black hole. Anyway, that's my recommendation for mindset, mindset. So, um, Marissa, write that one down. Okay. Jenny Allen's new book, it is on— yes, it is downstairs in my office. Get Out of Your Head. That's a good one. Yep, yep. These books primarily up here are books that are— I, I'm, I'm studying them. I'm looking at them. See, I'm studying them because of the thing I'm working on, working on, so that they're kind of here. Yeah, anyway, okay, so you have to choose what you focus on. You have to choose what you frame. So there's this video that I want to show y'all, okay? So on Instagram, uh, y'all have to check out BuzzFeed. You know what, I can— let me see, maybe I'll take y'all off of this thing so y'all can see, but y'all won't be able to hear it. I can't— Instagram doesn't play. So I'm going to show this video. So this is, um, one of those— one of these Kardashian girls. Hold on one sec. Um, I want to make sure y'all can see it. Okay, there we go. So it's BuzzFeed Celebs, and a few posts back there's this video of Stormi, um, and her mother basically is trying to teach her patience. Okay, she's trying to teach her patience. And she basically is, is making this little girl wait. Okay, so have you ever, have you ever put a candy jar in front of a kid or a cookie jar and said, now don't touch that, and they just dancing around it? You know, they trying their best. And there's actually a very, um, a, a study that was done, um, on— it was on willpower. It's in a book that I have called Habit. Charles Duhigg. That's another great read. And, uh, he, he was saying that they, they, when kids were small, they put them in a room. I believe it was— what was it, marshmallows? But it was something sweet. And they had a bunch of kids in the room, and they, they put— and they said, don't touch the sweet, don't touch the sweet. And so they left the room, and of course some kids did and some kids didn't. And then they followed these kids all throughout their lives to see How did this willpower that seemed to be native to some kids and not natural to others, how did this play out in their lives? Which kids had discipline? Which kids did not? Was there any? So this idea, right? Hey Brazil, this idea of willpower and control, I want to bring that back to what you focus on. Okay, so I'm going to go ahead and show this to my YouTube, Facebook people. But I want you to know, if you didn't see it on Instagram, then later you can pick it up. Okay, um, so here we go. Let me push play here. Y'all know my computer, I need a new one. I got the wheel of death. Now y'all can't see me or the video. Hold on just a second. I'm gonna give you 3 of them, but wait, you have to wait till Mommy comes back, okay? I have to go to the bathroom. Okay. So let me go to the bathroom and then you can have it, okay? Okay. You're going to wait for Mommy? Yeah. Okay, wait for me and then you can have 3, okay? Okay. Okay, wait for me. Okay, you can have 3. I'm gonna give you 3 of them, but wait, you have to wait till Mommy comes back. Okay, I have to go to the bathroom. Okay, so I was giving Instagram a play-by-play since they couldn't watch it, but it's BuzzFeed Celebs and it's It's the cutest video ever. Okay, so here's the deal, y'all. She's sitting there and you can actually tell that she's struggling. She's struggling. She starts wiggling, you know, like any kid would do. She starts wiggling, then she leans forward. She's like, ooh, like, I can't— I'm struggling to restrain myself right now. What kept her from touching the candy? What kept her from touching the candy? Right? There's a question. Well, you could say, well, she, she didn't want to make her mom mad, or she wanted to be a good girl. You could say, um, you know, she didn't want to get in trouble. But here's the deal: the candy was right in front of her. And I want to suppose, uh, you know, just present this idea that she had focus. She was motivated to wait because she believed that something good was coming. So she sat there and she smiled and she, you know, she waited. But ultimately it was, I'm gonna wait and I'm gonna sing while I wait, and I'm not gonna be upset, I'm not gonna stew, I'm gonna— she was so pleasant the whole time because something good is coming. Okay, so when you're finding joy, looking for joy, trying to live with joy, you need to choose what you frame. And when you frame what you frame, this is the mindset: no matter what is happening, I get to choose what I see, and I get to choose what I'm going to expect is coming. So my mother used to speak over me all the time, Jeremiah 29:11, for God knows that the plans that he has for you. And one of the things that has been, um, a piece of my ability not all the time because it's a practical thing for me. I'm not a naturally joyful person, but when I'm working on it is to say, I'm going to choose what I frame. There is something good to see here because that's what I was talking about this morning as I was reviewing that Bible study, is gratitude. There's always something good to see here. Okay, so you get to choose what you frame, and then beyond the frame you get to say something good is coming. See, that's a part of the motivation for you choosing what you frame. Because see, a lot of times if we don't believe that something good is coming, we won't choose anything to frame, and we're not looking for something good. All we see is what we see, and we're settled on this is the way it will always be, you know. This is one of the reasons why we have to be focused on what we have to do, um, in this season to be prepared for the next season. Because if you don't ever look beyond what you see You'll never be ready. You'll never be ready. I was talking to Trudy Cathy White yesterday. She wrote a book about her mother, Quiet Strength, so that'll be airing soon. Chick-fil-A family. And she said, she said legacy, that the legacy that you want to leave then is embedded in the life that you're living right now. Oh, good grief. The legacy you want to leave then embedded in the life that you're living right now. And in order to leave a legacy, then you have to make decisions as you're living right now based on what you believe is coming. You understand? So finding joy starts with choosing gratitude, choosing what you frame, choosing what you're believing is beyond the frame. So you're kind of looking with a little peripheral vision as to what else is coming. You know, one of the reasons why my sister would say to me, uh, Chrystal, these kids— when the kids were small, she said, it's just so amazing that these kids don't bother you, you know, like, you know, you just don't seem— the, the, the toddlers and the diapers and all that, and you just— it doesn't seem to faze you. Like, you don't seem stressed out at all. You don't seem whack because you're not getting any sleep, you know. It's not I said, oh, that's because I have, I have an older child. So when we were having babies together, Priscilla and I, I already had, you know, I already had two kids that were older. And my oldest daughter was 12, I think. Let's see. Yeah, she was 12 when my oldest son was born. By the time my youngest son was born, you know, she was like 16 or 17. And so I, I had living in my house the beginning of things and the end of things. So my perspective was different. I was like, this will only last for a hot second. It's only gonna last for a hot second. These kids are going to be grown, they're going to be gone, they're going to be talking back, having attitudes. So now when my boys are teenagers— I have 2 teenagers in my home and 1 adolescent— perspective: they will not be like this always. So I look at them and I laugh and then I smile and I do all these things and they're getting all, you know, they're all down in the muck, in the mud, you know, and I'm just looking at them like, you gonna be all right, you're gonna be all right. That's what I know. What I know is that if I drive myself insane worried about your behind, we both gonna be in the crazy house. And really All I have to do is do my job. I have to make sure you get an education. I have to make sure that you have what you need. I have to make sure you are fed and watered. I need to make sure that you have experiences that you'll never forget. I need to make sure I teach you God's word. I need to make sure that I tell you things that I want you to remember always, because what I know as a mother is that I have the power of influence and that what I say on repeat will be in their heads forever. That's what I know. They won't be able to go anywhere or do anything without hearing my voice in their head. So guess what? I believe and I understand that influence. And now, thank you Jesus, I have the benefit of this perspective. I have an adult child, she is late 20s, and she now tells her younger brothers, you know, both of the girls, they both do, they tell their younger brothers You need to listen to Mom. Trying to tell you she's right. You can do this the hard way or the easy way. You know, when my sons tell me, Mom, why do we have to make papers, write papers that are this good? You know, I'm just like, oh, because number one, again, you will not be a Hurst and leave this house and not know how to express yourself in spoken word and written word well. 'cause this is what we're going to do. And I have an older child who told me, who gave me grief. We used to stay up till 2 o'clock in the morning working on her papers because I was that mom. You have to turn it in and get your grade, and then you will complete it and work on it until it's an A paper. As a matter of fact, I have already told my two sons, you will have summer school 'cause there were papers I saw that you will rewrite and do better. Thank you very much. The point is, is I'm the mom. And I get to make decisions, and I get to frame some things in my home based on what I know they need. And my oldest daughter, who gave me grief about writing, grief about doing the work, grief about putting forth her best effort— now I follow her on Instagram. She starts writing to her posts and stuff. I'm like, oh my gosh, she's a great writer. And she told my brothers, you will be glad your mother taught you to write. It. So when they start whining and complaining, I have perspective. I don't care what you say. I don't care about the whining and the complaining. I— it doesn't bother me, not in the least, because I've been this way and I've done this thing and I know what I'm doing. That's what happens as you get older, you know. You start, you start getting confident that this is what I'm about to do, because, because this is what I'm about to do. Perspective. I have the ability to see beyond right now. So in the moment, choosing to frame. I've gotten off, I've gotten busy, gotten some things, and I got to get back to my quarantining self. There's some movies that we need to watch, there's some recipes that we need to cook, there are some adventures we need to have, some drives we need to take. And, um, because when they look back, I want them to say, quarantine 2020, these are the things that we did. I get to frame what's happening right now, but I also get to make this perspective, and I get to see that even though, you know, it's a lot being in the house, and I've been cooking beyond, you know, measure, which last week wasn't a good week, we didn't cook much at all. I just gave up the ghost. I'm gonna get back to it. Um, you know, I get to see beyond that and to say, this is not going to last forever, and what do I want to come out of this, and how do I want to look back at it? When I look back at it, what can I do right now that will give me joy later? Finding joy is about finding it in what you frame right now and in the perspective that you foresee and what's surrounding the frame later, and then later on that you can look back and say I'm glad I did it that way. I'm glad I did it that way. Choose what you frame. Choose what you focus on right here in front of you and off to the side in your perspective, in your peripheral view. Here's the other thing I want you to know. You need to watch what you say. Some of y'all are killing your joy by what's coming out of your mouth. You're killing your joy by what's coming out of your mouth, and I want to challenge you to watch what you say. There is a little wristband that I have. I got it from Tricia Goyer, um, and, and she wrote a book about being grumble-free. And it was this little wristband and it said, the grumble-free year. It's like, and I was like, can I actually go without complaining? Can I actually do that? Can I actually not say anything negative about anyone, about anything? You know, I think I can, but I usually don't because I'm so, you know, I'm so intent on correcting and making things right and doing my best and making sure everybody else is doing their best and making sure we're set up in the best way. And, you know, but what if I just said no? Yeah, the power of your— of life and death is in your tongue. You know, you have to watch what you say. Some of us are killing our joy because we are speaking negativity and death and hardship. And by what we listen— when you talk, you are listening. The first person who hears what you say is you. And some of y'all are living with words that people spoke over you when you were kids. When they said negative things to you and you've never been able to shake it. You know, you hear their voices in your head. How much more do you think you hear your own voice in your head? There's this little quote that I found on Instagram. It's by the poet Robert— Robert Louis Stevenson. It says, find out where joy resides and give it a voice far beyond singing. For to miss the joy is to miss all. Find out where joy resides and give it a voice. You got to give it a voice, which means you have to look for it. Look for joy. Frame it. Look beyond the frame and see joy on the outskirts, and then you got to talk about it. You got to talk about it. It has to come out of your mouth. So how do you do that? You literally, literally, literally have to look for it frame it, search for it, and name it. Look for it, frame it, search for it out there, and name it. You have to look at your children like I look at my children and say, you will be a man who loves God with his whole heart. You will be a man who uses and maximizes all his talents and gifts. You will be successful. You will be a man who has a wonderful family, a man who finds a great wife and who fathers great children. You will be— that's who I believe you're going to be, because I'm going to speak this into your head until you believe it. And even if you don't believe it now, I refuse to let what you see— because I'm not just framing the best thing I see right now, but I see beyond. So I'm looking for it. And sometimes, y'all, with your family, with your friends, with your job, with your spouse. You gotta look for it. Listen, you gotta look. I understand that sometimes what's right in front of you— I understand this— that sometimes what's right in front of you is not what you want to frame. I, I understand that. What I'm saying to you is you can find it if you look for it. That's what I'm trying to tell you. You can find something if you look for it. Okay, that's what I'm trying to tell you. So we had to move at one point, and I was really— there were a lot of reasons why I was not— I was very distraught about a move that we had to make. It was hurtful, harmful, it was emotional. And I was talking to my dad about it And he said, well, the reason why you feel the way you feel is because you're looking at it like this. You're, you're seeing unexpected. You're seeing not what you would choose. You are seeing hardship. You are seeing loss of control. You are— so he gave me— he named all the things. He named them. But then he said, let me tell you how you could look at it. You can look at it like you didn't have to find a place, a place was provided to you. You can look at it like you get to save some money. You can look at it like this is only temporary. You can look at it like this is a great opportunity to be in a new location where you can get Amazon Prime, because before I couldn't get Amazon Prime. He said, look for it, frame it, focus on that. Choose to stop, you know, looking at all the things that are all around it that are not the great things. Focus on the good thing and then look beyond it to say, here's what else I can see. You have to do this with your people. You have to do this with your job. You have to do this with your home. You have to do this with your finances. You have to do this with your future. Even if you don't know what your future is, even if you don't know, you just have to say with excitement, with excitement, even when you don't know, this is what you say. You say, okay, I'm living in an efficiency apartment right now. I really don't like it, but that's not what I'm going to focus on. I'm going to look for something to frame here. Okay. All right, great. I have my own place. I could be living with my parents right now, you know, maybe living in the basement. I could not have a job, not be able to afford, but I have my own place. Looking for it. That's looking for it. Now you're framing it. This is my own place. So what am I going to do in my own place to celebrate this? Okay, I'm gonna celebrate this. Okay, I'm gonna hang a picture on the wall. I'm gonna put a quote up because I'm gonna choose to frame what I'm excited about. I'm gonna, I'm gonna actually live here. I'm gonna move in here. I'm going to inhabit this space, and I'm going to frame the fact that this is my own. That's what I'm framing. That's my, that's my byline. This is my own. God has provided. I have somewhere to live. Amen. Looking beyond— if God can provide a place for me to live in this season, that means he can provide a place for me to live in another season. I don't even know what he has planned for me. That's looking beyond. You know, you have to say Even if I don't know what's coming, if I got here, I can get there. If I got here, I can get there. But y'all, then you have to declare it. Walk across the threshold of your efficiency apartment because you looked for it. Okay, all these reasons I don't like it, but there's one reason I do. Oh, okay, it's my own. That's what I'm gonna bank on. Choosing to frame that this is my own. Thank God I got my own place. Looking beyond, I'm going to get excited because not only can God get me my own place now, but I don't even know, uh, ears haven't heard, eyes haven't seen what he has planned for me. And so I'm going to expect with, with, with, with the— just, just with— I'm going to live with expectation that he can, that I can, even that God has given me the power to make wealth. He's given me the power to earn money, and that as I learn and as I grow, maybe as I do Dave Ramsey and get out of debt and save money, maybe I can move into something better. That's beyond. I'm looking forward to how I'm gonna grow and what God is gonna do in my life. So then you had to talk about it. When people say, girl, I heard you moved, this is what you might be tempted to say: girl, yeah, I did, but I'm just stuck in this efficiency apartment until I can get something else. Nope, that's not what you framed. What you framed is, yes, I'm so grateful to have my own space, and I am so excited to be here and start to learn how to manage my money so that I can continue to grow in my financial knowledge and that I continue to grow in my career, because eyes have not seen and ears have not heard what God has planned for me. I'm rehearsing that. People come into your home, they say, girl, you haven't put any furniture in here. Yes, honey, but it's my own. It's my own. And you got to start somewhere. And eyes have not seen and ears have not heard what is planned for me. So you got to start somewhere, but I'm going somewhere. Then you say that out loud. When you walk in and you live on the first floor and the neighbor above you is making noise and you're like, I cannot wait to get out of here, oh my gosh, I'm sick of listening to these people making all this noise. That's what you could say. But when you walk in and you feel the irritation rising up, what do you say? What have you framed? That's what you say. Ooh, but you know what? I'm still in my own place. I'm still in my own place. And one day I believe that because God is going to continue to grow me that he's going to continue to bless me, that I'm going to continue to walk in my power, the power that he's given me to, yes, make wealth, but exercise dominion. Genesis, uh, that talks about my ability to be like God and being made in God's image, so I can create and I can be, I can learn and I can grow and I can rule. I'm going to believe that I can, I can go beyond this and this is not forever. And you'd be surprised once you declare stuff out of your mouth how it changes. It, it, it starts rewiring your brain. Renew your mind. Romans 12:2 says, be ye transformed— King James Version— by the renewing of your mind. How do you renew your mind? Psalm 119. The word, the word, the word, the word, the word. Bible says don't grumble, don't complain. So y'all, you get to sign the certificate for your story. You get to sign off on it. And a lot of us, by what we're framing, by what we're focusing on in the distance, by what we're choosing to rehearse with our lips, we are signing off on what we don't want. Do you understand what I'm saying? So many of the things that you are operating in and engaging in with your mind, when you don't frame— when you frame the wrong thing, you're not looking beyond for the good thing. You're not saying the thing that you need to be. Do you understand that you are signing off on the life that you don't want? It's got your signature on it. So I, I want you to— I want you to start signing off on your new life. I want you to start operating saying, I'm going to find joy, I'm going to find a way to be grateful, I'm going to find a way to be thankful, I'm going to figure out how to be happy if I have to fake it till I make it. And I'm not saying that you shouldn't feel pain and you shouldn't have sadness. I'm saying that you gotta decide what kind of person do I wanna be and sign off on that. If you want to leave a legacy of being the person who always was positive or met people with a smile when they came in the room, or if you wanna set the standard in your life for being somebody who serves, who is always there for the people who need it. If you wanna have a legacy of being available when people call or when people stop by and always having something, you know, just have— some of you would say— I was reading something my mother wrote this morning. She was talking about her grandmother's house and how she would always go to her grandmother's house and it would always smell like she was cooking. There's always something on the stove. If you want to have that— now, now I realize, you know, of course my mother did that, but it wasn't just because she did it, it was because she lived it. She said, I wanna, I wanna sign off on that. Like, that's the kind of thing I want to do. And yes, there were seasons where the house was messy and where things weren't quite right, and where it was frustrating and things were hard. But there were certain things that she said, I'm always going to sign off on this. I'm going to sign off on this. I'm not going to sign off on the other story by what I say, by what I see, and by what I frame. I'm going to look for the good stuff. I'm going to find joy in it, frame it, focus on it, and then I'm going to say it, declare it, so that I'm signing off on it. Some of y'all Some of us want to blame— we want to blame everybody else for our not having joy, for us not having joy. It's everybody else's fault. No, my friend, no, no, no. You get to choose, but you may have to look for it. Some of us are cup half full kind of people. Some of us are cup half empty kind of people. But I just want you to know you get to choose. So I see you, JD Rosa 07, on Instagram. You said, I needed to hear this. I'm a nurse and my hours were cut by 75%, and I need to look for the joy and gratitude. So I did a podcast yesterday with a gal, uh, named Kia Stevens, and she said that she worked on a book for 10 years, y'all. 10 years she worked on it little by little. She had it on a hard drive. She went to a conference where she was going to meet with publisher, and while she was at that conference, she dropped the hard drive. She dropped the hard drive, y'all, and she lost 10 years of writing. And I did like this while I was talking to her, and she was saying the story, and she's like, girl, I put it on a hard drive. And I was looking at her like, no, no, no, no. She said it. I was like, oh, I mean, that's painful. I lost pictures one year. I lost a year's worth of pictures. I cried. So I can't imagine a book that you spent 10 years on. But here's what she said: losing that book on that hard drive was the best thing that ever happened to me. It's the best thing that ever happened to me. Because as we talk about in that podcast, we— it started a whole chain of events. She was distraught, and somebody said, it's still in your head, don't try to write a book, just get on a blog and write the blog. Starting the blog started a ministry. Starting the ministry started an organization. Starting that organization has led now to her being a writer and a speaker and having a platform, all because one day she dropped a hard drive. If we could look at what we've dropped as the beginning of what we've dreamed— oh, I think I need to write that down. Somebody write that down. If we could look at what we've dropped as the beginning of what we've dreamed, then it might give birth to joy. It just might give birth to joy. So if you would, instead of going through all the drama, if you would decide, instead of going through all the anger and the negativity and being vile in your mouth, if you would decide, instead of looking at what you've dropped and living there, and instead say— even if you don't know how, you don't even know how— but instead say, you know what, this has got to be there's gonna be something good that comes out of this. You know what? That book came from me. It's still in my head, framing that. The book is still in my head. The book is still in my head, looking forward and saying, I don't know what he's— I don't know why this happened, but I know something good is going to come out of this. Hindsight 20/20. Something is going to be awesome about this. And then what I'm going to say when you drop it and you want to say what you shouldn't say— somebody say amen, because some of us have habits of words that make their way out when we are very stressed. Um, then you can just say, when you drop the hard drive, wow, wow, the book is still in me. The book was not the hard drive. The book is still in me. If I wrote it once, I can write it again. God has given me the ability to put words together. I still have that ability. And I'm so glad that the hard drive was not the end of my story. The story is still mine. The story is still in me. What am I trying to tell you, y'all? You have to decide to find joy. You have to decide to find joy, okay? Looking for it, focusing on it, saying it, reflecting on it, framing it. And here's what I want you to know: it doesn't matter what kind of person you are. It simply does not matter. It just doesn't. You get to choose. You get to choose every stinking single day. You get to choose. And I just want you to understand that when life throws you the worst possible set of circumstances, you still get to choose. And you can choose to be a joyful person. You can choose to have a smile. You can choose happiness. Doesn't mean you can't ever be sad, But it just means that you choose what you set your mind on. And if you don't know what to set your mind on, then look for it. Because I can guarantee you, if you seek, you will find. All right, Instagram, y'all know it cuts me off after an hour. That's 42. I got 40 seconds, so I'm gonna say bye. I'm gonna stay on with YouTube and Periscope for a little bit and answer some questions. But I love y'all. See you tomorrow. Bye. All right, y'all. Oh, oh, it's doing weird things. It told me to share to Instagram TV, so I don't even understand what happened. So obviously something has just happened in my life where it's giving me the option to share my stuff to Instagram TV. I don't even know. So I'm trying to set this up, y'all, right now because this has never been a thing before. So I'm gonna click next. I'm gonna click Finding Joy because it's making me title it. I thought only verified people could do this. So this must be a new feature, which means I have to leave— I have to live and grow. So I'm going to post it. It's gonna go to my feed. That wasn't my plan, but whatever. Okay, you live and you learn. To research that, Monique, can you research that? What just happened? Ah, okay, so questions. But I will take some questions, but I also want to— Ali Worthington is going live. Everybody's going live. Okay, you must have dropped the hard drive. It will give you a long time. I know, but it's never done that before. It actually cuts me off and then it's never given me the option when I end in Instagram to, uh, to take it on Instagram, you know. So whatever, you live and you learn, no big deal. All right. Alright, so questions, questions, questions. Can I give a shout out to your daughter Kenya? Um, yes I can. And then disappeared, so now I have to find you again if I can. Kenya, uh, congratulations, I hear you're graduating. You're a senior? Awesome, awesome, awesome. So while I get ready to take questions, I just want to remind you of a couple of things. TSC Online, the event, online event is coming your way next weekend. So you can barbecue on Monday, but you can grow on Saturday and Friday. So excited about that. It's up. We're still adding some encouragers to the list, ladies who want to come and help you grow, teach you how to. So you can go there and register. I love that. Yay! I love y'all saying congratulations to Kenya in the comments. That's awesome. Okay, so let me put this question online here. I can do that. I'm trying to decide I need to get a new computer, right? And the problem is, is that the 13-inch, which is my preferred version, is portable, and I like that because I travel, but you can only juice it up so far. And with me doing lives and video and stuff, you get more horsepower in the, in the 16 inches. And I don't necessarily want to carry around a 16-inch, but I want the horsepower. So I'm a little— I'm trying to decide. I'm having a hard time deciding. So we'll see. We're praying about it and asking the Lord to provide. Okay, EC said, how do you search beyond the storm? So I want to just give you this because really it literally is as simple as find something good, right? You know, like you got to look for something good. And it is— it takes practice to learn how to celebrate the things that you can't see. However, here's one tip that will be great. Ask somebody else to help you. Ask a friend, a spouse, a sibling, a co-worker. Say, listen, I'm actually trying to— listen, you can say this to people— I'm actually trying to be a more joyful person. These are the 3 things that are hard in my life right now, and I'm having a problem searching beyond the current situation and finding something good. Do you see anything good? Can you help me find something to focus on? Because a lot of times we're in the midst of the storm, we don't see the sun shining. You know, the sun is always shining above the clouds. You're on a plane, you know this, you can see the sun, and it doesn't matter what the clouds are doing, what the sun is always shining. And sometimes it just takes somebody who has a different perspective than yours, who's flying at a different altitude than you are, to say, oh, here's what you can see. So this is why community is so important, and I'll talk about that some more tomorrow because that's what I was supposed to talk about today. And I forgot. Write that down. But I don't talk about it today. I'll talk about it next week because I may need time to think a little bit more about that. I also have a friend that agreed to come on and do a workout in the morning, so maybe I'll do that. Y'all can— I'll split screens and y'all can see her jumping around and see me looking like an open can of biscuits. But really, community is so important because you don't have to do this all on your own. You understand what I'm saying? Like, you can say to other people give me perspective here. You know, one of the reasons why I call friends when I want to vent— Priscilla, when I want to vent, even my daughter sometimes— when I want to vent is like, I need you to say what is good here. Help me to see what I can celebrate here. So yes, you got to look for it, um, pray about it, ask the Lord to shift your perspective. Read the Psalms, because David, in the midst of a lot of things he didn't understand and a lot of things that were hard, He kept figuring out how to praise God, how to give thanks, how to look for the good stuff. So use the Psalms, use your friends, and, um, and just know that it doesn't have to all come innately from you. Okay, so hopefully that helps. Okay, Shirley Maddox said, Chrystal Hurst, will you ever take on, uh, your own show as a talk show host? We need this positive info and good advice. I believe God for giving you your own show. And a production crew, because that is the answer to your question. A whole production crew. Because right now, y'all, I am my own production. You should see my screen. You should see it. I think I can— let me see. Can I, can I show y'all? I wonder if it would let me do that. I wonder. I don't know if it will let me do that. I don't think it'll let me do that. Let's see. No, it won't let me do that. Nope, it won't let me. Yeah, I got all kinds of things happening here. So that's, I mean, it's, and it's a lot. And right now, you know, daily talk shows are people's whole jobs. I have 5 jobs actually. Already. So I'd have to do some moving and some shaking. This was kind of just a, you know, something to do to be helpful during the season. Okay, did somebody ask a question yesterday? Uh, can you change your level for the event? La maestra, la maestra, la maestra. Yes, you can. Just send us an email at tsc@chrystalhurtz.com. Okay. Mary Harrison Sanders says, I try so hard to be a good writer, but I have problems putting words together. What advice can you give me? Well, I would first of all say that there are so many, so many places where you can develop as a writer. Um, we need to put the link for Hope Writers, y'all, in the resources. Um, Hope Writers is one great opportunity. Compelled by Proverbs 31 is another one. I mean, just search online for writing, but the best way to write better is to practice writing. You may want to take an online class, like, depending on the level of your writing and the struggles that you're having, you literally may want to take a composition class at a community college online. Like, if you're an adult and you know how to write, take it in a summer semester. It'll be done in 5 weeks, but you will have had the practice. Take a— depending on what you want to write, maybe it's a fiction class, writing fiction or writing nonfiction. There's so many things online. Look on Udemy, look on CreativeLive, look on YouTube, uh, you know, how to write. Just start with that. But I do think being a part of a community like Hope Writers or Compel, where they're not only practicing writing and asking you to submit things and get feedback from other people in the community, but where they are constantly pouring into you with fresh information— I would say that. And I think both Compel and Hope Writers are wonderful, wonderful ways for a writer to grow. Okay, yay! I love seeing y'all's congratulations to Kints. Okay, scanning, scanning, scanning, scanning, scanning, scanning, scanning. Yay! Okay, there was a question that I got yesterday. What is my favorite cake? Listen, I had a piece of cake yesterday. Um, it depends on who made it. If my cousin Monica made it, strawberry cake. If my neighbor made it, um, coconut cake. My mother's neighbor, coconut cake. If, uh, Miss Emma made it, chocolate cake. If Luby's made it, chocolate cake or chocolate icebox pie. Judith said, can you do a show on how to use your influence as a mom? I'll write that down and do some brainstorming and see what I can come up with. Y'all only got one more week. Gotta get it all in. How to remain consistent in the framing thing. My weak spot is that I'm motivated first, like most of us, Marie Christina, and then with the passing of time, my enthusiasm goes away. See, I'm clicking and it's not coming on. Oh, this computer, y'all, is struggling. Okay, that's all of our weak spots. And so I think you just need to— it— one is accountability always helps these things. Is there a friend where you can call every morning and say, I'm choosing what I frame? Is it something that you can write down so you have built-in, uh, you know, individual accountability where every day you're going to write down the thing that you're framing? Can you put a calendar on the wall? Jerry Seinfeld said one of the best decisions he ever made in order to be a good comic is he said, I had to make up a joke every day. And he put a calendar on his wall, and every day that he made up a joke, he crossed it out. And there was something addictive about building that chain. So really, you're trying to develop a habit, and it's okay. Once you develop a habit, then motivation isn't as necessary because it's a part of your— it's a part of your DNA. So I would say focus on building the habit, and there's lots of tips and tricks for habit building. But the main thing is to realize that it does take work in the beginning for it not to be something that depends on your motivation. And that's okay. It's okay to say, I actually need to build this. I need to build it as a habit and to bring in accountability and practices that will help you, like the calendar on the wall, like accountability in a journal or accountability with a friend. Hope that helps. Okay. Um, Talk about mental illness and joy. You know what? So here's what I want to say about that. I actually am recording next Monday a whole series of mental health and mental illness on the— on Better Together. It's a TBN talk show, Better Together. I don't quite know when it airs, but we are recording it next week. And if you don't already watch Better Together, please do. Because they talk about a lot of real topics. And I know that that's a topic for next week. Here's what I want to say. Sometimes you need somebody outside of you to tell you if what's going on inside of you is within the range of normal. And if you need assistance, because there are other things that affect joy and happiness that have to do with chemical imbalances, right? And you want to talk to a trained professional to say, am I just in a funk or am I depressed? Am I just low functioning, low capacity, low energy, or am I functional but depressed? And there is a difference, and there is the physiology of what's going on in your head chemically. Okay, let me give you an example. For me, chemically, I have to get— I have to get exercise. If I'm not getting exercise, I am not producing the hormones that I need to be a good person. I'm just not. If I'm eating a bunch of crap, drinking a lot of sugar, eating not good, my system— I'm not physiologically my best person, which means I'm not mentally functioning at 100%. And for a lot of us, we will get a boost from taking our vitamins, you know, like B12. But some of us literally have a chemical imbalance that can only be chemically treated. How do you know the difference? You go and you talk to somebody who knows the difference. Would I know the difference between chickenpox and the mumps? Not unless I Googled it or not unless I took it to the doctor. What I know is they both put bumps on your skin. And when we're talking about mental illness, some of the functioning realities of those things just put bumps on your skin and they kind of look the same. And it's not until you go to somebody who's trained in that, that they can tell the difference. This is this diagnosis and this is that diagnosis. So I want to encourage you, if you're struggling for joy and always struggling for joy and never able to get above water, and you do all the things that you know to do, you've removed toxic people, you've removed toxic substances, you're doing the thing and you're still like, this is not— or you don't even have the energy to do those things. You have no desire or energy or, or motivation, and maybe you once did. If you've noticed a change in your behavior a change in your thinking, a change in your output in life, that's another indicator that something has shifted. And there's no shame in getting the help that you need. Okay. Oh, now the questions are rolling in. So I wanted to share this one question that I had yesterday, and I thought that I could Save it yesterday. So someone asked me yesterday, please talk about how you build a team, and I told her I would answer that today. So I want to, I want to answer that. So you start where you are. Somebody wise once told me, if you need help, you find somebody who believes in your vision and your mission and ask them to help you. Ask them to help. When people say, I want to help, how can I help? Tell them, or write their name down so that later on when you do need help, that you remember who asked you to help. Let people help you. That's number one. Because honestly, like, you know, right now, um, I'm in the middle of preparing to probably put some stuff out there for some positions that I need to hire for. And I'm, I'm, you know, I could put it on LinkedIn, I could put it on, um, whatever the other thing is called. I can't remember the other thing, but I've tried to hire from there. And what I've read, the best in what I do for ministry and then what I do for business stuff, they already know me, they already follow, they already listen to the podcast, they already have a desire to help. They already are already sold on what I'm talking about and who I minister to. They already understand who my audience is. They already get it. So when they come in, they're coming in with a skill set and they're saying, hey, but I'm already here for the mission. I already get it. And what I'm saying is, is building a team, I think, starts with people sometimes that you know. Sometimes the people that you know are the people that you don't want to hire. Because sometimes they don't know boundaries and they don't know how to deal with you as a professional and not just their personal friend. And there is a difference. Sometimes I'm a great friend. I may not be the, the most— let's just say I have a business mind and I have a friend mind. Did I miss Kimmy? Christy, I see you saying hi to Kim, so I must have missed her. She's somewhere in here. Hi Kim. Hi Christy. Um, so the reality is you, you have to let people help and you have to then know how to find people. And here's the other thing, I have hired different people along the way because of a skill that they could provide that I needed, right? I have let people volunteer a long way because of a skill that they had that I needed, right? And what I'm doing now to build a team is different than what I started when I did to build a team, because what I needed in the beginning was help. I just needed anybody with extra hands, right? And, and there are a lot of people who are doing those. But as we've done more things, like for example, oh my gosh, I have got to learn ConvertKit because I got to move my email list from this email service provider to this other one. And I love this stuff, y'all. I don't have time. So what I need now is not somebody who can help me. I need somebody who knows, who's smarter than me, who can come in and whip this thing into shape because they already know it. You see what I'm saying? So what it looks like to build a team when you're beginning is just let people help, let people volunteer, let people support you. And then maybe when you need consistency and accountability and you're like, okay, I only got $10 an hour. It's more than what you're making at Chick-fil-A. Don't work over 5 hours because that's all I got. You understand what I'm saying? I got $50 a week. Then maybe you start small, and then as you grow, and if you're able to increase, uh, your ability to provide income, then maybe you share some of that with the people that are working with you. It is a gradual thing, and I don't think I started out thinking, oh my gosh, I have to build a team. I started out thinking, oh my gosh, I need some help.. And a wise woman said to me, because she had 3 assistants, and I was like, how in the world do you get to 3 assistants? I don't even, I don't even understand that. She said, I started out because I needed help and someone was volunteering with me. They just wanted to help me. And then I need to know that I could depend on them. And it was helpful for me for them to be available for sure. And helpful for them, for them to earn some extra money. And I said, don't go over 5 hours. And then it became, don't go over 10 hours. And then it became, okay, you can work 15 hours, but I got to add somebody else because there's this thing that neither one of us know how to do, and this person has— it was gradual. And then one day there's a whole team and 3 assistants, and I was like, it's like, wow. So I think you just— if you try to say, how do you get there, you'll miss where you are right now. I mean, that, you know, that'll preach in and of itself. Start where you are, let people help. And then see how you grow. And then attach yourself to other people who are further along so you can ask them, you can ask them what they did. I mean, Monique will tell you, she was a seminary student and she was looking for work, and I just needed help at stuff with the church. I just needed administrative support, you know. And now she is totally like left hand, right hand, all things Brandon operations. If Monique doesn't see it, then it has not finished this process. And, and, and I am very, very grateful for that. We've grown together. We've grown together. But it started with, don't go over 5 hours. And just, I just need you to answer these emails and I just need you to file this stuff away. Sometimes people can grow with you and sometimes you grow into new people and both are an okay way to grow. Okay, so Ada Denise, I'll answer maybe a couple more questions if I can get my computer to cooperate. Come on, computer. Eh, I'll read it either way. She said, I have a stupid question on the online event. How can I find out what topics are being covered? Because I'm having some problems with certain topics about God's word, so I need some help. So here's what, here's what the conference— it's not conference— here's what the online event is not. It is not a Bible conference. So I just want to say that the whole thing is not about studying God's word. Now, are there components about how to study God's word? Yes. Is everything that's shared from Women Who Love Jesus? Yes. Is everything that's shared assuming that you want to base your life and your life decisions on God's word? Absolutely. Is it all about how to study God's word? No. So we have some sessions in the morning where people will walk you through studying God's word, spiritual disciplines, prayer. But we also are going to talk about how to pursue your passions. We're going to talk about motherhood and how to make memories with your children and leave a legacy. We're going to talk about, uh, we're going to talk about money, how to get out of debt and how to manage it. We're going to talk about, um, we're going to talk about creative, you know, letting your creative juices flow, how to find your creativity. We're going to talk about forgiveness, getting rid of depression and anxiety. The whole point of this is to say we love Jesus, but we need a how-to. And Titus 2:5 says, let the older women teach the younger women. Older in age or experience or skill teach the younger women who need to know how to do the thing. So yes to studying your Bible, but it's not like go super deep and study the book of— the book of Psalms. So I just want to be fair and tell you that so that you don't— so I set an expectation and so that you're not disappointed. Okay, yeah, we don't have them listed. We don't have them listed. I have the people listed, I have the encouragers listed, and for now that's what we have. We'll share more later. If you want to know more later, you can wait to register until we get that information put together. We're putting it in the online conference guide and we're still working on preparing that, but, um, you know One, one step at a time. First time. All right, couple more questions. Sarah says, how did you cope with being a single mother and yet your dad was a pastor? Help other sisters out. Well, there's a couple of questions that you're asking me there. How did I cope with being a single mom, and how did I cope with being a single mom who had a dad as a pastor? Um, well, the first question is, I think I cope like everybody else did. I went to work. I tried my best to be present. I needed support. I asked for help. I, um, spent a lot of time with that daughter. I was stressed. I was tired. It felt like a lot. Um, but you know, I think at the end of the day, we all just do the best we can. I did, um, do my best to bring her close to me, meaning I switched her school so I could go to lunch with her on my lunch break, that she was close enough. I think I just tried to be as present as possible and, um, and try to surround her with family so that she didn't feel the lacking, you know, of me being by myself. And she says she does, she didn't, she says there was always somebody around. I had uncles, I had aunts, I had my grandparents. There were all, there was always somebody around to buffer that. So I, I made sure that my village was there to support me, but I mean, you know, I was doing it all on my own and I felt bad. There's a lot of guilt. My last job was very stressful, institutional money management. Basically, I was a stock picker. And so I had to get to work at 7 o'clock in the morning, or I had to be ready for our— yeah, 7 o'clock in the morning for 8 AM meeting. Or was it— yeah, I think that was it. And then I didn't— nobody took a lunch, so I didn't take a lunch. And then I worked until, you know, 5 or 6. It was tough, but I, but I just remember thinking, I have to get to a place where I can still be a blessing to her and leave a legacy for her. Like I still gotta be able to do that. The second part of the question with my dad, my parents, I mean, it was tough. Um, but they were very supportive and they, they made sure that even though they were concerned about my wellbeing and my decision-making, that they never made it about their love for me or their love for my daughter. And so, um, I think you have to have community that reinforces to you that you are still worthy, that your child is still worthy, and that when you need help, you have a community, you have people who can help you and people who you can help. I had other friends who were single who had children, and we helped each other out with babysitting and that kind of thing, because you're— we're never supposed to do this on our own. And that goes whether you're married or single. But I think, I mean, there was embarrassment and there was a lot of shame on my part just from a church standpoint. My church was also very loving. That doesn't mean they didn't have something to say on the side, but I also learned how to ignore those comments and how to focus on the people who were for me. Okay. All right, y'all were saying something to me in the comments about the MacBook. Y'all can tell me in the comments, 16 or 13. I don't want the 16 size, I want the 16 power, and I can't get that in a 13, and that's the problem. Where do you register? Y'all are asking that question. Uh, it is chrystalhurst.com/tsonline. Tsonline. Uh, it does not close tomorrow, it closes next week. As of right now, we don't We don't have a reason to cut it off because unless we start maxing out the digital bandwidth that we have, and right now that bandwidth is pretty high. It's digital. So it's not like, you know, there's room in the event. So we're still okay for now. We may have, we may have to check in a minute, but right now we're okay. It doesn't look like we'll be full anytime soon. All right. I'll take one more question and then I will jump off. All right, how do you join the Inner Circle? How do you join the Inner Circle? You go right here, chrystalhurtz.com/innercircle. Y'all are all like, get the 16. I'm mad at y'all. I'm mad, okay? I'm mad. I don't want the 16. Y'all, I get on planes. I don't want to lug that thing around. Good grief. All right, how do you find your interns? Oh, that's a good question. The same way I'm about to find a personal assistant. Um, I, I put it on my social media, really just Instagram. I don't think we put it on Facebook. Um, social media, because that's where my people are, you know what I'm saying? And so if my people are there and they already know who I am and they already know what I'm about then that would be a good place for them to know that there's a job available. So, um, yeah, so we put it on social media and then they apply. We take them through a fairly rigorous— send us a video, fill out this application, multiple interviews, take this personality test. We look at the chemistry of the team. That's one thing I will say, Chick-fil-A has the 3 C's that they hire on: competency, chemistry, and character. Competency, chemistry, and character. So I need to know that you're competent. You need to know, you need to be digitally astute, because if you're not, you will not be able to keep up with me on the internship or in my— I mean, we just, we run a mile a minute and we're all, you know, it's technology. Um, character, you know, references. Who are you? What are you doing? You know, I'm going to check out your social media. I want to know what you're about. And then chemistry. So even if you're a great person, we actually last year had 2 people hold. We said, you're great. But we looked at the chemistry of the team and we said, with these few interns, these people, we're going to double up, triple up. We think there may be a conflict here. So we asked them to wait. And then this year they came on because the chemistry was right. The chemistry with me, I have to look at the balance on my team of low energy people, high energy people. Talkers, people who are not talkers. I have to look at, um, uh, you know, people who are high energy— I already said that— people who are fast movers, cautious people, people who are thinkers, people who are, you know, you have to look at all those things because if everybody's the same, it doesn't work. So sometimes it's just, um, it's just, it's not even a matter of their skill set, it is totally a matter of their ability to work well in the chemistry dynamic of the team that have. Susie said buy a 16 for live and keep the 13 for travel. I don't, I don't need two computers though, then I'll be confused which document is on which computer. And I have, I have an iMac in my office. It's old, it's a 20— I think it's a 20— it's a 20— it's a 2015 14. So it's not like I don't have a big screen, it's just not if I want to— yeah, it's just— but I hear y'all, I hear you, I hear you. Thank you for your input. What personality test did you give them? Okay. Have I ever written anything on being a single mother? Should I? Should I do that? I just feel like I've spent more time married than I have single, so I've always thought that disqualified me from being able to speak into it. Not disqualified, but you know, just not made me the person. Personality tests, um, StrengthFinders, um, they can submit any personality test that they've already had, like DISC, uh, Myers-Briggs. But StrengthFinders, I love. Enneagram is interesting, but it's not a qualifying or disqualifying thing. It's just information gathering. Um, do I take personal emails? Sure. Uh, Chrystal at chrystallevinshurst.com. Okay, hopefully that's helpful. All right, 16+ wheels. You have the latest MacBook Pro. Marissa, which one, 13 or 16? Hire an assistant to carry my computer. That's a pretty expensive computer carrier. Okay, you all, I think I've gotten all the ones that I, that I saw in my drive-bys. Um, uh, yes, Linda wants to know, I don't have Facebook, can I use the Inner Circle with Instagram and YouTube? Yeah, basically all we do in the Inner Circle is we use a platform called Patreon, and Patreon is where we deliver all of the bonus content. And we do have a Facebook group for the Inner Circle at the higher levels, but that's just bonus. That's just if you want community. That's just if you want to connect with people, but you don't have to have it to get the information that we share. All right. I think that's it, y'all. I think that's it. I think I got y'all. So I'll be back tomorrow. I will be either here with a workout. I'll let you know. I'll call her and see if that's what we want to do because tomorrow's Friday. You know what I mean? We should do something different. Or I'll be here with Developing Community. We'll be here with Developing Community. All right, take care. I will see you tomorrow. Have a great day. Bye.