God Is Quiet… Now What? Trusting Him When You Can’t Hear Him

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you feel like God is silent? Like you're asking him all the questions. He's not saying no. He's not saying anything. Everybody else is getting their prayers answered except me. Everybody else is moving forward in their lives. It's just me. God has it out for me. Why do I have to be the poster child for suffering? There have been many times when I have felt that God has left me hanging out to dry. Woo! I'm gonna cry. Hey there, my name is Chrystal Hurst, and like all the cool people say, be sure that you like this video, subscribe to the channel so that anytime I put out content, you will know. But I wanna talk to you today about what it means to trust God even when he's silent. And if you feel alone in that, trust me, you are not the only one. You are not the only person that has wondered, where is God when you need him? Where you've wondered, why is he not answering my prayers? When you have asked yourself, how long do I have to wait to know what the answer is, or for him to make some changes in my life? You are not the only one. It is a common experience for people to feel this way and to wonder where God is and why he feels so far away. It's a common experience whether you are a strong believer or you're just barely making it. You're just not even sure you're gonna make it into the pearly gates. It doesn't matter how good you are or how bad you are. Everybody at some point in time in their life feels like, where you, God. And I want to just normalize that because one of the things that is the biggest problem is that when this is happening in your life, you'll feel like it's just me. Everybody else is getting along with God except me. Everybody else is getting their prayers answered except me. Everybody else is moving forward in their lives. It's just me. God has it out for me. And these are the things that we tell ourselves, which then send us down a bigger rabbit hole, because if it's just us, and what do we do to fix that? I want you to know that whether it's your health or your marriage or your money, whether it is your career, your emotions, your living circumstances, whether it is a dream that you've had that seems delayed, waiting is a part of living. And when we're waiting, sometimes God feels far because we feel really good, you know what I'm saying? Like, we feel really good when he's answering our prayers and when things are going well, and we feel like God must be on our side. But when things aren't going the way we want them to, especially when we're asking him to help us and we don't see anything moving. It's like, where is God? Why am I here by myself? Why is he not speaking into my circumstances like he's speaking into everybody else's? And then we do the comparison game. Well, if she got her prayer request answered, if God sent her a man, if he gave her the promotion, if this person has what I don't and I've been asking God for it, what does his silence mean? Does that mean he doesn't love me? Does that mean he doesn't have it for me? Does that mean it will ever come? Y'all, we can play some figure-eighty mind games trying to figure out what in the world God is doing in our lives. I know that there have been many times when I have felt that God has left me hanging out to dry. Lots of times, y'all. Listen, I remember dating the boy in high school, rather in college, and thinking, like, he just not gonna call me. Like, he just not— he just, you know what I'm saying? And like, I'm praying about it, and then I would be mad at God. Like, literally, like, if he's not the one At least let him call and say something. Like, don't let me just hang in the middle. I remember going round and round in circles in my career, my 20s, feeling like, surely I didn't go to college to come out and have a job that I hate and then have another job that I don't hate, but it ain't going nowhere. And then have another job that's working me like I'm a Hebrew slave. Like, surely there's more to it than this. And God, can you give me passion? Can you give me a vision for my life? I know I'm not the only one. I know I'm not the only one that has seen myself in my 30s raising kids and thinking, okay, there are some things I'd like to do that seem like they're on the back burner, but I don't have any money, I don't have any time, I don't have the support that I would need to have in order to get these things off the ground. But I'm trying to be faithful, like take care of my family, like serve my husband, take care of my children, but my dreams are on the back burner. Y'all, every year when it was time for a new school year or I started a new school, I'd be so excited because I'd be like, this year is going to be different. I say that every time a new calendar year rolls up too. This year is my year, and this is the time where I get my planner, so I can start planning for what I'm going to do in the year to come. And I want you to do that too, y'all. The Full Circle Planner, they are available for pre-order, and I want you to go get yours now while you can. Choose the color and make sure that you can get yours before they run out. thesistercircle.com/planner. Because it's that time where we get to decide who we're going to be. Come on and join me, y'all. Listen, I have, I have not been in every situation in life, not by a long shot, but I've been in more than my fair share, and I know what it is like to feel like you are doing your part and God is nowhere to be found. That, however, is not the measure of whether or not he loves you, he cares for you, or if he's at work on your behalf doing something you cannot see. The most recent thing where I felt like God was truly silent is, of course, my own grief journey. Praying for my mom with my family, with our church, with a global community, And seeing that while God did some amazing things to let us know that he was there, like literally 2 days after a hospital visit, she was able to be with us at church for the celebration of the release of my dad's study Bible and commentary. She was in the room for that church anniversary celebration. I mean, like, the timing of that was just impeccable. So, it was like God showed up, but he didn't answer the prayer. That we had, which was to heal her. So in that season, you're praying and you're like, God is not answering. And then you're grieving and you're like, you didn't answer our prayers. I know many of us, whether it's grieving the loss of a person's life or grieving a dream or grieving a relationship, in that empty space, in that pain, God can feel so distant. But I want you to think of this: you are not the only person that's ever felt that way. And your current silence that you're experiencing from God is not a measure of whether or not he's at work in your life. So, if you wanna think about the story of Job, Job is a whole book, it's a long book, it's a lot of poetry, it's one of the poetic books in the Bible, but the overarching journey is this. He's got a good life, Satan goes to God and says, "Listen, if you don't give him a good life, he's not gonna serve you." And God says, "Sure, test him and see, try him out." Now, I mean, if I were Job, I would be like, how you gonna do me like that? You just gonna leave me out here hanging to dry? Like, why would you— why do I have to be the poster child for suffering? But God allowed it. God allowed it. And in that, his life was marked by loss. It was marked by pain. He had unanswered questions. But here's the thing: he did not abandon his faith. In Job 13:15, Job says, though he slays me Yet I will trust him. And that's a powerful demonstration of trust in the midst of suffering. Psalm 13 says, how long, O Lord, how long? Like, this is what it sounds like when you are in desperation and you're in the waiting. How long will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? So King David, if you read the Psalms, and if you haven't, by the way, reading 5 Psalms a day will get you through the Psalms in a month. Okay, and you could just do that every, every month because I can guarantee you David felt something you're feeling— the joy, the pain, the sorrow, the tears, the excitement— where he looked at God and said, you are bigger and better than I could have ever dreamed. Like, David rode the whole roller coaster of emotions throughout the Psalms. And here's what we know: sometimes David felt like God was not around. Sometimes David felt like God wasn't on his side. Sometimes David felt like God was wonderful and coming through in the best way. Sometimes David felt like God was 'You are worthy to be praised.' And sometimes he challenged God because he was like, 'Are you even there?' But he rode the roller coaster. Here's the key thing about the Psalms: he kept coming to God. And this is what the enemy would want you to stop doing. He wants you, because you feel like God is silent, for you to stop going. He's like, 'Well, he's not doing anything, so why bother ask? You're not sure he's hearing you, so don't waste your time on your knees. Your prayers don't matter, so stop paying attention to God in prayer or in his word. He's like, can I just get you to let the silence dictate your surrender? That's what he wants you to do, to let God's silence dictate whether or not you'll surrender your time, your desires, your energy, your prayers. He's like, if I can just get you to assume that God's silence means he is not in your corner, then I can stop you from surrendering your life, which will keep you from having a successfully spiritual life. So the first thing is just keep coming, just keep coming. Just because you don't feel God's presence, it doesn't mean he's there. Your feelings are unreliable. When my kids tell me that they feel a certain way— I mean, right now, like, Joel, you know, I don't care what people say, boys don't have periods, but they do. They do. They do. Girls walk around having moodiness, and we know it starts when their cycles start. Boys have other things that start, and their moodiness comes with that as well, okay? Because he be in his feelings, you know, and he'll be walking around, I mean, why do you always— it's just blah blah blah, and you don't even want to— and I'm just looking at him like, first of all, who you talking to? That's number one. Who you talking to? But after we get past that respectful communication, most of the time his feelings are not correct. They are not correct indicators of what's happening. But he can only see his side. He can only experience his experience. He's a kid. That's the experience that he's having. But we know 1 Corinthians says, "When I was a child, I did childish things." When you're a child, you don't see the parental journey. As I've become a parent, I now understand so many things, right, that my parents— as I've gotten older, I'm like, "That's what they were doing. Oh, Oh, that's why they said no. Oh, that's why they said don't hang around this person. Oh, that's why they didn't give me money for that. That's why they didn't let me— like, I get it. But as a kid, I can only see what I can see because that's my position. What you may perceive as God's silence may be because of your position. There are certain things you cannot see until you've lived a little longer, experienced a little more of him, walked a little longer or deeper in your faith journey. And you have to accept sometimes that your feelings are because you're a kid. You just— certain things you just can't see. Your trust involves deciding to keep coming to God because you trust his character and you trust his promises, even when you can't see his action. How do you know his character? That means you have to read his word. What does that mean, that you're going to read his word? You got to keep coming. Like you just keep a Bible on your nightstand, or when you pick up your phone, you say, I'm not going to touch social media until I crack open the YouVersion. You've gotta say, "I'm gonna keep coming to remind myself of who he is and who he has been to people throughout centuries." That's why reading the Psalms is so important. David went through all the emotions because he said, "I'm just gonna keep coming." You just gotta keep coming and trust that your feelings don't tell the whole story. Trusting God despite your feelings because you choose to believe, that's faith, You choose to believe that he's present, even if you can't see him, even if you can't feel him, and even if you don't see his hand. Isaiah 55:8-9 says, for my thoughts are not your thoughts, my ways are not your ways. That means the way you want him to solve it is rarely the way he's going to solve it. He will rarely do things the way you think they're supposed to be done. There's a lot of reasons for that, but one of the reasons One of the reasons why is because he is after— here it is, this part we don't like— he is after his own glory. Now you get the runoff of that. And when he's after his own glory, he's always been about man's good. He created the earth. He said, this is good, this is good, this is good. He created man. He said, this is very good. He put man, very good man and woman, in the garden, in the good garden. He took care of everything. But when he said it, he said, "Let's make man in our image." It was about him. And then he said, "Now I'm gonna let them enjoy this because I did something for me." And often what we see is what works for us, and we can't see what would actually bring him glory. So he goes through all of these figure eights and all these behind the scenes and all these things because when he finally does it,, then we're like, I could— I wouldn't— I could have never— I wouldn't have been able to plan that if I tried. If you've ever seen God work in your life, you know that he will do things in a way that you could not have planned, you could not have seen coming. I've had this happen in my life enough time now. I have to remind myself— this is why it's so important to write it down. When God answers your prayer request, when he comes through, you have to remind yourself about the times when he answered You say, "Well, this time he may be working on it a different way, and he might be taking a little bit longer than I would like, but look at what he's done in the past." Research shows that about 70% of people who say that they believe in God feel times of spiritual dryness or distance from God. In fact, the Journal of Psychology and Christianity in 2014 made this statement: Spiritual dryness is a common struggle, but with persistence people often experience deeper intimacy with God. When you keep going with life and you look back, you can see his hand. The key is to just keep going. This is what I tell my children when they are flunking a class, when they are, you know, struggling with friendships, when they are not sure what they want to do in their life, when they get in trouble and they're like, "I'm never going to be able to," you know, when they have these moments. The key to life, y'all. The key— one of the keys is just keep going. Just keep going. This is why encouragement from having a solid sister circle, having people speaking into your life, going to a good church, doing a Bible study— yes, reading books, having good friends— like Putting yourself in a situation where the encouragement and the buffering stays up. Like, this is why there's an inner circle, because I've had women— in fact, I had an email, um, just I got this weekend from a girl who said, you asked me about the planner and I, and I filled out the survey, but I wanted to send you an email because yes, the Sister Circle, the Full Circle Planner is a great tool, but I want you to know I've been listening to you for years. And she started recounting, when you said this, this is how what happened in my life. When you gave this talk, this is what I was dealing with. When you gave this is what— and so Now you've given me this tool so that I can pay attention to my life, so I can see what the Lord is doing in my life and kind of get my attitude right about what I need to be doing to make sure I'm focusing on what matters in my life. She said, I'm finally getting things done because I'm holding myself accountable for doing it. And she went through all of these things and she told me how I have over the years encouraged her, because I'm lying if I've never said, I just quit. In fact, the team has heard me say it a couple of times. Y'all have heard me say it. I'mma burn the whole thing down. I'mma do it. And then someone will send me an email like that and they'll say, let me tell you how this has changed my life. It's time to make your mark. Every step creates your legacy. Worship, vision, Authentic connection. The tools are here if you're ready. Join women from all over for a weekend curated to change the course of your life. Pause. Hear God. It's time for you to to make your mark. Let me tell you how I've gotten better here in marriage. I'm a better parent, or I got a job, or I saved the money, or I got out of debt, just because on a Monday morning I kept showing up and you were here encouraging me. The key to life, y'all, is just keep going. And that applies to your spiritual dryness and God's silence too. Don't let his silence be the indicator that you should not keep coming. Don't let that tell you don't keep doing what you're supposed to do. I always tell my children, listen, if you're showing up, you're going to class, you're studying, you're doing your homework, don't let that bad grade throw you. Go to office hours, keep going, do the thing, keep going. 'Cause if you just keep going, it'll work out. There was even 400 years of silence, right, when the Israelites were waiting on God, and he freed them. He freed them. They prospered while they were waiting, but he did not answer that request for 400 years. So the question you need to ask yourself is, while you're waiting, are you gonna keep going, keep going to him, and prosper while you wait? Stop waiting until the next season to decide to prosper. Prosper where you are right now. Get better where you are right now. Take the opportunities to grow where you are right now. Third thing, God's silence is usually a call to greater dependence. Okay, the first thing is you gotta trust him even when you don't feel it. Your feelings don't determine whether or not he's there. You have to keep going. His silence should not determine whether or not you keep pursuing life and his guidance for your life.. And then the third thing is you need to say, does this— is this present an invitation for me to lean on him more? My husband is a great gentleman. I see more of his 'I got it'ness. I got it-ness. I see more of that when I'm sick. If I have a cold and I stay in the bed, something in him turns on because Chrystal Hurst don't stay in the bed. If I'm in the bed, I am not well. He goes into overdrive. He brings me food in the bed. He makes my tea. Can I go get something? Don't worry about it, stay there, I got it. He has a— I— he has a whole nother level. But you want to know when I see that level? When I can't get out of bed. Now he's always willing to serve and support. We, you know, he's a great servant-oriented person, but something diff— or maybe it's not something different. Maybe I see something different when I am weak. So what I want you to know is that God is a gentleman. He's not going to make you lean on him. He's not going to make you, but he invites you to. He invites you to ask for what you need so that it can be given. That's Matthew 7, for you to seek so that you can find. And sometimes When you feel like you are just on edge, you need to see that as an opportunity to lean, to get still, to get quiet, to get on your knees, to cry and say, I need— like, I can't do it. I can't do it. Leaning allows you to see how strong he is. And maybe he's always showing up strong in your life, but you're so used to doing it all on your own and making it happen that when you're waiting on him and things aren't happening the way you think they should, you wear yourself out doing it on your own, when in reality he's like, will you just lean on me? James says, if any of you ask wisdom, you can ask and I will give you all you need generously, without any reproach, without making you feel bad. Like, just lean. So maybe God's silence and the time that he's taken to answer your problem is because it's an invitation to be more dependent, that it's not rejection, but it's an invitation for reliance. So I want you to embrace the opportunity to lean. I, you know, made it through college as a single parent, and I spent a lot of time leaning, leaning on people who loved me, leaning on the Lord. I mean, I just was just leaning. But going through that season of quiet when my oldest child's biological father was nowhere to be found Learning to lean in that season where I got a college scholarship and I'm trying to finish in 4 years, not going to the parties. I'm not having the same college experience everybody else is having. Learning to lean in that season and going through silence. The guy didn't come back. You know what I mean? Like, I didn't— it wasn't easy. Learning to lean produced a knowledge of God that I have grasped a hold of strongly this day. I learned some things about him in that season that I know without a shadow of a doubt now. It produces resilience and it produces a depth of respect for God's work in your life so that the next time he's silent, you're more willing to wait. You're more willing to lean. You're more willing to trust. And there is nothing better in this life than learning that when God is silent, he is at work on your behalf. You may not be able to see his hand, but you can trust his heart. So leaning looks like don't lean on your feelings. It looks like leaning on his character, read his word. Leaning does not look like leaning on your own worry and concern. It looks like every time you feel anxious, getting on your knees and praying about it. It looks like looking for the opportunity to be still, so that he can be strong. It looks for the opportunity for you to just accept that there's something he wants you to learn. Do everything you can and then let the rest go. Donnie McClurkin says, when you've done all you can do, you just stand. Because what we're doing, y'all, what we're doing here is walking by faith. That, that's what this is. And sometimes some of the things we want God to take away or move He will never. 2 Corinthians 12, Paul talks about a thorn in his flesh. But if it produces multiple books of the Bible, he's after his glory. It will be for your good. And along the way, there may be some moments of silence. The question is, when those moments of silence come, are you going to lean in? Are you going to cry, seek, pray, ask, lean? Are you going to keep pursuing him? Draw nigh to God, because he will draw nigh to you. You got to keep going. Romans 8:28: We know that all things— in all things, God works for the good of those who love him and who have been called. So my encouragement to you this morning is for you to keep trusting, and that may look like Stop trying to do it on your own, lean. That may look like speaking to your soul, encouraging your soul. David had to do that. Your feelings don't determine how you function. That looks like continuing to move towards him and to accept that sometimes silence is a part of the journey. My hope is that this talk has given you some encouragement to just keep going, keep praying, surround yourself with people who can hold your arms up, You have a child who's not acting right and you were like, what happened when I poured all this stuff into them? I know what all of that's like, but the answer is not for you to go away, to move away from the one who is the one who your help comes from. The answer is to move toward him, for you to keep coming even when he's silent. Trusting is faith, and trusting means resting, and trusting that when you rest in him, he will hold you up. Just like you sit in a chair. When you're tired, you sit down and you just believe that the chair is gonna hold you. God has never failed his ability, in his ability to hold you up. But you gotta stop running around and pacing the floor and just sit down. Go to him and sit down. And if you're not happy with him, he already knows. Use the Psalms. If you don't have words, Read the Psalms, read them out loud, because David felt everything that you were feeling, but he kept coming. Let me pray for you. God, I know that there are those of us who right now are sick of waiting. We're sick of the silence. We're sick of asking. We're sick of seeing everybody else get what we don't have. We are tired of struggling. And many of us, even if you have moved in our past, we don't want to wait today. 'on this right now. We don't wanna wait this long. We don't know why you're taking forever to answer.' And Lord, I just ask that today you would be just Holy Spirit, as sweet as a dove, and just rest, rest on us, bring us peace, lower the anxiety, help us to see with your eyes, even if it's just to give us a glimpse of something. It's like Dorothy in the Yellow Brick Road. Before she ever got to Oz, she just followed the road. Would you help us to just see the next step and to trust that if you can give us the next step, you can give us the step after that, that you truly do order our steps. And when we're wondering if you're doing anything, would you help us to be satisfied with the next brick? Help us as your children, as your daughters, as your sons, to keep coming because we choose to trust you. Because Lord, really, what other help do we know? What are we going to do, say we just don't believe in God because he didn't answer? And then what? Is all that we're doing for naught? Will we close our eyes? Does it just go dark? I don't know that that's an alternative. I choose to believe. When there's a book that is more than 2,000 years old that talks about a man who came, who didn't commit a sin, who died, who got up from the grave, I would rather believe in that possibility. And if that possibility is the truth, then the power that got you up from the grave, Jesus, lives in me, which means I have the power to keep going even when I'm tired, even when I'm wondering where you are, and even when I'm having to wait on your answer. For my life. So, you know, for each one of us, what our prayers are, you know what we're waiting on, you know how long we've been waiting. And Lord, I just pray that you would allow us to be strong, not because we are, but because we've learned to depend on you. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen. Sometimes you just need somebody in your corner. If you're looking for coaching, accountability, and community, community with women who love God and who want to live their lives intentionally too, the Inner Circle is the place you need to be. Come on in the room.